Safe! Hahaha, I'm safe! You hear me? I hate baseball! I'll never play that sport ever again. It's too scary!
Naturally escaping my disciple was a indication of a grand slam home run in my books! I couldn't help but feel that the whole concept was reverse from what it should be though.
Was everything actually some sort of sick twisted joke about baseball? Shouldn't a home run be the opposite of running away from the girl?
There's definitely something wrong with this world. It's all your fault little brother, heavens up above! I know it! You can't escape my eyes you sick fudge face!
Smite me down if I am wrong!
Nothing? For real? No. It can't be. Maybe he's just on vacation today. I was too afraid to ask again so I decided to keep my thoughts off of it for now.
What if everything I was doing was all mandated by the heavens? Maybe I was just a puppet of some sort in all of this and I was simply dancing in the palm of their hand.
Scary! That couldn't be possible, it's not like this is one of those stories in those novels I like to read. It definitely can't be that.
While I was distracted like this, I had managed to make it far enough away that my disciple was no longer in sight. I changed out of my robes and as soon as I finished changing my wife appeared by my side.
She didn't look happy in the slightest. Haaaah, I'm an idiot. How am I messing up our first date this badly? It already started off poorly and it is just getting worse as time goes by.
What's a poor sucker like me supposed to do at this point to turn things around? Well whatever, let's just enter the amusement park already. It's about time.
She was definitely dissatisfied and she didn't say anything to me since coming back. She gave me the silent treatment. It was only now I thought of something.
I pulled out my phone and opened the system shop. I bought chocolates and a guitar from the shop. I had absolutely no musical talent, I had no idea why I would even buy this stupid thing, but it was better than nothing right now.
I needed a miracle and I was grabbing at straws at this point.
I tapped on my wife's shoulder who hadn't bothered to spare a single glance in my direction since she returned.
She didn't bother to turn around. What am I supposed to do? I can't really give you chocolate if you won't even look my way, can I?
It looks like the only hope for a musically challenged person like me is this guitar. Yeah, that made a lot of sense right? Blame my flustered brain that does not know how to sooth his wife.
When I held it up into a position to play it, for some reason it felt really natural. I had never played a guitar before, but for some reason it felt like I knew how to play this one.
But that was as far as it went. Lyrics were another thing altogether. I'm definitely no song writer.
I could only start strumming out a melody. When my wife heard it, I saw her ears perk up a bit.
Seeing it was slightly effective my confidence in this idea increased ever so slightly.
I decided to just sing whatever came to my mind.
"My wife…"
"I'm no song writer…"
"I'm only a mu-si-cal-ly challenged man."
"If you laugh…"
"You lose…"
"So don't you dare laugh at your husbands gifted singing talent."
"I'm sorry…"
"What? You may ask me for…"
"Well to be honest, it's really quite simple."
"It's obviously for my tone deaf ears and off pitch voice."
"Pft hahaha. What the hell was that supposed to be? Were you trying to get me to drop my panties and push you down with that?"
"Naturally. What else would I use this guitar for if not that?"
"Are you still mad at me?"
"Yes."
I handed over chocolate to her and said, "how about now?"
"Are you bribing me?"
"Yes."
"Then I'm a little less mad now."
"Your cute when you get a bit jealous."
"Hmm? Am I? I'm curious what you'd look like when you're jealous."
"Please don't say that while you're stuffing your face with chocolate."
"Ah. My wife, you've got something on you cheek."
"Where?"
"Is it here?"
"No the other side."
"Not there, but there."
"Husband, get it for me."
Naturally I was waiting for that. I gave her the completely wrong directions just for this. I moved in close to her face and licked the bit of chocolate at the side of her lip.
"Husband… when did you get so cunning?"
"My wife, I've always been cunning. I even had the cunning idea to die once and guilt trip you into marrying me."
"I'll have you know it was really hard to hold my breath to the point where I died so I could ask you to take responsibility."
"Husband, don't try hiding the fact that you just forgot to breath."
Like this I managed to somehow placate my wife's anger. I'd say I managed that rather skillfully if I do say so myself. I actually felt a bit proud that I learned how to manage my wife a bit better. This date wasn't as big a failure as I thought.
Well this is still only the beginning.
I still need to figure out how we can spend the rest of our time on this date. We're at an amusement park after all.
We should at least go on a few rides, but would a normal amusement park really be able to entertain a god?
"Husband, husband, what is that?"
"Oh, it's a roller coaster. Do you want to go on that one first?"
When I saw my wife nod her head, I felt a bit uneasy for some reason.
My wife happily grabbed ahold of my hand and dragged me over to the ticket counter where we bought a pass to ride as much as we'd like.
Once we had a pass my wife hurriedly pulled me over to the line for the roller coaster. Strangely enough when everyone saw my wife in front of me they would part ways like a receding tide and let her move towards the front of the line. Is this the power of a beautiful woman? What's with this first class treatment? Wouldn't my wife be my mother's best friend if they went grocery shopping together?
"Wife, by any chance do you have a relative named Moses?"
"That little lower God? Related to me? Are you kidding me? If anything, I taught that kid back then how to part crowds like a knife through butter. Inexplicably, he became known for actually parting a sea instead of crowds for some strange reason. Maybe it got exaggerated over time and it turned into that stupid story."
My wife, please apologize to all the Judaists out there. You can't be poking fun at religion or we'll be in trouble you know. Do you know how scary an enraged religious person is?
They'll come knocking on your door with bloodshot eyes trying to sell you a bible. It's a terrifying thing you know. One time there was one who came knocking on my door at 9:00 PM. I'll have you know even the manly me was so scared that I almost peed my pants when I saw the black clothes he was wearing through the little peep hole of my door. At the time I thought it was the men in black coming to take me away.
"Wife, please don't make jokes like that. It's really not good for my heart."
My wife just looked back at me with a questioning look.
I decided to keep my silence as we were boarding the roller coaster.
It was a roller coaster specifically for couples. It was a small pod that could fit two people. The railing to the pod was up to our mid waist and we could see over the railing of the pod. We would be able to get a good view of the surrounding scenery while we were in motion.
The two of us were positioned inside such that we were facing each other directly. What's with this strange positioning? Shouldn't we be side by side?
It was naturally only later I realized the meaning behind it.
After we were buckled in by the staff they flicked a switch at the side and we were catapulted forward at extreme speed.
"Wahhhhh."
I could feel the air assaulting my face and entering my mouth as my cheeks were flapping about relentlessly in all sorts of forms. My cheeks were rippling like a drop of water landing on a still pond.
I looked towards my wife and it appeared like she wasn't affected at all by the overwhelming wind pressure. In fact it looked like she was having a ball when she was staring at my face. Is it fun to watch your husband make stupid faces? Is it really?
Why is this thing so damn fast anyways? I looked over the side of the pod and noticed there were no wheels. We were actually levitating. What the hell?! Magnetic levitation? Are you kidding me? Roller coaster technology has come this far?!
The pod was rotating in circles while being pushed along at an absurd speed. I thought we'd have a good view of the scenery. Bah, what scenery it all just looks like a blurry photo to me. I'm going to die! No, for real, I'm going to die! I don't want to die again! Little wife please don't ever ask me to ride this thing again!
It was at this very moment time seemed to stop for me. I looked out and saw a large gap in the track. No. You can't be for real. If I was with any other person I might not be as terrified, but this is my wife we're talking about. You're telling me there is a gap here?
Time started to move again and I screamed out at the top of my lungs, "wiiiifffeeeee, pleEeAaAse don't do anythiiiinnnng stupid." My voice was completely out of my control as we were spinning about at an absurd speed while the wind assaulted me. It was like the wind was a big bulky man that enjoyed raping my delicate little mouth.
I really didn't like the hidden sparkle filled with madness in my wife's eyes. It was like those eyes were screaming, "it's not enough."
"Wife, whaAaAt are you doOoing?!"
She swished her finger which resulted in the rotational speed to increase further as we were just about to be launched into the air and over the gap.
To my horror this sudden increase in rotation speed might have surpassed the limits of what the technology could handle and we were sent flying, completely overshooting the gap.
Who the hell built this thing?! How did it pass the safety check? This definitely should not be legal! They should have at least had us sign a life waiver form before boarding!
Then as if answering my prayers a gigantic parachute shot out from the centre of the rotating pod stopping our excessive momentum and bringing us to a stand still in mid air. Once the momentum was stopped we floated downwards slowly like we were riding a hot air balloon.
Hah. Hah. Hah. I'm gonna sue someone. I'm definitely going to sue. Don't play with our… my life like that!
My wife was laughing to the point of tears right now.
"Husband, you should have seen your face. It was too good. Brilliant, truly brilliant! I don't think I've seen so many different faces on you in such a short period of time since we met when compared to during this short ride. We should do it again."
"Never! I'll never ride this roller coaster with you again!"
"I mean, maybe another day we will, but not today."
When I saw my wife's saddened and hurt face I couldn't help but alter my words a bit.
My follow up made her let out a beautiful smile as she looked into my eyes while we were still slowly descending to the ground from up in the sky. For some reason I felt like her eyes were hiding the word, "sucker" in them, but that must be my imagination. I would definitely not let my imagination ruin the mood.
The sun was setting right now and it shone on my back and illuminated my wife's face. The sky was dyed a red hue right now and my heart was skipping a few beats at a time. At this moment, the bars that kept us in place rose up which allowed us to freely move about.
We just silently stared deeply into each other's eyes at this moment. Time felt like it had stopped for just the two of us. After a while like this, I got up and moved towards my wife who was still smiling at me. This may have been the most daring I had ever felt. I did find it hard to breath while looking at her so closely like this, but i had definitely improved compared to when we first met.
I moved my face right in front of hers and our eyes were locked onto each other with our noses almost touching.
My wife said softly as she squinted her eyes slightly provocatively and said, "husband, how long are you going to keep your wife waiting?"
With her words as the trigger I wrapped my left hand around her waist and placed my right hand on the side of her head and pushed forward to seal her lips.
I didn't realize it at this moment but we really were taking an abnormal length of time to descend. Perhaps my wife had something to do with that, but at this moment I couldn't be bothered to care.
We both let out heated and ragged breaths as a battle unfolded between our locked lips. My wife pushed forward sometimes while at other times she retreated and pulled my tongue along with hers. After a while I really started to feel my body that had heated up significantly; that little brother who had been tortured all day long had once again revived and stood strong like a mighty pillar that supported the world on it's back.
That poor little guy had been through his own shares of battles today. I really wanted to help him out. My heart beated uncontrollably at the thought of being out in public like this. The thought of the act that was about to be committed out in the open left me exhilarated. Just for the record, I am not a pervert. I'm just a man caught up in the moment at this point in time.
I couldn't stop the devil sealed in my right hand that slid down the left side of her face which landed on her left mountain that she had presently squished between the two of us. I gave it a few good gropes while a few seductive moans escaped her lips between the short gaps where there was a slight space between our lips.
Naturally those gaps did not last for long and they were quickly sealed up. When I opened my eyes, I could see my wife who returned my gaze with her heated half lidded eyes. It looked like she was actually really in the mood. Could I perhaps get lucky? Was this supposed to be like a yes pillow at night?
That thought only lasted for a moment before I shook it off. It's my wife after all. She isn't such an easy woman, to get to put out and go all the way is not a simple matter. She definitely derived more pleasure than anything from teasing me.
But I didn't want to just give up like that, so my soldier of a hand decided to venture to the undiscovered lands below. That devious devil that had possessed my right hand slipped under the exposed opening of her favorite blue one piece and crawled over her last line of defence into the secret garden that was hidden behind.
The garden had clearly just been watered judging by the moisture in the soil. That devious devil continued to dig about the soil like he would not be satisfied until he discovered the hidden hot spring buried deep beneath the ground.
Continuous noises were coming from above as our lips parted but the little devil below only ignored the cries from the skies above. He was possessed and was like a man on a mission.
When I looked into my wife's eyes there was a bit of blame in them, but she wasn't stopping me, so that devil just kept doing his own thing.
Naturally a certain little brother was left crying by himself after he was completely forgotten by everyone else.
He had suffered though much injustice today after all, it was reasonable for him to be left teary eyed after all of it. My wife who saw the poor guy by himself extended a hand to the crying child.
It seems she was quite the caring person as she stroked the head of that little brother of mine. Really that little brother of mine was so helpless. Whatever shall I do with you. I was only able to shake my head to show I understood his problems.
Who the hell am I trying to kid? His problems are my problems!
While one little brother was soothed by a certain goddess' hand and while a certain devil continued his adventure as he searched for hot springs; it was surprising, but simultaneously i was like it was mandated by the heavens. That devil found what he had looked for, while that little brother trembled uncontrollably at the same time and spasmed uncontrollably while in the goddess' embrace. He even lunged forward like he wished to embrace her back, but his feelings were left unrequited.
My wife was a bit cruel and merely placed her palm over the eyes of that little brother and let him cry out all the salty tears he had into them. When that little brother finally stopped crying, although a bit miffed he still showed a content face and quickly fell asleep shortly after letting everything out.
The devil on the other hand was left bathing in his victory in the hot springs he had discovered.
Seeing my cocky face after I had struck the jackpot and found those hot springs, my wife looked like she was a bit annoyed.
She lifted her hand which had the tears of that little brother and licked them all up before she swallowed them. She then gave a devious smile like an evil demon who feasted on the tears of little children.
"My wife… can you not be so evil? Don't you think feasting on the tears of children like my little brother is a bit much?"
She simply licked her lips and rolled her eyes when she heard my response. She did look pretty satisfied after those hot springs were discovered though, so I was also happy in the end.
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