Oh no! After I Reincarnated, My Moms Became Son-cons! - Volume 3 - Chapter 32

Chapter 32

“Son… You… Mera…”

I don’t know how I found my way out of the dungeon, but I knew my body was covered in blood . I was covered in Mera’s blood . I don’t know how long I held Mera’s corpse in my arms and wept . I then got staggered to my feet and exited .

Mom pulled me who was like a zombie over and looked at me . She then pulled me tightly into her embrace . She choked on her tears as she stroked my head . She didn’t care about me being stained with blood . She just hugged me tightly as though she was trying to comfort me, and like she wanted to protect me . She stroked my head and choked as she said: “It’s alright . It’s alright…son… Don’t be scared… Don’t be scared… Mommy will protect you in the future… Mommy won’t let you leave mommy again… This sort of stuff won’t happen again… It won’t… Mommy will definitely protect you . Promise… So… don’t look so despaired… Mommy… Mommy will provide you with a safe and peaceful environment… . ”

I hugged mom tightly and breathed in her body fragrance to intoxicate myself . Large teardrops fell from my eyes onto mom’s body . My body shook as I hugged mom and wept . I don’t know why I was scared or why I was crying . Maybe it was due to the terror of killing for the first time, perhaps because I was sympathising for Mera… .

But I definitely didn’t regret it .

Mom cupped my face, looked into my eyes and anxiously asked: “Son, tell me, are you happy right now? Do you feel the joy of revenge?”

She was looking in my eyesas though she was searching for the world’s most valuable treasure . I lifted my chin up, looked at mom and shook my head . I wiped my tears and said: “No… I’m suffering… It’s a bitter pill to swallow… I’m truly very hurt… But…I don’t regret it . ”

Mom looked into my eyes . My eyes were indeed filled with pain and hatred . She tightened her grip on my face and I noticed that her entire body was overcome with despair . She dropped to her knees helplessly . She knelt on the ground as she sobbed and said: “I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t have let my son trial Mera… . I shouldn’t… Mera succeeded… Mera succeeded in the end… My son… My son…”

Mom suddenly pulled me into her tight embrace and cried aloud . I had no idea what the matter with me was . Why did mom say something like that? I could feel that mom was in despair like me . My belief that kindness could change the world got destroyed, while the naive and kind world mom created for me had crumbled .

Perhaps that was why mom was in despair . She had tried so hard for so long and yet I couldn’t maintain my kindness and naivety in the end . I picked up the sword in the end .

However, I wasn’t happy because I killed Mera . I found no joy in vengeance . My body that was soaked with Mera’s blood irked me . It felt like her blood wouldn’t come off regardless how many times I washed myself .

“Mom…”

“What’s wrong son…?”

I hugged mom tightly and while in her embrace, quietly said: “I want to wash myself…”

“Alright… Alright… Mommy will help you wash… the blood off . ”

Mom wiped her tears and took in a deep breath . She then wore a worn out smile and grabbed hold of my hand .

After mom carried me into the water, I sat in her lap again and leaned against her breasts while her hands glided around on my body . I always felt like my morals and heart were killing me when I washed with mom, but this time, I wasn’t concerned with mom’s body . I was so sad I didn’t feel anything . I just silently floated in my thoughts .

I didn’t know what to think about . My brain was a mess . I usually felt that it felt better to wash in hot water, but I can’t feel the water here in the elf nation . My body which lost all sense of touch reminded me of the time I spent with Mera in the stone cave and her words weighed on me .

I wasn’t regretting it . It was more like distress . While killing Mera was my decision, I was genuinely sad about Mera’s passing . My only friend died by my hands just like that . She couldn’t protect her tribesmen she desperately tried to protect . And her salvation was death at my hands .

What did Mera do in the end? Why did I let Mera fall into despair? No… It wasn’t my fault, but I was still powerless to protect her, was I not? Castell wouldn’t let anybody threaten him, and nobody would try to bribe Lucia . My friends on the other hand, could all become a risk . So does that mean that I don’t have what it takes to protect them? If that’s the case, then everyone I consider to be a friend could be a threat .

“Your highness… If… if… you weren’t… a prince… perhaps… perhaps… our ending… could’ve been better…”

I…

“Son, mommy knows what you’re thinking . ”

Mom suddenly hugged me tightly from behind . Mom placed her head next to my face and gently rubbed it against my face . She then quietly said: “Mommy knows what you’re thinking . Mommy knows that you’re a gentle boy too… The matter with Mera was not your fault . It’s not always your fault that bad things happen . Son, mommy noticed that your gaze lost its naivety and kindness . Mommy is heartbroken, you know? Son, you were the root of the violent war ten years ago… You carry far too many debts of blood . Mommy doesn’t want you to live through such times, so mommy didn’t teach you anything, not swordsmanship, not archery, not warfare strategies . Mommy just wanted for you to be able to live a simple life… Mommy didn’t want you to get caught in turbulence and conspiracies . Mommy will be satisfied as long as you can live kindly and happily play . ”

Mom bit my ear and endearingly kissed my head . She then sad in a melancholic tone: “However, mommy failed . The world mommy tried to maintain for you got shattered . You were still targeted in the end . Both mommy and that woman know that if an assassination were to take place, it meant that somebody was trying to instigate another war between elves and humans once again . While we are aware of that, we will still fight because you’re mommy’s one and only source of hope . Without you, it would be the same as dying . I might as well let off some steam before I die . ”

“Mommy wants to let you live a simple life . In fact, mommy doesn’t want you to be a prince . However, that woman is different . The lifespan of humans is short and she therefore has no way of staying by your side forever like me . As such, she wants you to shoulder the responsibility of the crown . This is one of the reasons we can never reconcile . ”

“Right now, your eyes carry determination and a will that a child shouldn’t have . The last time I saw that gaze was when that woman went back . Those are the eyes of a king . You didn’t grow up the way mommy had in mind . Mommy’s plan has crumbled . You couldn’t maintain your childlike nature forever . You’re now walking the path of a king . Mommy is really sad . Truly very sad . As a king, you will inevitably have to witness and shed blood, and you will finally become used to its scent . ”

Mom tightened her arms around me . She smiled bitterly and said: “Even I can’t forget the feeling of killing someone after trying my absolute best to fulfil the roles of a mother because I’d witnessed far too much bloodshed and killed far too many people . The same applies for that woman . A king is bound to be soaked with blood . Son, you’ve already been involved with too much blood . Mommy is afraid that you will stray from the right path if this happens again . ”

“Remember, son . Killing is not violence, but killing the innocent is a sin . When you wield your sword, you must be filled with pain and respect, not joy and insanity . Son, you’re still kind . Don’t let your kindness disappear . Mommy will protect you . Mommy will definitely protect you . When you’re sad, suffering, and in despair, mommy will definitely protect you, promise . Mommy loves you . Mommy will love you always… You’re my dearest son… Mommy won’t stop you if you decide to shoulder all this . However, mommy will definitely protect you, look after you and love you until mommy’s heart stops beating . ”

Mom lowered her head and sobbed by my ear as she hugged me tightly .

I couldn’t move, nor could I shed a tear, otherwise I would’ve hugged mom tightly and cried loudly .