4
—The blushing bride is waiting for her Prince Charming to come take her away.
After claiming to be a messenger sent by Emilia, that was what Al said.
Subaru caught his breath and then slowly chewed it over.
“Don’t gimme that ‘I wouldn’t lie to you’ bullshit. There’s no way Emilia would say something that on point. Don’t make me kick your ass.”
“Sheesh, the two of you together couldn’t find a funny bone if it smacked you in the face. Got me worrying I’m losing my edge.”
“Like I give a damn about your edge! Quit screwing around, man…”
Al could not hide his disappointment, his shoulders slumping as Subaru shouted. Subaru started to approach him to seriously demand what he really meant, when—
“—General!”
“Whoa?!”
He was stopped by a bolt out of the blue that came tumbling into the room and ran straight into him. Subaru took a big step back to keep from being bowled over by the unintentional tackle. Somehow managing to stay on his feet, when he looked down at his waist, he saw a blond mop of hair clinging to him. Between the shout and the hair, he quickly realized it was the little-brother figure he had not seen for a few hours.
“Garfiel! You were all right! Where’d you come from all of a sudden…?”
“That’s my line! You were…and I…I was…!”
“Wh-whoa, are you crying…?”
From the way his voice was catching and how he was hiding his face, Subaru was worried he might be crying, but Garfiel looked up with his face all disheveled.
“I’m not crying! I was a little on edge is all…! You and Bro and Lady Emilia and Beatrice and everyone were all…”
His eyes were just barely still dry, but he was red all the way to the ears, almost failing to hold back the tears that were threatening to come bubbling up. But this was not the time or place to be teasing him. It was plain to see exactly how distraught Garfiel had been.
Everyone he had come to Pristella with had been either unconscious or missing. And on top of that, he had come as a guard, and yet he was the only one who had made it out safe. Just imagining the despair he must have been feeling was plenty uncomfortable. And in the end, he had spent the past several hours not listening to Anastasia or anyone else and constantly searching all over the city for Subaru.
“I’m sorry for worrying you. But as you can see, I’m okay. Though I came back a little darker in some places…”
“Huh? Darker? What do you…?”
“We can discuss that later. So is it just a coincidence that you showed up at almost the same time as Garfiel?” Subaru asked Al as he patted Garfiel’s head.
“I can wait if you want,” Al said, cocking his head. “This is your moving reunion with your little bro, right? Take your time.”
“A part of me is screaming that this probably can’t wait. So what is it?”
“Well, in that case… Yeah, you ain’t wrong. I agreed to deliver your princess’s message, but it’s not like I can just be casually wandering about, you know?” Al nodded in confirmation before alluding to the dangerous state of the city.
He most likely was referring to the demi-beasts prowling the streets in search of prey, and perhaps he even meant people who had lost control and were acting under the impulses of Sirius’s Authority, too.
“So you just happened to encounter Garfiel while headed here?” Julius asked.
“…I was searching for the general since he got swept up in the water, but because of the floodgate opening, the whole city got sloshed, and I couldn’t track his scent. I was still desperately lookin’ for any new scent, but just when I thought I found somethin’ similar…”
“It was me. I wish I could show you how fast he just deflated. It’s not like I did anything wrong, either, but I still felt kinda bad,” Al explained lightheartedly.
But it was no laughing matter for Garfiel, and as expected, he glared at Al angrily.
“Who asked you, coward? And I sure as hell wouldn’t be bringin’ ya here if ya didn’t claim to have a message from Lady Emilia.”
“That makes two of us. It’s not like I wanted to go out of my way and come here if she hadn’t asked me to deliver a message. I haven’t even found my own princess yet.”
Between Al’s going his own way before the city hall fight and this most recent spat, he and Garfiel did not get along well. Subaru slipped between the two of them, holding Garfiel back as he started to snap at Al.
“Quit making fun of someone not even half your age. And if you’re still looking for Priscilla, I ran into her in the fourth district. She was there with Liliana, the Songstress, going around to all the shelters looking for that Schult kid.”
“Really? Weird how we ran into each other’s masters like that. Was she all right?”
“It looked like she was doing fine. She’s a weird one.”
Subaru had originally chalked Priscilla up as unaffected by Sirius’s Authority due to some inherent inability to empathize with others, but he’d eventually realized that wasn’t really the case. Which meant either there were differences in how much it affected individuals, or else—
“We’ve gotten a little off track, but…do you really have a message from Emilia? Or was that just another one of your bad jokes?”
Growing increasingly exasperated by the aimless conversation, Anastasia finally asked Al for the message directly.
“The former,” Al said as he scratched the visor of his helmet. “I wasn’t lying about her waiting to be saved, either, but that’s not the main point. Since she was up close and personal with the enemy, she seized the chance to gather some information about their positioning and managed to get word back to us.”
“She did what? …Emilia-tan? She did something that smart?”
“You’re Lady Emilia’s knight, are you not? You should take more care when speaking of your master,” Julius scolded.
Still, Al’s message from Emilia was unexpected in any number of ways. Most importantly, the information she had passed along would be unfathomably useful.
“Lust is in the control tower in the first district, and there is a white-haired Archbishop in the third district. She also said the white-haired guy didn’t have any cultists with him. And that you have to take care of Beatrice.”
“Those are all pretty important, even that last bit…and that’s a huge help, actually.”
Emilia had somehow managed to figure out where two of the Archbishops were stationed and had successfully passed her findings to Al. Knowing how impossible Regulus was to deal with, it wasn’t hard for Subaru to imagine the dangers she must’ve braved in order to secure that information.
But—
“How did you manage to get in contact with her? There’s no way you could have just stumbled into each other out on the street.”
“Like I said before, it was just by chance. The stars were all aligned or something. I was out walking around in the city when I picked up a conversation mirror that the cultists were using. And it happened to connect to her.”
“How lucky can you be…?”
Al’s explanation was lacking, and it was clear he had no intention of being more forthcoming. But it was not an out-and-out lie, and it clearly wasn’t a joke or just him shooting the breeze, either. Subaru could sense a certain seriousness to Al’s response that made him trust it.
“I know it’s weird to say when I’m the one who brought this guy here, but are you seriously gonna take him at his word, General?”
“I believe him. The last bit about being worried for Beatrice sounds exactly like something she’d say.”
“ ”
“That’s not enough to be sure, but…I’d like to think Emilia would do her best and not give up, even in this crappy situation.”
If she could be that single-mindedly positive and believe in Subaru despite everything that had happened, then he would give his all and try to save her in the same way.
“Though, it would be nice if she didn’t overdo it and try anything too reckless, either…”
“I’m with you there, man. She’s way too energetic for someone stuck behind enemy lines.”
Judging from Al’s reaction after he’d actually spoken with Emilia, she was not at all acting the part of the damsel in distress, even if she seemed like she was born to play one in some theater show or movie. If anything, that unusual bravery was just like her, which made Subaru proud.
“Anyway, that was her message, so my job’s done here… So what are all you doin’ here, and what’s that huge metia for?”
“Naturally, this is the headquarters for the take-back-the-city-from-the-cultists squad. And the metia back there is a broadcast device that can carry a voice to the entire city… It’s our trump card for turning this thing around.”
“You don’t say.” Al chuckled at Subaru’s self-assured response.
On the other hand, Garfiel was shocked enough for the both of them. His sharp fangs were trembling as he looked at Subaru.
“Did you think of something that can turn everything around, General?”
“Yeah, something that might have a decent shot— Do you know how to use this metia, Anastasia? Or if not you, does anyone else?” Subaru asked as he looked over at it.
“…Something like this wouldn’t be too hard for me to get going,” Anastasia responded.
Subaru nodded to himself as he continued looking around the room. Garfiel and Al, plus Julius and Anastasia—four people who were well suited for sounding out his idea.
“As you all know, Wrath’s Authority is currently putting everyone inside the shelters around the city on edge, and these places are ready to blow. It’s okay as long as they’re still just smoldering, but there’s no telling when they might go off.”
“Yeah, you’ve got that right. I checked in on a bunch of them while lookin’ for you, but…”
Garfiel’s expression clouded. He must have seen something unsettling in the short time that he’d been running around. It looked like he was struggling to stay calm, as if there was something bothering him besides his general concern for their friends.
Subaru noticed it but decided to keep the focus on the current topic first. If things went the way Subaru was imagining, then whatever was bothering Garfiel might be resolved in the process, too.
“Between the cultists’ broadcast and the current state of the city…it’s only expected that everyone’s worries would balloon while they’re stuck far from home and forced to hide out without any sign of things getting better. And that only gets worse when people are crammed into a small space together. The shelter system is actually stoking the fire…though, even without them, people would end up congregating anyway, I guess.”
“That is the most insidious aspect of Wrath’s ability. It makes you feel more alone, eats away at your heart, and even threatens your life. It’s absolutely unforgivable,” Julius commented with quiet anger.
Anastasia glanced over at him as she touched a hand to her fox scarf, then looked at Subaru.
“—I have a good idea what exactly it is you are thinking of doing.”
“Well, yeah. I mean, I did come all the way up here to make sure the metia was still functioning, after all,” Subaru said, grinning awkwardly as he scratched his head.
Al and Julius also caught on from their exchange and turned toward the metia in the back of the room. Garfiel alone hadn’t figured it out yet, cocking his head in confusion.
“What…? What are you planning to do, General?”
“Basically, Bro is thinking of turnin’ Wrath’s Authority on its head.”
“Huh? What does that mean…?”
“—Sirius’s ability is amplifying the unease that all the residents of the city are feeling. And Lust’s nasty broadcast was what lit the fuse. In which case…”
“We just need to inspire people’s hopes the same way that the cultists preyed on their fear.” Julius said, finishing the thought, and Subaru nodded in hearty agreement.
Sirius’s Authority shared and amplified people’s emotions—but that was all it did. While it could heighten existing emotions, it couldn’t do anything to emotions that weren’t already there.
And if that was true, then if they could just paint over the unease and fear running rampant through the city and replace it with hope…
“That hope would spread and fill the city instead.”
“—! Ohhhhh! That’s right! If you do that, no one’ll start killing one another! And all the people who’ve given up will feel better…!” Garfiel’s eyes shone as he punched his fists together in front of his chest. There was a resounding crack as they hit. “Time to make it happen!” Garfiel grinned. “We’ve got the metia right here. No point wasting time. Let’s do it now…”
“Wait. It ain’t that simple. It’s not like I didn’t consider that option, too.” Anastasia cut in, putting the brakes on the idea.
“Huh? Why are you stopping us? You know what’s happening out there right now.”
“Yes, I do, and I’ve thought about it at least as much as you have. But that’s exactly why I can’t just say do as you please… How do you think the cultists will react when they hear the broadcast?”
Garfiel gulped.
“The floodgate opened after we attacked city hall, almost like it was meant as retaliation or like they wanted to show what happens when people go against them. If that happens again, they might not close the gates next time.”
“I’m worried about that, too…but there’s something about that theory that doesn’t quite fit.”
While agreeing with her concern, Subaru glanced at Julius.
“Yes?” Julius’s eyes narrowed. “Allow me to ask, what is it that seems off to you?”
“…I was unconscious, so I can’t really say for sure, but the person who got transformed into a black dragon carried Crusch and me away from Capella, and right after that the floodgate opened, and the water interrupted the fighting. That’s when I fell into the water. Does that sound about right?”
“Yes. That matches what I remember of the events. What of it?”
“Doesn’t the order of events seem kinda off? And which floodgate was it that opened?”
“Which floodgate? If I recall, it was the one in the first quart… Ah.”
As she thought back to answer Subaru’s question, Anastasia’s eyes widened. A moment later, Julius also murmured, “Oh-ho.”
“The first district’s gate was the one that opened. But if Lady Emilia’s information is correct, then that would be…”
“But Lust wasn’t in the tower then, right? And the timing of the gate opening doesn’t make sense at all. Because the flooding was what helped us escape, and then it closed again immediately after, right? It’s true that the cultists don’t act super consistently, but there should still be some logic to what they do.”
It would be foolish to write off everything the cultists did as irrational just because they were cultists. The Archbishops all acted on thought patterns that were incomprehensible to normal people, but each still followed their own twisted logic or set of rules.
And in that context, opening the floodgate at that point just did not make any kind of sense at all. It was almost like someone else with a different goal had been behind it.
Of course, it was possible that that whole line of thought was off base, but—
“They left the metia here without breaking it. And after we were gone, they even sent out another broadcast before leaving. They had plenty of time to break this if they wanted to.”
“So are you saying that us using the metia is part of their calculations? What could they possibly get out of that…?” Anastasia’s voice trembled as she tried to understand.
“—They don’t have a reason for anything,” Al cut in with a husky voice. Then, as if regretting his unintentional remark, he clicked his tongue in annoyance. When he caught Subaru looking at him, he shook his head slowly. “They don’t care one bit about anything we do. They’ve never lost, and they’ve never even considered the possibility. A dragon doesn’t give a damn what some ants crawling around its feet are planning,” Al spat.
He sounded awfully confident in his analysis.
“ ”
Al looked away as if he had said something he shouldn’t have. His behavior was very unusual lately. Was it because of Wrath’s Authority? If so, what was being amplified? Anger? Sadness?
The only thing Subaru could say for sure was that Al had given them advice about the Archbishop of Sloth before they had gone to the tower before. It was clear he knew something about the Witch Cult that he wasn’t sharing. But even if he pressed Al on it, it was clear as day he wouldn’t answer.
Right as that thought crossed Subaru’s mind—
“—Let’s go for the broadcast plan, then.”
“Anastasia…”
Perhaps having reached the same conclusion as Subaru, Anastasia changed her vote.
The main strike against the plan was that they didn’t know how the cultists would react. But if she was satisfied on that point, then there was just one hurdle left.
“So who do we get to do the broadcast, and what do they say to inspire the townsfolk?”
“Who…?” Subaru furrowed his brow and looked over at the metia.
The broadcast would have to inspire hope in the people around the city and blow away the unease eating at their hearts. The person best suited for that—
“Aren’t you perfect for the job, Anastasia? You’re a royal-selection candidate and famous around these parts to boot. If you tell them we’re still fighting the good fight, then…”
“It really pains me to say this, since it’s practically admitting I’m not good enough, but I don’t think you should really expect me saying somethin’ here to have that big of an effect.”
“ ”
Anastasia outright rejected Subaru’s suggestion. He couldn’t understand why, though. She was one of the candidates for the throne. It had been announced all throughout the country, so the people in Pristella would all recognize her. And she was famous enough that few could claim to be as well-known as she was in the whole kingdom, let alone in Pristella.
“If all we were talking about was fame, then sure, I’d be a solid choice. If that was all it took, then I’d gladly say whatever I had to. But that just ain’t how these things go. My name doesn’t have the sway to rid people of their fear of the cultists. I’m better than someone they’ve never heard of, but only just.”
“B-but—!”
“That’s not enough, and you know it. They need hope. The kind of hope that can blow away all their fears and convince them to stand up again.”
Subaru was speechless. Honestly, he wanted to tell her she wasn’t being strong-willed enough and that she should reconsider. But it was painfully obvious that she was the one most disappointed in herself for her lack of power.
“ ”
Seeing her small fists white and trembling as she clenched them tight, Subaru tamped down his irritation. She hadn’t spoken up without thinking. It was the opposite. After thinking it through from every angle, she had correctly judged that she was not the right person for the job.
“If it was enough to just trick them, then it wouldn’t be impossible. I could probably convince half the people listening. But that’s not what you want to do, right? You’re the one who didn’t want to cut our losses before we even tried anything.”
“That’s… In that case, what about Crusch? She had a gravitas to her words during the ceremony at the castle and during the White Whale fight, too. If it’s her, then…”
“…Yeah, if it were her, then that might be enough. But we’re talking about the Crusch from back then. She doesn’t have that same gravitas now, and in her current state, we can’t drag her up here and stand her in front of the metia anyway.”
“ ”
Subaru was the only one who hadn’t been able to confirm her condition with his own eyes, so he didn’t know what was causing Anastasia’s pained expression or the pity drawn on Julius and Garfiel’s faces.
Ferris and Wilhelm’s grief from earlier flickered at the back of his mind.
“Then what about you, Julius? You could…”
“Apologies, but I cannot meet your expectations.”
“Mm-hmm… I’m proud of my knight, and he’s certainly an elite member of the Royal Guard. But how well do his personal accomplishments stack up when it comes to dealing with the Witch Cult? If we’re just talking fame, then I’m more famous, and if you wanted skill at speaking, then I’d still be more likely to succeed.”
Crusch could not fill the role, and both Julius and Anastasia shot down the possibility of putting Julius forward. In that case, the only choices left were Wilhelm and Ricardo, or maybe if they could pull Priscilla or Liliana away from their tour of all the shelters in the city—
“…Ummm…”
As Subaru struggled with all the options being shot down after they’d finally come up with a way to deal with Wrath, Garfiel raised his hand. His clear green eyes widened as he looked straight at Subaru.
“—Is there any reason you can’t do it, General?”
“…Huh?”
Subaru was completely caught off guard. He opened his mouth, not totally sure what he had just heard. He could not believe that Garfiel would joke around in a situation like this—
“ ”
But that thought shattered when he was faced with the gleam in the boy’s straightforward gaze. A blank formed as his thoughts crumbled. And Garfiel stepped firmly into that opening.
“There’s no one but you. Not a royal-selection candidate, not a knight from the Royal Guard, and not the famed Sword Devil. You. I mean…it’s obvious.”
“Garfiel…”
“You’re the one who has already defeated a Witch Cult Archbishop—you defeated Sloth. No one else’s got that to their name. And right now, that means more…it means more than anythin’.”
There was passion in Garfiel’s voice, and his gaze grew gradually more intense. Gritting his teeth, he looked up at Subaru pleadingly.
“Here’s a man who’s already beat one Archbishop in this town occupied by cultists. There can’t be anyone better for the job. Maybe the Sword Saint Reinhard if he were here, but there’s only Subaru Natsuki! You’re the only one, General!” Garfiel spread his arms, almost howling.
“Ngh!”
Overwhelmed by the force of his words, Subaru unconsciously took a step back, bumping into someone standing right behind him. Glancing back, he saw a tall, slender figure supporting him.
It was Julius. He looked at Subaru with the same straightforward eyes as Garfiel and nodded.
“I agree. If we’re going to do this, then you’re the only choice that makes sense, Natsuki.”
“Not you too…”
Behind Julius, Anastasia was burying her face in her scarf. There was a swirl of indignation and annoyance at herself for her own inability to play the part, but it was also colored by a silent understanding—because she wanted to protect the city whatever the cost.
Having understood that point at last, Subaru finally realized the huge burden of hope that had just landed on his shoulders.
“You too, Julius? Are you serious?”
“…Do you remember back at the castle, your outburst at the knights and when I defeated you on the training grounds?” Julius asked.
Subaru caught his breath and then slowly exhaled.
“That moment is a finalist in my top three for regret and humiliation. I’ll never forget it for as long as I live.”
“I remember it well, too. Your baseless proclamation, the disgraceful way you besmirched the knightly order…but I also remember you joining in the Battle of the White Whale after that, and when you managed to defeat Sloth as well.”
“ ”
“If there is anyone in this city whose voice could ease the fear and unease of the people…then I believe that person must be none other than you. I know that if you ever asked for aid, I would gladly be there to heed your call and lend my hand. And there would be many others who would answer the call as well. Garfiel would surely stand at the head, and I would of course be there, too. You would do well to remember that.”
This was an oath sworn out of an incredibly powerful sense of trust.
“ ”
Subaru lost his bearings, shocked to his core, and he struggled to breathe at the level of trust he’d been granted.
Swiveling his head, he saw Anastasia. She nodded.
Turning again, he looked to Garfiel. He flashed a toothy grin and held out his fist.
Julius’s eyes had never left Subaru. Turning to face Subaru head-on, he nodded elegantly.
—How badly can you overestimate someone?
“ ”
He had felt this way before as well, when interacting with Wilhelm and Crusch and Reinhard. They were misunderstanding who he was. They were badly mistaken. They were all far more worthy of praise. They worked far, far harder than he did. They were indescribably nobler.
And the way they all praised Subaru, reached out to him, and treated him as a friend as if it were the obvious, natural thing to do—that had always tormented him. These people he respected, people who treated him as an equal, people whom he could never hope to match… He didn’t want them to acknowledge him like that.
It made him anxious. He was sure that, at any moment, his real self would slip out and he would just end up disappointing them. He would only disappoint them and make them regret everything when they realized that the real Subaru was pathetic, weak, helpless.
He had always believed that. And yet…
“—General.”
Garfiel, Anastasia, and Julius were all expecting so much from Subaru. Even though he was always so desperate, always on the verge of being crushed under the weight of their expectations, they were adding more and more to the load, as if his desperation was not enough.
That…that was the path Subaru Natsuki walked.
The path of a boy who had once sworn to be a single girl’s hero.
Somewhere along the way, he realized that he couldn’t stay just her hero. He’d needed to—
“—If you’re not sure, then just leave it be, Bro.” Subaru’s face tensed as a gruff voice called out.
Looking up, Subaru was greeted by a gloomy gaze.
“You’re spoutin’ that crap now of all times?!” Garfiel exploded.
Rushing in, Garfiel grabbed Al’s thick neck, as if to say he could snap it at any time if he wanted, glaring daggers at him all the while.
“You shut your damn mouth! What do you know about the general?! Nobody asked you!”
“I could say the same to you. Is saying ‘General’ supposed to cast some magic spell? That the name of some superman who can solve any problem?” Al fired back coldly.
“—!”
Al touched Garfiel’s arm. Garfiel’s expression suddenly changed, and he quickly pulled away. Garfiel was clearly not sure why he had reacted that way as Al leaned into his face, headbutting Garfiel with his black helm.
“Looks like you’re leaning on him pretty hard, but is he really all that special? You could beat him in a straight-up brawl, and when it comes to smarts, he wouldn’t beat that young lady or her knight over there.”
“Who asked you? Don’t talk about the general that way! You don’t know just how much he…”
“If only he could just put the whole world on his shoulders and keep on rollin’. Now, that would be somethin’ to see. Awe-inspiring, even. Just what you’d want from the star at center stage. But your average background character can’t carry that kinda weight. I can’t, and Bro can’t, either. And now you’re forcing him to take on this massive burden…for what? You ever think about how he must feel?”
That last line caused Garfiel’s expression to tremble. He had seemingly realized something, and the powerful momentum he had been riding dissipated.
Al pulled back and looked over Garfiel’s head at Subaru.
“Hey, Bro, that girl is the most important thing to you right now, isn’t she?”
There was a hint of disappointment in Al’s voice. As if he knew the answer already and had no expectations of Subaru at all.
“ ”
Anastasia and Julius were silent, watching the two of them. They had already said what they had to say. All that was left was to leave it to Subaru’s judgment.
“I—I…I… Ge-gen…”
Garfiel looked up and then immediately back down again, unsure what to say. He was hesitating. He’d started to call Subaru General like always, but he could not finish saying it when he thought about the meaning it held.
And the one person there who had no expectations of Subaru at all continued.
“I’m gonna do what I have to for my princess, for Priscilla. I’m just gonna leave everything else for later. If I can just protect her and myself and Schult, then that’s enough for me.”
“Al…”
“You should do the same, Bro. Just focus on that little lady… Save Emilia, and that’ll have to be enough. The cultists are just vermin that’ll pop up again somewhere else even if you go out of your way to exterminate them here. They’re like a demon that just keeps coming back to haunt you. Getting involved with them’ll only make things worse,” Al said, his voice wavering a little uncontrollably, as if he was clinging to something.
Al’s suggestion was one possible answer. Subaru was in complete agreement with him about the cultists being vermin. There was nothing to be gained by getting too deeply involved with them. There was no denying that. But that was not the choice before him. The cultists had already gotten involved with them. Subaru was going to have to act in order to deal with the sparks they had set off.
From Al’s point of view, though, that would just lead to the question “Why?” Naturally, it was true that the situation was bad with Emilia held captive. But even if she was not involved, Subaru would not be able to choose to run away. That was because…
“I wouldn’t need a reason to pull a kid back to the sidewalk if they wandered out on a red light. I wouldn’t even think twice… It’s probably something like that.”
“ ”
Al caught his breath at that. Only Al, though. The meaning was lost on the other three, but Subaru was satisfied that he had gotten his point across.
“I’m not going to worry about the little things. I’m here, so I want to do the most I can to help. I know full well there are lots of things I can’t do. But still.”
It was surely something Subaru Natsuki should not do.
“—If you’re going to do this, Bro, then you’re going to be carrying the full weight of that heroic delusion.”
—Heroic delusion.
Al had said that when he had first entered the room.
He kept his eyes on Subaru to the end.
“You can’t afford to lose. You have to win. You’ll be fighting while carrying everyone’s hopes and expectations, all while leading them to some happy future. If you make that choice now, you’ll have to follow through.”
“…Not being able to afford to lose is how it’s always been for me.”
“The weight ain’t the same at all. If you lose, then it won’t just end with your loss, Bro.”
He couldn’t understand what Al was getting at.
It was always like that for Subaru. Every time he fought, losing meant risking far more than just one fight. It meant losing everything that he wanted to protect. It was like that every single time. There was never a time it had not been like that.
If he could lose without losing anything, then he would never fight in the first place. The reason he still fought was that there were things he could only protect by fighting. And right here and now, those things were many and enormous.
“That’s all? That’s how it’s always been.”
“ ”
Exhaling, Subaru made up his mind.
His heart, which had been pounding badly before, was calm, and his eyes were clearer than ever. Al caught his breath. Subaru could tell he was dumbfounded even without seeing his face.
“You don’t have to hold back, Garfiel. Just call me what you always do.”
“—Ah.”
“It was embarrassing at first, but at this point it just feels right. I can’t promise I’ll be able to live up to your expectations, but I’ll do everything I can.” Subaru smiled at Garfiel, who was floundering in front of him.
For some reason, it felt like he was smiling particularly naturally. Seeing that, Garfiel caught his breath.
“General… Ahh! General! You are definitely my general…!” Garfiel’s fists clenched, and his fangs trembled as he repeated the nickname like an incantation.
“You aren’t making any sense at all.”
Smiling wryly, Subaru turned back to Anastasia and Julius.
“Let’s do this, Anastasia. If you think my voice can reach the people, then I’ll do it.”
“…You sure? If you choose to be the symbol of hope all by yourself…”
“It won’t change what I’m going to do in the end. Hero has a nice ring to it. Well, actually, it’s embarrassing as hell, and calling yourself a hero is sort of…”
Subaru scratched his nose in a show of bashfulness.
“But if it’s playing the role of the hero, then I already decided to do that a year ago. If I don’t follow through now, I could never show my face to those people looking up to me. And I wouldn’t be able to keep up with the person I’m trying to catch.”
“—If you say so. No helpin’ it, I guess; boys are always tryin’ to look cool.”
Anastasia smiled hopelessly and held out her fist in front of Subaru’s chest. He answered in kind by holding out his fist and bumping it against hers. It was proof they were on the same wavelength, even though they had messed it up once downstairs.
“Don’t laugh if I screw up the lines. And don’t sigh, either. In fact, you’d be doing me a huge favor if you just don’t listen at all.”
“I won’t laugh, nor will I sigh. And I shall listen closely until the very end,” Julius shot back.
“Tch.”
Then Subaru turned his head to Al.
“Thanks for worrying about me, Al— Thanks to that I was able to find my resolve.”
He said nothing more. And Al probably did not want to hear that thanks, either. But Subaru had felt it was necessary to at least say that much, so he had.
“ ”
Subaru turned to face the subject of all that debate: the metia waiting in silence at the other end of the room. He thought about what he should say while standing in front of it.
Naturally, he did not have the contents of the speech in mind yet. He didn’t even know if there was a right answer. But for some reason there was no unease or confusion. It was all rather mysterious.
Perhaps because in his mind it really was the same as always.
—Because he knew that he was just going to have to try to look good, like always.
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