SG! 21: Friends I Can Count On

After I had breakfast, I called Aira and Palmira out to the balcony.
It was arrogant to say this, as a guest, but this balcony was my favorite.
The pleasant feeling of the wind, and best of all, the great view.
The light blue of the sky and the indigo of the sea were a sight for sore eyes.
When I looked down, I could see the port city bustling with human activity. How luxurious. Even so, I’d be saying goodbye in a few days’ time.

I gave Aira and Palmira a simple explanation of my plans from this point on.
For the time being, I kept the marriage business under wraps.
I turned it down, so talking about it would make things too complicated.

“The imperial capital! Really? I’ve never been there before.”

Aira was openly happy. At least, that was how it looked on the outside, but she didn’t have an any other ‘side’ to her. She was genuinely delighted with the idea.
I looked at Palmira.
Her expression seemed a touch complex.

“What is it?”

“…I don’t have any good memories of the imperial capital.”

From the sound of it, Palmira had been released from prison at the capital. But that didn’t necessarily mean in the capital.
As the capital city of one of the three global superpowers, its size was on such a scale that Telaberan couldn’t even compare. Naturally, it was enclosed by walls, but with space at a premium inside, the city expanded beyond them. From there to the outer edge, the districts gradually descended deeper and deeper into poverty. Apparently, Palmira had spent a week living in the outermost edge.
According to Palmira herself, she didn’t so much live there as exist there.

“I don’t know how to live. But I don’t want to die. So — ”

She passed her days stealing and being stolen from. Finally, she herself was stolen…

“But if you’re going, Chris, I’ll go too. I don’t mind it that much.”

Well, if it’s Palmira, she would say that, I thought.

The imperial capital.
From what I knew about it, it actually wasn’t that big. If I remembered correctly, I’d only come here before while escorting merchant caravans.
Back then, I didn’t venture inside the walls, so I had never seen the city inside that daunting outer shell. Just up to the districts next to the walls, at most.
That said, it was still a fairly large city. Within the outer edge, public order wasn’t half bad, and the city had set up various municipal institutions.
Since the Adventurers’ Guild was located there as well, it wasn’t especially difficult to buy something you wanted. As you’d expect from a large city, I thought.

–

–

We spent the whole morning out on the balcony.
It was nice and comfortable here, but surprisingly, there was nothing to do. With our departure for the capital scheduled the day after tomorrow, ultimately, all we could do until then was wait.
Gazing out over the city and the sea, as far my eyes could see, relaxed me. Aira and Palmira were similar, but neither seemed more bored than me. I saw them making themselves at home on the balcony.
At some point I was inclined to strike up a conversation with them. But for some reason, I veered off-course and ended up leaning against the hand railing, looking at the scenery visible only from where I stood.

Without anything to do, my mind ran in circles.
The marriage business with Leon was particularly inconsequential right now. What I was far more concerned about was the girl in that drawing.
I suppose I could call her the other Chris.

…Isn’t that the [me] in my dreams?

Giving up on my denial, I put the pieces together.
I sighed. I’d never checked how I looked in the dreams. There was an objective part of me that said these were no more than dreams, but somehow, I knew we looked the same.
I couldn’t say for sure, but even so — with images of such clarity before me, no matter how I tried, I couldn’t help but suspect that it was the dream [me].

Back then, I ran. From that conclusions I drew there. Because all I felt was a primal fear.

But now, it was impossible for me not to think about it. I wasn’t that capable. I couldn’t continue to avert my eyes from the issues that were all too clear to me.
I braced myself, and came to the logical conclusion.

At that time, I didn’t turn into a woman.
Most likely, my soul, and my soul alone, possessed the [Chris] Leon said was dead.

Of course, I didn’t know what [Chris] was doing in the Artor Ruins Cluster. But there was probably some kind of motive behind it. It was baseless speculation, but right now, the story would fall apart without it.
I drank the medicine and pass out. Then, by some sort of mechanism, I possessed her. Now, this theory was clearly a perfect fit.
When I considered things from that angle, I could explain the parts that confused me.

The fact that I acquired the ability to use magic.
The mysterious memories within me. The dreams.

Not to mention, now that I remembered, why I was stark naked when I came back out of the ruins.
I’d thought that my things had slipped off due to the changes in my physique, but still, it was weird for me to be completely butt-naked. It wouldn’t have been unusual for something to be left on me; actually, it was stranger that everything had gone missing.

I dug deeper into my memories of that day.

Thanks to some unknown influence, my awareness was hazy. I knew for a fact that I’d been in the Artor underground.
But did I start in the same place where I drank the medicine?
I didn’t know for certain, but it was natural to think that that was not the case.
By this point, it was clear to me that this line of speculation was the correct one.
But in that case, I was left with one final and vitally important question.
That is:

“What’s troubling you, Big Sister?”

My train of thought had gotten that far when I heard a voice from behind me.
The voice from the outside brought me out of my contemplation, and I turned around.
…Not that I had to. It was Aira. Palmira, too. I thought they were at the table on the other end of the balcony, but they had come over without me noticing.

“Ah, uhhh… no, it’s nothing.”

“It’s not good to worry all alone,”

Palmira said flatly as she fixed me with her stare. I had tried to lie without even thinking about it.
I knew the gaze locked onto my eyes was full of strength. That look wasn’t nasty, it was pleading for something.
Without lingering, I turned my eyes to Aira. But she was looking back at me in the exact same way. It was something close to indignation, reproaching me.

“I think you’re strong, Big Sister. But that’s also why you look like you’re shouldering everything by yourself… Until now, we’ve left everything up to you, but — but I believe it would be better if you could rely on us more.”

Aira’s words were resolute, her expression unusually serious.

“Of course… Of course, I might be just be complaining about my share of the work. But, but — I want you to say things out loud. I want you to count on us. If it’s just listening, we can do that anytime you need it. So… don’t keep your troubles to yourself…”

“Chris. You’re with us, and we’re with you. I want you to know that.”

Aira and Palmira were pleading with me. The words they strained to tell me were an earnest plea.

I faltered under the weight of their unwavering gazes. No one had ever looked at me with those eyes, or said those words to me.
Even though I screamed for help, no one said, ‘Count on me.’
For anything, for everything, I relied on myself.
‘If I don’t do it myself’ — that’s what I thought, that’s what I did.
If no one will save me, I won’t count on anyone else.
That way, I’ll have no regrets.

But, now, these two people said to count on them. They begged me, ‘Please rely on us.’
So I didn’t know what to do.
If it were Leon, what would he say? Come to think of it, I’d heard it said that the two of us were similar. It was then —

[Right? That’s what I mean.]

…That’s what you mean, huh?

“…That’s right.”

Smiling wryly, I gently patted both of them on the head.
Friends, huh.
To rely on, to trust.
So I can rely on them.
Even if I do, it’ll be okay.

Something inside me smoothly faded away. Something like a curse.
A curse that was born inside me in the distant past.
Of course, I didn’t think that all of it had been resolved.
But, just a little.
I felt that just a little, it grew lighter.

“That’s right, really… yeah, I’m sorry. Then, could I ask you to listen to something, just for a bit?”

A slight pause, then I asked them.
They nodded happily.

–

–

“Yeah, so that’s what happened.”

From the very beginning, I’d never gotten used to relying on others.
Yesterday, I was keeping my promise as was only just, but today was different. I didn’t have much faith in whether I could convey things well.
But, for now, I said everything I could.
And I thought I might as well tell them about finding Leon in my room almost every morning. It would be hard to explain things without it.
“This is really blunt, but isn’t Lord Leon fairly seriously concerned about you, Big Sister?”

I took Aira’s sudden observation like a sucker punch to the face.
On reflex, I turned to her with an expression of disbelief. She looked perfectly serious.

“After all, he has never come to either of our rooms, and, um, even if you leave that aside, I feel like he’s been giving you special treatment pretty much from the beginning, you know?”

When I turned to Palmira, she nodded silently.

Eh–? Are you serious?

…I said, while I fumbled around for any knowledge I might have. I mean, sure, even when we met, I sensed that he kept glancing over at me even though Aira was the one talking to him.
Plus, Leon almost always had a smile on, but I did feel like he tended to show a wider variety of expressions when he was facing me.

“Furthermore, Big Sister, when you said you were a man yesterday, wasn’t he quite flustered? That seals it, don’t you think?”

“No, but this morning he showed up in my room like usual, you know?”

“As for that, couldn’t it be that Lord Leon ultimately decided that even if you used to be a man, it isn’t a problem?”

Aira said such terrifying things. And to make things worse, I couldn’t come up with any clear-cut rebuttal.

There are no words.

I might never be able to face Leon directly again.
I mean, now that I think about it, Aira’s information isn’t wrong — and does nothing in particular to resolve my worries. If anything, she’s simply added another headache to the pile.

Well, what about it?
In this case, should I take it as a sort of warning?
For my chastity or something?

“I think Lord Leon knows something.”

While I was working through the shock of my new worry, Palmira, who had been silent thus far, opened her mouth.
God, what in the world is it going to be next? I was instinctively concerned.

“I can’t really put it into words. But it’s because he knew something that he panicked yesterday, and today, he had that strange conversation with Chris in order to verify something… That’s what I think.”

Palmira chose her words carefully, speaking with a rare ambiguity.
Then, she seemed to be thinking very hard about something. Wordlessly, I waited for her to continue.
Even Aira, who’d been acting however she pleased until just now, was keeping quiet.

“…For example, today Lord Leon showed you a woman that matched the person in your dreams. I think that’s too much to be a coincidence.”

“…In other words?”

“Lord Leon realized there was some connection between you and that woman, and he tried to verify it… I think… Though I don’t know what his intention is.”

Even Palmira didn’t seem to have much confidence in her ambiguous comment, but when she put it that way, it did have a ring of truth to it.
I didn’t notice at all this morning when he opened with the marriage talk and segued into discussing the request.
But, through the lens of Palmira’s observations, the marriage business and the request were actually groundwork, arranged solely for the purpose of showing me that picture. Yeah, I can buy that.
And that might be exactly why, after he showed me the picture, he immediately retracted his request.

That certainly was unnatural.
But even so, I didn’t have the slightest clue about what Leon was after.

“Intention… aim, huh…”

“Later… if, for example, it isn’t Big Sister but the substituted Miss Chris that has what he needs, or something — ”

“So he actually needs her for the marriage interview?”

Sensing Aira’s discomfort as she began to talk about something mysterious, I prodded her to clarify.

“Not the marriage interview, something else.”

“Something else… like what?”

“That I don’t know, but…”

What was Aira thinking, saying something like that? I found it difficult to understand, but I could sense that the information so far had tipped off her intuition.
Something else, huh?

I pondered Aira’s words.
As a result, we ended up heading to the capital. Our secondary objective was to collect our compensation.
But thinking about rationally, something wasn’t right.
One and a half million was definitely big money. But that was from our point of view. Based on how easily Guibenague offered that same sum, it wasn’t that much for a noble, was it?
Though it was on the smaller side, Leon was a noble that in command of a military force. Was it possible that he’d be unable to produce even that amount of money?

Long story short, Leon wanted to take us — no, me — to the capital, one way or another. Why?
For the marriage interview?

Was that it?
Had I fully trusted him, that would’ve been my conclusion.
But was it really like that?
I couldn’t put my finger on it, but something was definitely fishy.

…I should probably remain vigilant.

“Anyway, good talk, guys.”

I had a feeling.

“Was it helpful?”

If I were to answer honestly, I couldn’t really tell.
But sure, I was able to hear views I might not have been able to think of myself, and in that respect, it was pretty productive.
And… I felt a little more at ease.
I’ll take what help I can get.
In this case, it might be for the best.

“Yeah, thanks.”

I gave them my honest gratitude.
The two of them smiled, looking happy.