Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi - Chapter 333

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“Sui, can you carry these two?”

““Yes~””

[8] Sui grew until she’s about the size of a carriage. More than enough to carry the twins. [1] [5] “Woah!”

“She’s much bigger!”

“Right, get on top now, quickly.”

“Wait, we’re supposed to ride on this?”

As expected, they were filled with doubts.

“It’s fine, it’s fine, just get on. Sui’s a very good ride.” I assured them.

Thankfully, the twins hopped onto Sui without further fussing.

“Woah, it’s soft.”

“Yeah, like sitting on a jelly.” [5]

“Right, let’s go, Sui!” [5]

“Woah! It’s fast!”

“Yahoo! Go Slime, go!”

As I had half expected, those two began to make trouble almost as soon as Sui started moving, [6] doing ridiculous stunts such as leaning forward on Sui and waving their hands all over the place like a pair of children sticking their heads out from car windows.

“If they fall, we should just leave them,” said Fer.

That’s harsh but luckily, less than an hour later, we managed to reach the Eastern Forest where the Orc Settlement was without losing anyone. [5]

“Let’s walk from here,”

“Umu, be careful not to get distracted. You two as well,” said Fer with a pointed glare at the twins.

“Yeah, yeah, we know.”

“That’s right, we’re professionals too, you know?”

Well, I supposed they have a point, being C Rankers and all…

Anyway, we went into the forest with Fer on point, heading for the Orc settlement.

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“There, right there…”

The Orc Settlement was situated in the middle of a clearing. [5] [8] Hidden behind trees, we studied the place. In the middle of the clearing was a scattering of rough buildings. Most of them still looked half-built.

“Umu, there are about 150 of them. No sign of an Orc King.”

Still, that’s 150 Orcs.

““[9] A target-rich environment,”” [3] observed Dora-chan as he nodded to himself. [5] ““At least that’s something.””

““Sui gets to pew pew them~?”” [3] Sui bounced up and down happily.

[8] “Hold it,” said Fer suddenly. “We won’t be going.”

““Eh?””

[8] With a flick of his head, Fer declared, “Our job is to be on the lookout for high ranking monsters.”

[9] ““Eeehh? I know it’s just a bunch of weak Orcs but someone still gotta deal with them right?””

[9] ““Sui don’t get to pew pew~?””

“Heheheh, fwahahahah!” Fer suddenly swung his malevolent gaze towards the twins.

Sui and Dora-chan also turned to look at them.

[6] I have a bad feeling about this…

“You two!”

[9] “Hiii!!!”

[9] “The two of you will deal with the settlement!”

“… w-wait, what!!??”

[9] “Um… Fer?”

[9] “No, no, no, that’s a whole settlement of Orcs, you know?”

[9] “That’s right, that’s right, that’s over a hundred Orcs there!!” [5] [6] However, Fer was merciless. “[5] Go.”

[9] “I-impossible!”

[9] “Die! We will die!!” [5] [8] “Do not worry, I shall cast Barrier magic on you. You will not die facing the Orcs, however…” [3] Fer suddenly grinned. His teeth shone like knives, “If you insist on staying, I shall eat you for lunch.”

[9] “Hiii!!!” [5]

“Well?” the grin widened, exposing more knife-like teeth. [5]

“…w-we’ll go! We’ll fight the Orcs!”

“M-me too!”

The idiot twins grasped the handles of their swords. [6] I could hear their swords clank and tremble and they were withdrawn from their scabbard.

After a deep calming breath, the twins slipped out of the hiding place and stepped silently towards the little bundle of houses. [8] Their feet made no sound as they padded closer.

Once they were close enough.

“Damnit, take this!!”

“Oryaaa!” [5] [8] Ahh, it’s a direct attack.

“Buhiiii!! Buhiii!!”

Screams of panicking Orcs resounded in the air.

“Sei!”

“Ora!”

The two slashed desperately at the Orcs. [6] The twins had indeed earned their places as C Rank Adventurers. Their movements were swift, vicious and their reactions well-trained.

However, they were also overwhelmingly outnumbered.

Orcs armed with fists and clubs roared and bashed recklessly at the twins. Eventually striking the two as fatigue began to set in.

“Tch, there are too many of them!! Ora! Oraa!” [3] [8] Luke snatched a club off an Orc who was about to attack him, threw it at another advancing Orc, kicked the first one in the chest and stabbed a third with his sword.

“Damnit, die! Die!” [3] Irvine was desperately swinging and slashing at the Orcs around him, even while taking hits from blunt fists in the face and chest.

““ ““Bugiiii!!!”” ””

The second wave of Orcs was swarming towards the desperate duo.

“O-oi, will those two be alright?” [5] [8] True to his word, Fer was sitting on his ass while I trembled next to him.

Fer smirked, “They won’t die here, I did put a Barrier around them.”

“That’s good but… aren’t they taking too many hits for it to be a proper Barrier?”

[9] “The Barrier is only good for defending their vitals, I still want them to suffer.”

“… …” Fer, you’re really vicious, aren’t you?

“Aaaahhhh!!” [3] Luke had taken a bad hit from a random fist.

Seeing his brother in peril, Irvine broke from his own fight and slashed at the Orc that had punched Luke.

[8] In that moment of distraction, an Orc’s club came down hard on Irvine’s back.

“Guhh!!!”

Neither of the brothers died or fainted from these heavy attacks. Looks like Fer was good with his word. Though suffering like this might actually be worse…

[8] Finally, I can’t stand seeing the twins suffer anymore, “H-hey, shouldn’t someone go and save them?”

[9] “Why? This is their punishment for taking my food.” [5] [9] “Wait, what?”

[9] “Humph, weakling insects who dare to take meat from my bowl must suffer!” [5] [9] “F-fer, aren’t you taking this grudge a little too seriously?” I stammered. “How many days has it been already?!”

[9] “Too seriously? The crime of taking my food should have been death. They should thank me for my leniency.”

[9] “Leniency? Thank you? Isn’t your grudge over a bowl of food deeper than the ocean?” I gestured frantically at the exhausted twins. “I don’t care about that, do something to save them!”

[9] “Mu, save them from what? They won’t die. If you’re so worried go and save them yourself. The experience should do you good.”

“Whaat? Why me!”

“[5] You have Absolute Defence, so the hits won’t even reach you. Go.”

[9] “No, no, no, my issue is not physical, it’s psychological!!” [5] [9] “Annoying. Just go.”

Plop.

Ugh, I had been pushed out of the hiding place by Fer and- [5]

““Buhiii!!””

That cry was followed by a stampede of feet.

“Damn you, Fer! I’ll remember this!!”

[8] I snatched my Mithril Spear from the [Item Box] and steadied my breath. Right, right, I can do this. I’ve dealt with plenty of Orcs before, both inside and outside the dungeon.

““Buhiii!!!””

“Sei!”

[8] The tip of my spear stabbed through the chest of the first Orc that came charging at me.

Don—-

[8] An Orc ran into Absolute Defence as though he had run into an invisible wall. I wrenched my spear out and stabbed that one in the chest too.

“Phew…”

That was harrowing. I wanted a moment to gather my wits but the next group of Orcs came thudding towards me…

““Pugiiii!!!””

“Tsch, there’s too many of them. Take this, Stone Bullets, Stone Bullets!”

Hyun hyun hyun, stones exploded from my hand like buck shots.

““Buhii?””

As I continued to level up, the power behind the pebbles I shot increased and they penetrated the Orcs like real bullets. [6] Some ran away, others were trampled by their comrades. I rushed forward with my spear-

“Toriaa!”

-and thrust the sharp end of the spear into the chest of the downtrodden Orcs.

[6] Hey, all’s fair in love and war!

“Phew, hey, I don’t have time to deal with you guys. I need to back up the twins!”

I hurried over to where the twins were struggling against a large number of Orcs.

“Hang in there! You’ve killed off a lot, just a bit more!” [5]

Thanks to the twins’ desperate struggle just now, about half of the Orcs had been taken down.

“Mukouda-san!!” [5] [9] “Focus on your fight!”

[9] “Yes!”

The twins suddenly became more energetic.

“Curse you! I’m not dying here!”

“Ouu! I’m gonna kill you lot and go home!”

Both were only covered in bruises and scratches [6] despite having taken several fatal hits. In fact, I don’t think they even realised they should have been dead several times by now. [1] Looks like Fer’s petty Barrier really works.

[5]

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“Sei! Sei! Sei!”

““B-Buhii!!””

[9] “Haahh… haah… haah…”

[9] “I-it’s finally… haah…”

“O-over…”

[8] Our final fight was actually against an Orc General. [1] It took all three of us working desperately together for goodness knows how long before the final boss was defeated.

The twins had already collapsed to the ground. [1] Although there were no fatal wounds, both were covered in injuries and gasping for breath.

I barely have enough energy left to keep upright.

“Is it finally over?”

[8] The bored voice of Fer came from behind us as my familiars came over. Dora-chan actually yawned.

“What do you mean finally over?! You could have helped!”

[9] ““Yeah, well, me and Sui would have stepped in since you guys were taking so looonggg but Fer won’t let us.””

““Sui would have helped~”” said Sui as she bounced anxiously next to me.

“Humph, of course. This is their punishment for daring to lay hands on my food.”

Gununu, this Fer!!

We could have finished this ages ago if you had let Dora-chan and Sui help!

Whatever, what’s done is done. I tiredly withdraw a Magic Bag (extra large) and handed it to Fer.

“Anyway, I can barely move, so you’ll have to collect the Orcs.”

“Humph, since it can’t be helped… Dora, Sui, you two start collecting the Orcs too.”

““Yeah, I guess…””

““Sui will help collect all the Mister Piggies~~””

[8] After my familiars went off to collect the Orcs, I hobbled over to the twins using my spear as a crutch.

“Hey, you two alright?”

“I’m alive, somehow…”

“Yeah, me too…”

“Drink this,” [3] I handed them one of Sui’s special high-grade potions.

“A-a potion?”

“Th-thank you…”

The two wearily drank their potion. [1] Soon after that, their injuries closed up and they got to their feet.

“Phew, we made it somehow.”

“Yeah, we managed to stay alive.”

“Thank you for helping us, Mukouda-san.”

The idiot twins appeared unusually subdued. [1] Well, they did just go through quite a harrowing situation after all.

[6] Even though Fer had cast Barrier on them, it was a petty one that still allow hits to get in making them fear for their life. [5] [9] “How could Fer-sama be so terrible?”

[9] “Yeah, yeah, sending just the two of us against 150 Orcs…”

[9] “Ahem, about that. It’s, er, your punishment.”

[9] “Eh?”

[9] “Punishment?”

[4] “Yes, remember that time you took his steak bowl?”

[9] “Eh, but that was ages ago!”

[9] “We apologised! Mukouda-san even made another for him!”

“That’s all true, however, Fer is not one to forgive easily. According to him ‘the crime of taking my food should have been death’, so please properly reflect.”

I can’t control Fer if he goes on a rampage, so it’s up to the twins to learn their lessons and not make the same mistakes again.

[9] “… so, it’s because of one steak bowl…”

[9] “… we nearly died because of food…”

[9] “Yes, I’m glad you understand this. Never touch Fer’s food again, ever.”

The twins nodded so hard I was afraid their heads would fall off their necks.

[8] No matter how stupid they are, I’m pretty sure they would never touch Fer’s food, ever again.

I’m glad.

I got caught up in their ‘punishment’ and ended up fighting desperately too.

I’m tired, damn it!

Eguchi Ren: The moral of the story

The crime of touching Fer’s food is death. Therefore, never touch Fer’s food.

[Gumihou: 22 x [5], 18 x [8], 36 x [9] notes. Well, needs must.]