Mushoku Tensei (WN) - Volume 8 - Chapter 75

Mushoku Tensei:Web Chapter 75 - Baka-Tsuki 
Good day, this is Rudeus. Ummm, right, so you see, what happened was, you see, the other day Cliff-kun asked me a favour you see. He was in love with Elinalise, and wanted me to introduce him. Right. 
Certainly, Elinalise is my acquaintance. She's my parents' former party member you see. Right. 
Though I don't know much about how romance works in this world, if Cliff is in love, and if he wants my cooperation so that he can make his feelings clear, then I feel that I also want to help him out. 
That's how I feel. That's how I feel, but... 
Let's just recall what kind of a person Elinalise is. 
Elinalise Dragonroad. S-class adventurer. Vanguard. Warrior. Magic University First Year. Age unknown. Unexpectedly diligent in her studies, and has been said to have excellent grades. Has recently been able to incorporate elementary water magic into her battle tactics. Adventurers who accompany her for a long time come to hate her, but she's capable, she's good at taking care of others, and she's good in bed. 
Right, she's good in bed. 
Her body is afflicted with a certain curse. Thus, night after night she has to slurp up men's 'essence'. [1] Thus, she'll never stay with a particular man, and she just repeats one night stands over and over again. I've heard that she's given birth before. She wouldn't tell me what happened to those children. It's possible that she just abandoned them here or there, or sold them into slavery. In reality though, she hardly ever becomes pregnant, so it does seem that she raises them properly until they're independent though. 
Well anyway, I don't know the details. To introduce such a person as the target of someone's love is, is it really a good idea? 
Cliff doesn't know that Elinalise is that kind of person. When I asked him about his impression of Elinalise, I became greatly troubled. Elinalise was an untainted, pure white angel. His reply was along these lines. 
Of course, he's also investigated Elinalise. 

?The Sovereign by the Window. She's extremely famous. Her name is Elinalise Dragonroad. It's a beautiful and valiant name that's worthy of her. Though this is obvious, she's diligent and her grades are said to be good as well. Because she was adventurer until just recently, she's also knowledgeable about the application of magic in real combat.? 

Anyway, I have nothing to say about this except for the Sovereign by the Window thing. The window is probably just where she sticks her butt out after all. However, I don't think that Cliff knows that the sovereign stands by windows to have sex. 

?Still, that rumour that she'll sleep with people without discrimination is no good. It's likely that someone who's jealous of her has been spreading it.? 

Or so Cliff interpreted the most important part. 
The fight the other day was the same. The six men from the other day had heard the rumours about Elinalise. That she would spread her legs to anyone, and that they should have a go with her as well, they said. Hearing this, Cliff became angry. 'Don't look down on others because of rumours', he warned them. Of course the rumours are true, but... 
The six of them were upperclassmen, they had strong physiques, and they were delinquents. Because they were given a warning by Cliff who was not only an underclassman, but also smaller than them, they got a little irritated and retorted with vulgar expressions, 
"Just the other day my kouhai and another man were taken care of by her at the same time. Since you can't see the truth, how about you go have her take care of your first time as well?" 
Cliff was enraged. In a fit of recklessness, he attacked them. Not with magic. With his fists. 
Cliff was supposed to be pretty good at fighting as well. But it was 6 vs 1. Their physiques were different. It would have been better had he used magic, but the moment he used his fists to engage them, he lost all chance of winning. And then, I appeared. 
For the purpose of gathering information, it was a splendid chat that we had. But hmmm. Now what do I do? 
I have no obligations towards Cliff. Even if I introduce him to Elinalise and that illusion of his is smashed to pieces, it's still none of my business. But even so. Even so, can I just push him onto Elinalise without a care? 
Elinalise might be grateful to me. She's generally quite happy about being introduced to men. Lately she's been especially interested in hunting for virgins, and it can't be helped. It's nice when they're innocent and apologetic, and for their first time they put up a strong front. It's nice when, although they were like that in the beginning, after doing it again and again, they start to change. In my previous life, this was something that I'd seen countless times in eroge. That's why it's not like I can't understand her feelings. 
Cliff looks to be a virgin, and Elinalise will probably gladly eat him up. 
But how would Cliff be? He's misunderstanding the type of person that Elinalise is. If he met her for real and started going out with her, he'd probably see how she really is. Wouldn't he be angry at that time? He might end up thinking that it was my fault that he had to go through something horrible. If you ask me it'd be getting his just deserts, but if I introduce him knowing all this, I'll have my small share of responsibility too. 
But on the other hand, I might have no choice but to introduce him. He might come up with some weird suspicions about me if I don't. For example, that I might actually be aiming for Elinalise as well, or something. Were my disease to heal, I might want to try that kind of one night stand with her as well. However, there's no way that I'd be aiming for her. 
What should I do? 

And so, 
"Fitts-senpai, there's something I'd like to discuss with you. Is that okay?" 
After school I went to the library and asked that of Fitts-senpai. 

"What?" 
"It's kind of a a love problem." 
"A love problem!?" 

Fitts-senpai turned his whole body towards me. Almost leaning his whole body in, his mouth turned just a little crooked. 

"R-, Rudeus-kun, you have someone you like!?" 

He's unexpectedly enthusiastic about this. His eyes are sparkling... well, they may or may not be; I can't tell with the glasses on. Fitts-senpai is probably also at an age where he's interested in romance. 

"No, it's about someone I know." 
"Someone you know...?" 
"Yes, someone I know." 
"M-, mn. Continue." 
"This acquaintance has become enamoured with someone at first sight." 
"First sight... And so, by discussing with me... C-, could it be Ariel-sama? I-, if that's the case then it's pointless. There are heaps of people who wanted my help for this but..." 

Fitts-senpai starts to trail off. There are probably lots of people whose gazes were stolen by that princess at first sight. It's natural that as a guard you'd see them all as pests that you'd want to shut out. 

"No, it's someone else. It's not Princess Ariel." 
"I-, I see. Thank goodness." 
"This acquaintance of mine had their gaze stolen by that person. It's someone that I know, if I introduce them as a love interest there's a bit of a problem, you see. I'm hesitant over whether or not to introduce them." 

When I looked at Fitts-senpai by chance, I found that he was making a strange expression. He had his hand to his mouth, and a strong gaze came at me from beneath his sunglasses. 

"Does this acquaintance know about this woman's ?problem??" 
"No, he doesn't." 

...Hm? Did I mention that it was a woman? No, it's probably because we were talking about Princess Ariel that he just went on assuming that it was a woman. Well, since Elinalise is a woman, there's no problem but... Or could it be that he thinks that I'm the "acquaintance"? 

"I'm just saying this to make sure, but this isn't about me, you know. Since it's Fitts-senpai, I'll tell you that it's the Special Student Cliff-senpai." 
"Ah, really? Sorry, I misunderstood." 

Fitts-senpai is scratching behind his ear. Did he really think it was about me? Well, saying stuff like "someone I know" is a cliched way of talking about your own matters after all. 

"Anyway, that's how it is, so what should I do?" 
"Umm, perhaps you should tell them about that ?problem?... or, not, I wonder? Unless of course there's a reason you can't tell him..." 

Fitts-senpai seems to be lacking in confidence a little. Speaking of which, senpai is also a virgin, huh. He might not have much experience in love matters. 

"There's no problem if I tell him, but Cliff-senpai is misunderstanding and he's an intense person, so if I tell him there's a good chance he mightn't believe me. He might even misunderstand and think that I also like that woman." 
"Ah, really that could happen." 
"Yes. That's why I was thinking that perhaps it might be better if he doesn't hear it from me." 

Mn. If I'm the one who says it, he could misunderstand a little. It might be better for Cliff to hear it from another woman that he trusts, or from words around him. ...No, it might be best if he hears it from the person herself, huh? 

"Umm, Rudeus-kun, do you not like her too?" 
"I don't hate her, but I can't see her as a love interest." 

Since I hear that she's really skilled, I would be interested in trying a night with her, though I'd be a little reluctant to date her seriously. I'd immediately be cheated on, after all. 

"So that's how it is... But though you might not be able to see her like that, it might look different to Cliff-kun, huh." 

Right? To a person who sees her as a untainted white angel, he probably doesn't think that anyone can see her any differently but, just who is that? 

"Mmm." 

Should I introduce him? Should I not introduce him? I'm lost. After a while, Fitts-senpai murmured. 

"Umm, I have someone that I like as well, so I can understand his feelings. It'd normally be someone I wouldn't see as a love interest, but I like them even so." 

Someone that Fitts-senpai likes? I wonder who? ...Thinking about it normally, it'd be Princess Ariel, huh? Just now he had that huge reaction as well. Certainly it'd be difficult to see Princess Ariel as a love interest. She's Asura royalty after all, and she's way out of his league. No, it's fine even so. 

"I think it'd be tough only being able to watch them and not confess." 

Fitts-senpai's face is red. He's red all the way up to his ears. 

"That's why, umm, wouldn't it be fine to properly introduce them and give him a chance to confess?" 
"But there might be problems that arise afterwards." 
"That can't be helped. I mean, after you've already introduced them, what happens afterwards is something that's their problem, right?" 

Ohhhh, that's true. What happens after the introduction is their problem. That's certainly true. As long as I make this clear beforehand, it should be fine. 

"I understand. I'll try doing it like that, then. Fitts-senpai, thank you very much." 
"M-, mmn... I'm glad that I, was of, help... 

Fitts-senpai seemed a little unconfident. He's probably thinking something like 'What am I talking all big for when I have no experience?'. However, even without experience, what he said was spot on so there's no problems at all. 
Anyway, I've decided on my approach. 
I'm a bit concerned about Fitts-senpai since he collapsed onto his desk when I left but... it's probably because at his age, acting all big and giving advice is something embarrassing. All I have are thanks for him though. 

The next day, I called out to Cliff. Cliff, whose gazed held a little anticipation. 

"I don't mind introducing you, but there's just something I'd like to say." 
"What is it?" 
"Cliff-senpai. Since I've also formed a party with Elinalise-san before, I know a bit more about her than other people do." 

At 'formed a party', Cliff's eyebrows twitched a little. 

"I won't say anything about her temperament myself. However, that's not because I'm deceiving you. I want you two to meet in person, talk, and then decide for yourself what kind of person she is." 
"What do you mean?" 
"In other words, what happens afterwards, for example 'she's different from what you say' or 'why didn't you say anything' or 'you've really pulled a blind one on me'; I'm saying I don't want to be accused of such things afterwards." 

I'm protecting myself just in case. Then I guard myself. I also didn’t forget to imply that she has some sort of problem. 

"Of course. I'm a devout follow of Milis! I'll pay the proper respects to my matchmaker!" 

Matchmaker? Is that how I'm seen according to the Milis Faith? Since I'm not an adherent of the Milis Faith, I'm not really sure. Ohhh, my Goddess, please guide me! 

"Since I'm not a believer of Milis, afterwards please don't say that I was playing matchmaker or anything, okay?" 
"I won't." 
"However this ends, this isn't my business after all." 

Cliff nods as if this is obvious. 

"I'm prepared to be rejected before anything!" 

I feel that you might experience something more repulsive than just being rejected though. 

Elinalise was in a room by herself. Today she was leaning against a window as well, but today there was nothing like a two-torsoed centaur. She's looking out the window and idling about. I know what she's thinking about: 'Won't it hurry up and turn to night? Once it's night the tavern will open and in there I'll find lots and lots of men.' They're probably those kinds of pink colored thoughts. However, if you looked at her without knowing any better, certainly she might seem like an angel. 

"Ara [2] , Rudeus... Isn't this a rare occasion? For you to come to me." 

When Elinalise notices me, without particularly smiling, she just says that in surprise. Certainly since entering this school, I haven't spoken to her much. At most I'd just drop in at lunchtime on occasion to see how things were. 

"Ara? Who might that be?" 

Cliff hops out from behind me. He then brings his hand to his chest, and his feet together. It might be Milishion etiquette. 

"Elinalise-san, this is Cliff Grimoire. He's a Special Student, and one year above us." 
"As introduced, I am Cliff." [3] 

He then bows where he is. 

"Ara ara, how very courteous of you. I'm Elinalise Dragonroad. And so, what business might Cliff-san have with me?" 
"Nothing in particular; he wanted me to introduce him to you, Elinalise-san, so I brought him along." 
"Yes. I've always seen your beautiful face, Elinalise-san! Please go out with me!" [4] 

A silence befalls us. Elinalise is staring blankly. After a while, she slowly leaves her chair, and grabs a hold of my arm. 

"Hang on." 

Saying this, she brings me to a corner of the room. She then draws near my ear. 

"What is it?" 
"How much do you want?" 

I don't understand what she means, and a few seconds pass by. Could it be that this is a 'how much money do I need to pay to bring this man into my bed?' type of talk? That would be the worst. 

"I don't need money." 
"In that case, what? What's your goal?" 
"No, somehow he likes you, Elinalise-san." 
"You're lying... Rudeus, you know what kind of person I am, right? To bring such an easily fooled boy like that to me... Please have some shame." 

Having some shame or whatever... I feel like I'm being told this by the number one shameless person. Well, it's fine but... 

"I didn't deceive him or do anything else; all I said was that I'd introduce him to you." 
"Is that true?" 
"I don't have any ulterior motives. If it pleases you, I'll even swear on Roxy-sensei." 

I said that, and after she thought for a while, her eyebrows raised into a ?. 

"Even if you're telling the truth, Rudeus, I'm a little troubled by such a serious kid." 

Troubled? That's unexpected. I had thought that since it was Elinalise, she'd happily say "Since it's like that, I'll bring him to an inn". 

"You're aware that I'm cursed, right? I can't date a single person, you know." 

She can't date a single person. As a result, she'll never get serious and continue to have monetary or playful relationships with an indefinite number of men. I feel that I've heard this before. Well, it seems that even she's thinking. Since it's like this, then I guess dating is impossible huh. 

"There's no helping it then. Please reject him cleanly." 
"Is that fine? Won't it throw mud all over your name, Rudeus?" 
"That's not a problem." 

It's not really that big a deal in the first place. It is 'quagmire' after all, and I also have no need to sell my name anymore. 

"But please try your best to explain to him the truth. That it's not because I secretly want to date you or anything." 
"I understand already." 

Alright. 
Our little conference ends and Elinalise walks over to face Cliff. She's taller than him. Cliff is small. The more I look at it, the more unbalanced they look. However, people's bodies being mismatching has nothing to do with the heart. Thinking that, it somehow becomes a rather depressing situation. 

"Rudeus, people's romance isn't something you should be peeking at." 
"Ah, that's true. In that case I take my leave." 

I leave at Elinalise's words. I feel a bit sorry for Cliff. However, this is likely the best result. There's also the issue about the curse, but Elinalise is a lascivious woman to begin with. On the other hand, Cliff is an earnest honours student. It's like water and oil. 

"Rudeus... Umm, thank you!" 

Cliff's words rang out behind me. My chest hurt. 
After that, about a week passed. 
It was our once-a-month homeroom. There, sat an openly flirting couple. A tall woman was sitting on a man's lap, and they were flirting away. 

"It's easy to remember how to create the melded magic phenomena. Even if you can't use two magic, you can use things that occur in nature to achieve the same effect." 
"As expected of Cliff; you're so knowledgeable." 
"It's not a big deal." 

Both of them were people I know; they were Cliff and Elinalise. I slowly approached them and my head tilted a little. 

"Mn? Rudeus! Thanks for the other day!" 

Cliff made to stand up and thank me, but because there was a woman sitting on his lap, he sat in place and bowed. 

"You're welcome... Elinalise-san, what's going on?" 

Sitting on his lap, Elinalise smiled gently. 

"We're going out now." 

Huuuuuh? Why? Seriously, why? [5] Isn't this different to what she said? 

"Umm, isn't this different to what you said?" 
"Rudeus, in the face of such a manly proposal, even my heart would skip a beat, you know." 

Propose? No matter what the case is, isn't that too fast? 

"Stop it, it's embarrassing." 
"?I'll definitely save you from your curse, so please marry me!?" 
"O-, oi!" 
"And then at the inn, Cliff's innocent... aahh! I feel like I'm going to 'come' just from remembering it." 
"S-, stop it I said. There are people here." 

Cliff's face was bright red. Though he said to stop it, he didn't seem that unhappy. First of all, congratulations on your graduation. I'm not really annoyed about this; is it because I've already thrown 'that' away as well? Or could it be that it's because I know what Elinalise is really like? 
Still... It seems he's heard about the curse. It doesn't seem like Elinalise plans on stopping her numerous liaisons with random men, after all. Her reason for not being able to date just a single person is also valid. It's the truth after all. So why? Cliff heard about it. Eh? Propose? 

"From now on, I'm going to try my best to endure for Cliff." 
"I-, I said you didn't really need to. It's a curse, so there's no helping it, so a-, as long as your heart belongs just to me, then..." 
"Cliff... Of course. For everyone else it's just body... but with you I'll give both my body and my heart." 

Cliff gently brushes the hair of the enraptured Elinalise. Their gazes meet. Because she's sitting on his lap, their faces are close. 

"Elinalise..." 
"Cliff..." 

Then it leads to a kiss. 
After that, they begin to flirt as though I'm not there. Boldly flirting, and flirting out in the open. Is that okay, Cliff? Is that really okay? Though this woman may be saying some admirable things, you'll be treated like a doormat you know? Aren't you just being blinded by love? 

"..." 

As I'm about to say that, I firmly endure it. We'd agreed that after I introduced them, there'd be no complaints no matter the outcome. I feel that it'll be weird if I'm the one who says something. 
I look towards the back of the classroom. The three of them didn't seem to care. Pursena is chewing on dried meat, and Zanoba is talking to Julie about a doll he spotted in the markets the other day. Julie's eyes are full of seriousness and doesn't register the idiot lovebirds. 
Only Rinia was sulking, like she'd say "urgh" at any moment. 

"Boss, what's up with that woman nya? When I say something sarcastic she replies pretty intensely nya." 
"I don't really get it either." 

It's weird. While thinking that, I sort things out in my head. 
The other day when I left them, she said was going to completely reject him. Then after that, the talk should have gone in that direction as well. So as to avoid future troubles, she probably tried to get him to give up by telling him all about the curse and the like, as well as the fact that the rumours were the truth. 
However, it seems she was proposed to. 'I'll cure you, so please marry me'. It seems that she gave in after being told something like that. I have absolutely no idea how after hearing all that, Cliff ended up at such a thought. 
However, I consider it for a bit. If I were in Elinalise's position, how would things have gone? 'I'll definitely cure you of your illness, so please marry me'; if I were told that straight to my face, then... 
I might fall in love. Violently so. 
Though I wouldn’t know if they'd be able to heal the thing that I've been worried about, they'd earnestly give it their all. I don't know just how much Elinalise is troubled by this curse. No matter how much she like doing those things, there's probably no way that she isn't worried about it at all. She might... fall in love? 
No, I shouldn't just talk about Elinalise. Cliff tried his best. He showed his manliness and softened Elinalise. 

"Boss, I've thought of a good idea nya." 
"What is it?" 
"Let's go out and get them back, nya." 

So Rinia suggested. At any rate, it's probably a temporary arrangement. Still, I want to experiment now. 

"Rinia-senpai. I don't mind going out, but I'm actually impotent. Will you put in effort to heal me if we go out?" 
"Eh?" 

At those words, everyone besides Elinalise suddenly muttered "Eh?". Their gazes gather on me. It's like they're wondering 'Just what is this guy saying?' or something like that. What, is it that weird if Rinia and I go out together? 
Or so I was wondering, when Rinia became flustered. 

"Bo-, Bo-, Boss, c-, could it be that you heard what we said the other day nya?" 
"The other day?" 
"That although you had confined the super attractive us, and you touched and stripped us, you didn't mate with us, so you might be floppy dicked... the stuff we were saying at lunchtime nya." 

The hell? This is the first time I'm hearing this. When I was thinking this, I looked at Pursena and she quickly averted her eyes. 

"T-, that's wrong. We weren't speaking badly of you. Like, it's just that on that day when you touched me your scent was weak, so like, I was wondering if perhaps that was the case, that's all..." 

At Pursena's words, all of the gazes on me turned to some like pity. They were gazes of sympathy. 
Still, it wasn't the dating stuff that they were shocked about, but the impotence huh? Though I had hidden it, was it really that strange? 

"Like, we weren't spreading rumours about you or anything. The only one who used the words 'floppy dicked' was Rinia. She's totally, like, fuck." 
"But Pursena was the one who said that you were harmless since you touched us but didn't attack us nya." 
"I was like, praising him." 
"Nya!?" 

Giving a sidelong glance at the two who began a Manzai routine, I sat down. 

"Well, it's fine anyway. It's not something that'll trouble me if known, after all." 
"R-, right nya. It's not like we'll be prejudiced against Boss because you're impotent or anything, nya." 
"That's right. Like, whether it's an impotent Boss, or a normal Boss, Boss is Boss." 

Impotent, impotent, stop freaking repeating it. It hurts, you know. Should I have kept it hidden after all? 

"Shishou, do not worry about it. Let us live for dolls." 

Zanoba said that and patted me on the shoulder. Julie tilts her head. 

"Master, what is 'impotence'?" 
"Mmm, it's when you cannot fulfill your duties as a man... Should I put it like that...? Even so, it's basically something unrelated to doll making." 
"Hmmm." 

Zanoba might have been trying to console me. I understand keenly that he picked his words carefully. 

"Boss, I had thought that you were thinking about nothing but perverted things all day, but you were actually desperately trying to cure yourself nya... It's moving nya..." 
"If there seems like something I can do, I'll cooperate. Like, only if you give me meat, though..." 

Their sympathy feels a bit forced. How do you say it? It feels kind of different. I'm not going to fall in love with them or anything because of these words. 

"Rudeus. Technically I've also undergone training for listening to the confessions of our believers. Though it's been said that I don't have much skill in it, I can at least do something like think about the problem together. If anything happens, I can give you some counsel." 

Cliff-san's words were sincere and warm. I kind of understood Elinalise's feelings a little. No, I'm not a homo so I won't fall in love or anything, you know. 

------ 

And like that, Cliff and Elinalise ended up going out. Honestly, I think that it'll be impossible for that Elinalise to continue enduring this. I absolutely don't think that Cliff will be able to endure Elinalise sleeping with other men, either. Though it's fine, eventually this relationship will completely collapse... Though I thought this, I didn't voice it. 
And my sickness became something well know to those of the Special Class. Though I took a little damage, everyone did technically say that they'd cooperate. 
Have I finally taken the first step...? 
I want to hurry up and get better so I can flirt about with someone too. 

------ 

-Supplement- 
Cliff was under the impression that because of her curse, Elinalise was forced to have sex contrary to her desires, and courageously, so that no one would be able to tell, she acted the part of a slut; he was ?convinced? that she was a tragic heroine.