CHAPTER 104: THETA CHAPTER 2
Theta: “That makes up all the fragments erv the past I saw in the tomb.”
Theta puts her cooled tea to her mouth, wetting her tongue.
Subaru, seated on the bed and having listened meekly to the story, holds his breath as Theta announces that the tale is over. And with a long, deep sigh, he expels everything clogged up inside him. He strains his lungs to the limit, spitting out all the air and indescribable emotions in him—then, raises his head.
Subaru: “Those were the true foundations of SANCTUARY, and Lewes Meyer's memories.”
Theta: “I'm sure yer already now what happened ter Lewes, swallowed by the blue crystal. She's still preserved exactly how she wers back then, deep in the Great Witch's research facility.”
Subaru: “But this doesn't match up with what I know about the crystal's purpose. Echidna didn't say Lewes Meyer in the crystal is about SANCTUARY's barrier, she said it was for something else...”
Going from what Echidna said in the dream, Lewes Meyer is sealed in the crystal owing to Echidna's experiments in attempting to achieve immortality. The process of sealing Lewes in the crystal, crafting duplicates of her, and then transferring Echidna's own memories into them would accomplish a kind of mock-immortality. Echidna's death or some kind of mechanical defect meant that the experiment failed to bear fruit, and with the passage of time, the mechanism continued to autonomously create more and more Lewes doubles.
Theta's story mentions absolutely nothing about all this immortality business. In fact, it's presented multiple pieces of information which cannot be overlooked.
Subaru: “The real reason Echidna made SANCTUARY... basically it's because of that guy they tried to remove, but who is he?”
Theta says nothing.
Subaru: “They called him TRISTITIA during the story, but I haven't seen or heard anything about this guy before. It's news to me that he exists. I'd been thinking the whole time that the person chasing Echidna was the WITCH OF ENVY.”
The WITCH OF ENVY, who destroyed the six witches of sin. Subaru had thought entirely that she, who he had met in the dream, was the one who cornered Echidna. Only for the story to present someone entirely different, who Subaru had not heard even the vaguest mention of until now. Of course he would be confused.
But, with how he's being called TRISTITIA, Subaru did have some ideas. Albeit ones that he'd rather not be true.
Subaru: “The seven cardinal sins are pride, envy, wrath, sloth, greed, gluttony, and lust, yeah? ...But I heard they used to be different, and there's other deadly sins which got absorbed.”
The term 'Seven Deadly Sins' was one of the keywords to give people of Subaru's ilk heartflutter. Subaru naturally had some brushes with this information before, and after mobilizing his memories into action, he finds that yes, there it is.
Subaru: “I think it was... TRISTITIA and VAINGLORY used to be counted as deadly sins.”
The ex-deadly sins, separate from the main seven, TRISTITIA and VAINGLORY. If TRISTITIA existed, it wouldn't be strange for VAINGLORY to exist too. Supposing that these were different people, missing from the witches who were extensively known in the past...
Theta: “It'd be a help fer me if yer guessed on yer own why I couldn't speak carelessly abert these memories.”
Subaru: “Why you couldn't?”
Subaru scrunches his brows. A sly grin, unfitting to Theta's appearance, arises on her face.
Theta: “What yer just said wers exactly right, Lil' Su. I haven't heard a single lick erv anything abert anyone carrying the title TRISTITIA, erkscept in these memories. And that's the same no matter who yer ask. Though the world may'erve fergotten the names erv the witches of sin, their existence is still told—but people don't know that a presence which possessed such incredible power even existed. ...It's terrifying.”
Theta's explanation, her eyes cast down, illuminates her concerns. Indeed, there was something strange about this.
The WITCH OF ENVY has been talked worldwide through the generations as a synonym for terror and hatred. The other witches are sidelined into being existences consumed by the WITCH OF ENVY, but their presence does still remain in history. Nevertheless, not even the faintest traces of TRISTITIA's existence are known about at all. Had it just coincidentally happened that the topic never came up anywhere around Subaru or Theta?
—Was it truly plausible that Subaru, who had attended a witch's tea party and interacted with all the witches, would not have caught any minuscule sign of this person's existence?
Subaru: “...Did the first Roswaal die? If he did, then what about his descendant, the current Roswaal? Is he from a different branch of the family?”
Theta: “He didn't die in battle, ers what I heard. From what I've seen of the memories he wers half-dead, but he must'er managed ter narrowly hold onter life. Though he wersn't ever gonner recover well enough ter live a normal life. ...After that, this first Roswaal who had supposedly reached the peak in sorcery continued ter devote himself inter deeper and deeper studies erv magic, I hear.”
Theta knew the truth, and so surely she had once attempted ask about this. She must have been the one who most wished to verify whether these memories about TRISTITIA were factual. But seeing how her response is not very clear, it seems her efforts amounted to no success.
Subaru: “SANCTUARY's true purpose is to keep TRISTITIA away from Echidna. Lewes Meyer went along with Echidna's plots and sacrificed herself to protect SANCTUARY. ...Then the crystal's creation of duplicates is something that came later...?”
Theta: “The ability ter generate duplicates is unnecessary fer a system only meant to create a barrier. In all likelihood, yer right. The issue here is what could the motive be fer installing a double-creating system afterwards.”
Subaru: “If it was Echidna who did it... then the motive'd be immortality. But if it was... then I have no idea what she was thinking when she came up with the idea.”
What were Echidna's decisions, after she found Lewes Meyer sleeping in the crystal? Echidna must know about TRISTITIA. Going off Theta's memories, that is definite. But, for knowing about him, there's an incredible and compounding unnaturalness about her behaviour during her dialogues with Subaru. —This just-spawned, isolated awriness has its answer where, exactly?
Subaru: “I'm seriously still missing pieces for this?”
Gritting his teeth, Subaru thinks vexedly about the segments he's missing for this puzzle. He scratches at his head, deciding to postpone the labour of finding the answer for the present. Now, in the final part of Theta's story, the part which Subaru can't overlook is—
Subaru: “—Beatrice lost her friend at the end.”
Theta: “...She did.”
Lewes Meyer was a thing of awe. Beatrice was a thing of obstinance. Perhaps Lewes Meyer had been unable to recognize that until the very end of the end, and Beatrice had been unable to recognize that even in the final moment.
Lewes Meyer, now melded into the crystal. How greatly did her final, curselike exhibition of love wound Beatrice's heart? Was the consequence of this parting Beatrice, and her continued rejection of others for four hundred years?
Subaru: “She lost someone in a painful way, so of course it'd scare her to hope again. ...I do get how you're feeling.”
He has to remember Beatrice, rejecting Subaru's hand, pleading: Please let me die. Her inability to have hope in others was because her four hundred years of isolation, and because the starting impetus for her isolation—the memory of her parting with Lewes Meyer—left that deep and cutting of a wound, then? Finally, Subaru feels he understands why grieving Beatrice had become dependant on the existence of Echidna's THEY, and why over a long span of time, her heart abraded.
The wound on Beatrice's heart, herself having lost her only friend, had remained forever as a scab. Her meeting with THEY and fulfilment of Echidna's instructions should have healed the injury—but with the progressing of an absurd passage of time, the thing festered with pus, and had practically swollen to burst. The girl felt herself at her limit.
Subaru: “...Have the Lewes-sans ever met Beatrice?”
Theta: “Nerr, never. By the time us duplercates started being born, Beatrice-sama had stopped coming over ter SANCTUARY, and she never visited again. The other doubles don't know abert the memories, but I do, and my view says it's best we don't meet her.”
Subaru: “—”
Ultimately, Subaru does agree with Theta's thinking. In the crystal there sleeps Lewes Meyer. Theta, a duplicate of her, shares the exact same appearance as Lewes Meyer did back then. But Theta has no memories of interacting with Beatrice as Lewes Meyer. If Beatrice meets Theta and the other duplicates now, when the wound remains gaping open, all it will bring about is anguish for her. But—
Subaru: “It's essential that I have her meet you and the others.”
This is necessary to get the girl, present at the moment of SANCTUARY's creation and inheritor of Lewes Meyer's wish, to start walking again.
Subaru: “Is it okay for me to think there's nothing else to why you hid the past so much that you went into hiding?”
Theta: “...Yer fine. That's the whole erv it. There's the existence erv that strange warlock called TRISTITIA who I saw in Lewes Meyer's memory. The thing existed, but that truth remains nowhere. It's overwhelmingly odd, abnormal.”
Subaru: “Agree with you there. There has to be some trick to it, and to Echidna's attitude.”
Theta: “But anyway... right.”
Subaru furrows his brows as Theta cuts off, her casting her gaze down. She keeps her gaze away from Subaru as she continues.
Theta: “If this SANCTUARY is Lewes Meyer's... if this is a place created by the wishes of our progenitor, and this barrier was created by sacrificing her life—I have ter wonder what significance it'd carry, ter break the barrier and liberate the place. I lacked the bravery for it.”
Subaru: “—”
Theta: “The times are the times. We're centuries separated from Lewes Meyer's era. The treatment toward half-bloods, ostracized and despised in the generation where the WITCH OF ENVY's terror wers most abundant, must'erv improved some by now. ...We're even getting people urging that we ought to free the place, and set our sights fer the outside.”
Subaru: “...Naturally though, I'm not saying that everything will be great. Discrimination is still around, here and goddamn there. And I'm sure there's going to be lots of unpleasant times even should you leave. But.”
Subaru recalls the happening at the palace. Emilia, who had put her will and thoughts to words, and withstood the malevolence aimed at her. A world where Emilia's ideals were achieved would be a world where the people of SANCTUARY would be saved. Lewes Meyer's wish would be granted.
Subaru: “And once Emilia's achieved that, this ended SANCTUARY will begin again. Once everything's worked out well, everyone will be able to call the entire world their SANCTUARY.”
Theta: “—” Emilia would surely endeavour for it to happen. And although not entirely definite, at least half the other Selection Candidates seemed like people who would also endeavour for that purpose. There existed between people no superiority or inferiority surmisable by race. There would surely come a time where this idea, a natural one to Subaru, would be favoured far and wide.
Theta: “Fantasy. Comforting, pleasant words.” Subaru: “They sure are. Got your heart wavering?” Theta: “Working yer tongue on this senile old biddy, yer a bad boy, Lil' Su.” Stifling her chuckles in the back of her throat, an elderly air covers Lewes's young expression.
Subaru shrugs as he jokes around, Theta's face glorious.
Theta: “I'm interested in having those pleasant words coax me, and maybe that is me being a senile old biddy.” Subaru: “You're a girl, might be my dangerous allure getting you dizzy.” Theta: “Pff,” Subaru: “That is the first time any of the Lewes-sans has ever snorted a laugh at me!” Hoisting both hands to the heavens, Subaru poses in defeat. Theta shakes her head at him before setting her emptied cup on the table. She looks up at the silver shields, crisscrossed on the wall.
Theta: “The world outside this SANCTUARY—and the time where its whole is a SANCTUARY.” Subaru: “That time will come. And when it does, it's gonna be a waste staying holed up here. Cause the biggest fun once we're done's gonna be us taking everyone who said we couldn't, and giving them the finger.”
Overcoming something of which others have judged you incapable creates merit. Battles, and challenges, adhere to that. Their goal in their venture was a dream lacking limits, and that gave their struggle magnificence.
Theta: “—Alright, Lil' Su. I want you and Emilia-sama ter go along doing what yer like.”
Subaru: “Theta-san...”
Theta: “I'd decided from the start. That if yer were the one ter find me here, I'd tell the story and leave the decision up ter yer. Yer heard the story, and yer still not thinking ter stop SANCTUARY's freedom in the least... and yer also laughed off my unease.”
Subaru: “Not that I put on enough bravado to actually laugh it off, but yeah.”
Theta: “Even so, that's fine. Mm, it's fine.”
Dispelling something from her mind, Theta nods several times as she affirms Subaru's stance. Subaru realises that Theta, having been stuck in the prison called this memory, which she could never reveal to anyone over these many years, has finally reached out her hand. Would she take the hand of another, and allow them to lead her outside? —That was the decision she had entrusted to Subaru.
Subaru: “And so, there are no longer any Lewes-sans opposing SANCTUARY's freedom.”
Theta: “That's what it'd be. ...But this ers entirely something which only holds significance once SANCTUARY has been freed, and the barrier comes undone. Nothing changes about the TRIAL's conquering resting on Emilia-sama.”
Just when Subaru gives himself a relieved pat on the chest for eliminating one issue, Theta speaks. Hearing her, Subaru's relaxed cheeks stiffen again. He definitely had gotten somewhat lax after finding Theta. But the problems remain present and unresolved.
He had found Theta before Garfiel could. But he had not found Emilia yet.
Theta: “Yer definitely sure that Emilia-sama has a chance erv overcoming the TRIAL?”
Subaru: “I've taken the measures for it... or more like made her take it. But the medicine worked a little too well and right now she's kinda sorta a missing persons case. We're hoping for a quick resolution.”
Theta: “M-Missing persons!? Y-you're really certain this ers going to work, right!? If Emilia-sama bungles after I jerst revealed this past, it's gonner be an undermining erv so much of my resolve!”
Subaru: “Your anxiety's sound and it's really hard for me to say anything, but... well, after hearing your story, I thought of something.”
Lewes Meyer, who sacrificed her own life to save SANCTUARY. Her self-sacrifice, as she prioritized others above herself to the very end, overlapped incredibly with that girl—who infinitely suffered disadvantage as a result of prioritizing others first.
Even when undergoing compounding pain, repeats of agonizing experiences, her heart withered— Subaru doubted she would lose sight of what people wanted from her, and what she must do.
Subaru: “I have an idea of where she is.”
Theta: “—”
Subaru: “And even if that's not it, we searched frantically all around this cramped SANCTUARY. My buddy should be half in tears right now, tumbling around the place. If all that isn't finding her, then there's only one place we wouldn't find her.”
Seeing Subaru's conviction, a once-panicked Theta gives a deep sigh. She goes without investigating into Subaru's idea as she speaks,
Theta: “If yer saying that yer'll find Emilia-sama, and she'll overcome the TRIAL... that'd make Lil' Gar the last gateway ter get through.”
Subaru: “Going from the fragments I got from Sigma-san, his past's about his goodbye with his mother. You were in the tomb around the same time, Theta-san, so do you have any ideas?”
Theta: “Seeing that he doesn't want ter talk about his family, yes. Yer have how he fusses over me... and he's enduring the thing with Frederica, too.”
Frederica and Garfiel's parting became something definite when Garfiel shook away Frederica's hand as she left to journey in the outside world. Garfiel stayed behind in SANCTUARY to protect the residents, who could not leave unlike quarter-blooded Garfiel and Frederica, from potentially-existant threats.
—This coincided with Echidna's statement that Garfiel was afraid of the outside world.
Subaru: “Trauma from parting with his mom... huh. Maybe he hates the outside world? I mean I kinda want him to help me out with something in the outside world, but.”
Theta: “Lil' Su and Lil' Gar standing shoulder ter shoulder... hm. Mm, that sounds good.”
As she thinks of Garfiel, Theta's smiling visage loses all youthful factors, plainly overflowing with motherly compassion for her grandson. Perhaps for the four doubles playing the role of Lewes, the emotion none of them entirely shared but all commonly felt was a familial love for Garfiel. And surely, Garfiel felt the same toward them.
Subaru: “...I need to see Emilia first.”
Preparations are proceeding along to deal with the worst-case scenario for the Garfiel Route. Being that Subaru has contracted with Roswaal—that this has been established as one of Subaru's requirements to win the bet—conversation with Garfiel is an unavoidable quandary. Emilia prevailing over the TRIAL was something Roswaal had also deemed as impossible, and Subaru must have Emilia overcome it on her own.
Having lost Puck, Emilia is missing her mental support. In exchange, she supposedly has lost the CAP ON INCONVENIENT MEMORIES which is impeding her victory over the first TRIAL. If things are going in line with Puck's ideas, then this should be what is happening. Once Emilia overcomes this and faces the TRIAL, she should be presented a different scene than what she has been seeing thus far.
Will Emilia be able to give her solution? —Natsuki Subaru's self-imposed role has been to do everything he can so that, even though he may not be present, she will be able to give her answer at that moment, and proceed to be able from thereon out.
Subaru: “I know you'll probably be wanting to support Garfiel right now, but Theta-san, can you stay right here for a little bit? If he doesn't get too close to here and doesn't find you, then Garfiel's distractable.”
Theta: “And while Lil' Gar's attention's elsewhere, yer gonna get into yer nefarious plotting.”
Subaru: “Everyone's been saying what I'm doing's a 'nefarious plot' and a 'conspiracy' like it's entirely an obvious thing to call it, but do I actually look like that kind of conniving scoundrel?”
Theta tilts her head but does not answer. Feeling a badness about that silent reply, Subaru gives a sigh as he scratches his head.
Subaru: “Can I keep thinking that today's the scheduled day, and tomorrow's the reserve? If Emilia's where I think she is, then the worries left are Garfiel and Roswaal.”
The bottleneck of these two people, who potentially will obstruct Subaru from achieving his win conditions for SANCTUARY. His plans with Otto to keep the bottleneck away are scrupulous. The problem is their timing for it, their prep time, and the chances of it working.
The timing is sporadic. The more prep time they have, the more prep time they have. Their chances increase in proportion to the goodness of their timing and length of their prep time. —It's an obvious outcome, but it's the one they want.
Subaru: “Whether we're laughing or crying, we have to sort everything out within two days. We can't mess up at the critical moment. ...Right, Theta-san?”
Theta: “Yer can look at me fer agreement, but I got nothing I can say. —It's when a man's face is determined that yer've hit that time. I'll be waiting with expectations.”
While she does not go along with Subaru's ideas, Theta does affirm his volition. That troubled smile of hers perhaps was the same one that Lewes Meyer had given time and time again. Surely, this expression was one Beatrice had seen on many occasions.
Persuade Garfiel, support Emilia, and receive Beatrice. The things he has to do, and obstacles in his way, are entirely too numerous.
The thick stormclouds still hang heavy, and he still hasn't found any clear-cut answer. But despite it all, Subaru's heart mysteriously isn't downcast.
Because the things he has to do, and the things he wants to do, are the exact same things. This present, where he can clearly see the walls he needs to tear down—no matter how difficult it will be—is so much better compared to before, when he was lost on what he needed to do.
Finally, the preparations are in place for him to reach out to this insubstantial thing called fate. Subaru pulls his cheeks taut with his hands, a peal ringing out as he psychs himself up.
Lewes's eyes widen. He smiles at her as he gives a light wave and heads for the building's exit. With his hand on the door, he glances back as if just remembering something, and says: Subaru: “Actually, Lewes Meyer spoke in a normal way for her age, so how come you duplicates talk like grannies, Theta-san? Something to do with crafting your persona?” Lewes: “What in the werld er yer saying. —I'm talking plenty normal fer my age.” With an indignant snort, Theta puts her hands to her hips as she puffs out her flat chest.
Calling it normal for her age when she looked like that was surely, entirely impossible.
While thinking of the girl in her dress, who would never mature no matter what time passed, Subaru exits the building—bathes in the wind. His mood still someways sunny, to face the final challenge. —Natsuki Subaru's fight to end SANCTUARY, and begin SANCTUARY, begins.
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