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35 「Loneliness」

Makiura sat on the chair in the medical office and offered a tea, Mitsuki told the story at the supermarket.

Running away with his brother to the supermarket, they were besieging.

Yusuke appeared in the place where food ran out, and saved them.

She remained silent about the body was asked for compensation.

Then power outage occurred in the town, a man attacked just before they escaping from the supermarket.

Masaru was killed.

Yusuke helped Mitsuki who was attacked.

Mitsuki tried to kill the detained man, but she couldn’t kill him.

Instead, Yusuke did himself.

She spoke ambiguously about having had that man sacrificed for zombies.

Mitsuki thought that as a natural which he deserved , but she didn’t know what Makiura thought. She is a doctor who helps people. If that just oneself then it’s fine, she didn’t want to have an unpleasant feeling toward Yusuke.

Because of the urging Makiura, Mitsuki finishes talking about the rough flow.

Makiura had a complicated expression after listening to a story. Looking at it, Mitsuki became uneasy.

 

「Well, Mr. Takemura did it for us. Things like to blame…」

「…… Yeah, I do not plan to do that. Me too……」

 

Makiura then paused the speech.

She stare at her fingertips on her knees and keep silent.

Mitsuki was puzzled over the silence that suddenly came, but after a while Makiura raised her face as if nothing had happened.

Then smile softly,

 

「Even so, He seem to be a very reliable person, isn’t it? According that way of talking.」

「Ah, yes. Takemura-san is really amazing. When I didn’t understand anything and what to do, he gave me various instructions. If I did according to that, everything will be fine. Without such a thing… to think we could have been able to live at the time…」

「Is that so…..」

 

Makiura muttered.

 

「I hope you cooperate, but….」

 

When Mitsuki scratched his head, Makiura gave a bitter smile,

 

「This is because the people who came newly are people who survived in this situation. It will be very helpful if they become power. ……But, because of our mistakes, we have lost an opportunity. We must put an effort to earn the trust from now on.」

「……because of the delay in rescue?」

「Well….. Before consolidating the rescue and causing confusion…」

 

After said so, Makiura smiled to make her relieved.

 

「People of the Self Defense Forces seem to be jumping all over the place to rescue. It will come here soon so please do not worry. 」

「Yes….」

 

That’s all for the conversation.

 

 

That simple grave was in the corner of the park.

There is no one around. There is only the human figure of the guard in the distance.

 

(……)

 

Mitsuki crouched in front of the grave of Masaru and was staring motionlessly.

Originally this was what Mitsuki should do.

Revenge and burial, both of them pressed against Yusuke.

If that thin man is still alive.

If the dead body of Masaru were left behind in that supermarket.

Mitsuki’s heart will not be as settled as it is now.

She would dragged by the regret and spent days blindnessly.

 

(I’m sorry for being useless older sister…..)

 

She couldn’t accept the reality yet.

The loss feeling that she lost her younger brother is strong.

However, in front of Masaru’s sleep place, Mitsuki gradually recovered herself.

Right now she must protect Takashi.

There is no protection of Yusuke anymore.

Her childhood friend Atsushi will help them without any doubt but she understand that Atsushi is forcing himself.

It is a kind of favor that she had received unconsciously once, but it is painful to continue to receive it now. It’s like unilaterally using opponents.

they say that they were childhood friends next to each other, and that doesn’t go with clear love, they had felt faint good will. She also thought that it might be such a relationship in the future.

It seems that it is already in a distant world.

There is a cold reality in front of her.

 

(……)

 

Put hands together in the front of the grave, and Mitsuki stood up.

 

 

Two days after conversation with Makiura.

That day she was in a busy morning.

Takashi’s stomachache returned, and once had vomiting. The facial expression of Makiura who palpates the belly is steep, and Mitsuki is anxious.

Before noon the whole city hall became busy.

It was because they heard that a helicopter will come.

Since Makiura was making a list of destination rescuers such as injured people and sick people, prepare for the movement accordingly. Takashi was also in it, so Mitsuki carried him herself.

The helicopter flashed before long of the scheduled time. In an uninhabited city where the bustle of the train has also gone, there were echo sounds in the sky.

The aircraft with camouflage and green camouflage revealed from the sky, the cheers rose.

While the gathered displaced people were watching, the helicopter did not land soon and was looking around the city hall while lowering altitude for safety confirmation.

Eventually the helicopter slowly lowers height. The dignified appearance became clear as it approached. It is considerably big compared with a car.

It landed on a small parking lot in the corner of the park. The wind pressure of the rotor winds up the dust on the ground and shakes the surrounding trees. Mitsuki and others were waiting in the park a little away, but the explosion and the wind pressure were intense even in that place. Since there are about ten people who can accommodate at one time in a helicopter, all the displaced people can not ride, but most people were gathering around.

The rotating speed of the rotor gradually weakens.

A co-pilot’s door opened, a self-defense officer wearing a flight jacket on camouflage clothes got off. He was covered with a black helmet, he was wearing the visor and the headset, except for his mouth, he was hiding. There was an assault rifle in black on the right hand side that he took out of the seat.

The SDF slides the door of the helicopter while being cautious of the surroundings. Cardboard was loaded with mountains inside. While doing it by hand, start beckoning by gesturing this crowd.

The other pilot is still on the cockpit. The rotor is rotating without stopping and echoing a unique low wind sound. He is waiting so that he can fly at any time.

 

「Supplies……?」

 

A strange voice of Makiura leaked out.

The men rushed to the helicopter.

He carried the helicopter’s goods to a place that is a little away while being prompted by the SDF. In those boxes, letters such as food, medicines, water purifier were sprayed with a stencil. While confirming the state of its transport by the SDF officers, they set up rifles with bayonets and continue watching the surroundings.

As the chairman Mizuhashi and Makiura approached, the SDF raised the visor and began talking about something. Sometimes they shake their head and seem to be apoligizing in a couple question.

While looking at the sight at a distance, Mitsuki felt uneasy.

 

(For a thing as a relief resource,…… by the end of the day, isn’t everyone rescued?)

 

That premonition went through.

Because they couldn’t afford the fuel, they can only do one round trip today.

 

「Something like that…」

 

A voice leaks out from anyone in the explanation of Mizuhashi that came back.

 

「I am sorry, but I will carry ahead injured people, sick people today.」

 

A voice of doubt comes up to that word.

 

「Will the helicopters come again?」

「As for that, yes. It seems that we will advance into the city to secure fuel, so rescue will resume as soon as possible on the day after tomorrow.」

「Is that so…… If that’s the case…?」

 

The man who asked a question nods unwillingly.

After confirming that the field had quieted, Makiura began to order transportation. Based on the list, they will nominate each person.

Other people went back to the city hall of supplies and surrounding guards. However, the majority remains.

Many elderly people who had deteriorated disease prevalence were transported. Originally taking medicine with high blood pressure, diabetes etc., it has deteriorated considerably due to the impossible life of the past one and two months. Some people are out of physical condition due to lack of nutrition.

Although Takashi was among the top in the list, due to the number of people, attendance could not accompany. Especially for those who are unwell, only the number of people is at the mercy.

Takashi must be sent out alone. When Mitsuki hesitated to that, Makiura made a difficult face and said.

 

「Takashi’s diagnosis is difficult, but it may be appendicitis. I think that germs have got into places where physical strength is falling, causing inflammation. Originally it can be done with simple surgery or medicine, but here…… I can not expect natural healing, and there is risk of life if concurrent with peritonitis. On the contrary, there is almost no problem in a well-equipped place. Ypu probably worried, but it is safer to leave him.」

「….Yes. I’m sorry. Thank you.」

 

While holding a conflict, Mitsuki nodded.

Makiura winds the band around the arm of the person being conveyed. Name, age, blood type are written. Then hand a bunch of autographs’ charts to the crew members and lower their heads deeply. The men responded with salute.

 

 

Several days have passed since the helicopters flew out.

Mitsuki was supposed to move to another room as most people were gone by transportation in the room near the medical office. It is the same room as Atsushi.

In a room on the third floor, about seven households are getting awake. A roster was set up at the entrance of the room, and the name of Mitsuki was added there.

Atsushi went to the job of the security team, so Mitsuki remained in the room by herself. Several other people are still wandering around in the blanket.

The atmosphere of the room is not very good.

It is still because there is no news of the rescue yet.

Distribution of food is getting quite fewer.

Everyone doesn’t mention openly,  but there is a feeling of uneasiness floating. Especially the newcomer like Mitsuki felt not only a novel gaze but a somewhat negative feeling.

Even if she missed the conversation in the city hall, her emotions for new evacuees are not very good. Immediately after the confluence, those who were happy to be safe and gentle are gradually getting stronger as the distribution of food decreases. Atsushi was also letting a complaint leak. The newcomers are only complaining about it.

Mitsuki felt that I could understand their feelings a little.

Heard that there was rescue, they abandoned their bases. they were treated as a troublesome person, it can not be funny.

 

(Even though there are lots of people……)

 

Compared to the time when she was basking in the small supermarket to a supermarket, this place should be much safer.

 

(Why am I so lonely and uneasy……)

 

There was a terrible loneliness.

When she was in the supermarket, there were only Yusuke and Mitsuki, Takashi and Masaru. However, none of us were frightened by zombies or hunger. Everyone participated in a life and she had a completed sense. There was a hope of living in the mountain, there was a prospect for the future.

It is now one person, surrounded by strangers, holding the knees in this way, hungry to ask for distribution.

 

(In the end, such things like depend on Takemura-san……)

 

Mitsuki smiled at herself.

The words told by Atsushi are still in her ears.

She shouldn’t bother him any more.

It was after Yusuke who helped her where she was besieging at the supermarket, after talking about that story.

They surely be a total stranger before, and now when she joined the group there are no reason be together in this way. Still, Yusuke brought Mitsuki and her brother this and that. She thought it was natural to work under the direction of Yusuke.

It was only one-sided belief of Mitsuki.

It was sudden, and Mitsuki was unable to say goodbye.

 

「Fufu……」

 

Mitsuki laughed at herself

 

(Of coure it is..)

 

She closed her eyes and remembered it.

Thought was paralyzed at that time, and she didn’t notice.

The expression of Yusuke when he knew Masaru’s death.

He could not have felt anything.

She had said such a thing.

 

(You did not protect I say, with this mouth……)

 

She apologized quickly, but Yusuke lightly shook his head and did not say anything. I thought about it now that Yusuke did not do anything, it was the moment when I pushed myself.

And that moment of conviction.

The stomach and legs are shot through, and the man falls to the ground, that sight.

The appearance of a struggling man in the blood puddle, looking down from the upper floor, the look of Yusuke.

The gaze reflects the dawn and seems to burn,

It was very sharp, cold and beautiful.

 

(Un……..)

 

Her chest became painful, Mitsuki clasped her chest.

The hatred of Mitsuki was purified by that coldness.

It is this that came in instead.

 

(Takemura-san…..)

 

She was already aware of her feeling.

And that will not come true.

Herself had no choice but to hold.

While struggling, she was scattering the thought, she felt a sign at the entrance.

She raised her face, Makiura was standing. She lower her head apologetically,

 

「Excuse me. A request for Fujino-san came.」

「A request…. is that?」

「Yes.」

 

While thinking doubtfully, Mitsuki leaves in the hallway while being suggested. Makiura who is kind with the attitude of adults was the other partner who seemed to be able to trust other than Atsushi.

Move to a place without a people by the window, Makiura started talking.

 


「Can you share the food of the underground car?」

「Eh?….」

「I’m truly sorry. Our supplies are running low……. Ashamed to say, I am asking you to do this.」

「Ah, no. That’s fine, but that is what belongs to Takemura-san…..」

 

Makiura made a bitter smile,

 

「I already asked Takemura-san. We conditionally divided half of the supplies.」

「Condition… is it?」

「Yes. Permission to browse materials in city hall and permission to enter each room accompanying it. Including with my signature. Also, on the condition that it runs independently from the steering committee.」

「…………」

「I was also a little surprised. Especially the second one is regrettable, that amount. I can not change my stomach on my back.」

「…..It seems to be Takemura-san」

 

Mitsuki muttered.

Makiura continued the word.

 

「The other half of the supplies, but because that is the belongings of Fujino-san, I heard that Fujino-san was told」

「My……」

 

It was a word she do not even think of.

She had no contact with Yusuke-san from then and she thought that she was already forgotten.

 

「I am aware that it is a grateful request, but would you please offer it if possible? If there is something like Takemura-san’s request, I will respond as much as possible.」

「Not at all…..」

 

Mitsuki loosely shakes her head.

If consuming by herself, the dumping food will have it for a month or two. However, where food circumstances are tight, one person can not imitate such a thing. It will definitely draw troubles and, more than anything, Yusuke is largely releasing food.

If food is more important than anything, Yusuke would not have accepted offering. That means that Yusuke’s decision to provide food to the community is now the best.

And he is doing something now.

Even while he was dropping by himself.

Mitsuki opened her mouth while thinking about it.

 

「Ano…… What will happen to the rescue?」

「…………」

 

Makiura kept silent for a while, but because of food it told her straight away without cheating.

 

「Thank you….. It may be that the fact that it seems stable here has been backfired. Although it was not told in fact, there is a sign that other, urgent places are prioritized and rescued.」

「Is it so…… 」

「Or maybe the fuel problem is not solved. Communication also tends to be interrupted. I told you that food is tough, but the reaction is not good…. A divulgence is unnecessary for this thing, please.」

 

Mitsuki nodded, after thinking for a while, she said.

 

「I understood. I don’t mind the food. Instead, can I get a job?」

 

 

Mitsuki belonged to the hygiene team.

Because the injured people and sick people decreased due to the transport of the SDF, the number of people in the rescue team has been reduced. Instead, the hygiene team had been increased.

Cleaning of rooms and toilets, transportation of water, waste disposal, washing of dirty objects from each group, washing of goods, and so on, there is not enough manpower.

Through the aspect of middle – aged women who are the leaders of the sanitation group, what was first allocated was assistance in transporting water.

It was about a weak college student who wore spectacles with black hair wearing glasses carried water together. Whether it is a retracting personality character, they also do not look into each other eyes.

Because the daily water was supposed to be taken from the river, they put a poly tank in the dolly and headed for the back. From the end of the road surrounding the park, pour a bucket with a rope tied in to the river, handrail, draw water and draw it. Pour it into a poly tank and carry it all the way to the accumulation place on the second floor of the city hall until it became full.

Water in the river was beautiful, because drainage from homes and factories ceased. Although it is not suitable for drinking as expected, it is enough for use in toilets and laundry.

The man silently throws a bucket into the river and raises it. Mitsuki said, looking at his arms gradually getting tired.

 

「Ano, I will do it.」

「N, no, it’s okay.」

 

The man replies as if he had panicked. He didn’t look this way either.

Mitsuki looked at the river on hand as she was unable to help with her work from the previous time. There is a reasonable level of water, wide river. The other side was far away.

When the second poly tank went full, the man breathed and pulled the bucket down. He put a hand on the waist and stretch himself.

The bucket was taken from the side, Mitsuki said.

 

「Please take a little rest.」

「Ah…..yeah. Sorry.」

 

Since the end of the rope is tied to the handrail, you will not lose a bucket even if you take a hand on the flow. All she need is strength. It was hard work to raise the bucket from the surface of the water, but Mitsuki moved her arms while sweating the forehead.

The man looks at the state in a blurred way.

She got some water about three times and another voice caught from behind.

 

「Oi, don’t let girl do that, you lazy, let me do it.」

 

When she turned over, the guard was standing.

 

「Eh, no, ano」

 

A glasses guy covers in a rush.

Mitsuki bacame confused,

 

「Ano, that’s not it. I just asked him to take a break. he was pumped up all the time until before」

「Ah, yes…..」

 

The man alternately looks at the bucket and Mitsuki’s face,

 

「Whatever. Lend that.」

 

He take a bucket from the hands of Mitsuki, without a time to say anything, the bucket was thrown into a river. Then he pulled the rope to the extent, and pulled water into the poly tank. The movement was fast and was energetic.

Looks like that, Mitsuki looks behind the scenes.

When Mitsuki was struggling with something, it was common in high school that boys came from the side and helped her. In the past she did not wonder about it, only thought she was thankful.

Now she couldn’t had such a weak feeling.

It was all overdriven by Yusuke.

But when she was praised she was pleased.

There was no craziness there, only praise for ability and achievement.

 

(So, I was so happy……)

 

Before the world collapsed, her whereabouts were everywhere.

It is not the case now.

She must make her own place.

And Mitsuki learned that in her life with Yusuke,she could get a pride that her whereabouts could stay here by being useful for someone else.

Compared with it, there are plenty of things that are fluffy and unreliable, such as the whereabouts that can be obtained with unfathomable goodwill.

While the man waving his hands, Mitsuki opened her mouth awkwardly. Towards a man of glasses that was vaguely standing,

 

「Ah…. I’m sorry. Because of me.」

「N, no…..」

 

A little silence.

 

「It’s okay I am used to it.」

「Used to it…..?」

「Ah, s, sorry. Please don’t worry about it.」

「Haa…..」

 

It isn’t possible to ask the halfway attitude any more, and they pushed cart back without saying a word.

 

 

They encountered the fuss while lowering water to the collection place and going to return the cart to its original place.

Because the first floor of the city hall is hardly used for zombie invasion, people live upstairs from the second floor. There was a crowd of people in the central lobby on the second floor, places with security guards.

An angry voice raised.

 

「SO RETURNING THE WEAPON! ORIGINALLY IT IS OUR!」

 

The voice of a young man shouted.

In the place of trouble, a few guys in the security team are standing in front of the place with trouble face. There were six or seven men standing around it.

The one who shouted was a young man in his twenties who used a blonde hair mesh to make his hair a ponytail. He is slender, and the height is a little under 170. He was wearing Parker on a well-ordered face, and maybe someone mistook as a woman if had not heard her voice.

A man next door intercepts that man who raised his voice.

 

「Calm down a little. Don’t make it becomes a fight.」

「…………」

 

The mesh man turns his face as if he had been defeated. In the meantime, a man of physique full of flesh workers like a forties advances.

 

「This fellow was rude. I am sorry.」

 

He did not suit the appearance, and the man started talking in a gentle tone.

 

「Just as I said earlier, it’s hard to go empty-handed to get food outside. I just want you to return the tools I have deposited, but is there a problem?」

「….But, without having permission.」

「Then go to get it.」

 

A young man murmures beside him, but an old man crushes and tries.

 

「That’s enough. …..Well then, I’m sorry, but please maintain the story as quickly as possible. I want to go there today.」

「…………」

 

The guard guy walked away silently.

People gradually gather in the lobby whether they heard an uproar. Some guards who have weapons are also wandering around and are watching closely like warning.

However, despite the gaze from such surroundings, the men were calm. Next to the man who seems to be a leader, about 30 late tall men have kept silence for a long time. The mesh man was beside him, staring at the surroundings as if irritated.

While watching the course at the corner of the lobby, Mitsuki remembered the dejavu impression in that group. She have memory that she saw it somewhere.

Thought suddenly come to her mind.

 

(Ah, I see. They are people who were in the first room……)

 

A room in the western government building, which was informed when she evacuated the city hall. It is a group of refugee who were there. I brought in the light in the center of the room, and was chatting noisily. While others tired, it was very conspicuous.

Then silence continued for a while in the lobby, but soon Makiura appeared.

She bring them to use and come walking round the white coat. After checking the flocks of people gathered in the lobby glancingly, she stood in front of a man who seemed to be a leader.

Say in the opening first.

 

「I heard that You will go for food. Is it true?」

「Yes. Therefore, I want the tools returned.”

「It’s dangerous.」

 

In the words, the man scratches his head,

 

「There will be little food left. We must go to secure it while we can move.」

「But….」

「I won’t trouble you. I will do it only by myself. If I fail, that will be reduction of mouths number for you to feed.」

「……I’m sorry for causing a trouble. However, we should look for ways to survive. We still have food and rescue may come tomorrow.」

「Yeah….. you seem to be a good person. But waiting for it, it will be a dilapidation. The help is unreliable.」

「…………」

 

Makiura loses her words and kept silent.

As staring still, the two confront each other.

An unexpected voice came up there.

 

「I will go too.」

 

Mitsuki who was watching from a distance in the crowd emerging from the crowd breathed a breath.

It’s Yusuke.

A man seems to be strange,

 

「You too?」

「You’d better have a lot of hands. I am a newcomer.」

 

Yusuke shrugging his shoulders, the man lifted his mouth corner and laughed.

 

「I’m grateful. Hey, is there anyone else who want to go?」

 

A man looked the surroundings, but the human beings have diverted their eyes. A man of glasses stiffened his body next to Mitsuki, and looking down. No other voice came up, the line of sight went through.

 

「Well, It’s like this…….. It doesn’t matter, right? Sensei」

「…………」

 

Makiura seemed to be troubled, biting her lips.

After worrying about something for a while,

 

「……I’ll negotiate with a committee and make a plan. By my personal judgment……..」

「It will be left unsettled anyway. The first thing is just saying that you should return the deposit. Thank you for providing the roof and food, but we did not belong to your organization. There should be no reason to suppress action.」

 

In the words of a man, Makiura is silent.

Gaze at each of the men slowly, then turn her eyes on Yusuke. The line of sight intersects for just a moment, but Yusuke got out of sight as it seems to be boring.

After a short time,

 

「……Understood.」

 

Makiura dropped her shoulders and said.



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