CHAPTER 25: FOREST OF ICE
Garfiel: “Lookin' like yer gonna cry ain't gonna change anythin'. My amazin' self's already decided. Decided n' not budgin'. 'S PUSHIN' DONMORAKIN'S SHIT STAYS STUCK.”
Says Garfiel as he looks at Subaru, whose eyes are wide open in shock. Hearing Garfiel's condition threw Subaru's heart into confusion and chaos, and nothing else. Because,
Subaru: “Of all people, how the hell are you the one saying this?”
Garfiel: “Ohh? 'S my amazin' self objectin' really so surprisin'? Jus' how goddamn stupid optimistic are ya? 'F you think you can understand my amazin' self after just some tiny little conversations, we're gonna havva problem.”
Garfiel frowns at Subaru, but Subaru'd very much to pull a bitter face and bitch as much as Garfiel. Because this idea that Garfiel is rejecting, was a proposal composed by that very same Garfiel in the first place.
The narration has a moment to reflect on the shit that happened in chapter 22 and Subaru comments on having complex emotions about it but forget about that for now.
Subaru: “Why the hell are you objecting? Raising the chances of SANCTUARY being freed shouldn't be a bad deal for you.”
Garfiel: “Eh, I do know that 'f yer wholeways agree with th' granny's plans, acceptin' yer idea'd be efficient. —But, I dunwanna.”
Subaru: “Why are you talking like a kid!”
Garfiel crosses his arms and looks away. What he's saying has no logic to it. No logic to it, so he might be speaking entirely off emotion, which would make things complicated. Garfiel has a bit of a moody streak—or more accurately, his views are heavily under the control of fluctuations in his mood. If a generally-accepted idea isn't sticking with him, Subaru's not sure what to do that'll work.
Subaru: “Lewes-san...”
So Subaru turns to Lewes. But she just waves her hand, her overlong sleeve flapping.
Lewes: “When Lil' Gar's like this, even I cern't budge him. And unferternartly, there ain't any kinda thing in SANCTUARY to brute force others into listening to yer. Wanner try challenging him and see how it goes, Lil' Su?”
Subaru: “I'm not suicidal enough to challenge a guy who tosses around dragon carriages. ...Shit, just what is this?”
What Lewes is saying doesn't exactly approve of Garfiel's words, but since she's not proactively denying him either, she probably agrees with him. Lewes is still thinking that Emilia should be the one to conquer the TRIAL. Subaru doesn't know just how much she respects Roswaal, but it's safe to think that she and Roswaal agree on the fundamental points.
Emilia: “...Subaru.”
Says Emilia, sounding concerned, as she looks up at a Subaru who harbours too many emotions to express.
Emilia: “I-I'll do my best, so it's okay, you don't have to force yourself. It was a little... yes, a little sudden so I was surprised, but if I know what's going to happen...”
Subaru: “No, you're the one who shouldn't be pushing themselves, Emilia-tan. I'll persuade that stubborn bastard. And once I have, this TRIAL thing'll...”
Emilia: “Subaru, you...”
Subaru gets starting kneading out some logical arguments to convince Garfiel, prepping for the coming debate. But,
Emilia: “Subaru, you... you also... can't leave this to me?”
Subaru: “...Wha?”
Emilia: “I-I showed you me doing badly, so you're thinking you can't leave the TRIAL to me... so, in my place...”
Subaru: “No. That's not it.”
Emilia: “No, I can tell when your thinking is anxious, Subaru. You were able to overcome it properly, but far from overcoming it, I... I hadn't even resolved myself to face it... that PAST, with this name of TRIAL...”
Emilia shakes her head, not accepting Subaru's denial. Her lips tremble slightly, and her pale cheeks turn further pallid. Subaru knows this is happening due to her reflecting on her PAST.
Subaru: “You don't have to remember it!”
Emilia: “But If I don't face it, I won't overcome the TRIAL! Right, that's right... If I don't overcome the TRIAL, don't overcome the PAST... I'll never be Ruler. If I don't let the villagers, and people from Sanctuary, outside...”
Subaru puts his hands to her shoulders, but Emilia's not listening. Actually it's gotten to the point that the more he objects, the firmer her will gets.
Emilia: “I can't just impose on you all the time, Subaru. I musn't do that. Just a little while ago, you got so hurt, but you still worked so hard for me... and I, I'm making you shoulder absolutely everything again...”
Subaru: “It's fine, let me. This phrasing might not be great, but it's give and take. Putting the right person in the right place is best, right? When it comes to this TRIAL, my affinity is good. If that's all we're considering, then going any further than that is pointless. It seems like I can do it, so it'll be certainly faster if I do it. It's not often there's things it seems like I could do. There's still lots of chances out there for you to do you best, Emilia-tan.”
Emilia: “But isn't now an important one of those chances? If I look away from unpleasant things, and keep running away... what will happen to me?”
—What's so wrong about running away!? Would be something he'd very much like to scream. If running from unpleasant things, averting your gaze from painful things, and turning your back on agonizing things meant you could live in peace, then that was not a bad option as one way of life. Subaru himself had lived taking as much distance he could from tribulations. So, he believed that there was no reason to criticise that way of life—albeit it being a weak way of life—and had also stated as much.
But even so. Right now, with him understanding Emilia's stubborn heart and her weakness, Subaru should affirm it. But—
For some reason, he can't get the words out. Emilia closes her eyes and looks down. Hands still on her shoulders, feeling her body heat, Subaru had no idea what to do.
Garfiel: “Ha. Yer free 't have yer talk n' have yer bout, but listenin' from aside sounds like Emilia¬sama's winnin'. N' actually, the TRIAL was somethin' prepared for Emilia-sama t' challenge. Buttin' in from sideways's...”
Subaru: “Shut up! You... you don't know anything yet, so you...”
Garfiel: “Ohh?”
Subaru explodes in anger at Garfiel, Garfiel starting to get dangerous. But Subaru glares at Garfiel unafraid.
Subaru: “Do you know what'll happen if you push this on her? Can you really be fine watching her get injured, worn down, suffering? ...What was wrong with me?”
Garfiel: “...I got no idea what yer sayin' all a sudden.”
Subaru: “I'm saying that you're thinking entirely based off conditions and benefits, you haven't considered Emilia herself once. I'm sure the gains that'll come from overcoming the TRIAL will be huge. But, you're not entering the wounds, the tears, into your calculations. ...Not her will, either.”
Despite being the one who was closest to Emilia as she degraded last loop, Subaru never once told her to stop.
Emilia: “What, do... you know, Subaru?”
Subaru: “Emilia?”
Emilia tugs on Subaru's sleeve, her eyes open wide as she looks at him. Her eyes host a whirlpool of emotion, drowned beneath her rising tears. She shakes her head.
Emilia: “No... No,”
Emilia: “You know? Subaru, you, do you, know... my, PAST?”
Subaru: “Wait, let's calm down. Take deep breaths. The conversation's going somewhere bad. So,”
Emilia: “N-no... I, didn't mean to... I, just... just...”
Emilia returns to the state she was in inside the tomb, just after the TRIAL ended. Confused, disordered, her words becoming incoherent. Her wet eyes reflect Subaru without seeing him. She reaches her fingers out, gripping on Subaru's sleeve.
Emilia: “Everyone is, at me... because, at Mother and me... but, no. That's not true. The truth is different. Back then, I... what really...” Subaru: “Emilia, what're...” Subaru can't do anything, when a figure suddenly moves before him. It's,
Subaru: “—Ram.” Ram doesn't answer to the address, slipping behind Emilia and swiftly plugging Emilia's mouth with her hand. Emilia's eyes open slightly in shock.
Ram: “Please excuse me.” Emilia: “...ah” And Emilia crumples. Subaru quickly reaches out for her and manages to hold her close before she hits the ground, breathing a sigh of relief. He looks up at Ram. Subaru: “What was that?” Ram: “A swift method for calming her down. Would you be mad, Barusu?” Subaru: “I wanna complain about it being forced, but... I think that was optimal. Sorry, caused a pain.”
Ram: “That you be the one apologizing for Emilia-sama's circumstances is certainly odd, Barusu. When did you inherit the Great Spirit's position as Emilia-sama's guardian?” Subaru: “I'm not trying to...” Do that, is what Subaru's about to continue with, when he notices that there is absolutely nothing persuasive in what he's saying. It's true that he's been keeping more intense watch on Emilia than usual, with Puck absent. And now that he knows challenging the TRIAL wears her down, that feeling has multiplied. And it certainly feels true that, without her relied-upon spirit at her side, Emilia's been leaning on Subaru.
Garfiel: “'F she's gonna need babysittin', the talk ends here.” Snorts Garfiel as he looks at Subaru, tenderly holding a sleeping Emilia. Subaru goes to object, but feeling Emilia fidgeting slightly in his arms makes him unconsciously shut his mouth and he loses the chance. All he can do is watch as Garfiel turn his back on him and starts leaving. Garfiel: “We'll put today's TRIAL 's an exception. From tomorrow on, th' one takin' the TRIAL'll be
Emilia-sama. My amazin' self won't accept you takin' it.”
Says Garfiel, bearing his teeth, as he leaves Lewes' house.
Lewes: “Sorry about him, Lil' Su. But, I agree. Faster SANCTUARY gets freed the better, but... followin' Lil' Roz's plans's convenient for us too.”
Subaru: “Convenient, which means...”
Lewes: “Even if SANCTUARY is freed, nothing changes abert us being part of Lil' Roz's fief, and under his patronage. So, we'd like to avoid making displeasing exceptions much as posserble. ...Our intentierns aren't so self-centred that we want him to think bad of us.”
Lewes' statements do reflect a serious issue for the residents of SANCTUARY. Subaru loses even more room for debate. Team SANCTUARY Garfiel and Lewes exit the house, leaving the remaining people inside being the members of Roswaal's mansion +- a.
Subaru: “So element a Otto, how do you see this situation?”
Otto: “Could you please not drag me, who feels extreme discomfort and poor future prospects here and had been intending to keep quiet and let this pass, into this? ...But, if I were to sincerely state my impression after hearing that conversation, I think Garfiel's argument is more sound.”
Otto raises his finger and nods several times as he looks at Subaru.
Otto: “It aligns with the Margrave's aims, and Emilia-sama's position is that of a Royal Selection candidate. I do believe that should you undergo the TRIAL, Natsuki-san, that achievement would become Emilia-sama's own, but... putting aside third parties who hear of this in the future, do you believe those currently present in SANCTUARY would agree? Put otherwise, would this bring their support?”
Subaru: “...It is that I understand the reasoning here. No mater how you consider it, it's infinitely more beneficial that Emilia be the one to free SANCTUARY. But...”
Ram: “Emilia-sama is incapable of overcoming the TRIAL?”
Says Ram so bluntly it's refreshing. Subaru's expression actually calms down at it.
Subaru: “From what I've seen, I think getting any results in a short time'll be harsh. It's kind of a hopeless story talking about this without actually knowing what Emilia's past was, but... I'm sure you two understand this situation isn't one where we have that kind of time.”
Ram: “I would at least appreciate this be ended within the three years settlement of the Royal Selection.”
Subaru: “That's being way too patient.”
Ram's probably joking but since she said it with a serious expression, Subaru crushes the chance of her being serious about this in advance. Otto notices what Subaru's saying and nods.
Otto: “There's the burden on the evacuees, and the circumstances surrounding SANCTUARY's food. From a long-term perspective, it's unrealistic to keep sustaining this number of people.”
Subaru: “Yeah, that's about it. Just living as evacuees'll build stress, but then if you add food insufficiencies onto it, people'll immediately explode with dissatisfaction. There's no point in the SANCTUARY guys keeping hold of hostages when it's worsening their standard of eating. —At least, not in holding everyone.”
Ram: “Do you believe Garf may cull from the villagers?”
Says Ram, her voice somewhat raised. Subaru's eyebrows raise at her rather unexpected reaction, Ram herself perhaps feeling discomfort at her own behaviour as she pats a finger through her bangs. Ram: “I would prefer not to think of it, but with Garf's personality, it is possible. Should it come to the eleventh hour, he would unhesitatingly act according to his own set of precedences.”
Subaru: “He's like you on that. I agree with it too. ...So I wanna suggest we get the hostages out of SANCTUARY before that happens.” The condition of 'SUBARU TAKES THE TRIAL' isn't going to work this time, so the negotiations will likely be tougher. But ultimately Subaru still expects they'll prevail.
Subaru: “Either way, if the guys from SANCTUARY are going to push Emilia into taking the TRIAL, then I want them to let us do something to curtail some of her unhappiness for it.” Ram: “...Surprising. I had expected something more akin to a disobedient child's dissent from you,
Barusu.” Says Ram at Subaru's putting aside his worries about Emilia taking the TRIAL. Subaru nods. Subaru: “It's annoying, and it annoys me, but... going along with Roswaal's plans is what makes the most sense. Yeah. If you can just ignore that Emilia'll be hurt, then it's obvious that doing things this way is best.” Ram: “You know she'll be wounded, but force her to walk on. Quite an oni you are.”
Subaru: “Having an oni tell me that makes me an unusual one, too. Just... no, nevermind.” Ram furrows her brows at Subaru's shutting up, but Subaru doesn't intend to continue. He lifts up the Emilia in his arms carefully, so she won't wake up. She's light. Unconscious people are meant to be heavier than usual, but she's light as a feather.
Subaru: “Ram. After Emilia's settled in the bedroom, I wanna talk to Roswaal. Can I?” Ram: “Roswaal-sama is in the midst of recuperation. Nobody may enter his room for a time.” Subaru: “I want to talk about the TRIAL. This alone's something that if I talk with lower-rank people like you, it won't go anywhere. I need the brain's opinion.” Ram closes her eyes for a while, scrutinising Subaru's words. She eventually gives a tired sigh. Ram: “Come seek advice from Roswaal-sama. Barusu, you take Emilia-sama to the bed... without engaging in anything suspicious.” Subaru: “What a thing to say to serious-mode me. I wasn't even thinking anything, but now thanks to you saying that I'm aware of this direct feeling of Emilia-tan's softness my knees're shaking, take responsibility for this.”
Ram: “Stand watch, Otto.” Otto: “Most certainly!” Ram exits the house, leaving behind Otto, Subaru, and Emilia, Otto still keeping a saluting pose as he looks toward Subaru. Otto: “Now, you're welcome to take Emilia-sama to the bed. If you'd like any help...” Subaru: “Before that, what's with this submissive attitude you've got toward Ram?” Otto: “Well I mean, Ram-san is directly subordinate to the Margrave, yes? Considering that, I would say cajoling and buying Ram-san's favour rather than yours, which is firmly stuck to Emilia¬ sama, will give more hope for making relations with the Margrave, hehheh.” Subaru: “Can you do something about how you're making my first impression of you being a capable merchant progressively shift into a sly little villain? Soon you're gonna get purposefully left out and butchered in the shadows.”
Subaru sighs and carries Emilia to the bedroom. He lightly fixes the disorderly sheets and carefully puts Emilia to bed. When,
Subaru: “Ah...” Just after he pulls the sheets up to her shoulders and is about to leave, Subaru notices Emilia's fingers clutching the hem of his outfit. Feeling the sensation of her reliant fingers, and her sweetness, he unhooks them. He cradles her separated fingers in his hands.
Subaru: “Wait for me, Emilia.”
Subaru: “I'll do something soon. I'll settle things, without you crying or suffering any further. I will.” Pledges Subaru, and he releases Emilia's hand.
He stands up, turns around, and heads for the house's exit. —Heads for Roswaal. There were just a few too many things he needed to hear from that warlock.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Roswaal: “—Iiiiiii see, I do coooooomprehend the situation.”
Touching his chin, Roswaal nods after hearing Subaru's long story. Location is a room of Roswaal's private recuperation hut, people present are only Subaru and Roswaal. Roswaal's lying on the bed, body upright, his gaze on Subaru sharp.
Subaru's like, and so I think that kinda thing would be best as a common ground, incorporating SANCTUARY people's side as much as possible.
Roswaal: “Weeeeeell, the moment that Emilia-sama entered within SANCTUARY’s barrier, Garfiel's group's intentions essentially became reeeeeeealised. Overcoming the TRIAL is necessary for Emilia-sama heeeeerself to exit SANCTUARY. If the hostages they took for insurance turn simply into food-expending burdens, releasing them is reasonable... is the concept.”
Subaru: “I think it's a sensible idea. It's not that we'll be abandoning or putting off SANCTUARY's problems. Just, it's the idea that everything except the purely necessary should be whittled off.”
Roswaal: “Whaaaaat pleasant words. This is the doubt inside you, correct? That if prospects for releasing SANCTUARY disappear, or otherwise Emilia-sama's heart cannot withstand the TRIAL, the hostages will become materials for coercing Emilia-sama. And you're dispelling that concern beeeeeforehand... is what it looks like.”
Says Roswaal, one eye closed, looking at Subaru with his yellow eye. Subaru crosses his arms and while nodding,
Subaru: “Uh no sorry, didn't think that far. Or actually that you immediately came up with that terrifying train of thought kinda makes me recoil.”
Roswaal: “Ooooooh myyyyy? I overthought, or rather misthought? My apologies. Hooooowever, that is another manner in which you could cooooooonsider matters.”
Seeing Roswaal smile, Subaru thinks that Garfiel wouldn't go so far. While Garfiel is stubborn and inflexible, and has a slight trait where talking doesn't always work with him, he wouldn't do anything illogical or immoral. Subaru's only known Garfiel a few days, but that's how he appraises him.
Roswaal: “So? What is it you waaaaant to do with me, Subaru-kun?”
Subaru: “I want, if it's possible, for you rather than me to be the one taking charge of what we just talked about. This time it's... it looks like my relations've gotten bad.”
Roswaal: “And whaaaaat would that mean?”
Subaru: “Seems that bastard Garfiel isn't too fond of me. Not like I've given up on persuading him, but I can tell it'll be rough trying to talk to him today or tomorrow.”
Subaru remembers the sharpness of Garfiel's gaze when they parted, filled with hostility and malice, a glare as if looking at the enemy of one's parents. Subaru has no idea why he got hit with it. Either did something Garfiel considered impermissable, or made some gaffe that completely overturned his faith. Either way,
Subaru: “When he's emotional, it's likely he'll just completely reject my ideas. And on top of that's Lewes-san, seems like she'll passively accept what he says if Garfiel does object. Since I can see that possibility happening, I'd like for that possibility to be cut short.”
Roswaal: “Which is my turn, iiiiiiis what this is. Well, that's fine. I'll speak with Lewes-sama and Garfiel. Although Garfiel dislikes me as well, so I don't know if heeeeeee'll agree immediately.”
Either way Roswaal's in. Subaru gives a sigh of relief.
Roswaal: “Noooow then. Is that all the business you haaaaave with me?” Subaru: “No, there's more. —We haven't had the vital, vital conversation yet.” Roswaal tilts his head, brushing his long hair behind his back and closing one eye. Maybe it's become a habit, but again he stares at Subaru with his yellow eye. Subaru fixes his posture.
Subaru: “The TRIAL in the tomb showed Emilia her PAST. Do you have an idea what PAST would make her suffer seeing it?” Roswaal closes his yellow eye and nods, in thought. The room falls into silence, the waiting getting to Subaru.
Roswaal: “Don't you think that questioning me, without asking Emila-sama directly, iiiiiis quite cowardly?” Subaru: “If you want to insult me as underhanded, as cowardly, go right ahead. I'd certainly like to hear everything from Emilia's mouth if I could. But,”
There was surely no way Subaru could make Emilia talk about something that made her cry and hurt her that much. Subaru: “I want to know about her, and there's things I have to know, as well. If there's anything I can use for that purpose, I'll even grasp at straws.”
Roswaal: “I've had people call me many things, but being treating like straw iiiiiiis indeed a new experience. ...Weeeeelll then.” Roswaal gives a small laugh, his expression then suddenly vanishing, gazing at Subaru. He touches his hand to his chin. Roswaal: “Emilia-sama is a half-elf. Aaaaand, due to the WITCH OF ENVY's influence, half-elves are horribly regarded with discrimination. Thiiiiiiis much would be something even yooooooou would already know, yeeeees?” Subaru: “...Yeah. You can tell that Emilia gets treated unjustly because of that, if you've seen how she acted at the palace, and so on. She ran into that unpleasant bunch, too.” The malicious witch cultists arise in Subaru's mind. He dispels the image with a shake of his head. Roswaal: “Hooooowever,” Roswaal: “While it is true that half-elves receive particularly bad oppressioooooon... the matter does not end there. Incidentally, Subaru-kun, haaaaaave you ever seen an elf while in the Capital?” Subaru: “Elf? Not a half-elf? ...no, I don't think I have.” Roswaal: “Right?” Roswaal: “Half-elves aren't the oooooonly ones to receive harsh oppression all across the world.
Elves, one portion of what begets a half-elf, are also targets.”
Subaru: “...! No, that's way too indiscriminate no matter how you say. And if you're speaking logically...”
Roswaal: “Humans would also have to be exterminated? Uuuuuunfortuately, humanity is faaaaaar more populous in this world than demi-human races, and their nations are also large. The result of the divide between demi-humans and humans growing too wide was the Demi-human War, buuuuuut that has nothing to do with this conversation.”
Subaru: “So, either way elves have a past of being oppressed.”
Roswaal: “Iiiiiiin suuuuuum,”
Roswaal: “It's obvious that half-elves wouldn't show their faces in places like the Capital, and their parent race of elves also have difficulty making appearances. That you saw noooooo elves in the Capital, was likely laaaaaaargely coming from that.”
Subaru: “That's... agreed. But, how does this tie into it?”
Roswaal leans his back against his pillow, looking up faintly.
Roswaal: “As an extension of half-elf discrimination, elves are also oppressed and meet bitter experiences. Then, juuuuust where should the elves liiiiiiive?”
Subaru: “Elves'd be... it feels a given they'd have villages in the forest or something. In the middle of a forest where humans don't tread, while hunting or whatever just quietly.”
Roswaal: “I don't know how much you know, buuuuut it's fine to generally go off that impression. The elves constructed towns, and quiiiiiietly went to live deep in the forests. —Elior Forest, used to be one of those elf territories.”
Roswaal's tone changes. Subaru's shoulders shake. It feels as though the room's temperature is dropping, as if Roswaal's words hold some indescribable power. Subaru remembers hearing the name of this forest before.
—Elior Forest was a name that had come up several times while negotiating in Crusch's mansion. It was a location rich with magic ores, in a territory under Roswaal's management. And,
Subaru: “It's frozen solid, and nobody can get near it...”
Roswaal: “The first freezing of Elior Forest, and its subsequent spreading is now recorded as an event from over 90 years ago. It is a world of absolute zero which freezes all, which freezes every living creature. —She lived in that world, all by herself.”
Roswaal: “—Deep in Elior Forest, both the elves and their village even now remain frozen solid, stopped in time.”
Subaru falls silent.
Roswaal: “All except the single half-elf girl, who committed the slip.”
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