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Chapter 1: The runaway[1] Ex-Girlfriend leads to Mayhem[edit]

Regardless of everything, the second semester started.

All of tomorrow’s classes before noon were changed into assessment tests. This was different from the usual semester exams, because they didn't specify from which “page xxx of your textbook to page xxx” the questions would be based on. Furthermore, the questions would be designed to make us think hard, in order to test our real potential.

After eating a bento from the convenience store for dinner, I had intended to start studying in my room—but I couldn't concentrate no matter what. My eyes kept slipping away from the summer cram school notes that I was reviewing.

“How will it turn out with Hime….?”

I leaned back on my chair as I massaged my temples with my eyes closed.

The events that happened today were still imprinted in my mind——Hime’s defeated face.

The time Saeko-san saw through our “fakeness”, Hime didn't even doubt us like Chiwa or Fuyuumi did. She was an innocent girl who rarely doubted people.

All along, I had been deceiving this innocent Hime.

Although it was weird to feel it at this stage of the game, I still felt guilty.

From now on, would Hime still look at our fake relationship as if nothing happened? Or would she tell somebody because she couldn't hold it in anymore for some reason?

“……maybe taking responsibility before it comes to that, would be the best choice……”

As I was muttering, I received a text message.

It was from Masuzu.

 

Subject: I’m sad.


Right now, I am pressured by a very very strong sense of guilt.

Using such a dirty way to silence Akishino-san.

I’m useless. I’m Natsukawa Kuzuzu.[2]


“Kuzuzu? That's surprisingly hard to read.”

Just like a team full of useless people, Natsukawa Kuzuzu[3]……just the thought of getting attacked by nine poison-tongued Masuzu's was depressing.

I decided to just reply to her, “I’m also depressed.”

After a few minutes, I received another message.

 

Subject: It’s painful


Aaah, is there someone who could come to hug me right now?

If there were someone who's close to me, mo-nyo.

Someone like a kind boyfriend mo-nyo-nyo.


“……Her true desires are showing at the end of her sentences……”

What’s with this woman, doesn’t she need to worry about grades before exams?

Although I didn’t know when she studied, her results were surprisingly good. I remembered at the first semester’s exam, her results were in the top thirty. Maybe her brain—is what people call “a natural”.[4]

Sadly, I’m not such a person. If I were, my results would've been good since early childhood. Although I felt that this was unfair, complaining wouldn't improve my results.

It won't do before exams——once I replied, Masuzu sent another grumbling mo-nyo-mo-nyo text. But today, I couldn't back down. After replying “I’ll accompany you next time”, she let me off for once.

“Uaah, it’s already this late.”

Although it's already eleven at night, there was no progress in my studies. Usually this would have been my bed time, but it looked like I needed to stay up late tonight.

“Okay, let’s work harder.”

I loudly recited my “three laws” that I had pasted on the wall.

  • Studying comes first!
  • No romance! Love is very dangerous!
  • But, don't let others believe I'm gay.


After I finished reciting, I thought of something:

The only one I managed to uphold was the third one……

Originally I had planned to follow through with the first one, but with all the activities in Jien-otsu, I couldn't stick to it perfectly.

As for the second… it was already utterly broken. 'Have nothing to do with love'? Seriously, it was more like love was chasing all out after me.

Perhaps being misunderstood as gay would have been better.

Maybe Chiwa and the rest would have given up if they thought that my preference was for males.

“Perhaps I should ask Kaoru about this.”

If he knew I had such a troubled story, maybe he would become my “boyfriend.” An eye for an eye, a fake boyfriend for a fake boyfriend.

…….no, that won't do.

Putting myself aside, Kaoru would have to face being talked about behind his back. No matter how popular and nice Kaoru was, if news of him being homosexual got out, he might not be able to continue with his high school life.

As I thought about such random things, the night crept deeper.

The only thing I could do now was study.

Holding my pencil tightly and excluding all my other thoughts, I started doing English test questions.

 


“Ei-kun. I said, Ei-kun!”

I, who had fallen asleep on the table, was woken up by Chiwa in her uniform.

I couldn't remember what time I slept. There was a pile of drool on my notebook, and all the vocabulary and grammar I learned over the summer looked like drowned worms.

“You can’t do this. You have to sleep on the bed or else you'll catch a cold?”

“Right now it still feels like summer, so nothing can go wrong.”

I wiped my drool off with my arm. The sunlight that shined through the window was strong, and looked like it would be another hot day.

“I brought my mom’s sandwich, do you want some?”

“Oh, thank you—“

“I’ll wait for you, come down quickly.”

After changing into my uniform, a pleasant smell came from the living room. Scrumptious-looking warm milk and handmade sandwich by Chiwa's mom were on the table. Since I was little, I had always liked Chiwa's mom’s egg sandwich. The sourness and crunchiness of the onions was irresistible.

As I was eating breakfast with Chiwa, I asked her what I had on my mind the entire day yesterday,

“Did you guys meet up when I wasn't there?”

Chiwa's hand, which was approaching towards the sandwiches, stopped immediately.

“Wh-Why do you bring that up now? And who does 'you guys' refer to?”

“Isn't that obvious? The maiden's club from Jien-otsu.”

“Oh yeah——It's not like I can say 'no' to that...... maybe?”

Chiwa shifted her eyes embarrassingly.

“Just what did you guys talk about?”

“Nothing much——you know, the usual girl talk——fashion accessories, gossip about relationships going on in school——I think Ei-kun would find that kind of stuff boring——?”

“Hmm…….”

Whenever Chiwa drags out the last syllable, she's always hiding something.

“But, Ei-kun, I can tell you this.”

“What?”

“The maidens from Jien-otsu get along really well, and we can unite together!”

For some reason Chiwa's chest puffed with pride.

“…Repulsive.”

“Eh! What do you mean by repulsive?”

“Don’t you guys always fight when you’re together? Especially you and Masuzu."

“That’s why I said it’ll be different from today on! We’ll get along really well——okay?”

Chiwa's smile looked a bit unnatural.

Masuzu and Hime also said the same thing yesterday. Something definitely happened between these four girls when I wasn't with them.

“Why did you ask, Ei-kun?”

“……It's nothing, I just felt curious.”

I couldn't tell her about my conversation with Masuzu and Hime yesterday, so I just simply covered it up.

“Ei-kun, can I ask you something as well?”

“Sure, what?”

“If you can't say it, you can choose not to answer……”

Chiwa hesitated, which she rarely does, and spoke with her eyes unfocused.

“Just now when I was using your kitchen, I saw some serious-looking scratches on the wall behind the dish rack. What happened?”

Ah, that?

Because I didn't want any recollection of it, I moved the rack to cover it up during the summer. I completely forgot about it until now.

“That was the result of a couple’s fight. Roughly last spring, my mom threw plates at my dad, and this was what it left behind.”

“……sounds like a fierce fight……”

“Back then, they fought over 'Half of the money we used to buy this house is from my family!', 'I knew we could get it at such a cheap price only because I asked a contractor!' and the likes, so ruining the house is really ironic.”

Just thinking about it was bad enough.


I really hated allowing such people to dominate my life.

I must absolutely become someone who runs his own life. I will not let the same situation happen where I dance to the tune of those love-struck types.

“Also, Ei-kun.”

“Hmm?”

Chiwa shifted her body uncomfortably, and stared at me with her eyes gazing upwards.

“I think Ei-kun’s parents are special cases.”

“Eh?”

“Although there are many couples or lovers with bad relationships, there are more who do not.”

“That much, I understand.”

Although I said that, it felt as if I wasn't truly convinced by that answer.

After all I’m an anti-love———just where is this "perfect relationship?” I did feel some disdain for this topic.

Even though the cause for this was the separation of my parents, recently I felt there was more to it. I could understand just by looking at Masuzu because I was the same as her. It was as if there was something more twisted in our hearts than in others.

As for what that was, I didn't know myself.

Chiwa tried to lighten the atmosphere by changing the topic.

“Let’s not talk about this anymore. Have you been eating well recently, Ei-kun? Why is there only food from the convenience store in the rubbish bin?”

“Still alright.”

I didn't feel like making food when I was alone, so I just ate simply.

“That won't do! With lack of sleep and nutrition, your body will deteriorate. You have to sleep and eat properly.”

“I know, just shut up.”

Without noticing, my voice turned unpleasant.

Chiwa lowered her eyelids sadly.

“I’m really, really worried about you…”

Oh—shit.

These eyes, were eyes that are shown when you’re really hurt.

“I apologize, I said too much. I'm at fault.”

Chiwa shook her head.

“I don’t mind it at all, but you have to take better care of yourself. If you ruin your own body, you can’t perform in studies or club activities. Even if you have to stay up late, at least eat well, okay?”

Umm——I let Chiwa worry about my diet.

Somehow, it's like our roles had reversed.

“Ah, it’s about time we leave.”

Chiwa stood up and started cleaning the table. I looked at the time…… Uooh, this is bad. I wanted to go to school earlier to study for the test, but I ended up at leaving at the regular time.

I left home with Chiwa. When we met the students who were also rushing to school at the school gate, I saw a familiar back.

Shining under the sun was the black hair, bouncing around on her back.

It was Hime.

But it was different from usual.

She had a long thing strapped on her back, covered with a purple cloth. The item inside was unknown. Which class would need that kind of thing?

“Himecchi, did you get hurt?”

Like Chiwa said, Hime's left arm was bandaged. But the quality of work was bad, and the end of the bandage flapped in the wind. No matter how one looked, it was made by an amateur.

“But it seems weird. If it’s a fracture or a sprain, you'd have to use a cast to fix it in place, so is it a burn?”

Chiwa, who had experience in injuries, tilted her head in wonder——However I have some ideas about this issue.

The reason for those meaningless bandages.

That huge thing strapped to her back.

……I could think of why this might be.

“Wait there, that first year!”

Hime wanted to go into the school earlier than us, but was stopped by the disciplinary duo who was in charge of promoting the “Greet others campaign.” They were also there when Fuyuumi wanted to shut down the club: the third year with the ponytail, and the second year with the glasses.

But Hime didn’t look at them, and tried to walk away.

“Hey, you, wait up!”

Ponytail-senpai went to grab Hime’s left shoulder.

Hime instantly evaded, open her arms, stood on one leg and struck a pose—

The pose of the eagle.


“Don’t touch my sword! Do you want to get possessed by a dragon curse?”


I suddenly felt sweat rolling down.

Hime and ponytail-senpai started pushing each other, and the other students all stopped to watch the scene.

Chiwa ran towards them, grabbed Hime from behind, and pulled her away.

“Calm down, Himecchi! What happened to you?”

“Don’t get near to me, human! ku…… I can’t! I can’t suppress the, the urge, to, kill!”

Hime shook off Chiwa, fell to the floor, started rolling around, and knocked her forehead on the sign which had the school name. She fell quite beautifully, and voices echoing “Ohhh—” rang around us.

I ran to her wanting to check if she was okay, but Hime instantly stood up, her forehead still red.

“I said don’t come close to me, I can’t guarantee your safety, Villager A-ta.”

“Vil-villager?”

"I'm not Burning Fighting Fighter anymore?"——I was about to say this, but then I remembered it. Right, previously, to make Hime hate me, I made myself “Villager A who was given the memories of being the Burning Fighting Fighter,” but the effect was the opposite of what I hoped.

“Right now I’m not Burning Prin Princess—|

Hime started swinging the stick on her right hand. Ah, that was dangerous. Chiwa and I stood back three steps to evade it.

“I’m the blood-stained crazy fighter ‘Burning Prin Princess • Genocide mode’! An!”

Once the swinging stick hit the gate, Hime gave out a cute scream and let go. Her hand was probably numb from the impact. What a weak warrior.

“What, what do you mean by genocide? What do you want to do with that stick!”

Ponytail-senpai had sweat on her forehead, and she asked Hime with slightly shaking legs.

“Hmph! Only the sword knows the fate of the sword……that’s right, only this “Raijin Slayer” knows.”[5]

Hime picked up the fallen stick, and she suddenly held it with both her hands into the air. Her voice didn't seem firm. Could it be because her character was not complete yet?”

“Be careful, Wyverns. Right now I won’t be as soft as before, because I've thrown away my kind heart and exchanged it with the powerful Genocide mode!”

“Don’t be stupid! You'll affect your future like this!”

“This mode’s power is ‘lightning.’ It can release a power equivalent to twelve times the power of a thunder in this world with a single strike!”

“Then you can work in the electrical company, can’t you?”

What a good senpai, guiding Hime so seriously.

There were a lot of people around the two, as almost every student stopped to watch.

After a while, someone easily parted a road through the crowd like Moses——Fuyuumi was finally here.

“Wait, just what is happening here?”

“Well, I also want to ask that.”[6]

“Why today, out of all days? Has the chuunibyou worsened?”

Also, Hime's embarrassing moves usually only appeared in front of us. I heard she was quiet and did not stand out in Class 2, and she certainly was not the kind of people to make such decorated performance.

What happened to her today then?

It was just like letting go of something in front of the crowd———no, it’s she like gave up on herself.

“Anyway, Hime-chan, give me that stick!”

Her master, Fuyuumi, came close, and Hime held her Raijin Slayer close while moving back.

“Sorry master, I cannot return to the usual peaceful life any more.”

“What are you saying? You think you can become popular with that kind of thing?”

Chuunibyou vs. Love-struck mind. Although this was an interesting match up, I couldn't leave myself out of this since Hime was involved.

“Whatever, just give it to me!”

“No. A human won't be able to handle this sword.”

They both started pulling at the stick, and the purple cloth covering it loosened. The thing inside that came out was a fishing pole. I didn't know what it could do against the Wyverns, but looked like it could catch a lot of eels.

Because the cloth came off, Hime and Fuyyumi who were pulling at it fell almost simultaneously. Fuyuumi, who was pulling harder, knocked her head on the electrical pole, and made a loud sound; it sounded kind of painful.

Hime managed to escape because she was weaker, and stood up before Fuyuumi who was clutching on her head in pain. She looked at Fuyuumi apologetically————but she immediately looked down, picked up her fishing pole and cloth, and walked towards the school gate.

“Hey, Hime-chan! Wait! Listen to what I'm saying!”

Fuyuumi finally stood up with some effort, but her voice didn't reach Hime.

“What could have happened to Himecchi?”

Chiwa tilted her head, looking disturbed.

In the crowd, looking at the drama, I saw Masuzu. She was looking at Hime's back with a troubled look.

It looked like things were going in an unexpected direction.

 

Translator notes and references[edit]

  1. Jump up↑ The title can imply that the "runaway" can be run rampant
  2. Jump up↑ くず is trash, Masuzu replaced ます(真) of her name into “くず”
  3. Jump up↑ Kuzuzu is supposed to sound similarly to the way sports teams are named ("zu-zu"). So it's kind of like, "Team Trash".
  4. Jump up↑ the expression he uses is like "it(knowledge) comes naturally to them"
  5. Jump up↑ Raijin means Dragon God
  6. Jump up↑ this Keita



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