After a hard day's work, Ben was chilling on his bed, feeling good, as a man who just jizzed all over an elevator should…
There were a lot of things lightening his mood:
Laura and what became of her…
The points and rewards he was about to eat.
And the fact that he didn't have to clean up the elevator.
It wasn't that he was rude. It's that he was thinking of the janitors. In reality, this was creating jobs. Literally…
With that in mind, certain words flowed from Ben's noggin'…a remastered little lullaby from a man named Vanilla Ice, called… "Ice Ice Baby."
"Yo see-my-D let's kick it
Ice ice baby
Ice ice baby
All right stop, don't need to bate cause listen
Ben is back from a brand new dimension
Magic leaf, grabs a hold of you tightly
Flow out so much poon daily and nightly
Will it ever stop yo, I don't know
Turn off the lights, and it'll glow
Like a sex dream, they rock my mic like a vandal
Light up a stage and pump a hump and manhandle
Pants! Go down to the speaker that booms
I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom
That leaf, is gonna play a dope melody
Anything less than the best is a felony
Love it or leave it, better not gain weight
You better hit bull's eye the kid don't play
If there was a problem, yo I'll solve it
Unless it's the elevator cause I involve it
Ice ice baby vanilla
Ice ice baby vanilla
Ice ice baby vanilla
Ice ice baby vanilla
Now that the party is humping
With the bass kicked in and the vag's are pumpin'
Quick to the point to the point no faking
I'm cooking MC's like a pound of bacon
Burning them if you ain't quick and nimble
Follow the stratagems, it's that simple
And a big bat with a souped-up tempo
I'm on a roll and it's time to go hole-o
Rollin' with my 7.0
With my mush-tip up so my nuts get blown
The girlies on standby waving just to say hi
Did you stop no I just rode by
On elevator to the next stop
I busted a nut and I'm heading to the next notch
The c*ck was dead yo so I continued to floor 1-1 — Male's Health Magazine!
Girl was hot, prefer glasses to bikinis
So I hid the sausage like Houdini
Jealous 'cause I'm out getting mine
Laura with a vayge and Ben with a vine
Ready for the humps on the wall
The chick acting ill cause she's slapped with my balls
Cumshots! Rang out like a bell
I grabbed my vine all I heard were yells
Falling off the man-meat real fast
Jumped out the door slapped out the ass
Bumper to bumper the elevator's packed
I'm trying to get away before these jackers jack!
Grease on the scene you know what I mean
They passed me up confronted all the yogurt fiends
If there was a problem, yo I'll solve it
Unless it's the elevator cause I involve it
Ice ice baby vanilla
Ice ice baby vanilla
Ice ice baby vanilla
Ice ice baby vanilla
Get head' cause I'm a lyrical poet
Mommy's on the scene just in case you didn't know it
My pound that created all the ass sounds
Enough to shake and kick holes in the ground
'Cause my style is a chemical spill
Feasible rhymes that you can envision and feel
Cumducted and formed
It's a hell of a cumcept
We make em' wipe and you don't wanna step on this!
Sausage on the fade, hides like a ninja, pours like a Gatorade
So fast! Other MCs say damn~
If my rhyme was a drug I'd sell it by the gram
Keep my composure when it's time to get loose
Magnetized by the mic while I get that juice
If there was a problem, yo I'll solve it
Unless it's the elevator cause I involve it
Ice ice baby vanilla
Ice ice baby (oh-oh) vanilla
Ice ice baby vanilla
Ice ice baby vanilla ice
Yo man let's get out of here
Word to your mother
Ice ice baby too cold
Ice ice baby too cold too cold
Ice Ice baby too cold too cold
Ice ice baby too cold too cold"
Ben was feeling great after he laid down his lyrical poetry…
However, in the end, it was all about the points, which is why Ben couldn't keep that stupid grin off his face because they were a'comin. Yet, today, he had something even better than that.
[Monthly Challenge: Keep It in the Family - Seduce a woman who is at least a 7 in looks and a legal or blood relative of a woman you've slept with]
[Reward: Stat Point(Random) x1]
[Punishment: Plus or minus one testicle…depending]
[Completion status: 1/1]
[Distributing reward: Stat Point(Random) x1]
[Assigning Stat: Knowledge +1]
Ben closed his eyes as he felt his knowledge expand and become clearer, He was growing wiser, more astute, in the areas he was familiar with:
Memes…
D*ck jokes…
Ass, titties, and fart jokes…
'Why is it all this sh*t?!?' Ben opened his eyes in a fury…
Wasn't he at least good at marketing and some book knowledge, so why was he feeling like all the nonsense was being reinforced… He sighed. 'Whatever, this might be my destiny…' Ben was willing to go with the flow.
Besides, there was something more important to take a look at now. Having cumpleted his very worrisome monthly challenge, that now meant he had a new one to look forward to, or perhaps, a new difficulty to deal with.
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*Author's Note: Thank you for all your support! There may be occasional days where chapters are late because my schedule has become a little challenging due to personal matters. However, I'll do my best to post everything on time. Please don't forget to vote every day! Thanks again!
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