Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi - Chapter 354

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The next day.

I took one of the Offal Drop from the [Item Box] and opened up the leaf package.

“Hmm, there’s the heart, liver, large white intestines, tongue, tripe, small intestines…”

Through [Appraisal] I found that I have offal from both Dungeon Cows and Dungeon Pigs in a single packet.

“Since we have all kinds of different parts, they could be made into different dishes. But first, I must have a [9] Horumonyaki aka Grilled Offal!”

To properly gorge ourselves with offal meats, it has to be Grilled Offal.

Also, since we have the BBQ stove, we can grill it over a charcoal fire~

[8] Naturally, we’re not going to eat every kind of offal. It would take too much trouble to process things like stomach, heart, liver etc. For this Horumonyaki, let’s go with the large and small intestines only.

Just the thought of the fat dripping off the large intestines and sizzling into puffs of smoke on the charcoal fire made me gulp.

Slurp…

Ahem, naturally, Horumonyaki could also be made with other parts of the offal but [8] nearly all of them have to be processed differently. For example, the liver should be sliced and steeped in milk to get rid of any blood and funny smells, while the beef stomach or tripe should be cleaned by rubbing rock salt all over and rinsing with vinegar until no visible impurities, then the entire surface must be scraped with a sharp knife.

[8]

The only thing that did not need much processing was the upper portion of the small intestines. Cleaning the large intestines involve a lot of labour but I especially wanted to eat it, so let’s goooo!

I took out both, large and small intestines from the two dungeon monsters. Luckily, the small intestines just needed to be steeped in bicarbonate of soda and some scrubbing to get rid of the unwanted smells.

However, for the large intestines, I first wash and soak them until the water runs fairly clear, removing any filth I can see. Next, I covered them with flour and knead the meat.

To get rid of the smell, it’s important to rub away all the sliminess as much as possible. After kneading and squeezing the intestines, I turned them inside out and squeezed them again before rinsing off the flour with clean water.

I know from the Internet that several large Horumonyaki stores use this method to clean the large intestines, so that’s good enough for me.

“Huh, I knew that it’s going to take quite a lot of work but this much is needed for the sake of delicious food.”

I kept on working the meat, squeezing, kneading, rinsing and repeating the whole thing until I felt the offal was suitably clean before setting it out to drain on a colander. Meanwhile, I got started on other prep work.

“Phew~ somehow I managed to get everything together,”

The next prep work involved cutting the offal into bite-size pieces and mixing a miso-based marinade consisting of miso, sake, mirin, sugar, gochuchang [10], grated garlic, grated ginger and sesame oil.

For variety, I only marinade half of the intestines. The unmarinated offal would be brushed with a yakiniku sauce as it cooked.

Instead of using the yakiniku sauce straight from the bottle, I decided to mix myself a high-class, restaurant-style yakiniku sauce by adding good vinegar, soy sauce and other seasonings to a standard yakiniku sauce.

Once all the prep work was done, it was time to move everything to the garden and fire up the BBQ stove.

Please read this at dot com~

The sizzling of meat filled the air, interspersed with the occasional pops of fat exploding on the burning embers.

White smoke spiralled into the air, carrying with it the scent of grilled miso sauce that stimulates the appetite.

[8] The entire grill was covered with small and large intestines, grilling slowly over a low fire as I carefully turned the meat with tongs.

“Oi, not yet?”

““Hurry up! Hurry up!”

““Master~? Not yet~?””

All three of my familiars were drooling as they stared at the top of the barbecue grill.

“It will be ready soon. Hm… I think these should be done.”

[11]

I quickly picked off the grilled cow intestines I deemed were ‘done’ and placed them on [6] a bed of rice before serving them to my familiars.

“There you go,”

“These are organs? Hmm, the smell is good but…”

“Well, do give it a try. I can guarantee that it’s good.”

“Umu, I supposed…”

Fer took a large bite of offal and rice and chewed slowly. Suddenly, several more bites of rice and offal disappeared. [1] Dora-chan and Sui had already thrown themselves into eating.

“Hahaha, it’s good, right? Oh, these should be done too.” I collected a tray of the grilled pork intestines. I let the pork sit longer on the grill since, well, it was pork after all. Better to be safe than sorry.

Woah, I had to swallow the pool of saliva in my mouth from how fragrant and delicious these grilled pork intestines looked.

Fufufu, I served myself some pure, miso-sauce marinated grilled intestines with no rice. Today, I plan to enjoy my grilled meats differently.

To go with the meat, I took out something special from my [Item Box]. Chilled Company A beer.

Yesssss, crisp chilled beer and freshly grilled pork intestines here I come~

Crack, tssss…

“Right, let’s get started~!”

First, I placed a piece of the slightly dripping piece of pork intestine into my mouth.

“Ooof! Hot, hot… fuuhh… hot humpf, but, delicious~!”

The meat was soft and fatty on the inside and slightly crisp on the outside. The strong, miso-based marinade blended well with the chewy texture. In fact, the more I chew, the juicier it became.

After reluctantly swallowing the treat in my mouth, I chased it down with beer. [5]

“This is the best!”

Yes, this is the ultimate salaryman’s treat after a hard day’s work. Cold beer and good savoury snacks to go with it.

I alternate between the savoury miso-marinated grilled offal and a cold beer chaser.

“Hahhh…. this is the best.”

While absorbed in the perfect combo that could well be a miracle of life, I was disturbed by voices clamouring for more food.

“Oi, yours is different. Give me.”

““Me too!””

““Sui wants to try too~””

“Yes, yes, here you go~”

I moved some of the offal on the tray into their bowls [6] along with a good helping of rice.. [5]

[11]

“Hmm, Dungeon Pig’s offal is pretty good too.”

““Yeah, I can’t believe offal could be good, let alone delicious!”

“Offal could be delicious when prepared properly. However, the preparations could be quite troublesome.”

““Sui thinks it’s delicious too~~””

We continued to enjoy the charcoal-grilled offal.

[5] Speaking of which, I had completely forgotten about people being attracted by the smell of my cooking. I mean, it had happened several times before but since this was private property, I didn’t expect people to actually dare to poke their nose in. [5]

But… [5]

““Oi…”” Dora-chan was flapping his wings anxiously and glancing at the iron gates.

[6] I guess his time being stalked by Elland-san had made him especially sensitive to strangers.

“Ah, just ignore them,” I said, doing my best not to look in the direction of the gates.

““I want to, but I can’t eat in peace with those people watching!””

[6] Ugh, now that he had called attention to the people at the gate, I don’t feel comfortable either.

Finally, I turned to look.

A bunch of kids had stuck their faces against the gate and were drooling slightly.

Among them were the kids who aspired to be Adventurers whom I had encountered yesterday morning.

“What are you guys doing here…”

It was one thing to avoid strangers. It was quite another to keep eating while someone I know was drooling over my food.

Social convention made me turn to Dora-chan and reluctantly said, “I guess it can’t be helped…”

[Gumihou: Deleted the last line. Sometimes, it’s good to know when to stop]

[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs

[2] Structural Change: Combine 3 paragraphs

[3] Structural Change: Combine paragraph & dialogue

[4] Structural Change: Change passive sentence to dialogue

[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information

[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose

[7] Add Dialogue Tag

[8] Creative Licence Taken – More detailed description on how offal is dealt with

Cleaning small intestines:

Cleaning large intestines:

[9] Horumonyaki – Grilled ‘hormones’ (lol, yeah but not really)

‘Horumon’ here refers to ‘offal’. In 1940, Kitazato Shigeo, a chef in Osaka devised this dish and registered a trademark for the word ‘Horumonyaki’.

The word ‘hourumono’ (放る物) literally means ‘discarded things’, so it’s pretty apt.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horumonyaki

By the way, aside from the standard ‘offal’ things one might expect, liver, heart etc, things like oesophagus, pulmonary artery, pancreas, diaphragm and rectum are also part of the ‘horumon’ menu items. All four stomachs of the cow are part of the menu too!