8
And then Yukino Yukinoshita…
Once night falls, a cold wind from the sea always begins to blow over Destiny Land.
When the winds are too strong, the fireworks following the parade are canceled. But seeing as nothing had been announced yet, there would probably be fireworks as scheduled.
After the Ginnie the Grue gift shop, we visited various attractions and took reference photos. I had severe doubts as to how useful these photos would be, but, well, at the end of the day, we had our hands tied for the whole weekend anyway. Thinking about it that way, even if these photos were just for reference, they probably wouldn’t be completely useless.
This constant walking and standing was obviously tiring. Though we’d sandwiched in breaks on the way, we couldn’t really rest in the crowded park, and we were all getting worn out.
We were still walking around now, right before the parade was to start, figuring we’d get one last ride in at the end, but everyone was walking slower than they had in the afternoon.
As a sort of habit, whenever I’m traveling with a group, I’ll naturally position myself diagonally and to the rear of everyone else. That meant I got an indirect view of all their tired faces and saw them talking less.
So it jumped out at me in particular when Isshiki, walking diagonally ahead of me, expressly spoke to Tobe. “…Tobe, can I ask you something?” Her voice was quiet, taking care not to draw too much attention.
But Tobe’s response was loud. “Sure, whassup, Irohasu?”
Isshiki yanked on his sleeve in rebuke and whispered something into his ear.
“…Huh? Seriously?” Tobe said, less like he was surprised, and more like he just didn’t really like what he was hearing. With a complicated expression, he glanced around warily and lowered his voice to reply. But since he was usually so loud, it was weird and unnatural for him to talk so secretively.
It seemed the discussion was over with just those few remarks, as Isshiki gave Tobe a casual bow of her head, then hopped off to the front, where Hayama and Miura were. It seemed she’d made some request of him, something that made him uncomfortable. He was constantly tugging at the hair at the back of his head.
Up at the front, Isshiki fell into step beside Hayama, and on his other side, there was Miura. It looked like they meant to continue ahead through the square.
When Isshiki started to talk with him, Hayama responded in an easygoing manner, showing few signs of exhaustion, but Miura’s steps were dragging. She was clearly tired.
Yuigahama and Ebina, following after them, chattered away enthusiastically with each other, still full of energy.
Walking in the back, I was kind of in tired mode.
Yukinoshita, walking in a similar position, had also slowed down a bit. Endurance wasn’t her forte to begin with, and on top of that, there were the crowds. She had to be the most tired.
She continued to move her thin legs heavily. Suddenly, she breathed a deep sigh.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
But her reply was curt. “I’m fine.”
Was she not looking at me because she was tired or because things were still awkward between us? I couldn’t quite decide.
“Oh, whoops!” Hearing Yuigahama’s voice from up front, I looked over.
Right then, a rope was being strung up across the road to the square we were just about to cross, to secure a route for the parade.
Yuigahama and Ebina dashed across, sliding in right before the rope was in place. Yukinoshita and I were walking a bit behind; we didn’t stand a chance.
When the path cut us off from the others, Yuigahama remembered us and turned around, waving her hand like, Heeey!
I responded by casually raising my hand. “Go on! We’ll catch up later.”
“Okay!” Yuigahama flailed her arm at us, then went ahead after Hayama and the others.
I watched her go, then turned back to Yukinoshita. “…Then let’s go.”
“All right.”
We knew where we were headed anyway. It was sort of a detour around the square, but it wasn’t like it was impossible. But the blockade for the parade meant the population density of the other route had increased, too.
Plus, now that it was night, lights were coming on bright on every attraction. A lot of people were stopping and raising their cameras to capture those images, so we couldn’t move forward like we wanted.
By the time we reached Splosh Mountain, the one we’d planned to ride next, quite a lot of time had passed. I looked over toward the entrance but couldn’t find Yuigahama and the others.
Yukinoshita was looking around, too, but once she figured they weren’t around, she opened her mouth to say, “Shall we call them?”
“Yeah…” Pulling out my phone, I dialed the number of the one in that group I knew best. After three rings, she finally picked up.
“Hellooo.” There was the hubbub of voices in the background. That was probably Hayama and their other friends.
“Where are you? We’re here.”
“Oh, sorry! We went in without you.”
“O-okay…” I thought they’d wait for us, but guess not…
I was a little shocked, and Yuigahama must have picked that up in my voice, as she hurriedly added, “It’s okay, it’s okay! If you scoot through the fast pass line to meet up with us, it’ll be quick. It’s empty right now, so you can go right on through. That’s why we figured it’d be okay for us to go ahead…”
Still listening to her, I glanced over at the line.
It was true that the line was far shorter than usual. The sign estimated the wait at this point to be about thirty minutes. And considering how fast the line was moving, it might actually be even shorter. Besides, just as Yuigahama said, if we cut through the fast pass lane, we should be able to meet up easily. Sometimes people who leave the line to go to the bathroom will use it to get back, so if we were doing it to meet up with friends, it should be no problem.
“All right.”
“Yeah, then see you soon!”
I hung up and looked at Yukinoshita. “She said we should meet up inside,” I said. Yukinoshita nodded back at me, and we headed for the line.
You can’t use the fast pass line right from the start. It can only be used for a limited time, and they do actually check it. So we lined up in the regular line to wait. But even that was moving along quickly. The crowds were probably heading for the parade instead.
“Let’s go with this line for now, until it stops moving,” I said. If we went as far as we could and then used the fast pass line like a passing lane, we’d be able to find Yuigahama and the others quickly.
Meanwhile, the line took us pretty far at a decent clip.
But then a little ahead, there was what looked like a group of high school kids in gakuran uniforms having a quarrel. The rides would empty out during the parade and the fireworks, so young people would see this as their opportunity to race around as fast as possible to a bunch of rides. It seemed they were doing just that and, in the process, had cut in front of someone ahead of them in line, or something.
A staff member dashed over right away, and all of them were ejected from the premises. This rebuke cast a solemn pall over everyone waiting.
Yukinoshita looked over the faces of the people before and after us in the line. “It doesn’t feel as if we can slip out by saying our friends are a little ahead now…”
“Yeah. Guess I’ll call them again.” I pulled out my phone and pressed redial. It rang several times, but there was no answer. “She’s not answering…” Yuigahama’s the only one whose number I know… I’d told Hayama my number before, but I still didn’t know his.
“Do you know anyone else’s?” I tried asking Yukinoshita just in case, but she shook her head. Of course…
With no other choice, we waited while I tried calling Yuigahama a few times. Meanwhile, the line moved along until the lower level came into view. Once we came down the curve, we’d be at the ride’s boarding area already.
“Now that we’ve come this far, it’d be faster to get on rather than go back,” I said. “They might be waiting at the exit.”
“…T-true.” Yukinoshita sounded somehow uneasy as she answered. Glancing over, I saw she’d turned away.
“…What’s wrong?”
“…” She didn’t reply to my question.
…Wait. Hold on a second. Wait, wait, wait. I feel like I’ve seen this quite a few times before… Feeling a little uneasy, I cleared my throat. “Can I just ask something?”
“What is it?” she asked back, expression stiff.
Looking her straight in the eye and attentive to her reaction, I asked slowly, “Are you scared of these things?”
We both stared at each other with blank faces for a while without saying a word. Then her eyes slid over to one side. “…I…wouldn’t say I’m scared…”
Oh, that expression looks familiar… It’s just like when she said she’s scared of dogs.
Ahhh, so that’s it; I knew it! I was familiar with this behavioral pattern from Yukinoshita. Indeed, thinking back now, she’d been wobbling a bit after riding the Mountain. So that hadn’t been because she’d been affected by the crowds; it was because she didn’t like roller coasters.
“You should’ve just told me… Let’s go back.”
“I’m fine.”
“Uh, but you don’t really like it, right?” I said, and Yukinoshita scowled.
And then, rather firmly, she said, “I’m saying I’ll be fine.”
“Don’t be dumb. You don’t have to force yourself, and it’s not worth being so stubborn about.” My words came out harsher than usual, too.
That made Yukinoshita’s shoulders twitch, and she dropped her gaze. “…That’s not it. I really am okay,” she said, and her voice sounded younger than usual. No, that’s not it. She just normally looked so mature, when actually, she was the same age as me. She continued, words halting. “I felt uneasy about it, but when I was with Yuigahama, I was all right… So I think…I’ll be all right.”
She wasn’t giving a clear and distinct reason; in fact, she was being rather vague, compared with her usual, logical way of speaking. But that’s what makes me think it was close to what she really felt. So then I should respect that.
“Well, if you say so…,” I said, but she didn’t raise her head yet. She’s still scared of roller coasters, so she can’t be fine with getting on when she’s like this… Searching for the words to say to her, I scratched at my head. “And you know. You can just take it easy on the ride. You’re not gonna die, after all.”
“O-of course,” she said, head still sagging, and then she glanced at me with upturned eyes. “…We won’t die, right?”
Just how anxious about this is she…?
“It’ll be fine. I mean, I’ve never heard of it happening,” I said, and as we made our way down the line, she trudged after me. After descending the final curve, we arrived at the boarding zone.
Then it was our turn.
I got on first. Fists clenched tight, Yukinoshita boarded, too. She grabbed for the bar as soon as she sat down. She was squeezing it so hard, her arms were trembling.
Even once the log slowly started floating out, she didn’t relax in her seat.
Eventually, some fancy music started playing, and the story of Br’er Weasel and Br’er Ferret doing something or other began to play. Every time the robot weasel blinked, there was this clacking mechanical sound. But it seemed Yukinoshita was too wound up to notice even that, and her eyes were focused straight ahead.
“Um…it’s not gonna fall yet, so you don’t have to cling to the bar.”
“Y-yes, o-of course…” She finally let go of the bar. Then she exhaled a tired sigh.
“You really don’t seem to like this…,” I said. Even though I knew she wasn’t a fan, I hadn’t thought it’d be this bad.
Yukinoshita smiled in self-deprecation. “Yes. Things happened with my sister, a long time ago…”
“Hmm? Oh, your sister, huh?”
Her again…
Haruno Yukinoshita is her older sister and a perfect Demon Superhuman, surpassing even Yukinoshita. But actually, Miss Yukinoshita hasn’t been perfect at all, has she…? Oh, she’s by far superior to all the rest, though.
But the one to surpass her was always Haruno Yukinoshita.
It seemed talking calmed Yukinoshita down somewhat, as she was looking around the attraction. There were frogs dancing around the shores, and jets of water spraying in circles.
Matching the gentle pace of the log, Yukinoshita spoke slowly. “It was when I was little. She always teased me when we came to places like this.”
“I can kind of imagine…” Haruno could always find time in her already busy schedule to mess with her sister. When they’d been younger, she would have teased Yukinoshita as mercilessly as any bully.
Yukinoshita giggled. I think this was the first time she’d smiled since getting on the ride. “Yes, she would shake the Ferris wheel seats, peel my hands off the bar when we were on roller coasters, and, well, all sorts of things. Oh, and when I stopped the coffee cup, she would keep spinning it the whole time… She always seemed to be having so much fun then…” As she spoke, her expression gradually darkened. I felt exhausted just listening to her. Haruno is basically the cause of everything Yukinoshita is scared of, isn’t she? “She’s always like that…,” Yukinoshita muttered.
The log continued along a deep, dark course. A vulture robot said something ominous. When I looked up at the vulture, the ceiling opened wide, and the night sky peeked in. The log rattled as it ascended. We’d be at the top soon. Yukinoshita tensed up.
The moment I thought we were going to dive straight down, the log rattled to a stop and sat there horizontally.
There, we could see outside Destiny Land. The active volcano attraction of Destiny Sea emitted a bright-red light, and the cluster of hotels was lit with dazzling Christmas lights. In the distance, you could see the illuminated facade of the new city center.
And spread out below us was the sight of Destiny Land at night, its many lights sparkling like stars.
Seeing it, Yukinoshita breathed a short sigh. “Hey, Hikigaya.”
“Hmm?” I turned around, and the white castle illuminated by pale blue came into view.
Wearing her starkly white coat, close to tears, Yukinoshita was smiling.
Her noble, fragile figure stole my breath away.
She let go of the bar and grasped my sleeve. When our skin touched, it felt like a clench around my heart.
Eventually, I felt us drifting up, as if we were falling forever.
“One day, help me.”
Her whisper disappeared into the air rushing by as we fell, and I couldn’t reply.
I think that was probably the first wish Yukino Yukinoshita had ever voiced.
The gift shop was a short walk from the exit of Splosh Mountain. I picked out a random drink there and bought it, then returned the way I’d come.
After getting off the ride, Yukinoshita had been unsteady on her feet, so she was resting on a bench right outside the exit. I returned to the bench to discover she’d gone shopping and was tucking a long, thin plastic bag into her bag. When I noticed it, she closed it and set it on her knees.
“Here.” I held out the Grue-bear drink that had come with a Grue-bear bottle case (Christmas version) that I’d just bought at the gift shop, and Yukinoshita graciously accepted it.
“Thank you… How much was it?”
“No, it’s fine; I don’t need anything. I’d feel bad to rip money off a sick person.”
“I can’t accept it for free.”
“Ambulances don’t take money.”
“The ambulance workers do accept proper compensation.”
“There are good civilians who do it for free. I’m just doing this for myself, and you have to deal with it. Take it.”
“You’re just being contrary…” She was exasperated, but she squeezed the bottle case tight in both hands. Then she gently stroked the raised Grue-bear design with her finger. “…You’ve done this before.”
“Have I?” I said as I tossed back the coffee I’d also bought in that gift shop.
Yukinoshita twirled the bamboo-themed straw stuck in the Grue-bear bottle. “Yes, my sister was there then.”
“…Oh yeah.” I think that was when I first met Haruno. Now that I think of it, I’d forced Yukinoshita to take that stuffed animal I’d won at a crane game (and she’d tried to give it back). I’d met Haruno right after that.
“Your perception of her was correct immediately, so I was startled…,” Yukinoshita said with a wry chuckle. I guess the memory must have amused her.
“I just kinda had a sense of her. Besides, even if you do see through her, she doesn’t try to hide her nature.”
“That’s right. I think that’s part of her charm. Everyone has always loved her. Despite being the way she is…no, because she’s like that, she’s been loved and coddled and had high expectations placed on her…and she’s met those expectations,” Yukinoshita said. A sort of heat was creeping into her voice. Depending on how you listened to her, you might think she was proudly boasting about her sister. But that heat rapidly dissipated. “I’ve always stayed behind her, acting like a doll…so I’ve been called a quiet child, not a troublemaker… But I know that behind my back, they’ve called me unfriendly, disagreeable—among other things.”
As she spoke, I made short noises of acknowledgment to show that I was listening. I put my lips to my coffee again. It was warming me up, but it was particularly bitter.
Quiet, not a troublemaker, a good girl. Were those words constricting her?
“I’ve gotten that, too,” I said. “Unfriendly and disagreeable… I still do—from Miss Hiratsuka.”
“You’re more cheeky, or brash, or trash, or something like that, aren’t you?”
“Hey. One of those things was not like the others,” I said, and Yukinoshita laughed pleasantly. Eventually, that turned into a peaceful smile.
“I think you and my sister seem that way because you’re consistent in your actions…but I didn’t know how to act.” She looked up at the sky. Above us were not stars but lamps glowing orange. They were hung up on a line, swaying in the wind. “I’m sure Hayama and I are the same, in that way. Because we’ve always been watching her.”
I was a little surprised at Hayama’s name coming up all of a sudden. Hayama’s relationship with the Yukinoshita sisters goes back way further than mine and is probably deeper.
That territory is still completely unknown to me.
But still, Yukino Yukinoshita and Hayato Hayama—I understand that Haruno Yukinoshita is always there, where both of them wound up.
One has continued to admire her, even despite her hostility.
One has assimilated himself in an attempt to approach her, out of his admiration.
And how did those two see themselves?
I wanted to ask, but I didn’t do it. I poured black coffee into my half-opened mouth and asked something else. “Do you still want to be like her?” During the cultural festival some time ago, Yukinoshita had spoken of how she’d once admired Haruno.
“Do I? I don’t really think so now… But my sister has things I don’t.”
“And you want them?”
Yukinoshita shook her head. “No. I wonder why I don’t, and I’m disappointed in myself for it.”
I felt like I could understand that. Admiration, envy, and jealousy all eventually lead to despair. All you can understand from looking at others is your own deficits.
Yukinoshita dropped her gaze to her hands. “And you do, too. You have what I don’t, too… We aren’t anything alike, are we?”
“Well, of course…” We were not at all alike. But because we had a few points that were almost in common, I’d projected myself, decided I knew best, made mistaken assumptions, and mistook one feeling for another.
“That’s why…I think I wanted something else,” Yukinoshita said, and then she adjusted the collar of her coat and faced me. “When I realized there’s nothing I can do, I wanted something that neither you nor my sister have… Because I thought if I had that, I could help.”
“Help what?” I asked, wanting to fill in the missing words. What could she help, if she had what?
But she wouldn’t tell me.
“…Oh, I wonder.” She smiled girlishly, almost like a test.
The answer to that question was probably her reason.
The reason why Yukino Yukinoshita had tried to run for president in the student council election.
Or it was something she still had yet to speak of, that I had yet to ask about.
I hadn’t asked what she meant that moment when the log had fallen, either. And she hadn’t touched on it. But as if in place of that, she softly muttered something else.
The idea that I would understand, even if she didn’t say, even if I didn’t ask, was just like a certain someone’s mistaken wish.
I finished my now-lukewarm coffee. When Yukinoshita saw I was done, she stood up. “I’m fine now, so let’s get going.”
“Yeah,” I answered, then headed off for the square. I recalled we’d planned to see the fireworks there, after this.
The parade was soon coming to a close. Then the road that had been blocked off would be opened.
I called Yuigahama to ask when we’d meet up.
Yukinoshita and I walked to the white castle in the square without really talking. Now that the parade was over, the crowds had receded a bit, and it was much easier to walk around, compared with earlier. Taking a break must have helped Yukinoshita, too, as her pace seemed more grounded.
Once we arrived at the square, we searched for Yuigahama.
“Oh, Hikki! Yukinon! Over here, over here!” Cell phone in hand, like she was about to call us, Yuigahama waved wide. As soon as we were together again, she smacked her hands together and bowed her head. “Sorry we went on without you!”
“It’s all right,” Yukinoshita said with a smile, and Yuigahama sighed in relief.
“Well, you weren’t alone,” I said, “and I wouldn’t want to make you all wait. More importantly, did you get photos of the parade?”
“Oh, yep! I did!” Yuigahama said, and she showed us the pictures with her camera. Since data collection was our excuse for being here, I wanted to get a solid sense of a Christmas event like this one.
“See, Yukinon. Look, look!”
“…Would you mind if I checked that data?” Yukinoshita muttered quietly, pressing her hands against her chest. It seemed she rather regretted having missed Grue-bear in the parade.
Uh, well, if you’d just said so, we could’ve seen it in person, you know?
The pair of them were looking at the camera and talking excitedly about this and that—but enough about that, what about the others?
It was about time for the fireworks to start.
Then, looking around the square, I heard some familiar loud voices.
“Huh? Where’s Hayato?”
“Oh, Yumiko, over here a minute, c’mon.”
“Hey, Tobe, what?”
Tobe came over with Miura in tow, while Ebina followed after.
“Uh, um. Like, you know, I dunno… There’s this cool thing over here? Ebina, you should come over here, too, eh?”
“Huh? Okay, well, I’m fine with anywhere, though.”
I feel like Ebina’s got a rather aggressive barrier to Tobe’s advances…
Anyway, now we were basically all there. It was just Hayama and Isshiki left… I was examining the area, and Yuigahama did the same. “Tobecchi,” she asked, “where are Hayato and Iroha-chan?”
“Huh? Ah…well, they’ll come soon,” Tobe said rather vaguely, but he’s always so half-assed about explaining things that it’s difficult to tell what he means… Well, he’s a good guy, though.
While we were talking, the streetlights and decorations lit around the square went out. Then classical music began to play.
“It’s starting, isn’t it?” Yukinoshita said, looking up at the white castle. It seemed the fireworks were going to be around there.
As expected of an annual pass holder—she’s so knowledgeable.
I looked up in the same direction as Yuigahama and Yukinoshita.
Then, in the clear winter sky, multicolored halos of light burst into wild bloom. If you’re talking fireworks, it’s standard to have them in summer, but these fireworks bursting only to vanish over Orion were rather classier than I’d have thought.
“Brings back memories, huh?” Yuigahama leaned over to murmur in my ear.
I felt a shiver and turned around, but she must have forgotten what she’d just said, as she was watching the fireworks and oohing as she clapped her hands. Listen, that distracted me with what’s happening on the ground, and now I can’t concentrate on the fireworks at all. I’ll sue.
Unable to bring myself to look up again, with the fireworks blinking in my vision, I caught sight of some familiar people, turned away from us.
The pair was standing in the dark, but each time a firework went up, the two of them were illuminated by its light.
Hayama and Isshiki were a little ways from us, watching the show.
With each flash, the distance between the two of them reduced. It was just like a shadow play, and before I knew it, that was all I was watching.
At the end, golden light rained down in the night sky.
In the brightly illuminated square, Isshiki slowly went away from Hayama, head listing downward. Meanwhile, Hayama looked up at the sky, then started in the opposite direction.
The music stopped, and the light of the streetlamps and the dazzling shine of the attractions returned.
As the guests sighed in satisfaction, Iroha Isshiki dashed past us, covering her mouth as if something was wrong.
“I-Irohasu?!” Tobe noticed immediately when she passed and called after her. “Hey, Irohasuuuu!”
But she didn’t turn around and disappeared into the crowd.
“I-I’m gonna go look for her!” Tobe rushed off.
Miura seemed to clue in. She twirled her hair around her finger and breathed a deep sigh. “Agh… I’ll go, too.”
“Then so will I.” Ebina followed after her, then Yuigahama lightly raised a hand.
“M-me too!”
“Yui and…Yukinoshita? Can you stay here? She might come back. And we’ll call once we’ve found her, so let Tobe and Ebina know,” Miura said to the two of them as she swept aside her hair in irritation. She seemed like she didn’t want to do this, but she was giving pretty sensible directions.
“Oh, okay,” Yuigahama replied, and Miura nodded back at her and strode off.
Watching Miura go, Yukinoshita tilted her head. “Did something happen?”
Well, I’m sure Yukinoshita was only watching the fireworks…
If my estimations were correct, this situation could only point to one thing.
Destiny Land on Christmas, the fireworks after the parade, and the white castle would have created a moment seemingly made for them. Plus Tobe’s attitude. Put them all together, and you had a full hand. Isshiki must have confessed her feelings to Hayama. I couldn’t imagine anything else.
“…Then I’ll go, too,” I said.
“Yeah, okay,” said Yuigahama, while Yukinoshita was still obviously confused.
But I wasn’t going to Isshiki. Miura could probably deal with her better—way better than if I went.
But I felt like I had to go to the other one.
Even after Isshiki left, Hayama didn’t approach us. Which meant he was waiting.
Thinking back on that silhouetted scene I’d witnessed, I followed the path he would have taken.
And in the darkness, away from the white castle, I found him.
While everyone’s attention was turned to Isshiki, he was just slightly off on a side path, walking in my direction. When he noticed me, he smiled sadly. “…Hey.”
“’Sup.”
Sitting down on the fence in the square, Hayama breathed a tiny sigh. “…I feel bad for Iroha.”
“That’s selfish. If you feel bad, then you should’ve just gone out with her,” I said, and Hayama laughed awkwardly.
“I can’t. You’re rather inconsiderate to say something like that when you know what’s going on.”
“I guess.” I could confidently say I was inconsiderate. The edges of my mouth twisted into an unpleasant smile.
But Hayama didn’t really get angry. In fact, when he glanced at me, his eyes were sorrowful, even a little distressed. “…Did you know…why she came to confess to me?”
“No, of course not.”
“I see…” But the way he said that, it was as if he was saying he’d been trying to prevent Isshiki from confessing this whole time.
“So did you know? That she, uh…well, had some feelings.”
“…Yeah,” he replied, sounding melancholy. There was no arrogance or conceit there. All I could sense from his tone was something like regret.
I see…
Hayama has to act dense about people’s affections, or he can’t maintain those relationships. When people’s feelings fail to reach their target, they will distance themselves. That fact itself isn’t his fault, but Hayama must have been forced to constantly dodge those affections to avoid that result.
That had also been clear with that incident during the school field trip. I’d sympathized with him then. I’d shown I understood. I couldn’t say that was a mistake, but I knew avoiding things could hurt people, too.
“If you noticed, then wasn’t it just that you weren’t ready?” I said.
Hayama slowly shook his head. “That’s not it. I’m honestly flattered she feels that way. But she has it wrong. I don’t think it’s me…” He spoke hesitantly and vaguely. And I waited for him to continue, but the words never came. Instead, he changed the subject. “…You’re amazing. Changing the people around you like that… Iroha probably feels the same…”
“Huh? What’s with this sudden praise?” I said, and Hayama let out a dry laugh.
“Ha-ha, that’s not what it is… I told you, I’m not as good a guy as you think,” he insisted, the very same thing he’d said before on the school field. Then he dropped his head and sighed deeply. “I’m complimenting you…for my sake.”
“Why would you do that…?” I questioned him, examining his face.
He was glaring at me with slightly narrowed eyes. “The same reason you assume I’m a good guy, most likely.”
“There’s no particular reason for that. I’m just telling you what I see.”
“Oh really, now?” Hayama replied coldly.
No, that’s not right.
I’d realized a long time ago. Hayato Hayama is not at all a saint. That thin smile was the greatest evidence of all.
He tucked away that smile, then stood from the fence he’d been sitting on. “I’m going home. Tell the others for me.”
“Text them or something yourself.”
“…Yeah. See you.” He smiled wryly and casually raised a hand.
And then, without turning around, Hayato Hayama disappeared deeper into the darkness.
The train back was quiet. Of course, we were tired, too, but the greatest reason for the low volume was the lack of Tobe, who had been chattering away for Isshiki’s sake earlier.
Miura and Ebina were also absent.
The three of them were taking the Musashino Line home, transferring to the train to Nishi Funabashi, which was different from the Keiyo Line route that Yukinoshita, Yuigahama, and Isshiki were taking. Either route was about the same for me, but it would be a pain in the butt to bother transferring, so I chose the Keiyo Line.
It was a little crowded on the train, and I couldn’t get a seat, but it still wasn’t as packed as during rush hour. Yuigahama and Yukinoshita chatted occasionally but were otherwise silent, staring out the windows.
We stayed on the train for about twenty minutes, when we were about to reach Kaihin-Makuhari Station, where Yukinoshita and I would get off.
“This is my stop,” Yukinoshita said, going to stand in front of the doors, and Yuigahama followed her.
“I-I’ll get off here, too.”
“Isn’t your stop later?” I asked.
Yuigahama took Yukinoshita’s arm. “It’s the weekend, so today, I’m staying over at Yukinon’s place.”
“Oh, okay.”
Well, Yuigahama had often stayed over at Yukinoshita’s place before, so if she had an opportunity like this, then all the more reason for her to do so. I should honestly welcome that their relationship was back to that stage.
Regardless, I had to get off at this station, too. So Isshiki would be left alone on the train. “Isshiki, where’s your station?” I asked her, but she didn’t answer. Her response was a tug-tug on my jacket sleeve.
Then she held out her bag of souvenirs. “Hey. This bag is really heavy.”
“You bought too much…,” I said, but I accepted the bag. Then suddenly, Yuigahama smiled.
“…Yeah, maybe that’s best.”
“Please do be careful, Isshiki.”
Miss Yukinoshita? You’re implying something else there, aren’t you?
When we arrived at Kaihin-Makuhari, the two of them got off the train. Left behind, Isshiki and I continued on the gently swaying train for about three stations more.
The station where I got off was Chiba Minato Station. From there, I’d transfer over to the monorail. There weren’t many passengers around this hour, and we were the only ones aboard.
The monorail slid along through the nighttime lights. I could never get used to how high it was, and its path through the sky, combined with the floating feeling of dangling from the rail above, made it feel like another kind of park ride.
Looking out the window, Isshiki sighed and muttered, “Agh…it was no use…”
“…Uh, look, you knew it wasn’t gonna happen if you tried it now.” I hadn’t known Isshiki for all that long, and it wasn’t like I was particularly close with Hayama, either. But still, I’d never expected those two expressly to try that method of getting closer.
Still watching the city view beyond the window, Isshiki said, “…But I had to. The mood was so perfect.”
“That’s surprising. I’d have thought you weren’t the type to get swept up in the moment,” I said.
Isshiki’s reflection in the window cracked the slightest smile. “I’m surprised, too. Being that emotional.”
“…Yeah, you act like you’re boy crazy, but you’re actually pretty shrewd, like…,” I began, but Isshiki turned around and cut me off.
“I don’t mean me… I mean, you know…”
“What?” The conversation had made another leap. I’d thought we were talking about Isshiki, so when had the topic changed? Did she mean me? Or was she talking about someone else? Which makes me think, why does she never call me by my name…? Is it like, does she maybe not remember it?
As I was considering these matters, Isshiki was staring intently at me. It seemed she was talking about me after all. She chuckled. “Got me right here, you know?”
“What did?” I asked.
Isshiki adjusted herself in her seat, and her manner extremely serious, she straightened her back, looked me right in the eye, and said, “…Now I want something real, too.”
Those words made me blush. Oh yeah, right when I left the clubroom that day, I ran into her… I pressed my hand to my forehead. “You heard that…?”
“It was just loud enough,” she said nonchalantly.
I replied a bit pathetically, “…Forget about it.”
“I won’t… I can’t.” Isshiki’s expression was far more serious than usual. “That’s why today, I thought I’d give it a shot.”
I didn’t know what the real thing she wished for was. It wasn’t necessarily the same as my fantasy. I didn’t know if such a thing even existed. But Iroha Isshiki did wish for it, and that’s a very noble thing, in my opinion.
I could hardly think of any words of consolation, but I searched for something to offer her. “Um, well. You know, don’t worry about it. It’s not like you’re at fault.”
She blinked. Then she scooted away from me. “WhatareyoutakingadvantageofmyheartbreakheretotrytoseducemeI’msorryit’sstillkindofnoway.”
“I’m not…”
Just how is she even interpreting this…? Did she hear the word like and think this was a confession?
Seeing my exasperation, Isshiki cleared her throat, shifted back to where she’d been before, and sat down again. “Anyway, it’s not over yet. In fact, this is actually an effective way to target him. All the other girls will stay away from him out of sympathy for me, right?”
“…O-oh, is that how it works?” I said, half-impressed and half-exasperated. Yeah, impressive, as always…
Isshiki puffed out her chest with a chuckle and said proudly, “That’s how it works. And besides, sometimes you have to go for it, even when you know you’re gonna be rejected. Also, there’s, like, when you reject someone, you think about them, right? You feel sorry for them, don’t you? That’s normal… So this loss is just strategic preparation to give me the advantage for the future… So, um…I have to do my best.”
A little sob slipped out, and tears welled in her eyes.
I can’t tell someone who’s doing their best to do their best. Komachi says at times like that, you can just say I love you, but those are words for little sister use. I thought about giving her a pat on the head, at least, but that was also reserved for little sisters.
“You’re really something.”
That was all I could say.
Then she looked up at me with wet, upturned eyes. “It’s your fault that I ended up like this.”
“Uh, that you became president, sure, but everything else…”
But she didn’t let me finish, leaning her face closer to mine to whisper in my ear, “Please take responsibility.”
Then this younger girl gave me a devilish little smile.
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