Haibara’s Teenage New Game+ - Volume 4 - Chapter Pr

Prologue: My Hero

The first time I saw him during our school’s entrance ceremony, I thought he looked cool. He was tall and slender—the Ryomei uniform fit him well. He had a handsome face, and his styled hair gave a pleasant impression. Above all, I was drawn to his strikingly calm demeanor.

It turned out we were in the same class, and somehow we ended up in the same friend group as well. Honestly... He turned out to be different than I’d expected. There was a jarring difference between the times when he was calm and when he was being shifty, and his poser act was kind of irritating. I also didn’t like how he kept approaching me, and only me, aggressively.

He probably has a crush on me, I thought at some point, but I didn’t mind, so I treated him like everyone else. Gradually, my opinion of him changed. He looks like he can do anything, but maybe he’s actually a clumsy person. At that realization, I became more curious about him.

I was the school idol (in my self-imposed scenario), so I had no intention of getting a special someone. Still, I figured we could get close, but not so close that he’d confess to me. We chatted over RINE and then suddenly started talking over the phone... Over time, I naturally wanted to learn more about him.

It’s not love; it’s just curiosity. It’s intriguing how he’s good at studying and sports, and he’s got all sorts of hobbies, like cooking and singing. He can do all of that perfectly, and yet it’s odd how he’s awkward, thickheaded, and has low self-esteem.

Such suspicions were already going through my head, so when I saw him quarrel with Tatsuya on the roof, I wasn’t surprised. A sense of understanding washed over me instead.

His everyday behavior was a mask. In order to hide that he had changed himself during his high school debut, he had strained himself more than necessary. After we all found out he’d been putting up a front, Natsuki-kun became more relaxed around us. He wasn’t completely his natural self, but he became easier to approach. It was also a teeny bit cute how hard he’d worked to transform himself. From then on, I began to talk to him more.

Natsuki-kun seemed to enjoy listening to me ramble about novels, and he would even read my recommendations. I liked how he understood what I liked and that we shared the same taste in books. I was happy that I sympathized with what he would say, often piping up with, “I get what you mean!”

When Natsuki-kun invited me to the movies, I acted like I was hesitant to go on a date, and he quickly added that Miori-chan and Reita-kun were invited as well, as though he’d prepared the excuse. He must’ve cooked up a plan before asking me out. For a moment, his zeal made me waver, but Uta-chan flashed through my head. She had never stated it, but anyone could tell that she was in love with Natsuki-kun. I doubted she’d be pleased if he and I became closer.

I liked Uta-chan. When I was with her, her endless cheer always brightened up my day. It gave even a fake like me the energy to keep going on. I want to be friends with her forever. There’s a chance that romance could ruin our friendship, so I have to reject Natsuki-kun’s feelings.

Logically, I understood what I needed to do. But even with that understanding, as the day of our double date approached, a part of me felt excited. I was indecisive about what to wear, checking my outfit in the mirror multiple times, and before I knew it, I couldn’t deny that I was attracted to Natsuki-kun. But I still tried to suppress my feelings.

I distanced myself from him and devoted my time and energy to supporting Uta-chan when she was feeling down. I pretended not to notice the complicated emotions that had taken root inside of me. From a distance, I watched Natsuki-kun and Uta-chan get closer and closer. When I found out that they had gone to the Tanabata festival, just the two of them, one weekend in early July...I was shocked. A part of me was shaken. Somewhere in my heart, I had thought they wouldn’t get that close. I had thought Natsuki-kun would only have eyes for me forever. I’d be lying if I said that I hadn’t assumed he would reject Uta-chan.

I’m the worst. A terrible part of me felt a sense of superiority towards Uta-chan. But she’s obviously cute in anyone’s eyes. Any boy would be drawn to such an adorable girl blatantly displaying her affections for him.

The cold, hard truth finally hit me. I had been too slow to realize it. The mood between Natsuki-kun and Uta-chan practically made everyone want to scream, “Hurry up and date already!” At the time, I felt dejected, but also relieved. Things would be settled peacefully, and I wouldn’t need to fret about what to do any longer. This is the perfect opportunity to give up on him, I tried to tell myself. Yes, my affections had grown enough that I actually had to tell myself to let go. I tucked those feelings away, determined to support the two of them.

But then, one summer day, I reached out to Natsuki-kun for help when I was brooding about my family issues.

I had chosen to depend on him. Using the fact that I’d forgotten to pay for my bill at the café as an excuse to see him, in my weakness, I relied on Natsuki-kun. I knew if I did, someone as kind as him would help me. To my shame, I was so caught up in my own problems that I didn’t have the presence of mind to think about other things. Looking back, sleeping over at Natsuki-kun’s home was a crazy decision. And once my relationship with my father was smoothed out, I knew that my feelings for Natsuki-kun had grown so much that I couldn’t keep them in check any longer. On the day of our beach trip, my eyes kept unconsciously following him, which was very embarrassing for me.

Hoshimiya Hikari was in love with Haibara Natsuki. I was forced to admit it. He was my first love.

I want to spend time with him. I want to date him. I want him to hug me. The more such thoughts filled my mind, the heavier my heart became...because I was not the only one who loved Natsuki-kun.

Uta-chan was very observant of her surroundings. She’d likely realized that my feelings towards Natsuki-kun had changed.

Still, I declared to Natsuki-kun, “I’ve made up my mind. I won’t lose to Uta-chan,” because I’d decided that I would no longer lie about how I felt. I need to resolve myself so I can talk to Uta-chan.