CHAPTER 82: A CON-VERSATION
Subaru: “So no, it wasn't my imagination or any kind of mistake...”
Touching his hand to the crystal before him, sensing no signs of anything happening, Subaru presses his forehead to the cold, hard jewel as he gives a lamenting sigh. The girl sleeping inside the crystal—the original Lewes Meyer—gives no reaction to Subaru's laments. While the girl in her eternal sleep ideally would give no reply to Subaru's call, a reaction which should be coming plainly isn't. That being,
Subaru: “My qualifications've been disqualified, so even if I touch the crystal, the command right for the Lewes-san doubles isn't transferring to me...”
The command right for the Lewes Meyer doubles was a privilege that only APOSTLES OF GREED could acquire. Subaru, who had been rejected by Echidna and had his qualifications revoked, apparently did not deserve to be in that role.
Standing inside the test facility with its dingy air, Subaru finds himself lost on what to do as the glimmer of hope he saw now fades. Worst case, and truly worst case, the trauma Subaru experienced from witnessing the second TRIAL had made him hesitate to tread inside the tomb. Should this be the case, then the problem here is entirely Subaru's mental state. But should he take drastic measures to challenge the tomb over and over, eventually he would manage to strongarm his weak heart into it.
But if the problem lies outside of Subaru's workable reach, it's nothing going. That he cannot enter the tomb whenever he wants also means that he cannot speak directly with Echidna for regaining his qualifications. And before getting to that, would the witches appear before Subaru again, considering their last parting? Probably not, was his instinctive understanding.
That he understands this means that the plan of Subaru conquering the TRIAL has disappeared, and freeing SANCTUARY must be entrusted to someone other than Subaru. Meaning,
Subaru: “Saying to put Emilia through it... I think?”
Voicing the predicament he was most afraid of, a desire to shower Echidna's insidiousness with curses wells up inside Subaru. Echidna could read Subaru's memories. Only Echidna could observe these repeating worlds the same way that Subaru did. And so Echidna should know of Emilia, her mind broken from repeated solo challenges of the TRIAL, crushed. Echidna should have known how he was frantic himself, desperately trying to avoid that outcome.
Regardless, then, the WITCH OF GREED was forcing hardship on Subaru and Emilia.
Subaru: “What do I do, what do I do, whatdoidowhatdoIdowhaddaIdowhat...”
Thoughts blazing, Subaru forces his mind to solder as he searches for a plan. But even though he overtaxes his braincells to the point that his synapses scorch, following the loss of his glimmer of hope he finds no plan B. The situation is on a one-way road to worsening, and the people he has to rely on have only reduced in number.
A character, who knows the situation and thus understands enough to listen pleasantly to Subaru's words. A somebody, who would accept the information Subaru could not be upfront about, and still participate in conversation.
Mulling over things alone wouldn't result in anything. Echidna could not be relied on anymore. Meaning that now, there was only one person who Subaru could share his problems with.
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Roswaal: “Iiiiiiii certainly didn't expect for you to be visiting so late aaaaaaat night.”
Subaru: “...Really, this all-preparations-set vibe feels more like you were waiting. Not like you snuffed the lights to sleep, feels more you just lit the flame.”
Roswaal: “Ahaaaa, how haaaaaarsh. But, well, yooooooou're not wrong in the slightest.”
Leaned against his pillow as he uprights himself in the bed, Roswaal's cheeks relax as he welcomes Subaru. While most of the lights in Roswaal's bedroom have been snuffed, the flame of the candle of his little bedside table has just been changed, its amber light swaying as it illuminates the room.
The shade of the entrancing, wavering fire casts an eerie shadow over Roswaal's pallid face. Subaru swallows his breath as he gets to facing the conversation. Should Subaru's knowledge be correct, then a conversation with Roswaal would—
Roswaal: “Aaaaaaand so? You've purposefully come prowling here in the dead of night. Haaaaaave you perhaps come with some flirtation tooooo coax my attentions?”
Subaru: “...Coax you, isn't incorrect. Roswaal, is there a way to get through SANCTUARY without doing the TRIAL?”
Roswaal: “—”
With that one sentence alone, Roswaal's smile wreathes with a disgusting chill. The clown's grin stretches wide. He strokes his navy hair as he nods several times, gazing at Subaru with his yellow eye.
Roswaal: “Subaru-kun. —What attempt are you currently on?”
That question was a conversation-controller, stating that they were both aware of the superficial layer of what the other knew. It would give Roswaal the truth that Subaru was Returning by Death, and give Subaru the truth that Roswaal was in a position to know this. Subaru thus must present concessions, while amending Roswaal's information.
With a short sigh, Subaru gives a purposefully emphasized shrug.
Subaru: “Sorry, but it's at a point where counting'd be idiotic. I can't remember how many times we've probed each other out like this, either.”
Roswaal: “I... see. Uuuuuunderstood, uuuuuunderstod. That you're speaking with these rationalizations.... wooooould mean I'm free to think it's that, coooooorrect?”
Subaru: “Well, who could say.”
Subaru averts his gaze, toying cat and mouse with Roswaal. But he does not overlook how his words have led Roswaal's cheeks to stiffen. Or the fact that he has seized the initiative of the conversation with this opening move.
—While Roswaal may know that Subaru is looping, that does not mean he retains memories of the loops like Subaru does.
Subaru learned that fact in the loop where Roswaal revealed he knew about RETURN BY DEATH. It was also where he learned of Roswaal's incomprehensible tenacity, where while understanding that he himself would end with death, he attempted to use Subaru's RETURN BY DEATH to lead to his desired outcome.
Even now Subaru inevitably feels Roswaal's thinking disgusting and odious, but—
Subaru: “Right now in the middle of some trial and error. Kinda wanting your cooperation.”
Subaru came up with the idea to put on a performance, so that Roswaal would mistakenly believe that Subaru was acting as Roswaal intended. Presently, Roswaal unmistakably knows more of SANCTUARY's affairs than Subaru. It's unclear how much Roswaal's GOSPEL documents what will happen next, and so it's hard to iron everything out, but considering Roswaal's mutterings when he sighted the Sizeable Hare, it's surmisable that the gospel's writ had not been detailed to that extent.
Meaning, so long as he does not screw up with his word choice, Subaru can definitely extract information from Roswaal while simultaneously deceiving him.
Roswaal: “And part of that trial and error is overcoming SANCTUARY without challenging the TRIAL... is it? Iiiiiiiif so, that is raaaaaaaather faint-hearted. With your authority, consequent to your infinite attempts it should be possible for you to overcome hardships without fail. I don't know how many times you have attempted... but abandoning it aaaaaaand searching for another method would surely suggest an iiiiiinsufficent resolve?”
Subaru: “Getting inflexible and picky about everything resting on beating the TRIAL isn't what I'd call a sharp way to do things. If there's a smoother method I'll pick that, that's all. Losing sight of substance 'cause you're fussing over style's idiotic. Point is the necessary stuff's that we escape from this place and the achievements go to Emilia... am I wrong, Roswaal?”
While maintaining a calm and indifferent face, Subaru scrutinizes his statements word-by-word in real time to ensure he's making no mistakes. He checks everything the moment before it comes off his tongue, his tale-spinning operations whittling away at his nerves—but this mental fraying is necessary for deceiving Roswaal.
The logic he speaks is heartless—most likely, this is exactly the Subaru that Roswaal wants to see. There's no doubt that Roswaal wants Emilia to be Ruler, and for Subaru to be helping in that. Subaru reckons that the more callous his methods are, the more Roswaal would deem them desirable.
And, sure enough,
Roswaal: “Iiiiiiii see... that is indeed an answer tooooo my liking.”
Roswaal smiles in full satisfaction to Subaru's reply. Subaru bites the inside of his cheek as he sees the foulness of that clown-painted visage intensify, barely managing to preserve his nonchalant expression. Roswaal's disturbing gaze suggests that he had deemed Subaru of the same breed as him. Meaning that Roswaal had judged Subaru as being in the same standing as his own grade-A incomprehensible self. —The visceral disgust inside Subaru festers.
Roswaal: “Whiiiiiile I certainly find the changes in your thinking wonderful, aaaaaaaaaanswering your question is rather difficult. There are no precedents. After all, the barrier has never been broken since its establishment. I've never considered whether there may be tears in it, since considering the being who placed it, it would be best to abandon aaaaaaaall optimistic hopes for such oversights.”
Subaru: “It's Echidna's barrier...”
Roswaal: “Eeeeeeexactly. SANCTUARY's cemetery is her gravestone, with the barrier being something to prevent the half-bloods she used pre-death in her experiments from escaping. ...Aaaaaaaalthough I'm sure you would have aaaaaaaalready investigated into this much.”
Subaru: “Well, course. Just saying, I know about the Lewes Meyer facility in the woods, too. And about the doubles, and that Garfiel has the command right.”
Roswaal: “Aahaaaaaa, that dooooooes speed matters up.”
Subaru responds to Roswaal's showing of information by carefully revealing his own cards. Roswaal closes his eyes, sighing in thought.
Roswaal: “The liberation of SANCTUARY is an indispensable achievement for Emilia-sama to be Ruler. Should you stray from proper methods, theeeeeee people of SANCTUARY and the people of Arlam Village will not be apt to consider it one.”
Subaru: “So long as we can at least get them outside, we've got lots of ways we can fudge that part over. And besides this isn't the only chance we have to reap achievements. Judging this opportunity as bad and standing by for another one'd be...”
Roswaal: “Another opportunity? Why are you back tooooooo saying this?”
Roswaal's eyes widen in bewilderment as Subaru senses his gaffe. A Subaru resolved to scour himself away as he completes countless redos—was the Subaru that Subaru was presently preforming. With that Subaru's bloodthirsty thinking, he would have no reason to pass up the chance to attain the achievements sitting right in front of him.
Before Roswaal's doubts can develop further, and without letting his regret show on his expression, Subaru comes up with words.
Subaru: “Just try thinking about it.”
Subaru: “As you've realised, I can toil in efforts to make Emilia Ruler to any degree I want. Because I can do rehearsals of the future to come back with information. Dunno how this'll sound but, freeing SANCTUARY's a tiny event with few people involved. We should be putting our efforts into things like the White Whale or the Witch Cult, stuff that'll have a greater impact. —This isn't a place meriting that I put in that much effort.”
Roswaal: “...Noooooo, liberating SANCTUARY is indispensable. Allow me to set that as a point beyond compromise. You see, I still inevitably have my doubts when it cooooooomes to your power.”
Subaru: “Doubts?”
Subaru tilts his head as the conversation flows in an unanticipated direction. Roswaal nods.
Roswaal: “Indeed.”
Roswaal: “Iiiiiiiii cannot with my own eyes affirm your authority to redo. Iiiiiiit's also possible that I'm not coooooonvinced by your wheedling. Though naaaaaaturally, should results come about alongside I'm afraid I wooooooould be forced to acquiesce.”
Subaru says nothing.
Roswaal: “I will plainly assert that for making Emilia-sama the Ruler, my power... the aid of the Mathers Family is necessary and iiiiiiiiindespensible. Liberating SANCTUARY would be what makes me believe your power to assist Emilia-sama is legitimate, and from there we would be tied in a positive relationship.... iiiiiis about how I would preeeeeeefer you to regard this.”
Is Roswaal's sound logic as he narrows his eyes. Subaru is speechless. Everything Roswaal is saying is valid, and Subaru can think of no real rebuttal.
Emilia requires a backer for her stand the theatre of the Royal Selection, and there is no one influential around except Roswaal who seems liable to do that. Following commands so as not to displease your patron is correct. With the soundness of Roswaal's views and the urgency of the situation, it's excessively correct. But even while jostled by those waves of reason, Subaru feels an unease.
Because Roswaal seems far too fixated on the liberation of SANCTUARY itself. Subaru: “I kinda think this's changing track of the conversation, but...” Roswaal: “Hm? Yeeeeees?” Subaru raises his finger to draw attention. Roswaal tilts his head.
Focusing firm on Roswaal's odd-coloured eyes, Subaru speaks. Subaru: “Is there a reason for you to unconditionally want SANCTUARY freed?” Roswaal: “—” Roswaal responds to the question with simple silence.
Silence, as his grin slowly deepens, and his yellow eye's gaze pierces Subaru. —Subaru senses on his skin that once again, the situation's mood is changing.
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