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Big Dipper Abalone

“Here comes the soup!” Old Wang and Old Li both shouted. Old Wang poured in a white-colored soup while Old Li poured in a black one, forming a yin and yang trigram.

“Alright! Get the fire burning! We don’t have much time left. Lil’White, let’s see how fast your hand is! You’ll be responsible for making all kinds of meatballs!” Old Wang threw him two short sticks after giving the order. Ye Cang smiled and received the sticks. Instantly, the meat patties were flying all over the place. Meanwhile, Panty Uncle was making all kinds of mixed meatballs as he walked casually.

“Hmm…meatballs…where should we put them? Putting them directly on the plates is troublesome since the fish slices were placed in the shape of a rosette. It’s not good-looking if we throw them all into the pot. What to do?” Old Li was figuring out.

“It’s easy. Just stuff them into her @$$hole, a.k.a. ccnv-14j62. Brother Lil’White and Brother LilXiong, show it to me.” Lin Le blurted the words out of a sudden.

“……” Everyone was speechless, especially Lin Liang. Indeed, he is the descendant of that fella. The pure blood of his ancestors.

“Good idea, Lele. Not bad.” Ye Cang leaped forwards, pierced his fingers into the hole, and emptied it by vibrating his fingers with ease. Then, he forced those meatballs into it. The four other chefs were standing aside, feeling weird. Even though he has perfectly solved the problem, but still…

“Damn! Indeed, he is one of the three heroes! He actually fingers the figure’s @%%hole in public. It looks pain though.”

“Flasher Uncle likes elephant assault; Panty Uncle likes stealing innerwear and the God of Dancing likes…Aww, I’m so shy that I’m already wet inside…wanting to be fingered by him… *Cough* *Cough* My thoughts…”

“Are all the people from the East District this weird?”

“……”


“Stop filling it! Stop! You’re making it pregnant!” Marilyn quickly stopped Ye Cang as he was getting excited from filling it. She was sad when she saw the beautiful figure was getting pregnant. It’s a pity that she is being polluted by the meatballs…

“Don’t just stand there! The soup is about to boil! And we’re not done with the side dishes! The taste will be different if we are late in putting in the food! Quick! Chilling Bamboo Shoot! Jealousy Mushroom! Nine Intestines of Sky Bird! Gigantic Rat’s Kidney! Sky Alignment Geoduck! Spiritual Squint! Boned Sea Urchins! Prepare and serve the ingredients! Quick!” As Old Wang shouted, the five of them immediately segregated the work. With Old Wang’s guidance, Ye Cang knew that handling the geoduck requires a special procedure. One had to wank the geoduck fast until it splits some fluid out. The fluid was then to be mixed with the kidney slices of the gigantic rat so that it could remove the disgusting taste of underground pipes, turning them into a top-class ingredient for steamboat! Besides, the faster the speed, the greater the taste of the fluid.

Those in the field of culinary were observing their meticulous techniques while those who are not were just joining the crowd for the sake of having fun. Most of them were amazed.

“The way to handle the Chilling Bamboo Shoot is troublesome. First, the slices have to be thin and cannot be broken! The slices must be cut until 1mm is left in one go. Or else, the Chilling Bamboo Shoot wouldn’t stay alive. That 1mm connecting the body is the very reason why it is still an ingredient as a whole. Within 10 minutes, it has to be placed into the pot, allowing it to bloom into a flower-shape. The sweetness and freshness are totally… This dish doesn’t only test the chef’s cutting skills because the bamboo shoot itself is as hard as steel and it’s not easy for one to cut. So, the knife has to be pre-heated before it is used. But of course, you can also use a laser to cut it but it would downgrade the dish. Old Li’s handling skills are top-notch. No one can be more precise than him…”

“Look at how Old Wang prepares the Jealousy Mushroom. The mushroom cannot make contact with any iron, wooden or even porcelain equipment. It must be cut with nine iced knives. Though non-durable, they are the best to cut them into 36 slices. It doesn’t only test the person’s skills but their luck too. As soon as any one of the knives is broken, it is flawed. The jealousy of the mushroom would be strongly reduced and those who eat it would not feel the warmth. Rumors have said that the mushroom is filled with jealousy, mushrooms that grow around it would be roasted and burned by that…”

“Marilyn and Panty Uncle are top chefs too! Handling the Spiritual Squint and the Boned Sea Urchin is also as hard as handling the other two dishes. The two of them took away the poisonous parts swiftly and yet kept the most poisonous part – the eye of the Spiritual Squint and the juice of Bone Sea Urchin. An ordinary chef wouldn’t have kept it because even a single dip of it would kill a table of people. Look at those two! Baked Bone Sea Urchin! Grilled Spiritual Squint’s Eye! I could even smell the aroma from here. It was as if they are telling me about the mysterious and gentle sea.”

“Look! The geoduck can shoot out the fluid in seconds! The General’s handling skills are too incredible! That bowl of fluid is so precious that no one would trade a gram of it for a gram of gold! Damn! The kidney of the gigantic rat and geoduck are going to be super fresh!”

“Let me increase the difficulty for you guys! I asked people to buy this and it’s still alive! Let’s see how you guys are going to deal with it!” Flasher Uncle then threw them an abalone with the Big Dipper Pattern on it. Old Wang, Old Li, Marilyn, and Panty Uncle frowned at once. This thing is not easy to handle! Not that it’s so hard that we need a day to deal with it but it’s because we need to finish the job within minutes before the soup gets boiled. The amount of work cannot be done by a single person! It’s too much! Old Wang was frustrated and said. “You son of a b*tch, you do know how to cause us trouble, don’t you! White-haired, you’ll be responsible for pulling off the abalone’s tentacles! By just using your hands! You’ve two seconds for that! Don’t leave any tentacles! Old Li, you’ll cut it! Flower dragon cutting! Old Panty, you’ll be responsible for removing the juice! Sister Marilyn, coating it with oil to secure its freshness is your specialty! You’ll be responsible for the Big Dipper oil! Get it done and finish the cutting at the same time! And lastly, I’ll be responsible for the Three Extreme Fillings! No problem, am I right? Don’t get the order wrong!”

“Just make sure that you don’t screw your last part, then it’s alright.” Old Li was annoyed.

“It’s so easy.” Marilyn brushed her hands.

“Sounds fun.” Panty Uncle held a porcelain bowl in his left hand and a jade ladle.

Without saying a word, Ye Cang nodded. I did learn a lot today. It’s the first time we’re handling such a rare ingredient. Big Dipper Abalone. I’ve only heard that not everyone is able to afford it. Even if one is, there aren’t many who can actually cook it. If they fail, one is basically eating sh*t.

The five of them surrounded the Big Dipper Abalone which was still moving and Old Wang shouted. “Lil’White! Go!”

As Ye Cang swung his hands, all the tentacles were pulled off and thrown into the plate. Old Wang, Old Li, and the others were happy. Pulling the tentacles must be fast! Because the most difficult part of this task is the irregular and messy tentacles. If we don’t have the time limit, we could take it slowly and easily but handling this thing is really complicated.”

“Old Li! Sister Marilyn! Panty Uncle!” Old Wang was sweating from preparing the honey python, the bile of iced bird, and the ghostly eel. Meanwhile, Ye Cang was cleaning his hands and watching the impressive cooking skills of the team of four. As soon as Old Li started to cut the abalone, Marilyn started to coat the golden olive oil on the abalone, catching up with the cutting speed. On the other side, Panty Uncle was scooping the liquid falling off from the abalone and put them into the bowl. The whole process was complicated and it could be the most troublesome challenge in their lives.



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