Slayers - Volume 9 - Chapter 1

1: Magic Sword, Where Art Thou?

Clink.

The sword broke with a high-pitched—and extremely underwhelming—sound.

“Huh?” Gourry remarked in surprise, right as...

“Whaaaat?!” the tour guide shrieked, then promptly laid into us with a mix of anger and dismay. “I beg your pardon! You’re going to have to pay for breaking our legendary sword!”

“You want us to pay for that?! What kind of ‘legendary sword’ breaks the second someone bumps into it?!” I barked back.

“Mmgh?!” At this, the man’s face went pale. “That’s, er... That’s part of the legend!”

“The hell it is!”

Kracka-pow! My rage-fueled corkscrew punch slammed hard into the guide’s face.

Ah, legendary weapons. To name just the famous ones, there was the Dark Lord’s Hungry Bone Staff; Ceifeed’s Flare Dragon Sword; the Elemekia Blade, which could cut through astral objects while leaving corporeal ones unscathed; the Blast Sword, which could cleave a deimos dragon... Man, I could go on all day.

That said, about the only magic blades you might come across in the day-to-day were ordinary swords jazzed up with a few jeweled amulets. The honest-to-goodness legendary kind ain’t exactly a dime a dozen.

But rumors about them? Now, those things are freakin’ everywhere. You know how it goes. Somewhere sealed away in a cave, stashed in some citadel of evil, held by a nice lady lake spirit until you throw a normal sword in... Yada, yada, yada.

Still, the award for “hoariest legendary sword cliche of all” had to go to the ole stuck-in-a-rock, whoever-pulls-it-out-gets-to-keep-it tall tale. What sucked the most about this particular version was the fact that the boonies were crawling with swords stuck in rocks. They were guaranteed to be 100 percent bogus, of course, as someone from a nearby village had usually planted them there.

Why would anyone do that, you ask? Why else? Tourism bucks! Just find yourself some fancy sword, fix it into a rock, and wait for the suckers to roll in. Generally the ringleaders of these little scams were satisfied with a roundabout upswing in the local sightseeing economy, but the lowest of the low would also charge a fee to see the sword and then a surcharge per tug.

So, no surprise that’s exactly the racket Gourry and I had stumbled into in this village.

“Darn it... It’s not like they’d bamboozled me into thinking it was actually legendary, but still! Really gets my goat that it wasn’t just a false rumor, but some village’s cheap-ass moneymaking scheme. And that I actually put money into it, even if it was just pocket change...”

After I’d socked out the guide, Gourry and I had returned to town, where I was currently scarfing down a steamed chicken lunch special.

“Hey, no big deal. It’s not like we’re in a hurry,” Gourry responded breezily from across the table as he tore into his salmon sauté.

“Are you kidding me?! This is your sword we’re replacing, you know?!” I shouted back.

That’s right. Gourry and I were presently on a quest to find him a new magical monster-carver. The big lug might be a zero in the brains department, but he turned it up to eleven when it came to swordsmanship. He used to wield the Sword of Light, a kick-ass destroyer o’ demons, but he’d ended up losing it in a ruckus that I was kinda-sorta-basically the star of. Hence me currently chasing rumors all over tarnation, trying to find him a replacement.

“Even so, Lina... legendary swords don’t just grow on trees, right?”

“Exactly. Wouldn’t really be legendary if they did.”

“But can’t I just get by with an ordinary one?”

“How can you say that?!” I reached out and grasped Gourry’s fork hand as I gazed up at him with dewy eyes. “You know I think you’re an incredible swordsman, Gourry... but that doesn’t make you invincible.”

As I spoke, I leaned forward and used my free left hand to sneak a few morsels of his salmon sauté onto my plate.

“An ordinary sword would leave you helpless against any ghosts or demons we come across. Besides, you still fight like you have the Sword of Light... and it’s gonna give me a heart attack. Remember when we were fighting that sorcerer the other day and you cooked yourself toasty trying to cut through some Flare Arrows with just a sword hilt?”

“Can’t say I do, actually.”

Sheesh... He’d forgotten already?

I let out a momentous sigh, then said, “Point is, I’m not getting a halfway decent night’s sleep until I find you a halfway decent magical sword.”

“But can’t we just buy one instead of going to all this trouble? That magic shop we visited that one time had lots of swords and stuff.”

“C’mon, man. Those are just ordinary swords with talismans or amulets to enhance their edge. About the only supernatural baddies those’ll work on are the crummiest tier of ghosts. They certainly can’t cut through attack spells, and you can bet they won’t do squat against a pure demon. So if we really want to get you a sword worth its salt, we gotta search it out.”

“Don’t they sell ‘swords worth their salt’ in those kinds of shops?”

“Heck no! Even if they got one in stock, some noble or royal type would snatch it up in an instant. If we ever wanna get our mitts on one of those puppies, we’ll have to find it ourselves.”

“I see. Sounds rough.”

“Friendly reminder: this is your problem too,” I grumbled, and just then...

“Ooh! There you are!” came a deep voice from the door. I turned and saw an old man standing there alongside the guide I’d punched out in the mountains.

Wonder if they’re here to lecture us about their sword...

The two of them walked briskly up to us, and the old man lowered his voice, as if afraid of being overheard, to say, “Might you two be the ones who made a go at the sword out in the mountains earlier?”

“Yeah, why? Here to give us more grief for breaking your ‘legendary’ blade?” I said in a nasty tone, still smiling.

But the old man smiled right back, his own expression strained but ingratiating. “Perish the thought. Though this is related...” There, he took a seat next to me and continued in a hushed voice, “I’m the headman here, and as you can see, our village is very poor. It’s not on the main road, and it doesn’t have any special landmarks. That’s why we had to do it. You understand, don’t you?”

Aha. So he was copping to their “legend” being a fraud. This kinda sob story might work on any normal passerby, but the brilliant sorcerer-slash-swordsman Lina Inverse will never fall for such tripe! Okay, maybe the sorcerer-slash-swordsman bit wasn’t exactly relevant...

“So your village is poor, you say?” I threw back at him. “Yet you seem to be doing pretty well for yourself.”

“Erk?!”

“You got a right healthy glow for your age, and even though your clothes seem plain to the untrained eye, they’re made of quality material. Same goes for your guide there.”

“Geh!”

“Hrk!”

That comment drained the color from both men’s faces. Yep, called it... Five gets you ten these guys were lining their own pockets with the sword scam.

“W-Well, all that aside... we just wanted to refund what you paid to see and pull at the sword,” the headman offered as he produced a small leather purse and placed it on the table.

That’s a little too hefty to be a simple refund... I glared hard at the two of them. “Hang on a minute... this wouldn’t be what those in the business call ‘hush money,’ would it?”

“Er, you see, our village’s reputation would plummet if any... unfortunate... rumors got out, which we’d certainly like to avoid...”

“So you want us to look the other way while you go back to making bank off your hoax?”

“Bwuh! No, of course not! We’d never try that again!” the headman assured me, waving his hands frantically. Of course, the look in his eyes betrayed what he was really thinking: Crap! She’s onto me! “B-But this is all the money we have, so... Oh, I know!” he exclaimed, suddenly clapping his hands together. “If you’re still in need of a sword, I happen to know of a bona fide legend! I’ll tell you all about it in exchange for your... er, discretion?”

“A bona fide legend, eh?” I furrowed my brow at those clearly hollow words. No way was I gonna trust any leads fresh from the mouth of a proven snake oil salesman. “You sure this one’s not phony too?”

“You’d better believe it! Of course, I haven’t been to see the sword myself, but people are really talking about this one!”

“Hmm... Well, let’s have it, I guess.”

“Oh, thank you!” he said, immediately beaming with delight.

“A word of warning, though,” I added, pointing straight at him. “If I think it sounds dodgy... You know where I’m going with this, don’t you?”

“B-But of course!”

“Okay, then spill. Tell me about this so-called legend.”

“All right... If you go east until you hit the main road, then travel four or five days north, you’ll come to a town called Bezeld.”

“Uh-huh.”

“There’s a cave in the mountain there.”

A mountain cave, huh? I was already smelling fish.

“Deep in that cave, there’s a sword stuck into a rock...”

“This tripe again?!”

Ka-crash! My fury-powered fist smote the headman square in the face.

“Darn it... If you’re gonna make up a story, at least be creative about it...”

After I’d beaten the daylights out of the village headman for his lame, lousy lies and taken a huge surcharge out of his hush money offer, Gourry and I left the village in the dust. The sky out was clear and blue, the sunshine nice and warm. The main road was crowded with pedestrians and donkey carts coming and going.

We’d ended up empty-handed in regards to credible leads on magic weapons, but I couldn’t complain about a little good ol’ aimless wandering. Now if only some bandits with a big secret treasure stash would try to make a move on us, we’d be all set.

“Seriously though, what now, Lina?” Gourry asked as a wooded village came into view.

“Good question. I was thinking we oughta head for Bezeld.”

“Bezeld?” Gourry scowled at this. “That name sounds familiar...”

“You know, the town that the village con artist mentioned?”

“Ohh. Yeah, that’s right!” Gourry nodded in understanding, then scowled again. “But didn’t you say that was bogus?”

“I sure did. And it almost certainly is.”

Gourry cocked his head, unable to make sense of what I was saying. The birdsong continued as our conversation came to a silent halt for a time. Eventually, Gourry finally said, “I don’t think I get it... Why are we going to Bezeld then?”

“Honestly? Because I don’t have any better ideas.”

“Oh, c’mon...”

“Well, it’s not like we’re drowning in plausible-sounding legends. And whenever a good lead does come along, someone else has always gotten to the goods first. So even if the story is implausible, I figure we might as well follow up on it. The key is just to take things slow and easy, like this is a sightseeing trip.”

“I get that. It is nice to just enjoy the journey sometimes.”

“Sure is,” I said with a grin, and then...

Fwooooom! The peaceful scene was interrupted by the sound of a distant explosion. I didn’t have to search long for the source of the noise—a thin stream of black smoke was rising from the village up ahead.

“What the heck is that all about?” I wondered aloud.

“So much for enjoying the journey. Let’s go, Lina!”

“Right!”

Where there’s smoke, there’s fire—and profit to be had! Thus Gourry and I took off running for the town.

When we arrived on site, there was a crowd forming around a house that looked like it had taken a direct hit by a Fireball. Part of it was a smoldering ruin, and that seemed to be the source of the smoke.

“What happened?!” I asked urgently.

But the villagers seemed just as confused as I was.

“That’s what we’d like to know,” one said.

“We heard a sound, and by the time we got here...” another added.

“A young girl lives in that house! Can you help us clear the rubble?!” a third asked.

“On it! I’ll get this done in a flash.” With that, I began to chant a spell. “Vu Vrima!”

Vrumm! Responding to those words of power, the dirt nearby swiftly billowed up to form a golem. Murmurs of shock and awe ran through the onlookers.

“Golem, move this rubble aside!”

“Krrsh!” Heeding my command, the golem began rooting through the still-smoldering wreckage. But just as it got to work...

Shooooom! I heard a second explosion from the forest behind us.

“Golem, if you find anyone inside, get them out of the rubble and stand by! If not, keep clearing rubble until it’s all cleaned up!”

After giving my golem orders, I darted into the forest with Gourry hot on my heels. The smell of greenery was thick around us. The birds had stopped singing though, either startled by the explosion or cowed by the heavy sense of danger around us. And...

Bwooooom! Then came a third explosion, this one closer than I was expecting. Gourry and I looked at each other, nodded, and dashed in the direction of the blast.

“Ngh!”

With the agility of a cat, a girl landed in the grass nearby. She looked about fourteen or fifteen, was on the short side, and had large, round eyes. She was dressed more or less like the other villagers and wore her long, black hair in a loose braid over her shoulder.

And standing before her was a shadow come to life—a man clad all in black.

“I hope you don’t think you can get away from us,” he said. He had all but his eyes covered... like an assassin one might say, if not for the decidedly unassassin-like air about him. “Even if—if—you somehow manage to give me the slip, where exactly would you go then, hmm? You’ve no family and now no home to return to—my Fireball saw to that! I don’t think you want to spend your nights under the stars, so for your own good, stop being stubborn and come with me!”

“Sheesh... For a guy trying to do the whole ‘inconspicuous’ thing, you sure got a mouth on you,” someone boldly replied—but it wasn’t the girl.

“What?!”

I probably don’t need to tell you who the man saw when he turned around. It was none other than me and Gourry, who’d finally arrived after tracking down the commotion.

“Who are you people?!” the man in black demanded.

“You think we’re stupid enough to give our names to basically the sketchiest guy in the universe?”

“What?! You make me sound like some common criminal!” he protested, raising his voice.

Uh, do you not realize you look like one in that getup, bub?

“Regardless,” he continued, “if you won’t tell me who you are, at least tell me what you’re doing here!”

“We were passing by when we saw a house in town go ’splodey, and then we heard another big boom in the forest. Kinda grabs the old attention, y’know? Quiz time: Where you come from, what do they call people who blow up houses and try to kidnap girls? Let me guess—common criminals?”

“Th-That’s... It’s all right in service to a mission!”

“And what ‘mission’ is that?” I raised an eyebrow at his choice of words.

“None of your business!”

“Look, whatever your circumstances,” Gourry said as he took a confident step forward, “we still can’t just stand by and let this happen. I’m betting there’s no way to talk you down, is there?”

“Of course not. You’re free to play heroes and go sticking your noses into this, but I’ll warn you... If you don’t withdraw peacefully, I’ll have to get rid of you some other way. Get my drift?”

“The infamous silence-you-forever deal?” I snorted at the black-clad man’s cliched threat. “Perspective check. If we were the kind of people who’d cave to a little petty intimidation, you really think we would’ve come after a seedy guy like you in the first place?”

Rather than respond with words, the man drew the shortsword from his waist. His stance looked pretty sharp. He might’ve been a loudmouth relative to his stealthy getup, but he at least seemed to know what he was doing in a fight.

Meanwhile, the girl he was chasing just stood there for some reason, like she intended to see how this all panned out. Gotta say, I would’ve preferred she’d hightail it outta here while me and Assassin Dude were having our little tête-à-tête. Not that I could just out and yell that.

Gourry smoothly drew his longsword and announced himself, “I’m Gourry Gabriev.”

“You can call me Zain,” Assassin Dude declared in turn. And when he did...

“Fool!” came a chastising voice from behind him. A rustle in the grass preceded the appearance of another black-clad figure. Had he been there all this time cloaking his presence? Was that the real reason the girl hadn’t made a break for it? Had she managed to sense him when even I couldn’t?

The second assassin’s scolding had Zain at a loss. He stammered, “G-Gal—”

“Don’t give them my name too!”

“B-But—”

“Not only did you give your own name to strangers, you revealed the name of a comrade! You could at least attempt to practice a hint of discretion!”

“B-But they’re just codenames...”

“Oh, for the...” A vein bulged in Second Assassin Dude’s forehead at this latest bout of buffoonery from Zain. Bet it’s exhausting to have an underling like him.

I let out a sigh. “Using codenames suggests you’re both part of some organization in service to a royal family or local lord, right?”

“Ack! How’d you guess?!” Zain yelped.

Yeesh, what a damned mark...

Gal-whatshisname groaned again at Zain’s antics, then turned his attention back to us. “It certainly seems you know too much,” he said, perfectly cool in stark contrast to the badly shaken Zain. “I really will have to silence you now. Don’t blame me; blame your own meddling, and Zain’s stupid mouth.”

“Gee, you sound pretty confident about how this is gonna go down. Care to put your theory to the test?”

Sparks were flying between us and the two assassins. But my greatest concern at the moment was the fact that the girl still hadn’t moved. Was she just scared stiff, or... were there more assassins lurking nearby?

“Hah!” Zain shouted as he made the first move, as if to wrest me from my hesitation. Weaving through the trees, he closed the distance on Gourry.

Gotta say, dude was freaking fast! I caught two streaks of silver glinting in the sunlight dappling the forest—Zing! Gourry had parried the first attack, but Zain clicked his tongue and immediately tried again. He certainly was good... but not as good as Gourry from what I could see.

As Zain went in for a second strike, Second Assassin Dude drew his own sword and came for me. Ugh, I wasn’t going to finish my incantation in time! I drew my shortsword to block the incoming blow, all while keeping up my chant.

Clang!

Dang, this guy was pretty good too! I could more or less keep up with him thanks to my recent sword training with Gourry, but if not for that, that opening move might’ve bisected me on the spot.

Second Assassin Dude, like Zain, immediately pulled back his blocked sword, leaped to the side, and swung again. Except this time... he was going for Gourry! Were they trying to double-team him first?!

“Tch!” Gourry blocked Second Assassin Dude’s strike, then tried to dodge Zain’s with a slight twist of his body.

Pah-piiing! The tip of Zain’s sword scratched Gourry’s breastplate with a deafening peal. While Second Assassin Dude then kept Gourry in place, Zain readied another strike... But before he could unleash it, I finished my spell.

“Diem Wind!”

Whoosh!

“Gwuh!”

A non-fatal but buffeting gust sent all three men flying! Nice one, Lina! Okay, so I nailed Gourry with the baddies, but I’d still stymied the assassins’ onslaught!

“Huh?! You blew your ally away too?” Zain asked in shock as he picked himself up off the grass.

“Hah, amateur!” I scoffed. “Ever heard the saying ‘better overkill than underkill’?”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” he whispered, taken aback.

Meanwhile, a smirk appeared on my face. While I was indulging this little comedy routine with Zain, Gourry had gotten up and readied his sword. See? I was totally just talking smack to buy Gourry time to get back in the game. It said absolutely nothing about my personality whatsoever. No siree!

Still, these guys weren’t just pretty good—they were also uncompromising in the pursuit of their goal. Even Zain, who seemed pretty bird-brained, was an able opponent. Which meant... I needed to finish this fast!

“Gourry, I’m going for a big one! Sorry if it hits you too!” I bluffed. The two assassins looked shaken—but not half as much as Gourry did.

“W-Wait, Lina! Please reconsider!”

“‘Lina’?! Wait, are you... Lina Inverse?!” The one who said that wasn’t either of the assassins, but the girl, who was still watching.

“D-Did she say Lina Inverse?!” Gal-whatshisname shouted in shock.

“You’ve heard of her?” Zain asked in response.

“You haven’t?! She has quite a number of titles I wouldn’t dare repeat in polite company, and she’s always number one on those ‘top ten sorcerers you’d never want to be friends with’ lists!”

“Who’s making those lists?!” I found myself screaming in response. Sheesh! You get a little notoriety and the nasty rumor mills start churning nonstop. What a world!

Second Assassin Dude clucked his tongue slightly. “It’s a bad matchup, but if it’s two-on-two, we might still stand a chance—”

“How’s about four-on-two then?” a new voice asked, this one coming from behind us all, back in the direction of the village.

While keeping one eye on the assassins, I glanced over my shoulder to see a man and woman approaching. They both looked about twenty. The man was tall, with short black hair and a rather sour expression that sullied his otherwise decent looks. The woman was tall and beautiful, with long silver hair done up in a ponytail. He wore light mail and she leather pauldrons, and they both approached with swords drawn.

Traveling mercenaries, huh? At the very least, they didn’t seem like part of the assassins’ crew.

“So, what’s the plan, man? You hang around much longer and you’re really gonna draw a crowd,” pressed the male mercenary.

“Drat! Let’s get out of here,” said Second Assassin Dude, and with one click of his tongue, he leaped into the underbrush and disappeared.

Ah, a textbook retreat! Well-timed and efficient.

In contrast, Zain couldn’t help spewing a few third-rate villain lines as he made his own unceremonious withdrawal: “You haven’t heard the last of us! We’ll be back! Mark my words!”

Gourry and I breathed a sigh of relief only when the two goons were completely out of detectable range.

“That was a big help. Thanks,” I then said to the couple who’d arrived on scene.

The man waved his hand in casual dismissal. “Meh, spare us the parade. We ain’t here to help you out anyway. We know the girl, is all.” He then turned to her and said, “Yo. Been a while, Sherra. Those assassins here for the you-know-what too?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” the girl responded brusquely, flicking her braid over her shoulder with a finger.

The “you-know-what,” huh?

“Say, think you could fill us in on the situation?” I asked.

But the man waved me off again without even sparing a glance. “What, you two are still here? Why don’t you buzz off already?” he scoffed.

Grr...

“I beg your—”

“I get how you feel an’ all, Sherra. But you can’t stubborn your way outta this.”

“Uh, hello?”

“If you don’t let someone help ya out, you’re just gonna keep gettin’ into situations like this—”

“Hey! Old man!”

I could see his shoulders twitch at that one. Oho, got ’im! Control of the situation, consider yourself regained!

“O-Old man?” He turned back toward me with a creak, a vein visibly bulging on his forehead. But before he could start...

“We got here first, y’know? You can’t come barging in halfway through, fail to do anything, then shoo us off without so much as an explanation! That’s rude! Only an old man would have the audacity! And don’t try to tell me you’re not really that old, ’cause you’re a crotchety old fart on the inside for sure!”

“Geh...”

The man turned to his female companion for backup, but she simply watched the situation unfold with curious eyes. Sure didn’t seem like she’d be coming to his aid.

Okay! Time to go all-in on the “old man” offense— Wait, hang on. I wasn’t here to insult this jerk. I was supposed to be figuring out the bigger picture. Heh, whew! Almost lost control of myself there...

That said, the longer this dude and I talked, the more we were going to argue and the less likely he’d be to tell me what I wanted to know. His female companion seemed pretty tight-lipped too... which meant there was only one recourse left!

I brushed past the couple and approached the girl—Sherra, apparently—with a bright smile. “So, you know who I am?”

“Y-Yes. Well, you have quite a reputation... in a few senses of the word...”

I didn’t much like the sound of that, but I decided to let it slide. “I see. Then I’ll cut to the chase. Since I’m so famous, I’ll give you my autograph if you tell me what’s going on here!”

“Huh?!” Sherra’s expression hardened into a grimace. “Er... well... I mean...” she stammered.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Gourry said with a look of genuine concern. “No one will think any less of you. Just accept the autograph and get it over with. I know it’ll be a real bummer on your day, but...”

Rgh!

“Just don’t say anything like ‘why would anyone want that?’ or whatever else you’re really thinking, unless you want to see her go nuts. And besides, the autograph’s not all bad. It might help you ward away burglars, or maybe you could use it for a potholder...”

Krack! The head-sized rock I crowned Gourry with shut him up good.

“I know there are a lot of bad rumors about me out there. But it’s not nice to judge people based solely on gossip, is it?” I said sincerely.

Sherra shook her head fervently, her expression still frozen on her face for some reason.

“Everyone has a few skeletons in their closet. But those men in black are after you, and they tried to kill us for interfering too. Do you really intend to let this situation continue just because you’re not comfortable talking about it?”

For this, the girl had no answer but silence. Okay! Time to seal the deal!

“Of course, at the end of the day, we’re the ones sticking our noses into your business, so I’m not going to selfishly ask that you tell us absolutely everything. Just what you’re willing to share. It might even lighten your load a little. As nosy as we are, we might be able to help—”

“Aw, c’mon. Don’t go telling them nothin’.” The man sidled up to Sherra as he cut me off. “If you need help, that’s what we’re here for. Right, Mileena?”

The silver-haired woman just smiled awkwardly at this plea for agreement. “It’s no skin off my nose,” she said, “but your ulterior motives are showing, Luke.”

“Hey now, don’t go makin’ it sound unseemly. All I’m sayin’ is I can’t stand to see a cute girl in need go un-helped. But don’t get the wrong idea, Mileena. You’re still the only one for me!”

“Idiot,” Mileena whispered in irritation.

If her cheeks had flushed red and she’d averted her eyes slightly, I’d have thought, “Oh, this is your typical couple-in-denial rom-com.” But she seriously glared at him when she called him an idiot in a voice that reeked of disgust. It was looking more to me like Luke was a tagalong with a one-way infatuation... Ah, but I digress.

“I’m a cute girl in need too!” I protested. “As in, I need to know what’s going on!”

Luke stared at me seriously for a while, then said, “I totally can stand to see annoying girls in need.”

Splat!

“What’d you say?!” I growled, my boot suddenly planted deep in Luke’s face.

“Hey! The hell?!”

“Don’t you try to play dumb after spewing that crap about me!”

“Well, did I say anything wrong?!”

“You bet you did! Mileena will never like you if you don’t learn a little tact!”

“Geh! She... She likes me plenty! Anyone can tell we’re a steamin’ hot couple in love! Right, Mileena?!”

“No,” she responded indignantly, possibly annoyed by Luke’s embarrassing choice of words.

“Aw man! My love still ain’t gotten through to you?!”

“See? Ha! She doesn’t like you even one little bit!” I jeered.

“Shut up! A kid like you would never understand the subtleties of romance!”

“Who’re you calling a kid?!”

“Um... just thought I’d point out that the girl’s leaving.”

“Put a sock in it, Gou— Wait, huh?”

Gourry had apparently revived at some point, and I looked around when I processed what he’d said. Sure enough, I spotted Sherra striding swiftly back toward town.

“Hey, w-wait!”

“Hold up, Sherra!”

All four of us quickly ran after her.

“Why are you followin’ us?” Luke asked with a glare.

I hit him with a glare right back. “The village is this way, duh. Now lemme ask you why you’re stalking that little girl! She doesn’t seem to like you much!”

“Oh, so you think she likes you, huh?”

“At least she doesn’t hate my guts like she does yours!”

“Oh yeah? I dare you to say that again!”

“Ha! I’ll say it as many times as you want!”

Invisible sparks flew between me and Luke, casting a tension over the surrounding forest. Gourry and Mileena were walking some distance away, pretending they didn’t know us.

This gave me a little time to think. Judging by their interactions with Sherra, I was guessing Luke and Mileena had been pestering her for a while. Could they be after whatever it was the assassins wanted? Speaking of... what did they want? The most obvious candidate, of course, was treasure. Sherra must have the key to some kind of loot, which both the assassin duo and Team Luke were after.

That would certainly explain the situation. And if we assumed my prior deduction was correct—that the assassins were acting as special forces for some royal family or local lord—then the treasure they were trying to get their hands on must be pretty sweet! That meant it was worth sticking around. I just needed to help Sherra out of her bind, earn her gratitude, and—

“Aaaaaah!” An abrupt scream from the girl in question brought my train of thought to a halt.

“What’s wrong?!” I asked as I sprinted to catch up to her. I’d been so caught up in mulling things over and giving Luke the cold shoulder that I hadn’t realized we were already upon the village.

Sherra was standing there, completely motionless. Before her were a crowd of people and the golem I’d created, plus the heaping pile o’ junk that used to be her house.

“Are you all right?!” one villager called.

“What happened?” another asked as they crowded around her.

But she ignored them all and softly lamented, “My house...”

“Oh, right... That sorcerer girl thought you might be buried in the rubble and conjured this here golem to sort through it, but as you can see...” one villager said in response, pointing at me.

“Ohhh?” Sherra stiffly craned her neck as she turned to look my way. “As I recall, those men did blow up part of my house with a Fireball... So you kindly had your golem finish the job, did you?”

Grk!

Uh... Uh-oh! There was a distinct fury burning in Sherra’s eyes. Time for a patented Lina ass-covering!

“It’s... not like I did it on purpose. I just asked the golem to clean up the rubble when I dashed off into the forest... I guess it couldn’t tell where the rubble ended and the house began. Aha... haha. Golems, am I right?”

“This is unacceptable!” Sherra shrieked. “Where am I supposed to sleep tonight?!”

“Well, er... If you’re in a jam, I’m happy to help!”

“You’re the reason I’m in a jam! Give me back my house!”

“Um... um... I know! I’ll summon a bunch of golems, and make them take the shape of a house!”

“I would never want to live in such a creepy house!”

Sheesh, some people! So picky about where they live... I started racking my brain, trying to think up a way to get back on Sherra’s good side. In the end, I decided to pony up the cash to get her a room for the night, which seemed to calm things down for the time being.

Later that evening...

“The real question is... why are you guys here too?” I asked, coldly observing Luke and Mileena, who were sitting across the table from us in the eatery that made up the first floor of the inn.

Luke wasn’t fazed. He just responded lightly, “What d’you expect? These’re the only lodgings in town.”

“So why are you sitting with us?”

“We ain’t sittin’ with you. We’re sittin’ with Sherra.”

The center of this whole mess, Sherra herself, was ignoring all four of us as she unhappily munched on her dinner.

Hrm... I hadn’t made a lot of progress re: getting on her good side. Generally at times like this, it was better to give someone their space than force the issue. With that in mind, I wanted to switch tracks and try talking about something else altogether... but given Sherra’s refusal to speak to me and Mileena’s overall stoicism, that meant my only conversation option was bickering with Luke.

Gourry, of course, was out of the question. Asking him to mediate was as good as using a willow branch for bungee jumping. Still, continuing to argue with Luke was just gonna make things more awkward instead of getting Sherra to warm up to us.

Maybe I should change things up by talking directly to her...

“I guess... you’re still mad, huh, Sherra?” I asked, glancing at her as I shoveled down some salmon sautéed in butter. “I know I should’ve been more careful with my golem orders, and my carelessness ended up destroying your house.” I popped some lettuce-wrapped roast beef in my mouth, then continued, “But I’m sorry about all that, and I really want to apologize.” Another two bites of sweet shrimp stew. “I know that apologizing won’t actually fix anything.” A sampling of pork sausage and greens with a squeeze of lemon between slices of bread. “I just... want to help you however I can.”

“That is so not convincing!” Kerwham! I wasn’t sure what she was so steamed about, but Sherra drove her knife and fork into the table and stood up. “Forget about the house! Just leave me alone! Both of you!” She pointed first at me, then at Luke, and then turned her back on us and stormed up the stairs to her room.

“Nice goin’. You just pissed her off more,” Luke said reproachfully, glaring at me.

“Don’t blame this on me!”

“Why not? It’s your fault!”

“How?!”

“It’d rile anyone to watch you say that stuff while acting like that!”

“Not me!”

Sparks started flying between me and Luke again.

“Let’s give her until morning,” Mileena said calmly, defusing the near-explosive tension. “She might calm down after a night of rest.”

“W-Well... fair enough,” I admitted.

“If you say so, I ain’t got no objections,” Luke agreed.

“Good. In that case, let us at least eat in peace,” she said with a bright smile.

The next day...

“Sherra left first thing this morning,” relayed the innkeep.

“Huh?!” all four of us responded in shock.

We (sans Sherra) had finished breakfast with the air still frosty between us. When we finally realized the ice queen wasn’t coming down, we took a look into her room and found it empty. We were worried the assassins might have snatched her overnight, so we asked the innkeeper and... Welp, you heard what he said. She’d been gone way too long for a casual morning stroll.

“Um, well... Did she say where she was going?” I asked.

The man thought for a moment and then answered, “Hmm, nothing about where she was going, but...”

“But she did say something?!”

“Just one thing.”

“What was it?!”

“That I should ask the chestnut-haired sorceress—I’m guessing that’s you—to pay her board.”

Those unthinkable words rendered me silent.

His eyes on me, Luke spoke up with great sarcasm, “Sounds like Sherra ain’t comin’ back then. Ah, poor girl. If only someone hadn’t gone and wrecked her house...”

“Grkk?! O-Oh, please! Who was it who said she’d calm down if we left her alone for a night?!”

“Don’t you go blamin’ Mileena!”

“Then don’t you go blaming me either! Ah, whatever... Tracking down Sherra is our top priority right now. She may still be in the area, so I’m gonna go look for her! Gourry, you’re with me!”

“Sure thing!”

With that, Gourry and I stood up forcefully.

And just a little before noon, we returned to the inn empty-handed.

“Hrmmm... She’s not at the ruins of her home, and it sounds like nobody in the village has seen her. You think she blew town?” I wondered gloomily as I sat down at the table, sipping my fruit juice. Rrgh! I hate it when I lose a good treasure lead!

“If she did, what’s our next move?” Gourry asked.

I let out a sigh. “What do you think? If she’s gone, she’s gone. If she really peaced out on us, we have no way of knowing where she went.”

“Speaking of people missing, I don’t see those two either...”

“Maybe they’re taking a walk somewhere. But even if they are really gone, that doesn’t—” I was about to say that it didn’t change anything, but caught myself gulping.

Why hadn’t they done anything when we announced we were going to search for Sherra? Was it possible they had some idea where she’d gone? Was that why they didn’t try to stop us? Were they just waiting for us to leave so they could pursue their own lead?

Argh! I hate this!

I chugged the rest of my juice, stood up, and looked around for the old innkeep. “Pardon, but do you know where the couple who was with us this morning went?” I asked when I spotted him in the back washing dishes.

“Eh? After you two disappeared, they paid their tab and left,” he paused to say.

“They mention where they were headed?”

“No, but... Ah, that’s right. They told me to tell you, ‘It seems Sherra is gone, so we’re giving up and going home.’”

“Huh?” I frowned upon hearing this message.

Suspect. Blatantly suspect. After all the headbutting we’d done, there was no way those two had just up and abandoned this little operation. No, it had to be the opposite. They’d gone after Sherra themselves. That was the only reason they’d leave a message saying they’d given up and then skip out while we were gone.

In other words, it was time to track down Luke and Mileena! Clue-hunting, here we come!

“You know, I don’t know much about those two... Do you?” I asked. “Knowing more about them might tell us where Sherra went.”

The old man scratched his head and replied, “Hmm? Well, I figured they were wandering mercenaries or something, so I never paid them much mind. They’ve been staying here for three or four days, and they apparently dropped by Sherra’s place a few times.”

“So they go back, do they?”

“Not sure. Sherra hasn’t lived here all that long herself.”

“You mean she moved here from elsewhere?”

“Moved here? More like... she just showed up one day.”

“Sounds hinky.”

“Ah, it’s not like that. A local man named Glen used to live in that house with his wife, see. Had a real bee in his bonnet for adventure. It gave the missus a lot of grief,” the old man began, adding all sorts of details I hadn’t asked for.

Wait, was this the infamous “if asked for rumors, give ’em gossip” disease?! It was a common affliction among older country folk. The more isolated their corner of the world, the more they feel obliged to talk someone’s ear off at the slightest opportunity. And if someone infected catches you, you’re doomed to listen to their stupid, boring stories forever.

There’s only one way to break free—say you’re in a hurry, do a one-eighty, and walk straight out. And there were some opponents too formidable for even that, though it should work just fine on an amateur like this old guy. That said, gossip was a potential way to gather clues... So I decided to bear with it for a while and listened in quietly.

“His favorite words were ‘easy money.’ He preferred drinking, gambling, and whores to breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The man was hardly ever home with every get-rich-quick scheme he was chasing in some nearby town or other. He wasn’t even here for his wife’s death. To be honest, the folks around here didn’t care much for him. Then... Was it two years ago now? Three? He shows up back in town with that girl. Neither of ’em said a thing about it, but word on the street had it Sherra’s his illegitimate daughter. Not long after that, Glen got drunk one night, fell into the river, and drowned himself. The girl’s been living in that house on her own ever since. Er... I’m not boring you, am I?” he asked, suddenly snapping out of his ramble.

“Oh, not at all. I really love hearing people’s stories,” I said in quick denial.

“I was just wondering since your companion there appears to have fallen asleep.”

“Huh?” I looked beside me and found Gourry leaning back against the wall of the inn, snoring away.

You big jerk... I thought about kicking him awake, but feared it might stymie any more friendly chatting with the innkeep.

“Well, if he wants to sleep, let him.” I fought back my violent urges and instead encouraged the old man to go on. “What happened next?”

“Now, let me see... Sherra was basically one of us by then. She was a bit self-conscious of being an outsider, I think, and she could be a little unsociable, but the villagers all like her well enough. Of course, that might be partly out of pity, her father being the way he was and all. We figure she’s had a hard life.”

“A hard life, huh? Say, how’s she been supporting herself since her father passed?”

“How’s she supporting herself? Well... I don’t really know,” the old man admitted, none the wiser to my subtle leading of the conversation.

That was an interesting tidbit, though. If her layabout father was dead and Sherra wasn’t working, how was she making a living? My speculation about a hidden treasure was growing considerably less speculative.

“You mean she doesn’t work at all? It doesn’t sound like her father was the type to leave an inheritance.”

The old man waved dismissively at the thought. “An inheritance? No way. Every copper Glen earned went to booze that same night, and he was constantly trying to pawn off his possessions to anyone who’d give him the time of day. The fellow was always after quick cash. The funniest was that time he went to dig up orichalcum in Bezeld.”

Hmm, we’re kind of getting off the subject ag—

“Wait, orichalcum?!” I said, unwittingly raising my voice at the mention of that word.

Orichalcum was a kind of metal most folks never laid eyes on in a lifetime. It had interesting properties like blocking magical detection, which made it very useful to researchers in the sorcery game, but the stuff was even harder to find than gold. That rarity was reflected in its price, usually fetching double the market value of platinum. In other words... it would be an all-too-tempting prospect for someone looking to get rich quick.

“Is there really orichalcum in Bezeld?! Wait, Bezeld...” I murmured, then scowled. Bezeld, huh? Wasn’t that where the old swindler headman said we’d find a sword?

“Well, there was some, but golly, it was discovered... oh, I’d say twenty years ago. And they said it really wasn’t much in the end. But Glen heard about it and headed straight to Bezeld himself. We all knew he wouldn’t find anything. When he came back empty-handed and we said we told him so, what do you think his excuse was?”

Drat... Off-topic again.

“You’ll laugh when you hear this. He said that he didn’t find any orichalcum, but while he was digging, he came across a strange cave. When he went deeper in, he found a strange sword sticking out of a rock. But it was all just so creepy that he turned tail and ran! Can you believe it?”

“Say whaaat?!” I shouted, caught off-guard. “You said he found a sword? You mean...”

“Yup. Obviously, it was a total fish story. He was drunk as a lord when he told it.”

“I see...” I nodded vaguely along.

If this Glen guy was three sheets to the wind when he told the tale, it seemed even more likely to me to be true. After all, drunken braggadocio isn’t inclined to stories about running off with your tail between your legs. If he was just making up an excuse about why he didn’t find any orichalcum, surely he would’ve painted himself in a braver light... Say there was a monster he slew, or maybe he just barely managed to escape it after a harrowing chase.

Still, it was too hasty to assume solely based on this story that there really was a sword in Bezeld.

“Anyway, my wife has this theory that Glen had Sherra back when he was in Bezeld. She’s about the right age. And Glen did love the ladies...”

We were back in pure gossip territory, so I let it all go in one ear and out the other. How much of this was truth, and how much was fiction? There was just one thing I knew for sure—the key to unraveling this mystery was in Bezeld.