CHAPTER 80: ROUGH TONGUE
—Wakefulness comes with the touch of something rough stroking his cheek.
What Subaru feels as his consciousness bobs to the surface is an encompassing sense of lethargy. His body is so sluggish he could suspect that his veins and arteries no longer run with blood, but lead. Subaru opens his mouth to inhale, when his dry and sticking lips tear with a sharp pain and the taste of blood seeping into his oral cavity. Inside an utterly arid mouth, Subaru's tongue skulks about as it seeks the liquid so known as blood.
The movements of his limbs are slow, his head feverish and working poorly. He lacks even the strength to force open his eyelids, instead managing to get his eyes open by rolling his heavy eyeballs.
Subaru: “...You.”
The moment colour enters his vision, Subaru sees as ebony of a different hue than the undersides of his eyelids. That moving thing exhales breaths scented with the smell characteristic to beasts, and had been consolingly licking the sleeping Subaru.
A lustrous black body, with a slender, refined form. Although sharp, its reptilian eyes have a kind of charm, and its knifelike fangs could send one to eternal rest with merely a single bite. From the mouth hosting these fangs there extends the red tongue which had licked Subaru's cheek—which belongs to Subaru's beloved steed, Patrasche.
Patrasche notices that the awakened Subaru has recognized her presence and sits down, stopping with her licking as she waits for his words. This surprisingly dexterous dragon apparently can fold her legs to seat herself.
Seeing Patrasche before him, and having something hard at his back supporting him, Subaru realises that his posture is one with his legs splayed out straight over the ground. He tilts his head back, to find that this object behind him is an overgrown, mossy stone wall, and that probably he has just woken up in the vicinity of the tomb's entryway.
Subaru: “But I was inside... why'm, outside?”
The established precedent is that he wakes up from the dream castle to find himself inside the tomb. If someone went in and pulled the unconscious Subaru outside then that's another story, but right now the only two people who can enter the tomb in SANCTUARY are Emilia and Garfiel. The concept that either one of them had dragged Subaru out lacks any real feeling of credibility.
Subaru: “That said, really doubt I crawled out myself, so who the...” heck, is the word he goes to continue with, when the echo of a new voice interrupts him. The cry comes from a silhouette running over from beyond Patrasche, trundling as it approaches, out of breath.
???: “Hey! P-Patrasche-chan, hold... wait! Ahh, hwaah... I-if you perhaps run away, it'd would be a disaster for m... huh?”
The grey-haired young man, Otto, comes to a stop with an expression of utmost relief as he sights Patrasche. He gives a relieved sigh at Patrasche, then tilting his head as he notices Subaru beside.
Otto: “Well hello Natsuki-san. What is it you're doing out here?”
Subaru: “Can't you see, I'm moonbathing. More like what're you doing out here this late? Depending how you answer, I'm shunting you over to Garfiel.”
Otto: “I don't know why you're presupposing that I've committed something improper, but my being out here at this hour with my brow dripping in sweat isn't unrelated to you, Natsuki-san.”
Subaru jokes around in usual form to gloss matters over. Otto shrugs, shaking his head.
Subaru: “Not unrelated to me?”
Otto: “There seemed quite a ruckus, and so I go to the dragon stables to see what's happening, where I find Patrasche-chan kicking up a great fuss. I wonder whether being kept pent in for several days may have built up stress in her, and unlatch the gates thinking to take her out for a little stroll, and... POW.”
Giving a great clap of his hands, Otto glares at the dignified Patrasche. Patrasche completely ignores him as she continues staring at Subaru.
Otto: “She's disregarding me entirely, well though I mean that's fine. So, she thrusts me aside as she bursts out of the stables. I was disoriented for some little while, but then I truly panicked as I realised that if she escaped outside it would be catastrophic considering my standing, and now here is where we are.”
Subaru: “And since she came to me, you're relaxed on that front.”
Otto: “Yes, that's correct. Natsuki-san, did you leave Patrasche-chan with some kind of instructions?”
Subaru: “No leisure time for that. I didn't even hang out with her 'cept to give her her food...”
Otto: “If you hadn't then you may have worried her. Considering how she left in such an incredible hurry.”
Subaru: “—”
Worry, is the word in Otto's mutter which plugs Subaru's throat and prevents him from voicing the rebuttal on his tongue. No way, is the thought which boils up as Subaru looks over his own body's condition in search of the evidence. He immediately finds the aftermath.
At the right shoulder of his jacket, he discovers the faint depressions of teeth-marks and traces of saliva. Subaru's back, too, is massively dirty with dust, as if he had been dragged.
Subaru: “Patrasche...”
Patrasche: “—”
Her round irises direct themselves toward Subaru. Subaru unwittingly swallows his breath at the dragon, who waits in silence for her master's words.
Subaru: “Did you drag me out of the tomb?”
Of course there is no way Patrasche can answer back with words. But after recognizing the dirtiness of his own body and looking at the dragon, Subaru notices that her black skin is flecked with lacerations. You can prepare tools to damage the hard, scaled hide of a ground dragon, but it would still be a difficult task to achieve. To Subaru it seemed that those wounds had spawned from inside her.
—The tomb has powers to repel creatures who are unqualified to take the TRIAL.
Roswaal's wounds as he chillaxes in the recuperation hut had originated from this. Should something unqualified tread inside, the tomb would bear its fangs at the snoop. Meaning,
Subaru: “Did, you seriously get yourself injured to pull me out?”
Patrasche: “—”
Subaru: “Why'd you, something so stupid... for me it's, I just wake up and walk outside like whatever and then... well that's all. You didn't have to get so flustered about pulling me out that you got wounded...”
The slices cut into Patrasche's hide are sharp enough that the red flesh beneath her black scales shows through, and painful-looking enough that just seeing the blood oozing through makes Subaru want to grimace. Patrasche had brought Subaru outside to the point that she sustained these wounds—and plainly said, the deed was pointless.
Failing to understand the motives behind Patrasche's actions, Subaru casts his gaze down as the dragon brings her snout near. Subaru remains with his legs still sloppily splayed out as a hard, rough texture nuzzles and nuzzles against the back of his neck. The wordless mutual understanding Subaru believed they had occasionally achieved was in fact a one-way road, and this relationship was entirely one of him being cared for in multiple contexts.
Subaru: “Otto.”
Otto: “Ah, what is it? You two look to be having a nice moment so I was thinking to leave so as not to intrude, but...”
Subaru: “Can you, please ask Patrasche why she helped me?”
Otto has his BLESSING OF XENOGLOSSY, which means he should be able to converse with animals, insects, and such other various lifeforms. What was Patrasche thinking as she tried so hard to bring Subaru out that she got wounded? The question behind the roots of her actions inevitably gives Subaru unease.
But Otto frowns at Subaru's request, his expression reluctant.
Otto: “Honestly speaking, I'm not especially inclined, Natsuki-san.”
Subaru: “Don't say that, just please.”
Otto: “Going from what I can conject from your mutterings to Patrasche-chan, Natsuki-san, you had just been inside the tomb with its TRIAL? I had vaguely suspected from this noon that you're qualified to take the TRIAL, but judging from the state you're in I'd suspect that you failed?”
Subaru: “...Yeah, you got it.”
The impact from his conversation with the witches had been too intense and his memory for this had near faded, but in this loop Subaru had neglected to inform everyone that he had beaten the first TRIAL. He had revealed the fact to Garfiel alone as an exception, from there entered the tomb and underwent the second TRIAL, and then came the witches' tea party. The TRIAL was not the entire reason for his being overwhelmed, but Subaru finds no reason to correct Otto's misunderstanding and instead proceeds to simply nod.
Otto's shoulders slump as he gives an astonished sigh.
Otto: “I can imagine several reason why you did that, but... what you did was stupid, Natsuki-san. Your time inside was severe, and as the finisher you worried your dragon, leading to this present situation. Since Patrasche-chan possesses great intuition, she must have noticed that something had happened to you. And so she blasted me out of the way and dashed to here... I'm sure her wounds aren't unrelated, either.”
Subaru: “—”
Otto follows down the same path that Subaru's imaginings had to reach this conclusion. Subaru's figured out this much. The problem at hand is why did Patrasche go so far for him. Which is what he'd like to get Otto to ask her.
Otto: “What is that, that look. You mean, you were actually serious about what you were saying before?”
Subaru: “How about we flip this, you seriously think I look like I'm in a state to be joking?”
Otto: “My feeling is that you have the pluck to tell terrible jokes even when you're worn ragged, Natsuki-san, and in this situation I would be more driven to mirth were I told it was in jest. —You truly don't understand?”
Before Subaru can counter Otto's low-voiced question, he finds himself overwhelmed beneath Otto's gaze. Otto is looking down at Subaru in disbelief, or more bluntly said Otto is looking at Subaru as if he were an idiot. So, Subaru had made some preposterous oversight somewhere here, or something?
But Subaru hits on no ideas as he fidgets, coming up with only confusion as he furrows his brows. Sweat rises on his forehead from his being flustered, but not a single idea rises in his thoughts. Otto gives his second sigh.
Otto: “My blessing isn't as faultless as you believe it is, Natsuki-san. While mutual communication is possible, that does not mean that it does translations. What they're saying does convey to me clearly, but if I'm to act as an intermediary to convey it to someone else, there's a tricky problem of nuance.”
Subaru: “—”
Otto: “That look is saying 'whatever do it anyway'. Well I'll do it, but... I really wonder if there's any point, in this.”
Mutters Otto in dissatisfaction as he nevertheless heeds Subaru's request. Otto approaches Patrasche who remains with her snout nuzzling Subaru, Otto gently stroking her black back.
Otto: <—>
The sound that launches out of Otto's open mouth is a noise rasping and shrill. This cry, inconceivable of being any human speech, was the consequence of his BLESSING OF XENOGLOSSY operating to convert his voice into a more appropriate form for communication with ground dragons. Patrasche raises her head and answers Otto in an identical type of keen. Hearing this, Otto opens his mouth again and so goes the conversation of dinosaur noises.
Otto: “That would be the end, but... hrm, it really is difficult to find the proper wording to communicate this. Her manner of emotional expression differs from a human's too, so how am I best to explain information only I can understand...”
Subaru: “Stop teasing. I'm begging, please tell me.”
Otto: “It isn't that I'm trying to tease, but.... augh, this really is problematic! Or actually, communicating this honestly requires an incredibly weird fastidiousness.”
Scratching his head, Otto looks up countless times as he deliberates, otherwise hanging his head as he mulls it over, and about at the time where Subaru starts to get restless and fidgety, Otto sighs.
Otto: “Right, here it is. I've chosen the words that, probably, are the closet I can figure.”
Subaru: “Right... and Patrasche was?” Otto: “Ermm, SURELY YOU WOULDN'T MAKE ME SAY IT, is about what I have.” Subaru: “—wha?” Otto scratches at his cheek embarrassedly as he speaks. Subaru's eyes widen.
He proceeds to wait to see if Otto will say anything else, but it doesn't seem any more words are coming. Seeing the stunned Subaru, Otto: “Patrasche-chan said SURELY YOU WOULDN'T MAKE ME SAY IT. My opinion on it would be 'well yeah sounds about right'.”
Subaru: “DON'T MAKE ME SAY IT... what's that...”
Otto: “Call it what or how, I'd say it means what it means. If I'm to supplement with my personal opinion, it would be: you truly need to be told before you can understand this?” Seeing Subaru's confusion intensify, Otto raises his finger. Otto: “Listening?” Otto: “Regardless your awareness of whether they're in a predicament, when you cannot bear to sit still and go soaring out, paying no reluctance to the fact you may be wounded as you offer your help, then stay constantly by their side until their awakening, and once they do wake you give them a relieved, relaxed smile—my thoughts are that someone who does such a thing would be thinking identically whether they're a dragon or human.”
Subaru: “Auh—” Otto: “Which means that you wouldn't have to be Patrasche-chan for this to be a DON'T MAKE ME
SAY IT. Not noticing it when her attitude expresses it so notably is incredibly daft. You're truly in bliss.” Hearing Otto's rather astonished question, Subaru recognizes the degree of his own stupidity.
Subaru looks at the yet-near Patrasche, to find her staring at Subaru with her consistently calm gaze. Perhaps noticing the change in Subaru's mental state, she rocks her long tail as she stands up.
Patrasche: “—” Patrasche again draws her snout near. Subaru's hand naturally moves to pat it. As his palm strokes her hard, craggy hide, Subaru's voice shakes.
Subaru: “Ri, ght.. you, like me.” Patrasche: “—” Subaru: “You love me, and that's why you're, here for me.”
Something jammed in his heart drops with a thunk. Patrasche growls in reply, violently rasping her snout against Subaru's palm in an attempt to conceal her embarrassment. Scrunching his brows at the feeling of his scraped skin, Subaru goes to open his mouth—
Subaru: “Oeu, awuh...”
Otto: “Natsuki-san?”
A droplet of heat falls to Subaru's cheek. A teardrop. At some point the stuff which abruptly welled up had overflowed. He hurriedly puts his hand to his cheek to wipe it away, but it's too late to hide. Otto saw it.
Otto: “Crying because you recognized your dragon is attached to you, Natsuki-san this...”
Subaru: “Nnuh, I... that's not, what this is... just, the timing lined up too godadmn well, and... fucking, just when it didn't really feel that real, suddenly the answer just comes fucking flying in my mental preparations weren't...”
The nigh-unfair timeliness of this development leads more of the stuff to well up, which Subaru frantically restrains. Back at the tea party, Subaru had awakened to his true feelings of not wanting to die. As well as to his greed of, on the same par that he desired to protect those precious to him, he desired to exist alongside those precious ones. Did he have the merit in him for his precious ones to value him? This particular thought was more difficult to acknowledge, and so Subaru had just pledged to verify whether it was true.
And now, Patrasche's uncompensated loyalty. Having his stunt pulled on him before he could do anything. What the heck is he meant to do?
The answer to what Subaru had agonized over, wondering what he should do, Patrasche had ferried in alongside his awakening.
For Patrasche at the very least, Subaru was a presence which conferred great enough influence that she, if having realised that he was having a nightmare, would desire to drag him outside even if it meant herself being wounded.
Subaru: “Didn't think I'd be getting the lesson from you. —Thank you, Patrasche.”
Answering to the loyalty directed at him, Subaru too fills his strokes with emotion as he pats Patrasche. Patrasche resolutely stretches out her neck as she stands still, savouring the sensation of his palm. That said, the swaying of her tail casually expresses her good spirits.
Otto: “Now that you've again recognized your bond with Patrasche-chan, Natsuki-san are you all right?”
Subaru: “Yeah, that helped a ton, thank you. ...am I alright?”
Otto: “I mean as in physically or mentally. The TRIAL must've been quite the tuckerer, yes? You're at the point where you're crying from lonesomeness, and Emilia-sama had been in an identical state.”
While Subaru would like to refute Otto's bantering, that he's grasped his weakness is unmistakable and so he refrains from alluding to it. Subaru instead considers Emilia's condition.
Subaru: “Easy, is what it isn't. But I think it's better for me to do it than Emilia. But nevermind all that, so even you're worried about me... could it be that you love me too?”
Otto: “Could you please keep from saying anything repulsive!? What is this, lonesomeness surely must have some line to leave uncrossed. Patrasche alone wasn't enough to satisfy you, and now you're in the mood to ask that question of everyone you meet?”
Subaru: “Can't I? Honestly right now I'm on the periphery of being able or not able to give myself validation, so I'd like to get even one more encouraging missive.”
Otto: “Right right, excellent that your usual gab is back. ...My worries for you were entirely resultant from my forethought to our ongoing relations. I would ask that you please don't misunderstand.”
His expression displeased as he hears Subaru's forcastual announcing of his incoming eccentricity, Otto holds his arms out at Subaru as he makes his assertion. Forethought to our relations, was some incredibly showy talk, but for an Otto who wished to clearly maintain the standing of a merchant it was probably a necessary statement.
Otto: “My acquaintance with you, Natsuki-san, is because I would like to preserve cordial relations with Margrave Mathers. Should some problem arise on that front, and more essentially should it appear that I myself will be faced with peril, I will be taking a zippy and ramshackle escape. I would appreciate for you to remember that.”
Call it unfeeling and it's a pretty unfeeling statement, but what Otto's talking about should less be called severe and more be called a tacit agreement. That Otto goes out of the way to voice it is a demonstration of Otto's being a good person, late as it is to mention that.
Subaru: “Right, yeah. You... or, no.”
Accepting Otto' realist remark, Subaru moves to nod—and stops. An awriness skims through Subaru's mind. He reaches the solution instantly, giving a breathy sigh.
Otto: “...What is it?”
Subaru: “Just remembered. Yeah, remembered. Remembered.”
Nodding several times to a sceptical Otto, Subaru puts his hand to his head as he looks to the sky. Subaru and Otto had operated together multiple times during these loops in SANCTUARY. And every time, Subaru saw it. And so,
Subaru: “You get in danger, and you're zipping off ramshackle... huh.”
Otto: “Yes, indeed. That I'd do so is natural. There's no reason for me to extend such service for you, Natsuki-san, or whoever else. As they say, always life for a living man...” Subaru: “You wouldn't run.” Otto: “—Weh?” Otto attempts in frivolous tone to take a realist's air, when Subaru mutters.
Otto's eyes widen. Subaru looks him straight-on. Subaru: “—You wouldn't leave me and run, Otto.” Otto had snuck into the hidden building of a violence-ready Garfiel, to rescue Subaru.
Otto had fought alongside the villagers, halting transformed Garfiel, to protect Subaru.
Though he speaks lines and lines of heartless words, acting like a bad person, Subaru knows that he isn't. Subaru: “Because, Otto. —You're my friend.”
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