THE HALF ELF’S HALF-LIFE
“Anna. Will you lend me your strength to help make our kingdom stronger?”
I still remember that person’s face, his hand as it reached out to me.
Master Schlain seems quite worried about me, but in actuality, I do not have many unpleasant memories of this village.
At least, not that I can remember.
My memories of my time here are vague, incomplete.
I imagine that my subconscious is trying its best to reject such painful memories.
And yet, strangely enough, I can still clearly recall the ideology of the race called elves.
The elves have a thoroughly warped outlook on the world.
To them, other races are vulgar and inferior.
This belief, which could essentially be called elf supremacy, is indoctrinated from a very young age.
Personally, I think it developed to cover up an inferiority complex.
The elves observe a strict monarchy, with Lord Potimas at the top as their chief.
From birth, elves are destined to devote their entire lives to serving Lord Potimas, working until the day they die.
Though it may be harsh to phrase it this way, they are essentially Lord Potimas’s slaves.
I believe that is why they look down on other races: to inflate their personal sense of social status.
I never realized this until after I left the elf village.
Elves are the supreme race. Serving Lord Potimas is the natural order of things. And half elves are meant to be oppressed.
While I lived here, I believed all these things without a shadow of a doubt.
It was simply common sense, as obvious as the law of gravity.
To the elves, it’s only natural to despise the other races, so having a child with someone of an inferior race is inconceivable.
Any child born of such a union is bound to be the target of hatred and disgust.
I was often subjected to nasty insults, and there were times when it came to physical violence, too.
Most likely, the only reason I wasn’t killed is that anything related to the elves, even a half elf like myself, is the property of Lord Potimas.
The other elves could not simply destroy their master’s property without his permission.
So while I was subjected to terrible abuse, I was allowed to live.
That was my life in the elf village, as far as I can tell from pieced-together fragments of my time here.
My parents are nowhere to be found in those memories.
As I have never met them, I had no way of knowing what circumstances led to the birth of a half elf like me.
Eventually, I was driven out of the elf village.
This was most likely Lord Potimas’s decision.
Every elf is the property of Lord Potimas, and their lives are at the mercy of his whims.
I was cast out, forced to wander aimlessly from place to place.
Until my exile, I was no different from a doll.
If the elves are slaves to their master, Lord Potimas, then I was even lower than that.
A living sandbag.
After I was driven out of the elf village, even I do not understand why I chose to continue living.
Why would a doll who had never felt happiness, who could not even recognize despair as anything but ordinary, try to live on her own?
It would almost have been more natural to simply do nothing and let myself starve to death.
But I did not die.
Instead, I found a reason to live.
The first person to grant me this was King Analeit of a few generations ago.
He heard of my magical prowess that I became known for during my wanderings, and he said he wanted to take me in.
This was the first time I had ever been wanted by anybody.
That may have been when my heart was truly born.
And so, I traveled to the Analeit Kingdom, where I have served devotedly ever since.
Sadly, the king who first summoned me passed away far too young. But on his deathbed, he entrusted me with the care of his son.
I will forever be thankful to the king who trusted an outsider like me. Never will I forget the pride I felt when I realized my service had earned such trust.
At that moment, I felt truly glad to have been able to serve him.
I made up my mind to remain loyal to the kingdom from then on.
Once I made that decision, I began to feel sorry for the race of elves.
From the moment they are born, it’s already been decided where their loyalties must lie.
They never have a chance to choose for themselves or to even question authority.
Yes, it’s exactly how I felt when I lived in the elf village.
Fortunately, I encountered someone who I could serve of my own free will.
Of that I was deeply proud.
However, my pride was later to be crushed.
When I was manipulated by Prince Hugo of the empire.
Master Schlain insists I am not to blame.
However, to cling to those kind words would only be running away from my guilt.
I must prove my worth to Master Schlain to atone for how I have troubled him.
And yet, I do nothing but hold him back.
Even my magical strength, which once was a source of confidence, pales in comparison to the strength of Master Schlain and his friends now that they have grown.
Instead of atoning, I am only inconveniencing him further.
Though I feel that things cannot be allowed to continue this way, there seems to be nothing I can do.
I cannot be of help in battle, and now even in everyday life, it is Master Schlain who looks out for me.
He knows that I was persecuted in the elf village because I am a half elf, making him even more concerned ever since we arrived here.
Even though he has much more important problems to concern himself with than the likes of me.
I have become a burden to Master Schlain.
This reality weighs heavily on me.
Perhaps I should have simply stayed in the kingdom?
I have thought this countless times, yet I still came along.
I cannot continue to hold back Master Schlain any longer.
I swear to be useful in the next battle, no matter what.
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