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Chapter 90

Earnest feelings are really strong, regardless of how pure they are .



            The former Mariabell dyed her hands with many evil deeds to get her hands on the one she desired .

            Her unsightly acts made you want to cover your eyes but she was always serious . Seriously hurting and seriously enjoying herself .

            And so, Christine-sama is the same . She seriously wants to defeat me . She doesn’t care how I feel, but she wants to push me aside since I seem like I’d get in the way of her standing next to Runa . Without asking others, selfishly, for her self-satisfaction . That’s why she can go so far and be so straightforward . She is moving seriously in a straight line, changing into whatever will help her fulfill her goals .

            If this were a shoujo manga, Christine-sama would be the heroine and I would be the rival . Well, this is the world of an otome game and I was originally the villainess, so it’s not far from that .

            However–sorry– there is one important point that differs .

            Whether it’s a shoujo manga, an otome game, a heroine, a rival, or a villainess, there’s something they all have in common .

            I don’t even like Runa; I’m not even aiming for him out of self-interest!

            “That’s all I wanted to talk about . I didn’t want to win without saying anything and then tell you ‘a loser like you is unsuitable’ afterwards . ”

            I wish you had told me sooner . Well actually, I wanted you to win without dragging me into it . If you were going to go and have misunderstandings on your own, you should have just misunderstood my intentions and gone ahead and won the match on your own .

            By the way, if it were Mariabell, she would have done that . She would have won and then after the match she would have dragged her target in and started throwing insults at them . In the game, the heroine ended up competing but if she hadn’t, Mariabell definitely would have used the opportunity to insult her . Mariabell was a shoo-in to win after all .

            “Well then, good day to you . ”

            “Eh, wai-”



            Nothing is alright…! Hold on, don’t just end the conversation!

            I wanted to say that, but the words were stuck in my throat . I really wanted to say it but, I couldn’t think of anything to say afterwards . In the end, I just had a useless hand raised towards Christine-sama’s back as she walked out the door and disappeared .

            Well, no matter what I say, she probably wouldn’t believe me .

            Being Runa’s fiancée, it’s a position that would cause hands to come out of many noble ladies’ throat . [TN: hands coming out of your throat is an imagery for desire] If Runa were scum or trash, I wonder if it would be different… In reality, he’s cool, calm, has a strong sense of justice, and is a deep, earnest lover…? . His appearance alone makes him someone to be sought after .

            Well, not for me .

            “This is the worst…”

            Written as the utmost evil, the worst . [This is a reference to kanji, 最悪 is written using the characters the utmost and bad/evil] . My life in the automode was the worst, but that word suits the present situation right now .

            Right now, in my head, there are three evils circulating . There are three ultimate terrors destroying me and I feel like I’m falling apart . Each and every one together is the ultimate Gestalt destruction . [TN: Honestly I have no idea what she’s saying . Gestalt is a psychology thing about parts coming together as a whole . So, I think she’s saying that the three terrors together are magnifying each other . ]

            “Ah…”

            Come to think of it, Keito is waiting for me . That was the only thing the last of my logic could muster . How long did I spend talking to Christine-sama? It felt like I was talking to her for three hours but… . maybe it was only thirty minutes .

            It felt like a long time ago that I was playing in the dirt with Keito, but in reality it was just a bit ago . My daily life quickly went from normal to hell in a split second .

            Anyway, I should quickly return to Keito .



            I rewashed my hands again to calm my fingers, which had become cold .

× × × ×

            “Welcome back, you’re late . ”

            “……… . ”

            “…… . Maria?”


            Thanks to Keito’s voice, I was able to snap out of it and gather myself . My mind had gone blank due to my encounter with Christine but, it looks like it returned .

            Keito’s voice calmed me down and so my feet stopped moving . Keito, who had stood up from the bench, could tell that something was wrong when I didn’t approach him . My heart was not here . The sight in front of me seemed so far away . It looks like the damage from earlier events still remained .

            “Did something happen?”

            With his own bag and my bag slung over his shoulder, he peered into my face . He got closer to my face than normal . “His face is as pretty as always,” I thought for some reason .

            His tone was without doubt and full of assertion; was he asking a question or interrogating me? Usually he would be strong and fearless, but a rare expression of bewilderment was on his face .

            Due to the shock, my brain wasn’t working properly but, I was still surprised by Keito . I have cried and clung to him before, and when I tried to hide I would definitely get caught, but I’ve rarely acted so listlessly before . The way I’m acting right now, even people besides Keito would be able to tell that something was wrong .

            “Hey, Keito . ”

            “Yeah, what?”

            “Is there a way to catch a cold and sleep for four days during the school festival?”

            “… . What?”

            He was making another rare, puzzled face . I often surprise or amaze him, but never like this, especially not over and over again . It was certainly a valuable expression .

            I was about ten percent serious about what I said though . It wasn’t really that crazy but, I really do want to crush my health somehow .

            “… It’s impossible… I think . Appointing a specific day is impossible, but first of all, Maria, you don’t catch colds . ”

            “Yeah, I thought so…”

            “It’s a different story if a cold is going around though… You’ve only ever caught a cold once right . And that was because you caught it from me . ”

            I think that happened when I was around 6 years old . I had a very high fever so my memory is a little fuzzy, but I remember Keito being the first one to be stuck in bed . We were together every day, so I caught it . Apparently I was scolded by the doctor, and Keito came to apologize to me too .

            I didn’t mind at all though… I do remember him worrying too much about it . Besides, Keito was in elementary school so he probably caught it from someone there . Or maybe he got it from somewhere else . In the first place, I went and caught it on my own anyway .

            Above all, thanks to that experience of my body breaking apart, I didn’t have to go to Soleil-sama’s birthday party… Though in the end I had to go to Runa’s birthday party and had the worst encounter anyway .

            Since that one time, I’ve never gotten sick again and have had a healthy body . Maybe it’s because I didn’t interact with other people much, so when Keito got sick in elementary school I ended up catching it . And so, because of that one time, Keito never let me come near him ever again if he was sick .

            “Maybe I’ll fake it . ”

            “Faking something like that is impossible, right?”

            “Uwaaaa… . ”

            There’s nothing I can do, I can’t think of a single solution . If I can’t rest in my room, then I have no choice but to withdraw… It seems like if I do, it’ll get even more troublesome in the future .

            Most importantly, all events conducted on campus are managed by the student council . There are people who handle the entrants but, the student council handles all information . The special feature of the culture festival is the contest so the names of the participants are definitely being leaked . So, my natural enemy is there . There’s no way HE would let such an interesting development escape from him .

            Furthermore, if I show an attitude where I don’t want to appear in the contest, he would happily make plans to force me to appear . He’s that kind of man . Someone who is familiar with the underworld would know exactly what people dislike . A person who knows pain can become kind, but that also means they know exactly what people hate after all .

            So, if I act like I hate it in front of him and say it to him straight, there’s no way I would be able to escape and he would definitely make me appear on stage . He would close all the doors and block every means of escape . No doubt .

            “Seriously, what’s wrong? What happened?”

            “… . It seems like… I’ll be appearing in the Ozcon…”

            As the words left my mouth, I could fear the despair within me grow… . Not saying it out loud was my final form of resistance . I had a little bit of hope that there was a possibility of it not happening . By the way, I am definitely not lucky .

            Maybe the words that came out of my mouth weren’t easy to understand . Keito still had a puzzled expression . I could see that he didn’t seem to comprehend my words . I feel the same, seriously, I understand what you’re feeling . ”

            “Umm… Why?”

            “That’s what I want to know . ”





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