Chapter 5: A Day of Girl Troubles and Disaster:
A Devil Smiles Like an Angel
“You’re gonna do what I say today, Ayanokouji!”
Woken by the doorbell, I sighed when I saw my visitor. “What’re you yammering about this early? You sure are energetic, Yamauchi.”
“Sorry for the bother!” he shouted.
Thankfully, Ike and Sudou weren’t with him. But what in the world did he want with me?
“What, were you sleeping or something? Dude, you’re acting pretty chill, even though summer vacation is over in a couple days,” Yamauchi said. “Anyway, I decided that today’s gonna be special. Let me in.”
I was being chill precisely because we only had a couple days of vacation left. Still sleepy, I didn’t exactly follow Yamauchi’s train of thought, but I let him in anyway. I prepared a cup of barley tea for him and set it down.
“So, am I involved in this special day of yours?” I asked.
“I’m not gonna let you weasel out of this, Ayanokouji.
Remember when I wanted to know Sakura’s phone number?” he pressed.
Yamauchi’s determination was obvious. His eyes were slightly bloodshot.
“I see.”
I couldn’t just turn him down. The whole situation was kind of my fault, after all. Some time ago, I’d gotten Yamauchi to make a fool of himself by promising him Sakura’s number. That had damaged his perceived market value, especially in Horikita’s eyes. I definitely owed him one. Still, since I’d made that bargain without Sakura’s consent, I wasn’t about to give Yamauchi her number.
I did need to repay my debt to him, though.
“Well, if you’ve come to ask about Sakura’s number, I think that might be kinda difficult.”
“Oh no. That’s not it. I’ve given up on that.” Yamauchi produced a letter. “I’ve written down all my feelings for Sakura on this paper!”
“Written down… Wait, this is a love letter?”
“Right! I’ve written about just how much I love Sakura! Here, read it!”
Yamauchi showed me the note in the unsealed envelope.
Dearest Sakura Airi-sama, you’ve been on my mind for a long time now. Please go out with me.
“It’s really…simple. And overly formal at the beginning,” I said.
Yamauchi looked pained. “Even if I write something long, that doesn’t mean it’ll be good, right?”
That was probably true. Still, this was too little to go on. I could honestly picture the letter’s recipient—especially Sakura—being uncomfortable.
“Wait. Why is it printed, instead of handwritten?” I asked.
“I’m not really proud of this, but my handwriting sucks. I printed the letter to make it easier to read. I was kind of worried she might not be able to understand it, you know?”
Yamauchi scratched his nose with his index finger, looking a bit proud. I didn’t think that pride was merited.
“Besides, even resumes are printed nowadays, right?” he added.
“If you really want to convey your feelings, handwritten is better. Also, why’d you use such a scary-looking font?”
It was the kind of font you’d choose for something like “A strange demon appears!” It looked as though it was made for casting curses.
“It’s got impact, right? The letter’s got this whole ‘I’ve been thinking of you for a long time’ vibe.”
“For the sake of argument, I’ll let that go. The problem’s the last part,” I replied, pointing out what he’d written to add to his appeal.
If you go out with me, I’ll give you all my points every month as tribute!
“That’s no good.”
“Whaddya mean? Don’t they say that cute girls like men who can support them? If going out with Sakura means I gotta hand over all my points, I’ll do it. That’s how I’ll communicate my passion.”
I couldn’t deny that girls loved financial stability, but it kind of seemed as though Yamauchi was offering to pay Sakura to date him.
“It’s fine, dude. Even if she was only after the money, it’d be all right. I want to date her. Is that bad?”
When I affirmed that it was indeed bad, Yamauchi began to grasp just what I was getting at. “Are you seriously planning on confessing your love to her?” I asked.
“Yeah. Starting with the second semester, I’m aiming for my dream school life! I’ve already asked Kikyou-chan to help. I got her to call Sakura.”
This was all perfectly normal to Yamauchi, and I found I couldn’t bring myself to rebuke him. I should probably have stopped him, for Sakura’s sake, but at least his methods were direct and honest. I considered offering him a helping hand.
“So, what should I do? Proofread the letter?” I asked.
“Well, yeah, but I have one more really important role for you. I want you to deliver the letter to Sakura.”
“What?” I thought I’d misheard him.
“I want you to deliver the letter. Look, I’ve been feeling super nervous all morning, all right? The last time I felt this nervous, I won the final match at the Ryougoku Kokugikan Sumo Hall. That’s why I don’t have the confidence to give the letter to Sakura myself,” he explained.
Wait, what final game had he participated in at Kokugikan? I wanted to interrogate that probable lie further. It was honestly a weak statement, and uncharacteristic for Yamauchi.
“If you say the letter’s the problem, then I’ll rewrite it. Please!” Yamauchi clapped his hands, bowed his head, and begged me to help. “Any past problems between us will all be water under the bridge! If you’re ever in trouble, Ayanokouji, I’ll help you!”
“If you insist, I guess I’ll help,” I replied.
“Really?!”
“But what matters is how Sakura feels. Do you understand?”
“Yeah, I’m not an idiot. I know my chances aren’t that high.”
At least Yamauchi understood that his chances of success were low. In fact, Sakura actively shied away from men, which made his chances despairingly low. Even so, he was determined to try.
“I understand. I’ll deliver your letter. Okay?”
“Ayanokouji! You’re a lifesaver!”
Yamauchi grabbed my hand and lowered his head in reverence, as if worshipping a god.
First, I’d need to review the letter carefully. Considering that it was for Sakura, it needed to be gentler if it was going to work. Honestly, this was still rather premature. Confessing his love, when he and Sakura hadn’t even exchanged contact information, was just risky. If Yamauchi wanted to increase his chances of success, he needed to actually talk to her.
Then again, maybe Yamauchi had a point. Romance happened spontaneously. People often went from zero to sixty very quickly.
Like Yamauchi, I had zero romantic experience, but I thought that I should at least do something to help.
“Ah, that reminds me. I want to add one more thing to the letter. I want to hear Sakura’s response to my confession behind the school building,” added Yamauchi.
“Behind the school building? After Gym Number Two?”
“Yeah, yeah. It’s like, there’s this rumor, y’know? If you confess your feelings there, it’s sure to go well.”
Sounded similar to the legendary “under the tree” confession. Urban legends seemed to spring up everywhere.
“So, that’s the stage you’ve chosen for this whole production?”
“I mean, it’s not just a rumor. They say, if a student confesses their love, it’s gotta be behind the school. That’s like the golden rule.”
I couldn’t see any connection between telling someone how you felt and the back of the school building. However, I understood his thinking.
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