Chapter 2 At Mom’s Guild, Business Is Booming! …But We’d Be Better Off Without These Guests!
Morning.
For Masato, it was the first morning in a long time that actually felt like a morning.
Oh, right… That’s what mornings are like…
Bright light on his closed lids. Actual morning light. How refreshing!
For quite a while now, Masato had been resting in peace after the instant-death spell Wise always cast on him in the evening.
He’d gotten used to Alzare in a coffin, so all this light threw him for a loop, but this was a real morning. How he should be waking up. Masato opened his eyes, feeling amazing…
“Oh, you’re up? Morning, Ma-kun!”
“Mm, morning… Wait… Mom?!”
…only to see Mamako’s face was inches from his. If he’d lifted his head at all, there’d have been some forbidden contact. “Mmf!!” Masato desperately flattened himself against the bed.
“M-Mom! What are you doing?!”
“Breakfast is ready, so I came to wake you up! Everyone else is already awake, and you’re the only sleepyhead still in bed.”
“Right, right! I’m sorry! I’ll get up, so please just get off of me! You’re in my way!”
“In your way…? Sniff… You’re making me cry.”
“Don’t cry! You seriously need a thicker skin than that! …Arghhh! I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have put it that way! I’m getting up now!”
Masato pushed Mamako out of the way and hopped down off the rather rustic bed.
The floor beneath his feet let out a creak…followed by a snap.
“Augh!! The floorboard broke?!”
“Oh my goodness! Ma-kun, are you okay?! Did you get hurt?!”
“Uh, no, I’m fine. You don’t need to baby me like that. Geez…”
Mamako had seized her chance, and Masato was forced to push her back, pulling his foot out of the floor. Fortunately, he didn’t get cut. Whew.
Masato had been sleeping in one of the rooms in Mom’s Guild. Except for the bed, there was nothing in the room—it was maybe a bit too minimalist.
And there were no windows, doors, or even frames for those; there were a number of cracks in the floor with weeds growing out of them. It was clearly a ruin of a room.
“Sigh… Here I thought it was the most pleasant morning I’ve had in a while, but it sure stopped being pleasant fast. There’s a limit to how run-down a place can be… Was your room intact?”
“Yes. Porta’s Item Creation took care of the decor, and the floor didn’t break or anything. I think you should definitely have slept with me, Ma-kun.”
“No, absolutely not. I rejected that idea, so you can give it a rest… Still…”
“Yes. We have to do something. So, Ma-kun…”
“Yeah, breakfast first, right? Let’s eat!”
He was starving. Nutrition first. Masato took an enthusiastic step forward and immediately broke another floorboard. “Oh my! Ma-kun, are you okay?” “Grr, so many traps…” He’d done it again. This was his reality.
Mom’s Guild had only just begun.
Breakfast was in the inn’s dining room.
They had prioritized repairing the room the girls had slept in and had not had time for this room yet, so it was still a wreck. The legs on the dining hall table had broken and rendered it unusable, so they had found a decent-sized board, propped it up on some rocks, and were using that as a makeshift table.
While the room might have been a mess, Mamako was here, so the food was flawless.
The hero, his mother, and a Sage on one side, the Cleric, the Traveling Merchant, and the nun on the opposite.
Rice, miso soup, eggs, natto, seasoned seaweed, and furikake, all eaten with chopsticks.
“A fantasy world…and a dining room that looks to predate even that. But whatever! Let’s eat.”
“““““Thanks for the food!””””””
“Okay, eat up!”
Who cared about the setting? Neither the world nor the room was right for such a Japanese meal, but that was how they always started their mornings. This was an ironclad rule.
Swirling his chopsticks in an egg to pour over his rice, Masato spoke up first. He had something to talk about.
“Um…hey, everybody, listen up. I’ve got something I need to say.”
“Oh, Ma-kun, what is it?”
“First, I’d like to add an item to the agenda pertaining to the name of our guild…”
“I’m afraid once a name is registered it can’t be changed,” Shiraaase said.
Shot down.
“Argh… Th-then let’s think about the guild itself. We’ve made one, sure, but there’s still a big problem. Remember what Amante said, especially the part about our numbers? …Hey, Wise, d’you remember?”
“Our numbers? …Umm… Oh, come to think of it, she did say we had no way of increasing them.”
“Yes! Exactly! She put all the adventurers in town under her control. Leaving us with no way to increase our numbers.”
“That certainly is a concern, but we have Mamako with us, so…won’t that be enough?”
“No, um, Medhi… See, Mom being with us doesn’t solve literally everything… Also, I’m here, too, y’know?”
“Mama makes the impossible possible! I feel like she does anyway!”
“Oof… Porta, clearly you have absolute faith in her, but…be that as it may, I’ve got a bad feeling about this… Also, I’m still here, y’know?”
The newly established Mom’s Guild currently had five members. Shiraaase was an admin and unable to participate, so it was just the five of them.
If they couldn’t increase their numbers somehow, getting to the top of the tower would be a challenge.
“It seems you will have to do something about the guild personnel. I will help in any way I can.”
Shiraaase laid her chopsticks down. “Thanks for breakfast.” “Oh, you’re done already?” Shiraaase’s plate was clean. That was quick.
“Today, I’ll see what can be done from the operations side. I won’t be back for a while, so please do take care. Oh, that’s right. One piece of infooormation I mustn’t forget to tell you.”
“What?”
“I realized this hardly makes up for the trouble we’re causing you, but I’d like to present you all with some gifts as a small token of our appreciation. I believe they’ve already been delivered to your item storage, so please take a look later on. So long!”
Shiraaase bowed politely and left the room.
Gifts?
“Gifts from Shiraaase… That just seems ominous…”
“Basically everything she gives us is for Mamako. Oh, but this time she did say ‘all,’ so maybe we get something, too?”
“I wonder what it could be! Should we check at once?”
“Okay! I’m so excited!”
“Hee-hee. Yes, I wonder what presents Ms. Shiraaase gave us.”
Time for an item check. Everyone gently tapped the air in front of them, pulling up their status window. They clicked the ITEM selection and scrolled down their list of items.
And there! Astonishingly enough!
“Huh… It’s actually not that bad.”
“You’re right. I really like it.”
“I’ve never worn clothes like this before, so I’m really happy!”
Wise, Medhi, and Porta had all equipped the gifts from Shiraaase.
All three of them were wearing frilly dresses, the frills flouncing this way and that. There was even a frilly white thing on their heads.
“Hey, Master, if you want something, just spit it out! How ’bout that?” Wise called out cheekily.
“Wise, that language is hardly appropriate. This is how it should be done… Master, I await your instructions.”
With the full power of her beauty on display, Medhi smiled and bowed.
“Um, um… Master! Please leave everything to me!” Porta piped up, as earnest as ever.
Three maids had appeared.
Masato stared at them, stunned, as if blinded by their maid smiles.
“Um…”
When he proved at a loss for words, a further maid attack activated!
Wise and Medhi both did a spin, their dresses billowing out, then put their hands together. “Kya-ha! ” “Heh-heh! ” A cheeky maid and a dark power maid buddy pose!
Then Porta did a spin, too. “Here goes… Whoa!” She almost lost her balance, but that just made it cuter! A cute and earnest little spin!
In the run-down entrance hall of the ruined inn, the sheer elegance of this attack left Masato reeling with bliss damage.
“Guh… Porta is one thing, but now I’m being charmed by Medhi and even Wise…!”
“What’s that ‘even’ for? Just go ahead and drool over us. You’re totally capable of being a creep like that!”
“That’s right, Masato. Go right ahead and obsessively fawn over us like one of those boys who likes maids a little too much.”
“If you weren’t actively requesting it, I could happily fawn and drool all day!”
“Um, Masato! Do I look weird in this?”
“Nope, nope, not weird at all! You looks great!”
The tongue was made to spread evil. Even as he fawned over Porta, he forced himself to choke down a follow-up about how good Wise and Medhi looked.
Masato admired the three maid costumes Shiraaase had provided one more time and had to admit it.
“Hmm, well done… I honestly didn’t expect much from Shiraaase’s gifts, but she was really spot-on this time.”
“Yeah. I might actually respect her a little now. This is really nice! It’s the perfect size, too.”
“Although in your case, Wise, the perfect size means perfectly flat…”
“Hey, Medhi, let’s take this outside.” Twitch, twitch.
“So what did you get, Masato?” Porta asked.
“Oh, me? I, uh…got the same thing.”
Masato awkwardly held out a matching maid outfit. “Wow, congrats.” “Congratulations.” “Can’t say I’m thankful.” “We all match!” “Y-yeah, I guess we do…” He was pretty sure there was a mistake here, but…it was his size and everything. Not that he’d tried it on. He’d just held it up to his shoulders a moment.
Anyway, all four of them now had maid costumes…
“Um, I just had a thought,” Wise muttered. “If we all got the same thing, then…”
Just a moment later:
“Sorry to keep you all waiting! With the taps in the kitchen not working, washing up took such a long time… Oh? Oh my! So many adorable maids!”
There was Mamako. She came walking into the entrance hall, admiring the girls’ outfits.
She was wearing her usual dress and apron.
“Huh? You’re dressed all normal.”
“Yeah… You aren’t wearing a maid costume…”
“Did you get something different, Mamako?”
“Nah, Mom got the same thing. I just told her not to put it on. Everything Shiraaase gives out is a threat to my sanity, from the sailor uniform to the school swimsuit. I knew if Mom put on whatever it was, I’d be the one paying the price, so I immediately forbade her from ever wearing the maid outfit.”
“Huh? That’s just sad.”
“I was so looking forward to your overblown reaction, Masato. Pity.”
“I’m not doing it for your entertainment!”
Masato wasn’t stupid. He’d learned from his experience, developed defensive instincts, and taken preemptive actions. “Boring!” “Hopes dashed.” “I wanted Mama to match us, too…” “Does no one care about my feelings?” Masato’s survival was on the line here. This was the way it had to be.
And so Mamako looked just like she always did.
“Maid Wise, Maid Medhi, and Maid Porta. You are all adorable. I love it so much!”
“Mwa-ha-ha, thank you, thank you very much.”
“Much obliged… Although personally, I would have loved to have you join us, Mamako…”
“But I don’t want to see Masato suffer! I can live without it!”
“Yes, well put, Porta! You’re the best… And I think that’s enough chatter about the costumes. Let’s focus.”
The five of them needed to figure out their goals for the day.
“Due to lack of personnel, we’ll have to clear the tower another time. Shiraaase’s handling the investigation…so what does that leave for us to do?”
“Clearly, we gotta do something about this ruin. Repair and clean it. Which is where us maids come in. Today we gotta be maids all day and focus on maid work.”
“I’m not entirely sure remodeling buildings counts as maid work, but I do agree we should at least bring the place up to habitable levels.”
“Leave that to my Item Creation! As long as I have the materials, I can fix this building or make it even more incredible!”
“I can’t wait to see it, Porta. Well, everyone, today is the first day of Mom’s Guild. Let’s all work hard!”
““““Right!””””
With Mamako’s pep talk, everyone pumped a fist high in the air and set to work.
Mamako and Wise saw them off.
“Take care out there! And you can relax and work at a comfy pace, if you like.”
“That’s what Mamako says, but we’ve got a mountain of work waiting for us, so don’t forget that.”
Masato, Medhi, and Porta were heading out.
“Okay, shopping team moving out! Anyone forgetting anything?”
“Shopping list, money… No, I’m ready.”
“Off to town we go! I’m so excited!”
The party had split into the home guard team and the shopping team. Today’s goal was to get the guild base repaired. This was an urgent mission of critical importance.
The shopping team was off to town to buy the building materials they needed. After saying good-bye to Mamako and Wise, they left the plateau the inn stood on.
“Okay, Porta, let’s go!”
“Yes! I’m coming!”
Medhi took Porta’s hand, and the two ran off happily. Masato smiled as he ambled along after them, gazing at the two maids as they headed into the… Hmm, wait.
An idea struck him.
“…Hey, Medhi, Porta. Assuming the two of you are heroines, shouldn’t you be running off with me? Isn’t that how it works?”
Medhi would grab Masato’s arm, squeezing her quite noticeable chest against him as he turned bright red.
Porta would suddenly take his hand, urging him on like an innocent darling, bringing out all of Masato’s brotherly instincts.
Yet, no such thing happened. Not even any hints it would happen.
“…Well, whatever. It was just a thought. Ha-ha.”
With a hollow laugh, he looked up at the blue sky, wiping his eyes. He wasn’t crying. These weren’t tears.
On they walked, Medhi and Porta enjoying themselves, Masato wallowing in loneliness, until they reached the town.
The three of them headed down the main road lined with item and equipment shops. They breathed the salty sea breeze, with the faint lapping of the waves as background music.
It was still early, so there weren’t that many people on the road yet. Porta spotted their target.
“Ah, there’s a general goods store! I bet they’ll have what we’re looking for!”
“Porta’s sensors are firing again! Come on, Masato!”
“Got it. Let’s do this.”
It was a big store, several times the size of the shops around it. Out front there were piles of wood and stone and gardening supplies.
Inside there were displays filled with daily necessities, furniture, even building walls and roofs.
“Wow, this is like a hardware store that’s trying too hard. But it’s definitely what we’re after. Looks like they sell all the common item materials, so we could stock up on anything we’re short of in that department, too. Never know when Amante might decide to bring the fight to us.”
“Yes, she seems to view us as enemies,” Medhi said, looking around. “She could very well attack at any moment.”
One of the Four Heavenly Kings of the league of evil might just pop up in the town’s general store…
“Nah.”
“No way.”
That would be ridiculous. What could possibly lead to that? There was no point worrying about it.
“Enough chitchat; let’s buy some stuff!”
“Yes. We need materials to repair the guild base… Whaddaya say, Porta?”
“Yes! They have a lot of building materials! We can make Mom’s Guild’s base look amazing! Ahhhh! I’m so excited!”
The creative soul within her sparked, Porta could no longer restrain herself. “That wall and that roof… Oh, but that wall’s nice, too!” Her eyes were darting all over the place, and she started scurrying here and there, to and fro. Totally forgetting the group.
It was adorable. So adorable it was impossible to think anything else.
“This is Porta’s paradise. A paradise where we can sit and watch Porta frolic to our hearts’ content.”
“Guaaards! I’ve got your guy right here!”
“Not in a weird way! Stop yelling! …Not that anyone’s coming…”
“Um, sir?”
“Whoa, they actually did?!”
The voice came from behind him. Was he about to be arrested? Like, actually arrested? Shaking in his boots, a drop of cold sweat running down his brow, he turned…
It wasn’t a security guard. It was a woman wearing an apron with the store’s logo. If he were to be rude enough to guess her age, he’d guess that she was probably in her forties. And a little on the plump side.
The moment Masato saw her friendly smile, a light bulb went off in his mind. “Oh, she’s a mother,” he whispered to himself.
He was instantly convinced of it. As certain as he’d ever been of anything. He’d immediately identified the pack of women at the town entrance as mothers, but this was even more obvious.
He knew for sure this lady was someone’s mo—
“Um, Masato? What are you…?”
“Huh? …Oh…!”
When Medhi poked him, he finally snapped out of it.
Immediately declaring any woman he sees a mother? What? That made no sense. It was just dumb. He was embarrassing himself.
Surprised by this response, the woman laughed—at him. Gah.
“Tee-hee, that certainly wasn’t the response I expected! But you’re right. I am a mother… Although I’m surprised you could tell.”
“Huh? …Oh, uh… Yeah, I dunno, it just came to me.”
“No, this is clearly your special power, Masato! Your hero power allows you immediately discern if someone is a mother or not! …Just kidding. Heh-heh.”
“Medhiiiiii!! Quit saying random stuff like thaaaat!! No way that’s the case here…right? It’s not true, right? Tell me it isn’t!”
It would really suck if she wasn’t joking. Like, seriously suck. Think about it…
Masato, the boy brought into the game world with his mother.
A boy designated a hero, yet his mother outdid him in strength, leadership, and anything else imaginable.
And his unique power allowed him to identify if someone was a mother or not.
Where would that leave him?
If that was the case…who even was he? What was the point of him at all?
No. It can’t be true… Please, someone tell me it isn’t…
This was like a saint discovering they had a natural affinity for evil, only like, a hundred times more painful and depressing. It left him practically catatonic.
But then someone called out to the mom storekeeper.
“You there! I’m looking for washboards and laundry detergent. How about some help over here?”
This arrogant request came from a brusque girl with her hair tied back in a ponytail. She wore light armor and had a black coat slung over her shoulders. At her hip was a thin sword, and in her hands were shopping baskets filled to the brim with toilet paper.
It was Amante.
“Sigh… With this many people, securing the necessary supplies is a real chore… Oh, right. I need to buy some compresses for myself. Gotta treat my butt and shin… Huh?”
At this point, Amante saw Masato’s group staring at her, and her eyes narrowed. “W-wait a minute!” She hastily hid the toilet paper nearby, sealing away the mundaneness of it.
A sinister aura billowed forth as she turned her scornful gaze to Masato’s group once again.
“You’re Mamako Oosuki’s son and companions! To think we would meet in a place like this… Shopping, are you? Goodness, don’t you have anything better to do?”
“You’re doing the exact same thing, you know.”
“Um, Masato, she hit her butt and shin on the stairs yesterday, and it sounds like she’s trying to get treatment now, but it’s far too late and they’re both going to have a nasty bruise. Poor thing.”
“Y-you there, maid! That’s a horrible assumption to make! Now you’ve got me very concerned!!”
Apparently, that was not a matter girls could treat lightly. Amante looked seriously ready to cry.
But she did her best to recover and plastered a villainous grin across her face.
“A-anyway! My body never bruises! And bruises vanish in time! …More importantly, let me tell you something—”
“No, they won’t vanish. You’ll have those bruises forever, and then you’ll lose all confidence in your body. From this point on, every time you see your butt or shin, you’ll heave a very sad sigh. You poor thing.”
“Unh… Sniff… Wahhhh!”
Medhi was a little too merciless, and Amante really did burst into tears.
“M-Medhi! I think that’s enough! For your own sake, dial it down.” “Tch, all right.” The sheer venom of her dark power threatened to permanently ruin Medhi’s image. He had to stop her.
“See, Amante? It’s okay now. If you have something to tell us, we’re listening. Go ahead.”
“Hic! I don’t care anymore! I’ve got nothing to tell you now! There’s no point! I mean, we’re enemies!”
“Sure, we seem to be… But that aside, go ahead and just blab everything like you did yesterday. You’re dumb enough to do that, right?”
“I’m not dumb! …Gah… I’ve had enough! You can’t make me say it no matter what you do! I’m never telling you I called in a hit on your base!”
“Huh? A hit?”
Apparently, not only had Amante decided Masato and his party were her enemies for no good reason, but she’d also already gone and started attacking the Mom’s Guild castle.
This might actually be serious… No, that was just a passing fancy.
Hmm… But Mom’s there, so it won’t be a problem.
If they were attacking the guild base, they’d just wind up answering to Mamako’s overpowered abilities. He didn’t know what form Amante’s hit would take, but no matter who showed up, they never stood a chance. Mamako would win easily, and Masato would never get to lift a finger. It would go down just the way it always did.
Masato looked tense for like, a second, and then let out a long sigh, regaining his calm.
But then…
“Masato! Medhi! Porta! If you’re in here, answer me!”
…Wise’s voice suddenly echoed through the room. She was supposed to be guarding the fort with Mamako…
Masato turned toward the front door and saw a maid on a rampage, clutching her frilly skirt tight—Maid Wise. “Ah! There you are!” Wise spotted them and came racing over.
“Whoa, what the heck? Why are you here—?”
“Talk later! Right now, you’ve gotta hurry back to base! It’s real bad over there! At this rate, Mamako might actually lose!”
“…Huh?”
Mamako? Lose?
Those were two words that had never before gone together. The very concept made Masato’s brain shut down. “Don’t just stand there! Medhi, Porta, grab hold of me!” “R-right!” “Everyone’s here!” Wise grabbed Masato’s arm, shot Amante some side-eye, and then activated a teleport spell…
The four of them were back at the plateau on the edge of town, right outside the ruined inn.
“Come on! Hurry! To Mamako!”
“O-okay!”
Wise gave him a push, and Masato broke into a run.
He was definitely worried now.
No way… How it is it even possible for her to lose?!
It wasn’t. There was no way it could be. But as hard as it was to believe, Wise’s desperation definitely made it seem like the impossible was really happening.
“Augh… Mom!”
Hoping she was still unharmed, he burst into the inn. And there…
…he found Mamako in the entrance hall wearing an apron over her usual clothing. This was cleaning-style Mamako, equipped with a bandanna tied around her head to protect it from dust and splashes.
In front of her was a crystal ball the size of an infant, along with a strange person who had a hood pulled over their eyes. From their size, it was most likely a male—a well-built one.
What was going on here?
“Like I said, ma’am, simply placing this crystal ball here guarantees customers will flock to the place. They’ll just keep coming one after the other! Amazing, right?”
“Th-that’s true… If we had that, all kinds of people would come here, and our guild would grow in no time…”
“It certainly would! I guarantee it. Every guild needs one of these. But, ma’am, this offer is only good today. It’s a special discounted price that won’t be seen again for quite some time.”
“I see… Today only…”
“So I’m telling you, ma’am, you don’t have time to think about it. You need to make up your mind right now!”
Once Masato heard this exchange, he knew.
That explained it.
Of all the things this could be… A door-to-door salesman, reeeeeally…?
Yep. A salesman here to sell her something she didn’t need.
All that worrying for this… Masato felt like a total idiot. Argh.
He also felt incredibly embarrassed for yelling “Augh… Mom!” and bursting in there. Ugh.
“…Hey, Wise. Gimme your head. I need to smack it.”
“Hey! Why do I have to get hit?! This is serious here! …Ah, look!”
Wise frantically pointed to the scene unfolding between Mamako and the salesman.
“Oh, that’s right, you said you were adventuring with your son? Then you’ll have to buy this. I’m sure your son would be delighted with this purchase!”
“Ma-kun would be delighted? …Okay, I’ll pay whatever you ask!”
Mamako took out her wallet. For Masato’s happiness, no price was too steep.
“See! If they just bring you up, Mamako will lose instantly! I saw this threat coming and came running! I was totally right!”
“Uh, well… Fair. You were right to be concerned…”
But this was nothing like what he’d imagined. This was so different. So very, very different.
But he definitely needed to stop it.
“Sigh… All right.”
He’d leave Wise’s punishment for later. He stepped forward.
Rudeness worked best in situations like this. Masato just placed himself right between Mamako and the salesman.
“Uh, if you’ll excuse me.”
“Oh, Ma-kun! Everyone! Perfect timing! This man—”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it. He’s a pushy salesman. Thanks very much,” Masato said, greeting the man sarcastically.
The salesman’s smile froze. This guy had rather stern features for his line of work. He looked more like a local thug. Kinda intimidating…
But Masato wasn’t about to lose here. If he showed any signs of weakness, they’d end up buying the thing. He needed to push this guy right out.
“So, Mr. Pushy Salesman. I’m gonna have to ask you to leave. I don’t need you selling your useless crap to my mother.”
“No, no, nooo, my boy. I assure you, it is not useless! Our products are genuine rare items, and they work exactly as described—”
“You don’t say? Then you won’t mind if we verify that… Porta, got a moment?”
“Okay! Leave it to me!”
Porta came trotting forward and looked the crystal ball over. “Hmmm… This is…” Porta had the Appraise skill, and her judgment was always correct. If this was some dime-store glass sphere, she’d know right away…and that’s precisely what Masato expected.
But Porta suddenly started shaking and looked up at Masato with panic in her eyes.
“Uhhhhh, M-M-M-Maaasato! Masatoooo!”
“What is it, Porta? You’re even cute when you panic.”
“Th-thank you? N-no, th-th-this… This is…”
“This is?”
“A bomb! A bomb big enough to blow the whole inn uuuuup!”
“Huh? A bomb? …One big enough to blow up the… WHAAAAAT?!”
He didn’t want to believe it, but Porta was never wrong.
This crystal ball actually was a powerful bomb.
“Duuuude!! Why the hell would you try to sell us something like that?! Take this thing outta… Uh, what? Where’d he go?!”
There was no sign of the salesman. He must have booked it while they were distracted by the bomb.
The crystal ball began to glow—a pulsing red light accompanied by a screeching noise that clearly spelled danger.
Was this the countdown starting?
Everyone went pale.
“Uh… Uh-oh… Is it gonna explode?! Are we about to get blown up?!”
“Masato, do something! Now!”
“Do what?! …Uh…uh…”
“Pick up the bomb and jump into the ocean with it, Masato! That will save us, at the very least! Go on, Masato! Be our hero!”
“Right, got it! …Wait, why do I have to jump in with it?! Can’t I save myself, too? Can’t I just throw it in the ocean?! That way—”
“Ah! It’s flashing faster! It’s about to blowwwww!”
“WHAAAAT?! E-everyone, run for iiiiit!!”
The crystal bomb was at its limit. It could explode at any second. There was nothing that could be done but try to get outside the blast zone.
Then…
“Hmm… Oh, I know. Okay!”
Mamako suddenly sat down next to the crystal bomb.
She then put it on her knees, wrapping it in a warm embrace.
“Come now, don’t cry. Mommy’s right here, so it’ll all be okay. There, there. Who’s a good boy?”
Soothing tones, gentle rubs, there theres. Like she was quieting a fussy child.
Masato couldn’t comprehend what he was seeing.
“Wha…? Mom?! What are you doing?! What in the—?!”
“I’m comforting it, of course! …This bomb was throwing a tantrum like a little baby, right? So I just thought if Mommy held it, it might settle down.”
“There’s no way that’ll work!! You can’t soothe a bomb—!”
Or at least, you shouldn’t be able to.
But as Mamako patted the crystal’s back, the flashing and siren slowed, and the crystal bomb grew silent. “Um…seriously?” Seriously. It was completely safe once more.
The surface of the crystal bomb was peaceful, like the face of a baby that had fallen asleep in its mother’s arms.
What had happened? There was only one answer.
This was another special mom skill—A Mother’s Soothing.
“When a baby starts crying, you give it a hug and soothe it. Then they’ll quiet down real quick. I used to do that with you, Ma-kun. Hee-hee. This brings back memories.”
“Um, w-wait a sec. That only works on babies… You’re hugging a bomb, Mom…”
“That’s true, but to mothers, there’s not much difference between a bomb and a baby. They both just erupt out of nowhere and cause a huge fuss… If you think of it that way, bombs are actually pretty adorable! Hee-hee-hee.”
“Uh, no, bombs are definitely not adorable…”
A mother’s love could allow her to treat even an explosive like her own child, and that proved every bit as effective as a bomb disposal squad… Yeah, that doesn’t make any sense.
Still, this was how Mamako operated.
Mamako’s actions had once again saved the day, and now it was noon.
Electing to eat lunch somewhere with a nice view, they’d carried the board outside the inn and placed it on some stones of the right height. Mamako lined up some handmade sandwiches on it, and everyone was enjoying lunch.
Mamako was sitting next to Masato. Too close for comfort.
“Ma-kun, you were so cool back there. When you burst in to save Mommy and the way you fought that salesman. It was wonderful! You’re Mommy’s hero, Ma-kun.”
“Ugh… I’m the sort of hero who fights only duplicitous salesmen… That’s my only accomplishment…”
“Oh, I know! I want you to eat this sandwich, Ma-kun. I think it’s the best of all the ones I made today. Can I feed it to you? Say, ‘Ah!’”
“Geez, knock that off! You’re getting carried away! If you don’t stop that right now, I’m gonna have to get angry!”
“Oh my. Ma-kun’s ready to explode. I’ll have to use A Mother’s Soothing on you. Come on, Ma-kun. Into my arms!”
“Please stop! Just let me eat like a normal person!”
Saving her from the pushy salesman caused her to cling to Masato like a grateful heroine. This was far too much, and he was getting extremely annoyed.
Masato considered forcefully pushing her away, but…
“Listen, Masato. Mamako really saved us back there, so maybe she deserves a little reward? At least let her soothe you.” Smirk.
“I agree. Letting her soothe you is the best way to show your gratitude. Right here in front of all of us.” Grin.
“Mama’s soothing looks so relaxing!” I’m jealous!
The maids across the table were all in favor of it. Porta looked genuinely envious, but the other two were clearly malicious, urging Masato to let Mamako dote on him out of sheer spite.
Well, he could answer that call…in their dreams. Letting his mother soothe him was completely out of the question.
Time to forcefully change the subject!
“Oh, hey! This is no time to talk about ridiculous crap! We’ve got more important things to worry about!”
“Huh? Like what? I can’t imagine what could be more important than this.”
“No, really! Like that salesman from earlier!”
That lunatic had tried to sell them a bomb. That alone was worth discussing…and there was one other reason to do so.
“C’mon, Medhi. You remember, right? What Amante said?”
“Oh, now that you mention it… She did say she’d called in a hit on our base. You mean…she was talking about that salesman?”
“That’s what I’m thinking. And I’m pretty sure I’m right…”
Before Masato could say another word, Mamako leaned in against him.
“Oh? Ma-kun, you all met Amante again? Where? What does this talk about a hit mean?”
“Ah, yeah, I guess I did see her in the store. I was in such a hurry I didn’t really register it… Porta, can you fill me in?”
“Huh? …U-um… S-sorry! I’m not quite sure…”
“Porta was busy poring over what the store had to offer, so I’m not surprised she never noticed. I’ll bring everyone up to speed…”
But before he could…
“I really don’t see why you need to explain that you happened to bump into me in the general store buying up all the toilet paper like a frumpy housewife.”
…another voice explained what happened. He turned to look.
Speak of the devil. Amante was walking up the path to the plateau.
“What…are you doing here?”
“Does it matter? There’s no reason I should have to tell you that I came to check because the explosion never happened.”
“Yep, she’s definitely the kind of idiot who just explains everything at the slightest prompting. So useful!”
“What?! You there, maid! You will not call me an idiot again! I’m not a useful idiot, I’m—!”
“Can I ask a question? You mentioned you’d called in a hit. Was that the salesman from earlier?”
“Hmph. Naturally it was, but that’s no reason for me to answer honestly!”
“Sending us a bomb is mean! I don’t like it!”
“What are you talking about? We’re enemies, remember? I didn’t know how to handle you in the tower and felt like you were too much for me, so why wouldn’t I send you a bomb?”
“Now she’s explaining stuff we didn’t even ask about…”
Idiots were so useful. All the party had to do was let her ramble and they could squeeze all the info they needed out of her. Hard to see her as a serious threat, really.
Then Mamako stood up.
“Um, Amante, do you have a moment?”
“I told you, no matter what you ask me, I’ll never answer… Eep! …Mamako Oosuki?!”
The moment Mamako spoke to her, Amante’s expression suddenly turned wary. She quickly took several steps back, then drew her sword.
But while Amante was all prepared to fight, Mamako just wanted to talk.
“Wait,” Mamako said. “I have no intention of fighting you. I just want to ask you—”
“Stay away! Don’t talk to me!”
“D-don’t talk like that, now. Please. Just listen. All the adventurer children are gathered at your place, right? Their mothers are all worried about them, so I think they should come home soon—”
“Stay back! Stop talking! I refuse any contact with you!”
When Mamako took a step forward, Amante took a step back. When Mamako tried to speak, Amante shouted over her, adamant in her rejection.
Amante seemed pretty relaxed in her dealings with Masato and the maids but was clearly deathly afraid of Mamako. It was downright unnatural.
Amante kept backing away from Mamako before she finally turned on her heel and fled.
Masato hastily called after her, “W-wait! You can’t keep showing up and then running away! Why’d you even come here? Was it just to check on us?”
“You can ask, but do you think I’ll be nice enough to answer? I came to tell you the next hit was already in motion, but now I’m not gonna bother!”
“Huh? …The next hit…?!”
But no sooner had the words left his mouth…
…than a loud noise echoed from the ruined inn. A loud crash, like something massive falling over.
“Tch! What now?! …I’ll go check it out.”
Masato turned to run off. “Wait up!” “It’s dangerous to go alone!” “Let’s all go!” His party called after him. He was their leader! Naturally, they were concerned for his well-being. This was wonderful, he thought, looking back.
“All right, Mamako, come on!”
“Mamako, hurry!”
“Mama! I’m all set! Give the order!”
“Thank you, everyone. Let’s go!”
Everyone had gathered around Mamako. Yep, he should have known better. He’d had a hunch, at least.
He wanted to curl up in a ball and cry, but this was an emergency. “Pfft, this happens all the time,” Masato snorted and ran off. Not crying. Definitely not crying.
By the time they reached the ruined inn, the entrance was already a disaster.
“Wow, what happened?!”
“Oh my! What a fright!”
The front door had been smashed in, and pieces of it were everywhere. The walls had already been crumbling, but now there was nothing left of them, only the support pillars remaining.
The culprits were in plain sight. Ten rough-hewn roustabouts, clearly all muscle brained but also definitely formidable, cackled in guttural tones.
One of the thugs stepped forward: a man with a Mohawk and the biggest muscles. He glared at them, snarling…and Masato recognized him.
“Hey! You’re the salesman!”
“That’s right! Thank you for your patronage… Ha! Heh-heh-heh.”
Clearly, this was his true form. The way he spoke now matched his general vibe.
“Yo, we’re takin’ over. We’re with the Libere Rebellion… Not like we need to tell you that, though.”
“So you’re Amante’s minions?!”
“That’s right. I’m glad you understand. I may have messed up earlier, but this time we’ll get the job done… ’Ey, you guys!”
“You got it, Pocchi! Let’s smash this place up!”
“Smaaaashhhhhhhh! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”
At Pocchi’s orders, the hoodlums began to rampage. They swung their swords and axes around, attacking the remaining pillars and the stairs.
This was no time for standing and gawking. They had to stop this. Masato drew his sword and got ready to charge in.
“Hey! Stop that, or we’ll—!”
“You’ll what, kid? Fight us? Bad idea. You lay a finger on us, it’ll just make things worse.”
“Worse how?”
“Like this.”
Pocchi took a piece of paper and a small crystal out of his pocket. “Right, first, like this…” he muttered and then pressed his thumb into the crystal.
As he did, there was a huge explosion behind Masato’s group. “Wha…?!” He spun around and saw a huge pillar of water shoot up from the ocean. The water flung skyward by the explosion’s force came raining down.
“W-wait…?!”
“Just a little demonstration. That’s what happens when you use the crystal bombs we showed you earlier… And we’ve got them placed all over town.”
“Huh?! Hang on, you’re kidding, right?”
“Bombs that powerful are all over town?!”
“Whoaaa… Wh-wh-wh-what do we do?! Mama!”
“I—I don’t know… I suppose w-we’ll have to go find them all and soothe them…”
“No, no, Ms. Mamako. There are twenty of them! Evem with your weird power, you’ll never make it in time. After all, I’ve got the trigger right here! Heh-heh.”
He rolled the crystal trigger around on his hand, threatening to press it at any moment. Thoroughly savoring his advantage.
“So that’s the deal. You get it now? We don’t care either way, but if you don’t wanna see the town get blown to bits, you’d better mind your manners. Got it? Do ya?”
“Tch… All right.”
These guys had control. Hasty resistance would be foolish. He had no choice. Masato sheathed his sword, demonstrating his lack of resistance.
The others also made it clear they weren’t about to fight. They all moved behind Masato, using him as a shield. “Ugh, now you guys rely on me…” But he was secretly rather pleased.
“…So what’s your goal here?”
“Simple. We got orders from the top to go hog-wild here. We can do whatever we want! And believe me, we will… Heh-heh-heh. Let’s start by having your little maids take orders from their new masters.”
That was definitely a skeevy smile on Pocchi’s face. And his request was…!
In the dining hall.
“First, we eat! Doesn’t matter what, just bring us some grub! And be quick about it!”
Nobody cared about the state of the place. “Faster!” “Chop-chop!” They just sat down anywhere, yelling for food.
The kitchen was bustling.
“Damn them! What’s with those guys? What kind of villain demands food?”
“Masato! I know how you feel, but if you’ve got time to grumble, get those hands moving! Chop those ingredients up! Then break and scramble those eggs!”
“They’ve got bombs all over town! We have to do what they say!”
“Will it be good? It’ll be good! A good item…done! Wise, here you go! The frying pan’s all ready!”
“Thanks, Porta! That’s a huge help!”
Masato’s party was cooking—all of them, with not nearly enough equipment, making whatever they could as quickly as they could.
But they were missing one member.
“Geez, where’d Mom go? This is her specialty!”
“She said she had to get something ready! I think she’s preparing something for the meal, but…!”
Wise got her dish done first.
“Okay, all done! Schoolgirl eggs!”
It was just eggs, scrambled and fried. They were only slightly burnt, but that was part of the charm.
She stuck them on a plate and ran over to Pocchi with them.
“Right, here you are! It would be a disgrace to let thugs like you have Mamako’s cooking! Eat this and scram!”
“Mm? Eggs? Eh. Whatever, I’ll eat it.”
Pocchi took a bite. How was it?
“Mm… Super whatever. Neither good nor bad. Totally average.”
“A-average is just fine by me! Quit gripin’ and eat!”
“Huh? Get real, lady. We ain’t eatin’ anything that ain’t at least good. Next!”
“Grrr!”
Wise couldn’t make anything except eggs that were neither good nor bad, so she retreated. Shame.
Medhi’s dish was finished next.
“Whew, all done. This should make short work of them.”
She certainly seemed confident. There was a satisfied smile on her lips.
Her plate had something green and purple with gooey bits of dark brown—“Whoa, don’t you dare even try to serve that!”—which was rejected before she even brought it to him.
“B-but…it’s a shame to waste food…”
Medhi was crestfallen. A shadow crossed her face, and she turned to the wall, thumping her foot against it. “Wah, Medhi?!” “Stop, the building’s damaged enough!” They forced her to rein in the dark power.
But Medhi was still very disappointed.
“…I put so much work into it, and they wouldn’t even try it…”
“It was a good plan, Medhi. Shame it didn’t work.”
“Yeah. Evil Medhi strikes again! Your scheme to polish them all off by making them eat that nightmare dish was this close to succeeding!”
“Huh? Scheme? No, I wasn’t…! I just tried to cook the best thing I could and hoped they’d enjoy it!”
““Uh…””
Apparently, that Mysterious Object X had been Medhi’s best effort. “…Wise.” “Mm, got it.” Masato and Wise formed a silent pact to never let Medhi cook again.
That was all the time they could spare on consolation.
“Where’s the next dish? Keep ’em coming! Do you wanna see the town explode or what?” Pocchi roared.
“Damn! We’ve gotta make something else!” Wise’s was too normal, Medhi’s unacceptable. That left Masato to make some man-cooking from what he half remembered his mom doing.
But then, the star of the show appeared.
“Sorry it took me so long! I’ll get right down to cooking!”
“Geez, finally! Hurry up and… Uh… Huh?”
Mamako came running into the kitchen, and Masato’s eyes widened in horror.
Just like the teenage girls, she was wearing a frilly maid dress. Her bust was just too large for it, and she’d been forced to leave the top largely unbuttoned, and the skirt was much too short so that every time she bent over, her excessively skimpy panties were easily seen.
A moment after he laid eyes on his mom the maid, Masato heard the sound of every last cell in his brain detonating. Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, and then bzzzt.
“Are you trying to kill meeeeeeee?!”
“Huh?! N-no, I would never! Ma-kun, calm down!”
“How can I be calm?! Why are you dressed like a maid?!”
“Why? …B-because Mr. Pacchi—”
“Pacchi? My name’s Pocchi! Get it right!”
“Oh, sorry… Mr. Pecchi here said he wanted the maids to serve him, so Mommy just thought she was supposed to get changed, too—”
“You don’t need to do whatever Pucchi says! Geez!”
“No, listen, my name’s Picchi. Wait, I mean, Pocchi. Geez… And by the way, Ms. Mamako…” Pocchi looked Mamako over from head to toe, sneering. “Well, you’re young and beautiful, so it don’t look bad on you or nothin’. But a mom in maid clothes? Pfft. Are all moms this dumb?”
Pocchi was part of the Libere Rebellion. They opposed the very concept of parents, so naturally he didn’t have much respect for Mamako.
“Hey, knock it off.”
But Masato was not about to let it go unchallenged.
Pocchi hadn’t said anything wrong. Even her son thought Mamako’s outfit was ridiculous.
But that didn’t mean he was about to let a total stranger say so.
Masato and Pocchi glared fiercely at each other.
“Now, now, Masato. I don’t like that look in your eyes. You forgetting I got the trigger right here?”
“No, I remember. You’ll have to excuse me.”
“I’m glad we understand each other… Now get your dumb-looking mom to make us some grub—although I’m sure she can’t make anything but dumb food, heh-heh.”
“Grrr…”
He reeeeeally wanted to punch Pocchi. Or grab a fistful of his Mohawk and yank it out.
But if he could silence the thug’s tongue with cooking? That would be even better.
“Mom! I’m gonna let the fact that you’re wearing the maid outfit slide! So, please!”
“Okay, got it! I’ll do the best cooking I can!”
Mamako took over the run-down kitchen.
“Ma-kun! What ingredients do we have?”
“Leftovers from breakfast, eggs, and some random vegetables! They’re all chopped up!”
“In that case… Porta! Can I get a wok?”
“Okay! …Will it be good? It’ll be good! A good item…done!”
“Wise, can you use your magic to start the fire? I need a nice strong flame!”
“Got it! …Spara la magia per mirare… Fuoco Fiamma!”
“Medhi, can you get the plates ready?”
“Sure! I can help cook as well, but for now I’ll focus on getting the plates out!”
Mamako even knew exactly how to handle Medhi. This was her domain.
It was done in a jiff!
“Hee-hee, all ready! Mommy’s special fried rice!”
One of the quickest dishes around. Mamako heaped the fried rice onto the plate and rushed it over to Pocchi.
“Here you go! It’s hot, so be careful.”
“Oh, come on! Fried rice? That’s some lazy cooking right there. You just throw the thing in a pan and it’s done! I swear, moms are—”
“Now, now, don’t say that. Why don’t you try it? I think you’ll like it!”
“Like it? …W-well, it does smell pretty good… The rice isn’t sticking together at all, and it looks perfectly cooked… Gulp… R-right, guess I’ll just have a taste.”
Pocchi picked up the oversized spoon and shoved a heaping pile of rice into his mouth.
He was astonished.
“Th-this… This isn’t just any fried rice… Th-there’s ham in it!”
“That’s right! I like it best with fried pork, but sadly I didn’t have any, so I had to use ham instead. How is it?”
“Ham fried rice… Y’know, my own mom used to make that a lot… Pork is expensive, so ham’s good enough, she always said… What am I even saying…?”
Misting up a little, Pocchi kept eating. “Hey! Only Pocchi gets some?! No fair!” “I’m hungry, too!” “Coming right up!” The other ruffians got their portions one after the other, and the result:
““““…Dang… This reminds me of my mom’s fried rice…””””
All the thugs were staring off into the distance, remembering their old homes.
Mamako’s ham fried rice proved super effective.
“All the fuss they were making, and now they’re just eating Mom’s fried rice in silence… Mom strikes again. That’s what her food does.”
“You want food, you go to Mamako. It’s not that I suck at it!”
“Very true… I’ll have to have her teach me and make some for everyone…”
““Please don’t!”” Grin.
A new threat was in the offering, but at least they’d managed to meet Pocchi’s demands. Masato’s party was relieved…
…but just then…
“Yo, yo, don’t think this is over yet, kids. That’s just the prelim! Our rampage is only getting started! Now that our bellies are full, next… Heh-heh-heh… What do you think?”
“Ack… What now?”
Masato looked cautious, and Pocchi grinned, oblivious to the piece of ham stuck to the side of his face…
In the baths.
“Now it’s bath time! Get this bath full!”
With not a care for the horrifying state of the baths, Pocchi and his roustabouts had discarded their equipment and clothing, totally ready for a soak—and were demanding the bath be filled.
Masato’s party was at a loss.
“The bath itself is so broken it won’t even hold water…”
“And even if it did, we can’t get cold water to come out of the taps… We can’t exactly escort this crowd to the inn we bathed at yesterday…”
“If we had the repair materials, I could do something about it, but…without those, I can’t help…”
“Right… And once again, Mom is nowhere to be found…”
Wherever she’d gone, Masato, Medhi, and Porta had no idea what to do.
“Ha-ha! Then this is my time to shine!” Wise declared with utter confidence. She seemed to have a plan…
Oh, right. Wise can use magic.
“Leave this to me! First… Spara la magia per mirare… Pietra Muro! And! Pietra Muro!”
Wise chain cast. Two wide stone walls appeared opposite each other.
“Here comes another! …Spara la magia per mirare… Pietra Muro! And! Pietra Muro!”
Two more walls appeared. They lined up with the first two, forming a square.
And she wasn’t done casting.
“And for the finish! …Spara la magia per mirare… Alto Acqua Sfera! And! Bomba Fiamma!”
A surge of water and a powerful fire appeared inside the stone walls, and a ton of steam rose off the top.
Ta-da! The magic bath was complete.
“Mwa-ha-ha. Well? Whaddaya think? …Pocchi, was it? Hop on in there already.”
“Normally, I’d teach you a lesson on manners here…but right now, I’m really jonesin’ for a bath.”
Pocchi stepped up on the wall and was about to dive in…
…when a moment later, the walls and water vanished into thin air.
“Ow! Hey! Where’d it go? What’s the meaning of this?!”
“I—I don’t know! …What happened?!” Wise seemed every bit as surprised as Pocchi.
But honestly, Masato’s group had seen this coming.
“Hmm… Well, it was magic.”
“Wise was using attack spells. The effects of those never last for long, so of course it vanished.”
“Um… I think we actually talked about this yesterday and decided not to make a bath with magic for that exact reason!”
“What?! We did?!”
They had indeed. Masato considered presenting Wise with an award for most useless Sage, but…
…now was not the time. Pocchi was absolutely livid.
“Yo, yo, yo! That was a dirty trick! Get this bath ready now! We’ve been holed up in that tower for ages with no baths! We’re dyin’ for a soak! Do you want us blowin’ up the entire town?! Do ya?!”
Pocchi flashed the trigger crystal for the crystal bombs. The other riffraff took the hint and started kicking the walls of the bathroom, making threats. “H-hold on a minute—we’ll do something!” Masato yelled, but he had no idea what that something might be.
Just then:
“Sorry it took so long!”
Mamako came running in. She still had that maid outfit equipped. Maid Mom.
“The dishes just took ages to get clean… It really is so inconvenient not having running water in the kitchen…”
“I can see how that would be tough… But, uh, Mom… Now they want a bath…”
“Oh my. We need to get a bath ready? Then… Oh, I know!”
Mamako drew Terra di Madre, the Holy Sword of Earth. “Wh-what, you want some?!” Pocchi’s group scrambled for their gear, but Mamako had not drawn her weapon for battle.
Mamako lowered the tip of the sword and whispered, “O Mother Earth… If you’re a mother, too, then you know how I feel… The bath isn’t ready… We have to do something… If you understand how I feel, please, lend me your power!”
With that, she swung the sword upward.
The earth responded to Mamako’s request. In an instant, the remains of the bath were pulled underground, replaced by a large bath made of natural stone.
A moment later, milky white liquid began burbling up into it—a hot spring.
A hot spring of that color? That smell? Masato had experienced this before.
“Wait… This is the stuff from Maman Village!”
“Oh, it is! Maman’s Warm Milk, was it?”
“Uh, you don’t have to say the name out loud… B-but the point is!”
Pocchi’s group would finally be sated. Masato turned to look.
“Wh-what the…? I dunno what just happened. You’re just using store-bought minerals to trick us… But, eh, we might as well get in.”
The abrupt appearance of the hot spring seemed to have confused them, but Pocchi cautiously stepped in anyway. He slowly lowered himself in until his shoulders were covered.
He let out a long breath, and an expression of bliss spread across his face.
“Ooh… That’s the stuff… And this really is a hot spring… Y’know, my mom always wanted to go to a hot spring, but we never had the money, and she was always busy at work…so all she could ever do was buy packs of the hot spring minerals and pretend she’d really gone.”
He’d grown rather wistful. “Hey! No fair only Pocchi gets to bathe!” “We’re coming in, too!” Pocchi’s goons began jumping in one after another.
““““…Ahh… Yeah, my mom used to buy hot spring minerals, too… Scattered some in the water and it just absorbed the moisture and got all balled up…””””
They each started remembering their homes and getting wistful as well.
Mamako’s hot spring was super effective. On Mamako, too.
“That’s so true… You think it’ll dissolve eventually, but it never really does… I’ve made the same mistake.” Ho-hum.
“Nobody cares, Mom. We don’t need you getting wistful over hot spring minerals, too! …But once again, you’ve totally saved the day. Now…”
At last we’re safe, Masato thought.
But Pocchi just glared at him.
“Yo, yo, you think this is over yet? The next bit is the main course! We’ve eaten, and we’ve taken a bath. What happens after that? Whaddaya think we’ll ask for next?”
“Huh? …Dinner, a bath, and then… N-no!”
“Heh-heh-heh. Looks like you got it… C’mon, boys! To the bedrooms!”
““““Awww, yeah! I’ve been waitin’ for this!””””
The time had finally come. The rabble all stood up, their expressions those of slobbering beasts. They went stampeding out of the bath.
Dinner. Bath. Only one thing followed those…
Pocchi was walking down the hall to the bedrooms, a bath towel wrapped around his waist and a skeevy smile on his lips.
“Now then, let’s have that young pretty mom of yours give us lots of service…in bed! Heh-heh-heh! I can’t wait.”
“Hey! Wait! I said wait!”
“Hold it right there! Seriously, don’t make Mamako do anything weird!”
“We’ll have to stop you by force! It’s the only way!”
“Yes! I’ve got a special item saved just for this!”
“Whoa, better not try anything. Did you forget we’ve got bombs hidden all over town? I left that trigger switch with one of my men. Anything happens to me, kaboom! Heh-heh-heh.”
“Grr…!”
They were desperate to stop Pocchi but couldn’t. They were helpless.
And they were already at the bedroom door.
“Now, lets see if she’s ready… Wow, this room’s a mess, but not bad, not bad.”
Pocchi pushed Masato out of the way and stepped inside. The bed was nicely made.
And there was Mamako, smiling, a little unsure of herself.
“Mom… Why didn’t you just run for it…? I told you to run for it!”
“Ma-kun, this is for the best. The lives of the villagers depend on it! I can’t just run away.”
“That sure sounds noble and everything, but…”
“Hee-hee, you’re all worried about me, Ma-kun. I knew you loved me!”
“No, that’s not the point!”
“I-it isn’t? …Now Mommy’s sad.” Sniffle.
“Don’t get depressed! Love’s got nothing to do with it, anyone would be worried!”
“Yeah, that’s enough of that. If we listen to all the protests of a son who’s ashamed of his feelings, we’d be here all night. I can’t wait any longer! Let’s get this started!”
Pocchi pushed past Masato again. The time had finally come.
Pocchi flopped down on his back on the bed and gave Mamako a saucy wave.
“All right, Ms. Mamako. Time for a li’l service. Make it good. Heh-heh-heh.”
“Very well.”
“No! Wait—!”
“You shut your trap! If you’re a real man, you’ll grit your teeth and watch your mom debase herself!”
“Argh… Dammit… You can’t…!”
Ignoring the look of anguish on Masato’s face, Mamako slowly walked past him. He raised a hand listlessly but couldn’t bring himself to stop her.
Mamako knelt down by the side of the bed.
“’Ey, Ms. Mamako, I don’t need to tell you what to do, do I?”
“No, I know… All right, then…”
Mamako reached out her hand…
…picked up the blanket, and laid it out on top of Pocchi.
“Pocchi, time for beddy-bye,” she whispered sweetly. “Night-night, Pocchi. Sleep tight.”
She patted the blankets, tucking him in for bedtime.
Um.
““Hey?! What are you doing?!”” Masato and Pocchi both yelled. “Let me say it!” “Uh, okay, go ahead.” It did seem better for the man on the receiving end to air his grievances.
“Yo, yo, yo, Ms. Mamako, what are you doin’?”
“What else? A little mom service…in bed! Night-night, Pocchi!” Pat, pat.
“I’m not here for night-night! That’s not what I meant by ‘service’ at all! I was going for somethin’ a li’l more mature—!”
“Nighty-night, sleep tight.” Pat, pat.
“I told you, that’s not what I meant! …B-but…y’know, when I was a kid…and I couldn’t sleep…my mom used to do this… Really takes me back… G’night…”
Pocchi fell asleep. The rough-looking, Mohawk-sporting roustabout was sleeping like a baby.
Then…
“Yo, yo, what’re you doing, Pocchi?!”
“You let Ms. Mamako pat your blanket and put you to sleep? That’s just pathetic!”
“But we won’t be that easy! We’ll get some adult service out of her yet!”
“You’re tellin’ me! Mwa-ha-ha-ha!”
The rest of the hooligans came filing in…
…only to end up in bed with blankets spread across them and lovingly patted.
““““…Zzzzz… Mommy… Zzz…””””
“Hee-hee. They’re all sleeping like babies.”
They’d all fallen right asleep.
The party found a map of the crystal bombs in town on one of the sleeping roustabouts and took that and the trigger with them to recover all the bombs safely.
Evening came.
Having slept soundly, Pocchi and his goons were lined up in front of the entrance, bowing to Mamako.
“Um… So, uh… Sorry for causing all that fuss.”
“No, no, it was my pleasure… So what will you all do now? Are you going back to that tower?”
“Uh… No, I’m thinkin’ I’ll swing by home first. Not ’cause I miss my mom or nothin’… But it can’t hurt to show my face. I basically ran away from home, so…she might be worried, y’know?”
“That’s true. I think it’s best you go home and show your mother how well you’re doing.”
“Uh, yeah. I will… And again, sorry for all the trouble.”
“No, not at all.”
Bowing their heads several times like reformed delinquents, Pocchi’s group took their leave. Mamako saw them off with a big smile on her face.
Masato’s party was left frowning after them, at a loss as to what else they should be doing.
But it did seem like Mamako had entirely solved that problem.
That night.
“Whew…”
The hectic day had left Masato exhausted, and he was soaking his weary body in the hot spring. This was definitely the way to end a day. The water was perfect. His body and soul were practically melting into it.
He found himself wanting to sing a little ditty like, “Lovely water, ah-ha-haaa!” but he managed to stop himself. Self-restraint.
There were others in the bath with him, after all. It would be impolite to disturb them.
“Ahhh… Big baths are so great… I lived in a tiny apartment in the real world, and the tub was suuuper cramped. I could never really stretch out in them, so this is real luxury…”
“You must have lived in a real dump, Wise. I lived in an upscale condo, and the baths were really quite large. Not this large, of course, but still…”
“Hey, Medhi, don’t just call it a dump! I swear, you’re getting more twisted by the day… I mean, you aren’t wrong…”
“Ohhh… It’s so big that I want to start swimming… It’s so hard to stop myself…”
The girls seemed to be quite relaxed on the other side of that cloud of steam.
Wise scooped up a handful of water and splashed it on the back of her neck. It ran down her flushed skin, over her collarbone, and down her chest without encountering notable obstruction.
Medhi did the same move, but the effect couldn’t be more different. The water running down her skin pooled in the valley between her obstructions, like a squad of water droplets rendezvousing in the designated valley location.
Porta, sandwiched between them, kept standing up and fanning herself with her hands, presumably trying to avoid overheating. “Whoa!” She hastily steadied the shoulder bag she had balanced on her head.
Yep. They were super relaxed.
Despite the fact that Masato was in here.
“…Um… Are you sure you’re all okay with this? I mean, I hate to spoil a relaxing bath, but—”
“Mm? Whatever. I’m waaaay past caring about mixed bathing. I got used to it. Just don’t look this way! Looking’s off-limits.”
“Baths are just something we all use together now!”
“Hee-hee. Yes, it’s better if we’re all together.”
“O-oh, really? …But this is Medhi’s first time joining us, so…”
“I…am certainly somewhat embarrassed… But if I can’t do what the others do, I’d feel left out. Hopefully I’ll gradually get used to it and, in time, be the first to invite you to join us. So please, don’t mind me.”
“That whole ‘always be number one’ upbringing sure manifests itself in some surprising ways… But if you’re all good with it, cool.”
With Medhi’s consent, Masato’s secret title, Mixed Bath Creep Level 2, advanced to Mixed Bath Creep Level 3! How far can this title go?!
The girls were okay with it. Now all Masato had to do was keep a certain part of himself from getting too worked up. That was easier said than done…
“You know, Masato, it’s not like we’re your main concern, is it? I mean…look next to you.”
“Uh, yeah…”
Masato risked a glance to his side, where Wise was pointing.
Mamako was sitting there, lost in thought. Two breast-shaped islands floated on the surface of the water—but her expression made it clear that her mind had sunk straight to the bottom.
He wasn’t all that concerned about her, but it did seem like he should say something.
“Uh, Mom, what’s on your mind? You’re the one who called for our customary naked strategy session. If you need our help with something, go ahead and ask.”
“Huh? Oh… Right… It’s about Pocchi and his gang. There was one thing I was a little worried about…”
“Oh?”
“I wonder if they made it home safe.”
“…Huh?”
That was what Mamako was so worried about? What a mom thing to do. Any mother would be worried, naturally.
Was it really worth worrying over? Annoyed, Masato was about to say so when…
“Pocchi and his group packed up their bags and went right home! A major blow to our numbers, and I’m quite vexed!”
…Amante’s angry voice echoed through the bathroom.
As it did, the door to the baths slammed open, and Amante came striding in.
She had a bath towel wrapped around a body that clearly had more up top than Wise’s but wasn’t quite in Medhi’s league. In one hand was a basket with a sponge and some shampoo. It was pretty obvious that she came for a bath. You could never tell by looking at her that this was a surprise appearance by the enemy boss!
Then Amante abruptly turned back to the changing room and hid behind the door, only her very red face peering around it.
“Yo. First you show up out of nowhere, then you suddenly hide… What gives?”
“What gives?! Isn’t it obvious?! I’m only wearing a bath towel! I can’t possibly stand in front of a boy dressed like that!”
“Huh? …O-oh, right. Wow! A normal reaction!” He was impressed.
“I didn’t intend for that to be surprising! A-and what are you all doing? You’re all in the same bath?! I never…!”
Amante’s reaction was entirely justified, but Wise and Medhi were having none of it.
“Yeah, yeah, I get your point, so don’t even bother.”
“More importantly, I’d like you to explain why you’re here in the first place! Although I imagine you’ll tell us without prompting in a moment.”
“Ha! You underestimate me again! I’ll never admit that I’ve actually been hiding and watching what was going on the whole time!”
“And you waited for your moment to attack…or whatever this is instead?”
“You’re right. She is wearing a bath towel… Are you really just here to use our bath?”
“Even if that were the case, there’s no reason why I should just admit it! Why should I have to reveal that since I’ve been living in a tower with no bath I’ve had to wash myself in the ocean and am dying for a proper soak?!”
“Whoa, you washed yourself with salt water? That’s so bad for your skin! …Come to think of it, the moment she entered, I did smell something salty…”
“Yes, she totally reeks of the sea… And look, there’s definitely a nasty bruise on her shin! The toll on her complexion, the odor, those bruises… How far will you go in this assault on your femininity?”
“…Sniff… Y-you’re all girls, too… You could stand to be a little less blunt… That’s hitting way too close to home…”
It seemed the girls’ merciless criticisms had dealt a serious blow to Amante’s feelings. They might very well drive her away without really doing anything…
…But then Mamako spoke up.
“Amante, dear, do you mind?”
“Sniff… What else is there to say? …Wait! Gasp! Mamako Oosuki?!”
Amante hastily dried her eyes and glared at Mamako. She really was super wary around her.
“How dare you, Mamako Oosuki! To not only defeat the assassins but convince them to go back home?! I can’t believe it! You’re the most dangerous mother of all!”
“Goodness, I’m not dangerous—”
“You are! You’re the greatest threat to the actualization of our ideals there is! I’ll let you off today, but you won’t get off so easy next time! Prepare yourself!”
With that last line, Amante left the changing room… Oh, never mind, she’s back.
“You can turn the lights out, but leave the water! Not like I’m gonna sneak in and use it later! I’m definitely not gonna do that, but just be sure you don’t drain the bath! That’s all!”
And with that urgent plea, Amante ran away.
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