Re:Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu - Volume 4 - Chapter 99

CHAPTER 99: ALONE IN A CONFINED SPACE 

—A situation where two important characters have gone missing simultaneously. 

Faced with an experience which has never happened before in this loop series, Subaru's guts blaze with entirely panic. Subaru sprints through SANCTUARY, heading for the lodgings where Lewes is residing. Apparently she had been living in a small hut on the village outskirts while lending her house to Emilia. 

Garfiel: “...So yer fuckin' came.” 

Subaru belts the door open as he storms inside, for Garfiel to be inside and welcoming him imposingly. He crosses his arms, scrunching his nose in clear irritation as he glares at Subaru. 

Garfiel: “Yer slow. How long're thinkin' t'keep people fuckin' waitin'.” 

Subaru: “I-I was running fast as I could... But anyway, what's this about Lewes-san being gone?” 

Garfiel: “Can't yer goddamn see 'swhat it is?” 

Garfiel jerks his chin, indicating the cramped room. Subaru surveys his gaze over the space—or would, if it were wide enough for such a verb. Lewes' temporary lodgings are a tiny shanty shack, barebones, with the only furniture being a bed. And if Lewes is not present upon that bed, then without any doubt she is absent from this house. 

Composing his breathing, Subaru rigorously wipes the sweat off his brow with his sleeve. 

Subaru: “It's obvious she's not here, but... isn't saying she's gone missing exaggerating things? Lewes-san looks young but she's really a splendid adult. Starting a fuss because she's gone out on a walk or something isn't very...” 

Garfiel: “Fucking shut up! Fuck would you goddamn know! Y'see th'granny, she ain't even once gone without showin' up at breakfast f'no reason. Never seen her oversleep or stay in bed 'cuzza sickness, either, and yer sayin' she's havin' a walk? I'll eat you goddamn dead.” 

Subaru: “The way you said that was so coarse, but man it's crazy how comfy a relationship you have with Lewes-san...” 

Circumstances are circumstances, but the basis for the idea that Lewes has gone missing is incredibly weak, and Subaru slumps as he untenses. But Garfiel pays no mind to Subaru's exasperation. He approaches Subaru, who has fixed his posture, baring his fangs as he speaks. 

Garfiel: “Something that ain't ever happened before 's happenin' now this mornin'. If something that ain't ever happened 'n this village before's happenin' now, 's cause you people're involved with it, even an idiot'd know that. —Yer did some fishy with th'granny.” 

While Garfiel has incredible intuition for making baseless conjectures and false accusations, this time his suspicions hit the bullseye. Lewes's—today it should be Lewes Theta—disappearance is almost unmistakably because of 

Subaru. It's highly unlikely that someone would've kidnapped Theta simultaneously with Emilia. She left this spot on her own two feet, without even telling Garfiel. She is identical to Emilia in being obstructed by SANCTUARY's barrier, so she will not have fled to the outside. Meaning that Theta's goal is to go into hiding. —And the time limit for her is even more pressing than Emilia's. 

Subaru: “If I don't find Theta-san before today's over...” 

...the rotation will shift, and tomorrow a new Lewes—Alpha, Beta, or Sigma—will take her place. Should that happen, it is highly unlikely he will be able to speak with Theta within the two day limit, and perfection of the SANCTUARY route will be impossible. 

Garfiel: “Theeter?” 

Asks Garfiel in confusion. Subaru had been thinking to ask for Garfiel's help in finding Theta, but seeing his expression, decides to ditch that plan. The question surging up inside Subaru stops him from saying anything. 

Subaru: “—” 

It was a simple question, but not one he had ever confirmed. 

—Does Garfiel actually know about the four representative Lewes personalities? 

Garfiel knows about the ruined experiment site deep in the woods, and about Lewes Meyer in the crystal. He had challenged the TRIAL, met Echidna, and was qualified as an APOSTLE OF GREED. Garfiel, possessing the command right for the Lewes duplicates, knows that there are multiple doubles who all look exactly the same. But what about the rest? Does Garfiel know about the presence of the four Lewes personalities Alpha, Beta, Sigma, and Theta? 

Garfiel: “N'what? Yer fuckin' shut up aller a sudden. If yer got some kinder clue, fuckin' fess up on th'double. Yer think we're doin' a SIMPLE SINCERE LIB-LIB, SWINDLED AND IN BLISS here?” 

Subaru: “Lib-Lib's going to be swindled forever, like that...” 

Imagining a story about joyful prince, Subaru puzzles over how best to reply to Garfiel. Confrontation with Garfiel is the final barricade for the SANCTUARY route. Subaru is overwhelmingly unprepared to face him without having heard Theta's motives. But his responses here are, unintentionally, going to influence the issue. —How should he respond? At the end of his deliberating, Subaru, 

Subaru: “Hey, Garfiel. If you felt like it, couldn't you just summon Lewes-san?” 

Garfiel: “—hk!!” 

Garfiel's expression shifts violently. With his eyes wavering in discomposure, he grabs Subaru's collar and yanks him close. At a range so close their foreheads could touch, Garfiel's golden eyes host rage—rage, abounding, so intense his gaze alone could practically burn his opponent to nothing. 

Garfiel: “My amazin' self ain't gotter shred ovva speck ovva glimpse ovva Miufram's inklin' f' what  yer tryin' t'say 'n the slightest.” 

Subaru: “I-I don't know what a Miufram is, but... this is not the reaction of someone who doesn't have a shred of a speck of an idea... stupid, let go.” 

Perhaps flipping out and grabbing Subaru was something he did to calm himself down. Garfiel's words as he attempts to cover things up are incoherent nonsense. With Subaru's statement being entirely correct, Garfiel's hands slacken, and Subaru uses the opening to escape. He smooths out his crinkled clothes, taking one step away to open distance. 

Subaru: “What I'm trying to say is exactly what it sounds like. Your brains aren't unfortunate enough that you wouldn't get it. You have methods. You have the fastest, easiest solution. Why aren't you taking it?” 

Garfiel: “Fuckin' saying this bullshit so fuckin' cheerily...” 

His cheeks twisted in frustration, Garfiel glares at Subaru with utmost hatred. But even while the ratios of fury and hostility in those eyes intensify, there is enough grief creeping in that even Subaru can identify it. Subaru's expression shifts as he notices Garfiel's sorrow. Garfiel clicks his tongue, the shades of his emotion having been witnessed, as he looks away. 

Garfiel: “Heres's who's qualified, n' so no allowance fer carelessness. 'S a complete unknown what that asshole witch fucking schooled into you. Fuck off. Fucking fuck off.” 

Subaru: “—” 

Garfiel: “Yer sayin' y'fucking know about granny's test site. Then probably y'fuckin' know 'bout th'granny in the source rock too... it ain't something t'just use.” 

Garfiel cradles his right arm across his heart, attempting to hide it from Subaru's gaze. While most likely it is not actually there, this is probably him indicating that he possesses the invisible thing known as the command right. With his arm still shielding his chest, 

Garfiel: “My amazin' self ain't anythin' like you or Roswaal. This thing'f knowing it's there, and still thinking t'use them... never.” 

Subaru: “...Garfiel.” 

Garfiel: “Just me alone is enough. So long as I got me, I don't need anythin' else. Like fuckin' hell I'd use this power, 'less isth' fifty-ninth second f'the fifty-ninth minute f'the 'leventh hour. —She's mine nanna.” 

The close comes with a whisper. Subaru has heard Garfiel call Lewes 'nanna' once before. But this time, he dropped the ostentatious 'my amazing self' as well. That slip was likely Garfiel's true opinion on it. 

Garfiel: “—Tch.” 

Realising that he said something unnecessary, Garfiel kicks at the floor in irritation. The exorbitant force makes the shoddy house lurch, spilling down dustclouds to tickle Subaru's head and neck, himself waiting for Garfiel's next move. Recognizing that his outburst is his own fault, Garfiel's face twists in further discomfort. He shoves Subaru, who stands before the door, rudely out of the way. 

Garfiel: “Move. I ain't got business with you anymore. If you ain't givin' ideas t'where th'granny went, then my amazin' self'll find her first's all. And then I ain't letting yer touch her again.” 

Subaru: “Sure's nice of you to decide that I'm behind this.” 

Garfiel: “B'fore you... 'fore all you people came, nothin' went on here, n' it was peaceful. My amazin' self's getting that back. Not inside n' not outside, I don't need anything... don't need it.” 

Is the weak note he ends with as he strides out of the shack. Immediately after exiting he bends his knees, and with bestial leg strength bounds away—so quick that despite his path being straight, he disappears from view after only a handful of seconds. Batting away the dust that Garfiel's departure kicked up, Subaru decides to check over the room again before leaving. 

Nevermind Garfiel and his hasty conclusions. Did Lewes truly disappear without leaving any trace? Perhaps if she hadn't left behind a clue as to her location... 

Subaru: “Yeah right, if she had then someone who's known her longer would've spotted it ages ago. My nose isn't better than his, and my eyes're nastier too.” 

After five minutes of searching around and finding nothing, Subaru sighs his self-flagellating laments. He exits the building, gazing over toward the village, thinking. 

Subaru: “—” 

Emilia and Lewes Theta have disappeared almost simultaneously. Most likely, they left their buildings of their own accord, and are fleeing from Subaru and everyone else. Perhaps possibility exists for them to be cooperating. 

Subaru: “I don't remember ever seeing Emilia and Lewes-san being close, but...” 

This is Emilia, whose mind is constantly addled with the Selection and the TRIAL. Subaru presently is having trouble remembering any occurrence where she interacted relaxedly with anyone here. While she has had some whimsical conversations with Subaru, Ram, Otto and so on, it doesn't seem like she's spoken very much with the representatives of SANCTUARY, Lewes and Garfiel. 

Thinking back on it now, the scantness of her interactions with outsiders might be because the desires of her clique made her feel isolated and obligated. The thought makes Subaru's lack of consideration come to fore. If Subaru had taken better action, he would have managed to find a clearer solution which would have left Emilia without this overflowing excess of emotion. 

Subaru: “All of it's just way too late...” 

This isn't the time to be thinking about the underlying causes for Emilia's disappearance. And more importantly, if he probes into it, all it's going to do is aggravate Subaru's self-invalidation. Right now he lacks the time to be letting his negativity-prone self engage in that self-loathing. 

Subaru: “Call it fortune in misfortune that Garfiel didn't know Emilia's gone missing... probably wouldn'tve gone looking for her before Lewes-san, but no idea what he'd start saying if he had that to be his pretext.” 

But even this relief will be pointless if Subaru does not secure Emilia, and quickly. The situation with Lewes Theta is not one he can postpone, either. If he fails to find Theta before Garfiel does, then she will fall into overprotective Garfiel's charge, and making contact with her will be difficult. So, to clearly stipulate the things Subaru must do: 

Subaru: “Secure Emilia and Lewes Theta before Garfiel can. Both need to be secured within half a day, then I need to find out why Theta's opposing SANCTUARY's freedom, get Emilia back on her feet, and have her challenge the TRIAL... I think.” 

Otto: “...Natsuki-san, how brambled does the path need to be before you're satisfied?” 

Says Otto, who shows up at the shack's entrance at the perfect timing to butt into Subaru's bleak conclusion. Otto, who has arrived considerably later than Subaru who sprinted, looks around the room Subaru had dishevelled as he looked for traces of Lewes. Otto furrows his brows. 

Otto: “I'd request for a little more elegance when searching a house. The conversation with Garfiel looks to have ended safely.” 

Subaru: “Ended safely, but hard to really say anything profitable came of it. Anyway, we've re-recognized what the situation is, and our schedule for what to do next's what I just muttered.” 

Otto: “I could only hear that muttering as, new problems have piled into a jumbled mess before we could resolve the other problems.” 

Subaru: “...” 

Unable to joke around at Otto's correct impression, Subaru slumps his shoulders. That he nevertheless feels slightly more at ease than before is perhaps the empowering thought of THERE'S NO NEED TO KEEP DELIBERATING ALONE that Otto's presence brings. 

Otto: “...If you keep looking blatantly relieved like that it's truly going to be problematic.” 

Subaru: “—? What?” 

Otto: “Speaking to myself. You mustn't have noticed. No, you didn't. If you did and you're doing this to me, then clearly you already have me perfectly in your pocket, aaaugh grief.” 

Otto scratches messily at his grey hair as Subaru tilts his head. But rather than reply to Subaru's  confusion, he yells, 

Otto: “Anyway!” 

Otto: “It's clear that a previously-stalemated situation has degraded further. What will we do? Requirements which would already prompt one to flee have overlapped with even worse requirements, and how will we break this deadlock? I have a feeling that if we did it right at this moment, though, we could still be afforded to abandon everything and escape.” 

Subaru: “Desert everything involved with what we've seen and heard up to now? Neither of us have personalities which could pull that kind of irresponsible stunt.” 

Otto: “...Although, Emilia-sama may have done exactly that.” 

Mutters Otto with a sigh, averting his gaze. It's likely not out of spite, but just him wanting to voice the dissatisfaction holed up in his heart. Subaru consciously keeps himself from criticising Otto for the attitude. But he does give a small shake of his head. 

Subaru: “Turning tail and running from her problems isn't the kind of girl Emilia...” 

Otto: “Is, is something you can assert? Natsuki-san. I've been thinking to say this for a while now, but don't you find you focus far too much on the attractive things about Emilia-sama?” 

Subaru: “...What're you getting at. Well yes I mean Emilia is so beautiful my eyes could explode.” 

Otto: “That I will frankly agree with, but I'm sure you understand that that wasn't what I meant.” 

His poor jokes easily done away with, Subaru frowns as Otto's gaze showers upon him. Otto raises his finger, his expression one of seeing something painful to watch. 

Otto: “Listening, now?” 

Otto: “I understand the desire to see only the good things about somebody you love. I'm sure that such a thing is very common. There is nothing to condemn about projecting ideals upon your partner.” 

Subaru: “—” 

Otto: “However, Emilia-sama is not a perfect person. In fact, she has many issues. She does, and that would include the things which Emilia-sama herself cannot do anything about. Her lineage, her standing, and many other fetters come attached to Emilia-sama.” 

Hearing Otto's fluent speech, Subaru figures that probably he has been intending for a while now to give him a lecture close to this, and had prepared his lines. And indeed his words are entirely sound, with no purchase at all for rebuttal. 

Otto: “Naturally, those external factors are unrelated to Emilia-sama's own essential purity. And let us sincerely recognize her beautiful appearance as another point of charm. But you see, Natsuki¬san. Emilia-sama is still of mankind... she is an ordinary, regular woman. She surely would possess  the worries, weaknesses, and uglinesses suited to an ordinary woman.” 

Subaru: “No but, when it's Emilia...” 

Otto: “That you blindly regard Emilia-sama as extraordinary like this is truly odd. Natsuki-san, surely in this SANCTUARY you've witnessed Emilia-sama's insufficient aspects to the point you're sick of it. That would not be something limited to this place alone, and is entirely probable to surface in the future as well. The place she desires is beyond the reach of ordinary people with its height, you see.” 

The Throne. The height Emilia is reaching for, which Otto judges as the zenith. Subaru knows the others, who are also aiming for that peak. 

Noble and sincere, possessing great ideals and assured ability, Crusch Karsten. Proud and insidious, but consequently never to waver in her self-concept, Priscilla Barielle. Greedy and calculating, concentrating everything she has to realising her dream, having ascended to her present social position through her matchless competitive strength, Anastasia Hoshin. Poor and weak in initial position, but nonetheless possessing ambition which would not permit her to stagnate there, having exhibited capabilities disproportionate to her age, Felt. 

All of the candidates are facing the Selection while possessing virtues, and strong wills which shall not bend to anyone. Was Emilia fit to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with these worthy opponents? She was merely kind, kinder than anyone else. Was that alone not enough? 

Otto: “Presently, Emilia-sama is lacking in many things. She is not complete. That is how Emilia¬sama is, and so she becomes timid when faced with hardship, and surely she sometimes wishes to escape. How is it that you do not believe now would be one of those times, and she has desired to flee?” 

Subaru: “...That's. It's that, about Emilia, I would never...” 

Never. Subaru is rather incapable of stating what to say next. He can't find the words. Assuredly present and smouldering in his heart, his feelings toward Emilia. Which words to use to ornament this thing, his rebuttal to Otto, which will explain it? 

Subaru: “—” 

Otto: “...Stubborn, aren't you.” 

Subaru bites his lip, looking at Otto with a gaze fully hosting rebellion. Otto responds to the silent gaze, shrugging his shoulders, before giving an astounded shake of the head and staring at the village. 

Otto: “It's not essential that we reach a conclusion about this right now. Our talking won't move the situation along, after all. Nothing has changed about us needing to search for Emilia-sama and Lewes-san.” 

Subaru: “...Sorry. I know there's heaps of things I have to talk about with you more properly.” 

Otto: “We're friends, I'll overlook it. —Now, what do we do?” 

Jerking his chin to indicate the outside—indicate SANCTUARY—Otto leaves their course of action up to Subaru. Run, or fight? Which of the two missing persons should they search for? These questions were Otto's very trust in Subaru itself. While he has no intention to treat them lightly, Subaru does laugh at himself for the incredible abundance he's been given. 

Subaru: “Garfiel doesn't know Emilia's missing. And if Garfiel does find Emilia, it's not a huge issue. —The worst would be for Garfiel to secure Lewes-san before we can. If we don't have any opportunities to talk with Lewes-san, we're essentially getting further from the best ending.” 

Otto: “...In sum?” 

Subaru: “—We're looking for Lewes-san. We find her before Garfiel, and hear her story.” 

※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※ 

???: “—Emilia. Everybody's about to have an important talk. So are you okay to wait patiently in the usual spot for a moment?” 

Being shut in the hollow of the great arbour deep in the forest—shut in the Princess Room—with this line was an affair which greatly dissatisfied young Emilia. 

Emilia was raised loved by everyone, in a village in the forest where the elves lived in hiding. All the adults were nice to her, and they'd entertain her selfish little whims without looking reluctant at all. She did feel some loneliness about the fact that she only rarely got to interact with children her age, but she had to follow her instructions. Rules like that are to be firmly kept, her mother substitute Mother Fortuna had told her.1 

Fortuna was taking care of Emilia in the elf village. She was her substitute mom. With her silver hair and amethyst eyes, her characteristic features were identical to Emilia's. But because long hair was annoying, she cut hers short, and her sharp eyes were also a large point of difference from Emilia. 

Emilia didn't remember how long it had been since she started living with Fortuna. But she had heard that she was not her real mother, and was a blood relative somewhere in the vicinity of an aunt. 

Fortuna: “I'm your dad's younger sister. My brother... your dad and mom are busy right now and can't be with you, so I'll be looking after you.” 

1 The name of Emilia's mother figure is フォルトナ(Fortona/Fortna/Fortuna) rather than more straightforward  katakanaizations フォルトゥーナ(Fortuna) orフォーチューナ (Forchuna/Fortuna). This may or may not wind  up being another Petelgeuse Thing, but since I can't come up with any close-but-not-quite alternate names and  because this spelling appears to be commonly used to mean the goddess Fortuna/officially romanized as Fortuna in  other contexts, I'm content to leave it put (until surprise arc 8 happens and it winds up being a Petelgeuse thing). 

Fortuna's explanation had greatly shocked Emilia. But that said, the shock was not a negative one. While Fortuna had emphasized time and time again that she was not Emilia's real mom, as far as Emilia cared, she was undoubtedly her mother. Then, neverminding Mother Fortuna's presence, Emilia learned she had a dad and a real mom also. Usually people's parents only numbered to two, their mom and dad. But Emilia had one dad, and two moms. What happiness, she thought. 

Fortuna: “Your silver hair is from my brother. And your eye colour too, it looks like our family really showed up there. ...But your kind face is from your mother. Everyone on my side has nasty eyes.” 

Emilia: “...But I like your eyes, Mother Fortuna.” 

Harsh, stern eyes were the regular. Occasionally Emilia would disobey her instructions and make Fortuna mad, and her stern eyes would compound in sharpness, and it would make Emilia tremble. But, excluding those times when she was in an angry mood, Emilia considered Fortuna an ideal Mom. Those sharp eyes of hers did of host loving emotions, too. 

Fortuna was a strict, but kind mother. She instated rigid discipline toward Emilia's behaviours, so much so that young Emilia sometimes thought it excessive, but even so she had always understood that all of it was done with Emilia in mind. Violence never accompanied her discipline, and she never scolded Emilia over anything unreasonable. While it had happened that Emilia did something bad and she cried from the scolding, they would reconcile and spend the night in the same bed, sleeping together and hugging. 

Fortuna: “There are some things I regret sooo much. Where I wish I could've been kinder to people. If I had thought that way sooner, I'm sure my brother wouldn't have relied on me last.” 

A loneliness would arise on Fortuna's face when she said 'sooo'. That had left a very, very strong impression on Emilia, and so she consciously decided to copy it. Not when she was sad, but when she was happy or laughing were the times she chose to use it. My mom doesn't have any sorrows or lonelinesses, was the shallow, childish sentiment with which she attempted to overwrite her mother's characteristic quirk with good memories. 

Emilia: “Hmp... so boring.” 

The story returns to the opening, where Emilia is confined to the Princess Room alone. She did not like being called 'Princess' very much, but it was what everybody in the village called her. By now she had found herself unwittingly and entirely accustomed to it. Because she knew they were not making fun of her, and were instead saying it with affection, Emilia never requested that they stop. But that they even used the moniker for this confining room was one of Emilia's few dissatisfactions in life. 

Emilia: “What could everybody be doing...” 

Emilia's confinements in the Princess Room always occurred when somebody was visiting the village. It wasn't that anyone had told her there were a small number of people entering the forest and visiting the elves' hidden community, she sensed it on her skin. This sensation was because Emilia was unconsciously interfering with the forest's minor spirits, and  she was acquiring information from them. But, Emilia had not realised this back then. 

She would merely sit in the cramped room, hugging her knees, passing time by flipping through the pages of the time-killer books she'd been given, or playing with the crappy dolls Fortuna had made. It was a secret meeting that only the adults knew about—was what she'd been told, but apparently the other kids were involved in the meeting, too. And that was another one of Emilia's more recent dissatisfactions. 

It was Mother Fortuna who had taught Emilia that you mustn't lie or keep secrets. So was it not a bad thing of Mother Fortuna and the adults, that they were keeping secrets and lying to Emilia? 

Once every ten or so days did the visitors come, and accordingly did Emilia spend her short stays in the Princess Room. While Emilia did have her dissatisfactions, she was not a naughty enough girl to let them show. However, this was her don't-even-know-what-th time in the Princess Room, and she and Fortuna had had an argument the night before. Most importantly, she had forgotten to bring along the dolls Fortuna gave her, and had left them in her bedroom—the decisive blow. 

Emilia: “Wanna go outside.” 

She wasn't saying it to anyone. It was just a mutter. Nothing more than that. But while she hadn't been saying her mutter to anybody she knew, the THEM she knew had heard it perfectly clear. 

Emilia: “—?” 

Inside the hollow, in a room lit by the white glow of lagumite crystals, spots of pale-blue light now mingled. With one blink from her, those abruptly-visiting glimmers captivated Emilia's attention. The lights danced before Emilia's eyes, and still keeping the young girl a prisoner to her curiosity, they migrated to a corner of the Princess Room—where they disappeared, as if sucked into the wall. 

Emilia: “—” 

Emilia stood up, before tottering toward the spot where the lights had vanished. She was a little scared, but it was her curiosity which burned hotter in her chest. Standing before the wall which had sucked in the lights, Emilia touched her hand to the thing, confirming the feel of the wood. Which was when she discovered, just the perfect size for her little arm to go in, an open hole in the wall. The glimmering lights had disappeared through this hole. 

The front door of the Princess Room was barred from the outside, and could not be opened from inside. It was an arrangement where Emilia could not escape, even if she attempted to flee. Thinking back on it, that treatment was excessive and assuredly not fit for peacetime. But Emilia had thought the whole thing normal, and had no purchase to question it. However, having discovered that a supposedly unexitable place may in fact be exitable, Emilia's heart vacillated between her curiosity and her mother's teachings. 

She wanted to know what everybody was doing in the village while she was away. But Mother Fortuna had firmly taught her to listen to her instructions. She needed to stay here and wait until Fortuna returned to the Princess Room. 

But what if she sneakily tested this exit route, and after peeking on what everybody was doing, came back here? 

It was the adults who had first broken the rules to not tell lies or keep secrets. If it was just one, if Emilia broke just one rule, then would they not be even? 

Emilia: “—” 

Young Emilia considered it with all her might. This was a small, but just cause. 

This hole she had stuck her hand into, with a closer look, was a gap between the entangled roots of the tree. If she put all her strength into it—and although only sightly—the opening would expand. With her sense of touch as her guide, young Emilia pushed away the roots, eager to secure a space large enough for her to pass through. Her brow dripped with sweat, and dirt muddied her clothes, the vestiges of her deeds too visible to get away with saying 'No nothing happened at all' to Fortuna. Regardless Emilia managed to widen the gap in the roots, succeeded in crawling out from the hollow, and exited into the outside. 

Emilia: “—a” 

Emilia's heart harboured a strange sense of accomplishment as the outside breeze showered her. She had done something bad, where she would be told off if people knew, but she greatly felt the urge to immediately go to Fortuna and brag: Ahehem, I did it. Naturally the scolding would be as vicious as flame, and so Emilia yanked on the breaks before she could start running. That was a dangerous moment. 

But, here are Emilia's thoughts: 

—If I had listened to my idiot logic back then, and gone to get praise from Mother Fortuna, and she scolded me vigorously, and I cried and wailed and regretted it and forgot about that stupid gap in the roots, everything would've been so much better. If I had done that, then this would have all ended without the trigger for the tragedy afterwards being pulled. 

—What was the tragedy, exactly? 

Deaf to the question and successful in her escape from the Princess Room, young Emilia dashed triumphantly off to where everybody probably was. Her stealthy hiding as she travelled, peeping around the place, magnified her recognition that she was doing a bad thing. Help from the minor spirits meant she more or less just kind of knew where everybody was. 

Emilia soon discovered everybody gathered in the village square. Saw them, alongside a group of people in unfamiliar black clothes. 

Emilia: “—” 

She hid behind a notably large tree, before nimbly climbing up its branches to the top. Young Emilia was quite a rascal, and so when she scampered from tree to tree to tree like an animal, it would horrifically panic the adults, who would frantically attempt to catch her. 

The acrobatics she learned from these activities thus allowed her to watch over the conversation, from the adults' blind spot. 

The total population of the elf village numbered to about forty. Everyone from adults to children was assembled there, except for Emilia. The black-robes were fewer in number, and totalled to perhaps twenty. Some of them were in the middle of the assembly, participating in the discussion, while the rest were transferring luggages. The black-robes looked to have come here with wagons, and as they delivered the luggage from those carts to the villagers, the villagers' faces would brighten, and they would bow their heads. 

???: “—We can't thank you enough for all the care you give us.” 

What could they be doing? What could they be saying? Just when she thought to lean a little bit forward, out of the tree, Emilia heard a voice so close it could've been whispered in her ear. Emilia jerked in surprise. She scanned the area, but failed to find anybody who could be the voice's owner. And before getting to that, that voice just now unmistakably belonged to Mother Fortuna. Said Fortuna was directly below Emilia—leading the group, and in the middle of a discussion with one of the black-cloaks. 

Fortuna: “It really does help everyone that you're procuring us this stuff we can't get in the forest. We're glad to accept them.” 

Cloak: “And I am grateful to hear so. Our inability to present you any other succour is greatly vexatious to us. We lay burdens upon you perpetually, Fortuna-sama.” 

Fortuna: “We're laying them on you as well.” 

Emilia clearly heard the conversation, which carried enough wry smiles for two. Fortuna's gestures from below Emilia informed her that without a doubt, that exchange happened right now at this instant. Apparently, Emilia's hearing was presently outrageously sharp. It was actually the tactful work of the minor spirits who obeyed Emilia's will, but naturally young Emilia did not notice their discretions. 

Fortuna's conversation partner, garbed in a black robe, was a man of bold countenance. His muscles and height made him stand out prominently among the village of oft-skinny elves. But so in spite of his martial appearance it seemed unimaginable, he was interacting with Fortuna with his posture bowed low. Seeing this brawny man direct unsparing respect toward Fortuna inspired pride in the peeking Emilia. 

The awesome person making this big man grovel is my Mother, she thought. 

Man: “And now, while I recognize I ask on each occasion... how is the seal?” 

Emilia had puffed her chest out in her misdirected bragging, but the moment the man voiced this change in topic, that sentiment violently dispersed. That was how complex and grave the emotion the man had spoken with was. 

Fortuna: “You're just a worrier—isn't any way to dismiss this. Don't worry, it's stable as ever. There isn't even a million in one chance it could come undone. —I wouldn't be able to show my face to my brother or sister in law again.” 

Man: “It is an incredible regret, about your elder brother and his spouse.” 

Fortuna: “...My brother'd surely been resolved. Though I still don't know what my sister in law thought. But I do understand the weight of the responsibility trusted to me. I don't want to abandon that, or leave it only done at half-measures. And aren't you the same?” 

Man: “I... I am one incapable of anything else. I suspect it different from the sentiments of duty, or of responsibility that you bear, Fortuna-sama. Obsession, attachment... perhaps in that vicinity.” 

The man gave a breathy laugh. Fortuna watched on, pained. But that little exchange held no significance for Emilia. 

—It is an incredible regret, about your elder brother and his spouse. What could it mean? 

Mother Fortuna's brother was Emilia's father. And his spouse meant his bride. His wife. Probably Emilia's mother. What could 'those two are a regret' mean? Why, after hearing it, did Fortuna not ask this? 

Emilia held on to the branches, sticking out her neck and straining her eyes as she attempted to get a little closer to hear their conversation. Still unawares that the minor spirits' blessings rendered her actions pointless, Emilia grit her teeth with her expression frantic, insistent not to miss even a single syllable of their talk. 

Fortuna: “The impetus has nothing to do with the good virtue of the deed. What you're doing is something you ought brag to everybody about. It's actually sooo frustrating that you can't go around openly talking about it.” 

Man: “Huhuhuhu. Your commendations humble me. However, that indeed would be onerous. Should the world learn the true purposes of our deeds, I suspect that stable society would again submerge into a sea of chaos. Neither you nor I, nor most importantly she, would desire that.” 

Fortuna: “...Yes, you're right.” 

Fortuna nodded in agreement. It seemed the topic had diverged from what Emilia wanted to hear, and the conversation proceeded to transform into some harmless, idle chattering. The two groups finished exchanging goods over the course of Fortuna and the man's talk. One of the adults called out to Fortuna, who replied with a nod before turning back the man. 

Fortuna: “The spirits' blessing keeps the changing of seasons from affecting the forest very much, but... it's still a huge help that we're getting these clothes, even these beds. Thank you.” 

Man: “You are persons who truly deserve greater cordiality, with your achievements. It is inconceivable that you be forced into inconvenience in such this a place.” 

Fortuna: “Don't say such this a place. We love the forest.” 

Fortuna spoke somewhat jokingly, a small smile arising on her face. A slight grin etched itself over the man's expression as well, and for a period, an atmosphere of calm flowed between the two. When— 

???:  “Cardinal. We have concluded in delivering luggages and preparing our return. Please make haste.” 

Man: “Yes, understood.” 

One of the black-robes so addressed the man, who glanced over the village, seemingly reluctant to part. He then bowed to Fortuna. She and the other adults put their hands to their chests, their actions directed at the group of black-robes, closing their eyes as they answered with a bow. The group of black-robes turned their backs, pulling their wagons into motion as they departed— with the man standing as the last of the procession. 

Man: “Right, I absolutely must ask you this.” 

Fortuna: “...” 

The man turned back around with his finger raised. Fortuna wordlessly urged him to continue. After closing his eyes once, his gaze then seeming to peer into the depths of the forest, 

Man: “—Has Emilia-sama been in health?” 

Emilia: “—hk” 

After hearing this man speak her own name, Emilia's throat unwittingly jarred. It was thanks to the sigh she had sighed immediately prior that she had not shrieked instead. Thankfully deaf to Emilia's slight noise and ignoring it entirely, Fortuna slowly nodded to the man. 

Fortuna: “Don't worry. Emilia's full of energy, and is growing up as a good girl. Such a good girl she's wasted on me. ...But, I apologise. Her meeting you isn't something we can...” 

Man: “Nothing more would I need to hear. I do understand. Provided I may confirm Emilia-sama's good health, that alone is enough. To wish for any further would be a desire beyond the place of this sinner.” 

Fortuna: “...” 

Self-deprecation, or more actually self-adomition? Whichever it was, Fortuna responded with no simple consolations. He raised his head, his expression suggesting that Fortuna's silence was actually a relief for him. Silently, each gazed at the other. 

???: “Would there be something the matter, Cardinal? —Cardinal Romanée-Conti.” 

One of the black-cloaks returned from the group which had proceeded onward and left the man behind. The man spread his arms in response. 

Man: “There is nothing the matter. Now, allow us departure. Fortuna-sama, may our next meeting be soon.” 

Fortuna: “Always, thank you. ...I'm sorry, Juice.” 

Smiling slightly at Fortuna's final words, the man called Juice this time assuredly went to leave the forest alongside the black-cloaks. After watching over their departure until they disappeared from view, Fortuna's shoulders slumped and she gave a sigh. She then clapped her hands, grabbing the attention of everybody present. 

Fortuna: “Now, let's quickly bring the luggage in and partition it up. We'll have the divisioning done as always, please. I'm off to go bring Emilia out.” 

Emilia: “—!” 

Seeing the adults and children shoulder the luggage and start moving just as Fortuna instructed, Emilia tumbled out of the tree and sprinted with all her might to return to the Princess Room. She twisted her small body through the gap in the tree-roots that she had used to escape, sustaining scrapes and cuts here and there. Immediately after returning to the room, Emilia noticed that this was not the appearance of a girl who had been waiting patiently, and was dumbstruck. 

Emilia had thought until just a moment ago that even if Fortuna discovered she had gone outside and scolded her, she would immediately forgive Emilia so long as she reflected and apologized for it. But now that she had overheard that conversation, Emilia could not manage to possibly think so optimistically. In fact, she inevitably had to feel that the talk had been one Fortuna would not want Emilia exclusively to have heard. 

Emilia: “What do I do, whatdoIdowhatdoIdowhatdoIdo” 

It would not be long at all before Mother Fortuna returned and removed the bar on the door. Should she come under the light, Emilia's appearance would quickly inform Fortuna of her escape. Young Emilia came to believe Fortuna's potential discovery that Emilia had heard the conversation as tantamount to her absolute ruin. 

Emilia: “If I can at least hide the grazes...” 

She was scratched here and there, her knees and arms scraped all over, oozing with some blood. It was unlikely that sharp-eyed Fortuna would overlook them, and it felt that it would seep into the water when she took her bath, and that was scary too. I have to do something! was the single notion she focused on. 

Emilia: “—Huh? 

And so when the pale-blue lights appeared inside the Princess Room again, Emilia considered their glow as a pathway to rescue. The lights wavered to and fro in Emilia's sight, and after toying with her attention with their motions, the lights this time scattered themselves toward Emilia. 

Emilia: “—a, ah.” 

Just like how they had been sucked into the wall before, the lights this time were sucked into Emilia's body. They amassed at the sites of her cuts and scraps, their dim gleam painting her open wounds in white—and after the lights disappeared, all that remained of the grazes was a faint redness. 

Emilia: “—” This abnormal happening, done to her own body, led Emilia to stiffen wordless and rigid. The wounds on her elbows, knees, and elsewhere had vanished to nothing, as had their pain. Emilia's present condition was identical to how she had been prior to escaping. 

Emilia quickly threw off her clothes and changed into another outfit which was inside the Princess Room. After troubling over how to dispose of her torn, holey clothes, Emilia: “With this...!” She overturned her pottle of drawing ink, messily staining her old clothes. It was just when she had  dirtied her outfit so greatly that even a wash would not remove the pigment that, Fortuna: “—Emilia? Are you up?” Hearing Fortuna's voice call from beyond the door, Emilia jerked up straight. 

Her heart pounded violently at the hairs-breadth timing, and although intending to reply to her with something, she could not get any voice out. Fortuna: “Emilia? You're sleeping?” Emilia: “I-I'm up! I'm awake, Mother Fortuna. But, it's...” 

Fortuna: “What, so you were up. I'm sorry for making you wait so...” Relieved to hear Emilia's reply, Fortuna removed the bar across the door as she entered the room. Fortuna was smiling, but the moment she entered the room her expression shifted, and her pretty nose scrunched up. 

Fortuna: “...What is this? It reeks of ink.” Emilia: “Ermm... I'm sorry. I spilled my drawing ink lots... lots got on my clothes.” Emilia stood before the ink pottle fallen in the middle of the room, entirely puzzled on what to do. 

After looking between Emilia and the ink bottle, Fortuna put her hand to her face. Fortuna: “Oh, geez.” Fortuna: “Well, nothing to do about that. Thank goodness I left a change of clothes in here. If I  hadn't, I'd have to bring you back home with you naked.” Emilia: “Um, Mother Fortuna... I...” Fortuna: “It's alright, Emilia. You don't need to be afraid, I know you didn't mean to do it and I  won't be mad with you. And more importantly, are you unhurt?” 

After matching her eye-level with the timidly-approaching Emilia, Fortuna inspected her beloved daughter from head to toe. She sighed in relief at the lack of visible wounds, and quietly hugged her. 

Emilia: “Mother?” 

Fortuna: “It's nothing. Just, I... missed you sooo much. I'm so sorry. Let's stay like this for a moment.” 

Still hugging Emilia, Fortuna brought her cheek near. Fortuna usually avoided such embarrassing, mushy behaviours. Emilia thought this action horrifically unusual, and thought Fortuna rather lonely. And so, 

Fortuna: “...Cheeky.” 

Muttered Fortuna, who opened her eye as Emilia stroked her short, silver hair. But Emilia judged that Fortuna was not telling her to stop, and so she slowly, quietly, continued to pat Fortuna's head kindly. 

There were so many things she wanted to ask her. But young Emilia lacked in too much and knew of too little for her to be able to put them into words. She proceeded, saying nothing. 

Fortuna: “Emilia.” 

Emilia: “...mm.” 

Fortuna gazed at Emilia as she continued to quietly stroke her head, and narrowed her eyes. Emilia saw—in those eyes of amethyst equal to hers, the arisen teardrops. Alongside her blinking the tears flowed down, dripped off Fortuna's cheek. She went without even wiping them away as she smiled at Emilia. 

Fortuna: “—I love you.” 

There were so many things she wanted to ask, wanted to know. —But for this moment, Emilia determined herself satisfied with just this one statement from her mother. 

※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※ 

Dragging her legs, with pale-blue lights floating around her, Emilia traverses the darkness. 

Her exhaustion robs her of the strength to walk, causing her legs to drag. But her will remains healthy and will not permit Emilia stop walking as she yet continues on. 

Memories of her childhood, skimming through her mind. Why was she remembering this past now? 

The past Emilia saw in the TRIAL differed slightly from what she had just remembered. The past she remembered happened just a little earlier than the events shown in her TRIAL. If she could return to that time—surely, she'd be able to do everything in that past over differently. 

Emilia: “Mother, Fortuna...” 

Kind, warm, strong Fortuna remained even now as Emilia's ideal in women. She had always wanted to be like Mother Fortuna, to act being as like Mother Fortuna. And despite that she always worried and regretted over little things, feared them, and beckoned in consequences beyond any repair. 

Emilia: “ue... heu, hk...” 

Consequences beyond any repair. Unassailable anguish races through Emilia's chest at the thought. This sorrow and this regret and this pain, this jumble of emotion overwhelms her, her foolishness and insufficiency so embarrassing that she comes close to tears. 

She's always like this. She'll always be like this. She was frantic, desperate, putting in her all, meaning to cut no corners in the least, but still Emilia's hands never grasped the things she truly desired, or even touched them. Even the things she was supposed to have had, the things that her hands were supposed to have clutched, fell like sand through the gaps in her fingers, enchanting Emilia with their transient glimmer before disappearing to nothing. 

It was like that with Fortuna, with Puck, with Subaru, all of them. 

Emilia: “It's... my fault. I'm a bad girl. I can't even follow instructions, and so... everybody...” 

Sobs pouring from her throat, Emilia drags her feet on. Amid this abundance of green, sluggish and slow, but still proceeding onward. 

Emilia: “And so everybody, always hid it from me, kept it... but, no. If I never knew, never learned, never noticed... It'd be so much better, and still... and still...” 

Amongst a forest of trees. Lights and their pale blue gleam. Black-robed men. Mother Fortuna. Snake, large and black. Closed door. Snow. World of white. Silver snowscape. Ending, world ending. Father, mother. 

Emilia: “I...” 

The endless vortex of words races through her head. Battered around in their wake, Emilia raises her head, and walks onward. 

Emilia: “—” 

Frail voice. Faltering gait. —But eyes wet with not a single tear.