Chapter 119
The King of Wanderers smiled slightly at my words . “It has been a long time? I saw you last time . ”
“We just passed by each other at the time . ”
So far, I had seen the King of Wanderers twice . The first was when Han Sooyoung and I destroyed Song Minwoo and the second was when the Disaster of Floods was killed .
This was the third time…
The King of Wanderers slowly took off her mask . As expected, it was her face .
I asked, “When did you get out?”
“A little while ago . ”
We looked at each other for a moment . My mother and I didn’t look alike . No matter how hard I looked, it was only a face in the late 30s . When I was a child, I often heard that she looked like my older cousin . Of course, that was when I still had my father .
“Did you live in Seoul?”
She replied, “I came to meet someone I knew . ”
“Then you were accidentally caught in the Seoul Dome?”
“Yes . ”
“You have been released . Why are you wearing the prison uniform?”
“Let’s see? Perhaps it is out of a desire for atonement?”
“…Atonement? You?”
“Every human is a prisoner . They have their own prison . ”
I stared at my mother . That shameless tone… She really hadn’t changed . She told me, “Can’t you say any words of thanks? You would’ve had a harder time without me . ”
…Certainly, she helped . My mother led her forces north to the disaster . It was great, no matter how weak the disaster . In fact, I believed that she would do it properly . I hated my mother but I also knew my mother well .
“You are meeting your mother but you don’t seem happy . ”
“Do you really want that?”
“A little bit . ”
[The exclusive skill ‘Lie Detection Lv . 1’ is activated . ]
[You have confirmed that the statement is false . ]
How funny . I knew it was a lie but I still had to check . I said, “You have survived . You are a great survivor . ”
“It is thanks to the story you told me . ”
“…I guess so . ”
“You are the only one who came to the prison to see me and told me about the novel you read . ”
That was correct . I never had a proper conversation with my mother during all the times I visited her at the prison . I only talked about Ways of Survival . Once I became tired of it, I stopped visiting . “I didn’t have anything else to say apart from the novel . ”
“How can that be?”
“The novel was all I had . ”
An image of the past came to mind before disappearing . If there hadn’t been Ways of Survival or the author who wrote the story, perhaps I wouldn’t be in this world right now . This story was the only comfort to the Kim Dokja who didn’t have a mother or a father .
My mother muttered, “It is at most a fantasy novel…”
“In the end, you survived thanks to that novel . ”
We stared silently at each other for a moment .
[The constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden Headband’ is looking at you with excited eyes . ]
[The constellation Secretive Plotter is looking at you with strange eyes . ]
[The constellation Demon-like Judge of Fire is watching you with sad eyes . ]
I was the one who broke the silence first . “What attributes did you get? It might be related to the novel I told you . ”
“Should I tell you?”
“Yes, if you still think of me as your child . ”
“I wonder if you think of me as your mother . ”
“A little bit . ”
[The character ‘Lee Sookyung’ has used ‘Lie Detection Lv . 1’ . ]
[‘Lee Sookyung’ has confirmed that the statement is false . ]
Dammit . My mother already had this skill . There was a hint of sorrow in my mother’s expression . I had no way of knowing if it was acting or not .
She asked, “Are you still holding a grudge against me?”
“I’m not here to talk about that . ”
“Your father was the bad guy . ”
“I know . ”
There were certainly ‘bad people’ in this world . One type used violence against their wives, illegally gambled and threatened their family’s livelihood .
My father was a bad person . I knew it, my mother knew it and South Korea’s laws said it . However…
“Your actions weren’t right just because my father was a bad person . ”
“There are things we have to sacrifice for a better life . ”
“There is no such law in South Korea . There is a law that any human who commits murder should go to prison . ”
“You are good at speaking because you only read novels . ”
“For me, reality was more like a novel . Because of you . ”
At this point, it already wasn’t a normal conversation between mother and son . This was why I didn’t want to talk to her . I knew what would happen when we talked . We knew too much about how to hurt each other .
I changed the topic . “Do you know why I am looking for you?”
“Let’s see?”
“I can tell when you are lying so stop beating around the bush . ”
My mother smiled lightly .
“You have prisoner no . 406? Lend the grandmother to me . ”
“…Wouldn’t it be better to take the incarnation with Jeon Woochi as a sponsor than this grandmother? I have many useful incarnations . ”
“Jeon Woochi is Mother’s companion . Besides, the grandmother will be more help . ”
My mother stared at me for a moment before nodding . “Certainly, she might be useful because of the opponents . By the way, how do you know the sponsor of No . 406?”
“I can’t say . ”
“Do you have a skill to see sponsors?”
I couldn’t say anything to my mother . “Are you going to lend her to me?”
“I’ll lend her . Instead…”
I was a bit afraid of what she would say next . My mother would probably suggest a deal I couldn’t imagine at all . She said with a faint smile, “Next time, introduce me to your friends . ”
I was stunned and couldn’t pick my next words .
…Shit . It was a perfect blow . My mother was the best at making bad people worse .
“Dokja . Look straight at reality . Even if fiction becomes reality, you shouldn’t think of fiction as reality . ”
[The exclusive skill, ‘Fourth Wall’ is shaking violently!]
I only heard a few words but my entire world seemed to shake . I knew for sure . To this, this person was the strongest reminder of the ‘reality’ I hated .
“Do you understand?”
[The stigma ‘Self-Rationalization Lv . 1′ is activated . ’
Disgusting . Now she wanted to act like a mother . Too many rivers had been crossed to go back now .
[The exclusive skill, ‘Fourth Wall’s’ shaking has subsided . ]
I couldn’t bear it anymore and stood up . “That’s right . I think that fiction is like reality . Why? It is because I have always been living that way . ”
“…”
“Maybe it seems pathetic to you . However, know this . At least I didn’t sell ‘reality as fiction’ like you did . ”
I left the tent with these last words . Cool air entered my coat’s collar and reached my body . I looked in front of me and saw the slightly startled Yoo Sangah .
“I-I’m sorry… Dokja-ssi was late…”
It was difficult . No, rather than difficult… It was shameful .
“Did you hear everything?”
Yoo Sangah bowed her head in a deep apology . The crown of her head could be seen .
I eventually sighed . “Would you like to take a walk?”
We walked along the platform of Yongsan Station . It was definitely a cold wind but the temperature changed when it touched my cheeks . There wasn’t time to wash my hair but a nice fragrance floated from Yoo Sangah’s hair .
I asked, “How is your hangover?”
“It’s okay . By the way, I heard that you carried me on your back . I’m sorry . I troubled you . ”
“It was because you were looking after me . ”
We were silent for a moment before I opened my mouth . “Do you think it is strange? Why are a mother and son talking like that?”
“That’s not true . ”
She was lying . It was extremely strange .
“Do you want to know?”
Yoo Sangah’s eyes shook for a moment . “…If you don’t mind . ”
I smiled bitterly . Yes, now was the time to talk . I took a deep breath before saying with exaggerated tone . “My mother killed my father . ”
Strangely, my words sounded ridiculous . I spoke like it was someone else’s story .
“She went to prison for her sin . ”
I continued speaking .
“My father… it is shameful to say this but he is someone meant to die . Domestic violence, gambling, guarantor… my mother and I lived in fear every day . There wasn’t a single day without bruises . I was sometimes hit . Then one day, my mother made up her mind and it happened . ”
“Ah…”
“I thought it was quite well-known at the company . Yoo Sangah-ssi didn’t know?”
There was no answer from Yoo Sangah . She realized with the benefit of hindsight that she had touched a wound she shouldn’t have touched .
“Do you feel even stranger now? It is legally wrong but you don’t understand why I hate my mother . ”
“No! I’m not Dokja-ssi so I don’t fully understand…”
“Honestly, do you think I should forgive her?”
Yoo Sangah couldn’t say anything . It couldn’t be helped . The touched wound had already burst .
There was an awkward silence before I spoke again . “Do you know the book called the Underground Killer? It was previously on the Kyobo bestsellers list . ”
Talk about a book emerged all of a sudden . Yoo Sangah thought the previous topic was closed and replied awkwardly, “I think I’ve heard of it . Wasn’t it an amazing bestseller?”
“It was an essay written by an abused woman in prison after she killed her husband . It was praised by critics at the time . They said that a Korean version of Notes from Underground had come out . Of course, it was completely overrated . ”
Yoo Sangah’s face suddenly darkened . She had noticed . I hadn’t changed the topic at all .
“That’s right . My mother wrote it . ”
Yoo Sangah’s lips dropped open .
“I still remember the time a bunch of reporters waited in front of my house . They kept asking me if the essay was real . ”
“…”
“I remember everything my classmates said . They told me that my mother made money by selling murder . ”
“Dokja-ssi…”
“My relatives also said this . My mother is a murderer . How dare she slip her face into the newspapers?”
Yoo Sangah wanted to say something but I kept going .
“It was a bit hard because of this . No, it was hard for a long time . ”
“…”
“I could bear to be the child of a murderer . However, it is different to be sold as a story . It is a different matter when my life was turned into money by someone . ”
I looked at the sky . It wasn’t night but I was more certain than ever that the distant constellations were watching me . Perhaps this story was meant for them as well .
However, no constellations sent me coins . Should I be glad? I didn’t know .
“Do you still think that I should forgive my mother?”
I didn’t want an answer . I didn’t want her to understand in the first place . Maybe this was the ugliest form of violence I could do against Yoo Sangah, who grew up in a well-off family . It was an arbitrary display of unhappiness forced onto someone who would never understand .
The kind Yoo Sangah would grieve knowing that it was impossible for her to understand . I laughed at the unknown sense of victory . “I’m sorry . It was a joke . ”
“Huh?”
“It was a lie . Were you fooled? Do you think there is a novel like this? My mother and I are ordinary people and my father was in an accident when I was young…”
Then something small and soft gripped my hand . The texture was so warm that I forgot what I was about to say . For a while… I stopped walking .
Yoo Sangah wasn’t looking at me . Thus, I wasn’t looking at her either . We walked hand in hand without facing each other . It was as if this alone was sufficient . Strangely, my heart gradually calmed .
[The exclusive skill, ‘Fourth Wall’ is shaking faintly . ]
Perhaps it was due to the realistic body temperature .
“Dokja-ssi!”
We neared the entrance of the station and there was the sound of people rushing forward . We reflexively let go of our hands . Jung Heewon ran over and asked, “Did the two of you kiss again?”
“K-Kiss?”
“Yoo Sangah-ssi is blushing . You did it, you did it!”
I would’ve misunderstood if I didn’t know Yoo Sangah a bit more .
“Stop playing around . Nothing happened . ”
“Yes yes, I’m sure . ” Jung Heewon looked at me and said, “A strange grandmother came to find us . She was called by Dokja-ssi?”
An old woman with a cane walked out from the back of the party . “I hope this useless old body will be of help…”
Like other prisoners, the grandmother was wearing a blue prison uniform . She was prisoner no . 406 . My mother acted very quickly .
“Are you Kim Dokja?”
“Yes, that’s me . ”
“I’ve heard a lot about you from Sookyung . It is a pleasure . ”
“It is also a pleasure . ”
Sookyung was my mother’s name . I looked around at the party members and said, “She is indeed the person I called . Let’s depart . ”
We exited Yongsan Station and went to a place where people were gathered . Yoo Jonghyuk’s party and the kings were already gathered there .
A white crystal slowly fell from the Great Hall in the sky . It was a crystal that shone with light .
[Warp Crystal . ]
This was the item we would use to go to the next scenario area .
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