Mushoku Tensei (LN) - Volume 6 - Chapter 13

Chapter 13:

The Young Miss’s Resolution 

By the time the meeting ended, the sun had already set. I returned to my room. It was furnished with only the barest of essentials, and my luggage was strewn across it. While I recognized the need to tidy up, I felt no motivation to do so. Instead, I sat on my bed. My body sank into the hard mattress. I seemed to be more exhausted than I thought I was. 

“Phew…” 

Not that I’d done anything particularly exhausting today. Still, the fatigue clung fast to my body. Perhaps this was what people called mental exhaustion? No, that wasn’t it. I’d just received a huge shock. 

Sauros, Phillip and Hilda—I’d never had a particularly intimate conversation with any of them. Still, when I closed my eyes, I remembered going out for a long ride with Sauros, inspecting the region’s crops while he asked about how Eris was doing. I remembered Philip with that awful smile on his face as he proposed we take over the Boreas household together. I remembered how Hilda begged me to marry her daughter and become a part of their family. 

They were all gone now. Not even their house remained. That vast manor, through which booming voices had echoed, was gone. The reception hall where Eris and I had danced, the tower where the old man had his trysts, the library piled with documentation relating to the region…it was all just gone. 

It wasn’t just the manor, either. Buena Village was gone, too; not that I’d gone to see for myself. The tree in our garden that Zenith treasured so much, the ones that were charred by lightning when Roxy was teaching me Saint-tier water magic, and the large tree that Sylphie and I had played under…all of those were gone, too. 

Wait…why were trees the only thing that came to mind when I tried to remember Buena Village? Well, whatever. It was all gone. I’d understood that logically after Paul told me as much, but seeing it in person was a bigger shock than I thought it would be. 

“Phew…” 

Just as I let out another sigh, a loud banging came upon my door. 

“Come on in.” I bade them enter. 

It was Eris. “Evening, Rudeus.” 

“Eris, are you all right now?” 

“I’m fine,” she said as she came to stand before me, taking up her usual pose. She didn’t look depressed at all. Impressive as ever. Her family had been completely wiped out and she was still far stronger than I was. Actually, she usually wouldn’t even knock, just bust the door open with her foot. Perhaps she was depressed. 

“Well, I figured this was how things would end up.” 

“Oh really…?” 

Eris spoke as if it didn’t bother her at all. Like she said before, it seemed she’d prepared herself for this. Specifically, for the possibility of her family being dead. I couldn’t bring myself to do the same. Even now, not knowing where Zenith was, I had to believe she was alive. It was much more likely that she was dead, and I understood that intellectually, but couldn’t bring myself accept it. 

“Eris, what are you going to do after this?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Um, you heard about things from Mister Alphonse, right?” 

“I did. But who cares about all that?” 

“‘Who cares’…?” I echoed back. 

Eris was looking straight at me. Suddenly I realized—albeit a little late—that her outfit was different. She was clad in the black one-piece that she hadn’t worn once since she bought it back in Millishion. It matched so well with her red hair that it looked almost like a dress. I could see her breasts pushing through the thin material. 

Huh? She’s not wearing a bra, then? Upon closer inspection, I realized her hair was a bit damp. I could smell soap too, something I only ever noticed right after she bathed. And it wasn’t just that. Normally, Eris didn’t have a particular smell to her, but I was catching a faint, sweet fragrance now. Perfume? 

“Rudeus, I’m alone now.” 

Alone—that was true. She had no family. She had brothers related to her by blood, but they weren’t family. 

“And besides that, I recently turned fifteen.” 

The moment I heard her say fifteen, I panicked. When? When had her birthday passed? Mine was just a month or two away, which meant hers must have been about a month ago. I didn’t even realize. 

“Um, sorry for not remembering.” 

Which day had been her birthday? I couldn’t remember her even dropping a hint about it. I would’ve thought Eris would make a lot of fuss over turning fifteen. Had there really been nothing? No day when she’d said something to indicate that it was her birthday? 

“You may not have realized it, but it was the day that Ruijerd told me I was an adult.” 

“Ahh.” So that was it. It all made sense now. 

This sucks. I seriously didn’t notice , I thought. 

“Uhhh, should I get something for you? Is there anything you want?” 

“Yes, there’s one thing I want,” she said. 

“What’s that?” 

“A family.” 

I was at a loss for words when she said that. That wasn’t something I could give her. I couldn’t bring people back to life. 

“Rudeus, become my family.” 

“Huh?” When I suddenly looked at her, I could tell that despite how dark the room had grown, her face was bright red. Was this…well, you know…a proposal? “You mean like brother and sister?” 

“I don’t care what you want to call it.” She was red all the way up to her ears, but she still wouldn’t turn her gaze away. “S-so, basically, what I’m saying is, um…let’s sleep together.” 

I had no idea what she was talking about, believe me! 

Just calm down and let’s think about the meaning of her words , I told myself. I could surmise, based on her proposal that we should sleep together, that she was shocked by everything that had happened, too. She probably wanted to be with me to heal the wounds inflicted on her heart. 

A family. Or in this case, a pretend family, I suppose? 

But… 

“I’m feeling kind of lonely today, so I might end up doing something perverted to you.” 

To be honest, I had no confidence in myself. I mean, I wasn’t confident that I could get into bed with her, feel the heat of her body, and still be able to hold myself back. Even Eris should’ve understood that much. And yet… 

“Y-you can do it today.” 

“I already told you before, it’s not going to be just ‘a little bit’ if I do it,” I warned. 

“I remember. And I’m saying that you can have your way with me.” 

After hearing her reply, I stared fixedly at Eris’ face. What the heck are you saying? I found myself thinking. I mean, come on. After being told that, my little man was now having his own little standing ovation. 

“Wh-why are you suddenly saying all of this?” I asked. 

“I promised you we would when I turned fifteen, right?” 

“That was when I turned fifteen, right?” 

“I don’t mind either way,” she said. 

“I do mind.” 

This was weird. Something was weird. Come on, think, what was it that was weird? Oh, I got it! In other words, Eris was feeling desolate. So perhaps she was being self-destructive. I’d seen scenes like this numerous times in erotic games. People comforted each other to cope when they lost someone. And by comfort, I mean locked their bodies together physically. Okay, yep, I got it. 

Still, what did that say about me if I put my hands on her in this kind of situation? It was almost like I was taking advantage of her when she was weak. Of course, I wanted to do it, okay? The worst part of me was rejoicing: let’s throw away our virginity! 

But wasn’t that something I should do under more normal circumstances? We were both in pain, and if we let ourselves be caught up in the moment, we would regret it later, I was sure. 

Ahh, but I might not get another chance with her giving me permission like this. If she suddenly decided to go off and be with Pilemon, our promise would go out the window. 

No, forget that. I really didn’t want Eris’ first time to be stolen by someone else. I wanted to do it. I did. But I had a feeling we shouldn’t. 

I’d made fun of all the indecisive protagonists of harem stories before. I’d called them cowards who couldn’t pluck up the courage when it was necessary. And now that it was actually my turn to be in the same situation, I was the one hesitating. 

What was I supposed to do? Whatever I decided, I felt like I’d regret it later. I would only stop regretting it two years from now when, on my fifteenth birthday, Eris would present herself with a ribbon wrapped around her body. “Here’s your birthday present. Since I might accidentally punch you, I tied my hands up too. Feel free to do what you want to me,” she would say as she sat atop my bed. 

Ahh, no. Wait. I’d almost died recently. In what I’d thought were my final moments of life, I’d been full of regret. There were still things I wanted to do, and no guarantee that something similar wouldn’t happen in the two years that remained before my fifteenth birthday. It wasn’t like I could narrowly escape death forever. Maybe I should get rid of my virginity right now, before any similar troubles arose in the future? 

No, but, wait a sec… 

“Jeez!” 

Eris must’ve been frustrated at my indecision. She cleared her throat and then softly sat herself upon my lap. She positioned herself sideways so she could wrap her arms around my neck, presenting me with the vista of her tanned breasts and beautiful face. She opened her mouth like she was going to speak, then suddenly realized something was pressing against her thigh. Her face went even redder. “What the heck is that…?” 

“It’s because you’re so cute.” 

Eris merely hummed in return, and ground her thighs against the head of my little man. It was a soft and pleasant sensation. My little man was overjoyed, and his father (me) was growing short of breath. 

“This means you’re turned on right now?” she asked. 

“Yeah.” 

“So you don’t dislike me, right?” 

“Nope.” 

“Are you worried about my father and grandfather?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Rudeus, you’ve been giving me a naughty look this entire time.” 

“Yeah.” 

“But you’re still going to refuse me?” 

“…Yeah.” I nodded finally. 

My gaze was pinned to the base of her neck, her chest. She had already conquered my body with her soft thighs, the feel of her chest pressed against me, and her scent, which filled my lungs as I inhaled. I was like a dog wagging its tail. But I summoned the last threads of reason that remained within me and said, “A promise is a promise, isn’t it? We said we’d wait until I turned fifteen.” 

In the moment, speaking frankly, that promise meant squat to me. Even I wasn’t entirely sure why I was holding myself back. 

In response to my words, Eris just huffed. Her breath caressed my cheek. 

“Hey, Rudeus. My mother taught me this, but since it’s embarrassing and I’m forbidden from using it anymore, I’m only going to say it once,” she said, taking in a deep breath. She brought her face close to my ear. 

Then came a few words, in a tone so soft and sweet, it was as if a forbidden seal had been undone. “Rudeus, I want to be your little kitty. Mew~” 

Those words went straight though my ear and infiltrated my simpleton’s brain, snuffing out the last threads of reason that were keeping me from giving in. Eris was a wild beast, and in response to those words, I became a beast, too. A creature of instinct, one that shoved Eris down onto the bed. 

*** 

That night, Eris and I ascended the steps to adulthood together. During that time, I forgot all about the other complicated matters weighing on us. All I could think about was how I wanted to be with Eris. I didn’t say as much, but I think I loved her. I wanted to protect her forever. I didn’t care about the circumstances. 

Paul had said it himself, hadn’t he? Who cared about a noble’s duties? I didn’t need to think about stuff like that. I would do anything to help her. While we were at it, three children would be fine, but I was sure we’d make more than that. 

I was elated. It never even crossed my mind to wonder what Eris might be thinking. 

Eris 

M y name is Eris Boreas Greyrat. 

That day, I became an adult. Rudeus gave me the present I wanted for my fifteen birthday. It was a bit different than what we’d promised, but we tied ourselves together all the same. 

I loved Rudeus. When was it that I first started to realize my feelings? That’s right—it was on his tenth birthday. I was sleeping when my mother suddenly shook me awake, dressed me in a bright red nightgown and, with a serious look on her face, told me, “Go to Rudeus’ bed and surrender your body to him.” 

I wasn’t against having sex, but I was confused. My mother and Edna had explained it to me and made sure I understood it would happen some day. Still, I wasn’t prepared for it then. I’d thought it would be further in the future. 

Regardless of whether Rudeus knew of my trepidation, he touched my body anyway. He and my father had stayed up late talking together, so perhaps he’d already been told about this. As I considered that, another thought popped into my head. 

Maybe he doesn’t actually love me. 

Perhaps he was only doing it because my father told him to. Even back then, Rudeus was an amazing person. He knew everything and he could do anything, but that didn’t hamper his desire to keep learning. He just kept moving forward. 

I was sure he suited me well. Yet, as his breathing grew ragged, I worried that I was just a reward given to him by my father. When I realized that I wasn’t okay with it anymore, I shoved him away and made a dash for it. I started back toward my room, but then I got scared. Maybe I’d just done something that I could never take back. Maybe I’d just wasted my last chance. I’d met with the other children of noble families numerous times, but none of them had as much grit as Rudeus. 

Rudeus had been interested in my body ever since we first met. He’d tried to flip my skirt, pull down my panties, feel up my breasts. Each time, I’d punch him to drive him away. Back when I still attended school, I would punch boys who made fun of me, and they would never utter anything cocky to me again. That didn’t work with Rudeus. I honestly felt, with every fiber of my being, that when my mom said Rudeus was the only one, she was right. 

Who cares if I’m just a reward? I thought. At least we can be together. So, I returned to his room. 

But when Rudeus saw me, he knelt to the ground and sprawled out like a frog. He apologized, saying he was the one in the wrong. In response, I just looked down at him and told him to wait five more years. At the time, I thought that would be enough. Rudeus was enough of an adult to wait for me. 

That was when I started to fall in love with him. 

However, things soon changed. We were transported off to god-knows-where, and, when we awoke, there was a Superd standing before us. I thought I was being punished. Whenever I was being really selfish, my mother would warn me that the Superd would come and eat me. 

I cried out and cowered on the ground. And the person who came to my rescue was neither my grandfather nor Ghislaine—it was Rudeus. Rudeus worked things out with the Superd. Even though he must’ve been overwhelmed with anxiety himself, even though I was older than him, he calmed and soothed me. It must’ve taken a lot of courage for him to do that. I fell in love all over again. 

After that, even as his face went pale, he dealt with the demon folk. He didn’t eat very much. He hid the fact that he wasn’t feeling well, physically. I was sure he was keeping his suffering to himself because he didn’t want to worry me, so I decided to restrain myself, too. I bit back the urge to yell and punch people, and let Rudeus handle things instead. I tried to act the same as I always did, but there were times where I just couldn’t hold it in—when the anxiety came boiling up from deep within me and wouldn’t stop. 

But Rudeus didn’t get angry. He just stayed beside me. There were no cutting remarks—he just stroked my head, wrapped his arms around my shoulders, and comforted me. During those times, he never once crossed boundaries. He was normally so playfully obvious about being turned on by me, but during those times, he never touched me more than was necessary. 

I wanted to become stronger. At least strong enough to not be a burden on him. The only thing I could do better than Rudeus was wield my sword, and even in that regard, I couldn’t compare to our companion, Ruijerd. And while I might have stood a chance in a swordfight, I couldn’t beat Rudeus when he used magic. 

Despite all that, Rudeus let me gain experience by fighting with them. I was sure the party would have had an easier time killing monsters and traveling overland if it had been just the two of them. The thought made me want to cry. I worried that Rudeus might realize I was holding them back, and come to hate me. I worried that he would leave me behind, so I worked desperately to get stronger. 

I requested that Ruijerd train me. He knocked me down numerous times. Each time Ruijerd would ask me, “Do you understand?” Each time I would remember Ghislaine’s words and nod. Rationality—that’s right, rationality. There was a rationality to the way an expert moved. When training with someone stronger than me, the first thing to do was to observe them. 

Ruijerd was strong. Stronger than Ghislaine, most likely. And so, I watched. I watched his movements intently and mimicked them where I was able. Ruijerd helped me in my quest to get stronger. In the middle of the night, after Rudeus finally fell asleep, exhausted, Ruijerd would join me for training without once making a fuss about it. Of course, he still knocked me flat in every bout. Perhaps it was difficult for him to strike me down as he did, given how much he loved children, but I felt confident in calling him “Master.” 

A year passed since we started our journey. I thought I’d become stronger. It was different from the understanding I thought I’d come to before, when I’d been told “Rationality, rationality!” repeatedly by Ghislaine. Through my training with Ruijerd, I finally understood the true meaning of the word. Previously, I hadn’t seen a problem with sloppy movements in battle, but I now understood that each and every movement had meaning to it. 

Then one day, I managed to defeat Ruijerd. In retrospect, it seemed like he had his attention drawn toward something else. Still, I didn’t care that it was a distraction which created the opening. I’d finally landed one on him. Now I wouldn’t be a hindrance anymore. I could walk beside Rudeus. 

Yeah, I sure let myself get carried away. 

Rudeus easily deflated my swollen head. He’d suddenly acquired a demon eye and had no trouble using it to hold me down. I lost to him in a straight-up physical sparring match with no magic. It was a shock. It was cheating, I thought—foul play. In a single leap, he’d overtaken me on a road I’d walked for years. 

I was just as much of a hindrance as ever. 

I cried in secret. Early the next morning I went to the beach and sobbed as I swung my sword. Ruijerd told me not to worry about it. Rudeus was just very compatible with the demon eye he’d received. He told me if I trained, I’d get stronger. That I had talent, and shouldn’t give up. 

What talent? All Ghislaine and Ruijerd did was lie to me. At the time, Rudeus looked so grand to me. He shone so large and so bright that I couldn’t even look at him directly. I’d put him on a pedestal. I wanted to catch up to him, but I’d given up at some point, thinking it fruitless. 

That changed after we crossed the Millis Continent. That was when we met Gyes and I learned there were combat techniques out there besides swordfighting and magic. I wanted to try to learn, but he refused me. At the time, I wondered why. I couldn’t accept it. 

Then there were the events in Millishion. I wanted to prove I could do things by myself, so I went to slay the simplest of creatures—goblins. That was when I caught the first glimpse of my own talent. I fought those strange assassins, and I overwhelmed them. At some point, I’d started to grow. 

But when I went back to the inn, Rudeus was down in the dumps. When I pressed him for details, I found out that Paul was in the city, and that he and Rudeus had clashed. Even though Rudeus wasn’t crying, when I saw the extent of his depression, I finally remembered he was two years younger than I was. Yet despite his age, he’d become the home tutor for someone as selfish as I. He’d had to celebrate his tenth birthday away from family, and was forced to travel the Demon Continent while shouldering a burden like me. Then his father pushed him away. 

I absolutely could not forgive that. As someone whose name was listed amongst the nobility of Asura, I promised myself that I was going to cut down Paul Greyrat. I’d heard of Paul’s strength from my own father. He was a genius swordsman who’d reached Advanced-tier in Sword God Style, Water God Style and North God Style. He was also Rudeus’ father. Still, I didn’t doubt that I could win. Ghislaine had taught me swordplay, but Ruijerd taught me combat. If I combined the two, there was no way I would lose to that brute. 

However, Ruijerd stopped me. When I asked why, he told me this was a fight between father and son. I knew Ruijerd regretted what happened with his own son, so I decided to listen. 

Ultimately Rudeus and Paul made up. It was just as Ruijerd had said. But I’ll say it again: I couldn’t accept it. I couldn’t understand why Rudeus forgave his father. I could never have forgiven someone like that. Rudeus didn’t talk much about it, and Ruijerd wouldn’t tell me anything, either. They were both adults. 

From there, we crossed over to the Central Continent. That’s when Rudeus started eating a bunch more, perhaps because he’d regained his spirit. As usual, he was incredible. In a single day, he managed to befriend the Third Prince and save his family. 

As for me, the only thing I could do was go on a rampage with Ruijerd. We did help save Rudeus as a result, but we did it without any forethought. Afterward, Rudeus said things like, “I didn’t do anything,” and, “You guys really helped me out,” but judging by what happened, he could have dealt with it all on his own. 

Rudeus was so great. Too great. And he only got even greater on that day when we encountered the Dragon God. During the confrontation with Orsted, Ruijerd and I were terrified by what we saw as the embodiment of fear before us. Only Rudeus was completely unaffected. 

He even managed to land an attack on Orsted—an opponent Ruijerd had been helpless against. My eyes couldn’t follow the magic he unleashed back then. When Rudeus actually got serious in battle, he was amazing. He actually managed to fight back against the man regarded as the strongest in the world, the Dragon God. 

But just as soon as I thought that, Rudeus was fatally injured and dying. Until then, I’d thought death was something irrelevant to us. Rudeus was strong. There was no way he would die, and as long as I had him protecting me, I wouldn’t die, either. We also had Ruijerd with us, so we were safe. That’s what I’d thought. 

I was mistaken. 

If that girl accompanying the Dragon God hadn’t spoken up on a whim, or if the Dragon God hadn’t been able to use healing magic, Rudeus would have been gone right there. I was so scared. That incident renewed my fears of being a burden. 

Now, Rudeus was becoming godlike. Even though he’d almost been killed, he was completely nonchalant about it. Just three days after he’d almost died, he was anticipating a future encounter with the Dragon God and practicing new magic to prepare for it. I couldn’t comprehend that. I couldn’t, and I was scared, so I just stayed beside him. I felt like if I didn’t stay with him, he’d disappear and leave me behind. 

Then we parted ways with Ruijerd. Ruijerd said that beating the Dragon God was impossible, but right there at the end, he taught me something. He reminded me of the technique the Dragon God had used. It was burned into my mind, the way he’d deflected my attack. 

There was a method behind it. The Dragon God wasn’t an unknown monster. He was a master, but he was using techniques known to man. 

Finally, we made it home and I discovered nothing was left. My father, my grandfather, and my mother were dead. I was heartbroken. After everything I’d suffered to make it back here, my house and my family were gone. Ghislaine and Alphonse were there, but they felt distant and formal, like they were different people. 

All I had left was Rudeus, and I wanted us to become a family. I was impatient. His contract to tutor me had been five years long, and we’d already passed that point long ago. He’d finished his duty by escorting me home. Not everyone in his family had been found yet. I was sure he’d immediately be off again, and he would leave me behind. I just knew it. 

I used my body in order to keep him here. He hesitated at first, and I worried he wouldn’t accept me. Rudeus had never peeked in on me while I was bathing. Even on the ship traveling to the Millis Continent, when he’d had numerous opportunities to touch me, he didn’t. I worried that he wasn’t interested in my body. I spent all my time training, and lacked the femininity that other girls had. 

That wasn’t the case, though. Rudeus was turned on by me, and seeing him like that turned me on, too. 

So, we connected our bodies. I’d never done it before, so it was odd at first, but gradually began to feel good. In comparison, Rudeus seemed to be enjoying it from the very beginning. And yet, partway through he grew weak and feeble, as if he might break. That was when I realized, once again, that Rudeus was smaller than I was. He was quite robust down there , but he was shorter than me and more slightly built. 

He was so young, and yet he had always protected me. He spent the entire voyage healing my seasickness when we were on the ship, and was incredibly exhausted when we disembarked. Compared to that, what was I? I’d gotten more powerful. I’d gotten fairly decent at swordplay. But I got so caught up in my image of Rudeus’ magnificence that ignored how little he really was. In the end, I used my anxiety about losing my family as an excuse to force myself on him, and treated him poorly in the pursuit of my own desire. 

I’ll say it again. I loved Rudeus. But I was not fit to be with him. I would only be a burden to him. We had become family, but we couldn’t become more than that. We couldn’t be husband and wife. Even if we were together, I’d just keep holding him down. 

For now, it would be better if we spent some time apart. This thought occurred to me naturally. As long as I was with him, I would take advantage of his kindness. The sweet sensations of the night we’d spent together still lingered in my body, so much so that I ached for it. This was characteristic of the Greyrat family, though unexpectedly, Rudeus might not share those proclivities as strongly. He was trying his best to keep up with me, but at this rate, the fierceness of my desire might confuse him. I couldn’t do that to him. 

I had no intentions of doing what Alphonse said, and marrying another man. It was too late for him to tell me to live like the daughter of a noble family. Being told to make sacrifices for the region’s citizens when I didn’t even really know those citizens had no appeal to me. My grandfather, my father, and my mother were all gone. The Fittoa Region was gone. What was the point? 

I would discard the Boreas name. But I was still the granddaughter of Sauros, and the daughter of my parents, and so I would live on with an iron will. 

I’m going to get stronger , I resolved. 

I would part with Rudeus and keep training. I wouldn’t stop until I could stand side-by-side with him. I didn’t have to be able to defeat him. But at the very least, I wanted to become a woman who was befitting of his stature. One who wouldn’t have people whispering behind her back if she got close to him. 

I didn’t have Rudeus’ shrewdness, so instead, I would seek power. Ghislaine, Ruijerd, and Gyes had said I had talent with the sword, and I would trust their words. I would follow Ghislaine’s recommendation and head to the Sword Sanctum. There, I would become a powerful, precise swordswoman. 

A swordswoman (me) and a magician (Rudeus). The traditional pairing was the other way around, but both of us were fine with that. We would grow, get stronger, and meet each other again. Then we would take the next step in our family and become husband and wife. I would have his kids and we would live happily ever after, 

Now then, how should I go about telling him goodbye? Rudeus was an excellent speaker. No matter what I tried to say, he might stop me. He might try to come with me because he was worried about me being alone. 

Perhaps I should leave a note…? But knowing me, I’d probably leave some kind of trace behind when I did so. He could use that to track me down, and it would be a mess. He needed to move forward. I didn’t want to hold him back. 

At times like these, it was best to act like the swordsmen in all of the stories and quietly leave. But Rudeus was always going on endlessly about reports, communication, and discussion. I didn’t want him to hate me. 

All right. I would leave something short. Then, surely, Rudeus would understand. 

Rudeus 

G ood morning, everyone! Yes, good morning to all you virgins out there, it’s a great morning! They say it’s only permissible to still be a virgin while you’re in grade school, so how about you guys? Ohh, me? I’m not so great. Ha ha, I’ll soon be thirteen. If we convert that to school years, that means I’m already in middle school. Ha ha! 

Also, hello there to all you non-virgins! From today on, I’m one of you guys! In other words, I’m a “normie” now! I never thought I’d be joining you, but I hope you’ll give me a warm welcome, since I’m just a beginner. Like they say, rich people care about profit and fighting only brings losses, so let’s be friends! 

I’d heard rumors that fleshlights felt even better than a real woman’s body, but they were all lies. Besides, fleshlights were missing various things, like real lips and a tongue. Sight, hearing, touch, taste, smell—there was something about sex that satisfied all five senses. 

There was a saying back in my old world: “Don’t act like you’re her boyfriend just because you’ve had sex one time.” I understood what people meant by that, but—and I’m not really sure how to say this—but when I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her close, she slipped hers around my back and returned the embrace. I could hear her ragged breathing in my ear, and when I looked at her face, our eyes locked. If I kissed around her mouth, she’d stick out her tongue, and it was a flood upstairs and downstairs. 

You just really feel like you belong to each other in that moment. It’s not just physically but mentally fulfilling, I guess? Wanting each other and giving yourself to each other? Those of you with tons more experience are probably thinking, “Don’t get carried away just because you did it once.” But I couldn’t help it. I wanted to act like I was her boyfriend. Eris probably wanted to act like she was my girlfriend, too. 

Whoops, sorry about that. That was probably a bit too stimulating for you virgins out there. How rude of me. Based on my own internal sense of time, I’d been thirsting for forty-seven years, so I was a little excited now that I’d finally gotten what I wanted. Or maybe it was more accurate to say I’d lost what I wanted? 

Long ago, I thought I’d try to keep it cool even if I managed to lose my virginity. Oops! Guess I was wrong. Oh my, it’s already this late? Sorry, I’ve got a date with my girlfriend to have some pillow talk this morning. I’m sure we’ll be getting it on hot and heavy tonight. Maybe we’ll get some afternoon delight, too! 

Come on, Eris, it’s morning! Wake up. If you don’t wake up, I’m going to prank you , I thought playfully. 

Except she wasn’t there. The space in the bed next to me was empty. Well, she did tend to be an early riser, after all. What a shame. So much for the traditional morning pillow talk and subsequent coffee break. 

“Oof!” 

I lifted myself up. There was a pleasant exhaustion in the area around my hips. It was reassurance that what happened last night wasn’t just a dream. A truly delightful sensation. 

I found my pants, but my underwear was missing. Oh well. I just put on my pants without them, and since Eris’ panties were at the side of the bed, I pocketed them. Then I slipped on a jacket and let out a big yawn. 

“Hmm, this is good.” I’d never had a morning this refreshing before. 

Just then, I realized something was strewn about the floor. There was something red scattered everywhere. 

“Huh…?” 

It was hair. Crimson hair that had fallen all over the floor. 

“What the…heck is this…?” I grabbed a strand of hair and tried sniffing it. It was the same scent I’d caught a lot of last night—Eris’ scent. 

“Wha…?” Confused, I looked in front of me and saw a single piece of paper. I grabbed it and read the words scrawled on it. 

The two of us aren’t well-balanced right now. I’m setting off. 

I digested those words carefully. 

One second. Two. Three. 

I flew out the door. 

I looked in Eris’ room. There was no luggage there. I went outside and entered the headquarters, where I found Alphonse. 

“Hey, Mister Alphonse, where’s Eris?!” 

“She set off on a trip with Ghislaine.” 

“Wh-where?!” 

Alphonse regarded me with cold indifference in his eyes. Then, he slowly said, “I was told to keep that a secret from you.” 

“Oh… is that so…?” 

Huh? 

Why? 

I didn’t get it. 

Huh?? 

Why did she break up with me? 

No, she abandoned me? 

She left me behind? 

Huh? 

Family…? 

What?? 

*** 

I spent a whole week sitting around unable to do anything, entirely dumbfounded. Occasionally, Alphonse would come by and nag me about getting a job or something. I didn’t think there was anything left in the Fittoa Region, but small, developing villages were gradually being built just a short distance from the refugee camp. People were even beginning to cultivate wheat. 

Per Alphonse’s instruction, I used earth magic to construct a defensive wall around the camp. The river threatened to flood with its embankment eroded, so I created a levee. Progress was gradual, but the restoration was proceeding. Apparently, earnest efforts at rebuilding would commence after the vast number of people from Millishion finished migrating here. 

Eris chose death for herself. 

The person known as Eris Boreas Greyrat was no more. In her place, there was now simply Eris. Alphonse said her decision was going to cause several complications, so any official announcement of her fate would be postponed a few years. He was probably acting on orders from Darius. Not that I cared. 

Even though Eris was suddenly gone, Alphonse’s facial expression gave no indication it bothered him at all. Half-jokingly, I told him, “It’s a shame Eris got away,” but he just nonchalantly deflected it by saying, “Regardless, I have to work toward the Fittoa Region’s recovery.” 

I needed to ask more questions to get a better handle on the situation. However, with Eris gone, I felt more or less apathetic about things. If the nobles wanted to fight over authority or whatever, they were welcome to do so. 

I thought deeply about why Eris left. I reflected on my words and actions that night. However, no matter how I tried to backtrack, the only thing that stayed in my mind was our lovemaking. It was as if that moment drowned out all other details of that night. 

Maybe I was actually bad at it? I just followed my desires when I took the lead, so maybe she felt disillusioned by how things played out? No, that would be odd. I was the one who went for it, but she was the one who invited me. 

No, that wasn’t it. Her fondness for me had just run out. As I recalled the past three years, I realized our trip was riddled with failures. We got here in the end, but that was largely thanks to Ruijerd. Eris must’ve hated the idea of being followed around by the cause of all those failures for another two years. That was why she’d fulfilled her promise early and said goodbye. 

I had no idea why she acted as if there were a deeper meaning behind her actions, but for the moment, that was the conclusion I came to. In the end, I hadn’t really grown at all. It was no wonder her feelings for me had faded. 

It was then that I suddenly remembered I had another mission of my own. “Ah, that’s right. I need to search for Zenith…” 

And that was how I set out for the northern part of the Central Continent.