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CHAPTER 4: THE NEXT PLACE 

Subaru returns to everyone else, ashamed. Everyone's still in the same place he left them except Otto, who's sat down where Subaru was sitting and looks to have been talking with Emilia. Subaru pulls a displeased face at another man interacting with Emilia and doesn't try to hide it as he turns toward Otto. 

Subaru: “If you're going to have cheery chipper talks with Emilia-tan while I'm away, just die.” 

Otto: “It's impossible for me to wait in silence doing nothing with my personality. Actually, why is that the first thing you say after coming back, honestly? I think I just got vented at, but it still hurt.” Subaru: “S-stop seeing through people like you know what's going on. We're never seeing each  other again once we settle the promise for buying that oil. Don't misunderstand.” 

Otto: “Could you please not talk as though there were any kind of misunderstanding-provoking something between us!?” Otto yells at tsundere mode Subaru, who instantly loses interest in Otto and resets his orientation  toward Emilia. Having waited quietly for the two to finish their conversation, she stays seated as she gazes up at Subaru. 

Emilia: “Did you see Beatrice?” But what she's really asking is, did you achieve whatever that thing you left to do with Beatrice was. Technically the answer is yes, but in terms of Subaru's intentions it's no. 

Subaru: “No, didn't work out.” 

Emilia: “Right. Well, there's no helping that. When Beatrice hides her location with Gate Crossing, you can't find her no matter what you try. Neither me or Ram've seen her at all...” Subaru: “No, I did see her. She was being cranky or I guess in a fit of ennui and wouldn't answer  my question. It's such a dumb episode.” Emilia: “...You saw her?” Emilia's eyes open wide in shock. Although feeling some puzzlement at that reaction, Subaru nods. Subaru: “My well-honed gut instincts told me exactly which room she was in. Well, even though I  met her my conversation skill's so low I didn't achieve what I actually went there for.” Emilia: “I've been thinking this for a while but, you and Beatrice... get along so well, Subaru.” She whispers in a low voice, a finger to her lip as if in thought. Subaru's face turns the sourest he  can make it. Though, it's not an expression which just popped out unconsciously, but one which required some amount of intentional effort. 

Subaru: “Really rather not get along with Beako. She's my nemesis, has been ever since I came across her. You know she sucked out my mana the first time we met? Not enough time's passed for me to change my impression of her.” 

Emilia: “Even though you reconciled with Julius after everything? Subaru, sometimes you get sooo stubborn over completely pointless things.” 

Subaru: “Sticking through with pointless stubbornness makes a man! ...is the kind of misunderstanding someone painful like me keeps making. Also I haven't reconciled with Julius. I, hate, him, foooreveeeer.” 

Emilia: “Yes, yes.” 

Emilia gives a small laugh and ignores him. Subaru's mouth twists into a dissatisfied frown, but internally he feels relieved for the change in topic. 

Subaru: “Oh yeah, where'd Frederica go? Leaving my Emilia-tan alone with Otto... crossing the line for failures of judgement.” 

Emilia: “Putting aside whose I am for another occasion... Frederica's in one of the guest rooms getting it organized. —She's preparing Rem-san's sleeping room.” 

Subaru: “Ah, is she.” 

Subaru's voice goes low, Emilia narrows her eyes as if pained. Although hating that he made Emilia make that face, he can't endure through the keen pain in his chest when he thinks about Rem. He shakes his head once to dispel the emotion from his expression, and smiles to keep Emilia from feeling any further gloom. 

Subaru: “Which means we have to get Rem out of the carriage soon. Leaving her in the carriage forever'd be sad... Which reminds me, sorry for before, Otto.” 

Otto: “No, no need to worry about it. After all, she's your... ah, very many things to you, Natsuki¬san. I won't go too far in saying anything while she's in that condition.” 

Subaru: “I couldn't bear the thought of you touching my Rem with your money-grubby fingers, and... ...Honestly, sorry.” 

Otto: “That's not something someone who's honestly sorry would say! And if I'm to add, my feeling is that someone who only just called a different woman 'my' would not be in safe position to say that line!” 

Subaru: “It's my adorable love strategy where I use you to make Emilia-tan jealous. Don't make me spill it, idiot.” 

Otto: “But you spilled it yourself!” 

Smiling at overreacting Otto, Subaru glances at Emilia. Confirming that she's smiling a little and her gloominess is gone gives Subaru some space for relief. 

Emilia: “You two get along sooo well. Even though you've barely known each other long at all.” 

Subaru: “Wait, you're jealous of him!? You know, compared to you, Emilia-tan, Otto's nothing but playtime, playtime. Me, I wanna get serious playing fire with you, Emilia-tan.” 

Otto: “Why am I being dumped. It's completely irrelevant to reality, but it's still upsetting!” 

Emilia puts a hand to her mouth, her shoulders shaking in laughter. 

Emilia: “Sorry.” 

Emilia: “I know now's not a good time to be laughing like this, but I can't hold it anymore. Don't you two think that maybe, you'll come to know each other for sooo long?” 

Subaru: “Like, he's a travelling merchant? Once his business's done, he's gone in a flash. ...Or really, I can't stand other men who aren't me with no established shipping targets getting close to Emilia¬tan.” 

Otto: “I have no idea what you're saying but I hate that I can tell it's something incredibly stupid when we've barely known each other!” 

Though Subaru's phrasing was somewhat exaggerated, the sentiment was unmistakably his truest feelings. For a Subaru who'd been open with his feelings for Emilia and pursued her with force enough to knock birds out of flight, having other men interacting her set his heart ablaze with unbearable envy. 

He surely had more envy, and more possessiveness, than most. 

※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ 

Frederica finishes preparing the guestroom and returns to the living room, upon which everyone calls the chit-chatty time as over. 

Otto: “I'm thinking about looking around the nearby village for a bit. I'm in possession of the deed to sell cargo for all the other merchants, and I can distribute some of it to the villagers at my discretion. I'll have the Margrave shoulder the cost for this afterwards, though.” 

So Otto runs off to the village to do some merchanting, but that said what's he's doing is most definitely helping out the villagers in their people-power-insufficient village. He's only pretending to be naughty. 

Frederica: “One of the rooms in the servant's quarters has been prepared as instructed. ...Mysteriously, it appeared that the cleaning in that room alone had been tended to with exceeding scrupulousness.” 

Subaru: “Scrupulousness... Second floor, furthest room back?” 

Frederica: “—Yes, indeed. That single room looked as though all except the bed had been discarded... would it happen that you might know why?” 

Of course the reason is because it's Rem's room originally. 

Subaru: “...No. Just a feeling, doesn't really mean anything.” 

Frederica, taking prudent consideration of Subaru and his answer, says nothing. It appears she has an extraordinarily great disposition for maidhood. Likely it had been Rem and Frederica who kept the oversized Mathers mansion going all by themselves. Ram not included. 

They go round to the back of the mansion, where they find Patrasche tied up in the stable. Subaru pats her snout. 

Subaru: “Sorry for not telling you you did a good job, Patrasche. Lots's happened and it's really overdue, but I'll be counting on you from hereon, partner.” 

Patrasche licks his hand. Frederica tilts her head at their skinship. 

Frederica: “It is rather attached to you, isn't it? I am impressed to see that you have tamed such a clearly excellent ground dragon.” 

Subaru: “It's not really that I tamed her though, yeah? If it's hard to get normal ground dragons to like you, then maybe Patrasche's emotions're just leagues deeper than others. Or maybe because I'm not very reliable she has no choice but to tag along with me.” 

It's been only three, four days since he met Patrasche—and she's saved his life so many times. He hasn't given her anything back. Just a blessing, meeting this dragon. 

Patrasche licks Subaru's hand and bumps her snout against Subaru's cheek, catching him by surprise and making him give a wry smile. 

Frederica: “I sense that I have come to understand your nature as well, Subaru-sama. —Thank you for your service.” 

Says Frederica with a tender gaze as she watches Subaru and Patrasche dick around. Patrasche stops moving for a sec to stare at her, then goes back to playing with Subaru. Subaru senses that the girls just had a moment of communion. Anyway. 

Subaru: “Sorry for making you wait, Rem. It must've been cramped and dark in here. I'm taking you up to your room now.” 

So after he's done messing with Patrasche he goes to the inside of the carriage where Rem's sleeping. She doesn't pout at being left behind and say, 'Subaru-kun is such a mean person,' or smile or Subaru's apology. 

Frederica: “—I had heard the circumstances, yet I am still surprised.” 

So Frederica can't hide her surprise at seeing Rem the first time. Subaru tilts his head at her, she shakes her head. 

Frederica: “Ah, no.” 

Frederica: “Her appearance is perfectly identical to Ram's. The only difference looks to be in hair colour... the account of them being twins is true.” 

Subaru: “I know it's dubious when your memories're gone, but I'm glad you believe it. If you could remember her as someone who doesn't pull mean-spirited bullying, I would be happy.” 

Subaru reaches his hand out to touch Rem's cheek. He doesn't feel any warmth or cold—there's definitely signs of life, but the insides aren't there anymore. Reconfirming this makes the unhealing wound in his heart again reopen. He knew that would happen but he still had to do it. 

Frederica: “Subaru-sama. I would believe it acceptable should the one tasked to carry her be me.” 

Subaru: “I want to do it, please let me do it. Bringing Rem to the mansion... to her room is something I would like to do. I apologize for my selfishness.” 

Frederica: “No matter, I simply felt my chest tighten for a moment. Your eyes look like a murderer's, but you truly are kind.” 


Subaru: “My heart does feel pain when casually dissed!” 

Subaru picks up Rem to transport her. She's light. 

Subaru: “I'll wake you up soon. So come on and get mad at me for feeling how soft your body is right now.” 

Frederica: “An admirable line, although it feels to have been soured.” 

So Frederica's kind of fucking amazed at that line. Anyway they nod goodbye to Patrasche and leave her in the stables, Frederica taking the lead as they head back to the mansion, going to the servant's quarters on the east side, Rem's sleeping room aka Rem's original room. 

Frederica: “It appears that you have spoken with Beatrice-sama.” 

They're going up a staircase. Subaru looks up at Frederica's back, her eyes narrow and she looks down at Subaru with a gaze that definitely looks threatening. But Subaru, being someone who continually gets misunderstood in the exact same way due to his sanpaku3, understands she's not really being threatening. 

Where the whites of the eyes are visible beneath the pupil when eye is at rest. Makes people look like murderers and those with the condition are rumoured to attract accidents and violence (source: Wikipedia). Like fuck I'm going to point this out every time so keep in mind that this is what sanpaku is. 

Frederica asks if Beatrice was well, since Fred hasn't seen her ever since she returned to the mansion. Subaru's like well I told Emilia too but nah she wasn't really doing well, she was in a worse mood than usual so he didn't get to talk with her properly. Frederica responds like '...i see,' and seems concerned. 

This prompts Subaru to wonder just what exactly Beatrice's position in this mansion is. Her standing and history've never really been brought up to him. She sits in the Forbidden Archive all day, treats Puck like a big brother, acts like a kid when interacting with Subaru, and then there's that >deeply implying foreshadowy talk that just happened last chapter. Mysteries abound. 

Subaru: “Uhh... Have you been working for the mansion long, Frederica?” 

Frederica: “My my, could you be interested? Between Emilia-sama and the girl you are holding... and additionally Beatrice-sama, you would be quite the fickle man, wouldn't you.” 

Subaru: “Don't just slip Beako in there, I'm not into younger girls. Isn't it apparent that my arms're already buried in Emilia and Rem? Frederica, you're... straight up, it hasn't been long, but I think you're a type I have trouble with.” 

Frederica: “It seems I've accidentally come to be hated.” 

Subaru: “See, it's this feeling where it feels like Roswaal's servants are leading me round the nose which's why it wouldn't work. Ah, I mean it's entirely a personality affinity problem, I don't hate you or anything.” 

Frederica blinks and puts her hand to her mouth to hide her fangs as she smiles. 

Frederica: “There is no need for such concern. You would be quite the worrier, Subaru-sama.” 

Subaru: “It's because you hurt me when we first met. You laughed it off, but you were at least half-serious about it, right?” 

Frederica falls silent, this time surprised indeed. Her smile vanishes and she stares at Subaru, her gaze seeming to read into him. She gives a small sigh. 

Frederica: “It is not especially often that the insides of my heart have been discernible by others. I would be grateful should you refrain to intrude.” 

Subaru: “Just putting some things straight after I wound up intruding and trampling around. My eyes're nasty too, not like I can fault you for it... well, I mean my whole family's that way.” 

His parents had nasty-looking eyes and thus such was their child. 

At dinnertime when the three of them sit around there in silence, eating their personal mayonnaise, it must look like nothing less than black magic at the dinner table. 

Thinking objectively about the memory makes Subaru's expression sour. Frederica sighs again. 

Frederica: “Uncomfortable—would not be how I would describe you, but you are a peculiar one.” something something I understand why Emilia-sama behaved like that. 

Subaru: “Emilia-tan what?” Frederica: “Nothing of note. I had simply truly angered Emilia-sama this time. Now, why would you have asked me as to the length of my employment?” 

Subaru: “Uhhhh” 

Subaru: “Basically, I wanted to talk about Beako... about Beatrice. If you've been a maid here a long time, I thought I'd ask you since when has Beatrice been here.” Not like he asked, but Subaru figures Frederica's a little older than him—23, 24 or thereabouts. 

Assuming she's been a maid for 10 years-ish, being that Beatrice is like 12, Frederica should know  the answer to this. But Frederica shakes her head. Frederica: “My apologies, but I would not know. When the time first came wherein I had been enabled to service this mansion, Beatrice-sama had already been secluded inside the Forbidden Archive.” 

Subaru: “Ahh, well. Time spent as a maid doesn't necessarily mean time spent working in Roz-chi's mansion. It's not like you got experienced working here exclusively...” Frederica: “I am afraid you would be mistaken, Subaru-sama.” 

Subaru knits his brows. Frederica straightens her posture, her expression noticeably gloomy. Frederica: “The only mansion I have been enabled to service would be the Master's. My being brought here as a new servant would have been when I was twelve years of age. It has already been over ten years since then.” 

Subaru: “...uh, isn't that weird? I mean, counting backwards, that makes it so Beako's been cooped up in that moldy stinky room since she was a toddler.” 

Frederica: “Would you still be yet to understand it?” Frederica shakes her head as if faulting Subaru's unreasonable stubbornness about this. Subaru can guess what this means. Basically, 

Subaru: “Her appearance doesn't change. ...She really isn't a human.” 

Frederica: “A librarian bound by covenant to oversee the Forbidden Archive since prior the Mathers family's conception—this would be her, the Great Spirit Beatrice-sama.” It doesn't feel like a lie. Subaru's forced to accept it. That Beatrice is something on a completely  different level from what he anticipated. 

Subaru: “Great Spirit... is the same title Puck has, but man they look and whatever nothing alike.” 

Frederica: “The absence of a contractor and her ties to the covenant... no, to say any more would exceed the bounds of what is acceptable territory for me to broach. I request you forget.” Subaru: “Really no way that's happening.” And this makes it how many times Subaru's been >implying >implied >implying by someone who  clearly knows things? It doesn't look like he's getting any more out of Frederica though, and Subaru sighs. Then he remembers that they've been stopped here talking the whole time. 

Subaru: “Frederica.” Frederica: “Please forgive me, Subaru-sama. Even I am prone to slips of the tongue. That an individual has appeared who shows concern for Beatrice-sama had simply overjoyed me. I humbly request that I may be forgiven.” 

Subaru: “That is fine, but my arms shall soon reach their limit.” His arms are shaking as he stares up at Frederica, his face stiff. Rem's body's light and he'd acted  tough by saying he'd be fine as long as he had love etc, but his failing arm strength and stamina of his back which he'd been ignoring now assault him. Frederica: “Oh dear.” Subaru: “Move aside promptly, please!” Rather than hand Rem off to Frederica, he shoves her out of the way and races to the guest room. 

He hears someone running behind him, indicating Frederica's following. He reaches Rem's room. Emilia: “—Took you a while.” and Emilia's waiting there, looking bored as hell. 

※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ 

They settle Rem down in the bed and pull the blanket up to her chest. She's breathing and has a heartbeat. Just how much time will pass before she wakes up again? Subaru: “It all depends on how hard I work.” 

He brushes her bangs off her forehead and glances back at Emilia standing behind him. Subaru: “Sorry for the wait. Splurged a bit talking with Frederica. The lactic acid in my arms's gone something crazy thanks to that.” 

Wow fuck how I phrased that. Anyway Emilia says it's good to splurge on talking (fuck how I  phrased that). Emilia: “What did you talk with Frederica about?” Subaru: “Rehabilitating shut-in girls, but firstly tried for some info gathering. The way the shut-in behaviour started and how long it's been going are deeply connected to the approach to take with them afterwards.” 

Emilia: “Wow, really? Subaru, you know so much about SHUT-IN. It's amazing.” 

Subaru: “Sometimes the things you say without ill intent do pierce me through the chest, Emilia¬tan. Like right now.” Subaru's face screws up. Emilia tilts her head and gives a wry smile, then a small shrug. Emilia: “Which means you couldn't get anything out of Beatrice?” Subaru: “Her mouth was firm and would not stir. By the way, I don't know how many times I've  asked this but... how's Puck?” 

Emilia: “—Nothing, he's not responding to me. This does happen sometimes, but the length this time is sooo bad. I'm seriously worried.” Emilia reaches to her chest and pulls out a green, glowing crystal pendant. It's Puck's thingermajig  where he usually hangs out, but he hasn't manifested for days. The idea of him being absent is weird, but at the very least he's not responding to Emilia's calls for him. 

Subaru: “It happens sometimes? But this time it's got you worried, too.” Emilia: “He'll come back when I really, truly need his strength. I'm sure it's not as if he can't see me. I've asked him before what he's doing when goes away, but he's never told me.” 

Subaru can't hide his disappointment at this since it seems Puck knows things. Now everyone who seems to know something about what's going on has firmly sealed their mouth. Subaru: “Puck and Beako too, everyone's gone and shut their mouths... I'm defeated.” 

Emilia: “Seriously. ...Subaru, what do we do?” Subaru puts his hand to his forehead in thought and looks at Emilia as she calls him, who is staring at him imploringly and with faith. 

Subaru: “Now that everyone who seems to know something's shut up, I think all we can do next is leave. ...Well, even if where know where he is, who knows if he's gonna talk.” Emilia: “You mean Roswaal.” Subaru: “I figure now's a great time for a chat cutting all the underground circumstances loose.” 

Subaru nods, confirming Emilia's guess. The two seem to be of the same mind in how to progress,  and Emilia pats her chest in relief. Emilia: “Thank goodness, it looks like you're in favour of it too. I was wondering what I'd do if I got opposed again, like with Roswaal or Ram.” 

Subaru: “I might oppose depending on the content, but you do know I fundamentally agree with you all the way, Emilia-tan? And even if I oppose, I want you to trust that it's because of my love for you.” 

Emilia: “Oh, 'love' as if... Subaru, you just say things to make others happy sooo often.” Emilia turns her head away in surprise. Subaru's cheeks go slightly red as he clenches his fists. Emilia: “So, I have a proposal for Subaru, who's allying with me.” Subaru: “Yup yup, let's hear it, say whatever you want.” Subaru respectfully places his hand to his chest and bows, Emilia closes one eye and pouts as if to  say 'you're just doing that because I want to see it' and looks back. She lets out a breath and stares  into Subaru's dark4 eyes. Emilia: “We have to talk to Roswaal, and there's the refugees from the village, too. So I'm thinking of going to SANCTUARY.” 

Subaru: “SANCTUARY...” The name's come up a lot but unfortunately since Subaru didn't reach Sanctuary in that one loop (cut in LN/anime) he doesn't know where it is, although it's the destination for Ram's B group of  evacuees fleeing the witch cult. But now that at least Betelgeux's squad of cultists is down, the group that went to SANCTUARY should be out of danger, just like the mansion. Emilia: “I was told I'd have to go there someday, and I think now's a good chance. Because it's  certain that this time, Roswaal'll definitely talk about things.” Subaru: “Wa-wa-wai, time out! You're not saying you're leaving me behind, are you?” Emilia: “Huh?” Subaru holds his palm out at Emilia, somewhat spoiling her enthusiastic talk. But he has to say this. Subaru: “I know you're motivated too, and I agree with this plan but I'd seriously rather not be left  behind. I know I'm powerless and stupid, but even so I'd hate not being at your side doing my best. I'm aware of how selfish this is, though, ha!” Emilia's eyes go wide. But what he's saying is undeniably his true feelings. If he's not at her side, he 4 Black. The japanese call their own eye colour black. It's not really black. But I must preserve the darkness.  can't protect her. He can't act for her. Not being conceited, his presence was almost certainly necessary to help her. He didn't want reward for this, it's just something Subaru himself wants to do. Emilia's expression is still shocked at his enthusiasm. He judges that she's still undecided, so, 

Subaru: “You can't stop me. I'm stuck to you, Emilia-tan. Getting left behind is a no thanks. This SANCTUARY and Roswaal—in the face of my blazing love, all obstacles'll—” Emilia: “It wasn't as though I was going to leave you. Come with me.” 

Subaru: “Don't leave me behind don'tdon'tdon't—what did you just say?” Subaru was on the verge of getting down rolling around on the floor like an autist there. Emilia puts her hand to her mouth, still blushing slightly. 

Emilia: “I said, come with me. I'd be so anxious I couldn't bear it, being all alone.” Subaru: “E-Emilia-tan...” Emilia: “I rely on you, Subaru. I don't think you're weak or stupid at all. I need your strength.” This shocks Subaru beyond description. His jaw drops and he falls silent. Unease runs through 

Emilia's expression. Her hand meanders as if deliberating whether or not to touch Subaru. Emilia: “Er, um, uh, what is it? Did, did I say something strange again...?” Subaru: “You've got possession of my motivation switch, Emilia-tan. It turns on and off at your  word on full automatic. Can't bear it.” 

Subaru covers his face with his hands, toying with Emilia. Emilia doesn't get she's being toyed with and is in disorderly confusion. Subaru savours the feeling. ???: “—it appears you have concluded your talk.” Subaru: “Huwawhegh!?” And Frederica knocks on the door and enters, cutting the conversation off. Emilia's unsurprised, but 

Subaru's trying to hide his heart palpitations. Frederica more than likely guesses Subaru's emotions  and without even a fragment of concern arising on her face, Frederica: “I would present no objection to your venture to SANCTUARY. However, a period of two days would be necessary to finalize preparations.” 

Subaru: “Preparations? So you're coming too?” 

Frederica: “Due to my overseeing of the mansion, I'm afraid I would be unable to accompany you. Instead, I shall inform Subaru-sama's ground dragon as to SANCTUARY's whereabouts.” Subaru: “Patrasche?” 

Subaru's eyes go wide at the proposal. 

Frederica: “Ground dragons are intelligent creatures. Should one tell them the way, they are fully capable of discerning the path regardless of a lack of guideposts. Further, your one is particularly intelligent. I doubt there will be any problems.” 

Subaru: “You're just getting better and better, Patrasche. Seriously, how did I hit that flag?” Frederica: “More importantly, there are several matters on which I must speak with you.” Frederica: “Now that you are travelling to Sanctuary, there are several things I would desire that  you keep in mind. Especially when considering Emilia-sama's lineage, do take caution.” Emilia: “—Yes, I'm prepared. Since it's a place with some history.” Emilia nods, her eyes filled with a strong will. Subaru goes to stand beside her. Subaru: “Honestly, not like I know anything about Sanctuary except its name but... my ultimate  goal is to be Emilia-tan's strength. Please, tell me anything.” Frederica: “Your impurity is so pure it conversely becomes refreshing.” She's pretty fucking blown at that line too, blinks once to push the emotion back, and raises a finger. Frederica: “Then, I shall speak about Sanctuary. The first thing I would like you to keep in mind  is...” 

“You'd like” “Us to keep in mind?” Subaru and Emilia tilt their heads at the same time, Frederica nods with a “Yes”, and her tone drops  slightly. Frederica: “—Please be careful of an individual named Garfiel. Should there be anyone in Sanctuary with whom you must be most cautious during your interactions, it is him.”





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