Toradora! - Volume 4 - Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It took an hour and a half to get to Ami’s villa by limited express train.

It might have been because the summer break didn’t quite align with the Obon holidays, but only half of the unreserved seating was full. The five of them secured three-seater seats beside each other and moved them to face each other.

Ami carelessly threw her expensive, brand-name Boston bag into the luggage rack first.

“No way~! It’s been so long since I’ve seen everyone! How have you all been? Ahhh, Minori-chan, I so wanted to see you~!”

She might have done it just for the summer vacation, but her flowing hair was slightly dyed and looked prettier than usual. She pushed her hair back, as though nostalgia had brought her to the brink of tears, and turned her angelic smile to Minori. 

“You ran away from us,” Kitamura quipped but was completely ignored.

“Yuusaku, really. You’re always like that~! Right, your glasses! Aha ha~!” Ami’s sweet words were completely hollow. She threw a smile at her childhood friend Kitamura.

“And you, Takasu-kun~!” 

She turned right around and practically threw herself against Ryuuji’s chest, grinning. Her face became round and innocent as a baby’s. Ryuuji took a step back instinctively. Still smiling, Ami took a step forward to corner him.

“Nooooo waaaay~! Hey, hey, what were you doing during summer break? You didn’t call me or message me at all~! That wasn’t any fun for me~!”

“…You never gave me your phone number or your email address…”

“Huh, I haven’t? Ha ha! More importantly, this trip is exciting, right? You’re excited about it, right?”

As she turned a deaf ear to him, she lowered her voice. A wicked flame burned in her eyes. For a sneaky moment, her cold fingers crept onto Ryuuji’s wrist.

Her figure was perfect in her simple tank top and jeans. Her incredibly long limbs were drawing stares, too. 

“I kind of feel like I’ve seen that girl before.”

“Isn’t she a model?”

Two college-age girls whispered to each other. 

When Ami noticed, she smiled in satisfaction and nodded.

“Oh, oh no! After I washed my face today, I only put on sunscreen! I don’t even have makeup on! No way, my skin isn’t even that nice…oh no…”

She put her silky smooth, milky face between her hands and frowned as though troubled. 

Her bare face is that beautiful with no makeup, Ryuuji thought. Her whole body was thoroughly showered by envious stares from those surrounding her.

“But it’s a trip, right? I don’t need makeup or anything~! I’ll. Go. As. My. Plain. Self!”

Kya ha! That was the finishing blow. She had lopped off the heads of the women in the train car who had committed the sin of putting on a thick layer of foundation. Ami’s beautiful features grew even more radiant, like a certain countess who drank sacrificial blood. Her small, bare face was as charming as an angel’s, the color of milk and rose with large glittering eyes like a Chihuahua. 

The aura she broadcasted seemed to be yelling at full strength. I! Am! A! Beauty! You homely girls should think yourselves fortunate just to be able to breathe the same air as this chosen Ami-sama! Mwa ha ha! You may bow your heads to me! She seemed in top form even on that day.

Then she added a finishing touch.

“Oh, right, right, Takasu-kuuun, it looks like Aisaka-san still hasn’t come, so maybe you should call her~? I don’t mind at all if she just doesn’t come though.”

She completely ignored Taiga, who was in front of her, and turned a troubled look up at Ryuuji while snuggling up beside him. At that point, the train moved with a jolt.

“Hey, sit down, you lecher.” Taiga poked Ami in the eyes.

“Ah!” Ami fell hard, butt-first into the window seat. Taiga had dug in all the way up to her first finger joint.

“Th-that hurt…!”

“I thought I’d poke out those eyes for you, since they’re so useless. I’m right here.”

“Oh-ohh…you’re so tiny, I didn’t see you…”

“See, they don’t work.” Shall we do it again? This time I’ll get my finger all the way in.

Minori stopped Taiga, who had her small hand up in an ominous V sign.

“Now, now! Please dismiss my eyes from that and stop right there for today!”

Minori, who had come between them, pushed in her cute, double-lidded eyelids with her nails. She seemed to purposefully be making distinct double-lids like a foreigner’s. 

Uhh. Ryuuji was taken aback by this weirdness, but Taiga didn’t waver.

“Minorin, don’t make weird faces. Sit down. You’ll fall over.”

Taiga made Minori sit next to Ami. After them, Taiga casually grabbed Ryuuji’s hand as he was still standing in the passageway and practically threw him so he was sitting next to Minori. Taiga herself was facing Ami. It seemed this was the beginning of Taiga backing him, which touched his heart. Out of necessity, Kitamura sat facing Minori. In other words, Kitamura was sitting next to Taiga, but Taiga did her best to get as close to the window as possible. As though to pretend he didn’t exist, she was firmly facing only Ami.

“I feel an oppressive force… like a really low but thick wall or something…” Ami turned her face away in disgust.

“I’m so small, I couldn’t possibly be smothering you.” 

Bam. Taiga stomped her foot and continued to stare into Ami’s face. “Oh. Dimhuahua.”

Dim Chihuahua. It was Taiga’s new shortened nickname for Ami.

“Are you talking to me?!”

“You have bags under your eyes.”

“Uhh…”

Prod. Taiga pointed at Ami’s eyes to indicate the defect.

Even Minori was staring intently at Ami’s face. “Huh, even Ahmin has shadows on her beautiful skin. Oh dear…”

My condolences. For some reason, Kitamura was politely lowering his head. 

Now that they had mentioned it, Ryuuji saw shadows under Ami’s eyes. Her perfect, rosy skin hadn’t changed, though, and she was still more than beautiful enough compared to normal people. 

“What happened to you…?” Ryuuji asked. “You’ve got a few wrinkles. Did you not get sleep?”

“W-wait, even you, Takasu-kun? How could you look at someone’s face and say they have bags or wrinkles?! It’s not like my skin would have something like…naugh!” Ami pulled out a hand mirror with a Chanel symbol on it and looked at herself. She shrieked boisterously, dropping the mirror. Clack.

Fingers shaking, her voice quivered dramatically. “Ahh, what’s happened? I can’t believe it. I really have been busy lately, like really…ahh, I don’t like this. What am I going to do…? Maybe I should die…” Clutching her forehead, she closed her eyes. She really did seem shocked. 

Minori held Ami’s shoulders and swung her around in an attempt to lift her spirits. “Ahmin, keep it together! What happened?”

“I’ve been home the entire summer at my parent’s house and focusing on work there. Then I finally got time off and I meant to take the last train yesterday to come back, but there was a small delay. The train left me behind and, in the end, I got on the first train for this morning. I’ve only slept three hours…haah…”

Oh dear. Minori and Kitamura’s eyes oozed sympathy. Ryuuji also thought, oh dear, but the only things his eyes oozed were murder and madness. On top of that, Taiga was reaching her hand out to touch the aforementioned dark shadows.

“Right, it must have been so hard for you, Ahmin,” Minori said. “So that means your short summer vacation is finally starting today?”

Ami said, “That’s right.”

“Hmm…in that case, since we’re finally on this trip, we need to make sure you have lots of fun, Ahmin. A batter can’t just hit whenever they want. They need to fit into the batting order. So the boys have to come up with topics of conversation to fix Ahmin’s exhaustion. Aim for a home run! Batter up!”

Regardless of what Minori said, her boy team only had two people on it. 

Across from Minori, Kitamura said, “The lineup, huh? Then, let’s have a debate about something we have in common. All right, Ami, what topic do you want to discuss? Do you want to talk about where this year’s pennant race is going to be? Or where the high school baseball tournament is going to be? Or do you want to debate the merits of the college entrance exams we’ll be taking next year?”

He swung big and missed. 

Next, it was Ryuuji’s turn.

“Don’t ask about that,” he said. “Anyway let’s eat breakfast for now. I brought onigiri.”

“No way, seriously?! Yay, I’m so happy!” Minori jumped up and applauded. 

Next to her, Ami, who was battling with Taiga, said, “Oni­giri?! No way, I’m so psyched! I haven’t had anything to eat or drink since this morning!” Her eyes shone.

Kitamura also looked boisterously happy and pushed his glasses up. 

Ryuuji had made a base hit. He promptly opened the cloth-wrapped package in his luggage and served two onigiri per person. Taiga tried to keep away from Kitamura as much as she could, and Ami said, “Hey!” 

Minori was practically folded over with her belly on her knees as she reached toward Ryuuji to get them. “Wow, they feel like boobs,” she said. Holding one in each hand, she returned to her seat, seeming satisfied, and took a bite with great delight. “Whoa, it’s so good! Takasu-kun, you made these?! These onigiri are super, super delicious! Come to think of it, they even have ume in them! It’s ume-azing! You hit a home run right from the start, didn’t you?!”

She flailed her legs and hit Kitamura across from her. 

“Yeah, this is great.” Kitamura seemed to be in a good mood, even though he’d been kicked.

“Eating simple onigiri on a train is great, right~?! Couldn’t expect less from Takasu-kun! Would you be my bride?” Ami’s large eyes glimmered, her words seeming to invoke his earlier nightmare.

“No.”

His answer was quick. He wasn’t tempted by a Chihuahua with seaweed stuck to her lips.

While Ami clucked at him with cold eyes, Ryuuji turned indifferently away.

“Anyway, what did you do during summer vacation?” He was aiming for another home run subject…or rather, he was doing what he and Taiga had agreed on earlier.

“I really only got to work the whole time,” said Ami as she continued to chew. Ah, I’m so, so tired. “Club, work, club, club, work, work, work, club, club, club, work,” said Minori, the workaholic. 

Kitamura nodded. “I was also mostly at both softball club and the student council. Last year, my great-grandfather passed away, so I went to the country for his memorial service.”

Then it was Taiga’s turn. Go ahead. Ryuuji motioned at her with his eyes, and Taiga nodded slightly to indicate she understood.

“I compiled CDs with spirit voices on them into an MP3. Here, Minorin, listen.” Taiga suddenly pulled white earphones from her bag, which she had ready to go, and put them into Minori’s ears. 

An infamous reproduction of the mysterious “♪…Senpai… ♪” voice leaked out of them at a high volume. Buh! At that moment, something shot out of Minori’s mouth. It went straight across just like a bullet and hit Kitamura’s forehead with a splat! Kitamura held his forehead as he groaned and put his face in his hands. The thing that fell into his lap was a seed. Minori had spat out the ume seed.

“S-sorry Kitamura-kun! Actually, wait…Taiga?!” Minori apologized to Kitamura, pulled out the earphones, and scolded Taiga, her voice cracking.

“Sorry!” Taiga said and shrugged her shoulders.

“What do you mean sorry?! What was that?! That was that thing, right?! That thing where the underclassman calls out from the land of the dead? N-n-n-n-n-n-no! What am I going to do? They called me! I’m going to be dragged down into the land of the dead, too! Come to think of it, that underclassman bears a deep grudge!”

“Kushieda, calm down. First of all, please do something with this seed.”

“Oh my, the Kushieda seed destiny.”

Kitamura handed the ume seed that had fallen into his lap back to Minori and turned a sincere smile towards Taiga.

“Aisaka, do you like scary stuff like that?” he asked.

“Huh! Uh…I don’t know…if I like…it…maybe…I do…?”

“Oh, that’s surprising.”

Unexpectedly faced with Kitamura’s incandescent smile up close, Taiga was a wreck as she uneasily picked grains of rice off her fingertips.

Minori got out of her seat and sat down on top of Ami’s knees, reaching forward to grab Taiga’s shoulders and shake her back and forth. “Why?! Why is that the first I’ve heard of this?! You weren’t interested in that before, were you?!” Even though they were in public, she raised her voice, red-faced as she flailed in a desperate attempt to get Taiga to deny it.

Ami seemed to be in pain under her. “You’re heavy…” she groaned, but Minori didn’t seem to mind.

Taiga and Ryuuji exchanged glances and faintly nodded at each other. It seemed that Minori really couldn’t handle horror.

Yes—this was the big maneuver Taiga had cooked up for this trip. Its title was, “Scare Minorin and Have the Knight Appear Plan.” 

“So Minorin really can’t handle horror, spirits, or anything relating to the occult,” Taiga had told Ryuuji at Pseudobucks. “She mentioned it in her introduction on the first day of school. And when she just saw a sign for a horror movie in the street, she had goosebumps all over, so I think it’s probably really true.” 

So, Ryuuji and Taiga were going to cooperate and use phantom warfare to scare Minori on this trip,. Then, at the final moment, when she was in the very depths of terror, Ryuuji would appear. “It’s okay, because no matter what happens, I’ll protect you!” The supernatural phenomena would stop, and Minori would be enthralled.

“Takasu-kun, you really did protect me…Takasu-kun, you’re my very own Daimajin demon…” she would say. Reluctant as they were to do it, something that drastic would probably bring Minori and Ryuuji closer.

Minori, who had no clue what was going to happen, said, “I’m confiscating that,” and tucked Taiga’s iPod into her pocket. “Seriously, Taiga, no more scary stuff! You can’t listen to weird things like that! Let’s get pumped and get rid of Ahmin’s exhaustion with a wonderful and academic topic! Like, we can talk about what kind of rice balls we like or about kids or about ramen or exercise!”

“Ohh, right, right, so a scary story I have from last week…” Ami said, clutching Minori, who had climbed onto her knees like a child. 

Minori quickly shook her head. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! That’s enough! Ahmin, you don’t have to talk about that!”

“Hmm, it’s not that scary. It’s a funny story. It’s funny.” Ami grinned and spoke sweetly into Minori’s ear.

“…So it’s about when I went to the studio for a magazine shoot last week.

“I went into an empty room to fix my makeup. The makeup rooms in that studio are super small and there are sinks in them, but they look sooo old. The water pipes are all exposed, and the lighting is dark, and the mirrors are a little cracked, and I don’t really like them. But then, it’s not like I can choose the studio.

“They said the makeup artist was already taking off makeup, so I had to go in a room by myself and…it was spattered with blood. The sink, the mirror, the floor. It was everywhere. It was covered in blood. It was red and totally smelled like blood. It was definitely…blood. It was someone’s blood.”

“That is scary…” Minori covered her face with her hands, and her body went limp. Ryuuji couldn’t tell if she was pretending or serious, but her eyes rolled back, showing the whites, and she started slipping out of Ami’s lap. 

Ami firmly grasped Minori and pulled her up, smiling brightly and rocking Minori as though pacifying a baby, “No way, I’m sorry, I’m sorry! No, no, it’s a joke! Aha ha! The blood was because one of the staff had a bloody nose! The cameraman at the time was a super difficult person and when he didn’t get his way, he threw around film box. And there was a staff member who got that in the face~! Their nose bent like ninety degrees~! It’s so stupid, right~?!”

Aha ha ha ha. Ami laughed lightly by herself as the limited express train rocked and clunked. Ryuuji silently decided that he didn’t really like that joke.

“I-Is that so…? Right, that’s a relief…” Minori raised her face and huffed, Ami still holding her. She wiped the excited sweat from her brow. “I was certain there was a bizarre murderer upstairs disposing of severed remains in the sink. Then it clogged, and the drain pipes burst, and flesh and blood were bubbling up from the sink drain. The hair would be all tangled up like, this and there would be flesh like roast pork, and a big molar would plunk out and… waah, it’s scary.”

Immediately, Minori was once again pouring sweat. 

This time, Ami said nothing as she casually shifted Minori back into the seat next to her. 

A delicate silence fell over the group.

Maybe it was Ryuuji’s imagination, but that image was even grosser than Ami’s joke story.

Minori didn’t stop. She twisted her arms around absently. “But, but, you know, the eyeball would just pop right out. What would you do if there was an eye? And Taiga, what if that mess was me? What would you do? Hey, Ahmin, what would you do?! No, that would just end with me washed down the drain! I don’t want to die like thaaaaat!” Minori roared, flexing her arms between her thighs. 

Eyes on Minori, Ryuuji’s gaze glinted like a too-sharp knife. He wasn’t plotting how to dispose of a corpse—he was simply thinking. What would he call this type of person? An explosive self-scarer? Minori would take something frightening and spook herself further by making it scarier and scarier. Anyway, the plan to scare Minori was already going better than he thought it would because of the unexpected assist from Ami.

At that point, Kitamura raised his voice unexpectedly, “Whoa.” 

The glare outside grew. Ami, who was on the window side, and Taiga and Ryuuji, and finally, Minori raised their faces. 

Then, all at once, the color in Minori’s face returned and her eyes shone like usual. “Wh-whoa! We’re here, we’re here! It’s beautiful!”

Outside the limited express train, the horizon glittered, the Pacific Ocean an increasingly more radiant blue and gold in a shower of midsummer sun. Under the shining blue sky, the August scenery dazzled as far as the eye could see.

***

“It’s aaaaamaaaaaazinnnnnnnng!!”

Amazing-mazing-ing… Minori’s voice seemed to echo across the sky.

They disembarked at the station for the villa and went down a road that detoured through the mountain for about twenty minutes. When they left the forest path scattered with volcanic ash, their field of view brightened. And then, it appeared.

Ami turned around. “Sorry for making you all walk.” 

“It’s real,” Taiga grimaced. 

After Minori, Kitamura, and Ryuuji exclaimed to their hearts’ content, the three of them didn’t have anything more to say. Their eyes opened wide, and like a herd of small, frightened animals, they naturally froze as they looked at the scene below them.

They had heard the villa was near the ocean, but they hadn’t expected it to be like this.

“Y-you really are rich. This might be rude, but it’s only now sinking in… Ami’s house is about three times as big as mine.” Kitamura finally squeezed out words, shaking his head in surprise.

“Really, seriously, Yuusaku, what are you saying? This is normal. Nor-mal.”

Then, are we less than normal? Ryuuji thought, but this wasn’t the time to sulk.

From the forest, the road abruptly continued down stone steps, which led to the ocean. There lay the glaring white sand and the deep blue waters. Intense light from the midsummer sky pierced the spray from the crashing waves, which glittered and radiated like stars. That scene that continued to the Pacific Ocean’s edge was exactly like a painting. The wet breeze on their skin along with the salty smell and the quietly beating waves was almost surreal.

The beach was completely devoid of people as they continued up to the inlet where the waves rippled and broke against the rocks. The beach itself was probably also owned by the Kawashimas.

It was like paradise. There was the sound of the continuous waves, the sound of the wind, the summer smell, the light of the sun, and then…the opulent house.

A deck made of stacked logs opened onto the beach. Beyond that was an elegant, white-stone entrance like a small European hotel. Ryuuji couldn’t see how large it was because the entirety of the marvelous building was hidden behind the branches of trees planted to prevent erosion. Even so, it was terrific, and something you didn’t see often in Japan. Along the beach, the spider lilies covered the bottom of the residence with green and dark pink flower blooms. The double windows were twice as high as a normal house.

“I-I-Is…” Minori took a step forward. “Is this where we’re going to stay?!”

Minori flipped around, jumped and latched onto Ami, her backpack grazing Ryuuji and Kitamura’s noses. The two boys leaned back desperately to escape the danger.

“No really, Minori-chan, of course! Of course it is!”

“Ngyah! Uwah, uwah, it’s super pretty, it’s way too pretty! I’m so emotional! Staying in a place like this is like a dream! Ahh, let’s hurry up and go, Ahmin, Taiga! The boys, too!”

“Aha ha, you’re making too big of a deal out of it.” Ami didn’t seem altogether unhappy about Minori’s intense excitement.

Minori was practically tumbling as she ran down the steps. Ami used her long legs, jumping down easily and chasing after her, skipping a step at a time.

“Oh, hey, hey! That’s dangerous, girls! Don’t trip!” Kitamura went after them.

Taiga began to run after them, but Ryuuji grabbed the back of her collar. “Don’t be impatient. You’ll fall.”

“Huh? When have I tripped?”

Taiga wasn’t just a klutz—lately, she also seemed to be suffering from amnesia.

“Go down slowly,” he said. “The sand will be slippery, so watch your feet.” He grabbed the disagreeable Taiga’s elbow and tried to gingerly step forward with her.

“Take it easy, you sex offender!”

“S-se…?!”

“You thug! What are you imagining, Eros?!”

Taiga took advantage of his shock and roughly yanked back her arm. Then, without any warning, she hit Ryuuji’s back. BAM! She sent him flying.

“Whoa!”

He missed two steps, his foot stopping him just in time. Taiga stood behind him imposingly. Her piercing, glittering eyes brutally narrowed as she looked down at Ryuuji.

“Go ahead of me. Then, in the one-in-a-million chance I trip, you can cushion my fall. Only then will I give you permission to touch this body.”

Her pride comes before a fall. Ryuuji dripped with cold sweat. All he could do was stand stock-still in surprise. “I… I don’t even have words for how ridiculous you are… I just shuddered from the bottom of my heart…”

“Look who’s here. It’s that chit-chatty chatterbox. Zip it!”

“Huh?”

“Shut it! Zip your yap!”

He was at the mercy of her torrent of tormenting words. She said anything she pleased.

Minori, noticing the two’s heated state, turned around. “Ahh, Taiga and Takasu-kun are hot, hot, hot…ahhh!” As she pointed her finger teasingly at them, she tripped spectacularly on the very last step. SHRAAAA! She dove face-first into the sand, landing spread-eagled on the toasty beach.

“HOOOooot!”

“M-Minori-chan, are you okay?!” Flustered, Ami ran over to her.

“I’m fiiine! My face just got burned a little from the friction and hot sand!” Minori grinned and made a peace sign as she somersaulted forward and stood. She kicked defiantly at the human shaped imprint she’d made in the sand and shouted “Railroad!” before making a mad dash toward the villa’s wood deck.

As for Taiga…

“Ugh…sand got into my sandals…” She had finally descended the stone steps. Ryuuji didn’t know where her earlier intensity had gone, but, every time her sandal sank into the sand, she fearfully stopped, shook it restlessly, and hopped on one foot.

“If stuff like that gets to you, you won’t be able to walk on the beach,” Ryuuji said, walking ahead of her.

Taiga furrowed her brow and just snarled about the sand being hot or something. She couldn’t seem to take another next step. You’re so stubborn, I don’t care. Ryuuji turned around out of exasperation when it happened.

Kitamura appeared. “What’s wrong, Aisaka? Are you okay? I can hold your luggage for you.”

“Uh…”

Kitamura didn’t hesitate as he slipped the large boxy bag from Taiga’s hand. The well-toned muscles of his arms showed as he easily lifted the two bags.

“Do your feet hurt?” he asked. “We did walk quite a bit… sorry for not noticing.” His beautiful, concerned, double-lidded eyes were overflowing with unending affection as he looked at Taiga.

“Y-yeah! I’m fine!”

“You are? Then let’s go.” He stood ahead of Taiga, who shook her head from side to side. Kitamura slowly moderated his pace as he started walking, but he didn’t leave her behind, and kept checking on her.

Of course, Taiga’s face was bright red, and she trembled so hard she was practically vibrating, but her expression was neither quite happy nor sad. She gritted her back teeth until her cheeks hollowed. Her back was straight as a board. Her right arm and right leg jutted out at the same time as she followed him, but she was at least walking.

Ryuuji thought deeply about his own lack of popularity. He couldn’t be kind to a girl as spontaneously like that and he didn’t have a great body. If only he were the type of guy who could do the same thing for Minori right then and there. If only he could have spontaneously taken Minori’s luggage and said, “Did you burn your face? Sorry I couldn’t help you when you fell.” All he did was watch her as she tripped, laughed, got up, and started running.

This was why he was no good, why he couldn’t make progress. It was depressing.

“No one’s been here this year, so everyone will need to clean first. The dust might be terrible,” Ami said.

“Whaat?!” Ryuuji suddenly raised his head as Ami put her luggage down on the wood deck and turned. “We’re…c-cleaning?!” 

Desire burned in his dangerous sanpuku eyes, glinting until they seemed to boil over. He wasn’t thinking, Cleaning’s lame, let’s light it on fire and burn everything, let it all burn. He loved cleaning. Ryuuji really, really loved cleaning.

For example, a floor covered in dust? He loved the way the dust cloth turned black with the first wipe down. He loved drains that had gone dark and sticky from neglect. He loved putting down mold killer and going over to see what had happened after it sat for a while.

It made him shudder. He even liked sticking a toothbrush into a foul drain and pulling out the dirty clogs, and he liked scrubbing bath heaters proliferated with koji mold. And, to the point he could barely stand it, he liked squeaking his finger against it to check. Is it clean? Although he would say “Why did this happen?” a giddy smile he couldn’t hide would cross his face the moment he found black mold clogging a joint.

He couldn’t help but absolutely love his living space when it was clean. He scrubbed until you could lick everything without a second thought. He had acquired easy-to-use tools, made easy-to-do household chores, made it easy to clean, and kept things neat and tidy every day. It was what he loved from the bottom of his heart. 

If someone were to ask him why he loved those things, he wouldn’t have an answer. There were people in the world who loved anime, people who loved games, and people who loved music, too. If there were also people who fell head over heels for entertainers, then why couldn’t someone fall in love with cleanliness?

In addition, Ryuuji’s private hobby was also perusing foreign interior decorating magazines. If he ever had money to spare, he wanted to eventually acquire luxurious, color coordinated fabrics and linens. That said, he could mostly satiate his desire to touch marvelously tasteful fabrics by going to Taiga’s condo to help with housework.

“It’s amazing…this is going to be a huge undertaking…” Without thinking, Ryuuji clasped his hands together like a maiden and looked up at the villa as though enchanted. To think the day would come when he would clean such a luxurious house…

As expected of the villa of Yuudzukire Reiko, the thirty-year-old coroner, it didn’t feel at all like new Japanese wealth. It was tasteful. The interior was probably just as luxuriously refined and yet, the dust must have been accumulating, waiting for Ryuuji. He put his luggage on the wood deck and breathed out. Ahh.

“That’s fine… I’m fine with cleaning as much as we need to do…” he whispered to himself, low and hot. From his bag, he pulled out his personal dust cloth, which he regularly kept handy, and his Takasu stick (his version of the famous “Matsui stick” that could reach in narrow places to clean—Ryuuji’s was a chopstick and cotton square that he’d assembled).

Then, with his preparations complete, he turned back. Now Kawashima, open the door, let me inside.

“No way, no way, Ahmin. How can we clean when such a beautiful ocean is right in front of our eyes!”

Whaaat…?!

That unbelievable statement had come from the mouth of his beloved Minori. 

Minori nimbly jumped over the wood railing of the deck and touched down on the beach. “Yahoo! Ocean, ocean, ocean! It’s the oceeeaaan!”

As she ran, she kicked off her sneakers and socks, throwing them to the side as she ran to the shoreline. She submerged herself in the ocean up to her ankles. “Ah, it’s cold! Aha ha, the waves are strong! I’m not gonna lose!”

In the spray that radiated in the intense summer sun, she faced the ominously approaching waves, smiled, and gave them a small kick. “Everyone! Hurry up! Come on!” She waved at them. 

Ami also quickly took off her sandals and rolled up her jeans. “It looks nice! I’m going in, too!”

“We’ll save cleaning for later!” Even Kitamura was in his bare feet and running. Ah, it’s cold. 

They shouted joyously.

“Hey, hey, hey! Shouldn’t we clean first?!” Ryuuji, the heretic, said. His voice was blown away by the sea breeze. How terrible. He turned around. There was one person left behind on the deck. She couldn’t swim and didn’t seem to have much interest in the ocean.

“All right, Taiga! You’re here! Hey, hey, don’t you think you want to clean more than go play in the ocean?! Of course you do! Starting right now, we can polish up that plan while the two of us clean…”

But when he took a step towards her, she nimbly avoided him just as though he were dirty.

“I don’t want to, don’t come near me!” she said. “You have perverted eyes.”

“What…?”

“Gross.”

Taiga’s narrow gaze was filled to the brim with contempt as she turned her face away from Ryuuji and completely, coldly ignored him. She pulled off her small sandals with great effort and ran toward everyone else at the shoreline.

“Oh, she’s here! Taiga, come over here! There’s a tooooon of fish!”

“What, where? I want to see! Ugh, it’s cold!”

“It’s fine, it’s fine once you get used to it!”

As she lifted the hem of her skirt, Taiga exposed her white shins and timidly entered the water. She held onto Minori’s arm. 

Ryuuji was all by his lonesome. Left alone while everyone was laughing. They seemed to be having fun.

Being left behind because he’d rather be cleaning wouldn’t do. Ryuuji didn’t want to spoil the mood that had just formed. He descended the wood deck reluctantly, though he turned back to the villa several times. He wasn’t exactly excited as he wrestled with his shoes, trying to at least get barefoot at the boisterous shoreline.

Cold water sprayed his face. “Uwah! Puh!”

“Yaaay!”

Ryuuji licked his lips. They were offensively salty, and his nose hurt, and salt had gotten in his eyes. 

Ami laughed. “Look, Takasu-kun, let’s play together here!”

“Play? …Uh-puh, why you!”

“Ho ho ho, hurry up, hurry up~!” As she beckoned him, her white hand mercilessly dashed water all over Ryuuji’s clothes. Her smile was sweet as an angel’s, and her inviting voice was like a breeze. “There, there, there~!” She aimed precisely for his eyes and nose, undoubtedly displaying her black-hearted and ill nature.

“Damn it… now you’ve done it!”

“Aah!”

Ryuuji wouldn’t hold back. He wouldn’t give her a handicap. He’d give it back to her twice as hard. As she laughed, Ami tried to run away by stepping back into the ocean. The spray glittered in the midsummer sunshine and the hem of Ryuuji’s shorts was awash in the waves. Before he knew it, his skin was baking in the sun.

“Stop, it’s cold! It’s cold!”

Ami laughed as she ran away. If you ignored her personality for the moment, with her jeans rolled up to expose her knees, she looked like she’d stepped out of a soft drink or sports drink commercial. They splashed each other and laughed. 

This kind of actually feels like summer, Ryuuji started to think. Even his lust for cleaning had disappeared. Even the solid cumulous clouds bubbling in the blue sky enhanced this summer scene.

Before he realized it, he was laughing, his voice raised, as he chased Ami. He couldn’t tell the difference between his sweat and the ocean water.

“I told you it’s cold! Really, Takasu-kun, you’re mean~!”

And then…

“I see, I see, it’s cold. It’s that cold.”

“Ah! Stop! Ahh…ah?!”

“Are the wharf roaches that cold?”

“Ugh…gyaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAH!!!!”

At some point, Taiga had come up behind Ryuuji to pursue Ami. She was tossing the wharf roaches stuck on the nearby boulders at her. The wharf roaches immediately clung to Ami’s white tank top.

“You spoiled brat, what do you think you’re doing?!” Ami snapped, her face like an ogress mask as she promptly started throwing the wharf roaches she had accumulated back at Taiga.

“Shut up, take the wharf roaches, you dumb Chihuahua!”

“The wharf roaches suit you better, you pipsqueak!”

This unseemly, ominous battle unfolded across the midsummer ocean scene. 

Whoa… Ryuuji decided to run out of fear. 

“Hey, hey! We’re on a trip, so why are you fighting?!” The one who had the courage to break them up was none other than the class representative of justice, Kitamura Yuusaku himself. But the two were still tossing wharf roaches, and they simply stuck to Kitamura’s shirt when he stood between them.

“Uwah, wait aren’t these… how are you two touching these?!” he cried. “I’m a little… I can’t deal with them, take them off… Ami! Take them off!”

“No! Yuusaku, that’s gross! Don’t come near me!”

“What?! Then Aisaka, you take them off!”

“Uh… S-sorry…”

“Why not?! Take them off! Weren’t you two just touching them with your bare hands?!”

Even as he said that, it seemed that getting chased by a boy covered in wharf roaches was too gross for them. Though he felt bad about it, Ryuuji couldn’t even look straight at Kitamura. They were even hanging off his glasses…

Eventually, as they screamed and tried to get away from the pleading, glasses-wearing, wharf-roach-encrusted boy, the two girls ran aimlessly side by side down the shoreline. It seemed in a situation like this, they were in sync.

“Aha ha, they’re stupid! I can’t believe they grabbed those wharf roaches.” Minori appeared beside him with her dazzling smile, laughing as she watched the chase unfold.

“Y-yeah.”

“Well, I’m the kind of girl to grab sea cucumbers, though.”

Without hesitation, she showed the sea cucumbers in her hands to Ryuuji, though Ryuuji jerked his head back auto­matically.

“That’s…amazing?!” he said.

“Oceans where there are sea cucumbers are clean oceans. They filter the water. They’re also tasty.” Minori was in a good mood, in a very good mood. She put sea cucumbers in her hands together for no reason and said, “Cross bone.” Then, with a splash, she returned them to the water.

“Aha ha, my hands smell like the ocean!” Minori sniffed at her hands, grinned, and laughed. 

Ryuuji couldn’t help but smile at her natural, carefree attitude. “Hey, Kushieda, sometimes…”

“What?”

He couldn’t forget the goal of that trip. In times like this, he needed to corner her as much as he could, little by little. “Don’t you think that thing floating over there looks like a human head?”

“Uh!”

He pointed. It was just seaweed floating in the ocean—it probably didn’t look like a human head even if you were looking for one. But he was sure Minori was delusional enough that she would make it a bigger and bigger deal all on her own. She would scare herself. 

Just as planned, as Minori looked at it, her whole body erupted in goosebumps. “Guh…gyah! A body… a body! That means that this ocean water is filled with the essence of decomposing corpses… uwahh!”

She tried to somersault away, lost her balance, and grabbed onto Ryuuji’s arm. She put her weight on him. Her palm was hotter than he thought it would be.

“A-are you okay?!” he asked.

For a moment, he felt like life was being choked out of him. A shiver ran from the back of his neck, down his spine, and all the way to his butt. This was a little… no, this was good.

“It’s not okay!” Minori said. “We’re being soaked in corpse essence right noooow!” Her face reached peak redness and she actually looked really scared, though she had just been smiling so brightly. 

As expected, Ryuuji felt a little guilty being the only one who was thrilled. “S-sorry for saying something so weird,” he finally said, exposing it for what it was. “That’s actually seaweed.”

“Dagyaaah! It’s a seaweed cooooorpse!”

Half-crouched, Minori once again turned a somersault and rolled onto the wet sand. Based on what she was saying, the supermarket would be filled with fish corpses and a whole bunch of other dead bodies, he thought, but he didn’t have time to console her as Minori sprinted to the wood deck. From a slight distance, Ami was staring at him, half-shocked.

They had just barely finished the prologue of their plan and Minori was already completely ensnared in their trap.