Chapter 2 School Is Filled with Thrills! …Sounds Good, but It’s Mostly Exhausting.
Their time at school would last a single week. Masato’s party took rooms at the inn in town and would have to trudge into school each day. Here, they were in a game, doing the same thing they’d do in the real world. A depressing thought, but those were the breaks.
The rooms at the inn were, as always, built for two. The group paired off just as they always did, so Masato and Wise were sharing a room.
And just like usual, she cast Morte on him in the evening, and he spent the night resting in peace inside a coffin.
“What the…? It’s still dark…”
That morning, he woke up and emerged from his coffin to find himself surrounded by darkness.
Masato couldn’t see a thing. It was like a dark mist before his eyes.
“Um, Wise… What’s happening to me? Please explain.”
“When I revived you, I also cast a Blind effect on you. You know, the one that makes it easy for your attacks to miss? Standard stuff.”
“Aha. That explains it.”
It definitely severely limited Masato’s ability to act. He reached out, trying to grab anything, but kept missing. It was extremely frustrating.
“Why would you do this? Can you please stop? I think it’s a little much.”
“I’m merely protecting my privacy. Since you’re sleeping in the same room as me, there’s always a risk of you seeing me naked somehow. But if I make it impossible for you to see, there’s no risk of that. And I don’t have to punish you. See?”
“Well… I suppose it’s better than pointlessly pissing you off and getting my eyes literally poked out, but…”
“Now that we’re in agreement, hurry up and get ready. Can’t be late for our first day.”
“I agree with you there, but…how am I supposed to get ready like this? I can wait until you’re ready, but please cancel the spell.”
He really couldn’t see anything. He took a single step and stubbed a toe—“Ow!”—and almost fell over. He reached out a hand to catch himself.
“Whoops…” His hand touched something squishy. Squishy and soft. Spongy and springy.
Uh… Is this…?!
It couldn’t be. Had Masato seriously landed a critical touch?!
But hang on. Whatever Masato was touching was quite large. So large he couldn’t even get his whole hand around it. Wise wasn’t exactly equipped with anything so bountiful…
That was when it hit him.
“Goodness, Ma-kun! Is that what you want for breakfast? Hee-hee.”
“…Eep…”
He knew that voice. All too well. It was like she was right there.
Then that meant the soft something he was now cupping belonged to her…
No, wait. Wait, wait, wait. Waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait waitwaitwait!!
“Hey, Masato. I’m done getting ready, so want me to restore your sight now? Heh. Heh. Heh.”
“N-nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!”
He refused to acknowledge this reality! He turned on his heel and ran for it. “Ah, Ma-kun! Not that way!” “Have a nice trip!” “Huh…?” One second he was running, the next second there was nothing underfoot.
Masato fell out the window. Self-punishment: complete.
When they entered the inn dining room, the smell of miso soup filled the air. Japanese-style breakfast was laid out on the table. Porta was there, waiting.
“I thought I heard a loud crash, like something falling! I wonder what it was?”
“Hee-hee. That was Ma-kun.”
“Pfft. You see…”
“Nothing happened! Nothing at all! There was nothing weird! Right, Mom?! You need more rice? Wise, have some more soup! I’ll help fetch them! Ask me for anything! Ha-ha-ha!”
Masato eagerly busied himself helping, hoping to seal their lips. He did NOT want Porta knowing about any of that. He wanted to remain a cool older brother to her forever, and this made him desperate.
After a lively breakfast…
“Thanks for the food! …Right then, we’d better getting going…right away!”
Masato was looking forward to school. He wanted to be there already. Never in his life had he wanted to be at school so much.
If he was at school, he was sure…
“Yeesh, what’s gotten into him? Look at his face! He’s gone full creepy ‘a destined encounter awaits me’! What an idiot.”
“I’m not an idiot! Maybe I did look a little like that, but I’m not wrong! I think destiny really is waiting for me!”
“U-um… Masato! Wise! Let’s stop fighting and go to school. I really want to get there myself!”
“Mm, exactly. Right you are, Porta. We can’t be wasting time on idle chatter. Now, the three of us are off to school, but…”
Masato did feel a little guilty about Mamako.
Three of them were going to school. Mamako was not. So she’d be left behind at the inn, all on her own.
Mamako enjoyed spending time with him more than anything, but now they were forced to spend time apart. That could be really hard on her…
And that wasn’t his only worry.
…She won’t, like…show up at school, will she?
That was maybe his greatest fear. It was Mamako, after all.
Since they’d entered the game, Mamako had become extremely proactive.
And she’d received mom-only support blessings that made things you’d think were impossible rather easy for her to accomplish.
The woman herself did not appear to be paying their conversation any attention. She was calmly sipping at her cup of tea. But that behavior, in and of itself, seemed highly suspicious…
“…Um, Mom?”
“Hee-hee. Don’t worry. I’ve been a housewife all this time. I spent all day at home alone! I know how to hold down the fort. Don’t you worry about me.”
“Sure, that’s true, but…are you really just gonna wait for us to get back? Are you just gonna behave yourself alone? You won’t find some excuse to show up at school, right?”
He wanted this made very clear.
Mamako took another sip of tea and sighed.
“…Phew. What lovely tea,” she said, satisfied.
“Quit looking so satisfied and answer me! You’re gonna behave yourself, right? You’re not gonna butt in where you’re not supposed to?”
“Oh, look, Ma-kun! It’s almost time! You’d better hurry or you’ll be late.”
“Seriously, answer the questions! Whatever you do, don’t come to school…”
“Oh, that’s right. Mommy made lunches for everyone! They’re in Porta’s bag, so make sure to eat them when the time comes, okay?”
Mamako was clearly being evasive. She refused to answer the questions. In which case…
“Porta, question. How many lunches did she give you?”
“Huh?! …U-um… Well…”
Porta jumped, then froze, her eyes wide as saucers, sweat pouring down her face. Like her name was now Pourta. Ha-ha. Wait, this was no time for puns.
Porta had definitely been handed four lunches. He knew it. Mamako had included one for herself.
Which meant…
“…Mom.”
“Hee-hee. I sure do love tea!”
“Answer! The! Questions! Promise you won’t come! You can’t come! Say you won’t come!”
Mamako met Masato’s interrogation with a smile, pretending to sip from a long-empty teacup.
“…She’s coming… She’s definitely coming… Mom’s gonna come…”
“What are you muttering about now, creep?”
“Don’t call me a creep! I’m seriously worried here! If Mom worms her way into class pretending to be a student, lord knows what’ll happen!”
“I think Mama could be a student! Mama’s super young!”
“That’s exactly why I’m so worried… I’m really scared she’ll blend in like she belongs there…”
The first day of school was scary for anybody, but Masato was being crushed by anxiety quite removed from the norm. Oh well.
They arrived at the adventurer training school, Gioco Accademia.
Masato alone was preoccupied with looking over his shoulder as they stepped onto the beautiful school grounds. They first stopped by the front desk they’d visited the day before, and the same reception lady greeted them with a smile.
“Wait right here until your teacher comes to get you,” she said.
So they waited. Their teacher arrived soon enough.
Striding down the hall came a male teacher, burly body wrapped in academic garb, his bellow echoing like a starting pistol.
“Hey! You guys must be the students starting today! Masato the Hero, Wise the Sage, Porta the Traveling Merchant! All present and accounted for?”
“Oh yes! That’s us!”
“Right, right! Welcome! I’m your teacher, Mr. Burly! Good to meet you!”
“P-pleasure… Like body, like name, I guess… Sorry, I hate to point this out, but that really is a lazy name…”
“Bwa-ha-ha! Well, I am an NPC! I dunno if it was the writer or the artist, but one of them was definitely too lazy to bother coming up with a decent name, so they just called me as they saw me! Such sloppy work, honestly!”
“Oh, I see… Being an NPC must be tough…”
The NPC teacher led them to the classroom, griping about management to the limits of his artificial intelligence the whole way. The hall was a luxurious affair, with plush carpeting.
Mr. Burly seemed to be quite an easygoing teacher. His friendly demeanor belied his rough-hewn exterior.
“If you’ve got any questions, ask away! I can handle any of them! They’ve programmed the entire text of the school-related FAQ within me!”
An FAQ was a list of frequently asked questions. Very useful when at a loss.
“Wow, just like a real NPC. That sounds handy. So I was wondering… Are we being treated like transfer students?”
“Yes. All the test players transfer in and undergo a special accelerated course. That allows you to experience all the school has to offer within a week, and the classes are a special curriculum designed for all ages, so the three of you are in the same class.”
“Oh, that’s great! Good news, Porta! You’re in the same class as us!”
“Yes! Ooooh! I’m so very, very happy!”
“And in a week’s time, we’ll all graduate with awesome items! A flawless life plan!”
“Oh, by the way, the other students are supposed to be enrolled in a standard three-year course. Three years means, honestly, they’ll be students until this game ends. After all, they’re NPCs made to fill out the student body! Like myself, they’re trapped here until it all comes crashing down! Bwa-ha-ha! …So anyway, try to be nice to the poor kids who’ll never actually graduate.”
“““…I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look my classmates in the eye…”””
This place was dark. An academic sweatshop. The student NPC was not allowed any hopes or dreams…only pity.
Just as the emotional roller coaster reached its lowest point, they arrived at their classroom. “Come on in when I call your names,” Mr. Burly said. He went in, and they waited in the hall. A bit nervous.
Then their moment arrived.
“Beloved students!” Mr. Burly bellowed. “Today we have several new friends transferring in! Let me introduce you all! Come on in!”
Feeling tense, Masato’s party filed in.
The classroom interior was fairly typical. The desks and chairs themselves were quite fancy and arranged in perfectly neat rows.
The students in the seats were wearing uniforms—stiff-collared military-style attire for the boys, and sailor uniforms for the girls. There were around twenty of them in all.
The party blinked a little at seeing such standard-issue uniforms inside a video game fantasy school, but…that was hardly the biggest problem.
Every face staring up at them was made with ASCII art. Where eyes and mouths should be were letters and symbols. Seriously. What the hell.
“Urgh… I guess we can still register their emotions somehow, but there’s no way to tell them apart…”
“That’s hardly the real problem here! This is ridiculous! I mean, there’s sloppy, and then there’s just downright unprofessional!”
“Whoever was in charge of making NPCs must have been really short on time! This is so shocking!”
The unnervingly slapdash faces ensured they would literally never look a classmate in the eye.
Even so, they had to introduce themselves. They lined up before the blackboard and said their piece.
“Um… H-hi. I’m Masato. Technically a hero.”
“’Sup, I’m Wise. I’m a Sage. Nice to meetcha.”
“I-I’m Porta! I’m a Traveling Merchant! Thank you very much!”
There was a silence, then a sudden eruption of applause.
“Whoa! All three of you are so original! They broke the molds after you! Nothing like us mass-produced people!”
“The guy’s pretty normal-looking, but both girls are super cute! Can I ask a question? Do either of you have boyfriends? If not, would you go out with me?”
“Hey! Boys! That’s enough of that! I know that’s just what you were programmed to say, but that doesn’t make it any less weird!”
“Shut up, Class President! Quit making that angry emoticon face; it’s so annoying!”
“Don’t be rude! Better than having a face made entirely of horizontal lines like yours!”
Okay. Well, at least someone gave them voices. The words that accompanied those voices were all kinds of problematic, and their faces were still all ASCII. But at least it seemed like their classmates were happy to see them.
Mr. Burly waited for the commotion to subside and then clapped his hands, calling for silence.
“All right, be nice to the new kids. You three can sit anywhere you like.”
“R-right,” Masato said, glancing around. There was a cluster of empty seats toward the back. “Well… Over there is fine, I guess.”
Masato took a seat at random, with Wise on his right and Porta behind him.
“Well, with the three new students… Hmm? Three?” Mr. Burly frowned. “One…two…three…” He counted them again, his scowl deepening.
“Something wrong?”
“Oh, um… It’s a little late, but I could swear there were four new students today… I’m pretty sure we were expecting four…”
“Then there’s still one coming? …Wait… That can’t mean…?!”
A face flitted across Masato’s mind; it looked young enough that its owner could conceivably claim to be a student, and a wave of despair washed over him.
But then he heard footsteps coming down the hall. Someone clearly in a hurry. They stopped outside the door.
Could it be? No, it definitely was! She was here!
“Wha…? Seriously?! What the hell, Mom?!”
He had to prevent this at all costs! Masato dashed over to the door and attempted to put his shoulder against it…but the door was already open.
And standing there was a girl with blue hair, in pure-white robes.
“Huh? ‘M-Mom’?” she said.
“Erm… Wait… You’re not Mom… Medhi?”
Yep. Definitely Medhi. His destined partner whom he’d met only yesterday. Masato’s prospective heroine. He’d know her angelic face anywhere.
Masato and Medhi stared into each other’s eyes, surprised, until Wise yelled, “Um, Hero Masato? Earth to Masato? Is there something wrong with your eyes or do all women look like your beloved mommy now?”
“H-hey! That’s not what I…”
The classmates all burst out laughing.
Masato’s only salvation was that it wasn’t a nasty, mean laugh, but even so, he wasn’t exactly feeling great. More like he wanted to die. Shortly after killing Wise.
Also, Mr. Burly was laughing harder than anyone, so he definitely wanted to punch him. Not that he actually would.
“Bwa-ha-ha! Then can your surprisingly young mother introduce herself?”
“Oh, yes! I’m Medhi! I’m a Cleric! …Um, also… I’m not actually Masato’s mother, so…”
Medhi turned toward Masato and bowed politely. Too politely.
“I’m sorry to dash your hopes like that. I apologize. From the bottom of my heart.”
“Please don’t do that. I’m the one who should be apologizing…”
There were few things more painful than a polite apology. Masato was ready to plant his face on the floor.
Then.
“Oh, but I am glad!”
“Huh…? About what…?”
“I’m so glad we’re both in the same class… Perhaps this is destiny? Oh, I can’t believe I just said that. Tee-hee-hee!”
Medhi gave him a smile that looked genuinely happy and a little embarrassed.
I agreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, Masato nearly yelled, but she was right there, so he managed to control himself. He had to keep his cool. On the surface anyway.
The morning homeroom-ish period wrapped up, and there was a break before the first actual class of the day began.
But there was no rest for the transfer students. They had to deal with swarms of friendly classmates. It was the duty of any transfer student.
“Masato! If there’s anything you don’t understand about school, just ask! Although…the facilities are all still trial versions, so we can’t really explain much about them. Instead, you’ll have to ask about us! We’ll answer everything!”
“Ask me, too! I can tell you every name in my family tree going back fifteen generations!”
“I can give you a month-by-month account of the one hundred eighty months it took me to turn fifteen!”
“Oh, uh, w-wow… They may have scrimped on your visuals, but they sure did buckle down on your backgrounds…”
“Yep! Our histories are the most developed things about us! Hilarious, right? Ah-ha-ha!”
“I guess they just like working on that stuff! A shame it’s so useless! Ah-ha-ha!”
“But that’s the only thing we can really take pride in! Sad, right? Ah-ha-ha!”
“You’re all…living the best lives you can…”
The NPC classmates’ open, cheery dispositions were like freshly chopped onions. Masato found himself shedding tears on their behalf.
It didn’t take all that long for each to greet him, after which his stalwart classmates politely went back to their seats.
At last, he had a minute to rest. He glanced to one side, where Wise and Porta were still buried in questions, and leaned back in his seat.
He allowed himself a single, long sigh and decided that was rest enough.
…All right! Here goes nothing!
Inside, he was pumping himself up, but on the outside, he maintained his cool. Masato stole a quick glance to his left.
Where Medhi sat.
She had chosen that seat without making a show of it. She had voluntarily chosen to sit next to Masato. This was her choice. She was here because she wanted a relationship with him. He was sure of it.
Perhaps Medhi was a little too beautiful for them—the other classmates weren’t approaching her at all. It was just her and Masato, the two of them. This was his chance. If he didn’t seize it, he was hardly worth calling a man!
He was going for it—casually, not showing how much he was stressing this.
“Ha-hay, um… Cough, cough… H-hey, Medhi? Got a sec?”
“Yes? What is it?”
Masato had blown it entirely, but Medhi just smiled gently, answering easily.
The way she tucked her hair behind her ear was almost too much for Masato. Calm down. Just make conversation.
“Um, I don’t really have anything in particular; I just thought this would be a good chance to talk. I mean…we didn’t really get to talk much yesterday.”
“That’s true! I wanted to speak to you more, too. I’m very glad you reached out to me.”
Did you hear that?! He wasn’t mishearing this! A girl was actually happy he’d spoken to her!
He could search every world out there and there would be only a handful like her! He had no choice but to love her with every fiber of his being. “Uh-oh, I’m starting to tear up…” “M-Masato? What’s wrong?” He just wanted to quietly savor this emotion, but…
He had to keep talking.
Um… S-so, what do we talk about?
He’d made a start at least but had failed to think of an actual topic. Things were certainly headed the right direction, but this could be a real stumbling block…
Just then, Mr. Burly’s voice echoed from the hall.
“M-ma’am! Wait just a minute! You can’t just drop in for an unannounced classroom inspection!”
He seemed to be trying his hardest to stop someone. Judging from the ma’am, this was a grown woman. Someone’s mother?
Masato froze. Was it really her this time? Apparently not.
The voice he heard next was not Mamako’s.
“Fear not. I am merely here to check on my daughter, not watch the class. In my opinion, school is not a place to learn but a means to determine which students rise to the top and which do not. The content of the classes is irrelevant. I merely wish to ascertain all the ways in which my daughter is the best.”
With that haughty spiel, Medhi’s mother, Medhimama, stepped into the room, her gold nouveau riche robes gleaming. There was no mistaking her.
Medhimama pushed past Mr. Burly, glanced around the room, located Medhi, and came directly over to her. As she approached, her gaze locked onto Masato.
“Oh, we met you yesterday… Masato, was it? Good morning.”
“Y-yeah. Hi. Good morning.”
“If Medhi is this close to you, I assume you are getting along. That’s nice. But…I feel you’re a little too close.”
“Huh? R-really? …I don’t think we are, but…”
“No, much too close. I do not approve. Which means… Come, Medhi. Move over one seat.”
“Y-yes, Mother.”
Once Medhi moved, Medhimama sat down in the seat between her and Masato, as if she belonged there. And if that wasn’t bad enough…
“Should you be entertaining any thoughts about inviting Medhi to your party or any relationship above and beyond that, Masato, I ask that you discuss it with me first. I will conduct a thorough interview. We’ll discuss particulars once that is concluded.”
“Eep… A mom interview…”
For Masato and Medhi to get any closer, he’d have to do one of those…a mandatory mom interview, where he’d be evaluated by whatever biased and arbitrary standards she had, failed for saying things anyone else would consider totally acceptable.
Here destiny had brought the two of them together, yet an impregnable wall of motherhood sprang up between them. There was no way he’d be able to easily speak to her again.
“Now then, Masato, sit down. It’s time for class to start.”
“…Right…”
His own mom was bad enough, but being tormented by someone else’s? Was this what fate held in store for all heroes, or just Masato in particular?
A hero who had passed through any number of worlds and defeated any number of powerful enemies would be dashed against the cliffs of despair in Masato’s shoes. Tears would flow. They’d cry themselves to sleep at night.
Class was off to a great start.
First period.
“Okay, class! Picking up from where we left off yesterday…is not what I’m doing, since we have transfer students and have changed up the entire curriculum for their benefit! NPCs have no right of refusal in their operational settings, so the special curriculum’s first period will be…”
“No need for the long-winded preamble. Move along to the actual lesson.”
“R-right…”
Mr. Burly managed to avoid wilting under Medhimama’s piercing glare, but he did break into a cold sweat. Hang in there, Mr. Burly!
“Th-then let’s get started. Eyes up!”
Mr. Burly began writing on the blackboard.
{(Level ÷ 2 + 2) × Skill Power × Attacker STR stat ÷ Defender DEF stat ÷ 50 + 2}
A fairly complex formula.
“Erm, this is the formula for how damage is calculated in battle. Everything after the decimal is discarded. So the problem: If a level 50 hero with an STR of 125 uses Divine Slash with a power of 255 on a demon lord with a DEF of 100, how much damage will they do? If you get this right, you’ll receive 10 SP.”
“Whoa, that much right off the bat?”
“Bwa-ha-ha! Good reaction, Hero Masato! You’ll receive the points instantly, so rake them in! But the fastest answer wins. Raise your hand as soon as you’ve figured it out!”
Normally you could only get a few SP each time you leveled up. Getting ten at once? They had to take this seriously.
But the problem was a little too tricky. “Tch… Gotta work it out ourselves, huh?” There were no calculators. Masato scribbled the problem down using the pen and paper on his desk and started working through the calculations…
But.
“Got it!” Medhi said, her hand raised. Less than ten seconds had passed.
“Oh, that was fast. Cleric Medhi, what is the answer?”
“174 damage.”
“Mm, correct! Ten points to the Cleric!”
Medhi got it right. A buzz went around the class, followed by a round of applause.
Despite the shower of praise, Medhi showed no signs of letting her achievement go to her head. She simply politely bowed her head. Even this was beautiful but difficult to see past Medhimama, who leaned forward, saying, “Heh-heh-heh. She is my daughter, so naturally she’s quite extraordinary!” Geez, lady.
When Medhi sat down, Mr. Burly picked up his chalk again.
“Right, next problem. This is a tricky one!”
Something more difficult than that formula? Masato and the other students faced forward, bracing themselves.
The following was written on the board:
The hero used Divine Slash. But the Demon Lord took no damage.
“Now, what does this mean? If you can’t figure it out, you’ll never beat the Demon Lord. It’ll attack you, and you’ll lose. Hurry up now—answer! Ten SP to whoever gets it right.”
How could he answer this out of the blue? No, he had to at least try. Otherwise, he’d never get any points. Masato racked his brain.
It’s soaking the damage… Does it have some damage nullification effect?
Masato had fought enemies like that before, so that answer popped into his head quickly. He wasn’t sure if it was right or not, but sometimes the shotgun approach was best. He’d better at least answer.
Masato raised his hand…or at least, he tried.
For some reason, he couldn’t do it.
“…Huh?”
He was trying to raise his hand, but it just wouldn’t budge. Confused, he looked down at it.
The head of a bejeweled staff was pressing firmly on his wrist.
Medhimama was holding that staff with one hand and had her other hand raised.
“Mr. Burly, if I may?”
“Hm? …Um, no, this class is for the children. We ask that parents and guardians please refrain from—”
“Naturally, it will be my daughter answering, not myself… Well, Medhi? The correct answer, please.”
“Yes, Mother… I believe the Demon Lord has cast an illusion, and its real body is hidden somewhere else.”
“There you have it. What do you say, Mr. Burly?”
“Uh, yeah, that’s right. So ten points to the Cleric! Congratulations!”
“Thank—”
“Oh-ho-ho! The only possible outcome!”
Ding-ding-ding! There was a pleasant sound effect, and Medhi’s SP increased. Medhimama seemed much happier about this than the one who actually earned the points, but that aside…
Masato’s hand was still pinned down.
“Um, Medhimama…?”
“Yes, Masato, what is it? …Goodness me! My staff just happens to have fallen coincidentally in your direction and accidentally pinned your hand down!” Medhimama said, leaning her staff against her desk. She seemed genuinely apologetic. “Gosh, I’m so sorry! I never noticed. I can’t apologize enough.”
“Oh, um… Well, if it wasn’t intentional…”
He’d definitely thought it was a conscious effort with a lot of force behind it, so he wasn’t entirely convinced…but his answer was wrong anyway, so he’d been spared looking the fool in front of Medhi. He let it pass.
The class came first. He had to score some points next time.
“Next problem. The hero attacks! But the Demon Lord takes no damage. This sudden twist shocks the hero. And the Demon Lord says… What does he say?”
“Huh? What on…?”
“I wrote this problem myself! If I like your answer, ten points!”
“What the heck? Is that appropriate for this class?”
But if he could get points for it, it was worth a shot. Whoever spoke first won. “Argh, let’s just do it!” Masato tried to raise his hand…but before he could…
“Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes! I thought of something! Me!”
Masato looked to his right. Wise had her hand up and was frantically trying to draw the teacher’s attention. He hadn’t even called on her yet, but she was on her feet and ready to answer.
Or so he thought.
“The answer is… H-huh? Huhhh? Huhhhhhhh? Meep? Uh-heh-heh-heh-heh?!”
Wise suddenly began acting incredibly stupid, grinning like an idiot. She even started dancing. This was much too bizarre. Masato had never seen her acting this silly. Had she lost her mind?
“What’s gotten into her? Did she finally snap?”
“Wise is Confused! I’ll give her a recovery item!” Behind her, Porta sprang to the rescue. “Wise, here!”
“Take it, shake it, toss it!” She tossed it. “Don’t throw thaaaat!!” Confused Wise was even more of a handful than usual. Maybe they should just knock her out.
Meanwhile, Medhimama raised her hand.
“There seems to be a great deal of commotion, but in the meantime, my daughter will answer.”
“R-right… Cleric Medhi, what did the Demon Lord say to the hero when his attack missed?”
“Heh-heh-heh! Your attacks are useless against me, puny hewo! …Ah…”
She’d blown the last word. Medhi had been so into her cackling performance as the hero she’d totally turned the r into a w. “…Uggghhh…” She flushed bright red, looking about ready to catch fire. It was adorable.
“Bwa-ha-ha! Not bad, not bad! Maybe a little cliché, but messing up when you least expect it was pretty great! Ten points to the Cleric!”
“Th-thank you… Ugh… That was so embarrassing.”
“Of course she got it right! That is my daughter! She is flawless! Ohhh-ho-ho-ho!”
Medhi walked away with the points again. And once more, Medhimama seemed far happier about it than the girl herself. Watching her gloat was no fun at all, so Masato ignored her.
Porta had finally managed to cure Wise’s status ailment. She came over to Masato and whispered, “Masato, listen… About Wise…”
“You don’t say? That was the real her?! I knew it!”
“N-no! That’s not… That’s not what I mean!”
“Sorry, sorry, I’m kidding… You’re talking about how she got that status ailment?”
Porta nodded gravely.
Wise had extremely low resistance to status ailments. Her resistance stat was almost certainly a big ol’ zero. With her magic sealed, she made for the worst Sage ever, without fail. And this time, she’d wound up Confused.
And they had a pretty good idea how.
This is sabotage… She’s trying to get her daughter more points.
Just as she’d physically restrained Masato.
It was obvious who the culprit was…but…
“I think that staff’s behind it, but… Mmm… H-huh? I’m…getting…so sleepy… Yawn… Zzz…”
Porta swayed adorably; then her cheek hit the desk, and she was fast asleep. “Uh, Porta? What the…?!” Masato called, shaking her, and taking full advantage of this opportunity to rub the hell out of her cheeks. She didn’t wake up. They were as soft as they looked.
She looked so content as she slept that he wanted to just sit and watch her forever, but now was clearly not the time.
Porta wasn’t the only one asleep. Wise had collapsed on her desk as well, and so had the NPC students.
Only Masato, Medhimama, Medhi herself, and Mr. Burly were still conscious.
“Mm? What’s all this? So many of you are nodding off… Oh well. Education is what you make of it! You may do as you please. Next problem! …Having realized he can’t attack the Demon Lord directly, the hero pleads with the Demon Lord, suggesting they settle their differences by other means…”
Mr. Burly was clearly not going to do anything about this state of affairs. He was just an NPC. Perhaps he wasn’t programmed to handle emergencies.
Masato had to do something. He was the only one who could.
“…I think this is going a bit too far,” he said, not looking at her, speaking to the room at large but making his displeasure clear.
He heard a soft chuckle next to him.
“Heh-heh-heh. I don’t know what you mean… You seem like a very serious student, Masato. Aren’t you at all sleepy?”
“My armor comes with status ailment resistance. It isn’t perfect, but I’m not about to be done in by your cheap tricks.”
“You have resistance to it? My, my, how cunning. I find that quite aggravating… But if your resistance isn’t perfect, then you can only block a certain percentage of the effects, correct? In that case, I simply have to up the casting count.”
Medhimama reached for the staff at her side and touched it. That was it. That was all she did.
But instantly, Masato’s body felt extremely heavy. Like his body was drifting away from him, his mind growing blurry, his eyelids drooping.
“Ungh… Are you, serious? …So sleepy…”
“Have a nice nap. Ohhh-ho-ho-ho! Now no one is in her way! My daughter will answer every problem, obtain all the points, and achieve the highest results!”
“Dammit… You’re the worst…”
“Oh, come now. There’s no need for that. I’m the best mother!”
“…Yeah, right… In what way…?”
“For my daughter’s sake, sometimes it is necessary to kick others aside. No need to consider the ethics of it! It is all for her benefit. That is what any mother should think. Anything done for the sake of my daughter is excusable. Naturally. That’s simply how it is.”
Medhimama spoke with utter certainty.
Her child was all that mattered. Perhaps he could understand her line of thinking up to a certain point.
But even then, he wasn’t about to agree with her. He wasn’t ready to sit there and let her kick the stool out from under him.
It really pissed him off. So aggravating…
“…Sigh… What a pain in the…”
That quiet whisper wasn’t Masato.
So who was it? But before he could look around to see, Masato was fast asleep.
When Masato’s party woke up, the first period was already over. They were on break.
The NPC students were all saying things like, “Crap, I fell asleep!” “Me too!” They laughed like they’d just nodded off in a boring class.
Meanwhile, Masato’s group was extremely disgruntled. Wise, who wanted that item more than anything, was especially livid.
“Ugh! What’s her problem?! I’ve never been so angry in my entire life! …Hey, Masato! What’s going on here?! I’m not gonna let her get away with this! Hell no!”
“Dunno why you’re yelling at me. You should be yelling at the real culprit… But since she’s left her seat, I guess you can’t…”
Medhimama had gone off somewhere. The bathroom, perhaps? It seemed rude to pry, so he abandoned that line of thought.
Wise wasn’t letting it go.
“Masato! Someone needs to get a piece of my mind, and you’ll do in a pinch! You’re good at being a punching bag anyway!”
“Uh, I wouldn’t exactly call that a skill of mine. I’m not here for you to take your frustrations out on!”
“I’ll take them out on whoever I like! Arrghh! Just stand there and let me punch you!”
“No way! Knock it off! That’s it, you’re going in a headlock!”
When Wise took a wild swing at him, Masato wheeled around behind her and slipped his arm around her head.
“Ow, ow, ow!! H-hey! You can’t do this to a girl!”
“Headlocks are gender neutral.”
Securing her temples was proof of friendship.
Once Wise had calmed down, Masato and Porta held a quick strategy session.
“What I don’t get is how she did it… She didn’t chant a spell at all, yet she can cause Confusion and Sleep? That’s gotta be the power of her equipment… Hey, Porta, is there anything you can tell us about Medhimama’s staff?”
“Yes! I did sneakily appraise her staff, and it allows the wielder to use any magic they know at no MP cost! She can use magic without chanting a spell at all!”
“Magic with no MP or cast time? That’s crazy OP.”
“Yes! Crazy! But items like that usually have a downside, in that the spell that goes off is random. I don’t think she should be able to choose the effect it casts…”
“Yet, Medhimama clearly can. Let’s assume that staff is mom-only cheat gear. That would at least explain it…but the fact that it worked on you as well is a bit much.”
“Yes! I was surprised! I’m registered as a noncombatant, so it shouldn’t have!”
“Seems like they really programmed it badly. And Medhimama’s not exactly gonna stop using it. We’re gonna have to do something to counter it somehow… Hmm…”
“What should we do? Hmm…”
Masato and Porta trailed off in thought.
“Oh! I have an idea! You know what this calls for? An eye for an eye!”
The object in Masato’s arms started squawking again, so he tightened the headlock to shut her up. Squeeeeeeeze.
Like he was trying to crack Wise’s skull.
“Ow, ow, ow! …Just kidding! Gotcha!” “Ouch!”
Wise had suddenly jumped, headbutting Masato right in the chin and freeing herself from his grasp.
“Listen to me for once! This is a good idea, I swear! This’ll definitely let us beat that old bat!”
“Old bat? Of all the phrases… Besides, I really don’t have time for your dumb ideas right now…”
“It’s not dumb! This situation calls for…Mamako!”
“Yes! I agree! Mama won’t lose!”
“Argh… That’s what I was afraid of.”
An eye for an eye. A mom for a mom. It did make sense.
Mamako was undoubtedly ridiculously powerful in every conceivable way. If you needed someone to stand up to Medhimama, you couldn’t ask for anyone better than Mamako. She was totally up to the task.
But even so…
“Um, hang on. Can we consider my feelings here?”
“Who cares about your feelings?”
“I do… This is a school, y’know. A place for kids. Having your mom show up here to bail you out? You might as well be dead.”
“Huh?” Wise scoffed. “Oh please, it ain’t that bad.”
“If my mommy showed up here, I’d be really happy!” Porta said, hopping up and down. “So, so happy! I’d jump for joy!” She was jumping at the very thought.
“Okay, maybe that’s just one difference between boys and girls, and, Porta, you’re still pretty little, so maybe you don’t get it yet… But like, seriously, no. I just can’t do that.”
“Hmm… Hey, Porta, you following him?”
“Um… Not really, no…”
“You don’t need to get it. Just…pretend we never discussed this. Don’t want that whole ‘speak of the devil’ thing happening, after all. Let’s just move on. Next idea.”
But just as Masato forced the topic closed…
A chime echoed over the PA system.
“Attention, all students. Hero Masato, Hero Masato. Your heroine awaits. Please come to the headmaster’s office immediately.”
It was a woman’s voice. Somewhat muffled, like she was holding her nose.
Wise and Porta frowned.
“Um… Didn’t that sound like Shirassse?”
“Yes! She’s trying to disguise her voice, but I think it’s her.”
Shirassse was clearly not fooling either of them.
But Masato wasn’t on the same page. Heck, he wasn’t even in the same room as them.
“My heroine is waiting for me?! …Gasp! You mean Medhi?! …Okay! I’ll be right there! Here I cooooooooooooooooooooooooooooome!”
Masato had gone flying out of the classroom.
“She’s waiting! My heroine is waiting for me!” he yelled, racing down the hall. “Oh! Wait, time-out!” He burst into the men’s room, fixed his hair in the mirror, and was off again. At speeds that totally messed his hair up again. Bound for the meeting of destiny in the headmaster’s office.
And when Masato got there, his eyes beheld a huggable figure, an alluringly short skirt, a girl in a sailor uniform, her back to him…
Huh? Sailor uniform?
W-wait… If she’s wearing the uniform…is she a normal student? Not Medhi?
The outfit was one thing, but the hair color and style were all wrong. This girl’s hair was chestnut and fell in gentle waves. Nothing like Medhi’s.
But there was still a chance she was a heroine. It was totally possible that a secondary heroine would show up to be the first heroine’s rival. That sort of thing happened all the time.
M-man… I’m getting nervous…
It was time to face her. Masato took a deep breath, stepped forward, and spoke.
“U-um… Are you my heroine?”
She turned around. It was…
“Yes, it’s me, Ma-kun!”
Mamako.
Masato sighed.
“I knew it. I had a feeling that’s what it would be.”
“O-oh? Ma-kun, you’re awfully calm. I thought you’d be so mad when you saw me here.”
“Ha-ha-ha. Hardly. I’m not about to start yelling ‘You’ve gotta be kidding!’ or ‘You’re breaking my heaaaaart!’ I’m not the kind of kid who loses it over something like this. You ought to trust your son a little more, you know.”
He even kept a smile on his lips.
But the fists buried deep in his pockets were clenched so tight they turned white. All his emotions concentrated there. His rage gauge at max. He could use an ultra-super-ultimate attack on a dime.
But on the surface, he stayed calm. He wasn’t a dumb kid.
“How about you start by explaining the outfit?”
“This? Well, Shirassse sent it to me. She said I might as well consider it a sort of memento. The junior high I went to had sailor uniforms, so it really takes me back, and I just had to try it on. Well? Does it look good?”
Mamako did a little twirl. The skirt swished up, betraying a glimpse of her skimpy undergarments. Whoops.
This was an attack with an instant-death effect for any son, but Masato gritted his teeth and survived. He nearly burst a blood vessel doing so.
“B-based purely on your face and figure, that’s not half-bad, but speaking as your son, it’s a big hell no! …Plus, the skirt is way too short. Quit rolling up the waistband to raise the hem. Put it back where it should be, all the way down to your knees.”
“Aww, but it’s cuter short. You’re such a harsh critic, Ma-kun.”
“No need to demand cuteness from school uniforms. Don’t bother.”
He felt like a dad scolding his daughter about her skirt length. It was simply unacceptable to have a family member dressed this inappropriately.
Especially his mother… Masato was fighting off the urge for a joint suicide with all his might. Enduring stats like these were the only things he was successfully raising.
Calmly, he moved on to the next question.
“So. Explain why, exactly, you had to come to school dressed like this.”
“Well, about that… You see, just as I’d tried on the uniform, I realized I had forgotten to include the chopsticks in your lunchboxes.”
“Oh, really? That is pretty important.”
“I know! So I figured I’d better get them to you right away and came all the way here without stopping to change… So here you go! Sorry Mommy is such a ditz.”
Mamako handed him a box of chopsticks. “Well, thanks, then.” You couldn’t very well eat lunch without chopsticks. He was genuinely grateful.
No, wait. A thought crossed his mind.
“Say, Mom. I’m sure this isn’t the case, but…you didn’t deliberately leave the chopsticks out, thinking it would give you the perfect excuse to show up at school, did you? You wouldn’t do that? Right?”
He kept a close eye on her reaction.
Mamako neither confirmed nor denied; she did an adorable little head tilt.
“I’m gonna need a yes or no response.”
“Mm? Mm…mmm?” She was still trying to grin her way out of it.
He couldn’t prove anything, but this was definitely intentional. He was sure she’d planned it.
But still, he forced himself not to yell at her. Masato was maturing. He had a big heart. Being able to eat his lunch was a good thing. All for the love of lunch. Lunch first.
Masato allowed himself a very large sigh and then accepted the situation.
“…All right, I’ll allow it. Just this once.”
“Thank you! I love it when you’re nice to me, Ma-kun.”
“Yeah, yeah… But honestly, if you’ve gotta show up, this is the way to do it. The damage done to me is still significant, and I mean significant…but if my own mother also showed up in the classroom I’d never live it down.”
“‘Also’? You mean…there are other moms in class?”
“Yeah. The lady we met yesterday, Medhimama. She barged in insisting she wanted to observe the class. Sat herself down between Medhi and me, getting in our way… I’m not too happy about it…”
“And what happened to Medhimama? Did security escort her away?”
“Nope. She was so pushy about it that she shoved Mr. Burly—who’s way bigger than any security—right out of her way, and he was forced to allow it. Seriously the worst.”
“Oh, I see… If you’re just pushy enough…” Mamako thought about this. Seriously considering it. “If you’re very, very pushy…” She started making arm movements like a sumo wrestler, even shouting “Dosukoi!” as if a match was about to begin.
Uh-oh. Masato had slipped up, and the result was clearly a precursor to danger. Parental emergency incoming.
“Um, Mom, I know you know better, but…”
“O-of course! I completely understand. If I did that, you’d hate me, right? I’d cry so much if you ended up hating me. I would never do that.”
“Good, good, I’m glad you get it. Moving on. If we’re done here, you’d better get back to the inn…”
“No, no,” a new voice said, and not the lady from reception. “It would be a shame to send Mamako away. You simply must head for the front lines.”
Peering through the window of the office was an eternally unperturbed nun. Sometimes she was a headmaster, sometimes a nun.
“What? Shiraaase…where’d you come from?”
“I don’t appreciate you reacting as if you’d spotted a bug, but so be it. Seeing as a parent-related problem is occurring in the classroom you’re in, I believe a burst of extreme meddling from your maximum-firepower party member is in order. Mamako, please act however you see fit. I will grant you the necessary permissions.”
“Oh! Why, thank you!”
“W-wait just a minute… You can’t! If you do that…”
The mood in class was about to get real weird.
“Right, let’s get second period started! Would the person on duty give the order?”
“Certainly,” Mamako said. “Very well, then… Everyone, rise! Bow! Take your seats.”
The students all stood up, took a bow, and sat down.
“Continuing from first period…”
“Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait!” Masato yelled. Mr. Burly was trying to start class as if nothing was wrong, and Masato was not having it. He slapped his desk several times, doing his level best to stop this.
“Wh-what is it, Hero Masato? What’s got you so upset?”
“I am way beyond ‘upset’! Please, Mr. Burly! You must have noticed something amiss just now! The person giving the order wasn’t even the one on duty! She’s not even a student! C’mon!”
Masato waved both hands dramatically at Mamako, sitting next to him in her sailor uniform.
Mr. Burly gave Mamako a long, hard look.
“…She’s clearly a student, isn’t she?” he said.
“Is there something wrong with your eyes?! Yeah, okay, as her son, even I’ve got to admit she does look like she belongs here, but let me be very clear! She is my mother! Understand?”
“Bwa-ha-ha! You certainly do seem to get a kick out of calling girls your age ‘Mom,’ young hero! …Should I be taking you to the hospital?”
“You should not!! …Argghh! Mom, please! You tell him!”
“R-right. It’s important to be clear on these things. Mr. Burly, I do apologize, but I am actually Ma-kun’s mother. My name is Mamako.”
“Huh…?”
Mr. Burly gave Mamako another look over, which turned into a long stare… He still seemed like he didn’t believe her.
“Um, so…you’re actually Masato’s mother?”
“That’s correct. It’s the honest truth… Oh, right, I do have my maternal and child health (MCH) handbook with me, if you’d care to look.”
“Why’re you carrying that around with you?! Who needs that once the kid’s my age?!”
“Wow, you always carry those records around with you? You really are the hero’s mother!”
“Yes. I just had to see how my son was doing at school, so I decided to join the class. I do apologize.”
Mamako bowed low.
Mr. Burly took all this in, then nodded. “Mm, very well. Then I grant you permission to join the class.” No reluctance at all.
“Hey!! Mr. Burly?!”
“Settle down, Masato. I can imagine how you must feel, but calm yourself and listen. I think—”
“You think what?”
“Spending time with your mother is, in fact, the main selling point of this game! The MMMMMORPG (working title). If a parent desires to be with their child, we should allow that to happen.”
“No, but… The school rules said…”
“Rules were made to be broken!” Mr. Burly declared, raising a fist to the sky. “To protect my students’ families, I’ll take on the school, even the game admins! Even if they treat it as a bug, I’d gladly get patched out if it meant I’d fought for my students! I’m only a few kilobytes of data! There’s no room in there for regrets!”
“That sure sounds cool, but it’s also suuuuuper annoying… Wait, are those ‘few kilobytes’ compressed data? Even still, isn’t that a little light for an entire life?”
Mr. Burly truly was the best teacher (past tense).
But then…
“If you’re quite done,” said a haughty, irate voice that grated on the ears.
It was Medhimama. She was at the back of the room, perched upon a specially prepared observer’s seat as if she owned the place, and had clearly reached the limits of her patience.
“Mr. Burly, may I ask exactly what the meaning of this bizarre behavior is? Emphasis on ‘bizarre.’”
“Huh? Bizarre how? I don’t think…”
“Your behavior is entirely out of line! When I attempted to join the class, you did everything you could to prevent it, but with Mamako, your reaction was quite the opposite!”
“Well, that’s because, on a basic human level, her qualities as a mother are much—”
“What did you say?!”
“N-nothing! I didn’t… After the incident with you, I discussed things with the board, and the board representative gave the go-ahead for these things! Thus, we were able to prepare an observer’s seat. Mamako is receiving no special treatment, so please calm yourself.”
Mr. Burly was making himself as small as his physique allowed, bowing his head repeatedly.
Medhimama let out a long, exasperated sigh. Her anger remained, but she spoke in much calmer tones. “I hardly think that’s likely, but I’ll just leave that be for now. It would never do for me to delay the start of class any further than it already has been… Mamako, won’t you join me? Parents and guardians sit over here.”
“Yes, of course… Ma-kun, good luck! I’ll be right behind you, watching your every move!”
“Just—don’t! Hurry up and sit down!”
Mamako finally moved to the observers’ seats. He really wished she wouldn’t say things like that.
This was all the result of his failure to stop her invasion.
“Pfft, I totally called this,” Wise said, giving him a very irritating smirk. Behind him, Porta was beaming happily. Masato was exhausted already.
I’m sure Medhi’s laughing at me, too…
He glanced to his left. Yep. Medhi was doing just as Medhimama said, sitting one seat away, and she was quietly giggling into her hand. He was a laughingstock.
…I’m done… Just kill me now…
Right now, Masato would gladly accept any form of death. His emotions were in tatters.
And second period was just beginning.
“Despite no combat having taken place, we seem to have someone in critical condition, but I doubt anyone here can heal his wounds, so let’s just get started. Continuing from first period, eyes up!”
Mr. Burly took chalk in hand and began writing on the board.
6 − 7 (6 − 8)
What was that?
“Just a quick review. The hero suggested that they face off in a round of tennis. Racket in hand, he faced the Demon Lord, managing to force a tiebreaker, but tragically lost. The defeated hero went to America to rebuild himself, but his sponsor said, ‘That’s not your job.’ Remembering his duty, he took his sword in hand and returned to the Demon Lord’s castle. That’s where we left off.”
“How did any of that make sense? Is there even an America here?!”
“Bwa-ha-ha! Since you slept through class, naturally you wouldn’t understand! But that’s what happened.”
And the problem was…
“The hero used Divine Slash. But the Demon Lord took no damage.”
…this again.
“I’m sure you’re thinking, ‘This again.’ But it is! The main problem has yet to be resolved. If he does not find a way to drag the real Demon Lord out of his hiding space, he can never win. What now?”
When you got right down to it, this was a simple problem. There were plenty of potential answers, anything from the hero finding a way to the hiding space, to using a special item that undid the spatial distortion, but that range made it hard to answer.
Masato’s party had to think about it. So did Medhi. A long silence filled the room.
This was not good.
I’m not liking this at all…
Was everyone but Medhi about to fall asleep, posed like they were thinking? That seemed likely. A lady at the back of the room could easily make that happen.
He glanced over his shoulder, and Medhimama had her staff in hand. She was already running interference.
But something wasn’t right.
Hmm… Weird… Nothing’s happening?
Medhimama was clearly trying to obstruct them, but the classroom hadn’t changed. Masato, Wise, and Porta were all just fine, and none of the other students seemed to have fallen asleep, either.
Could this mean…?
Then Masato caught a gleam out of the corner of his eye.
Huh? Mom’s elbow pad is glowing?
Medhimama waved the staff gently, and as she did, Mamako’s elbow pad lit up.
Confused, Medhimama tapped her staff. Mamako’s pad flashed. Nothing else happened. Medhimama waved the staff vigorously, twice. Mamako’s pad flashed, twice. Nothing happened. Was this…?
Oh, is this…another mom thing?
It was.
This was that special mom skill where you made too much food and it would never do to let it go to waste so you shared the leftovers with the neighbors.
Mamako had absently activated the skill A Mother’s Sharing, which allowed her to use her equipment’s null status effect protection on others!
But even she hadn’t noticed it. She was just happily waving back at him.
Next to her, the old bat was flailing her staff around wildly, snarling, “Wh-what in the…? Why isn’t it working? C’mon!”
It was kinda hilarious.
“…Pfft… Toxic bitch… Serves you right…”
Did he hear something just now?
It seemed like it came from Masato’s left, over where Medhi was sitting… No, no, there was no possible way. Words like those would never pass Medhi’s lips. He must be imagining it.
Never mind.
At any rate, looks like Mom’s saved us… Nicely done…
Masato wasn’t upset about it. He found himself grinning, even. But he couldn’t savor the victory just yet.
If he didn’t need to worry about interference, then he could focus on the problem. Masato had to figure out an answer here.
But…
“Oh, I know!”
The first to raise their hand was none other than Mamako.
Masato’s head throbbed. The whiplash from his good mood a moment before made his brain scream.
“Mom! Why are you trying to answer?”
“S-sorry. I just thought I might know…”
“Even if you do, you aren’t allowed to answer! This is our class!”
“No, go ahead,” Mr. Burly said. “Doesn’t seem like any students have an answer, so let’s hear what Mamako has to say. Special consideration, since she showed up in uniform!”
““Wha…?!”” yelped Masato and Medhimama as one.
Medhimama pulled up her window screen and quickly scrolled through her inventory…but it seemed like she didn’t actually have a sailor uniform. Whew. Having even more mothers in sailor uniforms would be a living portrait of hell.
While she was preoccupied…
“Well, Mamako, what’s your answer?”
“Oh, yes!”
The Demon Lord was hiding in another realm. What could be done? Mamako’s answer…
“If he refuses to come out, you should go find the Demon Lord’s mother and have her join you in asking him to come out. ‘There’s nothing to be afraid of. Mommy’s right here. It’ll be okay, so just come on out.’”
And hearing that, the Demon Lord would then say, ‘Well, if Mom says so, it must be safe. Okay, I’m coming out,’ and then come slithering out of whatever realm he’d hidden in…, she continued.
“Like hell he would!!”
“Hmm… Even the most evil criminals often respond to their mother’s call. I doubt a Demon Lord would be any different! If his mother called for him, he’d have to come out. Good job, Mamako! Thirty points to you!”
“Oh my! I get points?”
“Whaaat?! That was right?! And why so many points?!”
“Then here’s a problem for you, Mamako. The Demon Lord responds to his mother’s call and emerges from hiding. The first thing he does is speak to the hero. What does he say?”
“Let’s see… I suppose, ‘Why are you with my mom? Get away from her!’ That’s definitely what Ma-kun would say if he was the Demon Lord.”
“I would not! Why are you putting words in my mouth?!”
“Bwa-ha-ha! Clearly Hero Masato loves his mother! Correct! Thirty more points to Mamako!”
“How lovely!”
“How is that correct?!”
“Next problem! The Demon Lord Hero Masato plunges into battle to save Mamako, but…”
“Am I the Demon Lord or the hero here?! Actually, how ’bout you just leave me out of this entirely?! I’m not even involved here!! Ugh, anyway, let’s just abandon the entire story line, okay?!”
But Masato’s desperate cries fell on deaf ears.
Thanks to Mamako’s unconscious support, Medhimama’s ploys were completely foiled, and the rest of the class proceeded smoothly.
In a sense.
“…Sigh… Mom answered all the questions, got them all right, and made off with all the points…and got three times the points every time… Whyyy…?”
“Yeah… Was it moms get three times the points day or something…?”
“Nobody told us that?! And that’s hardly a benefit to the kids, is it?”
More like unmitigated spite. But Mamako’s point rate aside…
After school, it was time for students and guardians to go home together. Normally there wouldn’t be any parents or guardians there, but since there were, they also had to go home. After all, what else were they going to do? Stay at school?
This was fundamentally different from a tough boss at the end of a high-difficulty quest, but the day had forced Masato to face harsh realities in a way that left him deeply worn-out.
But as they left, he spied the Cleric mother and daughter walking ahead of them.
Oh! I’ve had enough of Medhimama, but there’s Medhi! The oasis of my heart!
She was the only one who could heal the exhaustion inside him. Like a man dying of thirst in the desert, Masato ran up behind them, calling out to Medhi.
“Hey, Medhi!”
“Mm? Oh, Masato.”
“On your way home?”
“Yes. We’re headed back to our lodgings… Oh, right. Thank you again for today. With you there, I was able to really enjoy myself.”
“O-oh, please! I didn’t do a thing, really!”
Perhaps he should have said, “If you wish it, I’ll always be by your side, milady,” and he did seriously consider it but concluded that there was no way.
Then Medhimama suddenly forced herself between the two of them.
“Hey…!”
“That’s quite enough small talk. Let us proceed.”
“C-certainly, Mother… Masato, farewell.”
“Ah… Aughhh…”
That was not nearly enough small talk. He was prepared to spend at least a few more minutes saying “See you again!” “Yes, tomorrow!” and earning himself the energy to live another day. He wanted to part with a smile.
But he couldn’t even speak to her. Medhimama had her defenses raised and was guarding Medhi flawlessly, walking her quickly away.
Masato deflated.
“Argh… What the hell…? Am I cursed by all mothers or something…?”
That would explain it. Perhaps that was the only explanation that made sense.
Their first day of school had been entirely about mothers, in the worst possible way.
And the results of the day…
Masato: 0 SP. Wise: 0 SP. Porta: 0 SP.
Mamako, unofficially: 360 SP.
What are you doing, Mom?! Masato had already lodged numerous complaints, but the results spoke for themselves.
Their week at school had only just begun. They had a long road ahead of them.
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