Chapter 3: The Meaning of Freedom
The questions Kouenji asked Sakura and I had been on my mind for a long time. On day 3, I left the base camp just before noon and turned my feet to enter the forest. Just then, there was a girl who came near, running from behind.
“Gasp, gasp, pant… what are you planning to do now, Ayanokouji-kun?”
Sakura came running like she was searching for me. She exhaled and with every breath, her big breasts moved up and down.
“Have I not tied a handkerchief to a tree? I’m going there to check something out.”
I wanted to confirm if it was true at an earlier date but I hardly had the time to do it.
“Wow…… I know I shouldn’t come……………. right? I’d be a hindrance, but…………..”
“You shouldn’t do it. Aren’t you worried about the various rumours in circulation?”
“It doesn’t bother me at all. Besides…… mumble mumble”
With a whisper, she coughed something out but even though I drew my ear near, I couldn’t comprehend it. Her voice was that low.
“I don’t think this would be a fun thing to do, though? After coming to this island at great pains, I think it’d be better for you to have a little fun…. even though I don’t have a fun side myself.”
I decided to turn down Sakura’s proposal with an appropriate excuse. But…
“Well, doing that is fun for me!”
Sakura recoiled, feeling bad more than I imagined. At those strong words, our eyes met with a look of horror. Then Sakura squatted down, hiding her face.
“Flustered… Ahhh, in other words, this will be different! Urghhh!! ….”
….I didn’t know exactly what Sakura was saying. All I could tell was she’s an interesting girl. She only had to show this part of herself to others.
“Well then, should we go together? There’s a condition. Later, even if we get in trouble, you won’t blame yourself.”
“It’s okay!?”
She replied while hiding her face with her hands. What kind of exchange was this….
On the way, finding the silence weird, I decided to kill time by bringing up a familiar topic. Nothing could be more awkward than the lone sound of crispy and crunchy footsteps on the soil.
“Are you doing well with the girls’ company? For this kind of life, you can’t do it alone.”
“Nuh-uh, not at all. I don’t even talk to them, nor do I something else.”
As if I was embarrassed by my pathetic self, I coughed while rolling a strand of hair with my index finger.
“I really can’t do anything. I can neither study nor do sports, I’m never improving in anything.”
“That’s not true at all. Sakura-chan is improving steadily.”
“Ehhh? Me, improving? Hahahah…… No way.”
“It’s true. Maybe you may not see it yourself, but little by little, you’re surely growing.”
I conveyed these things, not only by words but also through my behaviour. It’s effective for types that aren’t confident like Sakura. It was the first time I made an appeal with words from the bottom of my heart, hoping they could ring out in my partner’s heart too. Sakura stopped walking and looked at me with wavering eyes. Like those words didn’t come from me. She was unconsciously trying to find the true meaning of my words.
“It’s okay. Sakura can make new friends soon. School will be even more fun.”
When our eyes met, Sakura hurriedly averted her gaze and looked down.
Even the fact that she managed to look at people for one moment. Even taking in only one reaction from others was such a great difference from when we first met.
“That said… it seems like that man retired after the incident.”
That man worked at an electronics retail store located on the school’s premises. That man was an extremely enthusiastic fan of Sakura when she was a gravure idol…. No, he was more of a stalker. He wasn’t satisfied with only spending all his time on Sakura’s homepage but if there was a chance, he would attempt any contact with her and I understood he was up to something.
“Thanks for that time….. It’s all thanks to Ayanokouji-kun.”
“I didn’t do anything. Sakura has been saved only because Kushida became close with you and because Horikita and Ichinose cooperated, while I was like a bystander. Apart from that, nothing strange happened from that incident?”
Even though the stalker left the school grounds, it’s also possible to make contact through the internet.
“Yeah, it’s all ok. Now, the bulletin board’s people are also taking a little break.”
This was by way of precaution, right? I think they made a good choice.
“And yet, even if you were nervous and frightened when you were an idol, you always had a dignified expression.”
“About that……. basically, I wanted to take photographs by myself.”
“Long ago? Were they selfies in the magazines?”
Sakura, who heard it, answered with a little bitter smile.
“It didn’t go well at all and I took much more time than others. Also, a cameraman would take shots of all the girls to reduce the number of people involved as much as possible. Besides…. as if I was without emotion when I erased myself, I could endure it emptily. But, in the end, since I reached my breaking point, I stopped doing it.”
Because she talked without pausing, Sakura suddenly paused a moment and breathed in and out. The case of the stalker seemed to have left a big scar on Sakura, but it’s all turning for the better.
Before our eyes, there was quite a thick bunch of trees. I left Sakura’s side and went ahead to lead and open a path. If Sakura ended up hurt because of the branches, there’d be a lot of trouble. Then, after continuing walking for a while, I felt that the front of the path was becoming steep so I decided it’d be better to take a break soon.
I looked back. I never thought that looking back, I would see Sakura trembling with shaking shoulders.
“Let’s take a break. It’ll take a little while longer to reach the destination.”
Sakura would be exhausted if we walked on such a wild trail for 30 minutes. She was just beginning to look a little happy.
I searched for a big tree that could protect us with shade from the weather that was becoming hotter and hotter. I sat down between the roots in a space where two people could sit well. However, Sakura, maybe for precaution or modesty, wanted to sit a little apart. But the ground was uneven, and it would only hurt if she sat there.
“Sit down here.”
“Is it okay?”
“Here is good. But we won’t ever get enough rest in this place.”
“Mhm, yes….”
After the short interaction, Sakura sank down next to me, keeping her distance. It’s a distance where the sleeves of our gym uniforms were touching slightly.
“Nature is amazing, isn’t it………… I just like to spend a lot of precious time even only walking around for a while.”
“Considering that Kouenji seemed disappointed, it looks like this place is still good enough for the school that tended to it with great care. Going to a jungle overseas would have brought more dangers.”
“When we departed at the beginning, I was very depressed. I had no friends, nor did I enjoy travelling. And I thought it’d be better to confine myself to my room. Because like that, it’d be the same as always. But then, this happened. We’ve been told this would be a trial…..”
I placed my back on the tree and Sakura looked up at the sky.
“But, this moment… I think that it was good that we’ve come here, together even for a little. I never had the opportunity to chat with you like this at school, Ayanokouji-kun…”
It seemed that sitting within the deep woods, wrapped in nature, brought a feeling of calmness.
“I wish we could stay like this forever!”
“Yes, that would be nice.”
It was still the third day since we had come to the deserted island and I felt like I’d spent the longest time just being with Sakura. I wondered if this was some kind of a mutual arrangement between people who did not have friends.
However, it did not feel strange and it did not happen in vain. As Sakura said, I felt like the distance between us had shortened a little.
It wasn’t a love affair or something like that, but indeed, we became friends. Our relationship changed so suddenly that I did not even understand when it had begun to actually change.
“Hmm… It’s a pity. If we had a digital camera, we could have taken the best photos…”
Sakura made a thumbs-up with both her hands, but instantly she felt embarrassed by the gesture and regret showed on her face.
Certainly, cameras are essential in shaping memories. A certain form remains intact.
As I remembered watching Sakura at school carrying a digital camera and taking photos all the time, I thought that this moment must be a perfect shuttered chance for her.
So that a certain form remained intact… I see why Ibuki had a digital camera.
“However, when we enter the photo, does that mean that we also mess up the scenery?”
“If there is Ayanokouji-kun, then it seems that it’ll be the best one.. Ah!.. No!!.. I mean.. That’s because I’ve never taken any pictures together with a friend!”
Sakura kept denying what she said, shaking her face. It’s genuinely natural. At that point, I had conclusive evidence.
While sitting side by side, I suddenly stared at Sakura.
At first, Sakura did not notice that my eyes were watching her, but as our long silence continued, she finally noticed it.
“Wh… What? What is it?
“Hey! Calm down. Be quiet.”
I firmly held Sakura, who had fallen into a panic, on both her shoulders.
“Kyaaaaa!!”
As I held Sakura’s body closer to mine, she was unable to move, like a frog snatched by a snake. I took a peek at Sakura over her head. I saw something moving… a bug was crawling on Sakura’s hair. Even I, who didn’t know a lot about insects, could easily identify it. It’s what we commonly call “a caterpillar”.
For real, just by looking at it, I felt sick. A body that moved, and attached to the body, a myriad of limbs that were moving too, so that it’s too much to make the spine straight. Apparently, it fell from the leaves of the tree we used as a backrest.
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