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Interlude 3

Prom was over, finals were over, and in the next two days, today and tomorrow, we would get our exam results. Then, we’d get a holiday followed by the year-end ceremony. After that, a super, long vacation awaited.

With Meguri-senpai’s graduation, the student council room was now my my castle in name and in reality. I played with my smartphone wondering what to do over spring break and helped the vice president and secretary-chan with wrapping up our work.

What’s left was to gather all the documents for Yukino-senpai to process, work the vice president to death, and have secretary-chan revive him. There’s a lot more to do, but it was fulfilling to say the least. That’s how my first year should’ve ended.

“I’m coming in.”

Until Hiratsuka-sensei decided to enter the student council room… She really never knocks, does she? Well, that’s just how she is, so whatever.

“Is there something wrong?”

I could only hope she wasn’t bringing in anything annoying. I stood up to meet her. She then pushed her smartphone in my face.

“Do you know about this?”

Let’s see… I took a good look at her phone. The screen was displaying something about a prom. I read through the page, casually making impressed remarks, and I encountered some incredibly, ridiculous, and nonsensical information. In particular, there was something I just couldn’t avoid focusing on which was, “Sobu High School and Kahin-Sogo High School Joint Prefectural Prom, Open in Spring!”

“Huh…?”

My mouth was agape. What is this?

I pointed at Hiratsuka-sensei’s phone with my shaking fingers. By the way, my voice was also shaking, and so were my glossy lips.

“U-Um, what is this? I didn’t hear anything about this…”

“I see, you don’t know anything, huh? This must be Hikigaya’s work, then.”

Hiratsuka-sensei undid her folded arms with a look of excitement. Why was she happy…? I was a little bit disturbed, but then she tried to boldly make her exit while humming.

“I’ll go ask him directly. Sorry for bothering you.”

She waved her hand in a cool way, and I caught it! I managed to hold her back and pulled her hand.

“Wait, wait, wait! What is this!? What’s he trying to do!? Um, isn’t this asking for trouble? This is totally bad, isn’t it!?”

“Oh, right, I guess you don’t know.”

Hiratsuka-sensei acted as if it didn’t matter, but she gave me an explanation. Apparently, the prom we were supposed to have at first got complaints and was stopped. But senpai planned his own prom that was far worse than what we had, which allowed us to hold our prom since it was more proper. Basically, it was a pointless plan that served as a scapegoat or an underdog, or something like that.

“I don’t get it…”

The words slipped out of my mouth, and Hiratsuka-sensei agreed with a grin. Okay, so why was she so happy about it…?

“Um, but that shouldn’t matter anymore, right? I mean, we had the prom already…”

“That’s right, but apparently, this site was updated yesterday and today.”

“Apparently…?”

“Well, I didn’t know about it until the parents association got in touch.”

I gave her a fixated stare, and she scratched her cheek with a troubled expression.

Oh, okay. This was following the same process as last time, which means someone from Yukino-senpai’s family came. I had a gist of the situation. The only thing I didn’t get was senpai.

“But why is he updating it now…?”

“I’m sure he has his reasons,” Hiratsuka-sensei said, acting like an older sister. Yet, she was still happy.

I seriously don’t get it. Was he an idiot, or what? Would anyone go that far? If anything, why didn’t he tell me he would do something like that? Well, okay, the last time he did this, it was for us, which I can totally get, kind of, not really, but kind of. Well, he’s not doing it just for me, though. I don’t get it.

Before I knew it, I pinched my lips out of irritation, and Hiratsuka-sensei patted my shoulder.

“Anyway, I’ll get the circumstances from him in person. I’ll let you know the details afterwards.”

She had such an affectionate smile and happily made her way out of the room, as if she was going on a date, while I was left behind in shock.

There wasn’t any point in standing here doing nothing, though. Regardless of how the joint prom went, the student council would have to take action. I didn’t want to be left out, anyway.

First, I needed information. I quickly googled the blog site from earlier, and after staring at it, I could sense the workings of a woman in the design… And there was only one person who would help senpai with this.

So, I copied the page and pasted it on LINE. I also added a “Hey, do you know about this????” and sent the message. I got a quick response saying, “!??y!?!?” The message was full of characters indicating the confusion of the sender. She also added a stamp with a crying dog and a “I have no idea!” message. Looks like she didn’t hear anything about this.

I followed up with a “Btw, do you know who made this website???” and this time I got a proper response. “Chuuni. Also, the two first-year gamer guys! They look good with computers! They all have glasses!” She then sent a barrage of glass emoticons. I see. Don’t get it. What was so proper about these messages again?

But the circle of friends that senpai had was so stupidly small, just the hint of glasses should be enough to narrow down the suspects. Since Hiratsuka-sensei was already going to interrogate the main culprit, I was going to go squeeze some information out of his accomplices.

I spun my seat around, and I called out to the vice president bawling his eyes out as he finished our remaining business at the corner of the room. “Hey, vice president, do you know who this chuuni person is? He wears glasses. He’s also hanging out with two first-year boys who seem to be good at games and computers.”

The vice president stopped and began thinking. That’s fine and all, but keep working, okay?

“Chuuni… Oh, it must be that guy. The weird one…”

His wonderfully expressed words were vague, though he seemed to have an idea who they were.

“Can you bring that person here? And also the two first-years.”

“Huh…? I can do that, but I don’t know who those other two are….”

Um? Searching for them was your job as the vice president, you know…? Of course, I couldn’t say that, so I gave him a troubled smiled instead. Then, secretary-chan sitting next to him raised her hand.

“Um…”

“Yes, secretary-chan?” I pointed at her.

She said in a low voice. “I think the two first-years are Hatano-kun and Sagami-kun from the UG Club.”

“UG? Hatano? Sagami?” I inclined my head, having no idea of those names.

She made a bitter smile. “Iroha-chan, they’re in your class…”

“Ahh…”

Bleh. Her stare changed from a dreadful one to one of those not-so-great ones. And here I thought we were getting along recently! After all, I had very few female friends, so she was very important! So, I decided to clear my throat, and clap my hands.

“Oh, right, right. Okay, VP, can you please bring Hatagaya-kun and Sagano-kun along, too!?”


I stuck out my tongue, winked with a side peace, and gave the order to the vice president. He was unexpectedly eager when he stood up, perhaps happy to be freed from his work.

“All right, I’ll go find them.”

“I’ll go with you, Makito-kun. You don’t know what they look like, right?”

“Thanks, that’d be great.”

They left the room together. Wow, secretary-chan, casual much? Did you just call the vice president by his first name? You dating? You kidding me? Do your damn work, okay?

Interlude 3-2

After some time, the vice president and the secretary were able to escort the accomplices back to the student council room. It was a group of three wearing glasses, just like in the information I was given.

The three were forced to sit at the long table. The vice president and the secretary stood at their flanks to block any attempts at escape. The student council room was set up as a courtroom, and the court (judge: me, prosecutor: me, attorney: me, sentence: capital punishment) was now in session.

“Can you explain what this is to me?”

I pointed at the screen of the evidence, the smartphone, and warmly asked. However, the three were shrinking into their seats from fear while exchanging glances between each other.

Zero signs of having any semblance of a conversation… Calm down, me. I was always dealing with someone as annoying as senpai all the time, so I should be able to deal with other people. Go, me. I’m amazing, me.

I took a deep breath and formed the signature Irohasu smile. I wasn’t angry at all, okay? I asked nicely, “So, why are you guys trying to hold a joint prom without consulting the student council? Why?”

I brightened my smile as a reminder to their situation, and this time, it caused them to jump in their seats. For some reason, even the vice president flinched. The secretary was whispering, “Scary…”, too. Good, good, let’s keep at it. Wait, Scary? Surely you mean cute?

While having those thoughts in mind, the glasses on the far right feebly spoke up.

“I-I would like to exercise my right to stay silent…”

“Rejected!”

This was the student council room, and I was the student council president. In other words, I was the law, and as such, I would not allow you the right to remain silent.

Next, the glasses on the far left raised his hand. “I request the presence of an attorney…”

“Rejected!”

Because I was the attorney here. I was all ears to your case, okay? Only all ears, though.

Breaking from the pressure, the coat-wearing person sitting in the middle, wearing glasses with a large build, raised both of his hands for some reason. He looked familiar, so he was probably Chuuni-san.

“I’ve got a deadline to meet for my manuscript, so…”

He stood up and attempted to flee, but the vice president placed his hand on his shoulder and casually sat him down.

They really needed to explain themselves while people were still smiling… Unintentionally, I started hitting the table.

“Explain. Right. Now!”

“Okay…” Chuuni-san became despondent and reluctantly nodded.

I looked at them asking for the explanation. The glasses on both ends looked at each other and began mumbling.

“Th-This was… because the brass came out of nowhere yesterday and forced us to…”

“E-Exactly! We were asked, so we couldn’t exactly refuse!”

“I-I implore you to get the details from Hachiman! We are merely a third party lending a helping hand!” Chuuni-san stated in a remarkable voice, and the other two nodded in agreement.

“I would love to do that, but he’s already booked right now, you see…” I said, and placed my hand on my brow that began to ache. I looked out the window.

“Why is he going out of his way to do something so annoying…? I don’t get it.” I whispered to myself while sighing and glared at the smartphone on the table. Then, in response to my words, the three began whispering like they were engaging in a secret conversation.

“Totally, that guy makes no sense at all. We even told him it’s impossible.”

“He even said he’ll handle the rest once the information leaks… He’s definitely crazy…”

“I believe he said failure was fine, too. ‘I don’t get it.’”

Chuuni-san started copying my words, as if he thought I wasn’t listening. That apparently was humorous to the other two.

I could hear you, damn it. I clicked my tongue, and glared. The two on the side shut their mouths. On the other hand, Chuuni-san didn’t seem to get the message and muttered with a hearty voice.

“However… in the face of such desperate pleas, it is only human nature to answer.”

His words suddenly pulled at me. He was desperate enough to beg for help with the joint prom, but was still fine with it failing? Which means, his goal wasn’t to make it a success. But he needed some kind of process that would let him hold the prom. That’s why, it would work in his favor if information about it leaked?

Grrrr…. Wait, wait, I think I was starting to get it now. While I was moaning in thought, the three idiots became rowdy and started whispering.

“True… He was pretty persistent, too. I mean, he was kneeling on the ground. First time I’ve ever seen someone prostrate.”

“Well, it’s not like we could refuse, you know? Since he was going so far, you know? Sort of like how a promise between men didn’t need any words?”

“Indeed. However, prostrating is merely another pose for Hachiman. I suspect he only thinks of it as nothing more than yoga.”

“What? That’s just terrible.”

“I knew he had no morals…”

Ahh, I totally got that… He always used any means necessary to achieve his goals, after all… In listening to Chuuni-san’s words, I slipped out a smile, and then something flashed in my mind.

“Well, after asking us, he kept telling us do retakes on the site over and over again with a straight face. He’s definitely nuts.”

“When he asked for three more patterns on the design, I thought he was going to murder us.”

“Indeed, truly nonsensical. It’s like he had no heart. He’s a demon, a devil, an editor!”

When I looked up from the light bulb going off in my head, the three glasses were having fun insulting senpai.

“You guys are noisy. I’m thinking right now, so please be quiet.”

I roared at them, and they finally went quiet. God, if you wanted to hold a tournament on who could insult him the most, do it some other time. Because I would totally win it.

Exactly. My senpai was the worst person ever, and he was such an incredibly, rotten scumbag. His eyes were mostly rotten, but his personality was even worse.

That’s why, he could use any means necessary to achieve his goals. A big event like a joint prom was bound to involve all sorts of parties, but he only saw it as a means to an end.

That means, his goal was…

When I arrived at the answer, a smile formed at my lips, simultaneously leaving it was a whisper.

“I seriously don’t get it at all…”



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