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CHAPTER 16: MORNING IN THE NATSUKI HOUSEHOLD 

Subaru can brag that whenever he wakes up naturally, he instantly wakes up fully. But when he's woken up by an external factor, this isn't the case. Drowsy and sluggish, with a dull ache in his eyes as he rubs them, he looks around his surroundings—the familiar territory of his room. 

Bookshelves stuffed full of manga and light novels, as well as discarded shirts and jeans scattered about, adorn this room. Piles of half-read books occupy the desk, which has long been forsaken of its proper role, an old television set now converted exclusively into a game station being the finishing touch to this scene. 

Subaru clicks his neck as he sits atop his futon, which gets aired barely fucking ever, but for some reason feels unease at this extremely obvious environment. —Call it something in his chest, jabbering and astir. 

Kenichi: “Heeeeeyhey, ignore him like this and this finely-aged pops of yours's gonna cry! The morning's bright, sunny, fresh as anything, so you follow the mood and leap right outta that bed.” 

Subaru: “You mean, greet the day refreshed after being woken up by a diving press? Please do not speak silliness. My bones feel creaky and so I shall now return to slumber.” 

Subaru flops back down on the futon, turning his back to Kenichi, declaring the lack of room for negotiations. 

Kenichi: “Whaaaaat iiiiiis thiiiiiis!” 

Kenichi: “His rebellious age! It's his rebellious age! I knew it was gonna come someday, but not even my heart had been prepared for that day being this very morning! I should've skimped on preparing breakfast, and made better preparations to converse with my son. Goddamn, my powerlessness's stunning...” 

Subaru: “What're you doing grabbing someone's leg while sayin... hey, wa- ahh! Agugughguh!” 

Kenichi: “Aaaaall right, today you and me are gonna talk all through the dawn. First comes body language! Figure four, figure four! Look'ere, this wakeup-wrestling move works good!” 

And Kenichi catches Subaru in a figure-four leglock, transmitting incredible damage to Subaru's knees and shins. Unable to counter the pain, Subaru cries out in agony, Kenichi again giving the most fucking lively laugh in the entire world. 

Kenichi: “Oho, whatnow whatnow. You're body's gotten big and you work out every day, don't think it's embarrassing for your fight against a single middle-aged man to be so close? Mwahahaha... ah, no wait, ahh! Aguguhguhguh!” 

Subaru: “Imbecile! For you to have chosen the easily-reversed figure four as your surprise attack shows even you've grown old, dad! Just by flipping myself over, I rebound the damage back at the foe who set me in this figure fo... ah, wait, don't flip over my flip over... aguhow! Owow!” 

Their wrestling goes own, the assailant and victim continuously switching between the two of them as they cry out in pain. Their boisterous jostling about knocks some books off the desk, the games stacked there falling down. WHEN 

???: “—Just a mo, you two. Mom's getting hungry, I kinda wanna have breakfast.” 

An uneven knock comes at the door alongside that carefree voice, and the pair's hectic movements stop. Standing at the doorway is a woman with nasty-looking eyes, mantled in an absent-minded kind of air. The sharpness of her gaze makes her seem a little displeased, but Subaru knows from his 17-year relationship with this woman that actually she's not thinking about anything in particular at all. 

Immediately obvious as family by the nasty-looking eyes inherent between them, is Subaru's mother Natsuki Naoko.11 Kenichi sticks his tongue out as he jumps to his feet. 

Kenichi: “Sorrysorry, suddenly fell into a skinship trance with Subaru. Though you coulda just got to eating before us.”12 

Naoko: “—? Today's a morning where we can all have breakfast together, why would I eat before you? It's better to eat while everyone's all together.” 

Naoko tilts her head. There's no sarcasm or anything in it, she's just seriously wondering and that's why she asked. Kenichi gives several vigorous nods. 

Kenichi: “Right, ain't that it exactly. Just what you'd expect of my wife, she gets it. Breakfast's tastier when everyone's eating together!” 

Naoko: “I don't think the flavour really changes whether it's breakfast or lunch or dinner, though? When everyone eats together you can do all the dishes at once.” 

Kenichi: “Oh, you meant dishes. Right, sorry. I got myself just a little pumped up.” 

Kenichi's shoulders slump. Naoko looks at him a little perplexed before switching her gaze to Subaru, who's still sprawled out in a heap. 

Naoko: “You come to eat too, Subaru. I worked hard on today's meal for you, after all.” 

And she gives a happy smile so faint that only someone who knew her very well would see it. 

※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ 

Still kinda sleepy, Subaru rubs at his eyes as he reluctantly goes down to the dining table on the house's first floor, feeling the attacks from Kenichi guiding his dull consciousness into proper 

11菜月・菜穂子 12 Kenichi and Naoko refer to Subaru using his kanji writing, 昴. The narration continues to use the katakana version, 

スバル. A font change indicates that the kanji writing has been used.  sobriety. Subaru: “Mom. I know you said you worked hard on this for me, but...” Naoko: “Yup. Mom worked hard on this for you. It was lots of trouble getting it ready early in the  morning.” Brags Naoko. Subaru sighs, Kenichi arriving at the table via the bathroom, looking things over and  giving an 'ohhh!' in surprise. Kenichi: “Amazing, Subaru. Your plate's got a special menu. You gotta green forest.” Subaru: “Thanks for saying it. Yeah, really feels like that. ...What exactly is this? Why does only my  plate have a horde of peas piled on it?” Subaru points at the plate set on the table before his usual seat. The peas are piled so thick that it's impossible to tell whether they're drowning the other foodstuffs out or whether there was just no other food on the plate in the first place. By the way Subaru hates peas. 

Naoko: “Well, aren't you always saying that you hate peas, Subaru? I don't think it's good being picky. So, I wondered if using this opportunity to eat lots of them'd help you defeat that.” Subaru: “So relying on that vague maybe-that-happened-sometime memory, you decided to fix my  pickiness. And saying 'this opportunity'... there isn't really anything special about today, though?” Kenichi: “Huhu, tenderfoot, Subaru. See, whenever and no matter what the time, you never get to experience this very present instant of the day called 'today' except for now. You might see it as just another identical day coming to visit you, but in actuality you're overlooking countless 'PACKED' instants which...” Subaru: “That's enough for now.” Kenichi literally dances into the conversation and Subaru pushes him back, giving a deep sigh as he seats himself before the peas. He pushes the plate away. Subaru: “Anyway, I gratefully accept that you prepared this for me, but I'll hold back on the peas. I don't wanna fill my stomach with something I hate first thing in the morning.” Naoko: “There you go with that again. Alright, then what'd you do if all the food in the world except peas disappeared. You'd eat them then.” Subaru: “If that happened I'd die of starvation soon, and eating some peas wouldn't change that. So I absolutely would not eat them.” Subaru crosses his arms and pushes out his chest. Subaru: “Even if Armageddon came, I absolutely would not eat peas.” 

Kenichi: “I swear, going on hating foods without trying them's a waste of life. Ah, Mom, these  tomatoes you've put in my salad. I hate'em so you eat them.” Subaru: “There's my father... contradicting himself beautifully in the first and second halves of one damn statement.” 

Kenichi picks the tomatoes out of his salad and puts them in Naoko's, nicking Naoko's boiled eggs in return. Watching this established secret couple mutual understanding, Subaru presses his hands together, intentions aimed at the two things set out on the table that aren't peas—a steaming miso soup and toast caked in honey. 

Subaru: “I always wonder this, but what's with the east-west blend?” Naoko: “I have wakame for the soup, and I love honey on bread.” It's not an answer but trying to probe into that would be a fucking pain. Subaru, Kenichi and Naoko  itadakimasu and go for their soups in perfect sync. Kenichi: “Oh, this soup... Say, Mom, did you get better while I wasn't looking?” Naoko: “You can tell? I recorded a three-minute afternoon cooking show yesterday.” So what. 

It's more than likely that Naoko is in fact saying the exact truth here and 'recorded' a cooking show. Without watching it. And has yet gone without watching it. And besides, 

Subaru: “Dad's here in the morning, so he's probably the one who made the soup and toast.” Kenichi: “Ohoho, sharp eyes, my son.” Then he makes a phoenix wright reference and Subaru bitches at him not to play outdated games that said it's a masterpiece. 

Subaru: “Oh, yeah,” 

Subaru: “It's seriously way late to be mentioning this, dad why are you barely dressed? I know it's warmed up, but a tanktop and boxers's way too casual.” Kenichi: “But you're wearing boxers too, aren't you? Your dad had a bit of that, woke up just a little  early had some high energy went in the garden and rubbed himself down with a dry towel, some of that.” 

Subaru: “Isn't doing that pointless when it isn't cold out?” Kenichi: “That's just a problem of motivation. You worry about something that useless before you get running, and are you really ever gonna reach your destination? Mom you say something here too.” 

Naoko: “That's right, Subaru. It might not've been chilly out, but Mom was watching your dad rub himself down with a properly freezing gaze.” 

Kenichi: “Wha!? My wife's not backing me up!?” Naoko: “Huh... but I did back you up. I said it was properly cold.” Kenichi: “That's not backing up that's a death blow!” Kenichi rattles the chair as he sways back and forth, displeased. Naoko sees this and is like 'that's  kicking up dust, gotta clean it later.' Eyes lowered, Subaru watches them go at it as he continues with breakfast. He pushes the plate of peas over to Kenichi, Kenichi pushes it on to Naoko, and Naoko pushes it back to Subaru, the cycle continuing. 

Subaru: “...We're in a perfect pattern of nobody eating these. The heck do we do with this giant load of peas. Mom take responsibility eat them.” Naoko: “But your mom hates peas...” 

Subaru: “Weren't you just trying to make people overcome their pickiness!?” Naoko: “Ah, don't misunderstand. Your mom doesn't just hate peas, it's... more like small, round things in general. Putting them in my mouth makes me feel sick.” 

Subaru: “I'm not misunderstanding anything here, you're just getting less and less credible!” 

Subaru vaguely thinks that actually oh yeah he can't remember ever seeing his mom eating beans, as he pushes the plate over toward Kenichi. Subaru: “Nnywell, the wife's responsibility is the husband's to take, so dad eat these.” 

Kenichi: “Don't say such sad things, Subaru. Our family's one of the few close and friendly ones out there nowadays. Meaning, if you and Mom hate something I hate it too.” 


Subaru: “This's some concern that made nobody happy, this green plate!” In the end the Pea Issue is solved by Kenichi proposing to bake them into a pilaf, a pilaf so thick the peas disappear. Subaru's fine with that but Naoko is stubborn that the things she hates are the things she hates. The men are left with cleaning the peas up. 

Subaru: “Thanks for the meal.” 

Kenichi: “Oui, gobbleguts. Alright, time to swoosh-swoosh-swoosh the dishes, and get going with some digestion exercises until school, Subaru!” Subaru: “Tired of hearing this pattern of pressing me to go to school. Sides, I don't remember being  raised as some cheeky brat who goes running straight after eating.” Kenichi flashes a smile as he dumps the tableware into the sink, Subaru shrugs and stands from the  dinner table. Subaru quietly leaves with a, “I'll sleep until afternoon,” scratching his head as he heads for his room on the second floor—when his legs suddenly freeze. 

Subaru: “Wh, at?” 

An ache runs through his temples, Subaru lightly presses down on his head and squeezes his eyes shut. Lights flicker beneath his eyelids, something hot fizzles in the back of his throat. Something's strange. Something is strange. 

Glancing back, Subaru catches sight of his parents' faces. His invitation rejected, Kenichi pouts in discontent. Naoko's wiping the dining table down with a cloth, looking back at Subaru with a sad gaze. 

Faced with his parents' gazes—registering the emotion packed in each, a heat he can't ignore ravages his chest. Subaru feels his face blaze hot, and he quickly turns away so his parents won't see his expression, and as if running he—nah, he really does just run back into his room. 

Subaru: “Why? Why, why did that turn strange?” 

Putting a hand to a chest, he surprises himself at the speed of his own pulse, and breathes in. He plomps down onto the futon as if collapsing, and unable to calm it down, his gaze darts around the room. Room's the same as when he woke up. Hasn't changed a bit since he went to sleep yesterday night. Endlessly, endlessly, same unchanging stagnant room it's always been. As if it's displaying the stagnancy of its master, Subaru. 

He glances at the clock, and it's just about to turn 8AM. School starts at 8:30, and it's about 20 minutes away from his house by bike. He can still make it. But Subaru doesn't go to get changed, and instead just sits there on the futon, hugging his knees as he stares at the hand of the clock. The minute hand quietly makes ten rotations—the deadline's breached. Now, he will no longer make it in time for school. 

Subaru: “So, there's nothing I can do. Right, there's nothing.” 

If he had just a little more time for him to gather his resolve, perhaps he could've gone to school. But reality heartlessly conveyed upon Subaru a time limit. That said, the usual selection for today no longer pressed on Subaru. Even so, 

Subaru: “...Usually, this'd calm me down. So why?” 

His pulse still unsettled, his ragged breathing shows no sign of clearing. Confused at his irregular physical state, even the chattering of his own teeth scares him. 

—For Subaru, this time every morning is the most terrifying time the day. 

Subaru: “Calm down, calm down... time's already up. It's okay to calm down now. It's okay.” 

Pushing down on his shivering body, Subaru entreats himself. What's accidentally become his daily  ritual of fear is already over. He knows he's going to slam straight into the exact same fear tomorrow morning, but for today he's passed that juncture. No one's rushing Subaru, and no one's cornering him. So who's driving his heart into a panic has to be, no other option, Subaru. 

Go to school—the time when that option alone forces anguish on Subaru. 

This is the time when Subaru faces his own weakness, regardless of the long time he's spent truanting, at being unable to start anew. Ravaged by self-loathing and complexes as he merely waits for time to move, freed only from that pit once he confirms the deadline for school starting has passed. 

It's exactly because he suffers it every day that Subaru knows better than anyone the relief that comes with that freedom. He also knows his weakness, for clinging to that relief, and the repulsiveness of his inevitable, continuing excuses. Being permitted absolutely all of that, he should've passed the target hour, but— 

Subaru: “Why, just today...” 

The guilt, self-loathing, and clinging discomfort isn't disappearing. His unease makes him want to shred away at his own chest. His breathing still faulty, he sweats as he writhes atop the futon. 

His parents' faces when he left the dining table aren't getting out of his mind. The same behaviour as always, same conversations as always, same back-and-forth as always, same betrayals as always, same sloth as always—that's what it was supposed to be. But for some reason, just today, those same actions as always are making his chest suffer. 

—Thinking back on it, something was off about today from the instant he woke up. 

It's a routine thing that Kenichi comes up with various ways to torment Subaru awake. Even after becoming a parasitic truant, his dad's behaviour toward him hasn't changed. That is, the back-and¬forth with him this morning was exactly the same as it had been for the past 17 years—so why was it that today, something other than the diving press was paining him? 

Naoko's misdirected thoughtfulness more often than not ends up being completely unhelpful, but even so she prioritizes Subaru. That shut-in Subaru and housewife Naoko end up spending a lot of time together is inevitable. Even so, as though she's leaving it to time, she continues watching over Subaru with warm eyes. —It's often at the dining table that he accidentally ends up registering that gaze. 

But even now, with the time for school to start already passed, the panic in his chest continues its burn. 

Subaru: “Something's strange. What is it? Did something happen? Yesterday I...” 

He goes to look back on what he did yesterday—when a numbing sensation interrupts him. Heat runs through the back of Subaru's eyes, as if rejecting his attempt to touch the memory. He goes to  again challenge the sea of his memories—and stops. The answer's the same. 

Yesterday, the day before, the day before that, Subaru spent the day doing nothing. The aching pain in his chest has nothing to do with anything special happening. Today was just a day where he'd be feeling that guilt and pain. He simply hadn't seen his parents' sincere faces, and now seeing them overlapping had to be it. 

Kenichi: “—Miiiind if I come in, Subaru?” 

At about the same time Subaru's getting sick of his as-yet erratic pulse, a voice whacks him over the head from behind his room's door. Subaru looks over in that direction to see Kenichi with his upper body peeking through the doorway slip sliding his way into the room, his clever footwork being extremely reminiscent of the King of Pop. 

Subaru: “Doesn't entering someone's room before hearing whether it's okay to come in defeat the purpose of asking?” 

Kenichi: “Heyhey, a parent and child tied together by solid bonds as you and I, have no reason to parley over something small like knocking when... no, actually we do. Yup, when you're a boy going through puberty sometimes you just wanna hole up in your room. Got it. I'll be coming back after I've given you plenty of time.” 

Subaru: “Don't just come up with these ideas and set aside realistic time for them! And I'm fine!” 

His voice getting ragged at the unwanted concern, Subaru honestly feels relief at having an out to obfuscate the raggedness of his breathing. Kenichi gives a suspicious “Reallyyyyy?” and moonwalks back into the room. 

He faces his son staring up at him, and takes a pose as he jabs his finger up toward the heavens. 

Kenichi: “Now, Subaru. I'm sure this's pretty obvious, but turns out I have a day off today.” 

Subaru: “Yeah, kinda noticed. When you're helping with chores on a Monday morning even I'd notice. So, what?” 

Kenichi: “Hey now, don't rush to the ending. There's just a couple things I wanna talk about, so huuuh maybe we could use this opportunity to talk about them all together.” 

Subaru: “Talk? You mean, telling me to at least wash my own dishes?” 

Kenichi: “That too. Your dad hates doing dishes. I like making stuff so the preparing and cooking itself's fun, but once that's gone I lose motivation.” 

Kenichi wobbles and sways down, crumbling. Subaru knits his brows at his until-then overactive father, sensing that his dad's kinda hesitating. He's giving the two of them time to get themselves readied for the coming conversation by joking—Subaru can't do it well, but that he does do similar things is just personality. It's a natural resemblance. 

Subaru: “—Ow.” 

The second he thinks that, a sharp pain again assaults Subaru's head, needles stabbing his temples. While feeling a creaking in his skull as if his bones are shaving away, Subaru lowers his head to conceal his pained expression. 

Subaru: “S, so? My unmotivated dad's here to talk with me.” Kenichi: “Mhm, right. Subaru, is there... somebody you like?” Subaru: “—This's middle school!!” The topic's so stupid Subaru forgets he's in pain. His cheeks pulled back in anger, Subaru raises his head. Kenichi: “Oohhhohhh” Kenichi: “That kinda overreaction's a confession that there is somebody you like.” Subaru: “Hell are you saying looking so satisifed. I'm too dumbstruck and anguished and lamenting to speak.” Though honestly, Kenichi's off the mark. Subaru as of present has no interest in girls. Doesn't have one, won't get one. Might just be his presuppositions though. Kenichi: “Whaaat, that's boring. Didn't your dad give you some good advice when you were little? Girls're weak to years-long promises, so if you set the flag with whatever prime girl for ten years down the line, it opens that story route for you when you're a teen.” Subaru: “And then I went and sincerely accepted that, pressed girls all over the place for pinky promises, and now the whole region's got a ban on pinky promises. Because there were too many cases of scary-faced little kids going to force little girls to swallow needles!” Kenichi: “...It's a good thing your dad's lovable mask is hereditary. You got short legs, Mom's eyes, your dad's tension and Mom's carelessness, the status allocations when you came out of Mom's tummy were way too screwed up.” Subaru: “You said that when I was still attached to the umbilical cord...” The two of them sigh, losing some of their tension. Subaru: “So?” Subaru: “What were you actually talking about? I have the important duties of going back to sleep and also going back to sleep again after that, so please leave your business after the beep, quietly leave the room and go chat with mom.” 

Kenichi: “Don't you drive me away with a natural flow. And even if I talk with Mom she wouldn't get it. My wife and your mother's the lifeform with the worst suppositions in the world. I mean it's cute though.” 

Subaru's expression gets tired at this natural flow into going on about your lover. Kenichi hmms at he looks up, cheekily touching his nose. 

Kenichi: “Eh, what. The weather's good—let's go have an open-hearted father-son talk outside.”





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