Fourth Interlude
His song wasn’t for me.
The truth made me unbelievably sad, so I couldn’t bear to stay. Though I’d been looking forward to Natsu and Seri’s concert more than anyone else, I couldn’t even watch. I could hear Natsu’s voice—hear their performance—even while crouching on the rooftop. Everyone else was amped up, but here I was feeling like my heart was sinking to the depths of the sea.
All of my classmates had gone to see Natsu play. I’d told them I’d be there later, but I didn’t think I could act my usual self, so I’d ended up coming here. I’m so weak. Tears wouldn’t stop streaming down my cheeks.
I heard the roof door click and swing open. I knew who it was without needing to look up. That somebody sat down next to me without saying a word. We’d always been like this, ever since long ago. When I cried, when I felt depressed, Tatsu was the only one who would always find me and stay by my side.
“Don’t you wanna see the concert?” I managed to wring out.
He remained quiet for a while and then opened his mouth. “Forget about me. Just cry when you wanna cry.”
Because he said that, the tears that I’d managed to hold back began spilling out again. Sobs leaked from my throat. All the while, we could hear Natsu and the others play, the lyrics Natsu had written for Hikarin—a song that conveyed a cowardly boy’s love.
It’s a good song. Really. The best in the world. Why can’t I stop bawling when I’m listening to such a great song? Would I have been able to genuinely enjoy their concert if I hadn’t been in love with him? Well, if I hadn’t fallen in love, then I wouldn’t be able to resonate so much with this song. If that’s true...then I’m glad I experienced these emotions.
My love was unrequited... But even so, I’m glad I fell for you. I’m glad I could empathize with this song and see that it’s really good. I’m sorry, Natsu. I promised I’d watch from the front row. I wish I were a stronger person. I wanted to watch you onstage with a big smile. But I’m weak... You’re too dazzling for a weakling like me.
I can’t be like you.
I prayed for his happiness, trying to shake off any lingering attachments. I won’t be the one by your side, but I don’t care. I want to be able to root for you wholeheartedly.
The next time I talk to Natsu, I’ll tell him that with a smile on my face... But for now, let me stay like this for just a little longer.
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