Mahou Shoujo Ikusei Keikaku - Volume 12 - Chapter 8

New Year’s and a Tortoise

Tepsekemei had become very busy ever since she started living with that one magical girl. The girl had remodeled the house in order to properly secure its defenses, and Tepsekemei followed along for the “work” that the magical girl said you couldn’t live without doing and helped. And on top of that, the things she normally had to do—like eating, drinking, searching, poking, biting, and hitting—weren’t going to go away, either.

And then even on top of that, there were lots of things she had to learn.

Through observing the places where people gathered, watching TV, and reading books, she learned words. She had learned from a book that a book is called a book, and she had learned from the television that a television is called a television. There was also something called a newspaper, but that was still too hard for Tepsekemei. If she kept on learning things, she would eventually be able to master a newspaper as well.

But never mind the newspaper. Right now, she was more concerned with how around her, close to the house, something was changing.

The television had been changing, too. Books didn’t change, but the places where humans gathered were changing. Tepsekemei had decided once or twice in the time between when the sun came out and then went away that she would float up over the house, and looking down from above, she could really tell. Over there, and over there, and over there, and over there, there were more decorations and lights, sparkling and shining. The people walking around in the distance somehow looked like they were enjoying themselves. They were doing that “smile” thing that Tepsekemei had a hard time with.

A repetition of the “morning,” when it became bright, and the “night,” when it darkened, was one day. After a repetition of many days, it got hot, then cold. The repetition of becoming hot and then cold was a year. After a repetition of many years, you died. That was a life. All this she had learned from a book.

These were things Tepsekemei hadn’t known, back when she’d had humans looking after her. It seemed that humans had cared for the tortoise Mei; they’d maintained a constant temperature in her enclosure, fed her, and kept things humid, all so that she wouldn’t die. That was why Tepsekemei was still alive now.

But Tepsekemei preferred now over the time when she’d been taken care of by humans. This was fun. She thought that might be just the reason she also had to do tough things. Tough things always followed fun things. So be careful, boys and girls. That was what the television had said.

The trees, grass, bugs, everything in the garden had lost its energy. That was because it was getting cold. But the places where humans gathered and the television were not losing energy. You could even say they had gotten more energetic. They started making lots of noise and put on lots of lights, and they looked like they had a lot of energy. Humans made it so that they could keep living even when it got cold or hot by changing their “clothes.” Since it had been getting cold, humans would put on more clothes to resist the cold. But they were not only resisting it. They were getting more and more energetic. Even if they were using clothing, it was a little strange.

Tepsekemei tried asking the magical girl she was living with, “Why?”

“Oh, that’s because Christmas is coming.”

“Christmas?”

“Santa Claus will come in a sleigh pulled by reindeer to give out presents.”

“Why?”

“Uh, why…? That’s the sort of event it is.”

“Anyone who gives you things without any strings attached is just trying to trick you.”

“That’s the one area where you’re weirdly clever…and hey, you know some pretty difficult words.”

“Anyone who claims they’ve got something real nice for you is a con artist.”

“Maybe you’re watching too much TV…”

“Pythie Frederica was like that, too.”

“Uh, well, you might be right… But hey, why can you actually remember the names of enemies, but you still won’t remember my name?”

“Santa Claus is a con artist.”

“No, he’s not. Umm… Oh yeah, there are strings attached, actually. Santa Claus only gives presents to good kids. He doesn’t give anything to naughty little boys and girls.”

“Good kids.”

“Yeah, good kids. This makes children try hard to be good and moves the world in a better direction. Look, you can tell that Santa Claus isn’t just giving out presents for nothing, right? He’s trying to use presents to make the world a better place. So it’s okay, he’s not a con artist. He’s a good guy.”

“Mei is a good kid, too.”

“You’re so sure, huh…?”

After the magical girl taught her about Santa Claus, there was a repetition of many nights and mornings, and then it was morning again. There was a boot full of candy placed beside Tepsekemei’s lamp, with a card that read, To Tepsekemei, a good kid, from Santa Claus.

Chocolate, caramel, candy. When Tepsekemei took off the sparkly wrappers, the inside was also sparkly and pretty.

Not only were they pretty, but when she tried putting them in her mouth, they were all delicious. When she sucked on them slowly, or bit into them and crunched on them, they were sweet.

As she ate the candies, Tepsekemei understood: Santa Claus was real. There was clearly someone who did exist and who was trying to control the children of the world, using presents as bait.

She had solved the mystery of Christmas. But the mysteries kept on coming. Even though Christmas had ended, the places where people gathered and the television did not lose their energy. In fact, she got the feeling that they were getting even livelier.

“Why?” Tepsekemei asked the magical girl.

“Oh, that’s because New Year’s Day is coming.”

“New Ear’s Day? Santa Claus?”

“No, Santa Claus isn’t coming.”

“So what’s coming?”

“What’s coming…? It’s hard to sum it all up. There’s lots of stuff, okay?”

Apparently, the magical girl was busy with some other kind of “work,” and she hardly explained things before returning to her room. Left all alone, Tepsekemei thought about New Ear’s Day. But the only thing she figured out was that there was no way she could understand with this explanation.

There were a number of ways to learn something. Read books. Watch television. Have the magical girl teach her. And one more: Have someone other than the magical girl teach her. The mage who came to the house only ever came occasionally, so Tepsekemei couldn’t count on her to explain things. There were lots of humans besides those two, so Tepsekemei thought that if she could get some human to teach her, that would be good.

The magical girl did not like it if Tepsekemei went outside as Tepsekemei. But Tepsekemei wanted to go outside in this form. When she talked about what she should do, the magical girl looked very distressed as she thought and thought and thought and thought and then came up with something.

Tepsekemei owned a board atop a stake that had WATCH OUT FOR PURSE SNATCHERS written on it. This was called a “sign.”

Her magical-girl roommate told her that if she carried this, it was okay if she looked a little different from ordinary people. She just shouldn’t fly or divide herself into clones or make herself bigger; carrying this as she walked around on her feet would suffice. Tepsekemei pulled that sign out from the bottom of the big treasure chest that contained her lamp, Christmas boot, and candy wrappers and brought it outside. She went to a place where there were lots of people. She just had to get people there to teach her about New Ear’s Day.

As she was using her legs for a while to walk, Tepsekemei noticed that a man was looking at her. She tried asking that man.

“New Year’s?” he said. “Sending out holiday cards to everyone is such a hassle, eh? So anyway, are there really purse snatchers around here?”

She tried asking a woman.

“My, how cute. New Year’s? Hmm, then shiruko soup? Ozoni soup? Oh, and if you’re talking about mochi, then there’s mochi pounding as well. And speaking of mochi, you have such soft, mochi-like skin. I envy you.”

She tried asking a child, too.

“For games, there’s hagoita rackets and blindfolded pin-the-nose-on-the-fukuwarai, and spinning tops and flying kites, I guess. But I don’t do that kind of stuff anymore. I’d rather get my New Year’s money. But right when I think I’m gonna get lots of cash, every single year, my parents take like half of it. It’s a total rip-off. They say they’re saving it for my future or whatever, but it’s pretty fishy.”

She tried asking someone older, too.

“I’m thinking I’ll go visit my local shrine for my first visit of the year. They say that’s the best place to make resolutions for the coming year, after all.”

She also tried asking male and female mates.

“How about the first dream of the new year? Get a sense of what my luck will be like for the year.”

“But before that, there’s our hime-hajime. Start your year off with a bang, if you know what I—”

“Hey! Agh, don’t say stuff like that!”

Tepsekemei acquired various kinds of information. She recorded each and every item with a notepad and pencil, and once the pencil lead got short, she used a wind blade to wear down the end and sharpen it. There really was more to be gained from investigating outside the house than inside.

There was too much information compared with Christmas. That was easier to understand, with Santa Claus and presents. This was confusing. It seemed that New Ear’s Day was more complicated than Christmas.

She had to know more. She had to learn more. Studying was important, in order to live among humans. It had said on the television that if she didn’t know anything, then she would be eaten alive. Tepsekemei considered using the television and books to deepen her understanding of New Ear’s Day even further, based on the information she had gained, but the humans changed faster than she could gather that information.

Back when Tepsekemei had not been Tepsekemei, moving slowly had never caused problems. Calmly and quietly, at her own pace, she had eaten her food, pooped, and gazed out of her tank. She’d also never been aware that outside the tank was outside the tank, or that she was getting food from humans, or even that she was herself, living a slow life.

But unlike air and food, humans would not necessarily keep to Tepsekemei’s pace. The humans’ territory changed faster than the tree leaves dried up and fell. The things lined up at “shops” changed. There were rows of white, hard things of two or three levels on top of each other. Red and white papers were combined to hang. There were faces and pretty things stuck to large weapons.

Not only the outside, but the inside changed as well. The magical girl seemed more busy than usual. “Let’s do a deep clean of the house for the new year.” “Let’s cook osechi.” It seemed it was all in preparation for handling New Ear’s Day. Tepsekemei helped the magical girl. She didn’t understand what she was doing now, but it was surely something that had to be done for New Ear’s. So she believed.

After that, the sun came out and disappeared over and over, and then, finally, it got cold. Outside, things were all fancy, and inside the television was even more fancy. Something was changing. Slowly, bit by bit. Upward, onward, rising, moving on, and then going even further, to the top. Or even higher? She could tell things were about to go to some great place.

During the time when there was no sun—once it was night—somewhere, something made noise. The magical girl said it was the joya-no-kane, and each stroke of that bell, apparently, would make all earthly temptations disappear. There would be one hundred and eight rings of the bell total. Humans do some incredible things, Tepsekemei thought while slurping on soba. She liked soba with lots of green onions.

“Is it New Ear’s Day yet?” she asked her magical-girl roommate.

“Right now, it’s New Year’s Eve. It’s not quite New Year’s Day.”

Humans inside the television had been making noise. Tepsekemei knew about this. What they were doing was singing and dancing. When something happy happened, or when something fun happened, humans would sing and dance. Were they happy and having fun because New Ear’s Day was coming?

After that, Tepsekemei and the magical girl repeated the exchange of “Is it New Ear’s Day now?” and “Not yet” many times, until, finally, it came.

“Is it New Ear’s Day now?”

“Yes, it is. Happy New Year. Now I’ll go make some ozoni.”

New Ear’s Day had arrived. For Christmas, Santa Claus had come. Just what would come for New Ear’s? Tepsekemei had not prepared at all for this. Didn’t she have to prepare somehow, just like she had to be a good kid, or she couldn’t get presents from Santa Claus?

“What’s a happy New Ear?”

“It’s a greeting. It’s the New Year’s version of ‘good morning’ or ‘hello.’”

“Happy New Ear.”

“Yes, same to you.”

It seemed that New Ear’s Day had come without Tepsekemei realizing it. What should she do? How should she handle it? She still hadn’t settled the matter. She was flipping through her notes, thinking about her New Ear’s strategies, when the mage came over.

“Happy New Year, Mana,” said the magical girl.

“Happy New Ear.”

“Yeah, likewise,” the mage replied. “Let’s have another good one.”

“Tepsekemei, bring Mana some tea.”

What came on New Ear’s Day was not Santa Claus but a mage. Tepsekemei brought tea to the mage sitting on the sofa and examined her face.

“Hmm? What is it?” the mage asked, considering a bit before her expression changed. Tepsekemei knew. She had researched human faces, times when they smiled in particular. That face wore a smirk.

“You want your money for the new year, huh? Ha, I got you one, of course. Be grateful.” The mage pulled a red paper envelope from her purse and handed it to Tepsekemei.

Tepsekemei remembered what she had written down on her notepad. There had been New Ear’s money there. So was what the mage was handing her right now that otoshidama? It seemed that she was safely managing New Ear’s Day, but she couldn’t let her guard down. Carelessness would lead to death. Tepsekemei mentally repeated what words came next.

It all started with: “New Year’s money.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Total rip-off.”

“Huh? Really? 7753 did that?”

“Saving for the future.”

“Ahhh, true, that’s important.”

It seemed she was smoothly managing this conversation. So this was correct, after all. With the certainty that by using the words in her notepad she could survive New Ear’s Day, Tepsekemei continued with “First shrine visit.”

“Hmm? Yeah, why not? Didn’t realize you were so devout.”

That didn’t feel quite right. She got the feeling that she hadn’t quite made the proper connections. “Mochi skin.”

“What?”

That wasn’t right.

“Fukuwarai.”

“What’s wrong?”

Nope. “First dream.”

“Where’s this coming from…?”

Not that, either. “Hime-hajime.”

“Huh? What? What the heck are you—?”

Sensible Tepsekemei noticed that the mage’s voice had gotten louder. This reaction was clearly different from when she had mentioned mochi skin, fukuwarai, and the first dream of the year.

In other words, this was the right word.

“Hime-hajime! Hime-hajime! Hime-hajime! Hime-hajime!”

“Don’t say it over and over!”

“You gotta do that for New Ear’s Day.”

“Wait, wait, wait, wait!”

“Do it.”

“What do you mean, ‘do it’?! Hey… You… S-stay back! 7753! 7753! Get over here and stop this girl! Whoa! Don’t do that! Hey!!”