Chapter 7 – The Unexpected Guest
“You? Cook?” Zhang Shaoyu regarded Lizz suspiciously. No matter in what media, be it anime, light novels, or manga, Lizz was the kind of girl who must not ever be allowed near an open flame. If they did, it would be very possible for Doomsday to descend upon mankind.
Zhang Shaoyu trembled in fear as he imagined the chaos. He tried to persuade her, “No you can’t… You’re my guest. How could I trouble my guest?”
“No worries, no worries! From where I came from, people always say that my cooking is very unique !” said Lizz as she shook her head. The way she talked was as if she was trying to say, “If you don’t let me cook, I will curse you to be a virgin for your entire life.”
Zhang Shaoyu, who got a little scared from Lizz’s stare, thought: Those novel writers must just be joking, right? This girl’s from the outskirts. She should be able to cook well, right?
Finally, Zhang Shaoyu relented and told her, “Come with me,” leading her to the kitchen. Because of the earlier elevator incident, Zhang Shaoyu knew that Lizz was completely oblivious to modern technology, and so he briefly explained how to use the microwave, refrigerator and the stoves.
The restless Lizz couldn’t help but to lose her patience listening to all his explanations. From her point of view, she was the one who prepared her own meals every day in her Church, so why the heck would she need someone to teach her how to cook?
Finally, Lizz got fed up and pushed Zhang Shaoyu out of the kitchen, “Okay, okay, I get it already, you can get out now,” and slammed the kitchen door close with a ‘bang’. She also shouted from inside the inside, “You wait until I’m finished, absolutely no peeking! (1)”
Zhang Shaoyu laughed in his mind: It’s almost as if she was taking a shower. She even closed the door. Maybe she cooks with no clothes on?
With a sigh, Zhang Shaoyu glanced at the clock on the wall. It was already two in the afternoon. He didn’t expect time to fly by so fast. It was almost time for the afternoon lessons to start. Thinking about the incident that happened that morning, he decided to just skip the afternoon lessons too.
He lay down on the sofa and relaxed while muttering to himself, “Let the me of tomorrow deal with whatever happens.” However, he didn’t seem to realize that the him of tomorrow was still him.
With absolutely nothing to do, Zhang Shaoyu turned the TV on and watched some dramas for a while when someone suddenly knocked on the door. Soon after, a middle-aged man’s voice rang out, “Anyone there?”
“Who is it?” Zhang Shaoyu turned off the TV and went to the door. He opened it and in front of him was a man wearing a western suit and glasses. With his skinny and rugged profile, if not because of the suit he wore, Zhang Shaoyu would have believed that he was just some beggar.
Behind him was a girl wearing a white miniskirt and high heels, which did a good job showing off her sexy white thighs. She had heavy makeup that made her look somewhat pretty, but who knows what was behind the makeup.
They walked inside without care. The woman looked extremely stunning and the man, who still looked like a beggar, was constantly stealing lewd glanced at her.
With the two people who just walked by him treating him as if he was transparent, Zhang Shaoyu got annoyed and started ranting, “Oi! What’re you doing entering my house just like that! You guys thieves or what?”
But the two continued ignoring Zhang Shaoyu. The woman walked to the balcony to take a look before going back into the room, and said with a disdainful expression, “Chen Dawei, are you messing with me?” while approaching the guy.
The so-called beggar grinned twistedly and put his hands on the woman’s waist, “Nana, what are you talking about? This suite is the best in the building, not too high, not too low. I got a feng shui master to look at this place and he said that this place is the best of the best!
Zhang Shaoyu thought for a bit: Even after living here for over ten years. I have never heard of anything like this before. Who knew my house could bring such good fortune!
However, the woman looked reluctant and freed herself from the man’s embrace, “Come on! Don’t lie to me! This place won’t even be good enough for pigs, how could someone live here! I want to live in a place like Jinbi garden(2)!”
The moment Zhang Shaoyu heard the two indirectly insulting him to be a pig, his anger rose.Not only do these people treat me as if I was non-existent, they even want to talk shit about me?! I can’t let them just do what they want anymore, this has gone too far!
Zhang Shaoyu eyes lit up in anger, and he shouted, “Fucking bitch! What did you say!? This house isn’t even yours, so why the fuck are you talking crap about it! You people are not welcome here, so get the fuck out!”
It was then when the both of them felt Zhang Shaoyu’s bloodlust and finally turned to face him.
Actually, Chen Dawei was the owner of the apartment Zhang Shaoyu lived in. He had quite a lot of money and was a pervert by nature, and thus, tended to look for girls without his wife knowing. His standard procedure was to take the women to the building, letting them choose any unit they liked so that he could visit them under the pretense of checking the units. And this time, they came to Zhang Shaoyu’s place, wanting to hide her here.
Since Chen Dawei was a wealthy person, he originally thought that Zhang Shaoyu was just an ordinary poor student who’s still wet behind the ears. He held absolutely no regard for him, thus regarding him as invisible.
But he was quite surprised when he realized the reality of the situation. Who would have guessed that this youngster would be so full of fighting spirit? Gone was the image of the weak bookworm, which was instead replaced by the image of a war general.
Both of them were intimidated by Zhang Shaoyu’s figure. Even Chen Dawei felt inferior when he saw Zhang Shaoyu. But how could he lose face before his lover? He’s was a millionaire, after all. How could he be afraid of some poor student?
And so, Chen Dawei started to find something to nitpick about, “Nana was right, this place really isn’t anything to look at, and it’s so shabby!”
Zhang Shaoyu unhappily retorted, “Hey fuckers! If it’s so damn shabby, what are you still here for?”
Chen Dawai’s hatred for Zhang Shaoyu rose yet another level. But he was a man with a lot of experience. He would demonstrate to him the difference between a poor student and a rich man. He approached Zhang Shaoyu and rolled up his sleeves, showing Zhang Shaoyu his golden watch, bragging, “Boy, you know what this watch is? This is the number one watch in the world, the Patek Phillipe’s(3). There’s only fifty of them in this world. And I have one of it, don’t you think it’s beautiful?”
Zhang Shaoyu didn’t even glance at him, taking a slight step back, signaling: I don’t want to talk to you.
However, Chen Dawei mistook the action for Zhang Shaoyu’s fear. He suddenly felt much more courageous and took a step forward. He proudly took out his black leather wallet, and from it, he took out two one hundred dollar bills and handed it to Zhang Shaoyu, “Hey, boy! It seems like you are quite the poor one. Here, take this and go buy some food. Consider it charity.”
Zhang Shaoyu got even more pissed off. Giving me money? He thinks I’m a beggar? This fucker! This damned guy is really outrageous!
Zhang Shaoyu pushed the money back and said coldly, “I don’t need it!” After saying this, Zhang Shaoyu somehow got reminded of Mr. X and started comparing this man to Mr. X. He began to think: I wonder if this man got his ass pierced, would he still be so proud of himself? Zhang Shaoyu couldn’t help but to smile a little at the thought.
Just as Chen Dawei was about to get angry after his money got refused, he saw Zhang Shaoyu’s smile, which he interpreted as Shaoyu being ‘moved’. He felt even prouder than ever and even started thinking of himself as Guanyin, dispersing aid to all four corners of the world. Though this was probably the first time anyone ever related such a beggar-looking face with the great deity Guanyin.
Chen Dawei started getting addicted to the feeling he got from showing off. He put the two hundred dollars on the table before waving at the woman, signaling her to come over.
The woman answered coquettishly, “What is it?” and wiggled into Chen Dawei’s embrace.
Chen Dawei laughed while embracing the woman’s waist, kissing the air in front of the woman’s lips, as the girl laughed seductively, almost as if the girl was someone he had just picked up from the street.
Chen Dawei soon released the woman and straightened his posture before facing Zhang Shaoyu once again, “Nana was the runner up of our city’s beauty contest and she’s now a model…Boy, you know, the moment I saw Nana, I felt like she was the perfect match for me, only a king would be worthy such a beauty!”
Zhang Shaoyu sneered in his mind: So what, won’t that just make you the king of pigs? More than any king or god, you’re probably more like Zhu Bajie(4)!
Chen Dawei became even more boastful as his nose grazed the ceiling(5), and he continued waxing, “You see, young one. I’ll tell you something. Nowadays, you have to work hard. Without money and power, no woman would even spare a second glance for you, aren’t I right?”
Zhang Shaoyu was getting tired of this man’s bull and was just going about show his two ‘guests’ out when suddenly, the kitchen door opened. Lizz stuck out her head from the kitchen and looked curiously at the people inside the room, winking at Shaoyu and asking, “Ah, Shaoyu, we have guests?” Her graceful tone seemed to suggest that she was a wife calling for her dear husband.
Looking at Lizz’s extraordinary beautiful face, Chen Dawei, who was just about to continue his boasting, was left completely dumbfounded. He repeatedly shifted his line of sight between Lizz and Zhang Shaoyu, with not a single word escaping his wide-open mouth .
TRANSLATOR’S NOTES :
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