Dark Walker - Chapter 3

Chapter 3

“Well, Tomoki? Do you believe me now?”
“Yeah...This is all a dream, right?” Tomoki grabbed Yuugo’s arm with an uneasy expression, as if he was searching for answers.

“If only it was as simple as a dream." Yuugo said, and picked Tomoki up in his arms. He spread his wings out and kicked off from the ground. With just a few flaps of his wings, they were high in the air. Jade and Kurou had grown small, and he saw them looking up towards them. Tomoki stared in amazement at the scenery below as he clutched onto Yuugo and they flew through the air. Sometimes there were large mountains and rivers, sometimes deep forests, and sometimes moonlit oceans. The scenery kept changing in a huge panorama.

Each time the scenery changed, it was like they broke through a thin membrane that separated each dream's landscape. "These are the dreams of holy people. There's no safer place than here. Isn't it beautiful?” Yuugo asked, and it seemed like he had wanted to show Tomoki this beautiful place that he had found. Apparently dreams that normal humans had were more abstract and dangerous.

“Is this the landscape of dreams you have at night?”

“Not always." Yuugo touched down on a green hill. In the middle ofthis beautiful scenery that almost looked like a watercolor painting, there was a small house with a red roof. There was a peaceful looking young man and woman sitting on the lawn in front of it. "There are things that don’t change, even if you’re not sleeping. This is someone's imagined existence."

Tomoki tried to walk towards them, but for some reason could never get near the house or the couple he could see.

“This place will be peaceful until these people die. It’s probably some kind of cherished memory they have together. It’s something very close to a supernatural power, but these people are probably living normally somewhere.”

Tomoki began to feel even more confused by this strange landscape.

This is the place people go when they sleep. And it's also the place where dreams are created. "We can fall down to the lower strata. It’s the place closest to the Underworld, called the ‘Depths of Dreams.'” They returned to the bleak landscape of the Depths of Dreams. When Tomoki looked up at the sky, it felt like they were inside of a dark dome. Thick clouds gathered in the dark sky, but here and there light would shine through. Sometimes a rainbow-colored membrane would appear, almost like an aurora in the sky. Above that were many bubbles that contained people’s dreams. Each had a different form, and several different-sized dreams crowded around.

They would burst and then disappear. Some were dreams that had just been bom. There were an infinite number of them, and sometimes they looked like they were glowing and overflowing.

"I'm pretty sure...it was a dream." Tomoki muttered to himself on the roof of the school building the next day. He and Yuugo had left during fourth period study hall and come up there. “Because I woke up in my own bed this morning.” Tomoki had indeed woken up in his own room, in his own bed, that morning.

“I sent you there. You remember us going to the Depths of Dreams, right?”

“I dunno...” Tomoki didn't want to admit it, and held his head. “I can’t remember!" He wanted to believe it was just a dream.

Yuugo gave up and shrugged. “You’re a lot more stubborn than you look.” He propped an elbow up on the fence and gazed out at the mountains in the distance. Clouds floated in the blue sky like white cotton. Underneath the dazzling sun, Tomoki couldn't help but think what happened in his dreams wasn’t real. "Do you think I'm a liar?”

"That's not it,” Tomoki said with a troubled look on his face.

Tomoki’s life had been completely ordinary up until this point. There had been nothing extraordinary about it. He felt that was the best kind of life. "Are you telling me to believe that I'm someone like you, Yuugo? That I can be completely conscious even when I'm dreaming and think clearly and move freely? And fight demons and stuff? It just sounds like the hero of a science fiction movie or something.”

“I’m not interested in heroes." Yuugo sighed. “I’ve been on the brink of death many times. I fought to survive. When we sleep, no matter what our intent, we fall to the Depths of Dreams. You should hurry and accept the truth and remember how to fight. There's no  guarantee that I’ll always be able to protect you.”

“What do you mean, ‘accept the truth?’ I've had a normal life until now. I can’t tight, and I don’t have wings like you. I never wanna go to that creepy place again!”

“What are the names of the cat and the crow?”

“Jade and Kurou?" Oh. crap! Yuugo had asked him so casually that Tomoki had answered automatically.

“See, you remember! They're not attached emotionally to me. but to you!"

“But...” He just wanted to believe he had a weird dream the night before that Yuugo had wings and there was a talking cat and crow!

“Then let’s fall again from a dark place in the school.”

“No, I’m afraid to fall!”

Yuugo grabbed his arm, and Tomoki clung to the fence, his face pale. “Tomoki.” He let go of Tomoki’s arm and then held him close. His chestnut-colored hair smelled sweet, and turned a golden color in the sunlight. "Even though we've made love so many times, when we met at the school entrance ceremony, after that you'd never wake up in the Depths of Dreams. I guess it's because you didn't remember me at all in Reality.” Tomoki became bright red at the soft sensation of Yuugo's hair brushing against his cheek. “You want so badly not to admit the truth, huh?"

"But...having sex...I’m a guy, you know,” Tomoki said with tears in his eyes. It wasn't as if he didn’t remember. But he had never even held hands with Yuugo in real life. He didn't think he was very feminine, and definitely didn’t think Yuugo could think he was attractive. “Don’t you have a girlfriend?”

"What are you talking about, all of a sudden?" Yuugo gaped. He felt dizzy. He had spent all this time trying to explain the circumstances to Tomoki, and he still didn’t understand. “Will you get with it, already? You’re my girlfriend!”

“What?!” Tomoki yelled out, his eyes wide.

“You’re so thickheaded!”

"Well, you just said it so suddenly and..."

Yuugo sighed at the flustered Tomoki. "I don't think it was that sudden at all, but okay..." He had tried his best since the entrance ceremony to get Tomoki to remember him. “Well, I guess that part of you is pretty cute,” Yuugo said shyly, scratching his head.

“Yuugo...” Tomoki whispered, still in disbelief.

Yuugo took his hands off the fence and held Tomoki in his arms. He looked at him and then pushed Tomoki down onto the floor of the roof. “Tomoki," Yuugo whispered into his ear.

Tomoki felt weak against the tenderness of Yuugo’s voice and the sensual way he was staring at him. They leaned against the fence, Yuugo holding him. He lightly kissed Tomoki several times, searchingly. He licked Tomoki’s lips with the tip of his tongue, and as Tomoki parted his lips to sigh, Yuugo thrust his noist tongue inside. “Mmm...” Tomoki sighed deeply. His pulse quickened, and his eyes became moist. Until then, he had only felt those kisses in his dreams. They lay down on the hard concrete, and he stroked Yuugo's back absentmindedly. “Yuugo...”

Between kisses, the bell rang. Tomoki’s eyes snapped open, and he looked around wildly. He saw the blue sky over Yuugo's shoulder. He heard the noisy chatter of students below them just as the bell for lunch rang. “Ahhh!” Just as he camc back to reality, Tomoki pushed Yuugo aside and sprang up. “What the hell was I doing?” He rushed to get down the stairs before the other kids who ate lunch on the roof came.

“No! I can't do this in Reality!" Tomoki smacked himself upside the head for letting himself get carried away. “Yuugo, we can't do this kind of thing at school!” Tomoki cautioned as they walked down the stairs.

“Yeah, I guess you're right. We won't be interrupted at my place.”

“That’s not what I mean! We can’t do it anywhere people can see!” He pointed.

“So I can do anything I want in the Depths of Dreams?” Yuugo asked, and Tomoki was at a loss for words. He still couldn't admit what had happened in the dreams. “As long as it’s not here in reality, it’s okay, right?” Yuugo asked, raising the comers of his lips happily.

I wonder if I'll go there when I fall asleep tonight. Tomoki wondered during class that afternoon, propping his head on his hands. He had made Yuugo promise they wouldn’t have sex in Reality, but he couldn’t take responsibility for what happened in dreams. It wasn't like he could avoid going to sleep, and even though he kept it a secret from Yuugo, he was fully conscious and remembered everything from his dreams.

That's why I trust myself even less...

“Where am I?” Tomoki looked around and blinked. He was still in his pajamas. A sweet fragrance drifted on the air in the white flower garden. The sky and the distant landscape was a pearl grey. There was no wind and the air seemed stagnant. Flower petals fell from the sky like snow.

“A safe place I found. It's someone else's dream, so it could disappear at any moment,” Yuugo said. His black wings stood out against the white landscape. Tomoki was sitting on the soft flowers. He looked up at Yuugo, who was wearing a jean jacket, jeans, and high-top sneakers. His wings were a strange contrast to his normal-looking attire, and he seemed out of place in this unrealistic landscape.

"Those are pretty wings," Tomoki said innocently. The glossy black wings looked good on Yuugo, and made him look very heroic. "Can I touch them? He pointed to them, and Yuugo smiled and nodded. He brought his wings a little closer, and Tomoki happily rubbed his cheek on them. They smelled like they had been out in the sun all day. He buried his face in their smoothness, and stroked them happily.

“Do you remember coming here, now?" Yuugo asked, smiling. Tomoki hugged his knees and shook his head. “I've been here a long time. As long as we don't fall in battle, we ‘Dark Walkers' can live in this world."

“Dark Walkers?”

“That’s what a samurai 1 met before called us. He bad powers that allowed him to come to this world consciously, too.” Yuugo folded up his wings and sat down next to Tomoki. “He was an old warrior from about four hundred years ago. He said it was the first time he had ever met one of his kind who had awoken so early.” The samurai had saved Yuugo just as he was about to be eaten and carried him to a safe place. He had been bitten on his shoulder down to the bone, but in a few days his flesh had regenerated. In the Depths of Dreams, injuries healed much faster than they did in the world above.

“Your body won't get weak if you don't eat in this world. You’ll never age and can continue living. The samurai said it was because of the nourishment in that water.”

“It looks like an ocean, doesn't it? And there’re all kinds of creatures that live really long in the ocean that haven't even been discovered yet. It’s unbelievably big."

“That’s right.”

"And wounds will heal here, and your body doesn't age? It’s like Heaven!”

"If you don’t get eaten by demons." Yuugo smiled and nodded at Tomoki's checrful outlook. But many kinds of demons also lived in this nourishing environment.

"Yuugo, did that samurai teach you how to fight against those demons?”

"Yeah. That’s why my weapon of choice has always been a katana.” The samurai was very skilled at swordsmanship and had defeated many demons. He had no ties to the world of reality, and wandered around this world like a pilgrim. Yuugo had been five years old when he had been saved by the samurai, and had become completely attached to the first “human" he had met. He had somehow become strong enough to defeat demons himself.

"It's a harsh existence. Monsters outnumber Dark Walkers.” the samurai had said after seeing Yuugo's body bruised and beaten by battle. Everything Yuugo had learned about fighting, he had learned from that skilled warrior. The samurai had taught him how to draw his sword, and had even named it for him.

"Sleeping Tremor! Jade Thunder!” The name of the sword was frightening to demons.

Since then, like an incantation, Yuugo would speak its name and make his sword appear. When Yuugo became a competent fighter, the samurai wandered off on another journey without him. Yuugo didn't know if he was living somewhere in this world, or if he was dead. It seemed like this w'orld had many strata that continued until Above Ground.

Even if a person with potential powers existed, there were very few among them who could enter the world of dreams with their bodies and consciousness intact. It was about the same probability of finding a jewel in the bottom of the ocean.

Sometimes they would see the faint silhouette of someone walking around. If they had come this far down, they probably had some powers, but they had no tangible body. If you touched one, your hand would go right through them, like an illusion. If you talked to them, they couldn't reply, and if demons gathered around and ate them, the worst that would happen to them would be that they woke up in Reality feeling sick.

It was much rarer to meet a “Dark Walker” who still had their flesh and blood intact.

“It’s so strange." Tomoki whispered, hugging his knees to his chest. “You survived because of the samurai, and I survived because you saved me?”

“Yeah. I’m glad I found you." Yuugo answered in a serious voice. “After my relatives died. I didn't have any ties to the real world. 1 was here all by myself and thought I had no reason to be human anymore. I didn't know when I would turn into a demon ... But now that I have you, I can still be human."

"Yuugo...”

“Now that I have you. I can still be 'Yuugo Oda.'” Yuugo embraced Tomoki and kissed his head. He looked at Tomoki with tears in his eyes.

I’m the one who found him. Tomoki was finally fully conscious and with Yuugo. He's finally mine...

Almost a year earlier, in the Depths of Dreams that humans rarely went to, Tomoki had sat absentmindedly by himself, dreaming. Apparently he had fallen, still wearing his pajamas, lie wasn't sure if that was the first time. He wasn't fully conscious, and there were all kinds of strange creatures around him. Tomoki stared at the demons almost as if they were butterflies dancing around the flower bed. The swarm of demons started licking him with their grotesquely long tongues.

They hadn’t caught any game for a very long time, and decided that they’d violate Tomoki's flesh before eating it. Tomoki’s white flesh was slippery with their saliva. He couldn't focus, and did not resist as the repulsive demons licked his erect desire, his hard nipples, his lips. He let out a small moan. Yuugo was stopped dead in his tracks by this immoral, obscene sight. Many hands spread both of Tomoki's legs apart, and the demons howled out in ecstasy. One giant demon with the head of a beast pushed his grotesque penis against Tomoki.

He's here in the flesh! Yuugo came back to himself as if he had just been punched in the face. If a sleeping human's consciousness hadn’t substantiated there, there was no way that many demons would have been gathered around him. He’s a Dark Walker, tike me. But how?! He felt amazed and angry at the same time.

The demons were literally tearing the boy’s body apart with their excited desires. They began to eat his flesh, stripping him down to the bone. There was no reason for them to let their trophy live. Yuugo took his sword that had materialized in one hand, spread his wings and flew into the demon’s feast.

He slew them all, then stood panting on the mountain of their corpses. His body was drenched in blood, which drew a sharp desire in him to kill more. In the middle of this terrible scene, Tomoki stared up at him. His naked white body sat in the middle of the bloodbath, but his eyes were still peaceful and dreamy. He had almost been the demons’ sacrificial lamb. Yuugo felt an intense hunger from the excitement of battle coupled with the memory of the boy’s body being raped by the demons. I fought to protect him...and I won. He belongs to me!

Yuugo stretched out his arms and held the boy's warm body tightly against his chest. The boy stared up at Yuugo with wet. brown eyes. His skin was smooth and soft. Yuugo felt so much desire it almost made him go numb. When Yuugo pushed his hard rod into him, Tomoki gave a silent scream. He cried and shook his head in pain, but Yuugo couldn't be any gentler.

Yuugo held the boy's shoulders down tightly and buried his desire in Tomoki. His hips pumped hard. As if by instinct, Yuugo thrust deep inside him with one stroke. His throbbing need pressed hard against Tomoki’s flesh. He was overcome by a dizzying sense of pleasure, and a beast-like scream came from his throat. Tomoki screamed and moaned in pain, but Yuugo couldn’t hear it. It was like he had given in to carnal desire, like he was consuming the spoils of war. As he thrust his tongue deep into Tomoki’s mouth. Yuugo pounded him harder. He didn't even realize it when Tomoki lost consciousness. He released his pleasure again and again inside Tomoki's warm body, which lay unmoving like a doll beneath him.

When Tomoki finally regained consciousness, he had looked up at Yuugo with red eyes. “It hurts,” he had said in a hoarse voice. "It hurts!” Tears gathered in the comers of his eyes and then quickly traveled down his face. Yuugo was entranced by the beauty of it. Every time Tomoki’s long eyelashes blinked, a large teardrop would fall. It was the first time Yuugo had ever seen someone his own age cry.

Before long, Tomoki had buried his face in his chest like a child who had been bullied.

“I’m sorry. I won’t hurt you again, so stop crying. I’m sorry, it’s all my fault,” Yuugo apologized, not knowing what to do. “I’ll be nice to you. I won’t be mean again.”

“You won’t hurt me?”Tomoki asked, sniffling. The tip of his cute nose had turned bright red.

“No, I won’t,” Yuugo promised, stroking his hair. Tomoki seemed relieved and closed his eyes. His eyelids had trembled when Yuugo kissed his lips gently and held him. After Tomoki had disappeared from his arms, Yuugo figured he had either woken up or fallen into a normal sleep. Next time. I’ll ask him his name. Yuugo smiled. He felt surprised at how natural the smile felt on his lips. He was content.

It was the first time he had touchcd someone else’s skin, and he was so moved by it that his body still trembled. He had thought normal humans wouldn't understand a Dark Walker like himself. He had given up on ever living with or loving someone.

After his grandmother died, Yuugo hadn't been to Reality for over a year; he felt like Tomoki was the only person left in his whole world.

"Tomoki.” He called out the name the boy had told him. He had come to see Yuugo every day, with the same earnest look in his eyes. When he made love to Tomoki, the wild excitement from battle was calmed. Sometimes Tomoki accepted him in his arms like a lover searching for another body. The feeling of his gasping body in his arms was so precious. Yuugo had protected him now for almost a whole year...

You don’t want to?” Yuugo asked, sighing. Tomoki was sitting in his lap, still wearing his pajamas. When Yuugo tried to kiss him. Tomoki had unconsciously pulled away.

“But...you promised you wouldn’t have sex with me," Tomoki said, turning red. He was definitely fully conscious. His body was real, down to the way he breathed and the way his skin smelled faintly of sweat.

“You’re dreaming right now.”

“I know, but...” Tomoki got goosebumps from the way Yuugo whispered into his ear. His voice was familiar, as was his heartbeat and the way he breathed. Tomoki felt his eyes getting moist, as he remembered "his” body from his dreams.

“If it’s a dream, it's okay, right?" Yuugo kissed him, and Tomoki felt the core of his body starting to grow warm. He didn’t want to admit it, but his body was responding to Yuugo.

This...is a dream. Tomoki whispered as an excuse when the last of his reason had disappeared.

“Ah...Yuugo...” He moaned as Yuugo playfully bit his earlobe.

Towards the end of May, Tomoki had started going to Yuugo’s condo often. Today was Friday, and starting tomorrow they had two days ofT from school. After parting with Yuugo at the park, he hurried home and changed. Tomoki brought his overnight bag and started to leave the house. His mother had given him some snacks, which made him happy.

Since the first time Yuugo had eaten dinner at their house, Tomoki s mother had become a huge fan of his smile. When she heard he lived alone, she gave Yuugo some leftovers in a plastic container.

Tomoki entered the pass code Yuugo had given him at the entrance of the building, then stepped inside. He had the spare key in his pocket. “I'm here!”

"Hey, Yuugo called as Tomoki came inside. He was wearing jeans and a T-shirt and was in the middle of assembling some furniture in the living room. He had even bought some power tools for the job. Tomoki put the plastic container in the fridge and started to wash some rice. They had bought a rice cooker the other day. Tomoki had asked his mother how to wash and prepare rice so he could show Yuugo. It almost felt like they were at camp. It was fun to populate the empty room with various things.

”Yuugo, the sofa's here, so let’s carry it over there." A young delivery man had brought the sofa, and they carried it into the living room. It was upholstered in soft, grey fabric, and was long enough to lie down on. Several more deliveries came, and they began discussing where each appliance or piece of furniture should go. There was a rug and a dining table for two. They set up the entertainment center in the comer and hooked up the TV and stereo.

They had gone shopping for the simple furniture together, but Yuugo didn't have any preferences so Tomoki had ended up picking out most of them. They made the largest room near the foyer the bedroom and moved the bed in there, and then concentrated on furnishing the living room. They had chosen high quality furniture, so it hadn't been cheap, but Tomoki hadn't used even half of the budget Yuugo had given him. It had turned into the ideal apartment. A potted plant next to the sofa would complete the look, but instead they went with a floor lamp. As Tomoki checked his notebook, he confirmed what deliveries would be coming that day. When Yuugo finishes assembling the computer desk, that should be the last one.

“It looks good, doesn't it?”

“Do you like it?”

“Yeah.” Yuugo was impressed as he looked around the finished room. Even though it was mostly decorated in grey, the room seemed warm. In the dining area there was the table and computer desk. A grey rug was spread out in the living room and the sofa was against the window. The TV was on the entertainment center across from it in the comer.

“Well, let's eat dinner." Tomoki was happy that Yuugo looked happy.

“Rice is a lot better than convenience store food."

Even though Tomoki’s mother usually did the cleaning, he had fun tidying up the brand new kitchen. After dinner he made some coffee, and set two cups on the table in front of the sofa. As they both sat on the sofa drinking coffee, they watched TV.

"You can really relax when you have a sofa, huh?" Tomoki said.

"Yeah, our living room at home was just tatami so I never had one.”

“What was your house like, Yuugo? Did you eat Japanese food all the time?"

“Yeah. The servants never fixed Western food. For desert it was always fruit or sweet bean jelly. The first time I went to a convenience store, I tried all kinds of stuff."

Many food commercials came on in between shows, and as they watched them they talked about the various things they liked. “Oh. those are so good!"

"Yeah, I like those, too... Is this what normal life is like?" Yuugo asked as he stretched out on the couch.

"Yep. Hey, what kind of person was your grandma? Did she know about your powers or about the Depths of Dreams?" Tomoki asked curiously.

Yuugo brushed his hair from his face. “It’s not that interesting.”

"But I want to know more about you,” Tomoki said seriously.

"Grandma called the Depths of Dreams ‘Hell.’ She pitied those who could go there with their bodies intact. My dad was a Dark Walker, too.”

“Your dad was, too?”

Yuugo spoke softly as they listened to the laughter on the television. "One day his body disappeared from reality. If you get hurt in the dream world, your real body is hurt, too. I heard that sometimes he came back bleeding and had to be taken to the hospital. If you get eaten in the Depths of Dreams, your dead body doesn't return to reality, just like my dad's."

“Did your mom know about this?"

“Mom thought it was just a regular missing person case. She was a very realistic woman" Yuugo sighed and propped his head against the back of the couch. When he had first fallen into the Depths of Dreams, he had been afraid that his body would disappear and clung to his mother. “Mum. save me!” But his mother had looked at him in horror and screamed. She pried his hands loose like she was trying to shake off something disgusting. Yuugo could never forget the look of fear on his mother’s face.

Her child had fallen into the underworld, still trying to clutch at her hands. He wanted to think her fear was instinctual, that she had been afraid he might drag her down, too. “Mom, I'm scared! Mooomm!!" He had kept calling out as he cried. Her back was pressed up against the wall, her hands over her ears. She kept shaking her head back and forth as if she were crazy. Ever since then, she would look at Yuugo with frightened eyes when he
came back. Even if he was bleeding, she would act like she didn’t notice. When he'd reach out his arms to her, she'd scream and smack his hands away.

So Yuugo didn't tell his mother anything about it. He was terrified of falling into the Depths of Dreams. He started to dislike his mother, who rarely even talked to him. “So after that, my mom remarried and brought me to my dad's mother's house. I'm sure she didn't want to live with a kid who disappeared and reappeared all the time. But my grandmother accepted me. She knew her own child, my dad, had also ‘fallen' before."

So that's why his grandma was so nice to him.

Before Yuugo’s grandmother died, she had apologized to him for not sending him to school and limiting his contact with the outside world. She had told him she did it so others wouldn't learn about his special abilities. She told him with tears in her eyes, “From now on, you’ll meet lots of people. Just keep a smile on your face. Humans won’t dislike or doubt those that always smile.”

After she died, Yuugo felt there was no worth to Reality anymore. He didn't have anyone he loved. Even though he had property and an inheritance, he didn't know anything about the outside world and had no interest in them. Until he met Tomoki. Yuugo really thought he would give up on Reality for good. He never thought he would be as happy as he was now.

“So I guess I’ve had a bit of bad luck."

“Not just a bit!" Tomoki said sorrowfully, with his fists clenched. “I can’t believe how cruel your mother is! It’s not like it was your fault! It’s not your fault you fell into the dream world!” He wiped the tears from his face.

“My mom is like a stranger to me now. so it's not a big deal.”

Tomoki held Yuugo’s strong body to his chest. “Your mom should have held you like this when you were little..." If one of Yuugo's parents had been able to understand him, he wouldn’t have been so scared. Tomoki wished he could have been there for him.

"Tomoki.” Yuugo smiled and softly touched Tomoki’s hair. He rubbed his warm cheek against Tomoki’s wet one. With their warm bodies against each other, it made him remember painful memories of the past even more.

Tomoki had had a happy childhood, so that’s why he had so much love and could be so kind. His smiles were genuine, unlike Yuugo's. Before they realized it, it had gotten so late that the credits rolled on the TV show they had been watching and the channel was signing off for the night. White noise filled the room.

“Tomoki,” Yuugo said quietly after a while. He turned the TV off with the remote control and looked at Tomoki, who had his face buried in Yuugo's chest.

“Hmm?” Tomoki’s face went bright red as Yuugo pulled him closer. Tomoki had been holding him to comfort him a little while ago, but at some point. Yuugo had become the one holding him. Tomoki had gotten so comfortable and relaxed with Yuugo stroking his back and his hair that he had dozed off. "I’m sorry. I...” He looked up at the clock and saw it had been almost two hours.

“It’s okay. You're cute when you’re asleep,” Yuugo said, smiling. A cheerful expression replaced the depressed one he had worn a while ago. "If you’re gonna sleep, let’s go to bed.”

“Okay,” he answered cheerfully, and then remembered something important. There was only one bed.

“It’s a double bed, so it should be okay, right?" Yuugo said, sensing Tomoki’s worry.

"Are you sure it’s okay?”

“It’s big, don’t worry about it.” Yuugo nodded exaggeratedly.

Tomoki said silently, "It’s you I’m worried about not the bed!”

He took a shower and then changed into his pajamas. Yuugo watched him as he dried his hair in front of the bathroom mirror with a blow-dryer. "Yuugo?” Tomoki motioned him closer. “This is how you use this." He leaned over and ran his fingers through Yuugo’s half-dried hair, blowing the warm air from the blow-dryer on it.

"I can tell from watching you!” Yuugo chuckled. "I'm not that stupid!" They both smiled at the same time.

“Things are gonna get rough from now on." Yuugo said as they lie in bed, looking up at the ceiling. The light from the lamp tinted the room a light orange.

“I know,” Tomoki nodded as he held onto the edge of the bed. “You saved me when I was in a dangerous place, right?”

“Yeah.” Yuugo’s low voice echoed in the quiet room.

"Hey," Tomoki turned towards Yuugo and said timidly. “I don’t remember it, but thanks.”

“Huh?” Yuugo brought his face closer, as it he hadn't heard Tomoki.

"I'm probably still alive because of you. I just wanted to thank you,” Tomoki explained, smiling. "I'm not one hundred percent convinced yet. but it looks like I go there every day whether I know it or not."

"Yeah. It would be best if you’d awaken soon." Yuugo held Tomoki close to him, but Tomoki tried to push him away.

“Y-You promised we wouldn't have sex in real life!"

Yuugo sighed exasperatedly.

“You drive me crazy...”

If he had accepted everything else, what was the difference if they did it in Reality or in dreams? When Yuugo forcibly held Tomoki and pressed his lips upon him, Tomoki would look down. When Yuugo tried to tilt his chin upwards, Tomoki would bury his face in the sheets.

“I don’t remember being lovers with you for a »hole year, yet,’’ his muffled voice said.

“Your body remembers,” Yuugo leaned over and whispered into his ear. Tomoki started to tremble. He felt his body start to grow hot and sweaty.

“I said no! If you’re gonna force me. I'm going home!” Tomoki yelled as Yuugo tried to unbutton his pants.

“Then just let me kiss you.”

“No! If you do. I'll go home!” Tomoki clutched the sheets, like a cat clawing desperately at a wall.

“Fine, I won’t do anything.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don't apologize!” Yuugo said in an irritated voice ans sighed. “You just won’t be honest with yourself!” He scratched his head and left for the bathroom.

Tomoki’s grip on the sheets relaxed, and he sighed. He hadn't had sex with another man in Reality yet. That was his last reason to resist. But he could feel his body responding to Yuugo’s touch. If he didn't have strong willpower, he would let Yuugo have his way. Since the line between dreams and reality was vague, he didn't want Yuugo to think he could do whatever he wanted with him.

Tomoki wasn't sure how he felt inside. He didn't know if he loved Yuugo because they had sex in their dreams, or if they had sex because he loved him. He couldn't remember that important thing.