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CHAPTER 49: LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVEYOUUUUUU 

—The peal of footsteps pounds on his eardrums. A sense of unease settles on his skin. 

A stickiness accompanies the refreshing air of the tomb. The ground feels to cling to Subaru's feet as he dashes, sapping his energy with every step. The sharp sensation stimulating his exposed skin strikes his whole body, as if protuberances have sprouted from the air itself. In all, feelings to provoke hesitation for continuing forward. 

—Subaru already knew a feeling very reminiscent of this. 

His bad premonition yet urging him on, Subaru consciously shakes away the discomfort coiling about his body as he heads for the tomb entrance. Moonlight spills faintly into the hallway as he runs. He rushes out of the ivy-grown entrance, feeling to break through a membrane of air as he exits the tomb. And, he sees it. 

Subaru: “...No way.” 

Subaru's feet gouge the earth as he skids himself to a stop. Awkward and most about to topple forward with momentum, the sight which arises in Subaru's view belongs to some breed of the enigmatic. That is how completely diverged from reality the scene before him is. 

Subaru: “A... shadow.” 

That single mutter expresses it all. A shadow—indeed, only that could describe the scene before him. 

The sights of SANCTUARY, supposedly visible from the tomb entrance, are not anywhere in view. Although the tomb is separated from the residents' dwellings, spotting not a single building from this position, to Subaru's knowledge, was exceedingly improbable. The circular moon drifts high overhead, pouring down its glow—but the world before Subaru abounds in shade. Almost as if fallen into darkness. 

Subaru: “—” 

Swallowing his breath and hardening his will, Subaru steps out from the tomb's entryway and toward the duskened SANCTUARY. He leaves stonework floor for earth and grass—supposedly. His feet do feel the sensation of treading on foliage, but visually discerning it from the darkness underfoot is impossible. The stickiness on his skin, too, remains unchanged. 

Subaru: “E-Emilia—!” 

Unable to bear the world's inconceivable lack of landmarks, Subaru calls the name to rise in his thoughts. His thinking consequently gets in motion, names and faces passing through his mind. 

Subaru: “Ram! Lewes-san! Also Otto! You're here, right!? Please come out!” 

If this is directly after Subaru took the TRIAL, Ram and the others should have been waiting here for Emilia's results. The flow of events there proceeded with Subaru shrugging off their attempts to stop him, diving in, and also challenging the TRIAL. 

When Subaru brought Emilia out afterwards, the usual lineup would be there to welcome the two back. There should have been no great discrepancy this time. 

Subaru: “Not here... is way understating it. What's with this dingy atmosphere? Darkness of a paddy road out in the country doesn't compare.” 

An unlit road at night in the countryside, with starlight as its an unreliable sun, was a genuine state of darkness. But the situation in SANCTUARY differed from that instantaneous darkness. Here, the glow of the moon overhead reaches down at least to hit Subaru's body. However, the light disperses before reaching the ground, creating a night which is vague and unstable. —The sensation of monopolizing a spotlight, was perhaps a fitting descriptor. The only visible thing in this darkness is himself. Glancing back, Subaru discovers that even tomb entrance he just exited is swallowed in darkness and invisible. 

The memory of walking through the White Whale's fog comes back. 

Lost sight of people to orient from, thrown from the carriage, unsure whether the whale's jaws were closing in, both his course and reason to live vague as he walked on. He ultimately exited the fog, where Otto's favourite dragon Frufoo found and aided him. Perhaps walking through the darkness here would lead to his rescue again. 

Subaru: “Am I an idiot? ...No, I am an idiot. What's this dejected, poor loser thinking. Not knowing what happened means not knowing what will happen. I don't even know what happened to everyone and I'm worrying about myself, idiot.” 

Had he not just steeled his resolve at Echidna's tea party? No matter what occurs, no matter what hardship assaults him, if Subaru can pay it settled using only his own life, then that was actually a bargain. Compared to a future where someone important was wounded and suffered irreparable injury, just how blessed was a situation that spending his life could re-do? 

Trembling in fear at the incomprehensible situation, and losing his life without any proper grasp of the conditions, was not what Subaru needed to do. It was to face the incomprehensible situation boldly, and even should he fail to reach the solution, grasp some foothold and welcoming a meaningful death. 

Subaru: “Anyway, what I have to confirm now is...” 

Where Emilia, Ram, and everyone else went. 

For one instant, upon seeing Emilia missing from the tomb, Subaru wondered whether she had conquered the TRIAL, awoken, and left by herself. But he immediately rejected the thought. Even if Emilia hypothetically could conquer the TRIAL and wake safely, she would have no reason to leave Subaru sleeping. 

Subaru knew from his experiences with Emilia that being touched while undergoing the TRIAL would interrupt it. Although since Subaru's consciousness was in Echidna's tea party rather than the TRIAL, perhaps that precedent wouldn't apply. 

Subaru: “But still, just leaving me there and exiting doesn't sound anything like Emilia.” 

A more Emilia-esque reaction would be to bring the unconscious Subaru outside, or at least rest him against the wall. That she left without doing either was almost inconceivable. And call it a somewhat unneeded view, but—Subaru didn't think Emilia could conquer the first TRIAL on her first attempt. Knowing how Emilia had struggled with the TRIAL, the theory of her clearing it on her own and leaving was fishy from the start. 

Subaru thus thought it likely that Emilia's disappearance was not due to her own will. Either someone pulled her out, or— 

Subaru: “She returned from the TRIAL completely out of it, had too few mental reserves left to notice me and left the tomb... isn't an entirely impossible idea.” 

But that didn't explain why the world outside was submerged in darkness. 

As for the absence of those waiting outside, Subaru's heart shudders with the thought of the ferocious white hares. But Subaru rejects the hasty idea with a shake of his head. The Sizeable Hare's attack would come on the night of the sixth day—meaning, five days from now. He preferred to think that no matter how much the attack was accelerated, it wouldn't come on the night of the first TRIAL. 

—He intentionally averts his eyes from the mystery of the timing of Elsa's attack on the mansion changing. 

That puzzle was another of these unsolved enigmas for Subaru. But if the Sizeable Hare's attack was identical to Elsa's, and the date could change off random chance, that means Subaru couldn't influence it. All Subaru could do was trust that conditions unavoidable even with rampant use of RETURN BY DEATH did not exist. 

Subaru: “What I can probably do now... is call while searching for Emilia and the others, and head to the cathedral to check the Arlam villagers are safe, I guess?” 

Straining his eyes, Subaru worries over the lack of feasibility in his plan. While more or less had an internal map of SANCTUARY figured, his recollections weren't so polished that he could navigate the place with his eyes closed. That was the level of memory power was necessary to venture about in these conditions. Safely reaching his destination in this situation would be near impossible for Subaru. However, even the plan of calling out while searching for the others was difficult to accept unconditionally. 

Subaru: “If this pitch darkness's someone's doing... it's seriously likely they're not gonna be friendly.” 

With impatience scorching at him, Subaru puzzles over what action would be optimal. If he wants to reunite quickly, calling out is advisable. That is the optimum for investigating into the safety of Emilia and the others. But Subaru already knew multiple times over that acting blindly was foolish. How many times had recklessness cost him his life? 

Subaru: “...Fuck. If I don't at least figure out what went on, even if something terrible happens to me my work won't be done.” 

Subaru opts for a cautious strategy at the end of his deliberating. He quiets his voice and breathing, straining his eyes in the darkness, following his mental map as best he can to where the residents should be gathered. The only guides in this world are the certainty of the ground beneath his feet, and the existence of tomb he exited. Darkness had fallen, but the land before him should be the same SANCTUARY as ever— 

Subaru: “—ue?” 

Subaru takes each step slowly, carefully. But he stops within several paces of starting. Because of the wind. 

Subaru: “—?” 

He looks up and, although knowing the action is basically fruitless, casts his gaze about. His attention directs on the destination of the awry breeze. 

He felt it. There, on that wind, he had felt that characteristic sensation. Not the fresh air of the hillock, or the dusty air of the tomb, or an air scented with blood and atrocity —rather, an air carrying the characteristic scent of having touched something living. 

Subaru: “Wha—” 

Unsure of where the wind blew in from, Subaru glances back in search of an answer. The tomb should be directly behind him, but even these few steps forward had rendered its silhouette invisible. —Or no, the tomb being imperceptible was not due the darkness. 

Subaru: “——a?” 

???: “—” 

There, standing before him, close enough to feel their breath, in this pitch-black world, is someone. That he could not sight the tomb was because this someone was obstructing his view. 

They were so close, but how had he not noticed them? They had approached him, but why had they not called? A storm of questions flurries through his brain in the space of an instant. But even that tempest of doubts dissipates with the immediate presentation of an exact answer. 

Nothing could be more easily comprehended. 

???: “—I love you.” 

Says the shadow to Subaru, affection most enough to bewitch. 

※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ 

Its voice was muffled. It spoke with such indistinct intonation that it wasn't clear whether the speaker was a woman or a man. 

The sound differed from a voice passed through a voicechanger, or speech transmitted through thick fabric. It was more opaque, unclear, patched over by some invisible power operating on his perception. 

But still, the instant Subaru heard those words—those whisperings of love—he immediately and intuitively understood the shadow's identity. And shuddered. 

Thinking on it, Subaru had vaguely noticed the signs ever since just before exiting the tomb. The stinging, thick miasma. SANCTUARY submerged in shadow. The suffocating pressure engulfing the surroundings. A world lost entirely of its life. A sure re-enactment of the time-stopped setting for his trysts with the WITCH. Meaning, the thing standing before him was, 

Subaru: “Wh, y...!?” 

Shadow: “—” 

No answer. But there it was definitely right there in front of him. Subaru moves his fingers, checks his breathing, confirms that time is not stopped. The seconds are ticking by as they should. And despite that, the WITCH is standing before him. 

Faced with a threat he hadn't imagined, pure whiteness seeps over Subaru's thoughts. The shock is enough to make him take everything he had just pledged, to waste not a second for ascertaining the details of the situation, and dump it. That was how unexpected meeting the WITCH here, at this juncture, was to Subaru. 

Subaru's mouth flashes dry. He forgets even to swallow his breath as his body stiffens. The overwhelming pressure binds him entirely, going as rigid as a frog glared down by snake. Going immobile would unmistakably worsen matters. Despite understanding this, Subaru's limbs show not a sign of obeying the danger signal. 

The scale of the problem here was one far outside matters of Subaru's heart or mind. Subaru's heart wouldn't falter, and his mind blazed with need to do something. But his body and the entrenched faculties governing it observed the situation coolly and objectively. That being—Regardless of whether he moved or not, the result would be exactly the same. 

Shadow: “—” 

The shadow emits no hostility. Subaru senses no malice. But that doesn't mean it considers him with apathy. Actually the opposite. 

Shadow: “—” 

This presence pays him a spine-chilling level of interest. Its blind, devoted, overwhelming passion—binding Subaru so tight as to never let him escape. —This shadow had interest in not a single thing except Subaru. 

Inside the Shadow was only Subaru. Only Subaru. Only Subaru only Subaru only Subaru only Subaru only Subaru only Subaru only Subaru only Subaru only Subaru only Subaru only Subaru only Subaru only Subaru Subaru Subaru Subaru Subaru Subaru Subaru Subaru Subaru Subaru Subaru Subaru Subaru Subaru Subaru Subaru Subaru Subaru Subaru Subaru Subaru—. 

Shadow: “—IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou,” 

The voice echoes in spirals through his head. His thoughts turn dumb, unable to recognize what this thing before him is. Was he standing? Sitting? Breathing? Conscious? Living? Dying? He didn't know. Didn't know. Getting not to know. 

Its fingers reach for him. The surrounding shadows rise, spreading with intention to envelop the whole of Subaru's body. He has no will to oppose. He has no reason to oppose. Oppose, unoppose, swallowed, and what will come next? But what a nuisance thinking was, and— 

Shadow: “IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou—” 


???: “No fuckin' none'a yer fuckin' around, hraaAAH—!!” 

—The next instant, destruction from overhead tears through the space between Subaru and the shadow. The shock tears up the imperceptible ground, crashes into the shadow, envelops it—while Subaru receives the shockwave from point-blank range and goes plummeting backwards. 

Subaru: “Uaoeuu—!?” 

Tumbling, battered over and over by hard things, most his whole body soaked in shadow, Subaru somehow manages to halt the momentum. He shakes his head, his stiff body and thoughts both loosening free. The flood of white noise clears from his mind to an extent, and although his head still feels stuffed with sand, the dullness is now somewhat less awful. Spitting the dirt from his mouth, Subaru looks up and toward the direction he tumbled from—and his eyes shoot open in surprise. 

???: “Situation ain't got no way'a bein' worse, oi. C'n yer move?” 

There stands a someone, facing the shadow, his back to Subaru. Rather small for a man. Short blond hair, with a coarse and blunt intonation in his speech. His combat-ready posture is low, his leg drawn back and fangs bared with full caution. 

Subaru: “Why, did you... me, Garfiel...” 

Garfiel: “Eh? Don't fuckin' joke 'round, you fuckin' seen what things are?” 

Subaru speaks with his voice trembling in shock, Garfiel answers somewhat annoyed. Still paying utmost caution, Garfiel edges bit by bit closer to Subaru. 

Garfiel: “'M grabbin' yer collar'n jumpin'. Might break yer neck but, grin'n bear it.” 

Subaru: “I don't have some mystery constitution where grinning makes my neck any stronge—!?” 

Garfiel darts backwards halfway through Subaru's protesting, literally snatching him away. Exactly as stated, Garfiel grabs the back of Subaru's collar, yanking him up, and prompting Subaru to give a strangled “gghuek!”. But before Subaru can make any complaints about it— 

Shadow: “—!” 

—The ground swells, and the shadow explodes. A wave rolls out of the detonated shadow, surging to crush Subaru and Garfiel. Immediately, the surrounding darkness too transforms into the same shadow. Garfiel clicks his tongue, his feet sinking into the dark bog. 

Garfiel: “Arrh, fuckin' bullshit! EARTHSOUL BLESSING ain't workin' when the ground's like this—!” 

Subaru: “Say Garfiel, my ground's sinking in too!” 

Garfiel: “Th' whole area's th' same! WICKED DEEDS BRING THE WITCH 's, fuck, ain't it just that fuckin' exactly!!” 

Yet being dragged along, shadow starts swallowing what parts of Subaru's limbs have contact with the earth. The sensations differs from sinking into water, or sinking into swamp or marsh, considerably irregular. The shadow was attempting to entwine with him, bind with him, as if to envelop him in smooth dough, warm and soft. During a state of peace, perhaps it might be nice for that touch to embrace him wholly. But being that the situation was horrendous, that idea would have to go declined. 

Garfiel: “—Hr, don't yer bite yer tounge!!” 

Yells Garfiel, giving a snort and glancing over the surroundings. He bends his knees, and although sinking successfully leaps. His distance only manages a few meters with the shadow tripping him up—but the instant he contacts the ground, he again leaps, leaps, leaps and repeats, 

Garfiel: “Hup, hah, hhraah—!” 

Although an impermeable night conceals the world, Garfiel beautifully arrives at a spot with buildings. He gouges his toenails into one of their walls, using it as footing to again leap. He soars to the building's roof, throwing dragged-along Subaru down to platform and giving a sigh. Subaru grabs onto a handhold so as not to slip off the roof, glaring up at a panting Garfiel, his face dimly present in the darkness. 

Subaru: “Th-thank you for saving me...!” 

Garfiel: “Nnwhat? That ain't the face of a guy givin' a thanks, oi, yer got a problem?” 

Subaru: “Have some grievances. ...Since I seriously didn't think for even a moment that you'd be saving me.” 

Garfiel: “Well ain't that just damn treatin' me like'm heartless. 'F yer hate that my amazin' self saved yer that much, yer fine t'jump int'th'shadow soon 's yer want.” 

Subaru: “No thank you.” 

Subaru sighs. Garfiel sets his sights away from Subaru, who peers at him from behind, his heart in the ultimate of complex feelings. 

There was the incomprehensibility of the present situation, but the biggest reason for the complication was that Garfiel had saved him. Until this instant right here, Garfiel had been the biggest obstacle for Subaru in SANCTUARY, and a character competing with Roswaal as a target for his wrath. Although aware that the change in behaviour is due to the change in the situation, having Garfiel act so completely different makes Subaru wind up hesitating on how to respond. 

Ignoring Subaru's internal confusion, Garfiel glares down from the roof with his expression bitter. He clicks his canines, muttering, 

Garfiel: “S's real bad,” 

Garfiel: “'S goes without sayin', but don't look 's n' any mood ter let us go.” 

Sliding over to Garfiel's side, Subaru timidly peeks down off the roof. The sight he sees makes him groan. SANCTUARY exists as little more than a sea of shadow, the majority of the place swallowed in a deep murk, giving no proper sense of height or perspective. But even so in the middle of the black there writhes an even darker sable, the shadows churning around it, inching closer and closer at a sluggish pace. 

It had just attempted to swallow Subaru and Garfiel in shadow, the one who filled SANCTUARY in a sea of shade. And their identity was— 

Subaru: “Garfiel. Do you know what that thing is?” 

Garfiel: “Gott'n idea sayin' 's some bad shit how it looks, gott'n theory f'r a possibility th's fuckin' unbelievable, n' gott'n optimistic belief sayin' that ain't possible. Which one ya wanna go with?” 

Subaru: “Like 'which one' even damn matters, I'd say they're all hardly incorrect. You're being way more calm in front of this thing than I th...” 

Subaru stops. While he was dealing with some strong and complex feelings about being rescued by Garfiel, he was also calming starting on mentally organizing the situation. One point for sorting was that Garfiel—the guy who expressed so much displeasure with the Witch's lingering scent, who flipped that incredibly hostile just by sensing the scent on Subaru's body, that Garfiel—was mysteriously not losing his cool at the thing which acted as the smell's foundation. Which was why Subaru had spoken—but seeing Garfiel's expression stops him. 

Garfiel: “What'd y'jus' say?” 

Says Garfiel, his bloodshot eyes gazing downward, his fangs starting to elongate. Anger. Rage. Wrath. Fury. His pupils turned to slits, whirling with pure-red emotion. See that, and who could possibly call him calm? Simultaneously, Subaru remembers a question he needs to ask. 

Subaru: “—Garfiel. They... Ram and the others, what happened to them?” 

Garfiel goes silent. 

Subaru: “SANCTUARY was already submerged in shadow when I left the tomb. You're here and lively, but the others...?” 

Garfiel: “...In the shadow.” 

Subaru seeks a denial, but what he gets is a cruel answer. Subaru swallows his breath, Garfiel giving a rueful hum. 

Garfiel: “We only noticed somethin' was off th'second after the ground turned int'er shadow. 'F Ram hadn't blown me away with 'er wind, my amazin' self woulda been swallowed too.” 

Subaru: “...And, Ram was swallowed? And Lewes-san, Otto?” 

Garfiel: “Yeh, th'were. Granny n' th' noisy guy, all'n one go.” 

Looking down at the waves of writhing shadow, Subaru's thoughts run in the pessimistic direction of wondering just how good the chances of survival are in a word like 'swallowed'. If being eaten meant being trapped in some alternate dimension, there was still hope. But considering the sensation from when he touched it himself, that possibility was being far too optimistic. 

Subaru: “Wh-just what is this, seriously, it... why is this, suddenly...!” 

Elsa, The Sizeable Hare, Garfiel. Subaru had just steeled his resolve to challenge all these threats boldly. This incomprehensible thing washed that resolve away. Just why on earth had this suddenly welled up now? 

Subaru: “Garfiel... what happened to Emilia?” 

Garfiel says nothing. 

Subaru: “Emilia wasn't in the tomb. ...Was she, swallowed, too?” 

Garfiel says nothing. 

Emilia woke up noticing the irregularity, and bounded out of the tomb. It was Emilia. She wouldn't just stand back and watch as SANCTUARY got submerged in shadow. She would leap in to save people, without any concern for herself, and— 

Subaru: “By the shadow... then, that...!” 

Garfiel: “After eatin' Ram 'n the others, th' shadow went into Sanctuary's middle 'n fuckin' drank up everything. My amazin' self chased after it'n beat it attackin' it, but fuckin' thing wouldn't give. Then it fuckin' all sudden pulls back so I hurry followin' it n' there's there.” 

And that's when the scene from before happened, is apparently what he's saying. Leaving SANCTUARY behind as hostage, the shadow sensed that Subaru had left the tomb and immediately retreated. Meaning the shadow's goal yes is in fact Subaru. 

A shadow consuming all. Whisperings of love. And overwhelming power. No need even mentioning its identity. But, 

Subaru: “Why the fuck is the Witch of ENVY here!!” 

Garfiel: “Ain't th' time t'be askin' that.” 

A battle-hungry smile rises on Garfiel's face as he stands up on the roof. Subaru takes care not to lose balance as he stands too, looking down at the same thing as Garfiel, teeth gritted. 

The vast mass of whirling shadow has surrounded the building Subaru and Garfiel are using as their foothold. The whirlpool catches the building in its girth, stripping away the ground and structure both, pulling the building into its swirling orbit. 

Subaru: “Uau, aaoauu!” 

Feels like a tidal wave, or a grand-scale flood, washing away the whole house. Experiencing the oddness of a supposedly massless shadow managing this feat, Subaru endures so as not to be flung off of the rocking roof. Endures, but enduring isn't going to be any solution. 

Garfiel: “'M jumpin' again, grab on!” 

Subaru: “—!” 

Hurriedly clinging onto a crouching Garfiel, Subaru retreats from the drifting roof alongside Garfiel's leap. The two shoot off like a bullet, plunging into a forest of trees, slamming into thick tree-trunk while snapping many branches on the way. 

Garfiel: “Hhauhh—!” 

Garfiel spears his arm into the trunk, successfully stopping himself and avoiding dropping into the shadow. Subaru, clinging to Garfiel's clothes, also manages to reach out for a branch and shift himself over, keeping his posture steady. Meanwhile resounds the thunderous noise of wood snapping, breaking to bits. Subaru hurriedly glances back to find the building they were on now sucked into the heart of the vortex, being smashed into tiny, tiny little pieces. Destroying the structure of the building, the swirling shadows wash the thing to the true body of the shade—the centre of the writhing shadow—increasing its mass. 

Subaru and Garfiel, watching the destruction, have no words. The contour of the shadow dims in the slight period of silence. —And the next instant, Subaru gains conviction that he, and this shadow blurry even from a panoramic view, meet gazes. 

Shadow: “—I love you.” 

Subaru: “ou, au...” 

Shadow: “IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou” 

Subaru: “—” 

Shadow: 

“IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIl oveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIlov eyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIlovey ouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIl oveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIlov eyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIlovey ouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIl oveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIlov eyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIlovey ouIloveyou” 

This vast love, blackness visible to the eye, love in the shape of a shadow, loomed to drown him. The Witch of ENVY, to drown him in love, was closing in— 





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