Sasami-san @ Ganbaranai - Volume 3 - Chapter 5

VOLUME 3

Chapter 5: Behind the Door

I knew all I was doing was buying myself some time.

My brother might’ve been an idiot, but the Yagami sisters were not to be trifled with… they would probably find a way to guess my plans and break through the trap, making their way into my room.

“Of course, the best case scenario would be for them to just not realize anything and end up going home…”

In my heart of hearts, I did want to ask everyone for help.

I wanted to see them, talk about my problems, and then reach some kind of solution.

After all, I was weak and needed the help of others.

But that’s why, to make sure this weak, dependent part of myself didn’t accidentally conjure up an alteration that would bring my brother and the others here, I had already cut that part of myself off and customized it into “Tsukuyomi Sasami’s dere side.”

Like this, I should be able to defend against unforeseen events to some degree.

“One… two… one… two…”

I opened the door to my room (the one with a large sign on it which read “To those who plan to break into my room: Cursed be you all. -Tsukuyomi Sasami”) and began to drag my unconscious brother and the three unconscious Yagami sisters one by one into my room.

Everyone had his or her eyes shut as they were all sleeping.

I was never very physically strong (and, for various reasons, right now I couldn’t move my body as well as normal), so it was really tough carrying these people into my room, but with the help of some alterations, I managed.

My brother and the others were really worried for me and had come to help me.

I knew that all too well.

But… I also had to try my very best.

@@@@@@

“Phew.”

Even though it was winter, I had broken out into a sweat. I wiped my forehead while lining these four bodies up on my bed.

Not a single one of them seemed to recognize where they were though.

Even with the full strength of the Supreme God, it was difficult to affect the Yagami sisters with an alteration.

However, there was one other time in the past when these seemingly invincible girls had been robbed of their powers and rendered relatively harmless.

That was the time of the Yamata no Orochi SNS incident.

During that incident, all our psyches had been separated from our bodies, and none of us could use our divine abilities as we wished.

What I had done here was very similar to what had happened then.

The instant they had broken through the Ama-no-Iwato, everyone was busy dealing with the resultant shockwave.

So, I had used that little gap to separate their psyches from their bodies.

I left their bodies as is, but threw their psyches into a few dolls I had made.

These were the dolls which looked like younger versions of themselves.

If they were in kid’s bodies, then they would be immature and inexperienced; it would be hard for them to move around, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they lost the ability to use any of their spiritual powers. Sounds reasonable, right?

And then, it was just a matter of not letting them realize that their psyches had been separated from their true bodies.

To do this, I would continue to throw impossible problems and riddles at them and force them to play a game they would never be able to win.

When they failed, I would also give them the option of retrying. I assumed they would get desperate and hotheaded and try the game over and over and over again.

Or maybe they would give up at some point and go home.

I didn’t care which one ended up happening.

At any rate, while they were busy with their “game,” I would be free to carry out my plans.

“Umm…”

I gulped and went over to one particular person on my bed…

Over to Tama. I picked up one of her soft, flawless arms.

“Tama is a next-generation god, and so, she can consume the older-generation gods.”

She could eat and absorb any of the gods who wielded authority right now… she was a predator who could ignore all the rules and make everything her own.

“If there’s one being who could gouge a hole in… even kill the person who has the power of the Supreme God… it’s Tama.”

So, I chose Tama’s arm as my lethal weapon, and pointed it towards my own body.

I wasn’t planning to die here.

But this was definitely a plan that needed a lot of determination.

“Before everyone else figures out the game they’re playing or accidentally clears it and charges into this room… I have to do something about this body.”

If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to look them in the face.

I’m sure they would just worry and ask me a lot of annoying, prying questions… but in the end, I doubted any of them could do anything about this.

All that would happen is that I would end up piling my problems on them, things would get awkward, and they would go out of their way to keep me happy.

I would rather die than face that.

“Okay… on three…”

My face paled as I held Tama’s arm up and prepared to bring it down on myself.

“Theoretically, a next-generation god can eat even the Supreme God from the old generation. It’s like when the wolf Fenrir killed Odin by eating him… I’ll be okay. This will work. One… two…”

@@@@@@

It was the end of a civilization.

They were sweeping over the land with their overwhelming power, and as the new, proud conquerors of the world, they were killing countless humans in the blink of an eye.

The war had spread like a massive forest fire, and this peaceful little town had already fallen prey to the evil.

They showed no mercy, even if their opponents were normal people.

Killing humans was like squashing a bug to them. They felt nothing.

In their eyes, humanity itself was nothing more than garbage lying at the roadside.

“Please stand up to their overwhelming cruelty, struggle through their frightening weaponry, and send me safely to school.”

“Wait please.”

Kagami reached out and tried to stop the young me from walking forwards.

But, she remembered that this young me was like a ghost and couldn’t be touched, so she just sighed with an exhausted look on her face.

“This is… clearly strange…”

The score KG(-)12035 was displayed above her head.

“I have no idea what’s going on…”

Her Sasami Points were in a terrifyingly rapid freefall, and her prospects of clearing this game were very depressing at this point.

By the way, Kagami’s score was still relatively high… everyone else’s score was already (-)99999. Of course, this was just because the digital display didn’t go past five digits. In reality, their scores were probably even more dreadful.

“Kagami-nee~…”

Even the innocent, naïve Tama looked a bit stumped.

“Tama is tireeed… aren’t we done yeeeett~~?”

The four of them were in a normal-looking residential district, but there were round and cigar-shaped UFOs flying through the sky, which were continuously sending down what looked like giant insect monsters awkwardly walking on two legs. The aliens were also shooting extremely destructive laser guns.

A house burst into flame and evaporated nearby… but Tama just grumbled.

“Tama is booorreeed… Tama is going home!”

“Just be patient for a bit longer, Tama-chan.”

Tsurugi gripped Tama’s hand tightly with a worried expression on her face.

Now that the Yagami sisters were elementary schoolers, they couldn’t use any special abilities and couldn’t fight very well either.

They had no choice but to just try and follow the rules of the game, but there was very little they could actually accomplish. They were just continuously tossed around by the game, and were closing in on total exhaustion.

“That’s right, Tama-san. We’re here to save Sasami-san.”

My brother seemed to be able to motivate himself on that point alone, and he was still one of the more energetic players.

“All we can do is try to build up Sasami Points before that young Sasami-san over there reaches her school. But, this game is strange… it started out as a quiz game, but now it’s slowly turning into a shounen alien invasion manga…”

“In any case, it seems that we can earn Sasami Points by defeating these alien-like creatures.”

Kagami had picked up one of the insect people’s laser guns somewhere and shot down a UFO with it.

“It seems that we receive 200 points for shooting down a UFO… hm, we should try to do things that Sasami-san would want us to do, or things that would make her happy in order to obtain Sasami Points. In that case, if we exterminate some of these insect people that are blocking her path to school, then we should be able to earn more points.”

But the aliens weren’t about to ignore the fact that one of their UFOs had been shot down.

The insect people let out a shriek high enough to crack glass before coming at Kagami with their strong arms swinging. Kagami’s body was completely torn up.

Ironically, she had been torn up like a small insect by a human.

The elementary schooler, Kagami, was now in pieces.

“I died again…”

Kagami’s corpse vanished, while a healthy, spotless Kagami appeared once again at the young me’s side.

In this game, you would revive no matter how many times you died.

“Death subtracts 10000 points from your score. This game is impossible.”

“This is too mean! It’s not fair!”

Tama rubbed her eyes as she began to cry.

“Mamarin doesn’t want to see Tama. Mamarin hates Tama!”

Tama looked much younger now, so her sorrowful pleas were much sadder than usual.

“She locked herself in, then made this Ama-no-Iwato thing, and now she’s making us play this bad game so we get sad and go home! That’s so mean, Mamarin! Tama and the others are just worried… we just want to see you happy!”

Kagami hung her head at her little sister’s mournful screams.

She was always so calm and emotionless, but it seemed she might’ve also reached her limit.

“Sasami-san!”

Her young, round eyes filled with tears as she glared at the young me.

“I’ll never give up!”

As the young me just continued to simply walk towards school through all that wanton destruction, Kagami picked up another laser gun and fired blindly at the enemy.

“You’ve made this hellish, hopeless game for us, but no matter how unfair it might be, I’ll get through it and clear it, even if it takes me an eternity! No matter how many times I die, no matter how much it hurts, I’ll never give up and go home!”

–

“… Why?”

–

The young me suddenly muttered that.

It seems that Kagami’s strong emotions had genuinely reached this part of me.

“Why are you willing to go so far? Being forced to play this impossible, mean-spirited game for the sake of an ungrateful girl who won’t even show her real face to you… why do you want to meet with her so much? I hope you realize that meeting that girl is the only thing you’ll get through this game.”

Even if she beat the one in a million odds to clear this painful game, the only thing waiting for her at the other end was me.

Did she want to meet me so she could yell at me?

Maybe she wanted to punch me and tell me to stop screwing with her?

“Because we’re worried for you.”

The one who answered was my brother, who had also picked up a laser gun like Kagami.

“Because we can’t watch as someone who always works so hard tries to deal with such a heavy burden all by herself. Because someone who is usually so spoiled and pampered is trying to fight something alone and rejecting all help from others. All of that makes us worry.”

Tama and Tsurugi also ran up.

Even the usually good-natured Tama and Tsurugi were probably starting to get fed up with this game.

But I had a feeling that beyond that, they were also trying to do all this for my sake.

Even though they weren’t any stronger than a normal person, they fought through their tears and challenged this unfair, cruel game that the Supreme God had fashioned for them.

It was a beautiful sight.

It was enough to touch the heart of someone who had decided to shut everyone out.

“Why?”

The young me just stood there, stock-still, and began to tremble.

“Why? Why? Why?”

I repeated that like a broken computer.

A broken computer which had just tried to load a program it didn’t understand.

“Worry? Why? Because you’re family? Because you’re friends? You’re just acting out of a sense of duty, right? In reality, you want to go back, right? Or you’re actually angry at me for this prank, so in order to meet with me you’re just acting nice…”

“Stop grumbling all that nonsense.”

Kagami led the way and beckoned to the young me.

“Let’s go. To your place.”

Kagami said that with a beatiful, human expression on her face, one filled with both sadness and anger.

“Of course I’m angry. Let me just ask you one question: why won’t you believe in us? It doesn’t matter what secret you might be hiding, or how heavy the burden is that you might be carrying right now. Why are you trying to drive us away instead of letting us help you carry your burdens, carry your sins… that’s what I am angry about. Of course I am angry about that!”

Flames seemed to dance in Kagami’s eyes as she shouted.

“’Why,’ you ask? Because I’m worried about you, of course! Because we’re friends! Please do not make me spell it out word for word for you. It’s because I love you! Please believe me and let me see you… I want to see Sasami-san…!”

Kagami collapsed to the ground, her hands covering both her eyes.

Seeing that…

I couldn’t take it anymore.

–

“U. Uuu… uuuuuu…”

–

The young me began to tremble, hair in disarray and feet rooted to the spot.

At the same time, the war raging on around them froze, as if someone had pushed the pause button on a remote.

The UFOs soaring to and fro, the insect people, the laser beams flying through the air… it all stopped.

And in that frozen world, the young me began to cry.

Tears began to fall to the ground as I looked at Kagami.

“… Can I believe you?”

Those words came right from the heart and echoed my true desires.

“The situation is not pretty beyond those doors. If you meet me as I am now, then everyone will be disillusioned. You will end up hating me. That’s what I believed… but even though you’ve gone through so much pain here, why won’t you go back? Kagami… everyone… you’re all being so…”

It was at that moment.

At that moment, I was defeated.

“I… I love you all too… I want to meet you, to hear your voices, to be together with you all… but I’m scared that you won’t like me anymore!”

A fanfare of trumpets rang through the air.

It was like a tune announcing the possibility for a huge comeback win at the end of a game show.

The digital counter displayed above Kagami’s head began to spin with great force… the astronomically negative score disappeared and was replaced with a positive number.

There must’ve been thousands… millions of points added to her score in one go.

Watching these events unfold, Tsurugi softly walked up to Kagami and began to mutter to her.

“Kagami-chan, were you expecting this to happen?”

She had quite a proud look on her face.

“That elementary schooler version of Sasami-chan is her dere part… it was changed through an alteration into being a lot more robotic, but all of Sasami-chan’s affections towards us were hidden somewhere underneath. Did you say all those awfully embarrassing things so you could get right through to that hidden part and score us massive points?”

“I am a manipulative schemer, after all.”

Kagami wiped her eyes, looking a bit frustrated that the tears were still coming despite her best efforts.

“An impossible game… this game is a manifestation of Sasami-san’s wish to see nobody in her room. In that case, the best way to proceed is to shake the foundations of that very desire. We just have to make that idiot realize that it is okay to trust us.”

Kagami said that in a pretty curt tone, but…

“Well, everything worked out, so I am satisfied. I can feel my tongue rotting through from saying things that I really didn’t mean. That Sasami-san, taking up so much of our time…”

@@@@@@

One… two……… three!

I brought Tama’s god-eating arm down towards my body.

It was at that moment.

–

“Okay, that’s quite enough of that.”

–

Suddenly, I heard a voice.

At the same time, I felt someone grabbing me and pulling me towards them from behind.

… Who was it?

“You moooron. Didn’t I tell you not to push yourself? But here you are goin’ off an’ trying to put each and every little damn thing on yourself. Trying to act cool and stuff and pretending everything’s okay? Tch, as if anything’s okay, idiot.”

I heard a voice behind me speaking in pretty sketchy, masculine Japanese.

It was a sweet voice, but it was also the most dependable voice in the world.

“Tsu… rugi…?”

Rather startled, I turned to check who was holding onto me.

“Yup. It’s me.”

And this wasn’t the bugged-out Tsurugi I had seen earlier… it was the normal, cheeky, arrogant midget sensei I was used to.

She held me in a gentle embrace, stopping me from doing something rash with Tama’s arm.

“Brats like you should stop thinking you can pull one over on the adults. Well, you did bring my body in here nice and easy for me, so I guess I gotta give my thanks. I’ve been borrowing your body for a bit, but all that’s left is putting my heart into that body there, and then it’ll be like whoosh! Tsurugi-chan revival!”

“W-What is going on?”

I had no idea what was going on.

Borrowing my body, she said?

“Well, I’ll explain everything later. More importantly… looks like I didn’t have to come all the way out here. I’d cover my ears for a sec.”

“Huh? Huhhh?”

My eyes darted back and forth around my room in confusion.

–

“Sorry for the intrusion.”

–

After that polite greeting, a huge explosion blew my door off its hinges, like someone had hooked up a block of C4 to it.

My room was really big though, so the wind from the explosion thankfully didn’t reach my bed.

But what the hell?!

I saw someone emerge from that dense smoke, looking like she had just come back from war…

It was the lovable, young version of Kagami. She was quickly followed by my brother, Tsurugi, and then Tama.

Everyone looked like an elementary schooler.

Kagami spoke proudly as she fiddled with her hair.

“My my, it seems we have finally arrived. It was nice and all that we earned so many Sasami Points, but then that young Sasami-san started sobbing and we could not move her, so we were at a bit of a loss…”

I had stopped paying attention to the game for a while, so I had no idea what she was talking about.

“I’m quite disappointed in how much you underestimated us, Sasami-san. That dere part of Sasami-san was a part of you… she wasn’t completely cut off from you, thus she still retained a connection to you.”

Also, this normal Tsurugi that was here with me might’ve been sending them some kind of signal.

A signal telling them that I was here, or something like that.

“The only thing we had to do was follow that connection and find our way here. This body is quite difficult to use though, so it was slow-going.”

While she said that, the child version of Kagami walked up to her body on the bed, and through a strong force of will, took her original body back.

The young Kagami crumbled to the ground powerlessly.

“Hm.”

Kagami clenched and unclenched her fists to test them out before she yawned.

“Funyaa. As expected, this body is still the most fitting. The sleepiness is a bit troubling, though.”

“Kagami is a spiritual robot… her body is a doll that was made by that evil organization, so I bet she was quick to realize something was up with her body and could get a handle on things.”

Tsurugi put her arms around the young Kagami and held her with a somewhat sketchy look on her face.

“Fufufu, well, Kagami has looked the same since I met her, so it’s pretty fresh to see her look like an elementary schooler… makes me feel kinda hot.”

“Why does that make you feel hot? That goes beyond disgusting and into the realm of just plain terrifying.”

At that point, Kagami seemed to finally realize that there were two Tsurugis in the room, and she gave a start.

“H-Hmm? Neesan…? You’re neesan… right?”

“Yo.”

Tsurugi scratched her cheeks, seeming a bit annoyed by the situation.

“Ah… well, looks like stuff got a bit complicated. I’ll explain everything nice and easy later. But for now, wanna give me a ‘welcome back’ kiss?”

“Ahh, yes, you are certainly neesan. I suppose not even death is a cure for stupidity.”

Kagami ignored her older sister who was jutting out her lips in an inviting gesture. She let out a sigh.

“Sensei, Tama… please return back to your original bodies as well.”

“Ehh…”

Tama didn’t seem very happy, stomping her feet.

“Tama likes being small! Tama is an elementary schooler, so she should be small!”

It was rare to see Tama being so defiant.

But I guess to an elementary schooler, the beautiful body Tsurugi had used to house the next-generation Supreme God was a bit too much to handle.

It seemed that Tama had quite a complex about it.

“That body is nothing but a doll. It is unfit to be the body of a god for the next generation.”

Kagami spoke candidly.

“And, if you are not a god of the next generation, then there is no value in your existence. At the very least, there would be no more benefit for us to protect you… you would no longer be part of our family, but would be an outsider. So, please choose, Tama. Do you want to be a normal, small elementary schooler, or do you want to be part of our family?”

“U-Uu…? Tama wouldn’t be family anymore…?”

Tama’s eyes welled up with tears as she reluctantly walked over to her body.

After she had returned to the normal huge Tama, she pulled Kagami into a tight embrace.

“Tama doesn’t want that, Kagami-nee. Tama is Tsurugi-nee and Kagami-nee’s little sister.”

“… Good girl, Tama. Even if you’re big, even if you’re different from the other children, I will love you nonetheless.”

In a rare display of kindness, Kagami stroked Tama on her back.

@@@@@@

“Now then.”

Kagami glared at me while still in Tama’s embrace.

By the way, as soon as the girls had barged into my room, I had covered myself with my futon and was cowering alongside my wall.

I couldn’t show them what I looked like.

“Sasami-san. Would you please explain the situation to us now? I would like to know whether this big farce actually had a point to it. What was your reason for chasing us away, even after we came to see you out of pure worry for you? I may not forgive you depending on your answer.”

I resigned myself after seeing that scary expression on Kagami’s face, and turned to look at her.

However, I really didn’t know how to explain things.

“Don’t sound so critical, Kagami. I’m sure she has her reasons.”

Tsurugi looked quite pleased with herself as she added the young Kagami and Tama (now both empty shells) to her collection, and just said the first random thing that popped into her head.

“A picture’s worth a thousand words, right? So c’mon, show us your face.”

Tsurugi came over with an exasperated look in her eyes and tore off my futon.

I had finally been exposed.

“……” “……” “……” “……”

Nobody could say a word.

Seeing no more hope for escape, I plopped myself down.

–

Let me try to express the situation in objective terms.

For example, suppose I was a god looking down from above, or a reader with a full view of the story.

And in that story, there was a lump of meat.

A big, soft, flabby lump of meat.

Well, no… if you squint your eyes really hard, you would finally realize that this lump of meat was actually a person.

It had hands, feet, and even though they were squashed by layers and layers of fat, it had eyes and a nose and a mouth as well.

My pajamas were almost bursting from housing my swelling body and just moving that body around took most of my strength.

I had timidly put myself on a scale, and found that I was around 250 kilograms heavy.

I was violently chubby.

Completely, completely fat.

–

Everyone’s eyes were centered on me.

“Umm…”

I felt dizzy and my vision clouded with tears. I had reached my limit, so I just spat everything out.

“When I woke up, I was like this… and I couldn’t ask anybody about it. I tried to go back to normal by using an alteration, but I couldn’t. I thought everyone would hate me when they saw me this fat, that oniichan would abandon me. So I… and…”

I burst into tears.

“I didn’t know what to do! I wanted to just have some time to think and wanted to believe this was all some kind of mistake, but you all had to come over and try to barge in here! Can’t you think a bit about how I feel?! Go away! Just go away! It’s not like you can do anything about this, right?! Now that you know, it’s not like you have any bright ideas, right?! So just… just…!!”

“Umm…”

Kagami asked a question with complete seriousness.

“You’re Sasami-san, right…? You look more like just a lump of meat though…”

I felt hurt at those words, and once again, I pulled my futon over my head.

Kagami didn’t seem to know what to do, but tried to reassure me.

“Umm, please calm down, Sasami-san. You can’t get that way overnight, so I’m sure this is some mistake… or no, probably some irregularity, or some strange disease…”

Kagami shook me with all her might from the other side of the futon.

“I see. Sasami-san wouldn’t see anybody because her body was like this… I understand how you might feel, but please don’t overlook us, Sasami-san. W-We’re friends, right? I wish you would’ve talked to us about this sooner.”

“Kagami…”

I sniffled, and clung onto the hand that Kagami had held out to me.

I had a feeling that Kagami would say something like that… but I was still afraid.

This is the first time something like this had happened to me.

I didn’t know how other people might react to me, and so I unconsciously rejected everyone else and made the Ama-no-Iwato… I was a fool.

“Well, don’t worry. I can explain that.”

Tsurugi pointed at me, not seeming too pleased with this situation.

“Looks like stuff got more complicated… but everything is that Tsukuyomi priestess’s fault. Sasami-san’s mom, I mean. Well, I guess that doesn’t really clear anything up. But let’s just say that there’s something we still have to do… so if you would just follow me for a bit…”

Tsurugi smiled and thrust her finger at my forehead.

Like her finger was the tip of a sword.

At that moment, I felt a heavy drowsiness fill my body…

“I’ll be sure to explain everything, and then we can decide what to do.”

Only Tsurugi’s voice rang like a ray of sunlight through the darkness.

“Don’t try to handle everything by yourself. This isn’t your fault at all.”

Her words sank deep into me, enveloping me in kindness.

And then, this mess we had gotten ourselves into gave birth to the beginning of another story.