Naruto Hiden - Volume 2 - Chapter 19

The End

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It had been one week since Shikamaru left the Country of Silence. Kakashi had ordered him to take a break and heal up from the fatigue caused by being held captive as well as the final fight with Gengo. 

The wound on his forehead had been given medical aid by Sakura straight away, so Shikamaru didn’t really have any injuries that he had to rest up for. The state of his heart was also much lighter compared to how it had been before his trip to the Country of Silence. He didn’t really need a vacation, but Kakashi had insisted, and so he complied.

Chouji and Ino had gone out on other separate missions soon after they returned to Konoha. Naruto and Sakura were still working things out in the Country of Silence. Of course, Shikamaru went to visit Mirai at Kurenai sensei’s house, but it sufficed to stay there for just a few hours.

All his time was alone time. He didn’t have to do anything.

All week, nobody had bothered him.

For the first time in a long while, Shikamaru had lived quietly and calmly, day after day.

Some days, he had sat himself down in front of shougi board, and played against himself for hours. Other days, he set out at sunrise and climbed a mountain, lying down at the top and watching clouds until the sky was dyed red from the setting sun. Shikamaru had enjoyed that time immensely.

He reflected on how much he had changed.

If it had been the Shikamaru before the went to the Country of Silence, then he wouldn’t have been able to stand a week of no missions or work for the Union. He would’ve lost his presence of mind completely.

He would’ve kept thinking ‘what if some serious incident happens while I’m gone’ or ‘what if someone’s made a mistake in their work and nobody’s noticed’. All kinds of ridiculous, nonsensical thoughts. He wouldn’t have been able to completely relax for even one full day before he went back to work.

But now, Shikamaru could relax to the fullest possible extent. This whole week, he’d barely given a thought about the work waiting for him at the Union, or the missions piling up, his mind only ever wandering to them right before he went to sleep.

His comrades would be able to handle everything just fine, even if he wasn’t there. He could now think of that and be at ease.

It wasn’t that he’d abandoned his sense of responsibility. He’d just finally allowed himself to have some breathing space and calm down. If ever a situation arose where he really was needed, then Kakashi or Temari would definitely call for him. And if that time came, then he’d switch his mind set into that of a sharp genius, and support them to the fullest extent. There was no need for him to frantically think about when he’d go back to work every single second.

If he had faith in his comrades’ ability, then he could comfortably switch between working and relaxing.

Shikamaru had cornered himself to the extent that he had forgotten completely about that fact.

In his week of relaxing, Shikamaru had also examined himself. He’d taken a long, hard look at why he was so different after his trip to the Country of Silence, to the point that it made himself uncomfortable.

He realised how many comrades he had. And he also realised that he had ignored their existence completely. He saw how he had kept insisting on taking on every single burden and responsibility, all because of a small-minded, haughty, and completely mistaken pride that they couldn’t handle things without him.

A person couldn’t live their life all on their own. Nobody was smart or skilled enough to handle every single thing by themselves. That’s why you had friends, comrades.

The thought ‘I’ll shoulder everything by myself’ was wrong at the very root.

It had been worth Shikamaru going to the Country of Silence if only so he could realise that.

When he had been in Floating Prisoner Castle and entranced by Gengo, Temari had stormed in and given Shikamaru a wake-up call that broke him out of the genjutsu as well as every other doubt that had been holding him down.

In the middle of her gale, he had been able to realise exactly who he was.

Honestly, Shikamaru was originally an irresponsible man. He found pretty much everything troublesome, and if it was up to him, he wouldn’t want to do anything at all. It was fine to live as a fool, and he’d be happy to live his days as a coward without a care in the world.

That was Shikamaru’s nature.

And honestly, wasn’t that fine?

It was because he had accepted the root of his nature, with its devil-may-care and irresponsible attitude, that he could bring himself to accomplish things.

After all, it was none other than people like him who could understand the feelings of normal citizens who had no dreams or ambitions to speak of, and only wished to lead peaceful, ordinary lives.

What was wrong with thinking you wanted to live a normal life? The definition of a ‘dream’ wasn’t limited to just the ambitious ones that aimed high with their goals.

Living in a world that was constantly at war with itself, a normal life was possibly the hardest dream to achieve.

And that was why there was significance to Shikamaru’s existence.

If the world could become peaceful, if it could become a place where anyone could live comfortably, then surely the people who wanted to live normal lives could do so, one average day at a time.

Unfortunately, Shikamaru had been born into a world full of war. That was why he had to live his life in a hurry.

So for the sake of those who would be born after this, Shikamaru absolutely had to end the fighting in the world.

It wasn’t a dream with lofty and sublime feelings like Gengo’s was. He didn’t have any particular noble motivations behind it either.

A world where anyone could live comfortably…

So if the person who wanted to build that sort of world took everything on his own shoulders and worked incessantly, wouldn’t that be missing the point?

He’d word hard in a comfortable way, too.

That kind of attitude was best.

*

“You really worked hard.” Kakashi said as he straightened out a pile of documents on his desk.

Shikamaru had come to his office to give him his full report on what had happened in the Country of Silence, as well as give him greetings for his return to work.

“Sakura’s report on the present condition in the Country of Silence, as well as Ino and the others ending reports for the mission gave me a basic idea of what went on.” Kakashi said. “I’ve also heard the talks of all your hard work from Rou and Soku in the hospital.”

“Hard work…well…” Shikamaru felt the corner of his eyebrow twitch in embarrassment.

He’d been unable to see the truth of Gengo’s genjutsu and then gotten himself caught up in it. Temari had come to his rescue and he’d finally been able to wake up, but even after that he’d received the help of his comrades right until the very end. There hadn’t been a single thing that he’d accomplished by himself.

“It would’ve been fine even if you didn’t write this on your vacation…” Kakashi said, looking at the pile of documents in his hand. There were about 50 pages in all.

It was the report Shikamaru had written.

While he had refused to think about his missions or work at the Union to the very end of his vacation, the Country of Silence was a different matter. Writing reports after missions was one of the basics of being a shinobi. It was a given that he’d do that much, vacation or not. Besides, it was light work that didn’t take up more than an hour of a day.

“Please look over it.” Shikamaru said.

Kakashi let out a sigh and moved the bundle of documents over to the side of the desk, placing it on top of the mountain of paperwork he already had. The pile swayed a little bit, and after wearily eyeing it for a while, Kakashi then turned his gaze on Shikamaru.

“You’re an existence that this village and the Union couldn’t do without,” “Kakashi said, “So try and take care of yourself a little more…”

An existence they couldn’t do without, huh…

“That’s really troublesome.”

The words leaked out of Shikamaru’s mouth naturally, without any conscious effort. Kakashi looked at the expression on Shikamaru’s face for a while, and then he laughed.

“I see that you’re alright now.” Kakashi cheerfully said.

“Yeah.” Shikamaru naturally smiled.

“Now then…” Kakashi put one hand behind his neck, rolling it around. His other hand went to a drawer in his desk, opening it and pulling out a sheaf of documents. He presented them to Shikamaru.

Shikamaru looked down at the file. It was stamped with a red seal that indicated a B-rank mission, with its details clearly written out. He was to accompany the attendant of the Daimyou of the Land of Fire, delivering a sovereign message to the Daimyou of the Land of Lightning. A bodyguard assignment, basically.

Thanks to the Union and general co-operation between the shinobi of today, the security of the general public was rapidly strengthening. Going between two countries wasn’t really as remarkable as it had been in the past. In reality, the Daimyou’s attendant would’ve been fine with their own bodyguards. Shinobi were only assigned as an extra precaution for unexpected events. The one to work on the mission didn’t necessarily have to be Shikamaru. It was a job that any shinobi above chuunin level could accomplish.

“It’s far too simple of a mission for you, but…”

“Kakashi-san, mind if I stop you there?” Shikamaru cut in, holding up his right hand.

“It’s been such a long time since you called me Kakashi-san,” Kakashi said, staring at Shikamaru with a surprised look on his face. “It’s startling to hear it now.”

“Keeping my shoulders straight, watching the way I talk, and always twisting around my behaviour to be ideal…” Shikamaru shrugged. “I’ve already stopped doing that sort of thing.”

“That’s good to hear.” Kakashi nodded.

“So, about that mission, can you leave it to some other guy?”

“Why?”

“W-well, because the day after tomorrow is…” Shikamaru looked away. His cheeks were turning a deep crimson.

Kakashi curiously tilted his head at him, waiting for the rest.

“…I have a date.”

“Pfff!” Kakashi snorted in sudden laughter.

Shikamaru glared at him.

“To think that you’d turn down a mission to go on a date is surprising,” Kakashi chuckled, “But sure, you have my permission! Go on your date.”

“Thank you.”

Kakashi leaned back, crossing his arms and closing his eyes. “Spring has come for you, Shikamaru.” He said, nodding repeatedly. “Yup, yup.”

Fine, I gave up on my dream to have an average life.

But for goodness sake, at least let me enjoy this comforting part of my life in peace.

“Then, I’ll be going.” Shikamaru swiftly turned his back to Kakashi, stepping forward to head towards the exit.

“Shikamaru.” Kakashi called out to make him stop. He had stood to get on his feet now. “I feel like if I ask the current you, then you’ll understand more than you did last time. Do you mind if I ask you one more time? What do you think it means to be an adult?”

Shikamaru looked up at the ceiling for a while, gathering his thoughts. An answer appeared in his mind, and he opened his mouth to share it with full honesty.

“Giving up on one thing, and finding something else that’s even better, more valuable…” Shikamaru said. “It’s that kind of feeling, isn’t it? Though I might not understand it all that well.”

“Giving something up, and finding something more valuable, huh?” Kakashi echoed.

“Well, while there are people like Naruto who never give up on their life-goals and always work towards them from their childhood onwards, most guys usually give up on a goal because it turns out it can’t be done.” Shikamaru said. “But they keep living on, and, in the end, they find something that’s even more valuable, and live working towards that goal instead. Or at least, that’s what I think.”

“I see…” Kakashi closed his eyes again, crossing his arms.

“Well then, I’ll be off.” Shikamaru said, turning around and heading out. He was too embarrassed to stay there any longer.

He was just shutting the door behind him, when Kakashi’s cheerful voice rang out one more time.

“I hope you enjoy yourself, Shikamaru.”

Although he knew Kakashi wouldn’t hear him, Shikamaru replied anyway.

“Thank you very much.”

Everyone kept living their lives, and time passed slowly and steadily, like a stream…

He looks a lot like me, doesn’t he?

Our son had only just been born, but he was crying like he’d already seen through everything the world had to offer.

“It’s alright.” I told him. ”One day, you’re going to realise you don’t know everything as well as you think. And when that time comes, you’ll have definitely made comrades who will walk side by side with you.”

The baby couldn’t have understood a word, but he still stared up at me with wide eyes. Those eyes of his looked just like his mother’s, all long slit and almond shaped.

“I really can’t say anything’s troublesome from now on, huh…” I said.

“You can say it a little.” Temari told me. “If it ever looks like you’re getting so bad that you’ll stop functioning, then I’ll intervene and send you flying back to your senses again. So, it’s okay.”

“Aa, you’re right. Then…”

What are we going to name him?

“How troublesome.”