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*In case you guys didn’t catch the note last chapter: That was an April Fools’ chapter and not canon. Anyway, here’s a double release to make up for it!*
Translator: thursdays Editor: Yahiko PR: LightBrin
2.
Then, Raviel Ivansia tightened her grip. To kill a man. To feel everlasting pain.
-Euk, ghk, eup…!
The man’s body twisted. Raviel Ivansia’s sword penetrated further, deeper in his heart. He let out a painful scream. The scream tore through the space only the two of them occupied .
‘I don’t want to kill you.’
Raviel Ivansia bit her lips.
‘I don’t want to lose you.’
But despite her wishes, Raviel Ivansia stabbed the man with increasing strength. She vividly felt everything in her hands. With a touch, his chest caved in. His flesh was lacerated. His heart was pierced, and he kept coughing up blood.
All of these things became Raviel Ivansia’s scars.
‘More.’
She had to feel it more strongly. She had to engrave this moment as her trauma from now on. So that one day, who knows when, the man she loved could see this sight.
So when the man was about to cough up more blood, Raviel Ivansia stole his lips.
-……!
A bloody breath flowed from his heart to her mouth. It was red and sticky. This was her man’s warmth. This was her man’s blood. This was her man’s heart.
Raviel Ivansia shut his mouth so that not a single drop would leak.
-……
The man was dying.
Raviel Ivansia did not blink. She didn’t want to miss the moment of her beloved’s death, the moment when his complexion turned pale, his movements stopped, and his breath faded—each and every moment was agony for her.
She didn’t want to lose him.
She wanted to let herself scream at the world.
She didn’t want to lose this man.
What if this moment didn’t become her trauma? What if, because of that, all her plans failed? Then she would forget him, and he would lose her. There would be nothing left.
Raviel Ivansia was afraid.
‘More.’
For her, fear in itself was a disgrace. It was an insult. But Raviel Ivansia constantly repeated this terrifying scene, unleashing her dire imagination. She deliberately deepened the wound.
She imagined him failing to convince the Tower.
She saw herself forgetting him and living the way she used to before.
She pictured the two of them passing each other in the hallway, unaware.
Wounds piled on top of more wounds.
-……
Then, Raviel Ivansia saw. His death.
-……
Raviel Ivansia understood it. This period was like leftover time. It would be a very brief moment before her man returned. He would probably regress after a few seconds. Caught up in his timeline, she would also regress the same way soon.
Just a few seconds. Only a few seconds.
But those few seconds felt like an eternity to Raviel Ivansia.
She slowly parted her lips.
-Gongja?
There was no answer.
-Gongja.
Ah.
At that exact moment, Raviel Ivansia knew. That was right. This last scene, the absence of an answer.
His unfocused gaze. His lips that stopped as if he had forgotten how to speak. This moment was now a trauma that Raviel Ivansia could never wash away.
Everything was clear.
She had never felt a scar worse than this.
-……
Raviel Ivansia hugged him. She embraced his body, using the few seconds she had left to hold him.
Believing in him.
[Trauma reenactment complete.]
Like I believed in you, you’ll believe in me, Gongja.
[Confirming that the subject’s psyche is maintained.]
So, we can wait for each other.
[The penalty is ending.]
We had to.
[Currently, your immersion rate is 98%.]
ㆍ
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It was strangely difficult to open my eyes.
“Butler?”
The Lady of the Golden Silk, who was sitting across me, was startled. It was weird. Her always-shining face looked blurry to me today.
“Did something happen? Why are you like this so suddenly?”
“Excuse me?”
“You’re crying. Right now.”
Only then did I realize I was crying. I was shocked. Just a moment ago, the Lady of the Golden Silk and I were chatting together.
I only blinked my eyes.
In that moment, tears had begun to flow.
“Ah…?”
Even worse, the tears weren’t stopping.
“B-butler? I’m a little scared. I’m not afraid of much, but I’m a little scared now. Why did you suddenly start crying while we were talking? D-did I do something strange again?”
“No… That’s… I don’t know why either.”
“Are you crying for no reason? Are you going insane? Geez, you’re really dripping all over… W-what should I do? It’s the first time you’ve cried like this since I beat you up when you were five years old…”
“You’re never going to let that go, are you, milady? Please forget about it.”
“But, butler. Even if I forget about you being beaten up when you were five, I still beat you when you were six, seven, fourteen, and occasionally, even now. If you ask me to forget all that, I’ll have amnesia. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that your life is a series of being beaten up by me.”
Amnesia.
“……”
“Ack, I thought you were stopping now, but why are you crying again?! I’m sorry! I’m sorry I keep hitting you! I won’t hit you anymore. Even when I hit you, I won’t insult your pride. That’s enough, right?!”
“I think I had a nightmare, milady…”
“What? A nightmare? Did I get caught by a monster and die?”
“No. A woman was crying a lot while looking at me… I wanted to wipe away her tears, but I was sad that I couldn’t.”
“I see.”
The Lady of the Golden Silk made a look of deep understanding.
“That woman was me.”
“It was absolutely not you, milady… Milady could never make such a melancholy and noble expression. Your mood is naturally different…”
“Ah. Should I just hit you?”
The Lady of the Golden Silk looked at me with narrowed eyes. Normally, I would have to bow and say sorry, and the lady would reply, “I’m generous, so I understand,” with an expression as if it couldn’t be helped.
Instead, I got up from the chair.
“Butler?”
“I need to go somewhere for a moment.”
“Huh? But it’s night. I was going to tell you that I was going to meet the crown prince for dinner tomorrow. I was excited and wanted to show off. You’re obligated to listen to me brag, butler.”
I bowed.
“I apologize, milady. But there’s a place I have to go.”
“……”
The Lady of the Golden Silk squinted at me. She put her hand on the chair and stared, bemused.
“All right. You have a brain, and if you have a brain, you can think for yourself. But don’t come back with bare hands! Stop by the kitchen and steal me a muffin.”
“Tomorrow, His Highness will gift you a blue coral ring.”
The Lady of the Golden Silk blinked.
“What?”
“I’m heading out now.”
I walked out.
Behind me, the lady yelled, “Butler! Is that for real?!” However, I ignored her shouts.
“Wait a moment. Even if you’re going out, answer me first! Butler, you jerk!”
The lady had become tamer after coming to Sormwyn Academy, but her spirit was still that of the boss of the alley kids. She was the one who beat up the other kids in our hometown.
‘My master.’
I hurried.
It should have been the first time I went down this path, but my feet seemed to know the way.
‘It’s like I’ve walked down this path before.’
The gate of the Lady of the Silver Lily’s residence was open. There were no guards. It should have been weird, but I only thought, ‘I thought it would be like that.’ My feet did not hesitate to cross the garden.
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