Oh no! After I Reincarnated, My Moms Became Son-cons! - Volume 14 - Chapter 25

Chapter 25

I silently lied on Mera’s bed with my hands on my chest . I was as calm as if I was dead . The bed felt brand new . There was no warmth and no lingering scent . They must’ve changed her belongings more than once; it was no longer the place Mera lived a long time ago . The house was, well, still a house, but Mera was no longer there . She hadn’t been there in a long time .

The scent on the bed was the scent of the solution elves used for washing . It was a unique scent of lush grass but definitely not the fragrance on Mera . Mera had the scent of flowers on her, not this sort of overwhelming scent . Mera was a distant memory for me . It was so long ago that the me from then, and the me at present were two complete different people .

I silently looked at the roof . There was no emotion in my voice . It was as though I was conversing with myself:  “Mera, I honestly thought I was different to you back then, since you said you were a dark elf and so did Lucia . I thought dark elves and the other elves weren’t different, but I now understand how much you suffered as a dark elf . In the past, I was just making predictions, but I really understand now, because I’m actually a dark elf, too . I never thought that we were of the same kind . I was just a more fortunate dark elf . We’re the same, Mera . We’re the same kind . If I wasn’t so fortunate, we might’ve been together . ”

I gently placed my hand to one side, seemingly hoping that my hand could rest atop Mera’s, but it was just an empty spot next to me . The bed was just an ordinary single bed . Mera never had a lover or romantic interest . She lived alone until her final day .

I was very lucky . Thanks to my Galadriel heritage, I didn’t have to suffer what other dark elves had to go through . With that said, I wasn’t different to Mera in any capacity . Mera and I shared the same nature . I had to resist my urge to suck blood . I wanted to be an ordinary elf, but it was impossible .

I didn’t want to become a blood-sucking dark elf . Mera desperately tried to be the same as ordinary elves, but she couldn’t physiologically alter herself, while I was an ordinary elf who awoke to his desires as a dark elf . It took all my willpower to resist my craving for blood, which was so excruciating I wanted to die . What about Mera, then? Mera didn’t put up with it for one day or a few days but years . Her entire life .

How much pain was Mera in? A lot for sure . I eventually experienced bearing with the pain that could drown you in despair . She showed me a smile for that small wish of hers in spite of the loneliness and pain . It was awful to imagine how much she put up with .

Mera was much stronger than I am . She bore with so much for her life and because of what Queen Vyvyan said, while I could also die for my dignity and kindness . Did that even us out?

“Mera, you truly were so strong to be able to bear with this pain . I’m the same kind as you, yet I stabbed you with a sword . My Mera, if we had made a different decision and if I knew we were the same kind, I don’t think I would’ve killed you . ”

I smiled helplessly, and then slowly sat up . I looked the sunset shining in from outside .

I still vividly remembered the time I first visited Mera’s place after her death . When I came visited back then, her gentle scent and warmth still lingered . Her pen and notebook were also still on the table . Mera’s ink didn’t dry up yet, either . She seemed to have just left back then . Back then, the sunset was the same as it was this visit . Nothing had changed . Alas, the beauty had left . She left me with an empty memory and the pain of despair .

I pondered, “Mera was the first person I killed . After I killed her, I began to kill countless other people, one after the other, and then more . Mera wanted me to become an outstanding King, but have I really succeeded in doing so? I tried my entire life . Did I end up fulfilling Mera’s wish? Was I able to become the King that she hoped for?”

“Mera, I don’t know . I don’t want to disappoint you . You exchanged your blood for everything that came after . I made a lot of turns after you left and made my fair share of mistakes . You wanted me to become an outstanding King, but did I succeed? Mera, we might be able to meet soon . Will you be disappointed when we meet?” I conversed with myself, eyes on the ceiling .

I continued floating in my thoughts: “Will Mera be consoled? She used her blood to allow me to become an outstanding king . I always tried . I changed in the midst of my quest and I made a lot of mistakes on the way . I killed lots of innocent people, because of Luna’s misfortune . Have I let Mera down?”

I almost forgot about Mera’s wish she imparted with me . Then, I was filled with guilt toward Luna . I almost forgot the last words Mera whispered in my ear . Perhaps the blood I was drenched in overpowered Mera’s warm blood and scent . I exuded a bloody aura; therefore, Mera should’ve lost her scent of blood long ago . Actually, maybe blood didn’t excite me anymore .

“When was it that I began to become indifferent to bloodshed…?” I wondered .

I stood up and stamped my feet .   I slowly turned around to pick up my cape .

I wondered, if I didn’t kill Mera back then and begged to keep her instead, what would’ve happened? Would Mera be with me? That was all hypothetical . My life wasn’t a game; I couldn’t return to the past to change it . ’

What transpired already transpired, and I didn’t have any means of changing it . I couldn’t imagine what would’ve happened if everything didn’t happen . If I didn’t kill Mera back then, Lucia would probably be enraged . My relationship with Lucia might’ve broken down for all I know . Despite whatever one might say, Nier and Ling Yue never harmed me, but Mera almost killed me and Lucia . If I kept somebody who was such a potential hazard with me, Lucia would’ve eventually challenged her to a duel and killed her . Moreover, would Mera be able to accept my suggestion? I would never find out . It was pointless to think about, since Mera was no longer alive . Her last traces in her house had been erased .

I left the house . Gazing at the flowers that were still fresh, I uttered, “Mera, we will likely meet again . ”

The flowers were still blooming, but it wasn’t the same young girl taking care of them anymore . She was past tense . All that was left were the houses and me, who was about to leave, standing there .

I questioned, “Will anybody still remember Mera and Luna after I depart? Will somebody, who comes across Luna’s tombstone, find themselves puzzled and destroy the tombstone I, personally, made and destroy Luna’s flower, too? Will there be a day where they tear down the homes here to make the elven imperial capital tidier? There’s nobody living here any longer, after all . All the other houses, besides Mera’s, are also in poor condition now . Will the two be forgotten, then?”

Their stories were written with me in their life . Their story was my story . Thus, they were essentially me . My Mera and my Luna were stories that only I had the privilege of enjoying .

I walked over to my horse and mounted it . I spent long enough in Duargana for long enough . We trotted to the city doors . I went along the street Lucia and I had fun on . The sky and this sunset were the same as were in the past . I took all of it in from atop my horse . I looked at the details of what I remembered and what I had forgotten, bringing everything back into the surface of my mind .

That was everything I had gone through . That was what I once loved . I wanted to see it all one more time before I died . I want to see it all one last time…

========

Elizabeth looked at the forest ahead of her . The horse she sat on snorted . She was there once again . She ran away to the forest when she was young .   She ran into the elven forests, got to know Vyvyan and the man she loved . She still viewed those days as the most beautiful days of her past . She never wanted to forget those beautiful days . She remembered the days of walking barefoot on the leaves; she remembered the sweet lake water and the fragrant fruits . However, she also remembered the blissful feeling of holding her son for the first time .

Elizabeth still remembered his soft face . She remembered his warm body and innocent smile . She could also feel the pain of separation, the pain that could virtually tear her heart open . That memorable painful sensation hit her again as she rode atop her horse .

Elizabeth ran away once before . She hated her powerlessness thereafter . Her regret was because of herself . Her regret was a product of her weakness and powerlessness . When she met her son again, when he called her, “Mom,” again, she resolved to never let go again . She was not going to let her son leave her under any condition except her own death . She still harboured that resolute desire .

Elizabeth had to enter the elven forest, the place she once left her child . This time, if she couldn’t bring him back, then she had resolved to never come back out!