Mushoku Tensei (LN) - Volume 12 - Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

Let’s Go Home 

I DECIDED TO CONSULT with someone about Zenith. Now that I was thinking calmly about the situation, it wasn’t a problem I could solve alone. I needed to get someone else’s input, and besides, I had one other family member here with me. 

“Teacher, I’m thinking about talking to Miss Lilia about what to do from now on.” 

“I think that would be a good idea.” 

Once we’d clothed and groomed ourselves, we popped out the door. Elinalise slunk out of her room at the exact same time, and our eyes met. Hers went wide with surprise after her gaze flitted between Roxy and me. 

“Roxy, you—” she started to say. 

“Rudy, I’m sorry, but I also have something I need to speak with Miss Elinalise about. Please go on and see Miss Lilia by yourself.” 

What was it that she had to talk to Elinalise about? I had a vague idea, but if it was what I was thinking, it was probably best I not be present. 

“Understood.” I left her behind and stalked back to one of the rooms further in—the one where Zenith was sleeping. Just before I entered, I cast a brief glance behind me, long enough to see Elinalise and Roxy dipping back into their shared room. 

I went ahead and slipped in through the door. Zenith was sitting on the bed with Lilia perched beside her in a chair. The sight reminded me of a hospital room, and my lips pressed into a tight line. “Miss Lilia?” 

“Yes, what is it, Lord Rudeus?” Lilia was tending to Zenith, face heavy with exhaustion. 

Before I did anything else, I needed to consult her. “I’m sorry for forcing my mother’s care on you,” I said. 

“Not at all. This is my job.” 

“Oh, okay.” 

A job—could she really call it that? It wasn’t like anyone was paying her for it. 

“How is she doing?” I glanced over at my mother, who just stared right back. She didn’t try to talk to me or examine me. All she did was stare blankly. 

“Well, while it doesn’t seem like she has any memories, her body is strangely healthy. She has some stamina, too. There doesn’t seem to be any other residual impairment. She can complete certain tasks by herself once I instruct her to, such as eating and changing.” 

“Really?” That meant she wasn’t a complete invalid, then. She’d just lost her memory. 

Lilia continued, “Shierra’s opinion is that it’s likely a side effect of the mana from being trapped in that crystal.” 

“Will she recover?” 

She hesitated. “According to what Miss Elinalise told me, there’s no hope of that.” 

Elinalise said that? Was she knowledgeable about this kind of thing? I felt like it was bit too soon to give up, either way. There weren’t even any decent doctors here worth taking her to. 

“The mistress treated me well. Now that the master has passed away, I will look after her.” 

“I also want to do what I can.” 

As soon as I said that, Lilia said curtly, “That’s not necessary.” Her words were cold, isolating. 

“Huh…?” I gasped in surprise, though I felt I had no right to argue. Right after my father died, when my mother needed care the most, I’d done nothing for her. It was my own fault if Lilia was fed up with me. 

But then Lilia continued, “I realize I’m being impertinent, but will you allow me to speak frankly for a moment?” 

“Yes, what is it?” 

“You should be focusing on yourself.” 

I hesitated. “On…myself?” 

“I’m sure that’s what the master would say,” she added. 

I couldn’t bring myself to agree. He was—well, you know—more selfish than that. 

“I’m the one who should be looking after the mistress. That’s why I’m here.” 

Lilia was exhausted. She had to be. And yet, she was so strong. She’d already made her peace with Paul’s death and was moving forward. I needed to learn from her example. 

“Miss Lilia, you might be upset if I ask this—” 

“I won’t be,” she interrupted. 

“But what is it that I should do?” I knew it was something I should figure out for myself, but still, I asked. 

Lilia looked at me with surprise. I pretty much knew the answer myself, but I wanted to hear someone else say it. 

“First, you should return to Mistress Norn and the others and inform them of the master’s death.” 

True. I had to go home. 

The next day, I gathered everyone and informed them that we were leaving the city. It was almost like I was taking up the leader’s mantle. Everyone followed. Perhaps they saw me as Paul’s replacement. If that was true, I needed to be worthy of the role. 

Just to be on the safe side, I went ahead and explained to them the route we would be taking. I avoided mention of teleportation circles, merely telling them that we were using a unique method to return. I also gave a strict warning against mentioning this method to anyone else. 

“But Geese is the type to down a few drinks and spill the beans,” Elinalise said. 

“Hm, well, I’ll be sure not to mention Boss’s name even if that happens, so don’t worry.” 

You couldn’t seal people’s mouths shut. I wouldn’t give them the precise location. In fact, I’d prefer to blindfold them before we even entered the ruins, if possible. 

Wait, yeah, that was a good idea. I’d do blindfolds. Maybe covering their eyes so they didn’t see the magic circles themselves would be an effective way of keeping the information from spreading. 

“This trip is all well and good, but Boss, you really okay now?” Apparently, Geese was concerned. His monkey face was furrowed as he peered over at me. 

“Do I look all right?” 

His lips twitched. “You don’t really, no… But, well, you do look better than you did before.” 

“Well, then I’m okay now.” 

To be honest, I wasn’t okay yet at all. Thanks to Roxy, I had managed to pick myself up off the ground, at least. But I had my doubts about whether we could really make the trek back home. 

I turned to Lilia. “How is my mother? We’ll be traveling through a desert for half a month. Do you think she can handle it?” 

“I’m not sure, but I’ll take responsibility for caring for her along the way.” 

“I appreciate it.” 

Lilia looked earnest as she declared her intentions. I was sure I would be able to help her with her task, too. If there was an issue with Zenith’s stamina, we could just slow our pace. 

Geese said, “If you’re worried, let’s buy a wagon.” 

“You do realize we’ll have to dump it at some point?” Elinalise pointed out. 

“Aw, who cares? We’re drowning in cash right now.” 

While I was steeped in sorrow, Geese and the others had hired some people to enter the labyrinth with them and collect the magic items located in the treasure chamber beyond the hydra’s room. The Teleportation Labyrinth was an old place, and countless adventurers had lost their lives there, so magic items abounded. They also stripped the creature of its scales—or rather, the magic stones that had been plastered across its skin. These were stones that could absorb mana. Selling all of that had netted us a colossal fortune. 

“We’re carrying what we can back to Asura to sell,” he said, showing me a bag bursting at the seams with magic stones and accessories like pendants and rings. 

Paul had died, and I was grieving, but Geese was preoccupied with how to make more cash. The thought alone irritated me a bit. But for the sake of our futures, if nothing else, it would be foolish not to retrieve what we could. Money was essential, and at least this way, everyone was repaid for their assistance. Geese’s judgment was correct. 

Besides, considering I’d sunk into depression and done nothing, it wasn’t like I had the high ground to say anything. I was sure Geese would have obeyed, albeit reluctantly, if I’d given the order for us to go home the very next day. 

“I gave your portion to Lilia,” he informed me. 

The others had met and decided how to divvy up the cash without me. They allotted me a massive portion, partly because I’d received Paul’s share too, but also because Talhand had split half of his with me, saying, “Eh, I wasn’t all that helpful this time, so here.” Vierra and Shierra, also acknowledging how hard it would be for us now that Paul was gone, had each split theirs with Lilia. Lilia intended to give every bit of that money to me. 

In my opinion, everyone had done the best they could, so I felt like they should take their share. But, well, I wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. It was true that things would undoubtedly get harder from here on out. 

“We also did a thorough sweep of the final area, but never did find any hint as to why Zenith ended up there.” Geese shrugged. 

“Nothing, hm? Well, thank you for looking,” I said. 

“Nah, it was nothin’.” 

We had no idea what had caused Zenith to be trapped in that crystal. Even if we did discover the reason, there was no guarantee it would lead to her recovery. Either way, treatment would have to wait until we returned home. 

“Geese, could I entrust the preparations for our departure to you and Miss Elinalise?” 

“Yep,” said Geese. 

“Very well,” said Elinalise. 

I was sure I could trust them to carry it out. 

We planned our trip down to the minute details. I knew the route, and everyone here was an experienced traveler, but I didn’t want us to lose anyone else, so I proceeded cautiously. We plotted out a route that would allow us to avoid the bandits we’d encountered on the way here. The path was a bit of a detour, but that wouldn’t be a problem. 

I was concerned about Zenith, but that problem was quickly solved. Geese purchased a one-person carriage pulled by a beast that resembled an armadillo. It looked like it had been designed especially for desert travel. Geese had done well. 

The “armadillo” was apparently a domesticated beast that dwelled in the eastern reaches of the Begaritt Continent. It seemed both costly and wasteful to purchase one and then just dispose of it later, but as the saying goes, you can’t make an omelet without breaking some eggs. 

Still, if we were going this far, we might as well bring the beast through the teleportation circle and take it home with us. As long as we could get it past the stairs, it would be fine. Though if it died due to climate differences when we arrived on the other side… Nah, it would die for sure if we left it in the desert. We might as well take it back and sell it to someone with an affinity for such animals. 

Thus, our preparations were complete and we set off. 

The trip proceeded smoothly. We slid easily past the bandits. We happened upon some monsters along the way, but with our numbers, they posed no danger. We had two warriors, two magicians, one warrior mage, and one healer. There was a distinct difference in power between each person, but we were well-balanced. Although we were missing one swordsman who should’ve been making this journey with us… 

Traveling without a left hand proved to be more inconvenient than I’d imagined. It didn’t hurt, but I would often try using it without thinking, only for my arm to swipe empty air. A lot of things proved difficult without two hands. Fortunately, Roxy was there to assist each time. Ever since that night, she’d been glued to me, supporting me. She made a habit of walking to my left. Then whenever anything happened, she was right there to assist. Almost like a lover. 

“…” 

I was dense. I told myself I wouldn’t be, but I was. But even I couldn’t help but realize it at this point: Roxy had feelings for me. 

“Um, Teacher?” I called out to her one night when we were both on guard duty. 

There was a crackling fire before us, and she sat beside me. Everyone else was inside the shelter, sleeping. The shelter was sturdy enough, but we still maintained a two-person watch in shifts, just to be safe. 

“Yes, what is it, Rudy?” 

Roxy was sitting close. Right beside me, in fact, with her body pressed against mine. I could feel the softness and the warmth of her small shoulders through the fabric of her robe. Almost like we were lovers. 

I mean, we had done something that lovers do. The night I’d spent with her, leaning on her, indulging in her kindness—it might have lent itself to the misunderstanding that we were lovers. Or at least, that might be what she wanted. 

I wondered if she knew I was married. Perhaps she didn’t. I didn’t feel like she’d be this bold about her affections if she knew. 

No, the problem wasn’t Roxy. It was with me. What I was doing right now was cheating. I swore fidelity to Sylphie, and yet here I was, breaking that vow. Maybe it would be best for me to make things clear to her, like, “Thank you, but I’m fine now. Let’s end things here because it would only be disrespectful to my wife, otherwise.” 

Ever since I met Roxy after first coming to this world, I’d relied upon her greatly. She’d taught me magic and language. In a way, I’d only been able to befriend Zanoba because of her. Sylphie was the one who’d cured my erectile dysfunction, but in the three years since, Roxy had been a source of mental support for me. I owed her so much. 

Plus, she’d gone so far as to use her body to comfort me this time. Even though it was her first time, she’d offered herself up to help me, to pull me out of the darkness I’d sunk into. When I was at my weakest, on my knees, she’d extended her hand to me. Even now, she was keeping her true feelings to herself to lend me aid. 

So how would it look—feel—to cast her aside once everything was over? Wasn’t that horribly disrespectful? 

No. Enough. No more self-appeasement. Talking about manners or how she’d saved me—they were all excuses. I loved Roxy. That’s right, I loved her. If you asked me which I loved more between her and Sylphie, I couldn’t give you an answer. My love for each of them was different but equal. 

That’s why I was wavering right here, in this moment. A moment where I loved Sylphie, but loved Roxy, too. But it was Sylphie to whom I’d sworn my fidelity. While I had broken that oath, a promise was still a promise, even if it was one that had been broken once before. 

Yes, okay, Sylphie had said, “I don’t mind if you bring a second woman home.” But I was the one who’d dismissed those words, swearing I would only be with her. Sylphie had been so happy when I said that, beyond a shadow of a doubt. I couldn’t betray her. 

“Um, you see…the truth is, I’m actually married and will be having a child soon. So, I feel bad saying this, but could you stop doing things for me like you’re my lover?” 

Her shoulder gave a jolt. Then she muttered, “I already knew you were married. I heard from Miss Elinalise.” 

“Oh, you did?” 

So she knew and she was still acting like this. Then that must mean… Wait, what exactly did that mean? 

“It’s fine, I understand. There’s nothing for you to be concerned about. I was the one who took advantage of you when you were feeling weak,” she continued, her tone completely flat. “Besides, I know under ordinary circumstances, you’d never get involved with someone as tiny and unappealing as me.” 

“Tiny and unappealing? That’s nonsense,” I protested. 

“You don’t have to comfort me, I’m perfectly aware of how I look.” 

True, her body might be petite. She had no curves and she was thin as a stick. In the feminine department, she would likely even lose to Sylphie. But you might also say she simply had the body of a loli, and I was the type who could appreciate that. 

“Don’t worry. I don’t plan to barge into your life. I’m just going to be your left hand for the length of this trip. Just ignore me once it’s all over and look after your wife instead,” Roxy said, hesitantly peering up at me. 

“All right.” 

“…” 

But still, she really had saved me. Doing nothing in return couldn’t be right. “Would you allow me to repay you, at the very least?” 

“Repay me, you say?” Roxy looked surprised. 

“Yes, if there’s something I can do, just name it. Anything.” 

Her eyes wavered. 

Aw, crap. Maybe I’d said the wrong thing. “Anything” wasn’t fine. Anything was exactly what she’d done to help me out. 

“Um, well, then…” she started. 

“Yes?” 

“…Then would you hear my excuse? All you have to do is listen.” 

An excuse? An excuse for what? 

“Sure, all right,” I said. “Go ahead.” 

Roxy was quiet for a short period after that, but finally, the words came trickling out, one after the other. “I…fell in love at first sight.” 

“With who?” 

“Huh?” Roxy was just as confused at my question. 

“Don’t tell me you fell in love with my father?” 

“No, not at all! With you , Rudy, when you saved me back in that labyrinth.” 

When we reunited? Back then, she’d treated me like such a complete stranger that I couldn’t even keep a lid on my nausea. I’d hugged her out of nowhere, then barfed. I didn’t see anything worth falling for there. I figured her feelings had developed after that. 

“You can hardly blame me,” she said. “I was on death’s door, about to abandon all hope, and this handsome, dashing young man appeared and saved me. Anyone would’ve been shaken by that.” 

“I’m handsome?” 

Roxy nodded. “The very picture of my ideal partner.” 

Really? Her ideal partner? I had to keep myself from grinning. 

“The entire time we were exploring in that labyrinth, I was staring at your face,” she said. 

“Come to think of it, our eyes did meet a lot. But you always turned away immediately.” 

“That’s because, well…” Roxy hesitated. “Come on, it’s embarrassing looking someone as handsome as you right in the eye.” 

So she’d been embarrassed? 

“I figured it was impossible,” she said. “Miss Elinalise and the others were talking at the pub. ‘What’s Rudy going to do after what happened with Paul’—that kind of thing. Miss Elinalise and Mister Geese said you’d be fine, that you could stand back up on your own. But I recalled our time together in Buena Village.” 

Her words kept coming. “I remembered watching you and Mister Paul enjoy your sword training together. The two of you got along so well back then. And then I suddenly remembered something else: the first time you rode a horse. Back then, you were so terrified. Your body was so tense, and you couldn’t move at all. I thought to myself, ahh, this kid is so mature and has so much talent, but he’s actually really weak. 

“Then I remembered all your interactions with Paul. From when you trained together in the past, to your banter in the labyrinth. And I saw you how depressed you were, how listless, and I remembered that you’re much weaker than you appear. It felt like Paul meant far more to you than anyone had realized. Now that you’d lost him, I was afraid you might sink so far into depression that you couldn’t get back up on your own. 

“Of course, I didn’t think I’d be the one to help you get back up. I heard you had someone you loved. I was sure that person would have the power to put you back together again if you felt broken. But you needed them more than ever before right then, and they weren’t here. I felt like someone had to save you. But Miss Elinalise and Mister Geese just planned to leave you be, and Miss Lilia was too busy attending to Miss Zenith. So I thought: I’m the only one who can do this. 

“I’m sure that must sound like an excuse, but I didn’t intend for it to go that far at first. I did get the feeling that you respected me, but I’m tiny and unattractive. I have no idea who your partner is, but I’m sure she must be a beauty if she’s related to Miss Elinalise. I never thought there’d be a chance you’d look at me the same way, but I ignored that, thinking it would be fine as long as I did something that could help. 

“But then when you suddenly grabbed me and I saw your face up close… I just, I couldn’t help thinking, maybe I have a chance. Miss Elinalise and the others had just talked about how sex could cheer men up when they were down. So, I just thought, maybe even I can do this. I couldn’t help it. I love you.” 

Roxy’s tears started falling one after the other. The moment I saw them, pain shot through my chest like my heart was being gouged out. 

“It was cruel,” she choked out. “My feelings for you were obvious, but no one told me about you being married until way after the fact. It wasn’t fair.” 

I wondered at whom those words were directed. Not me , I thought, so perhaps Elinalise? It was true that I hadn’t told her about my marriage, though. There was no special reason for that—it just hadn’t come up. If she was going to blame anyone, I was equally accountable. 

Still, if our roles were reversed…if I’d reunited with Sylphie, she’d saved me, and I’d fallen in love with her, then proceeded to make romantic overtures only to discover she already had another partner… Well, I’d surely be shocked. No, there was no doubt about it. I definitely would be. 

“Um, Teacher?” 

I wanted Roxy to be rewarded for what she’d done. She should be rewarded. 

“What is it?” she asked. 

But what was I supposed to do? What could I do to repay her? How could I bring her fulfillment without betraying Sylphie? 

“Um, at the very least, why don’t we grant your wish while we’re making this trip? I’ll be your lover until I make it back home, and then…” 

And then what? That wouldn’t solve anything. I knew that much. This wouldn’t help either of us. I would just be betraying Sylphie. It would only be temporary, and it was the worst possible proposal I could have come up with. 

A long pause and then, “That’s…an incredibly appealing idea.” Roxy squeezed my arm tight. Then, lightly, she tapped her hand against my cheek. “But please stop with all that. You don’t have to do anything.” 

“…All right.” 

I didn’t have to do anything. If Roxy was fine with that, then I would do as she asked. I’d done everything she’d told me to do until now, and I would continue to do so. 

That’s what you want, right, Teacher? 

*** 

We arrived at Bazaar in a little over a month. 

Once there, we bought some souvenirs, such as glasswork, for Sylphie and the others. One such piece was a glass bottle with an interesting shape, and a red glass hair accessory with a tribal crest on it. I prayed they wouldn’t break on the journey home. 

After that, we bought some rice. Seed rice, that is. I wasn’t confident it would grow well back home, but I wanted to try. If that failed, I could always eat it as-is. 

That evening, Elinalise took the women of the group to go drinking. One of those girls-only parties, I guess. Not that any of them were young enough to be considered girls anymore. Lilia was the only one who refused, on account of having to look after Zenith. The rest, Roxy included, tagged along with Elinalise. Geese and Talhand didn’t participate, of course, but they did come up with their own excuses to go out. 

I stayed to help Lilia and look after Zenith. My mother could walk, eat, and go to the bathroom, but she wouldn’t talk or proactively do anything herself. She was almost like a machine, carrying out the commands she was given. Occasionally she would stare in my direction—wouldn’t say a word, just stare. Maybe she felt some connection to me because we were related by blood? The chances of something triggering her memory to return were…well, slim to none. 

I wondered what Paul would do if he were here. Truly, I wondered. Surely, he would do a good job. Or maybe he wouldn’t. Maybe he would fail. 

In the middle of the night, Roxy came to see me, absolutely hammered. Apparently, she’d told Elinalise everything, letting all her pent-up resentment spill forth. For her part, Elinalise had to feel conflicted. She’d said that Roxy was her dearest friend. She had to want to support Roxy’s love life, but not at the expense of her granddaughter’s marriage. I imagined that put her in a difficult spot. 

Roxy beat her tiny fists against my chest, then returned to her sleeping quarters. 

The next day, we arrived at the Gryphon’s ledge. Normally, a carriage couldn’t make the climb, but I used my magic to force it up onto the ledge. 

On the first day, the armadillo cowered at the scent of the Gryphons and stopped in its tracks. I wondered if we would have to double back and leave it in Bazaar, but once we defeated the offending monster and it saw Geese wolf down the enemy’s meat right in front of it, the armadillo seemed to sense it was safe, and proceeded to merrily plod along. 

According to Geese, this was a trick he learned from one of his demon friends. By defeating and eating a monster’s natural predator right in front of it, you instilled the idea in its head that your own group was superior in strength to that of the predator. When I asked if the man who’d taught him this had a lizard-like face, Geese just laughed and said, “So you know him? Shoulda figured you would, Boss.” 

It took a whole day of travel across the ledge before we arrived at the desert. From there, it was a further three days to pierce through the sandstorm. When I used my magic to interrupt it, Roxy said, her voice tinged with jealousy, “So your earth magic is Saint-level, too. Amazing.” 

There was an abundance of monsters after that, so we proceeded with extreme caution, even though we had plenty of people along this time, including several veterans. Even if one or two of us were in a pinch, someone else could immediately dive in to help. We even crushed the Sand Garuda, which we’d avoided engaging with on the way in. After that came a giant lizard resembling a T-rex, which we similarly defeated. 

I feared the Sandworms along the way might pose a real threat, but Geese was able to sniff them all out. Apparently, there was a trick to it. According to him, there was a thin, donut-shaped ridge in the ground where they were located. As long as you carefully scanned the terrain for that ridge, you could identify their hiding spots at once. That said, the desert wasn’t exactly flat. There were plenty of occasions where I failed to correctly identify the ridges, probably partly due to my lack of experience. 

Succubi attacked us too, but we dispensed with them easily, since our party was comprised mostly of women. Geese and I were both done in by their pheromones, but at least we had Detoxification magic to counter it. My true feelings did slip forth at one point, making me try to go after Roxy…but it was otherwise uneventful. 

What shocked me the most was that Talhand was entirely unaffected by them. He snorted and said, “’Course it doesn’t work on me.” 

I guess a sound body leads to a sound mind after all. Incredible! 

We arrived at the ruins. Just as we’d planned, everyone besides Elinalise was blindfolded outside. Shierra fussed a bit about it, but Vierra persuaded her and we were able to proceed without issue. The blindfolds themselves were for little more than peace of mind, but as long as they didn’t see the circles, they wouldn’t know what had happened. 

As for the wagon, we left it behind. It couldn’t make it past the entrance. Surely Zenith could make the next week on foot. Now that we’d made it this far, I didn’t even mind if the last leg of our journey took us a little longer. 

The armadillo was able to make it through the entrance, so we brought it along with us. I had no idea if the climate back home would agree with it, but it had to be better than leaving it here for other monsters to feast on. 

Geese and the others were surprised once they removed their blindfolds and discovered the scenery around them had changed completely. We went from being surrounded by a desert to being smack dab in the middle of a forest. Their shock was understandable. I warned them strictly to never talk about how we’d arrived here, even if they managed to guess how we’d done it. 

That was how we left the Begaritt Continent. Just a bit further and I would be home.