Oda Nobuna no Yabou - Volume 6 - Chapter 4

Chapter 4 : Entering ?saka Honby? Temple 

The next morning, the Oda retainers' hellish skit training was behind them 

At long last, an eager Yoshiharu and hesitant Frois made their way towards Honbyo Temple. 

Honbyo Temple was situated in Settsu province, and though it was called a temple, one could better describe it as a fortress city, one surrounded by the rivers Nakatsu, Suita, Eguchi, and Kanzaki. Its proximity to the country's largest "self-governed merchant city" Sakai also led to numerous ships passing through it's rivers. In essence, whenever anyone mentioned Honbyo Temple, they referred to the entire, self-governed city controlled by Honbyo Temple. 

Unlike Sakai, however, Honbyo Temple was a fortress ready to rebuff any would-be conqueror. 

Before one even considered the fast flowing currents of the rivers and the sturdy fortifications, just the fact that Saika Magoichi of the Kii nobles, head of the arquebus squad of the Saika Ikki, stood with Honbyo Temple was a huge deterrent. 

The disciples willing to defend Honbyo Temple, including Saika Ikki, was said to be around forty of fifty thousand, plus another 5000 Saika Ikki men equipped with arquebus. This manpower and stockpile of arquebuses were terrifyingly huge for this era. Even Nobuna, with her lucrative control over Sakai and its imports, wouldn't be able to gather enough arquebus quickly enough to deal with this issue. 

Sakai's Imai Soukyu had just recently ended his arquebuse trades with Honbyo temple, But even that could not explain Honbyo Temple's ridiculous stockpile of arms. One explanation, perhaps, was that due to the sheer number of disciples of Honbyo Temple country-wide, many Sakai merchants may have unknowingly sold arquebuses to the rich Honbyo Temple. In the end though, the most likely reason was that the Saika Ikki, whose nickname was "Arquebus war squad", had their own independent way of obtaining the firearms. 

On top of it all, Honbyo Temple had close relations with the Conqueror of Chuugoku, the Mori Clan, famous for their shipbuilders and seamanship. As a result, no matter how many provisions they needed, their supplies would never run dry thanks to the sea and surrounding rivers. This made a direct seige all but impossible. 

Eventually, a sentry spotted the two travellers and cried "the Oda Army's envoys are here!" Almost immediately, an ear deafening chorus rang out from Honbyo Temple in response. 

"Nyamu nyami nyafutsu, Nyamu nyami nyafutsu." 

"Nyamu nyami nyafutsu, Nyamu nyami nyafutsu......" 

"Nya.... Nya.... Nya...." 

....Nyankousou's unique cat chant... Chanting non-stop, the verses became shorter and shorter, until finally it sounded as though the disciples were imitating the purring of a cat. 

Yoshiharu, closing on Honbyo Temple aboard a boat proudly flying a white flag, let down his guard. 

All this Nyaa... Nyaa... Nyaaa, no matter how I see them, they seem to be peace loving people. 

He immediately sobered when he noticed the countless arquebus on the mud walls aiming straight towards the ship, 

This peace meeting must definitely succeed. If not, things will definitely spiral out of control. Because Katsuchiyo is still around, history has started to flow in a direction where it's getting harder and harder to protect Nobuna. This is a rough situation. 

Yoshiharu couldn't help but shiver. 

In comparison, Frois almost seemed relaxed in her sister attire. With a refreshing smile, she calmly affirmed, "This is to protect countless lives. My lord, please bless me with strength!" 

Seeing Frois so poised, Yoshiharu convinced himself he needed to look dignified as well. Calming the panic in his heart, he managed to shout out, "Look on, this is the original Osaka way of comedy!" 

After stopping the boat by the harbor, the both of them disembarked only to be totally submerged by the members of Nyankousou. 

Strangely, almost all of them were girls. 

No, looking around proved all all of them were girls. 

As expected of the power of cats, gathering so many women in one place 

"Nya.... Nya.... Nya...." 

"Nya....." 

"The envoy of the Oda army is here~nya......" 

"A monkey and a namban kirishitan [16] ~nya!" 

"It's Oda Nobuna after all, choosing two fellows in opposition of nyankousou's rules ~nya...." 

This was a terrifying army, armed to the teeth with arquebuses and swords, but all of them were girls cat ears atop their heads. Every one of them wore a happy, nyan cat smile; just looking at them was enough to drop anyone's guard if they weren't concentrating. 

Yoshiharu was indeed concentrating! He understood that if he barely opened his mouth he might just say... 

"You gals are just so cute! Please, what's your name? Can I have your address??" 

And if Yoshiharu flirted with them so blatantly... 

"Shut up~nya.....! Hurry and go to cat paradise~nya!" 

He would definitely be attacked by the girls. 

Perhaps Yoshiharu hadn't been concentrating as well as he thought. Already the girls were attacking him over his frivolous nature. It was the obvious outcome; even Yoshiharu could have seen it if he just used his brain a little. As one would expect though, Yoshiharu was the sort of impulsive guy who will act before his mind could advise against it. 

"I'm sorry, sorry! We are the envoys of Nobuna. Please report our arrival to the one in charge! If possible, we want to meet Kennya directly!" 

"What a shameless person~nya...." 

"What should we do~nya?" 

"I'm going to ask Shimotsuma-sama~nya." 

"Ok, please wait~nya." 

A girl went back into the temple. She seemed to be asking a higher up for instructions. 

After a few more transitions and several steps up the ladder of authority, Yoshiharu was released. He plopped to the ground as they waited for updates, the reflection of everything not diligence and poise. 

"Are you alright?" Frois asked, wiping the sweat from Yoshiharu's forehead with a handkerchief. 

Even deep into the main camp of a militarized, foreign religious group, Frois maintained her calm expression. Perhaps it was an act? 

Yoshiharu made his resolve; if anything happened, he shield and protect Frois. 

"There are only girls in this temple. It's the complete opposite of Mount Hiei, where only men were allowed, Yoshiharu-san." 

"That's because Mount Hiei represented the old religious groups, whose teachings were based on a predominantly male foundation. Ever since its founding, nyankousou didn't discriminate between identities. Because anyone can easily join, girls naturally gathered here. But there's lots of cute girls here... Now that you think about it, combining cat ears and cat puns triples their charm." 

"Is that so? Looks like I still require some effort to integrate with the culture of ZIPANGU. Wearing cat ears and saying cat language is the norm in spreading religion in ZIPANGU, then?" 

"That... would be the best!! Absolutely fabulous, Frois!" With just a mental image, Yoshiharu's nose started leaking something red. 

"Saru! You really are desperate for Frois' cow-like breasts, huh!? You traitor!" 

Uwahh! Somehow, a madly jealous Nobuna appeared in my head! It was so realistic my body's shivering uncontrollably. Ahh geez, that fellow is aiming for the world; isn't she a bit too petty over such a small thing? No, she's way too petty!" 

Crap, if even my mind is already being chained down by Nobuna, I won't be able to enjoy my youth, that most precious springtime of life! 

Yoshiharu shook his head vigorously, desperate to be away from the terrifying image. Just then, the gates opened again and several devotees walked out. 

"I am Shimotsuma Rantei, in charge of public relations of Honbyo temple." A white girl with silver hair and azure eyes offered her introduction. She wore the outfit of a nun, yet her hair was plainly visible. Nyankousou didn't enforce the rule of shaving or covering one's hair. Instead, it was the duty of all believers to wear cat ears, as per their teachings. In their hands, rather than chanting beads, were small, ceramic Beckoning Cats [17] . 

"Ahh, Randy [18] ? Aren't you supposed to be a missionary in ZIPANGU? Why did you come here?" Frois warmly, and confusedly, greeted her old friend, Shimotsuma Rantei, "You have abandoned your religion, what a shame." 

Rantei, for her part, seemed completely unshaken by the unexpected meeting. "The lord, Nekogami-sama and Kennya-sama are one and the same. This is the truth to the Holy Trinity. Kennya-sama is and always has been the one to which I have dedicated my own body." 

The former sister's azure eyes glittered brightly. 

"The Holy Trinity? Randy, you have merely succumbed to the cuteness of cats and became part of another religion. It's true that the calico cats of ZIPANGU are extraordinarily cute, but this is a little too..." 

"Frois. Kennya-sama is much cuter. But more than that, she is the most interesting person in the world. We Christians have forgotten our smiles, yet Kennya-sama has shown me that laughter is such a joyful thing. The stories in the bible are all so incredibly grim and dark. The association mistreats cats as well, so I have decided I will never go back again." 

"How can that be~ Randy who was so devout... Ahh, this shock has me feeling so faint..." 

"Hold on, Frois!" 

"Her soul seems smitten by the cuteness of Kennya and cats." Yoshiharu whispered as he supported Frois. 

"I myself have been baptised by the Buddhists in ZIPANGU. Even if Randy has done the complete opposite, I have no right to reprimand her... But, it's still such a shock." 

"Considering how Frois risks her life to come here, I understand how you feel." 

That surprising exchange out of the way, another person bounded forward to make their introduction. This time, it was a petite Japanese girl with a refreshing smile as cute as a cat's. 

"My name is Shimotsuma Kakehu. I work in public relations with Rantei. This time, regretfully, the declaration of war towards Oda Nobuna-sama is my doing. Oda Nobuna-sama is the worst... It would be tolerable if she demanded military funds of us, but her desire to conquer Osaka's Honbyo Temple and build her own castle is just too much. We are worried about what Nobuna-sama will do from now on, not least of all because of her intentions to burn down Mount Hiei and the hatred she had for her family members. If this goes on, my master, Kennya-sama's precious body will be in danger, and our reputation will..... Besides, I'm also in charge of the accounts in Honbyo Temple, and rice seems to be a little lacking nowadays. As a result, we are currently researching an Osaka delicacy, "Okonomiyaki" made from wheat. In fact, we have just started preparing to open stores country-wide to sell this Okonomoyaki....." 

This fellow seemed to be the talkative type, but her train of thought seemed to have no rails. 

"Wait, wait! Hold the Okonomiyaki discussion and tell Kennya about my intentions! All the things about Nobuna planning to attack Honbyo Temple are all nonsense! She has no intention of chasing all of you away! That fellow is busy right now concentrating on building Azuchi Castle!" 

"The situation seems to be quite complicated, Rantei. How about we ask Mayami and Okada over?" 

"Frois is a devout Christian and is totally against violence, and this Saru seems to be quite weak. Just us both will be enough. Saru! If you want to pass us, you have to defeat both of us." Rantei's azure eyes shone, and in unison all the cat-eared girls held up their weapons. 

"I said we are envoys coming in peace!" 

"Randy. Isn't there any way you could allow us to go meet Kennya-sama?" 

"This....." 

"Then let me, Shimotsuma Kakehu explain. If you can do a skit and make we two public relations officials laugh, we will allow you to enter. The only ones who can meet Kennya-sama are interesting people with masterful acting skills. Kennya-sama always says, 'If I talk to boring people, I will be abandoned by the god of comedy'. She is especially averse to the people of Kanto, who she feels do not understand the crux of comedies. Though I myself am also from Kantou, because I yearned to meet Kennya-sama, I spent a very long period of time researching. From Saru-san's accent, you aren't from Kansai, right? Hmmm, but even I, who keep in touch with the different believers from different areas, find it difficult to guess where you are from. Your accent is quite different from the dialects I am familiar with. But, I have heard that Saru-san invented that impactful new delicacy of takoyaki in Sakai. I hold the ambition of introducing Okonomiyaki country-wide, so if Saru-san was willing to teach the methods of selling food... Ahh, wait, this has no connection to meeting with Kennya-sama, so sorry! Though it is pretty convenient that a disciple of Honbyo Temple may open up a shop selling Okonomiyaki if she wishes..." 

"Your words are too long and you're digressing further and further past the point! The content is too boring anyways! Rantei-san, please summarize this in a sentence." 

"...Simply put, if both of you can perform a skit to make us laugh, we will permit you to meet Kennya-sama." 

"If that's so, I can finally relax. Because I'm from a future Japan where not just in Osaka, even as far as Kantou, the culture of comedy has taken root in everyone's hearts! No, not just Kantou; comedy is famous throughout the country! Rikyuu's special training is just icing on the cake!" 

Be shocked by the skit of Frois-san and Yoshiharu! Laugh your heart out for the nun and the future-man! 

Yoshiharu rolled up his sleeves as he puffed up his chest. Like this, YoshiharuXFrois debuted in front of their first audience...! It would be the pair's first skit for a crowd. 

Even though Yoshiharu was beginning to get used to the battlefield, his nerves began to rattle. 

Yes, in a place like Osaka, skits were even more cruel and competitive than a battlefield! 

The eyes of Shimotsuma Rantei and the crowd narrowed, as each wondered "Can Kantou people really perform a skit?" 

Frois and Yoshiharu were definitely the away team here. 

But, if they didn't pull through, Nobuna's dream of Tenka Fubu would definitely be delayed for 10 years. 

Yoshiharu took a drum and... 

Dong dong, Dong dong... 

Signalled the beginning of their skit. 

"I'm from the future, Sagara Yoshiharu...." 

"I'm from across the sea, Louis.Frois." 

"The both of us...." 

"Ahh, I'm sorry, Yoshiharu-san, We forgot to think of a name for this skit combination!" 

"Gosh! How about... Othello... no, how about we temporarily call it Hamlet?" 

"I don't know why we're suddenly discussing Shakespeare, but I understand." 

The girls of Nyankousou suddenly became silent. 

"I had forgotten about the 'opening' [19] !" 

The "opening" is the most important part of a skit, and we didn't think about it at all! 

Yoshiharu's heart screamed as he broke into a sweat. 

"For now, switch to the Osaka dialect, we can increase the affection by three times if we use the Osaka dialect!" Yoshiharu whispered to Frois secretly. 

The both of them started the skit again with an overblown Osaka tone only just prepared in the nick of time. 

"Anyway, Frois. You... came from waaay out 'cross the sea?" 

"Co...Correct. It was really quite far. The seasickness was darn terrible. How 'bout you, Yoshiharu-san, you came from the future Japan, yeah?" 

"Yeah. I ain't boastin', but I know a great deal 'bout this here Sengoku era!" 

"Ah do decle-ah, when I came to ZIPANGU nothin' shocked me like tha cats. I saw cats bein' worshipped like Gods, and I was plenty shocked!" 

"In the future Japan, cats are very popular too! Though, for some reason, mice seem to be the top in popularity in the future!" 

"Yoshiharu-san, the Osaka dialect, Osaka dialect!" Frois frantically pinched Yoshiharu's cheek. 

"Ahh, geez. Sorry, go on, Frois!" 

"Well, that... mice? 'zat so?" 

"Yup. In Kantou, there's this dream island named 'mice paradise'. All the youngsters who went could see lots of mice. Thing is, you gotta pay to go in. Tha mice had built a hi-yuge castle right down by the sea. In fact, it looked pretty darn well like that Honbyo Temple in tha Sengoku Era." 

"Payin' money to see mice? Ain't mice nothin' but cat food? I don't get what's wrong with the noggins of those future people." 

"Them mice still bite if ya forced 'em into a corner. Hell, humans do tha same! I bets in the animal world, the mice are all up an' plannin' a rebellion with tha cats." 

Suddenly, a wave of ridicule assaulted them... This was impossible. 

Fufu, how boring! Isn't it total nonsense for people to worship mice in the future!? Shouts of disagreement became a chorus. 

"Hearing fake Osaka dialects gives me goosebumps all over~nya!" Shimotsuma Rantei criticized strictly. 

Shimotsuma Kakehu, who was skilled in hundreds of different dialects, instead decided to comment, "you've had three proper lines, and absolutely zero content." 

"Yoshiharu-san, it seems like speaking in an Osaka dialect had the opposite effect. I think it's better to talk normally." 

"I see. Looking back, using the mice gag was a total failure to begin with. It's like talking about the giants all the time in front of the Hanshin fans [20] ." 

"But, what gags do we have left?" 

"There's still that breast gag that made Rikyuu laugh. The path of comedy is full of thorns; it's too difficult for a last minute skit master to just use words to become popular. I will transform into a lecherous geezer shortly, so please do your best to scold me as a garbage and hit me. Though I'm sorry you have to do this Frois, it's our only option now!" 

"Ehhhh? N...No. As the bride of the lord, I will be punished for performing such a lewd gag in front of everyone! And, such a thing like scolding and beating Yoshiharu-san....." 

"Please understand, this is to avoid war, to save numerous lives! The straight-man Frois will be able to change this country's history for the better!" 

"Hmmm. If this is the case, I can no longer reject... *Cough*" 

Yoshiharu passed Frois the huge paper fan he had bought from Sen no Rikyuu, and her knuckles were pale as she gripped it. 

"Now we're going to begin that breast gag, use this fan and slap as much as you want. Don't show any mercy. Use all your strength and hit me on the head." 

As he encouraged his reluctant partner, the crowd suddenly began to take interest again. 

"Ohhh, what's that humungous paper fan~nya? Is it a prop for the straight man? I haven't seen such a skit before~nya, it must be a modern skit~nya." There were all kinds of voices rising from the audience. 

"It can be done! If it's the violent kind of skit!" Yoshiharu's nose twitched at the scent of victory. 

"Anyway, umm. Frois-san's breasts are really huge. Just when did they start to grow-" 

PIAK 

The fan connected Yoshiharu's head at lightning speed! No hesitation, no mercy; a cool strike! 

"Fr...Frois, it's not the gag yet.... Come, come!" 

"D...Do...Do...Do...Do...Don...Don't ask me such an embarrassing thing! Be...Be...Because those who serve the lord cannot lie. Even if it's such... such a lewd question... this is too despicable!" 

"Wait a minute, wait a minute, we still have to grab their attention with an opening." 

PIAK PIAK PIAK 

3 hit combo! 

"Are you talking about 'grabbing' [21] ? You want to grab my breasts in front of everyone? Th...Th...Tha...That's too ridiculous, de...def...defi...definitely not!" 

"Nono, that's not what I mean! We have to handle the 'opening' of the skit first!" 

"Yoshiharu who was just playing around with my breasts has no persuasive power!" 

PI~~AK! 

This time, it landed on Yoshiharu's face. 

"Uhhhh!? Fr...Frois, wait! That fan, it's a little too painful use it right on... Gah, my nose, it's bleeding!?" 

"I'm sorry, so sorry. As the bride of the lord, if it's to protect my chastity, I must resist with all my might, even if I have to defeat Yoshiharu-san!" 

"Ehhh.... You hug me tightly when I'm playing around with you. What's with the sudden change?" 

"Yoshiharu, you mean to say you have such lewd thoughts when you confess your sins to me? Shameless!" 

"Because I'm a guy, there's no helping it! If Frois abandons me, I won't have the courage to continue living in this Sengoku Era! I beg you, let me play around with those huge breasts of yours again...." 

"Ehh!? Yoshiharu-san's eyes are perverted!? Ahh, my lord, please forgive me! Yoshiharu-san has been possessed by a demon now! I must use the holy fan to exorcise him! Demon, leave Yoshiharu-san's body now!" 

PIAK! 

Yoshiharu's body rolled along the ground like a broken children's toy, to the nyankousou audience's wild cheers. 

"I didn't expect the kirishitan to be so violent~nya!" 

"Again, again~nya!" 

"Teach that monkey face man a lesson~nya!" 

"Uhhh. That's it. This Frois's straight-man is becoming much better, not bad at all." 

"Yoshiharu-san has to be the pro here, taking all those merciless hits. Taking hits like that while minimizing the actual damage his body receives shows his intense training for the part of the fool. This must be experience gained from time spent with his master, Oda Nobuna. But, to my okonomiyaki business...." 

Yoshiharu, his face full of blood and barely able to pull himself off the ground, smiled as he stuck out his thumb. "Beautiful, it's a success, Frois... But, my semicircular canal seems to have broken... My legs are numb, I can't stand up....." With these words, Yoshiharu's face fell to the floor. 

"I'm sorry, really sorry, Yoshiharu-san! Those cruel words didn't from my heart, even though I hit you with all my might; please forgive me!" 

"Frois, your foot! Don't hesitate, step on my head! With this, everyone will laugh! It's our victory!" 

"I just, I can't do it! Uhhhh. Yoshiharu-san, I'll support you, hurry and stand up!" 

"How can you do that!? Please, step on me like everyone expects, and step over my corpse! Go to Kennya, and stop the war! I beg you!" 

"......Yoshiharu-san.... The desire of yours to bring everyone peace is actually so.... It's like the lord, carrying his cross over so many mountains. If that's the case, I will become the traitor, Judah!" 

Frois faced the sky with tears peeking beneath her eyelids as she drew a cross over her chest. Yoshiharu summoned the last of his determination and devoted his entire being into becoming a lecherous geezer!! 

"Hehehe, that's my Frois-chan. Now, back to my question: when did that pair of tits you have there start popping up? Around what age? How did it feel when they just puffed up like that? Huh? How's zat? Did you feel shy lugging those tits of yours into the bath while all the dirty geezers starred?" 

"... That is the one question I wish never to answer." 

Frois' expression faded, and she put all her weight behind a fierce stomp square on Yoshiharu's head. With that, Yoshiharu lost consciousness. 

Nya..... 

Nya..... 

Nya..... 

A success. 

It felt like... Rather than being popular because it was a good skit, it was more of the audience enjoying a lecherous monkey being taught a lesson by a devout Christian girl. There were no rules when it came to comedies though. It was your win as long as you were funny. There wasn't any sort of protection agency in the Sengoku Era either. When no one was holding back the violence, the results could be unexpected. Yoshiharu, with his resolve to be stomped on, had won this battle. 

But in those final moments, Frois seemed to be serious about wanting to protect her own body. 

"Fufu, does Frois have a talent for playing the straight man? Well done, you've passed. I will arrange for a meeting with Kennya-sama for you." 

"Please enter through the gate." 

Shimotsuma Rantei and Kakehu decided they passed. 

And so, thanks to Frois and Yoshiharu's huge sacrifice, they could finally meet the master of Honbyo Temple, Kennya. 

After passing through the gates of Honbyo Temple, Yoshiharu stopped short. 

The Settsu province of the Sengoku Era was brimming with a strange energy. If one were to say that this energy reached fruition as "commerce", this fruit would reside in the international city of commerce, Sakai. Honbyo Temple's fruit grown of this energy, then, could be called "faith". But even if one called it faith, there were no rules prohibiting their desires. This fruit was filled with a love of comedies and Nekogami-sama. If anything, it seemed to match the Sengoku Era's Osaka. 

This situation was worlds apart from the ordinary lifestyle of Kantou. 

"Th...This is the true Honbyo Temple? It's almost as big as Koshien Stadium!?" 

Exactly. 

Comparable to a castle's "Honmaru [22] ", there was a huge building to worship Kennya and gather Nyankousou devotees. 

This building looked just like the coliseum of ancient Rome. The interior walls were all rounded viewing seats made of stone, and in the centre was a wide green grass field. The entire setup was most likely designed and constructed by the namban people under Shimotsuma Rantei's leadership. 

Seated along the stone bleachers and around the green field were tens of thousands of Nyankousou members, all speaking with strange "Nya...." "Nya...." sounds, and most of them small girls. 

"Kennya-sama, so cute~nya!" 

"I'm healed~nya!" 

"Look over here~nya!" 

Their gazes were all inexorably drawn to the center of the stage build on the grass, where stood the master of Honbyo Temple, Kennya. At her side, holding a big black arquebus by the name of "Yatagarasu" [23] , was the leader of the Saika Clan. 

"Everyone!! You guys are as spirited today as ever; I can feel it in the air! Just by living right now, we have nothing to lose! I wish for Osaka to fill to overflowing with energy under the power of Nekogami-sama! This is Kennya-sama~nya!" 

"I'm her partner, Saika Magoichi. Now, let's start with another skit! Hey!" 

Kennya looked rather strong-willed in her extremely flamboyant clergy attire, but was actually quite a small girl. She even wore her cat ears and tail so naturally... No, looking carefully, the furry tail seemed to be moving a bit too much to be fake. 

With a "Nya nya", Kennya waved like a beckoning cat statue, and with a energetic look she began to rile up her believers. Modern societies would most likely see this as a typical idol act. 

In direct contrast with Kennya, the leader of the Saika Clan, Saika Magoichi was garbed in black and gave off an older, "Onee-san" aura. She swayed noticeably where she stood, but it looked like the cause was a liberal dose of alcohol rather than the huge arquebus "Yatagarasu" she carried. 

"Every day, Kennya-sama gathers her believers to perform a skit. This way, each new day will start amidst happy laughter. This is how the priestess combats the melancholy brought forth by the chaotic Sengoku Era. This is already a normal activity for Honbyo Temple." Rantei explained as she brought Yoshiharu and Frois to the front of the box seats. 

"Hmmm, battles have been raging on near the capital for ages; everyone is afraid and tired of it. We of Honbyo Temple are exactly as you have seen, an impenetrable paradise that even samurai cannot conquer." Shimotsuma Kakehu continued. 

"Frois. Even if the wars continue on for hundred of years, the people of Osaka will not suffer. We can live happily through laughter and the power of Nekogami-sama. Compared to the view in Europe, that the world is full of evil and we must abstain from our desires, this is a radically different view. I was quite shocked, and soon defected to Nyankousou." 

"But, this is a little too extreme. The Temple relies heavily on arquebus as well... With so many people fighting against Nobuna-sama, things will become bad." 

"Samurai and Nyankousou are dire enemies. Kennya-sama is preparing to unify this chaotic ZIPANGU under the flags of Nyankousou. That's just the way it will be." 

"Why? Isn't this the same ambition as Nobuna-sama? In the same ZIPANGU, why must two persons with the same ambition kill each other?" 

Rantei and Frois huddled together at the front of the box seat as they conversed. 

All the while, Kennya and Saika Magoichi's skit went on. 

"Kennya's dream is to spread Nekogami-sama's teachings all around Japan and bring peace to this country. How about Magoichi's dream~nya?" 

"What? My dream is to find fame through arquebus and comedy skits, and find the 'best man in the world'! Because I'm a pure girl despite how I look.... Ahahahaha." 

"Best man in the world? Perhaps a beautiful guy like Asai Nagamasa? It's gonna be hard for Magoichi~nya...." 

"The best man in the world isn't some sissy who looks like a girl. Being the best in the world means being the bravest...! Nowadays, there are just more and more useless men who throw the responsibility of war to the women. Even traveling around the country in search of the best, I just can't find good guys~" 

"Uh-huh, uh-huh, brave men~nya... Magoichi's butt seems quite big~nya..." 

"Don't talk about that!" 

"The hips of a natural mother~nya..." 

"I have not delivered before! Though it's embarrassing to say it, I'm still a virgin!" 

"Forget it. You are a lewd girl who is always horny at night..." 

"It's true that I'm lewd, but I don't do such things with just anybody. If I haven't acknowledged a man as the best, I won't allow him to touch my body!" 

"This girl is just so troublesome~nya... Even if you found him, what if he said, 'I don't want a girl with a big butt'?" 

"If that's the case, I will just shoot him in the head with my Yatagarasu!" 

"...Unpopular girls sure are scary~nya" 

"Shut up! Just say I'm a sentimental woman!" 

"Everyone be careful; you ought to find a husband soon before you become an old spinster like Magoichi~nya. If you keep being picky, your choices will start to run out~nya." 

"Don't exaggerate! I'm still young! And Kennya, you don't have a guy either, right? You've faced a drought of men ever since you were born, ahahahahaha!" 

"Ken...Kenya-sama is still young, so there's no problem~nya!" 

"Recently, those princesses of samurai families seem to marry at ten...." 

"Even one story like that is too many! To think there are still perverts like that around~nya. When Kennya unifies the world, I will definitely eliminate all these lolicons!" 

From Yoshiharu's modern perspective, this skit between two girls, even if it fully utilized the Osaka dialect, was incredibly dull. For whatever reason though, the mass of female believers all greeted each line with laughter. 

Like... 

"Magoichi! Let's fix the walls of our house today!" 

"Aye~ [24] " 

With such a boring joke, everyone laughed hard enough to uproot the whole Honmaru. 

In a modern workplace, a superior joking around like this with his subordinate would eventually completely destroy the hierarchy. 

Yoshiharu sighed, giving in to the fact that this was as far as the Sengoku Era had come. Just as his mind began to wander... 

"Magoichi! Kennya's name, it's written as 'Dog' 'Girl', and read as Kennya! So actually Kennya is an inugami-sama~nya... I'm so sorry for cheating you guys~nya!" 

"Are you an idiot!? Aren't those cat ears you have on!?' 

"Ow, owww. Don't pull on them so much! My ears will drop off!" 

"Hey, those look like they're real cat ears; just what is going on?" Yoshiharu asked Shimotsuma Kakehu. 

"That's because this person is the living incarnation of Nekogami-sama. All the different masters of Honbyo Temple have inherited the blood of Nekogami-sama and have real cat ears and tails. If I were to go into specifics, it would be a very, very long story above the rising of Honbyo Temple, hmmm. Ummm, in the past... Umm, the start of the story began when the Kamakura Shogunate [25] was ruling Japan..." 

"So Kennya-sama is a human as well as a Nekogami. A half of each, you could say she's unique." Rantei interrupted, cutting off Shimotsuma Kakehu's unnecessary history lesson. 

"I guess on that topic, Hanbei has been using shikigamis all this time. The Sengoku Era really does have everything!" 

"In ZIPANGU, cats are the deities healing the human soul." 

"I'm in the dog faction though. No matter if it's cats or dogs, they are all pets in Japan's future. Pets are domestic animals kept at home." 

"... You dare... dare say that Nekogami-sama is kept by humans. Unforgivable!" 

Just as Rantei and Yoshiharu's argument seemed ready to escalate... 

"Why's dat!?" 

BHAM 

With Kennya acting the fool, Magoichi performed her straight-man slapstick, but she went way overboard. Taking aim at Kennya's belly with her big arquebus Yatagarasu, she squeezed the trigger without any hesitation. 

Ahh, had a blood feud broke out between the master and her partner? 

Oh? Kennya is dead, she's dead! 

Yoshiharu panicked, and Frois bowed down her head, muttering "Ahh, my lord." 

"Stop~nya! Getting shot by an arquebus hurts!" 

Kennya, who had just collapsed to the floor, seemed to be alive and well as she stood up to give Magoichi a kick. 

This time, the fervor of the believers had reached it's peak. 

"Wait, I was using a real bullet just now! Why didn't you drop dead?" 

"That's because, Kennya is a living deity! Just a bullet from an arquebus is nothing to me~nya! Nyahahahahaha, nyahahahahaha!" 

"Uwahh, isn't this a joke? Damn it, I don't care anymore! Eat the butt!" 

Magoichi flipped the lower portions of her clothes up as she turned her butt towards Kennya and slapped it. The T-shape of her loincloth and that peach-like round butt of hers was perfectly visible. 

It was still a comedy skit, but this was just too obscene. Magoichi's talent was to reveal her butt on stage to attract attention, and so she gained the name, "Butt eating Magoichi". All the girls seemed to laugh out "Nyaaa...", but... 

"Lo...Loincloth! That is... loincloth.....!" 

Yoshiharu, still a pure, young guy at heart, was blushing instantly as he lowered his eyes. 

"Our believers are all girls, so there shouldn't be any problem with slapping your butt here. But, Magoichi-nee-san, if you want to reign at the top of the country with your skits, please consider a little about your male fans when you are shaping your image." 

BHAMM! 

Magoichi point her arquebus straight into the sky and shot, signalling the end of the skit amidst thunderous applause. 

"No, wait. Magoichi-nee-san's loincloth was so distracting I had forgotten to ask, but Kennya actually survived a direct shot! And she isn't hurt at all! Just what happened!?" 

"I can only say, this is a miracle, just as how in the bible the son of god dies and rises anew. I'm so blessed to be able to witness such a miracle every day in this far eastern island." 

"Ok, let me offer a quick explanation to everyone here. Because Kennya-sama's body is half that of a deity, just a bullet from an arquebus won't be able to hurt her. It's worth noting, by the way, that the power of Saika Magoichi's arquebus, according to my estimates, it's about 3 times that of a normal arquebus, which I base around the fact that..." 

This is the same miracle known only to the son of god, unbelievable. No wonder Randy defected. 

Frois tightened her grip on her rosary as she broke into cold sweat. 

Is there a trick somewhere? Or is this magic? 

Yoshiharu displayed in full the suspicious mentality of a modern person. 

In the era that I live in, there are even tricks to make the whole Eiffel Tower of Paris vanish, right? But apparently she's a half demon, so to that extent, she shouldn't need to have any tricks... Zenki said he isn't good with arquebus, but compared to the shikigamis summoned by those ancient Omyoujis, this Nekogami sect is much more modern. The English term for Kennya would be "Next Generation", I suppose, so they might have a resistance to arquebus?" 

"Kennya-sama has left the stage and entered the guest room. She wants to meet with the two of you." 

After witnessing for himself the extraordinary charm and popularity of the Sengoku Era idol Kennya, Yoshiharu once again made up his mind as he walked towards the guest room. 

If bullets can't hurt her, then Kennya is someone that we can't defeat no matter what. Not just that, the believers of Nyankousou will emerge endlessly. Fighting with this bunch of people is definitely not an option. 

"I'm... starting to become dizzy," Frois said as she grabbed onto Yoshiharu's arms with a worried face. 

"This is too different from my common sense; it's a religious gathering far out of my imagination. It's so totally different from Buddhism and other religions that, honestly, I'm a little afraid." 

"Yeah, there isn't any strict or devout atmosphere here at all. But it's ok, Frois. I've stood my ground debating with Katsuchiyo, er, Takeda Shingen. With my title of 'The pacifier Yoshiharu', there must be some way." 

"Is that so?" 

"Yeah. I'm one of the reasons why Takeda Shingen is still alive today. So, to save Nobuna from this crisis, no matter how big of a sacrifice I must make, I will definitely negotiate this peace treaty with Honbyo Temple. This is the so called atonement of my sins. But, I will definitely protect Frois, so relax!" 

"...... Obrigado" 

You are really a pacifier, Yoshiharu-san. Frois smiled. 

~ ~ ~ 

In the guest room, set up as it was like a tea room, the four of them stared at each other's faces. 

The representative of the Oda Clan, Yoshiharu, the mediator, Frois, the master of Honbyo Temple, Kennya and the leader of the Saika Clan, carrying the arquebus Yatagarasu, Saika Magoichi. 

Kennya's subordinates, Shimotsuma Rantei and Shimotsuma Kakehu had retreated outside. 

"Nyahahahaha! Sagara Yoshiharu. You really are a monkey face, just like what the rumors say! You couldn't turn into a cat even if you wear cat ears~nya!" 

In a dignified mood and full fighting spirit after ending her skit, Kennya laughed so cheerfully that her cat ears shook. 

"Yoshiharu-san, the war will start sometime soon. Once this negotiation breaks down, Osaka, Ise, Omi and Mikawa will instantly break down into chaos. We have Kyoto in our sights." 

The cheerful and frank Magoichi sat down cross-legged as she gulped down her tea with a big tea cup... No, it looked like her glass was filled with wine. All the proper mannerisms associated with the tea room seemed to be out of the window. 

Wait, with her legs like that, I'd just need to tilt my head a bit to see... *gulp* 

Finally, Yoshiharu couldn't endure any longer and shifted his gaze towards Magoichi, but instantly in his mind, Nobuna's furious face appeared, shouting"You cheating on me, Saru!?" and stopping his eyes dead in their tracks. 

Eh, this isn't like me at all. I'm just like those Christians, constantly trying to keep their conscious clean for Jesus! Will I be like this from now on? I like Nobuna, but these symptoms make it feel like I'm just terrified of her! 

"The Oda Clan had no plans to wage war against a peaceable religion. Those rumors saying Nobuna-sama would attack Honbyo Temple aren't worth believing." Frois explained. 

"Even if those are baseless rumors, but there will definitely be conflicts in the future." Kennya retorted, a matter-of-fact ton to her voice. 

"I can't let those battle-frenzy samurai do as they please in Japan any longer. That bunch is too depressing~nya. They have forgotten all about the smile that is most important to humans~nya. The battle of the Oda army with the Takeda army, just seeing it makes my heart depressed and sad~Nya. I can only use laughter and the cuteness of Nekogami-sama to heal the people, so we might see peace reign throughout Japan once more! What Japan needs now isn't a violent God, but a God that can bring forth happiness~nya!" 

The young and always laughing Kennya, had an unexpectedly sharp mind. It seemed she wasn't just a cute face. As expected from someone born to be the successor of Honbyo Temple. With this, Yoshiharu realized he wouldn't be able to persuade her without going all out. 

"I can't let Oda Nobuna, who knows nothing about the spirit of comedy and reeks of miso, complete her ambition of Tenka Fubu~nya. We have good relations with Takeda Shingen, but her rural lands of Kai aren't much use, and she can't proceed to the capital easily~nya. So, it is up to Kennya-sama to fulfill the ambition for Tenka Fubyo and transform Japan into a country of laughter for all to see~nya! Nyahahahaha!" 

"The believers in Honbyo Temple, most of them are the second or third daughters of poor samurai families and children of farmers who lost their lands due to war. The key is that they had no place to go to except Honbyo Temple.... Since we can't know what will happen the next day, we should just trust to fate! Just like this, we don't care about anything and ride to war. Hmph" 

Magoichi drunkenly aimed at Yoshiharu's head with her Yatagarasu. 

"I'm a rural samurai from Kii. I don't listen to anyone's orders, a perfect woman. I'm not one of the believers of Nyankousou, and have no interest for the world. I stay because I feel relaxed performing skits with Kennya. Our motto is 'to make this boring world interesting'. Any fellow who want to tie us down, even if she's Oda Nobuna who is leading the world, I will let her die by my gun! Ahahahaha!" 

"Wait wait. I'm different from Kennya! I'll actually die if I'm shot! Stop, stop!" 

"Bang...?" 

"Uwahhhhh! My head was hit, no more....! Frois, let's run for our lives!" 

"...Wh...at, I didn't squeeze the trigger. Are you an idiot!? What a coward. Ahahahaha!" 

"Damn! I almost leaked...!" 

"Weak. To think that you shat due to fright [26] . So weak! Ahahahaha!" 

"How low~nya! What a disgusting envoy~nya!" 

"I didn't shit or anything out of fright! Your comedy routine is too outdated! Especially when the fool isn't really the fool! You guys are like ancient art!" 

Ahh damn!! Let me show you what the true modern gags are! 

Despite the burning in Yoshiharu's heart, the modern gags he knew would most likely not fit the tastes of the Sengoku Era. 

"You argue that, precisely because we are at this chaotic era, the people need laughter....? In the same vein, the lord did teach us, 'Man cannot live on bread alone'. I think I finally understand, both your argument and the reason Randy defected. But if we really go into war, won't all of you lose your laughter too?" Frois asked. 

"Once I, Kennya defeat Oda Nobuna and end the era of samurai, peace will once again reign throughout the lands~nya. Listen, kirishitan~nya. The people of this chaotic era do not know what will happen to them on the morrow. In this bleak world, there are two kinds of medicine to help their hearts." Kennya explained. 

"One is the medicine named tears." 

"Tears of pity, tears of resonance, tears of sympathy. There are many kinds of tears, once one cries out, the things stuck in their hearts will flow out with the tears, and their heart will be released too~nya. The reason your Christian teachings have taken root through the whole of Japan with such immense strength is because you kirishitans are skilled in saying things that make people cry~nya. Your story, in short, is that of the master having been betrayed by his disciple, and suffering torture and finally dying by being pinned onto the cross. After going through such a depressing story, he was miraculously revived! Something like that will make people cry out in waves, what a brilliant story to make people cry. This cheery Kennya feels a little like crying when remembering Rantei's bible stories~nya." 

With no explanation for which story she had recalled, Kennya wept a little 

"It is not the duty of the church to make people cry. Simply put, the church teaches that all humans have immense sin the moment they were born. But, our lord shouldered all these sins for us with his death." 

"That right there is what's totally incompatible to our cheery Osaka people. Whhhhhy must Osaka people have sins the moment we are born? Those young girls who suffered during the war and have no home to return to, after losing their family and running to Honbyo Temple for refuge, what sin do they have~nya?" 

Kennya opened the window and waved at the girls gathered on the field cheerfully. Everyone was cheering "Nyaaaaaa" at her. 

"These children have no sins~nya. If there is, it's the fault of those fallen nobles in Kyo and those samurai who fight endless wars~nya. Honbyo Temple's purpose is to provide a safe shelter and food to these children who have suffered the most in this chaotic era, along with peace of heart. If the world wasn't this chaotic, Honbyo Temple would just be a small temple housing cats~nya!" 

Yoshiharu and Frois had to admit, though Kennya was young, she was indeed an extraordinary character. They began to understand a little how the girl could come to be a messiah. It's just, her "Nyaaa~" smile and her expression when she bit into her favourite dried fish completely fit her actual age. 

"It's like this... The suffering endured in this chaotic era, maybe this is what our lord called 'sin'." 

"Ahhh.... Ahhh... How depressing~nya...... The medicine that I, Kennya made is laughter~nya. No matter how chaotic and uneasy the world becomes, once they laugh out loud from their hearts, ahh, how mysterious, their mood is suddenly so cheerful~nya! It's better and more relaxing to believe things like sin do not exist from the beginning, I think~nya. What Japan needs during this never ending war is laughter and a heart that loves cute kitties~nya... Since we have struggled our way into surviving every day, it's too much to find some sin to suffer! It's not our loss since we are alive~nya! It's precisely because of this chaotic era that we should look on ahead and maintain a cheerful mood~nya! This is the crux of Kennya-sama's teaching~nya." Kennya proclaimed loudly, stoking a huge beckoning cat. 

Hmmm. They had found a beckoning cat to replace a Buddha, so can they be counted as a faction of the Mahayana? No, they're more of a charity group, right? 

Yoshiharu's mind was running at full throttle as he nodded his head. 

The people had been tormented with centuries of war, and their hearts were always uneasy. Living on was a pain, especially when there was no knowing what would happen the next day. Thinking of "Using laughter to recover our spirits!" during such a time seemed fitting of the people of Osaka. It's a testament to this amazing era that the power of Honbyo Temple had grown this strong. But, as expected, this bunch was way out of their league if they wanted to rule the country. 

"Kennya is using her own way to save the hearts of the people. Think how much the people would benefit if she doesn't start the war and continued performing her skits." 

Kennya and Yoshiharu stared at each other as seconds ticked by. As things crept on though, the cat ears on top of Kennya's head were still twitching. Yoshiharu couldn't help but notice, and his strict expression began to crack. 

"Wait, don't make me laugh! This is a solemn situation." 

"Kennya fears the depressing atmosphere the most~nya. Anyway, didn't Oda Nobuna send over gifts~nya?" 

"How can that petty Nobuna spend money for something like that? Rather, she wants Honbyo Temple to fund her expenses." 

"...As expected, that fellow is Kennya's enemy~nya. At least give me a fish~nya. Just to mention, as you have no doubt noticed, I love dried fish." 

"Hmmm, just like a cat. How about some catnip?" 

"Ny...Nya...!? 

As soon as the words leave Yoshiharu's mouth, Kennya paled instantly. With her body and tail frantically trembling, her eyes quickly filled with tears and she darted behind Magoichi. 

"Ca...Ca...Ca...Catnip is no-no~nya! Th...that thing is just too scary~nya! No~nya, definitely not~nya! If you give Kennya that, Kennya will... Uwahh... Uwahhhhhhhhh" 

"Uhhh, looks like someone is in denial. Looks like my only choice is bringing out the catnip." 

"Don't take it out~nya, don't take it outtttttttttt!" 

"You are really thick headed. I should just kill you with a shot." Being in charge of protecting Kennya's safety, Magoichi aimed her Yatagaru straight at Yoshiharu. 

"Hoho. You seem composed, I didn't expect you to have such guts." 

"It's just a joke. Didn't I say I'm a peace envoy?" 

"Listen? Though she is the invincible Kennya-sama, catnip is Kennya's greatest nemesis in the world. When it's brought near her, Kennya will become useless, and the power of cats in her body will disappear. Remember this, and never bring out the topic of catnip again." 

"I got it already. How about I bring out a mouse, that should be okay, right?" 

"Nya.... So you didn't bring catnip, huh? I can finally relax now, Magoichi~nya." 

"Ahh, calm down, calm down. Though Kennya is pretty cute when she's frightened and trembling too." 

"There's nothing decent about the retainers of Oda Nobuna~nya. He keeps saying he's a peace envoy, but he still acts so arrogant~nya." 

Actually, Yoshiharu had prepared a bit of catnip. Luckily, he realized soon he would be dead once he brought it out in front of Magoichi-nee-san. Yoshiharu cautiously sipped his tea. Knowing that the ninja Goemon should be somewhere nearby was just enough to keep him calm. If Goemon wasn't around, he might really lose control of his bowels in front of that huge Yatagarasu and it's formidable presence. Perhaps he needed a plan for whenever Goemon wasn't around. In fact, they were finding more and more times she couldn't keep watch over him. The more he thought about it, the more his nerves frayed. 

Frois, who had been silently listening, finally opened her mouth. 

"....Umm... I do agree with the teaching that laughter can bring great happiness. But, if we don't practice moderation, we won't know when we will commit a sin. For example, when Yoshiharu-san sees a girl's breasts, it's a sin for him to immediately ogle them. I'm a sinful woman for being born with such a huge pair of lewd breasts to mesmerize Yoshiharu-san." 

"It's not like this, Frois! A girl's big breasts can be used to console guys! Don't I always say that? Be more confident of yourself!" 

"...Sigh. But, I will never let Yoshiharu-san touch them again. When Yoshiharu-san was hugging me to ease his heart, I discovered during our skit training that he was thinking lewd thoughts." 

"That was just an act to get Frois to hit me!!... At least half of it! Ahh, for a bishoujo like Frois to not marry for the rest of her life, what a waste! What have you done, God!" 

"Ohh… Ohh. The Oda clan's envoy is on our side~nya. Just to mention, in Honbyo Temple, even the clergies are able to marry and divorce as they please. Our side seems to fit you better~nya." 

Kennya smiled as she looked at Yoshiharu. 

"What, you love the breasts of young girls? What a brat. When you start to become excited over the peach-like roundness of the butt, you will have finally grown up! Ahahahahaha!" 

Magoichi, now deeper into her inebriation, hugged Yoshiharu. Immediately in his imagination, Yoshiharu saw Nobuna roaring, "Saru, so you don't just love big breasts, you love big butts too! Just how lewd can you get!" Who would have thought that having a girlfriend as a riajuu [27] would be so troubling? Yoshiharu was suddenly enlightened. 

"Anyway! Laughter and tears, isn't it good to have both medicines? Japan has 8 million Gods and deities, and this symbolises freedom, no, tolerance, so Christianity and Nyankousou can both coexist peacefully. People like Nobuna who love the namban will be touched by the tears of Christians, and those who love comedies can be consoled by Kennya's skits. There isn't any problem in that! As long as you disarm yourselves, even Nobuna won't wage war against Honbyo Temple, I dare say!" 

"Nobuna dislikes nothing more than religious clergies arming themselves and fighting. Once this war starts, it will last an entire decade. No matter how hard it gets though, Nobuna will never give up on her dream of Tenka Fubu, and the hatred between the both of you will just pile up. This place will become a land with no laughter." Just like this, Yoshiharu tried his best to persuade Kennya. 

Could Nobuna really reach her goal of Tenka Fubu? 

According to Yoshiharu, there were two ordeals that she must pass. 

One was to prevent the "Incident at Honnouji." 

And the other was to prevent this 10 year war with Honbyo Temple. 

The situation was rough. The "Tiger of Kai", Takeda Shingen was still alive. If that miracle of Saitou Yoshitatsu defecting at the last minute hadn't happened, the army led by Saitou Dousan would have been utterly decimated by Shingen's Takeda cavalry in the Battle of Gifu. Nobuna, wanting to save Dousan, didn't finish the Asai Asakura allied forces. And they had yet to face another sengoku warrior on par with Shingen, Uesugi Kenshin of Echigo, not to mention the Mori Clan dominating the Chuugoku. 

The Oda Clan currently faced enemies at all sides. If they had to wage war with Honbyo Temple now, the Oda army wouldn't be able to defend its own territory. Shingen would doubtlessly once again march towards the capital. If things really came to that, the Oda Clan actually might not make it. 

Knowing this well, Yoshiharu faced the most important job in his life. 

"It's still not too late to stop. Giving lines like 'You will go to cat paradise if you die' to your girls will only make them die in vain, so that's a definite no. According to what Frois said, this is the sin! Humans, let their lives be beautiful like summer flowers!" 

Feeling the atmosphere change brought by this serious Yoshiharu, Kennya couldn't help but retreat. For the first time, she had the expression of a young demure and cute girl. 

"... 'Cat paradise' was originally a short term strategy to console the people who were afraid of death brought by wars, famine and plague." 

"But it has become 'If we die in the war, we can go to cat paradise, so calm down! Relax!'. Am I wrong?" 

"Before we noticed, it had become like this~nya. Sagara Yoshiharu, you have seen them too. We have reached an impasse in this chaotic era. The believers of Honbyo Temple are cheering everyday, since they have given their all, but they've gotten so fervent they can't bear it to not take action. Letting Shimotsuma Rantei lead them to war with the samurai before they break out in unrest is the current best plan~nya. Our Honbyo Temple has very good relations with Takeda Shingen and the Mori Clan at the Chuugoku Region, so the enemy is obviously Oda Nobuna~nya." 

"We of the Saika Clan do business by warring with our arquebuses. It's our wish to die in battle, and we have long come to terms with this. But the believers have been suppressing their anger more and more, and now we cannot stop them just by performing a few skits." Saika Magoichi said. 

"Sigh, it's the fault of those samurai who tortured the people that we're in this situation today. What's wrong with pouring out something that has been suppressed for so very long? That is the only way. Ahahaha, want another cup?" 

So even Kennya couldn't control this bunch of energetic believers... Yoshiharu was out of ideas. But since the war hadn't started just yet, there was still time. He had to keep thinking...! 

"Ahhh... If this goes on, Japan will also face religious war with the religions of Europe... Yoshiharu-san, no matter what, you must stop them." Frois held her cross tightly and prayed. 

"Frois. Just what happened in the religious war of Europe? I'm not that familiar with world history, unlike Japanese history." 

"... It's regrettable, but there are two major factions among the Christians in Europe, and they wage war among each other all around the place. The pope of Rome led the traditional Christians, while the new Christians refused to acknowledge the church's authority. Both parties hated each other and began their war." 

Now that she mentions it, I think I remember something like that in the textbooks.," Yoshiharu recalled vaguely. 

"What, so the namban have a problem with opposing authority too? Humans, just how dumb can they get? Hmph!" 

"Yeah~nya. This trend doesn't seem to stop~nya." 

"No, I, having come from the future to change this mistaken flow, will proclaim right here! Magoichi-nee-san is very strong, strong enough to be called the goddess of arquebus. With her and the countless believers, the Honbyo Temple cannot be conquered. This war will drag on for ages, and even with that, the final victor will be Nobuna! She will pull through at any cost, because at the front of Nobuna's Tenka Fubu is an even greater goal! Her ambition is to sail towards the other side of the wide seas! This is the determining difference between the two of you!" 

"Of course, please keep all of this a secret from Nobuna, because if Nobuna knows of the future, my head will be in danger." Yoshiharu's glorious declaration was capped with humble begging as he knelt and held Frois's hand. 

"At least this is what I remembered from the history from my games! But in the games, there wasn't a temple named Honbyo Temple." 

Nyaaa, Kennya cowered. 

"Yo...you're bluffing, right~nya? With no catnip, how can this immortal Kennya-sama lose to Oda Nobuna, who will collapse from just a single shot from an arquebus~nya?" 

"Exactly. If I want to, I can infiltrate Nobuna's main camp and kill her with a shot of this Yatagarasu." 

"Since you came from the future, then show me your proof~nya, proof!" 

"In the ancient skits, there's also the gag of, 'Show me the face, the face!'. Now that you mention it..." 

"Oi, Saru. Don't use skits to smoke this over~nya." 

"Simply put, the manpower of Honbyo temple is scattered around the country, right? Though the total manpower is immense, there isn't a central mastermind. Even if you won in different areas, once Nobuna gathers a proper army, all of them will be defeated." 

"Nonsense~nya! Honbyo Temple has strong relationships with Takeda Shingen and Chuugoku's Mori clan~nya! How can we be easily defeated~nya!?" 

"Kennya might be immortal, but if the believers say things like 'We will go to cat paradise if we die', the arsonist Nobuna will definitely burn them into a crisp! Sigh, if it really becomes like this, it can't be stopped even if I commit seppuku. Hmmm, recently, that fellow has become much more meek, so I doubt she would just resort to burning her enemies alive... But, if she was forced into a corner by Shingen and Honbyo Temple, she might really become the sixth demon lord." 

"You're just a monkey face guy, yet you act like you know so much~nya. Since you are so adamant about it, then show me the proof that you're from the future~nya! Don't tell me you are like those paranoid prophets~nya?" 

"Exactly. There have been lots of those bastards about recently...." 

"Hmmm, I gave my phone to Nobuna, so there's really no other proof." 

"Yoshiharu-san, will the humans of the future continue waging wars all around the world and keep falling to sin?" Frois asked sadly. 

"Er..... relax, Frois. There's still wars in the future, but the humans have been improving bit by bit. Though it's really just a tiny bit. There's the culture of peaceful competitions without going into war, like the Olympics." 

"Ohlimpic? What's that? You want to fool us by using some monkey language?" Magoichi positioned Yatagarasu's barrel at Yoshiharu's forehead. It looked like she had drank quite a bit, and she seemed to be on the verge of squeezing the trigger in her daze. 

"Ol...Olympics is a peaceful event using sports to compete between different countries. It includes sports like soccer or sumo wrestling, things like that. All the countrie get to compete with each other, but since it's not a real war there won't be any death, and thus no hatred despite the outcome!" 

"Ah! Yoshiharu-san. These sports, how about we teach everyone of Nyankousou?" 

"Yeah Frois! Let's use this method! If everyone puts that brimming energy into sports... maybe we can avoid this war! Skits don't have a victor, but with sports you can compete! This can fulfill the people's desire to fight without anyone dying!" 

"I don't understand all this monkey language, but how can farmers and merchants know soccer~nya? Such a thing is a game limited to just samurai and nobles." Kennya puffed out her cheeks. 

"Kennya can be counted as a soccer pro~nya. Such a thing has too much rules, it's too irritating and boring~nya." 

"I think so too. Looking at such an elegant thing, I will feel flustered and want to shoot!" 

"I get it, I get it. Then let me teach you guys the newest form of namban soccer! That will be sure to get your blood pumping!" 

"Namban soccer???" 

Though Frois seemed worried, mumbling "Will that work?", Yoshiharu stuck out his thumb and proclaimed, "It will definitely succeed, trust me!" 

Forced to a corner, the "peace envoy" Yoshiharu offered a suggestion that would affect the rest of his life. And just what was this "namban soccer"? To find out, please come back for the next chapter.