My Daoist Life - Chapter 33

Chapter 33 – Disciples Are Raised Only For A Moment Of Crisis

I caught hold of Huang Shulang, who was preparing to flee. No matter what was said, I must have a scapegoat. Such a great meat shield, why would I give it up in vain. Disciples were raised only for a moment of crisis.

“Your conduct still doesn’t have even a bit of ideal?” I asked earnestly.

“Master, ah. I don’t want ideals to turn into final wishes of the departed, ah?” Huang Shulang scowled miserably. This fellow really adapts to his surroundings nicely. During this time, staying close to me, he had raised his IQ by a lot, making me feel my IQ fall short somewhat.

“Forget it. Anyways you really have Lord Ye’s passion for dragons, and you still think of becoming a martial arts expert. At that time, I said nothing. However, I can tell you this clearly now, since you do not have ideals, from now on, do not call me Master. The tie between us of a Master and Apprentice is already over. Later, you just go home, eat lots of fattened up animals raised by you, and live out the rest of your life. I, your Master, will become a cultivator, going against the heavens and the currents of fate.” I waved my hand and then, without even turning my head, went straight home.
[TLNote: Idiom: “Lord Ye’s passion for dragons” ]

This fatty really does have masochistic tendencies, and hearing me say this, his expression changed immediately, as he promptly came chasing after me: “Master, the words spoken by you are crystal clear. Although I am a timid man, I want to say something straight from my heart. I still want to become a martial arts master. Growing up, I have come to understand that the maximum that I can receive is my father’s business of butchering pigs. I reckon that marrying a woman wouldn’t be difficult, but if I wanted to marry someone who is as pretty as a model, then it would be a bit troublesome. Therefore, from childhood, I had a dream: to grow up and become a martial arts expert, and to take, as wife, a woman as pretty as Ren Yingying.
[TLNote: (1) When Fatty talks about not having difficulty marrying a woman, he uses a derogatory term suited more to ‘older ladies’ but are still referred to as women. (2) Ren Yingying is daughter of Ren Woxing from Smiling, Proud Wanderer a Jin Yong novel ]

I laughed; such a fatty still thought of wanting to marry Ren Yingying. However, I didn’t turn my head and continued to walk home. In any case, Fatty’s curiosity had already been provoked. If I were to take notice of him too early, then it wouldn’t be good as this fellow might also renege.

I sped up my footsteps. Fatty chased after me, puffing and blowing: “Master, Master, how are you walking so fast? You tell me, what is this cultivation?”

I stopped at this moment, “Do you really want to know?”

“Yes.” Huang Shulang forcefully nodded his head.

“Good, it seems like unless I show off my abilities, you would still doubt your Master’s abilities.” I conveniently condensed my primordial qi into a seal script water character, and straight up activated it atop Huang Shulang’s head.

“Hua la!” (Sound of water falling)

“Ah! It’s raining!” Huang Shulang was drenched like a drowned rat as he ran very fast. As he turned his head up to look, a scorching sun shined over his head. Huang Shulang immediately felt a cold wind blow through his body.

“Ghosts, Master, there are ghosts!” Huang Shulang was trembling from head to toe.

I was indeed somewhat worried. If I really took this fellow along, then when the time comes, not only would he not be a good meat shield, rather, wouldn’t he be a great burden?

I waved my hand, and very elegantly, activated a primordial qi 风 (Wind) character. A strong gust of wind began to blow directly into Huang Shulang. Luckily, Huang Shulang’s figure was quite huge, so although the wind was strong, it couldn’t blow away Huang Shulang. However, Huang Shulang was unable to open his eyes due to the wind blowing. As the wind stopped, it was just in time as the water had cleaned Huang Shulang’s body. After all, this was water transformed from primordial qi, it was quite different from ordinary water.

“Yi?” Even if Huang Shulang was stupid, he knew that something was fishy. He looked left and right, then after pondering for a while, he said, “Master, the villagers have earlier said that you were a ghost of bad omen. So it turns out, you really are a ghost.”

“Ah!” Very quickly, Huang Shulang let out a miserable shriek; he had been sent flying back tens of feet from my kick. Soaring into the sky, before falling heavily down onto the ground. Also fortunately, during this time, Huang Shulang had undergone my devilish training regime, otherwise with this fall, this fatty would have been turned into a giant meat patty.

“Huang Shulang, you dare to speak to your Master like this. Are you tired of living?” I asked as I walked towards Huang Shulang.

“No, no. Master, didn’t you tell it to me clearly just now? Are you really a cultivator?” Huang Shulang asked.

“Didn’t you get a taste just now? If you want to speak one more time, I can benevolently satisfy your desire.” I laughed as I looked maliciously at Huang Shulang.

“Eh, no need, no need. I have already gotten a taste. Master, you are saying that if I go to Ba Jiao Mountain’s main peak with you, then I would also be able to learn that kind of magic you displayed a moment ago from you?” Huang Shulang asked.

“This I cannot guarantee, to learn Daoist techniques requires natural aptitude. If your natural aptitude is too bad, then there’s just no hope. However, even if you are not able to learn Daoist techniques, it would still be very easy to become a martial arts expert.” A smile broke out on my face. Fatty was thinking of extricating himself from my devilish grip? Eh, he should be in the middle of my palm, definitely not so easy.

Therefore, Huang Shulang began to get anxious, and in this anxious state, began using his brain to calculate the pros and cons. Probably even after a long time, he couldn’t figure out whether the advantages outweighed the shortcomings, or the shortcomings outweighed the advantages, so he could only give up, “Master, I’ll go explore along with you; you will give me some life-saving objects right? Such as a magic weapon, spirit artifact, etc.”

“In your dreams. These magic weapons and spirit artifacts, Master also doesn’t have any. I, at most, can give you a hoe. You can also use it as a shoulder pole.” I angrily kicked at Huang Shulang. [TLNote: But is that a big-booty hoe, doe?]

If I were to ask him, he would behave like an apprentice, but he didn’t have even the slightest bit of the ideological consciousness of an apprentice.

“Master, why do I always get beaten?” Huang Shulang wanted to cry because of the pain.

“What would you know? The strictest teacher has the most outstanding disciple.” I said in all seriousness.

Regarding this matter, secrecy was of the utmost importance. I used the later half of the journey, all along repeatedly telling Huang Shulang that he must not divulge this secret; otherwise, he would be put into place according to our Sect rules.

“Master, what are the contents of our Sect’s rules?” Huang Shulang, after being lectured by me quite a few times, he asked puzzledly.

“Our Sect rules are that, when we both have the same opinion, then you must listen to me. When we both have differing opinions, then you also must listen to me.” I said after carefully thinking for a while.

“Then when would I be listened to?” Huang Shulang said while feeling wronged.

“En, this issue is very simple. You are the Eldest Apprentice; when I am not there, you are the Eldest.” I gave Huang Shulang some taste of power.

“Master, when will you accept another apprentice?” Huang Shulang asked.

“If I were to take in Li Lijuan, do you think that she would be able to listen to what you say?” I said while laughing.

“That is definitely impossible. That girl is too fierce. Very strong. I definitely can’t defeat her. You mustn’t, under any condition, let her study martial arts. I cannot defeat her, when she hasn’t learn martial arts. If she were to study martial arts, then I would have to suffer her bullying for this entire life of mine.” Huang Shulang couldn’t see even the slightest bit of hope.

“Relax, you are the eldest martial apprentice, I will later teach you the fiercest martial arts.” I suddenly recalled the most crucial matter, “Are you ready to go or not?”

“Master, I still need to think.” Huang Shulang, this time, very quickly ran back home.

In any case, if he doesn’t arrive on the weekend, I also wouldn’t be anxious. This Huang Shulang fellow, I wasn’t the slightest bit worried. Unable to pass even a single day, he came running over on his own.

“I am prepared to go along with you.” Huang Shulang came running to my side.

“Ok, this is like my good apprentice, ah.” I patted Huang Shulang’s shoulders.

“Master, from the treasures that we would bring back, how many would be in my share?” Huang Shulang came to me and whispered in my ears.

“Ah!” Huang Shulang again flew out.

“I very laboriously taught you martial arts, but you still don’t have any filial piety, and you even feel that you have the right to say this to me!” I was indeed very angry. What thoughts did he have, saying this to me?

“You two rotten brats whispering to each other here, what are you talking about?” Teacher Lin had finally discovered that as of late, Huang Shulang and I had been frequently talking in whispers. She definitely knew that we were up to something, but didn’t think that my courage was so unexpectedly huge as to dare to plan to go to Ba Jiao Mountain’s main peak to explore.

“Nothing, we were just discussing who would be the leader when we go to the mountains to pick mushrooms this weekend.” I immediately came up with an excuse.

“Were you? Picking mushrooms is such an interesting thing. Why didn’t you call me?” Teacher Lin’s eyes flashed, immediately making me regret not coming up with a better excuse.

“Grandpa doesn’t allow us to go far up the Ba Jiao Mountain’s main peak, we can only go a bit of the way. Walking in the mountain is going to be very exhausting.” I had no choice but to spout even more lies to cover my lie, and also to dispel Teacher Lin’s thoughts.

Hearing this, Teacher Lin’s eyebrows became erect, like willow leaves, and knocking two chestnuts directly on my head: “Rotten brat, you think that Teacher Lin cannot compare to you brats?”