Chapter 11 — Who Even Wants Fanservice Like This?!
“You’re going to be a hero, Ragna? Are you joking?” Ragna’s father, Rask, shouted. There was certainly anger in his voice, but it was hard to say whether he was actually upset or not. That was just the way he spoke.
“Yes, well, his current class is Villager, and it is quite common for those like villagers and peasants to suddenly change classes and become heroes,” Hanakawa mumbled.
“The hell is a ‘class’? You making fun of me?”
Ragna felt a bit discouraged. He was planning to leave the village and embark on an adventure, just like in the old stories. They were there to ask for Rask’s permission, but Hanakawa was acting rather weak.
At the moment, they were in Ragna’s house, with Ragna and Hanakawa sitting across the table from Rask.
“And anyway, how do you expect Ragna, who can barely hunt a lizard, to make it as a hero? Talk to me when he can catch a deer or a rabbit.”
“Uhh, are deer and rabbits some sort of euphemism?”
“A deer is a deer, a rabbit is a rabbit!” Rask shouted angrily, causing Hanakawa to recoil.
One might have expected Ragna to be able to hunt ordinary woodland animals like deer and rabbits without much difficulty, but without permission, he couldn’t enter the deeper parts of the forest where they lived.
“Err, actually, I have the ability to gauge the strength of others, and Sir Ragna here is quite powerful in my estimation. Even the class of Hero may not be good enough for him.”
Hanakawa was clearly afraid of Rask. Ragna could well understand his feelings. His father’s face was scary, he was always overbearing in his speech, and he was built quite large, giving him an overwhelming presence.
But that was a problem. If Ragna said himself that he wanted to leave the village, his father would dismiss him. He needed the help of a third party, someone who could persuade Rask.
Ragna had been wanting to leave the village for a long time, but he could never up and leave on a whim. Unless he took advantage of a chance like this, he might never be able to leave. At this rate, he would grow old and die in the village without accomplishing anything. That tedious future, spending every day like the last, should have been enough to snuff out what little adventurous spirit he might have tried to kindle.
But then he had arrived. He’d said that Ragna was the hero of a prophecy and invited him to go on a journey to save the world.
“What? How is this fool strong? If you can tell how strong people are, try checking me out.”
“All right, then. Level 72,000. Honestly, what is going on with the people in this village?”
Perhaps because of his anger, something like steam started pouring from Rask’s body. “Looks like you can tell that I’m much stronger. What’s some dumb brat who’s weaker than me going to do for you?!”
Ragna had wondered the same thing. Why him? There were plenty of stronger people in the village. If you were going to invite someone to go on an adventure, there were many others who would be more helpful. And it was already strange for someone to be looking for a hero in a remote, boring village like theirs.
“Well, you see, how do I put it? Ah! Future prospects and potential for growth! That’s why he was chosen, I guess? That’s how it seems to me...” It was clear that Hanakawa didn’t believe what he was saying. It sounded like nothing more than a half-hearted excuse.
“Do you really think he has any of that? If you want someone with potential, why not Joni from across the river? He’s younger than Ragna but better at hunting.”
“Err, well, Ragna has a cuter face...I guess?”
“You’re making fun of me because I’m just some country bumpkin, aren’t you?! I’m not buying any of this! Ragna, you’re a fool for letting yourself be talked up by this guy! There’s no way you’re leaving the village!”
Ragna turned a bitter expression towards Hanakawa. These nonsensical excuses would never convince his father.
Unexpectedly buckling under the pressure, Hanakawa continued to mutter his displeasure. “Ugh... I never thought I’d have to put up with this blunt abuse from such a scary-looking man. I’d much prefer it came from a female drill sergeant or something...”
But Rask had already been turned off by the idea. At this point, there was no hope of him changing his mind regardless of what they did.
Is my adventure really going to end here? Before it has even started?
“We need Ragna’s power to save the world, Father.”
As Ragna felt himself sinking into despair, a woman’s voice called out. At some point, Rei Kushima had stepped into the room.
“What?! Who the hell are you?!” Rask shouted.
Paying his blustering no mind, Rei stepped up and put a hand on his shoulder. The moment she did, his attitude changed completely.
“The world, huh? In that case...I guess we have no choice. But why my son?”
“Because of the prophecy. It was predicted that Ragna would be the one to save the world.”
“A prophecy, huh? Well, in that case, it must be true. I guess you have no choice but to go...”
“That’s right.” She turned to Ragna. “So now that we have your father’s permission, shall we go?”
“Huh?” Ragna was baffled by the sudden change. Despite the previous outburst, his father’s opinion had drastically changed in an instant.
Still, in spite of the strangeness of it, the moment Rei took his arm, he didn’t care anymore. He could leave the village with a smile on his face and a big wave back, so he felt that such minor details were unimportant.
“If you can convince him that easily, why did you have me struggle so hard to do it on my own?” Hanakawa whined.
“Because it was funny?” Rei replied. “Oh, don’t worry about it, Ragna. This was all training to help Hanakawa cultivate his spirit.”
“Oh, okay. You did well, then, facing off against someone like my father.”
Rei pulled Ragna out of the house. Akinobu Marufuji and Shigehito Mitadera were waiting outside.
“We got permission. Okay, let’s head to the old Demon Lord’s castle, then to the island nation of Ent in the east. We’ll be counting on you, Leader,” Shigehito said, patting Ragna on the shoulder.
“Wait, I’m the leader?”
“That’s right. We’re all relying on you,” Akinobu agreed. It seemed they had previously agreed that Ragna would lead their party.
The sudden responsibility was too much for him. But the moment he started to doubt himself, Rei’s words made him feel like maybe he could do it after all.
“We need you to lead us. But don’t worry, we’ll all be here to support you.”
“All right. By the way, what are we doing in the Demon Lord’s castle and Ent?”
“We’re collecting materials to make the hero’s sword,” Shigehito said. “You’re okay for now, but at some point a normal sword won’t be able to bear your strength anymore. We need to make a new one—one designed specially for you.”
“A sword...just for me...”
A special weapon to be held by a hero. Those words were more than enough to fan the flames of his adventurous spirit and set his heart ablaze.
At the old Demon Lord’s castle, the group acquired a material known as soulsteel. After that, they traveled to the east end of the continent where they boarded a boat, and after a few days they reached a port town in the country of Ent.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have fled back then. If I stayed with Yogiri, I might have gotten to hear all the girls chatting in a hot spring or something. And if circumstances permitted, I might have had the privilege of being a lucky pervert!”
In a room at the inn in the port town, Hanakawa was moaning as he curled up in the corner.
“You’re being annoying again, piggy,” Akinobu Marufuji said as he stepped into the room, already tired of Hanakawa’s behavior. No matter how many times he hurt Hanakawa, the guy never seemed to learn his lesson.
“M-My apologies!”
“We’re about to have a strategy meeting. Come on.”
“Huh? Is a swine like me permitted to join such an event?”
“How come even when you’re being self-deprecating, it feels like you’re making fun of me? Whatever. We have Ragna to think about, so we can’t just leave you out. You are technically one of our party members.”
“Ah, so that’s how it is. In that case, I will gladly accept your invitation.”
Hanakawa had ultimately returned to his characteristic pattern of speech. His party members had given up on trying to change that about him, as if it was too much trouble to keep complaining about it.
Following Akinobu, Hanakawa joined the table. He, Shigehito, Akinobu, Rei, and Ragna made up the party of five.
“So we’ve reached Ent, the country in the east,” Ragna said. “What should we do now?”
In spite of being their “leader,” he had no idea what they were doing there. He was simply following Akinobu and the others.
“Well, as long as you follow my predictions, everything will go fine,” Shigehito, the Master Oracle, said as he put a book on the table.
“What is that? It just looks like a strategy guide for some game,” Hanakawa remarked.
“That’s pretty accurate. It’s like a strategy guide for this world.”
“But to what end? I am unaware of your objective in this world in the first place...”
“If we don’t do something about the Sages, we don’t have a future. You know that the evil Sages are just doing whatever they like with this world, right, Ragna?”
“Are they? I heard they were protecting it.”
“That’s right,” Rei said, clinging to Ragna in a way that emphasized her chest. “Ragna will defeat the evil Sages and save the world.”
“All right, I understand. If I defeat the Sages, the world will be at peace!”
Okay, he is clearly being manipulated! Hanakawa declared silently. Rei’s class was Femme Fatale. Her Gift gave her the ability to ensnare and lead men astray.
“I would think we could just ignore the Sages,” Hanakawa continued out loud. “The three of you have incredible abilities, don’t you? Why don’t you just live however you see fit?”
“That won’t work,” Shigehito said, pushing the strategy guide towards him, inviting Hanakawa to read it himself.
To defeat the Sages, you need the World Sword Omega Blade! Your main objective in Ent is to obtain the World Sword...but beware! The Sage Yoshifumi is also there! If you encounter him before obtaining the sword, you will be wiped out! However, unlike most Sages, Yoshifumi acts as the Emperor of Ent, so his area of movement is fairly restricted. If you are careful, you should be able to avoid him!
“Ha! World Sword Omega Blade? Are you serious?”
“Not that.”
One point of advice: If you become too strong, you will be designated as a Rogue Sage and assassinated! You aren’t strong enough to fight a Sage yet, so try to avoid anything that will make you stand out!
Hanakawa remembered his time with Aoi. Rogue Sages were those who were as powerful as Sages but refused to join their ranks. Aoi’s job had been to hunt them down and kill them.
“There are an awful lot of exclamation marks in this book...” Hanakawa randomly noted.
“That’s just how it is. Tomorrow we’ll head to the capital and get the materials to make the Omega Blade,” Akinobu said, patting him on the shoulder.
“Huh? What is it?”
“You have a very important role to play.”
Akinobu was acting suspiciously nice.
“Who even wants fanservice like this?!”
Hanakawa was naked. To be precise, he had his underwear on, but that was small consolation for him. Waving a white flag with all his might, he grudgingly trudged his way up to the fortress on top of the mountain.
Go straight to the front gate by yourself, without any weapons.
Those were Shigehito’s instructions. Apparently the people manning the fort were required to accept visitors without violence, and getting in without violence was a prerequisite for obtaining the material they needed for the Omega Blade.
So Hanakawa was alone. The rest of the party was waiting a short distance away.
“Ugh. Why is this happening to me? They said I would be fine, but what’s the point if it’s not some hero with a super powerful weapon? I don’t lose any of my combat skills from being naked!”
He continued to grumble as he trudged forward. His three classmates had recruited him specifically for situations like this. He had thought their relationship was actually improving for a time, but it seemed that had been a misconception on his part.
The fortress that Hanakawa now approached was renowned for being impregnable. That made sense; from its position on the mountain, it offered a view of the landscape for miles around. Naturally, they would be immediately aware of some naked guy waving a white flag as he approached, and would therefore already be on guard.
“But that’s just how it goes. We need to enter the fortress without bloodshed, so at least there’s no risk of being attacked. In that case, this is quite a desirable event. In a sense, it is like I am conquering the fortress alone! That would mean in the end I’m like a hero myself, am I not?”
As he continued to delude himself during his climb up the mountain, he saw figures moving at the top of one of the lookout towers. A girl in a maid outfit was there, holding a large bow in her hands.
“Huh, that is starting to seem like an awfully common sight. How come everyone is making their maids fight? Still, I can’t say I’m at all opposed to it.”
As Hanakawa gave a vulgar chuckle, the girl nocked an arrow and drew it back. Like the bow, the arrow was enormous. It was hard to imagine she would be aiming at anything other than Hanakawa, since he was the only one in sight.
“Uhh... This is supposed to be without bloodshed, right? Are they just trying to threaten me? That must be it. If someone who looks like an enemy is approaching, it is only natural for them to be on guard. And then when they see me walking towards them with no clothes or weapons, they will be impressed by my boldness and so open the gate, allowing me—”
The tip of the arrow began to glow. It was clear that it wasn’t just a simple arrow. Once he realized that, Hanakawa jumped diagonally forward. The others had told him that he would be killed if he stopped or retreated, so this was the only option open to him.
The arrow passed directly by him, causing him to stagger. Even without being struck, the gust of wind from its passage had thrown him off balance.
“You stopped?”
The voice whispering in his ear sent a chill down Hanakawa’s spine. Although it had only been for a few seconds, he had come to a dead stop when he’d staggered.
“N-Not at all! It must be your imagination!”
A loud sound erupted behind him, throwing him forward. The arrow struck the ground and exploded. The blast threw him onto his face, but Hanakawa hurried back to his feet and began walking again.
“Damn.” The mysterious voice sounded upset but nonetheless seemed to agree that he was following the rules.
“How am I supposed to do this without bloodshed?! If nothing else, my blood is certainly going to be spilled!”
He soon noticed that a second maid had taken up position beside the first. He wanted to hesitate but continued forward. He couldn’t stop.
As he watched, more and more girls in maid outfits appeared. It looked like an entire army of them was gathering on the ramparts.
“I see, I see. I heard only that bandits had taken up residence in the fortress, but it appears to be a maid bandit troupe. Wait, is it really possible to expect a bloodless entry to a keep held by bandits?”
A bit late, he began to question his actions, but what happened next quickly chased the thoughts from his mind. As one, the maids drew their arrows and brought them to their bows. Just like before, the tips of their arrows began to glow. While it was an impressive sight, Hanakawa was hardly in a position to sit around and enjoy it.
“By the way, I was told if I stopped or turned back I would be killed, but how, exactly?”
“I’ll explode in your ear.”
“Then you’ll die too!”
“That’s why I was born. I don’t care if I die.”
Made by the Creator, Akinobu Marufuji, the creature accompanying him had no fear of death.
Facing the threat of countless arrows, Hanakawa couldn’t stop. He had no choice but to continue approaching as slowly as possible. As he racked his brain for a plan, he used his Discernment skill on the maids.
Class: Battle Maid.
Average level: Two hundred.
It was a well-rounded class that included hand-to-hand combat, weapon, and magic skills in addition to skills that a maid would normally require.
“I couldn’t even beat one of them! Wait! Perhaps one of the items I have... No, they took everything I had!”
Hanakawa possessed a skill that allowed him to store a huge number of items in an Item Box, but everything inside it had been stolen by Shigehito and the others.
“I need to calm down. There may still be some other option for me. Maybe I can dodge the arrows or survive the attack... No, it’s definitely impossible!”
Hanakawa was level ninety-nine, but since his class wasn’t specialized in close combat, his physical abilities were considerably limited. Although his healing ability was first class, there wouldn’t be anything left of him to heal if he got hit by one of those shafts. He could heal any wound no matter how severe as long as he was still alive, but if it killed him instantly, he was straight out of luck.
The other option was to fight back somehow, but he didn’t have any real way of doing so. He could use his magical bullets, but the strength and range they offered was close to that of a pistol. Not only would they fail to reach his targets from there, they wouldn’t do any appreciable damage to high-level warriors such as these.
“Really? Is it possible that I’m actually done for?”
If he ran away, his head would explode. If he continued forward, he would be pelted by multiple arrows, each strong enough to kill him with one shot.
“Looks like you’re screwed.”
“I don’t want to hear that from you! We’re sharing the same fate here!”
The thing living in his ear clearly didn’t fear death. It spoke as if it were talking about someone else’s problem entirely.
“Man... I just wanted to live my life as a lecherous old man. I thought since I had the appearance of a trash mob, I might be able to make that happen!”
“That’s disgusting.”
“I don’t need criticism from some weird creature!”
“I wish I could have been stuck inside someone a bit better than you.”
“If you’re going to sprout an ego, I’d rather you waited for a better time!”
“Looks like your feet have stopped.”
“So? I’m going to die no matter what I do—”
As he wasted time on a pointless conversation, the arrows were fired. They filled the sky, falling down on him like rain. With nowhere left to run, it seemed the worst possible fate had finally caught up to him.
“I-It’s just like Sir Polnareff’s situation, right? Those famous three choices! So the natural answer is that the handsome Hanakawa will suddenly have a flash of inspiration to turn the tide...or not! I guess reality really is cruel!”
He stopped moving, squeezing his eyes tightly shut. Would countless arrows punch him full of holes, or would one be enough to obliterate him? Or would his head explode before the arrows even reached him? With his eyes clamped shut, he waited for his final moments.
But nothing happened.
“Maybe I just didn’t notice and I’m already dead?”
He opened his eyes hesitantly. Standing in front of him was a young man—Ragna had come to protect him.
“Ohh! So it was option number two: ‘your companions appear to rescue you’! I didn’t think it was possible, so I didn’t even consider it!”
“I can’t just let them kill you,” Ragna said, swinging his sword lightly. With that one small movement, the rain of arrows was blown out of the sky. The army of maids fired again, but Ragna easily stopped them with his sword.
Hanakawa’s sudden relief reminded him that he hadn’t yet been killed despite having come to a stop.
“Uhh, I thought that if I stopped or retreated, I would be killed?”
“They said that if we’re nearby, it won’t explode,” Ragna explained, still covering him.
“Ohh, they even took precautions in case I charged back towards them! How thorough!”
Hanakawa of course hadn’t even considered such an option. Although he was frequently faced with situations that had forced him to face his own death, he always felt that as long as he was still alive, he had a chance to turn things around.
“But at this rate, entering the fortress without bloodshed will be impossible, won’t it?”
“Yeah. Apparently the chance of success was pretty low to start with.”
“Pretty low?! Are you sure that it wasn’t zero and they weren’t just trying to get rid of me?!” It was likely that everything in Shigehito’s book of prophecy was accurate, but that didn’t mean he could trust his fellow student. “Then, Sir Ragna, I greatly appreciate you saving me, but what do we do now? We can’t just stand here forever.”
“That’s true, but I’d feel bad about attacking them back. All they did was fire on a potential enemy.”
“Ah, so I look so suspicious that it’s okay to attack me?”
“I mean, you are marching towards them totally naked.” Even Ragna, a naive village boy, thought his behavior questionable.
“I suppose you’re right!”
As Hanakawa replied, something changed in the fortress. It began to shake. The shaking grew stronger, to the point where the maids on top of it couldn’t stay standing, and a number of them fell back inside.
“What’s going on?” Hanakawa asked, shocked.
With the maids no longer able to fire their arrows, Ragna had stopped swinging his sword. Then all at once, the fortress stood up.
“What?!”
It had grown legs. Numerous appendages rippling with muscle had sprouted under it, and they lifted the entire structure up into the air. The fortress seemed to be turning into a living thing, with something akin to blood vessels working their way through its surface.
“So this is the power of a Creator,” Ragna commented. “That’s impressive.”
“That’s way too much...”
If Akinobu and his friends were that strong, Hanakawa didn’t know why they had bothered to follow the instructions in the strategy guide in the first place.
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