Mahou Shoujo Ikusei Keikaku - Volume 10 - Chapter 2

Top Speed’s Top Speed

“Anyway, just eat it. It’s good,” said Top Speed.

Ripple bit into the deep-fried meat patty. The bottom was soaked in the juices of the stewed veggies. Top Speed’s cooking always left something to be desired in the way of presentation, but it tasted great.

“Delicious, ain’t it?”

“…I guess.”

Hand on the back of her head, Top Speed looked embarrassed as she said, “Uh, well, that ain’t what I came to talk about here. Actually, I wanted to ask ya a favor.”

Ripple chewed her bite of meat patty, swallowed, and, once her mouth was empty, clicked her tongue.

“C’mon, man, whatcha clickin’ your tongue for?”

“…I’m annoyed.”

“Huh? About what?”

“This favor of yours won’t be anything good…”

“Hey now, it’s not gonna be a huge deal.”

“Like ‘Lend me money’ or something…”

“Well, it does involve money.”

“Knew it.”

“I’m not sayin’ you gotta lend me some!”

Ripple bit into the remainder of the patty. The part that hadn’t gotten soaked in the veggie juices was crisp, and quite satisfying to bite into. “So more like…‘Give me money’?” she asked Top Speed.

“That’s way too direct. And no.”

Ripple had never had anyone look to her for help, and that included when she was Kano Sazanami, her pretransformation self. Ripple knew she wasn’t the type to give advice, and she also felt like doling out advice was just a hassle, so she didn’t want to take requests in the first place. But right now, she was inclined to think she might as well hear this out. If Ripple agreed to help, she could get Top Speed in her debt. She didn’t have even the slightest urge to help Top Speed, but maybe she could get her to wipe that arrogant “I’m your elder” look off her face, and that was a major motivator.

“…So?” said Ripple.

“Huh? So what?”

“What do you want me to do…?”

“Ohh, you’ll hear me out? Thanks.” Top Speed folded her arms and with a worried expression on her face arched her back, pushing the tip of her witch hat into the fence behind her and smushing it over. “It’s about Magicaloid. You’ve seen her before in the chat, right, Ripple?”

Magicaloid 44. The robot-type magical girl. Or maybe she was a magical girl–type robot. The only thought Ripple had ever had about her was She’s weird, and she had assumed she’d never have anything to do with her, so Ripple didn’t know much about her.

However, if she admitted that, then Top Speed would respond with something like, “What? No point askin’ ya, then. Fine, I’ll try someone else,” which would make Ripple mad, so she decided to pretend to know Magicaloid 44. “So…what did she say…?” Ripple asked, trying to get more information out of Top Speed.

“She said she wanted me to buy an item from her that only I can use.”

“Huh…”

“And that I could only use it for one day, so to buy it fast.”

“Hmm… Then what do you want from me?”

“It’s not like I ain’t at all interested in Magicaloid’s item, but the problem is that it’s pricey. I ain’t rich.”

“Obviously…”

“Rude. Anyway, I ain’t rich, but I am a pushover—I mean, I’m weak to a hard sell. Whenever someone’s like, ‘Look how amazin’ this is!’ I’ll be like, ‘For real?!’ and just go and buy it without thinkin’, and that gets people mad at me. It’s happened a bunch of times.”

Ripple chose not to reply, “That’s because you’re dumb.” She was silent not out of consideration for Top Speed, but because saying that wouldn’t fix her problem.

“I’m worried ’bout that this time, too,” Top Speed went on. “So that’s where you come in, Ripple.”

“…What?”

“If it looks like I’m about to buy somethin’ expensive, you jump in somehow. You’re good at comin’ up with witty jabs and stuff, right?”

“Not really…”

“C’mon, just a while ago you—”

A voice interjected, “What are you talking about?”

Both girls turned around at the same time, then looked up at a forty-degree angle. A human-shaped robot was floating in the air, fire shooting from her backpack-shaped booster rockets. It was Magicaloid 44. She gradually descended, and the angle of Ripple’s and Top Speed’s gazes lowered along with her, and by the time she eventually landed, they were staring down. Magicaloid was shorter—or perhaps it would be more apt to call her a more compact model—than Top Speed, who was shorter than Ripple. Magicaloid was small enough that you’d take her for a preschooler, or an elementary schooler.

“Aw, hey,” said Top Speed. “We were just chattin’.”

“All right, as long as there is no problem.” The flames that spewed from her back boosters went out, and Magicaloid lifted her chin. She made eye contact with Ripple; that intense inorganic presence, that feeling like she wasn’t real, was overwhelming, but Ripple hated looking away, so she stared right back.

“We met in the chat, did we not? I am Magicaloid 44.”

“…Hi.”

Ripple was aware that her ninja motif was nonstandard, as magical-girl style went, and she regretted not having been more careful when making her avatar. But lately she’d come to think that ninjas were all right, and her initial dissatisfaction with the ninja motif had faded. But seeing Magicaloid now reminded her of how fixated she’d been on being properly magical girl–ish. Not a single thing about Magicaloid was magical girl–like—in fact, she didn’t even seem human.

When Ripple had seen her avatar in the chat, she’d figured she just seemed like that because it was a cartoon version, and she was actually probably doing robot cosplay. Actually seeing her in person made her realize Magicaloid was nothing other than a robot. She looked plasticky in texture, and her eyes faintly glowed red.

Magicaloid approached Ripple and knelt down to examine her feet intently. “I am impressed you can walk with those.”

It took Ripple a moment to realize Magicaloid was talking about the geta. Top Speed cut in: “If we’re talkin’ about bein’ more agile than ya look, you’re the more impressive one, Magicaloid.”

“True enough. That goes for the both of us.”

The two of them laughed. Magicaloid’s expression seemed to change, too, but Ripple couldn’t quite read the emotions there. Then Magicaloid suddenly stopped laughing, reaching into her side bag as she said, “Da-dadadaaa” like some sort of video game noise. Sitting on her hand was a sort of device Ripple had never seen before. It was cuboid, like a block of tofu in size and shape, with things like cables, cords, and narrow pipes sticking out of it.

“This is a performance-enhancement device for use with magic broomsticks,” said Magicaloid.

“That’s a pretty niche item, huh?” Top Speed said.

“It is because it is so niche that I have brought it to you.”

“Gotcha. Makes sense.” Top Speed folded her arms and nodded. “But that ain’t the problem.”

“Oh? Was there a problem?”

“I heard from Sister Nana. Your items are ten thousand yen each, and ya can only have ’em for a day, right? So right now, it’s eleven o’clock, and in one more hour, it’ll be over. And wait, I got a curfew, so it’s not even an hour, more like forty minutes, at most. Flushin’ away a ten-thousand-yen note just for the sake of forty minutes, no way.”

Magicaloid put her hand to her lips and lowered her voice. “But what if you think about it from another angle?”

“Whaddaya mean, another angle?”

“Despite being a single-use item for only forty minutes, it is ten thousand yen. In other words…” Magicaloid dropped her voice even further. “That is just how powerful it is. I believe you understand, Top Speed, that with motorcycles and cars, reducing your time by even a fraction of a second is incredibly expensive.”

“I see.” For some reason, even Top Speed was lowering her voice.

“A street racer cannot be frugal on this sort of expenditure for powering up her machine, even if it is only for forty minutes—especially for you, Top Speed, the fastest in N City.”

“You got a point…”

“Ahh, and this very moment, valuable time is flying by… Our forty minutes left has become thirty-five minutes.”

“Mmngh.”

Seeing Top Speed starting to lean forward, Ripple clicked her tongue hard and glared at Magicaloid. Magicaloid’s mouth twitched like she was flinching, and then she cleared her throat. That gesture was so human, it was really strange, given her appearance.

Top Speed looked over at Ripple, giving her a thumbs-up at an angle Magicaloid couldn’t see. “Yeah, that’s expensive. Real expensive. I ain’t buyin’.”

“Indeed,” Magicaloid replied, nodding. “Your view is very reasonable. So today I have a special offer: half price, at five thousand yen.”

“Seriously?! Half price, that’s a steal…”

Ripple clicked her tongue.

“Hmm? Uh, no, no! That’s still way expensive.”

“Then I can halve it again, at twenty-five hundred yen…”

“Ooh…!”

There came another click of Ripple’s tongue.

“Ahh, that’s still kinda…”

“…And in celebration of a full recovery from the college freshman blues, it is now one-fifth of that, priced at five hundred yen.”

With three clicks of her tongue, Ripple had brought the price down to one-twentieth.

Magicaloid probably thought that since this item could only exist for the day, it was better to throw it away dirt cheap than for it to be no use at all. This was the kind of deal where you could haggle all you wanted.

However, Top Speed clapped her hands in abject glee. “For real? Ninety-five percent off, that’s like a goin’-out-of-business sale.”

It seemed possible to get Magicaloid to slash the price even further, but this was still good enough. Ripple had made her lower the price to five hundred yen, so she could say she had fulfilled her duty here.

Ripple adjusted the sound inside her mouth, clicking her tongue at a higher pitch. Hearing that higher tongue click, Top Speed nodded and followed up with, “For five hundred yen, I’ll buy.”

“Were you two talking with tongue clicks?”

“You’re imaginin’ things. Anyway, this device won’t have some kinda malfunction, will it?”

“There is not even one single instance of anyone being dissatisfied with a Magicaloid-seal item.”

“Well, maybe that’s been true so far, but…”

“I am certain that will continue to always be the case.”

“All right, I trust ya, then. If ya lie, a thousand needles in your eye. Right, then, let’s get right to it.”

“Ohh, a fine decision. Well, then, I will install it immediately. Bring your Rapid Swallow over here.”

Magicaloid slid down underneath the Rapid Swallow. She split the tip of the floating broom in two, and there were some rattling sounds, and less than thirty seconds later, she got up again with a “Hup” and pushed the broom back in front of Top Speed. “It is complete.”

“Ya really are fast.”

“This is my business, after all.”

Did that mean this was how she was earning money to support herself? More than once, Ripple had figured it’d be nice if she could use her magical-girl abilities to make money, so she wanted to ask Magicaloid about that. But that the robot was putting her hand to her mouth to hide her smile made her seem sketchy, so Ripple merely stared at her in silence.

“Whoa!” Top Speed exclaimed. “It really does enhance performance!”

“Well, of course. It is a Magicaloid-seal item.”

“This is a lotta power. Pretty badass.”

Top Speed revved the engine, then spun once, twice in the air, then did a 360 flip forward. “The response is totally different!” she cheered, but Ripple’s eyes couldn’t tell what was different about Rapid Swallow compared to before.

“All right,” Top Speed said, “let’s take it for a spin right now. It’s boring just toolin’ around here.”

“Well, then, before your departure.” Magicaloid held out her right hand. “That will be five hundred yen.”

“Man, what a great purchase.” Top Speed took a five-hundred-yen coin from her coin purse and handed it over to Magicaloid, who dropped it into the cloth bag that hung off the side of her backpack.

“Thank you for your patronage. This, too, is a part of greater economic activity. Active circulation of cash is one form of contribution to society. So it is legitimate behavior for a magical girl, who is fundamentally about service, to so—”

“C’mon, Ripple, take a seat.”

Ripple was suspicious about the device, but if she refused, she’d probably waste time pointlessly arguing about whether she was going to get on the broom. Ripple had already resigned herself to putting up with this until the end of the day anyway, so she just clicked her tongue first before throwing one leg over the rear seat.

“And so will I,” said Magicaloid.

“Huh?”

“So that if there are any malfunctions on your flight, I can repair it. The five hundred yen is for insurance and a technician’s fee.”

“Uh-huh…so what’re ya after really?”

“I wanted to try riding this broom, just once.”

“Can’t ya fly on your own, Magicaloid?”

“Flying on your own and flying using a device are completely different. And most importantly, a magic broomstick is such a classic adventure item that any girl would want to try riding once in her life. I was a fan of Magical Smuggler Blood Raven, you know.”

Did a robot count as a girl?

“Guess I’ve got no choice,” Top Speed muttered, but this wasn’t as much trouble as she made it sound like. If anything, she seemed happy—probably because someone had complimented her broomstick. She hoisted Magicaloid up by the collar and sat her down in front of Ripple. Or rather, she squeezed her in.

Ripple clicked her tongue.

“What, Ripple?” said Top Speed.

“It’s cramped…”

“Just deal with it for a bit.”

“No need to be so hostile,” said Magicaloid. “Please, consider me a good-luck charm.”

“Shameless…”

“I am told that a lot.”

“You guys ready? Hold on tight.”

“Ready and willing.”

“Hmph.”

“All right, then we’re goin’ with the usual route!”

As if pulled by some invisible thread, the Rapid Swallow zipped upward without any resistance.

“Woo! This is dope!” The tone of Top Speed’s voice, the way her broom moved, and her legs extended straight ahead all indicated she was in a great mood.

By contrast, Ripple’s mood was plummeting. Hope this pointless flight ends soon, she thought as she clicked her tongue.

Regardless of whether Top Speed could hear Ripple’s tongue clicking, she somersaulted the broom in the air, then spun them like a drill, enjoying more acrobatics than usual. With a sigh, Ripple looked down upon the world below.

The ocean was dotted with the lights of fishing boats. The brightest part of the town was Calamity Mary’s Jounan district. Night never fell on that region. There were some lights twinkling in Nakajuku, too. The mountains were dim, lit only by the cars and streetlamps.

Noticing the lights of the world below shrinking, Ripple clicked her tongue. Even now, they were still rising. This meant Top Speed didn’t plan to land. Just how long would Ripple be forced to go along with her nonsense?

Ripple clicked her tongue. Top Speed didn’t notice.

Ripple clicked her tongue harder. Top Speed still didn’t notice.

“Let’s head back…,” Ripple said.

Top Speed did not turn around, ignoring her. Of course, this irked Ripple, and she reached out to lay her hand on Top Speed’s shoulder, but right before it touched, Top Speed yelled, “Awesome!”

Rapid Swallow zigzagged through the sky—right, then left. “Awesome! The speed! The power! The maneuverability! This reminds me of when I was in the gang!”

She sped up. Tearing through the clouds, the broom flew. The pressure increased, and for just an instant they even broke the sound barrier. Ripple clicked her tongue, and she grabbed Top Speed’s shoulder but was immediately shaken off.

“I can do it! I can go even harder! Forever! And ever!”

“Stop it… Top Speed…”

Rapid Swallow was shuddering and quaking, though Top Speed paid that no mind. Ripple was bewildered; she tried to put her hand on Top Speed’s shoulder but was knocked away with a smack. Top Speed was completely drunk on this experience.

Ripple heard a moaning voice from Magicaloid’s chest: “This is shaking pretty badly; is it always like this?”

“No…,” Ripple replied.

This was clearly faster than usual. And rougher. Rapid Swallow took a sudden dive, and Ripple clung to the broom handle, panicking. Below them was the river. Skimming over the river’s surface, they sliced into the water, sending up a tall spray in their wake.

Top Speed howled. With a twist, Rapid Swallow passed under a bridge, and Ripple felt a sensation like her innards were shifting inside her body, making her feel so sick she trembled. “I’m the freest of all!” Top Speed yelled, like a sad slave warrior fighting in a coliseum.

“Awwwriiight!” Top Speed yelled next, and she sped up her broom even harder. Not a single thing about this was all right. The broom was shaking in every direction. Ripple clenched her teeth, clinging to the broom handle with both hands—it was the most she could do to just not get thrown off.

“Huh, you are sure this is not how it always is? Really?” asked Magicaloid.

“Usually it’s more like…”

The broom snaked along the river until a culvert came into view. Ripple reflexively cringed, thinking, We’re going to crash!

But the broom slipped right into the culvert. Ripple suppressed her scream and hunched over, but Magicaloid didn’t hold back from wailing, “AHHHHH! This is dangerous!”

“It’s been dangerous for a while now…”

As they emerged from the culvert, not a moment after they came out under the light of the moon, right there was a cement-reinforced river wall. Rapid Swallow jumped up, shaving off a part of the embankment as it flew over.

Top Speed was not the sort of magical girl who would normally act so reckless. And normally, if Ripple ordered her to stop, then she would stop, more or less. After stopping, she would argue back, like, “Why do I gotta stop?” or “I don’t feel like there’s any real reason for me to stop,” or “Ya don’t trust my skills?” or whatever, but she’d never blatantly ignored what Ripple said and gone wild. Right now, Top Speed was clearly going off the rails.

“Hey, watch ou— Seriously, care—!”

“Ah, ngh, ah, keh—” Just trying to say anything almost made Ripple bite her tongue, but the sounds slipped out of her on their own. And then, because the broom was shaking too hard, she couldn’t make proper words.

“This—hey—wai—” Magicaloid tried to speak.

“M-M-Magica—loid—”

“Wh-whyyyyyyyyy?!”

A sudden acceleration made Ripple’s head feel like it would get snapped off. Ripple leaned so far forward that her chin touched the back of Magicaloid’s head, and somehow managed to hang on. The broom sped up and jetted through the air. It was fast enough that it stabilized so they could talk. Ripple said to Magicaloid, “L-let’s get out of here…”

“Pardon?”

“Let’s leave this idiot behind and fly away… I’ll grab on to you.”

“That is not happening.”

Rapid Swallow passed through a dip in the ground, sending a whole bunch of dirt and sand blasting up.

“Besides,” Magicaloid continued, “the broom is creating some shock waves here and there. And we have been breaking the sound barrier, occasionally. Over and over I have thought about getting off this thing, except it is too dangerous.”

“Well…”

“This is why I am telling you I cannot leave, even though I want to. Anyway, I am sitting in the middle here, am I not? If we fall somewhere, perhaps the two of you will be a cushion for me and will lessen the damage, ha-ha-ha!” Her laughter faded out at the end, finally becoming a sigh.

“Here goes!” Top Speed yelled.

Voice trembling, Magicaloid responded, “Here goes what?”

Top Speed said, “I’m aimin’ for a record!”

She didn’t wait for Magicaloid’s response. As they raced onward, Rapid Swallow rotated to slip between two trees. The trees were blasted to pieces and tossed skyward far behind them. Magicaloid lost her balance, lurching toward the right side, and then, when the inertia hit her, she lurched left. Her right hand left the broom handle, and she tried to take hold again only to miss the handle completely. Her left hand slipped, too, and her body floated in the air—

“Ngwaaaaaugh!” Abandoning her robot-speak, Magicaloid howled.

Lighting the flames of her booster rockets the instant of her fall, she changed direction, reaching out, and Ripple took firm hold of her hand. It felt plasticky, but the force of her grasp was that of a human. Ripple yanked her arm, and Magicaloid grabbed at the white puffball that hung from Ripple’s waist to pull herself up. Magicaloid latched on to Ripple’s waist, and it hurt like her innards were getting squeezed, but this wasn’t a situation where she could say to loosen her grip.

“AhmanahmanthatwascloseforrealwhatthehellIthoughtIwasgonnadie.”

“You’re talking weird…,” said Ripple.

“Ah, pardon me. I lost control for a moment.”

“Go, go, gooo!” Top Speed howled.

“The driver is letting go as well, huh?”

“Yeah…”

“Blaaaast offfff!”

“Blast what, exactly…?”

“Ripple, you’re her partner! Stop her somehooooow!”

“Watch out…!”

“Waaaaa-hoo!” Top Speed yelled out in a singsong voice, and the Rapid Swallow started pulling even more new moves. She stroked the surface of the mountains as she flew, on a trajectory so close to the trees and rocks that Ripple expected to crash at any moment, skimming the mountains. Even though they never made direct contact, just getting close to the ground shattered boulders and blasted up earth. Magicaloid clung to Ripple, and Ripple clenched Magicaloid’s arms, which were wrapped around her waist. Clasping those robot arms, she thought, Ahh. Out of nowhere, she suddenly understood. Top Speed had been hitting it so hard, Ripple had been late to notice, but this was a course Top Speed often took when she was cruising around on her broom. She’d taken a shortcut through that culvert, and she was using the mountains and doing some acrobatics and stuff, but she was not off the right course.

However, this behavior was definitely off. Rapid Swallow scattered dirt and sent it flying, and when mud got into Ripple’s mouth, she coughed, and her coughing made her body shake, which made Magicaloid yell, and as if acting in concord with Magicaloid’s yell, Top Speed howled, and Rapid Swallow sped up.

“Ripple, please, something, do something, please,” Magicaloid moaned.

“S-s-some-some-something?”

“J-just, d-do something, anything, anything at all! Yeep!”

What on earth could Ripple possibly manage when she was just clinging there? She tried to come up with some sort of plan, but she didn’t have the mental capacity even for that. She knew she had to do something, but all she could do was scream, “Top Speed! Stop! Stop, Top Speed!”

“Top Speed! Stop!” Magicaloid joined in.

“Fly eeeverywhere!!” Top Speed cried.

Top Speed flew in circles along the highway over the mountain like wrapping a coil around a stick, and Ripple couldn’t manage to say anything, while Magicaloid buried her face in Ripple’s back and shook wildly. When they bent at practically a right angle to come away from the highway, Ripple was finally able to take a breath.

The way they were flying, it wouldn’t be strange at all if they caused an accident at some point along the line.

“Listen! Stop! Seriously, stop!” Ripple yelled.

“Stop or die!” Magicaloid shrieked.

“Bad! Bad!”

“Die! Diiiiie!”

“WAAAAAHOOOOO!”

Rapid Swallow did a half flip, and once their reversed center of gravity had left Magicaloid hanging in midair, all her body weight was on Ripple’s torso. The forest below them was like an ocean, and the pointed tips of the trees looked like lines of spears.

“O-ow!”

“Agbbbbbbbf—”

“Gooo! Keep going! Forwaaard! Rapid Swalloooooooow!”

Rapid Swallow shook hard, doing another 180 flip to return gravity to where it had been before. Magicaloid wailed. Ripple screamed. But still, screaming wouldn’t resolve the situation. Rapid Swallow’s trajectory wavered, and a branch of one spear point was blasted away, disappearing behind them. Top Speed’s head rocked as if it had been flung back.

“Yeaaaaaaaaaaahh!”

“Whoaaaaaaaaaaa!”

“Gyaaaaaaaaaaagh!”

The angle of Rapid Swallow’s nose gradually dropped; Ripple screamed, Magicaloid cried, and Top Speed laughed. When the ocean came into view, the nose lifted, and right before they hit the water, Top Speed yanked the broom upward. A spray of water splashed over them, some of which got in Ripple’s mouth and nose, the harsh salt choking her. As she choked, she was getting strangled around the torso. She flailed, unable to breathe, and Magicaloid continued to flip out. The Rapid Swallow bounded high in the sky as Ripple desperately clung to the handle, and Magicaloid clung to Ripple. And then—Ripple raised her head.

Suddenly Rapid Swallow’s speed dropped.

For the broom’s riders, this stalling was akin to slamming on the brakes. Top Speed was tossed off the broom first, flying high in the air, and then Ripple’s hands came off the broom handle, her body following inertia to be flung away. Magicaloid, who had never let go of Ripple’s waist, tried to fire her boosters, but before she could, they fell into the ocean.

Ripple’s face burst out of the sea, and she spat out the water in her mouth. The last thing she remembered was the massive pillar of water Top Speed had caused. She floated on her back for a while, dazed, before eventually realizing that she had survived, and she clicked her tongue in relief. Looking over toward the sound of splashing, she saw Magicaloid clinging to Rapid Swallow. Top Speed was floating not too far off as well.

Eventually the three of them washed up on the shore and staggered to their feet.

Suddenly Top Speed pulled out her magical phone and checked the screen. She clenched her teeth and moaned, expression pained as she covered her face with one hand and turned it up to the sky.

“Damn it! I thought for sure I set a course record! But it didn’t get counted! And wait, I’m past curfew! Aw, man, I’m so gonna get it when I get home!”

Ripple pulled out her magical phone and checked the time display. It read 12:10 AM.

Magicaloid just barely managed to mutter, “The time limit for my items is midnight…,” and Ripple’s body went limp.

When it seemed like she would fall over, without missing a beat, Magicaloid lent her a shoulder. The ninja and robot looked at each other a moment, and then, without a word, embraced. Magicaloid’s shoulders shook, and Ripple gently stroked her magicalium-alloy back.

“Hey…what was my time for that course? I don’t really remember, but I think I shattered some records.” Top Speed was staring at Magicaloid and Ripple with an expression of mixed exhaustion and confusion. Her hat was limp and soggy with ocean water, its point crushed.

Ripple gave a little click of her tongue.