Mushoku Tensei (LN) - Volume 15 - Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

The Diary (Part 1)

IT WAS THE MORNING AFTER my encounter with the man who claimed to be my future self, and I hadn’t slept a wink. My mind wasn’t working too well at this point, of course—but I needed to decide what to do.

My future self had given me a few pieces of advice: “Consult Nanahoshi,” “Write Eris a letter,” and “Doubt the Man-God without opposing him.”

I’d written the letter to Eris last night. But I wasn’t going to send it until I’d talked things over with Sylphie and Roxy. Depending on how that conversation went, I might need to revise it significantly.

The thing about the Man-God sounded fine to me. The next time he popped into my dreams, I’d let him know exactly where things stood between us.

As for talking to Nanahoshi… I was tempted to go see her right away, but how was I supposed to explain the situation? The whole thing was insane. Then again, Nanahoshi had been summoned here from a parallel world. My story might sound nuts, but she probably wouldn’t just laugh it off.

First things first, though. I needed to review the diary—the one my future self had brought back with him. I had no idea what that book contained, and honestly, I was scared to find out. But I couldn’t just shove it in a drawer and forget about it. It was the only record of what that desperate old man had seen and done.

The diary was weathered and worn. Its cover was scarred, and the first pages were yellowed with age. Still, the words were at least comprehensible. 

Bracing myself, I began to read.

I’ve decided to start keeping a diary.

It’s been an eventful couple of weeks, you know? 

I met Perugius and got a few hints about Zenith’s condition. And I’ll be learning more about Summoning magic and Teleportation soon. There’s a lot I need to deal with, so I figure I’ll try writing stuff down to help keep track of it all.

Aisha was pretty down this morning. She found some “weird mouse” dead, I guess. Maybe she’s not a fan of rodents.

Apparently, someone found a cat with Petrification Syndrome in the neighborhood. Scary stuff. I’ll have to remind my family to wash their hands and rinse their mouths carefully.

We just found out Elinalise is pregnant! Cliff looked incredibly nervous, but Elinalise had a big smile on her face. We threw them a celebration, of course. You’ve got to appreciate the good times while they’re here.

In the beginning, at least, it read like a relatively mundane journal. One entry described studying Summoning magic with Perugius. Another mentioned wandering around the floating fortress with Zanoba, looking at all the works of art. There were also plenty of side notes like “I found a new way to make Roxy squeal last night!” or “Lucie looks like an angel when she’s asleep. I bet she’ll be a beauty when she grows up.” It was the diary of someone who was clearly enjoying his life.

The first few entries were dated, but he’d quickly stopped bothering. That made it impossible to tell exactly how much time had passed. Judging from the old man’s story, though, I was probably about two weeks into the future at this point.

And that was where things took a sharp turn for the worse.

Roxy collapsed today. 

She hadn’t been feeling well for a while, but now she’s developed a fever. I’ll have to tell the University she won’t be coming into work for a while. I’ve tried everything up to and including Advanced Detoxification magic, but it had no effect whatsoever. I’m worried it might be something serious. I’ll ask Cliff to take a look at her as soon as possible.

The tips of Roxy’s toes are turning into some kind of purple crystal. I called Cliff over right away to take a look with his Eye of Identification. Apparently, she’s got something called Petrification Syndrome. It’s a horrible disease that can only be cured with a God-tier Detoxification spell. 

We’re going to use the teleportation circles to visit Millis and get the incantation for the spell we need. Cliff and Zanoba are coming along with me. Sylphie wanted to go as well, but I asked her to hold down the fort here.

Well, we’ve made it to Millishion. Apparently, the church keeps the God-tier incantations stored deep inside the cathedral here. Cliff knows where they are, but the place is off-limits to everyone under the rank of archbishop. We’re planning to break in during the night. Once we get the incantation copied down, we can just sneak back out again.

We managed the break-in part just fine. But we didn’t count on the incantation being a book as thick as a dictionary. It was impossible to copy the entire thing on the spot. We had to steal it. And then they spotted us on our way out. We’re on the run right now.

We walked into an ambush at the teleportation circle. The circle itself was damaged as we fought. It’s no longer usable. Cliff was poisoned during the fight. He’s unconscious, and it looks serious.

…I killed a human being for the first time. I can still hear the crunch. Makes me sick to my stomach.

Damn it. Damn it!

We’re making our way to another teleportation circle.

Cliff’s still unconscious, and it seems like they’ve circulated our names and descriptions all around the country. We’re wanted criminals now.

I’ve made an enemy of the Millis Church for life.

Cliff died today.

I don’t want to write anything for a while.

We managed to make it to another teleportation circle somehow. This nightmare’s almost over.

We were too late.

I can’t write anything today.

I think I need to write down what happened yesterday.

We ran into Eris and Ghislaine at the entrance to the city. Eris started yapping at me, but I told her I had two wives, and a family, and no time to babysit her anymore. She wandered off, looking stunned.

Ghislaine shot me a look of contempt before she left. Really pissed me off.

When I made it back to the house, I found everyone looking miserable. Roxy was dead. Half her body had turned to crystal by the end. The whole trip to Millis ended up being pointless.

I told Elinalise about Cliff’s death. She slapped me in the face and ran off crying. 

I can’t stand this. It’s too much.

We held a funeral for Roxy.

I can barely get myself out of bed right now. All I do is cry. 

I don’t give a shit about anything.

Seems like Elinalise left town without telling anybody. Not sure a pregnant woman should be wandering around on her own, but that’s her business, I guess.

Sylphie keeps trying to cheer me up. It’s not working.

Roxy’s never coming back.

She was so sweet. So earnest. She was the one who brought me out of that house. She was the one who comforted me when Paul died. She was my compass for all these years.

And now she’s gone.

I’ve been doing nothing but getting drunk lately. When I’m sober, I remember Roxy. And then I start sobbing.

Sylphie keeps saying I can’t go on like this, but what does she know? I’ve lost the woman who taught me everything.

Lilia started nagging me when I drink in the house, so I’m getting drunk in taverns instead.

Sometimes Eris shows up to harass me when I’m drinking. She usually yells a bunch of insults, then takes a swing at me. What is that woman’s problem? And why doesn’t Ghislaine stop her?

Norn isn’t speaking to me these days, either. She just looks at me like I’m a piece of trash.

Nobody understands how I feel.

Lately, Sylphie’s been coming on to me aggressively. Keeps asking me to sleep with her and try to forget about Roxy. She was so persistent I ended up yelling at her.

Why would she say something so thoughtless? Why would she think it would work?

It’s not just that, I guess. If I slept with Sylphie right now, I’d probably be really rough with her. I’d treat her as a stand-in for Roxy. And I’d take out all my pain and anger on her. That can’t be the right thing to do.

I screwed up.

Some prostitute started flirting with me in the tavern. I was drunk as hell and ended up taking her to a room upstairs. She was great in bed, of course. A real pro. But I guess all the women I’ve slept with so far now didn’t have that much experience, really…

Okay, that’s not the important part.

When I staggered into the house smelling like another woman, Sylphie burst into tears. She asked me “Am I not good enough for you?” and then locked herself in her room before I could say anything.

Lilia gave me a real talking-to, and even Aisha scowled at me. I can still hear Sylphie sobbing in her room. She won’t answer when I knock.

I had it all wrong. She was willing to endure anything. She wanted me to throw my pain at her.

Tomorrow, I’m going to apologize.

Sylphie still won’t speak to me. What am I supposed to do?

God, if only Elinalise was here…

Sylphie’s disappeared.

When I woke up this morning, I found her room empty. Well, almost empty—she left behind the clothes and other gifts I bought her over the years.

Lilia ordered me to track her down right away. But I don’t know if I even have the right. Sylphie has every reason in the world to divorce me.

As I was sitting around trying to decide what to do, Zenith walked up and slapped me in the face. She didn’t say anything, just slapped me over and over again. I guess she was telling me to get my act together.

I decided to chase Sylphie down.

From what I found out by asking around town, it sounds like she left for the Kingdom of Asura with Ariel and her allies. There are still a few months until Ariel’s graduation. Why rush back now? I didn’t get a satisfactory answer, but I’m guessing something happened in Asura. I’ll have to move quickly myself.

I ran into Eris again.

Crazy girl started blathering about how she was going to give me “one last chance” or something. And when I inevitably brushed her off, she started punching me. I was getting pretty sick of her crap, so I knocked her away with magic. Then she drew her sword and came after me, so I ran for it.

What is her problem, anyway? She dumped me years ago!

Walked into a blizzard. Have to wait for it to die down.

Did Sylphie already make it past this area? I’m feeling more anxious by the day.

Today I made it to the Kingdom of Asura, but they stopped me at the border. Since I’m an enemy of the Millis Church, I’m apparently considered a wanted criminal in Asura as well. I had to make a run for it before they arrested me. I’ll need to find some way to sneak across the border.

Managed to make a deal with a local thieves’ guild. It’s a good thing organized crime is so pervasive around here.

Apparently, I’m something of a celebrity to the robbers of the world. I saw envy in the way they looked at me. Word got around about my theft of that incantation from the Holy Country, I guess.

I explained the situation, and they agreed to have a bandit named Triss accompany me across the border. She’s a pretty voluptuous woman. I’m worried Sylphie might get the wrong idea if she sees us together.

I made it inside the Kingdom of Asura.

The guild had me disguise myself with a mask and hood. As of today, my name is Ludo Ronouma. Conveniently enough, I’m suffering from a curse that will petrify me if anyone sees my face. This ‘Ronouma’ character is supposed to be a magician from Basherant who’s come to Asura for work, travelling with his cousin Triss as a guide. 

The guild really put some thought into all of this. I’ve got to hand it to them.

From what we’re hearing in the taverns, the king of Asura’s on his deathbed. Rumor also has it that the royal princes are fighting it out for the right to succeed him. That would explain why Ariel rushed back here ahead of schedule.

We’ll reach the capital soon.

Unfortunately, the only news we’re hearing about Ariel seems pretty dubious. People seem to think she’s gathering her forces to launch some kind of coup d’état. Nobody thinks she has any chance of pulling it off, though.

Ariel’s not stupid enough to start a fight she can’t win. It’s just a rumor.

We made it to Ars today. Triss spotted Eris in a tavern while gathering information. Did the girl follow me all this way?

No, that can’t be it. Asura was her homeland, right? We probably just ended up in the same city by coincidence.

Ariel’s gone underground, from the sound of things. And of course, Luke and Sylphie went with her. I’m not sure where to start looking for them.

We can’t find them.

Triss seems to think they already left the capital, but who knows where they headed?

The only thing that comes to mind is…well, maybe Ariel’s joining forces with Luke’s family or something. Tomorrow morning, I’ll suggest we head for the region ruled by the Notos Greyrats.

 We’ve made our way to the Milbotts Region, where Pilemon Notos Greyrat rules. On our way here, we heard a rumor that Ariel’s hiding out under the Notos family’s protection at the moment.

Now I have to figure out how I get to Sylphie. I feel like it might involve more breaking and entering.

For some reason, Eris was waiting for me when I tried to break into the Notos estate. She beat me up pretty good.

After they locked me in the basement, that Pilemon guy showed up and verbally abused me for a while. The man’s face looks a lot like Paul’s, but that’s where the resemblance ends.

He seemed to be under the impression that I’d come to seize control of the Notos family. After announcing that he’d execute me tomorrow and send my head to the Millis Church, he stalked out of the room. 

I managed to escape easily enough… but Ariel was nowhere to be found.

They’ve launched a coup in the capital. That rumor about Ariel fleeing to Milbotts was a load of crap. They were lurking somewhere in Ars, waiting for their moment to strike.

I don’t know if I’ll make it back in time.

We’re about a day from the capital now. People are saying that the coup ended in failure.

Ariel had recklessly attempted to simultaneously murder the first and second princes. But they were protected by two powerful swordmasters, the Water God and a North Emperor, who’d been brought to the capital as royal guests. The assassination ended in failure. Ariel’s forces were wiped out, and she herself had been captured. They’re saying she’s going to be executed soon. 

Her forces were “wiped out,” though?

Wiped out…completely?

What about Sylphie…?

…I can’t take this anymore.

Why is this happening? Where did everything go so wrong?

I’m going to write about what happened a few days ago.

The bodies of Ariel’s “co-conspirators” were on display in the royal palace’s execution grounds. Luke was among them. And so was Sylphie.

One of her arms had been cut off, and there was a huge laceration across her face. A small crowd of people were throwing stones at the corpses. They were throwing stones at Sylphie, and calling her a traitor to the kingdom. Whenever they hit the bodies, the crows that were pecking at their flesh flapped noisily into the air.

I couldn’t control myself. I burned their bodies with magic. And then I burned everyone who tried to stop me, too.

The hell with this country. They all deserve to burn.

I rose to my feet quickly. My heart pounded in my chest, and my head was spinning. Reading that had been incredibly painful. I didn’t want to continue.

Did I really have to read this thing? Was there really no other choice?

“Hurp…”

A wave of nausea washed over me. 

This was just some sick story that old man had made up, right? That had to be it. I didn’t want to believe a future like this was possible. It was too horrible to even consider…

“…”

No. I needed to read the whole thing. There was information in this book—valuable, crucial information. 

When I looked down at it again, however, I couldn’t bring myself to turn the page. The thought of continuing made me sick. What new horrors would be waiting for me in the next entry? I was literally queasy with dread.

“Okay, I… I need a break…”

Leaving the room on unsteady legs, I headed for the bathroom. And then I vomited into the toilet. 

Tears ran down my face. In some sense, I’d written that diary—and I could feel, with awful clarity, exactly what I’d felt as my world collapsed around me. I could feel my grief when Roxy died. I could feel my panic and hopelessness when Sylphie left me. And I could feel my devastating pain when I found Sylphie’s corpse.

“Bleeegh…”

I shoved my face into the toilet bowl and puked until there was nothing left to puke.

My stomach was completely empty now, but I had no appetite. I probably wasn’t going to manage to eat anything today.

After rinsing out my mouth with water, I left the bathroom. Sylphie was standing in the hall waiting for me with a worried look on her face. “R-Rudy? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

She was wearing her casual, everyday clothes. Her silver hair was loose around her shoulders. I found myself picturing her dead—her face scarred, her arm missing. Cold and lifeless. Hung out for the crows.

“Whoa! What is it?”

Without a word, I’d thrown my arms around her. Her body was as soft and warm as ever.

“Are you still thinking about that battle with Atofe?”

“…Yeah.”

“Really? Aw… There, there,” Sylphie murmured, stretching to pat me gently on the back. “You know, Rudy, I’m always available if you need a little comforting. I know you’re not half as strong as you look.”

I’m always available if you need a little comforting. My future self had ignored those words, and it had cost him dearly.

“Yeah… Sorry, Sylphie…”

“Oh, it’s okay.”

“You know, when I’m…really hurting, I might mess things up… I might say stupid, mean things, instead of crying on your shoulder…”

“Huh? What’s this, all of a sudden?”

“But please, don’t just disappear on me…”

 “Uhm… well, if that does happen, I think I’d get upset. I might say some harsh things too, so maybe we’d have a fight… but we can always make up, right?”

“Yeah. Of course. Of course we can…”

Sylphie’s so nice. How could I have ever betrayed a sweet little thing like her?

“Uhm, Rudy? Are you groping my backside?”

“…You want me to stop?”

“I mean, I guess it’s no big deal, but… Wah!”

Now that I’d received her permission, I picked Sylphie up in my arms and headed for the bedroom. I wasn’t planning to do anything too sexual. I just needed some private cuddling at the moment, honestly. It kind of felt like I’d…just gotten back something I’d lost forever, you know? Although I hadn’t really lost her yet, so…yeah. It wasn’t easy to explain, even to myself.

Reading that diary had put me in a sad and sentimental mood, I guess. Couldn’t hurt to avail myself of a little Sylphie therapy.

When Roxy came home from work, I couldn’t help following her around the house. When she settled down on the couch, I sat myself right next to her and started playing with the ends of her braids.

“What’s the matter, Rudy?”

It seemed my constant fidgeting had gotten to be too much for her.

“Uhm, well… I was hoping we could talk for a while.”

“Hm? We talk all the time, Rudy. Oh… is there something serious we need to discuss?”

“No, no. I just wanted a little, er, intimate time, you know?”

“Uhhh… all right then. But we’re not doing anything too physical tonight.”

“Sure. Yeah. I just want to, well, cuddle a little. If that’s okay with you.”

“That’s fine with me, Rudy.”

With that, Roxy sat back down on my lap and leaned back against me. Cupping one hand around her shoulder, I stared down at her face, now only inches from mine.

That was when I realized that I had no idea what I wanted to talk about.

“Uhm, so… how was your day?”

“Oh, it wasn’t too eventful, really. Some mischievous student did send the principal’s wig flying at one point, though.”

“Ooh. Too bad I missed that.”

“Let’s see, what else…”

Roxy had spent her whole day at work, and was clearly a bit worn out. Still, she took the time to humor me. We chatted about trivial things for a while, chuckling at each other’s jokes. I did end up groping her butt a little, which earned me a slap on the hand. But when I protested that I was just trying to cuddle, Roxy sighed and allowed me to continue.

Afterward, we headed into the bath together, where I washed her back and massaged her shoulders. Basically, I doted on her like a son buttering up his mother.

“You seem a little needy today, Rudy. Did something bad happen?”

“No, not at all. I was just thinking about how very glad I am to have you safe and sound, that’s all.”

“Is that so? Well, I did have a close scrape back in the Teleportation Labyrinth, I suppose. Feel free to confirm my ‘soundness’ to your heart’s content.”

The two of us were in the bathtub now. Once again, Roxy was seated on my lap. As I gently rubbed her slender shoulders, I dropped a question of my own as casually as I could. 

“How are you feeling, Roxy? You’re not under the weather or anything, right?”

I’d prevented her from catching Petrification Syndrome by eliminating that rodent. I was quite confident of that. But I wasn’t one hundred percent sure yet. There was a chance my future self had drawn the wrong conclusions, after all.

“What? I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

“Oh, I don’t know… I just really want you to live a nice long life, I guess.”

“Given the lifespan of my race, I’m quite likely to outlive you. I expect you to take good care of your health, mister.”

“You got it.”

When I spoke those words, Roxy’s face lit up with a big smile. From the looks of things, she really was just fine.

Sylphie and Roxy were still alive. Things weren’t going to turn out the way they did in that diary. I wasn’t going to let that happen. 

With that comforting thought fixed firmly in my mind, I finally felt ready to face the rest of those awful pages. It wouldn’t be easy. But it had to be done.