Re:Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu - Volume 4 - Chapter 37

CHAPTER 37: FIRST URGE TO MURDER 

He hears the torrent of a rushing stream. 

A furious sound of water. Coursing up to down, following gravity and following current, jetting up spray was a cascade. Reverberating at his ears, or perhaps inside his skull, the thunder rattles Subaru's brain as his consciousness is led from forfeit into sobriety. He sees a light, and— 

Subaru: “—a, hhu” 

Feeling a jarring in his throat, Subaru's breathing loses its rhythm as the nausea hits. In, out, the supposedly-regular intervals of his breathing turn fuzzy. His body lost of oxygen twitches and trembles, spit building in his mouth as Subaru opens his eyes. 

Subaru: “Gheuh, agghhk!” 

Toppled on the floor, in face-down posture. Pressing his arms against the ground in prostrate position, Subaru puts his hand to his chest while he takes repeated breaths to calm his lungs. The pain alleviates, he spits out the congested saliva, his body settles down as oxygen spreads through his brain. He takes a breath. —And, recollects. 

Subaru: “uaahhhh, ahhh!?” 

Recollects a cavern opening in his chest, and the bereavement of his insides flowing out. He rubs his torso, confirming the absence of cavern, the stiffness of his whole body for now disappearing. Experiencing the sensation of shock numbing his limbs, Subaru chafes his forehead against the ground to generate friction, the abrasive pain granting the existence of his flesh confirmatory legitimacy. 

Subaru: “What, at... the end...” 

Face-down on the ground with blood escaping his body, that end, and the feeling of his soul being sucked out of that same hole, was definitely there. But that was not the cause of the bereavement gnawing Subaru's flesh. The true terror was afterwards, having arrived at death, until guided into death, the dull ember of life present. Even though his consciousness had been vague, his memories fuzzy, he still remembered this alone clearly. 

—Something, some arcane something, had DEVOURED him. 

Subaru: “S-slashed, bludgeoned, frozen, fallen, I've died in lots of ways... b-but, being ea... eaten at the end, is a new... one.” 

Conscious of what happened to his flesh at the end, terror rises. His direct cause of death was blood loss from the hole, and he had no intention to make light of DEATH itself. But it was true he had experienced the fragment of possibility of DEATH not being the end. So, the sensation of your flesh being devoured came accompanied with that strong a sense of loss? Subaru had lost his fingers and legs before, but— 

Subaru: “Fingers!?” 

Thinking that far, Subaru feels anger for the dullness of his own head. There was no doubt that RETURN BY DEATH had activated. That was fact, given the unsalvagable wounds he sustained and the DEATH he felt. There was no existence in this would as deeply learned in death as Natsuki Subaru. Died, returned, that much was assured. What was not assured was where on the timeline Subaru returned to. 

Subaru: “Ah...” 

Turning his bloodshot gaze to the surroundings, Subaru desperately attempts to confirm his time and location. But what holds Subaru back from desperation is the feeling of his fingertips from when he wiped his brow of sweat. —The three missing fingers of his right hand, were definitely present. 

Subaru: “Fingers... are there, so...” 

Subaru follows his gaze from his fingers down to the elbow of his raised right arm. No signs of wound or scarring. The white scars from the commotion with the witchbeasts yet remain, but those are a different story. 

Confirming that his arm is unwounded, Subaru moves on to his shoulder and hip—each having been speared by Elsa's throwing weapons. There's no sensation of his skin being taut. Convinced of the truth that he has returned to before facing Elsa, he could about collapse with relief. 

Subaru: “Any... anyway so, now...” 

Fortune amid misfortune, matters have settled without any extra despairs varnishing his death. Relieved and drained, Subaru lowers his eyes, thanking his bad luck. Which is when he shifts his gaze aside and notices it. 

—In a corner of the dark room, he notices a writhing Emilia. 

Subaru: “Emili... a...” 

Getting up to run over to her, Subaru notices that they are inside a mouldy stone room alone, and he has only one guess as to when he could be. Meaning, 

Subaru: “The restart point hasn't changed!” 

The tomb directly after conquering the TRIAL—that was where Subaru returned, and in exchange for not having procured anything yet, here was where nothing was lost for the re-do. 

※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※ 

—There still had to be some method left to do something about everything. 

The thought that passes through Subaru's brain is so positive it's most unthinkable it came from the same person who had just been trembling at their final moment. 

It's presently two nights after their arrival in SANCTUARY. Thinking over the information from last  loop and the first loop, Subaru organizes the condition and event content while scrambling for an answer. The content's gruesome enough to be called the usual, with the initial thought of being unable to start anywhere, and the agonizing over being so stuck it's hopeless both being entirely same as always. 

Subaru: “But, usual method hasn't been working this time.” 

Subaru is incapable of grasping the full story this loop. Conditions are such that even against an easily-understood threat, he still can't find the begging to any effective countermeasures. Presently there's Elsa, a clear threat with combat power so strong it's unopposable. Being that the stairway gimmick didn't work on her, she might actually be more of a nuisance than Betelgeuse. Dealing with her being the most important condition still hasn't changed. However, it seems the problems don't end there. 

Subaru: “The end of last time... Why was SANCTUARY empty?” 

Having Beatrice dump him all the way in SANCTUARY was still incomprehensible, but the incomprehensibility of the absence of people in SANCTUARY overpowered that. All that running around and calling out, for zero reaction. Then was the final disaster, which attacked a Subaru seeking answers in the tomb. 

Subaru has absolutely no idea what gave him the wound that killed him. Remembering the still-vivid injury resurrects only pain and terror, and it seems unlikely he'll be figuring out the cause from that. 

Just what on earth happened in SANCTUARY? What happened to Subaru himself? What were Beatrice's intentions? And Emilia— 

Subaru: “...No way.” 

Thinking that far, Subaru's face stiffens in astonishment at the contradiction between his thoughts and behaviour. 

This organizing of the situation was important. Figuring out his goals, and drafting plans to realise them, was also important. Gathering up and putting form to this scattered information, making it an aid for reaching the desired future, was the action that he should prioritize. 

But did that mean he should be ignoring Emilia, fighting a nightmare right here before him? 

Subaru: “I,” 

Emilia is presently taking the TRIAL, and suffering. The weight of the cross she bears torments her body, her soul. That pain will continue long, ending without any reprieve. 

Subaru knows. Knows how much taking this saddens her, wears her down, weakens her heart. He had even resolved to complete the TRIAL in her place because he couldn't bear watching. He had done everything he could to mow away all obstacles, and organize a road for her to pass. 

So then why, while seeing her in pain, had he been relieved? Thank goodness the point where I returned is this present where she is suffering. His knowing the conclusion being the cruelness of it, Subaru had prioritised his own thinking over her. 

The instant he understands this, Subaru comprehends that he has degraded into something horrendously disgusting. With his cherished before him, knowing that she was gasping in unbearable agony, he averted his gaze from her distress, persisting well in foolish egocentricity. As far as Subaru was concerned, this was exactly what abhorrent, repulsive weakness was. 

Subaru: “Anyway...” 

He didn't have time to be tormented with guilt and his heart's contradictions. He had to wake up Emilia immediately, and leave this place. He could take time to gather his thoughts outside. There was no reason to elongate her suffering. And— 

Subaru: “Things're this stuck, 'cause there's a guy around who's gotta start talking.” 

Subaru's own leniency irritated him. There's this character related to the crux of the matter, and he's gotten away with it with excessive ambiguousness. Resulting was the tragedy at the mansion, and the incomprehensible death at SANCTUARY. If the future to visit him should he remain small be that one, then— 

Subaru: “I'll change what I did completely.” 

Says Subaru as he reaches out to wake Emilia. Not even Subaru himself realises that his expression is twisted with unrestrainable fury. 

※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※ 

Subaru: “—How much do you know, Roswaal?” 

Are Subaru's first words after opening the door. Lying in bed, Roswaal narrows his eyes. Seeing himself reflected in his heterochromatic eyes, Subaru stomps into the room, slamming the door shut behind him, broadcasting his emotions. 

—After looking after Emilia returned from the TRIAL, Subaru left the tomb and headed to Lewes' house to put Emilia to bed. He left Emilia's care to Ram, declined to kill time until she woke up, and went to Roswaal's recovery hut. Garfiel's silent glaring at Subaru all through his time at the house was a factor for concern, but fortunately he didn't pick any fights along the way and Subaru uneventfully reached Roswaal's. 

Roswaal: “Hmmmmmmmm.” 

Looking up at an uncalm Subaru, Roswaal raises a finger, points it at Subaru, and waggles it. 

Roswaal: “Yooooou've certainly become muuuuuuch angrier than you were a moment ago. Thaaaaaaaaat's a good sign.” 

Subaru: “Don't mess around. I don't have any room for pranks or jokes right now. I'm ready to use force, that's how I've prepared myself.” 

Snarls Subaru at a cheery Roswaal. Subaru goes to stand right at the bedside, placing his hand on  the bed, looking down at the clown from extreme close range. 

Subaru: “Just got back from taking the TRIAL. —Gotta load of questions.” 

Roswaal: “...Really, now. You and the TRIAL. I see. I see, Iiiiiiiiiii do seeeeeee.” 

In Subaru-time, his parting with this parents has already been several days ago. In actual time it happened less than an hour ago. This is now the third time Roswaal's given an incomprehensible reaction to discussing that TRIAL. 

The first time was a flash of violent emotion so brief it almost seemed it hadn't happened. The second time he seemed to accept it rather calmly. But even so, some uncharacteristic melancholy did slip though. This third time, what reaction would he give? Subaru personally wanted the indignation from the first attempt. He believed that even Roswaal would be prone to letting his mouth slip if enraged. But contrary to scheming Subaru's desires, Roswaal's mouth relaxes into a slight smile. 

Roswaal: “Noooooow then, let's have me ask a question.” 

Subaru: “Huh? What're you saying? You? A question? ...Bastard, piss around too much and I'll seriously flip.” 

Roswaal: “I dooooooooo well understand that your anger is justified. I am asking from that understanding. If you align with my thoughts... there wouldn't be aaaaaaaaany reason to be sparing with my cooperation, you seeeeeeee.” 

Subaru: “If I answer that question... no, actually wait.” 

Roswaal perhaps has something to propose to a Subaru stifling back his anger. For an instant Subaru goes to consider it, but immediately aborts. Because he notices that if this goes the same as the conversations with Roswaal thus far, he'll get washed away in the atmosphere Roswaal creates. By not resisting and going along with it, he's had all these awful experiences. If Subaru wishes to change developments somehow, first he would have to start changing from this juncture. 

Subaru: “I'm not answering your questions. I'm the one who wants to talk. I talk first.” 

Roswaal: “...My, weeeeeeell isn't that raaaaaaaaaather arrogant.” 

Subaru: “Not saying I won't answer questions, but I've got this crazy feeling that giving you first dibs'll make things go in a crap direction. Nipping that one in the bud.” 

Roswaal closes an eye and gives a small sigh. He presents his palms to Subaru, surrendering first dibs. 

Roswaal: “Goooooo ahead.” 

Roswaal: “Question toooooooo your liking. Indeed, that I must be the one driving the conversation —iiiiiiiiiiis not the case, after all.” 

Subaru: “Actually feels weird you're being reasonable, but... well, probing into it won't go anywhere so I'll take it. Question. —What kind of contract ties you and Beatrice?” 

Roswaal falls into silence, proving this question was not one he expected. Although extremely faint, seeing the stiffness in Roswaal's cheeks convinces Subaru the question was a critical hit. 

Subaru can't get his conversation with Beatrice upon parting out of his head, or the GOSPEL she owns. The question also relates to how he'll approach her from now on. This wasn't something he could let sit, and he had to decide from this knowledge. —Decide, unavoidable in this series of loops, how to approach Beatrice. 

Subaru: “Answer, Roswaal. No tedious 'you didn't answer my question so I won't answer yours'  reply. Let's hear it.” Getting impatient with the still-silent Roswaal, Subaru piles up demands for a reply. Subaru recognizes irritation asserting itself in his chest. It was the flipside of his wish that his bad premonition, bad expectations be overturned. Every second of silence feels a minute, ten minutes long. Roswaal finally, slowly opens his mouth. 

Roswaal: “—You raising that question here, perhaps means you've remembered?” 

Not only is it not the answer Subaru desired, Roswaal responds with his own question. The attitude annoys Subaru, who clicks his tongue, and waves his hand at Roswaal. Subaru: “Shut up.” Subaru: “Why're you replying with a question? Even if I concede and have to ask, you're answering  my questions first. I'm not handing over my turn.” Roswaal: “I see. Then let's proceed by taking alternating turns. Your question was about the 

CONTRACT BETWEEN MYSELF AND BEATRICE, cooooooorrect? Beatrice and I are not tied by contract. Over.” Subaru: “Wha—!?” Subaru goes speechless. Roswaal reaches his hand out. Roswaal: “Nooooooow,” Roswaal: “This time it's your turn to answer myyyyyyyy question. —Have you remembered?” Subaru: “...Remembered what. Just saying, our relationship isn't deep enough to be finishing each  other's sentences. You better not think I can put together what you're saying off sentences missing their subjects.” 

Roswaal: “That reply told me your answer to my question. ...Unfortunate.” Subaru had gone to outwit him as reprisal, but even his attempt at that was careless and Roswaal comes out on top. Roswaal's eyes lower with gloom. 

Roswaal: “It seems I won't be reaching it.” Subaru: “...What're?” 

Roswaal: “Your turn to question. Ask a beeeeeetter, uuuuuuundodgable query this time.” 

Roswaal interrupts Subaru, who cannot erase his irritation at Roswaal who is aware he is being evasive. Subaru takes a deep breath to calm his emotions, puts a finger to his temple, and forces himself to think. 

Subaru: “You said there's no contract between you and Beatrice? Then, why's Beatrice in your mansion? I don't get the relationship between you two.” 

Roswaal: “That turned into two questions, and you've been eeeeeeeeeentirely focused on Beatrice. Will Emilia-sama be aaaaaaaaalright? Or do you have a taste for that juvenile-looking girl?” 

Subaru: “Not into younger girls, and no plans to start her route in the romantic meaning in the slightest. Do think I have to do her route in a crushing-the-status-quo meaning though.” 

Something does twinge in Subaru's heart when he thinks about Beatrice. But its origin is different from the twinge when he thinks of Emilia or Rem, and Subaru doesn't really understand what the emotion means. But even after seeing Beatrice with a GOSPEL, Subaru thinks like this: 

—He didn't want to accept that his relationship with Beatrice had been a forgery in accordance to the writings of an incomprehensible book. 

Subaru: “And for that, I need to know her. And, the only one who seems deeply connected to her circumstances is you. So I have to ask you.” 

Roswaal: “Try so energetically to pick up eeeeeeeeeverything that catches your eye, and it'll hinder you when choosing what's precious toooooooo you. I believe that naivety is nothing more than an impediment, when focusing on the true, genuine thing most important to yooooooou.” 

Subaru: “I know both my hands're occupied. So I'm gonna grab her in my mouth while I'm at it. Complaints?” 

Roswaal: “Nooooooot a one. I do think you wound up merely saying something smooth, but I'd saaaaaay that's fine. —The answer will be what happens when that time comes in reality.” 

Mutters Roswaal at the end. Subaru's gaze sharpens. 

Roswaal: “Noooooow,” 

Roswaal: “The reason Beatrice is staying in the mansion, waaaaaas it. Her being in my mansion is from her acquaintance with the Mathers family. If I were to say, the family head from several generations ago instituted her by his goodwill to lord the mansion's Forbidden Archive. That arrangement has caaaaaaarried down to my generation.” 

Subaru: “Hiring a lord. ...Then, this's something different from a contract?” 

Roswaal: “That wasn't conforming to the question format... but, noooooo concern. My questions carry haaaaaaardly any meaning any more. You would already know that Beatrice is a spirit, cooooooorrect?” 

Subaru nods. Roswaal raises a finger. 

Roswaal: “For spirits, contracts with individuals possess incredible importance. The relationship between Emilia-sama and the Great Spirit would be eeeeeeeexactly such a case.” 

Subaru: “...Yeah, Emilia's toiled with the having lots of annoying conditions thing, too. Though can't say that Great Sprit's been showing his face lately.” 

Subaru still carries unease toward Puck due to being killed three times by him, and for his off-kilter assessment towards sleeping Rem. Since he's now disappeared before they could sort this out, Subaru's feelings toward the cat spirit are yet fixed as being complex. 

Roswaal: “Leaving aside the Great Spirit's moodiness, Beatrice applies as no exception. She and I do have a cooperative relationship, hoooooowever that is incredibly a non-interference arrangement based on overlap of our mutual benefit. She is not aiding me iiiiiiiiin my goal, and vice versa.” 

Subaru: “I get you and Beako getting along by being indifferent, but this's got nothing to do with the stuff about contract relationships.” 

Roswaal: “Oop, excuse me. Contract relationships are yet again separate. Beatrice is a spirit and consequently she regards contracts seriously. If you were to speak of contracts with regard to her, that would yet another separate, raaaaaaather large problem. Beeeeeeeeecause that girl has already been bound in a contract foooooooor 400 years.” 

Subaru leans closer to Roswaal at that vital information. 

Subaru: “There!” 

Subaru: “That contract from 400 years ago, its details are what I wanna know.” 

Roswaal: “Not a spirit out there would let a contract's contents slip so eeeeeeeeasily. The contractor of the time would surely not remain, and unless Beatrice should divulge it herself yoooooooou'll probably never know.” 

Subaru: “Fuck, useless! If I just knew about this 400-years contract...” 

Then he would he not know why that girl stayed holed in that room, alone and small? 

Roswaal: “However, I can tell you this.” 

Roswaal: “Beatrice has been bound in a contract for 400 years. That another, new contract be overlaid atop that one iiiiiiiiis inconceivable. If you wish to pull her out of that place, you would need to start with making thaaaaaaat contract break.” 

Subaru: “Make... the contract break?” 

Roswaal: “Or fulfil it to completion, wooooould also work. Considering the high possibility the target of the contract has been lost, I woooooould think it much wiser toooooooo break it?” 

The miracle of Roswaal saying something constructive. Subaru's face is sceptical, but gradually turns to one of scales dropped from the eyes. 

Subaru: “—Did I say a single word about wanting to take Beatrice outside?” 

Subaru's voice is low, his gaze sharp and piercing through Roswaal. His hand still on the bed, Subaru raps his fingers on the sheets as if counting off time. Lowering his gaze to witness this, Roswaal closes one eye, and with Subaru reflected in his yellow pupil, 

Roswaal: “You truly are—a man who ooooooonly notices what I'd rather you not.” Subaru: “What do you...” Roswaal: “Either way, thiiiiiiiis time is hollow to me. Should we be fiiiiiiiiine to partition the  conversation here?” Subaru: “Don't—don't you fucking piss around!” In a complete change from before, a shade of despair rises in Roswaal's eyes. Roswaal: something something too late to move my heart but... “Shouldn't it be fine to just doooooo  what you want?” 

Subaru: “What the fuck is with your bullshit attitude!? It's an important... we're having an important conversation, and this's how you're gonna fucking be!? I still have questions I...” Roswaal: “As I said, if you have questions wouldn't it be fine toooooo ask them? Although, whether 

I answer properly or not is already completely dependant ooooooon my mood.” 

In contrast to a pissed Subaru, Roswaal steadily loses trace of emotion. Subaru's face reddening, Roswaal strokes his navy hair as he tilts his head. Roswaal: “You haaaaaaave no questions?” Subaru: “—. I understand that she's, that Beatrice's in the mansion bound by contract. Enough on  those circumstances. What I want to ask is different. That black book she has... Tell me what that is, now.” Roswaal: “Ohhhhh, so you saw it. Your impressions? Just what did you thiiiiiiink of it?” 

Subaru: “Don't answer with a question. —The books the witch cultists have, resemble it, I, think.” Subaru's starty-stoppy speech displays his desire for it to be refuted. But Roswaal, with an expression as if holding back a yawn, 

Roswaal: “The gospels possessed by witch cultists. Mediators for the Witch's will, grimoires describing the path to the owner's desired future. Weeeeell, should you ignore their specificity, they're what you'd call raaaaaaather time-intensive prophecies.” 

Subaru: “—! You know them?” Roswaal: “Just curiosity, would not be the calibre ooooooof circumstances here. Cultists are everywhere, and this is a facility related to a witch differing from the one they worship. Myself, being landlord of SANCTUARY, has had skirmishes with them aaaaaaat least once.” 

Subaru: “Th-they seriously tell the future... do they?” 

Knowing the future without dying would be something like the forward-compatible version of Subaru's RETURN BY DEATH. Although not envy, assuming possibly that every single witch cultist came equipped with these things, then that would be something. Roswaal shakes his head at the shivering Subaru. 

Roswaal: “They are certainly not that convenient. The amount of directions differ by the cultist and are infrequent. Much of the content is vague, with multiple ways for interpretation. Most critically, only the gospel's owner can read it, and others will only see mystery writings which won't enter their heads. All it tells in an imperfect graph of the future.” 

Subaru: “Imperfect...” 

Subaru can't hide his relief. Besides, if the GOSPELS truly possessed the power to prophecise the future, Subaru's defeat of Betelgeuse should have been impossible. Thinking like that, then even the Cardinals' GOSPELS aren't at such a stage. 

Subaru: “This and that are different stories. Um, that book Beatrice had...” 

Roswaal: “If you are asking whether it's the same as the GOSPELS possessed by the Witch Cult, the answer is that it is, and that it isn't.” 

Subaru: “Don't dodge! This is important!” 

Roswaal: “I am certainly nooooooot dodging. What Beatrice possesses is a GOSPEL, but its roots differ from those of the cultists'. The Witch Cult's versions are imperfect, and the one Beatrice owns is a perfected GOSPEL.” 

Subaru: “Perfect....?” 

Roswaal: “Yes, it is something perfected. It differs from the defective works, dictated by their indefinite futures and unstable contents.” 

Subaru's confused. But Roswaal's expression is rather sunny. It's almost like he's proud and bragging about something. Subaru loses his words at this weird transformation, but what truly makes him lose his speech is what comes directly after. 

Subaru: “—!?” 

Roswaal brings his right hand out from behind his back, to reveal a black tome. Seen at too close a range to mistake it for anything else, this is clearly a GOSPEL. 

Roswaal: “The exclusive, only two perfected GOSPELS. Their owners are Beatrice and I alone.... iiiiiiis what it would be.” 

Roswaal waves the book around back and forth a little. No room exists in Subaru to pay attention to that. Roswaal had the same book the witch cultists owed. This was indeed surprising to Subaru. And the affirming of what Beatrice was saying at their parting is yet another cause for Subaru's shock. —However, what fills Subaru's heart is not any of those things, but, 

Subaru: “That's... a GOSPEL telling the future?” 

Roswaal: “Preeeeeeeecisely. This is a legitimate GOSPEL.” Subaru: “You... know the future? That things would be like this, now, in that book...?” Roswaal: “Is iiiiiiiindeed written. You wouldn't be able to read it though.” Like that fucking mattered. 

Whether or not Subaru could read it, in this moment, meant nothing. Only one single thing possessed meaning. One thing. He had to ask. 

Subaru: “It writes... what will happen, next?” Roswaal: “It doesn't write the entirety of the world, buuuuuuuut it does make the future oooooooof the owner clear.” 

Subaru: “That, things would be how they are now... was something you knew?” 

Roswaal: “Crafting conditions according to its writ took quiiiiiiiite the bit of labour. I would rather like some praise foooooooor my backstage effort.” Subaru's voice will not stop shaking. 

The root of the shaking is the budding of a vehement emotion. What this emotion was, and where it was directed, were immediately obvious to Subaru. Subaru: “If you knew that things would be like this, then...” Roswaal: “—Mhm.” Subaru: “—You knowingly left Rem to die?” 

Roswaal: “Nooooooow just whooooooo is Rem?” 

Subaru: “—I'll kill you! ROSWAAAAAAAAAAALL!!” 

An unbearable rage alone thrusts Subaru into motion. He leaps onto the bed, grabs Roswaal's neck, squeezes. Previously unexhibited until now, Subaru's above-average arm strength wrests the thin neck, shades of agony carving onto the clown's pale face. 

Subaru: “You knew everything, and you—!!” 

If he knew, if he understood, if he could have averted the tragedy—if he could have ended it without Rem meeting that fate... 

Subaru: “The reason I left Rem to die—was you!!” 

Rage and regret morph into urge to murder the man before him. His actions forsake rationality, his emotions—his love—transforms into strength. Yet unable to make a sound, Roswaal keeps silent, practically waiting for Subaru to just snap his neck— 

???: “—SHAPESHIFT OR DISGUISE, AN ULGARM'S SMELL NEVER LIES!!” 

—Impact. 

Eating a hard, piercing blow from the side, Subaru goes flying as he savours the sensation of the right half of his face collapsing. He slams against the wall, drops to the floor head-first. The blow turns his thinking dull, his body twitches not an inch. Blood leaks from his ears, blackness cloaks the right of his vision. His eye, may have been crushed. 

???: “—Ever since ya came outta th' tomb th' fuckin' stink on yer's been worse. Didn't believe it n' start pullin' watch duty on yer, and fuck if it ain't just what I thought!” 

Footsteps. Subaru senses the sloppy gait closing it right to his side. His body will not permit him to crawl. Immobile front and back, something grips Subaru's head, lifting him up. 

???: “Want me t'ask yer body what yer fuckin' witch-stinkin' self was thinkin' of doin'? This place needs that bastard. Don't you fuckin' pull shit.” 

A blond young man. Garfiel. Stricken with a voice of rage and murder, Subaru's consciousness grows distant. He cannot confirm it, but half his head seems to be crushed. Dying, potentially. This is where he dies, and it would truly be the lowest of ways to end. 

But if he RETURNED BY DEATH while yet harbouring this squalid thing, would he truly maintain his capacity to hold this hope, desiring to save this place? 

Subaru: “I don't, know... Rem.” 

With those final words, Subaru's consciousness descends into darkness.