Mahou Shoujo Ikusei Keikaku - Volume 17 - Chapter 1

The Way of the Archfiend

The Way of the Archfiend by Archfiend Pam, the strongest magical girl in history, was sold in e-book format only. Many books written by magical girls had been published before, but they’d all been print copies. This was the first one available digitally.

Editorial Office Eight, the section of the PR Department in charge of books, had pleaded with and pestered the higher-ups—“we have bookselling know-how,” “this should absolutely have a physical edition,” “it could become an even bigger hit than The Lady Puk Picture Book Series for Educating Good Children”—but that didn’t change the decision to sell The Way of the Archfiend exclusively as an e-book.

There were two reasons for this.

First, The Way of the Archfiend detailed various matters of the Magical Kingdom. Unlike educational picture books or magicalgirl anime fan books, this couldn’t be passed off as fiction. It needed a magic lock cast on it to keep outsiders from getting their hands on it, something that was easier to do with an e-book.

Second, an e-book was a convenient opportunity for the higher-ups to churn out some accomplishments for the newly created IT Department. And since this opinion came from the very higher-ups who had backed the establishment of the IT Department in the first place, the higher-ups basically profited from solving a problem they had generated themselves.

That was how the strongest magical girl’s debut work was transferred from the PR Department to the IT Department.

The book’s subject matter was wide-ranging, from the Archfiend Cram School’s origins and history to the mentality needed to become stronger, as well as recommended training methods, Pam’s tenure with the Department of Diplomacy, and so on and so forth. Though some criticized the book for being too broad and unfocused, it was generally well-received. Many people bought a copy: Archfiend Cram School students and graduates, Department of Diplomacy members, magical girls who didn’t attend the Cram School but wanted to get stronger, mages who liked new things, and mascot characters who loved magical girls. It was fair to call the book a smash hit if you took the market parameters into consideration. Everyone involved breathed sighs of relief.

The publishers weren’t the only ones who were relieved. Students and graduates alike of the Cram School were so fixated on the sales of the book that many alumni bought multiple copies out of concern that their beloved Archfiend Pam’s prestige would be damaged if her book was a flop.

Fortunately the book did sell, so no one was heartbroken, but a big problem emerged later on: Archfiend Pam herself didn’t have a copy of The Way of the Archfiend.

  Special Strategy Headquarters

The technologically incompetent author never picked up the e-book, so she didn’t even have her own work. It all started during some small talk during a meeting; the vice-department chief told this to her subordinates as a funny story, which then spread like wildfire until it had taken on a life of its own.

Archfiend Pam was truly terrible with technology. It supposedly took less than three days for the tone of the tale to turn to angry lament that this would inevitably hurt the prestige of the Department of Diplomacy, besmirching the plan of pure e-book sales and making them a laughingstock.

Department of Diplomacy management, unaware that they had caused this issue, were in fact impressed. At the same time, they knew they’d feel bad for Archfiend Pam if they let things go on like this.

The vice-department chief basically ordered a high-ranked staff member to “help out Archfiend Pam a little so that she can use the e-book, and if it’s no use, then oh well.” Unsure if this so-called order even counted as work, the staff member figured they could simply leave it to their subordinates. This turned into a game of hot potato where the next subordinate figured, If it’s about the Archfiend Cram School, then it’d be best to make the Cram School do it, and handed off the order to someone else.

Each time the job was passed down the line, the tone of the vice-department chief’s order gradually became more severe so that the next subordinate would take it a little more seriously. Once it reached the Department of Diplomacy staff member who was the most senior among the Archfiend Cram School alumni, she was told to “be ready to lay down your life for this task.” She became even more motivated, thinking she had been entrusted with a very important mission.

She was one of the members of the very first class of the Cram School, nicknamed the Seven Great Devils. They were not called the Devils because they were students of the Archfiend. They were called the Devils because they were like devils. She got together a whole bunch of magical girls who couldn’t say no to a summons from a scary senior. Unlike the Archfiend, who was fundamentally kind to her students, the Devils were just devils right to the very core. Opposing one meant death, a punishment worse than death, or fleeing capture for who knew how long.

And so the Archfiend Cram School students and graduates were forced to join in on this. But it wasn’t like they had no enthusiasm at all. No matter what the occasion, they still had respect for Archfiend Pam in their hearts.

“I mean, that’s just how old people are. Always bad with technology,” said a magical girl who was sprawled out on a sofa’s backrest, her fox tail swishing back and forth. The way she was talking made a number of people blanch. One person even got ready to take a swing at her, but Slaylie, Complaints Incarnated, cut in by clearing her throat at just the right moment.

“Calm down, people. It’s not like Amy being rude is anything new,” Slaylie urged.

Amy gave a forced shrug and shook her head. “Uh, it’s the truth, though. My grandma struggles just to use an old flip phone.”

“The Archfiend’s age has nothing to do with this,” said another girl.

“Wow, Monako, you’re turning on me, too?”

“I’m not,” Monako replied. “I’m just saying, does being old mean you break every single magical phone you get? That goes way beyond being tech illiterate or from a different generation.”

“Yeah, true.”

“I feel like the Archfiend’s built that way,” said Slaylie. “Which means there’s nothing to be done about it.”

“I don’t think we should leave it at that, pon.”

All present—dozens of Archfiend Cram School-related parties packed tightly into a fairly small wooden-floored room, standing and sitting and overlapping and huddling—turned to look toward the voice: the flickering black-and-white hologram that came from a magical phone on a glass table. The image did a spin in the air, then scattered yellow dust. All the while, nobody said a word, and the only sound that could be heard was Twin Dragons Panas frying veggies in the kitchen.

“An Archfiend Cram School graduate actually studied Archfiend Pam’s physical constitution, pon,” said Fishfire BC’s mascot character, Fai, causing the magical girls to murmur among themselves.

To them, Archfiend Pam was sacrosanct. Indignation and shock spread at the bold godlessness of a graduate of the School being so outrageous as to try to research Archfiend Pam.

“Who’s the insolent twit who pulled a thing like that?”

“Musician of the Forest, Cranberry, pon.”

Further murmuring followed. The Musician of the Forest, Cranberry, was the sole magical girl who had graduated by clearing the Cram School graduation condition to “land one hit on Archfiend Pam.”

“Where is she today?”

“She never comes to gatherings like this one.”

“Fav, that disgusting piece of trash who passes as her mascot character, left behind his observations of the Archfiend, pon. Look at this video, pon.”

“Filming without her consent! How nasty.”

“Can I get a copy?”

“Wow…she breaks every device she touches, without exception: PCs, smartphones, landlines.”

“That’s bizarre.”

“There’s clearly something strange going on here. Can you even call that ‘tech illiterate’?”

“There’s gotta be a cause to all this.”

“Like her wings emit special electromagnetic waves that damage machines…or something?”

“Seems plausible.”

“I dunno if it’s electromagnetic waves or what, but yeah, her wings might be the cause.”

“Maybe…her wings sense her avoidance of technology and activate her magic automatically?”

“Whoa, totally plausible. Her wings could definitely do that sort of thing.”

“So then, if we think up a way to block her wings and put it into an e-reader…”

“But we have to know what type of magic it is, or we can’t block it.”

“Electromagnetic waves, radiation, ultrasonic waves.”

“I think it might be her demonic fighting spirit or dark ether, that sort of thing.”

“That’s gotta be it. She’s an Archfiend; she should have that much.”

“It’s fair to assume that she’s emitting something from her wings.”

“Basically, if we know what’s coming out of those wings, then we’ll be able to do something about it, pon. We could consult a specialist if we acquire a piece of Archfiend Pam’s wings, pon.”

“Do you think she’ll actually give us a piece if we ask her?”

“She can be stubborn when it comes to technology.”

The conversation heated up until someone interrupted:

“Hey.”

Everyone looked toward the speaker at once—it was the beautician magical girl, Styler Mimi, leaning against the wall with her arms folded, seemingly in a bad mood.

“Keep your voices down. You’ll bother the neighbors.”

The magical girls had to obey her; this was her house, after all. They resumed their talk at a softer volume.

“So then, what? We get a piece of her wings by force?”

“People would die.”

“I mean…we’re doing this for the Archfiend’s sake. Putting my life on the line for her is all I ever wanted.”

“We’ll assemble a suicide squad. Go at her with ten elite members at once.”

“Let’s make that our last option—I’d rather take a different approach wherever possible.”

“What, you scared?”

“Of course I’m scared.”

“Let’s try getting help from the IT Department under the pretense that we’re developing a new e-reader.”

“I hear they’re super busy right now, though.”

“We just need to put everything into convincing them.”

“I think I’ll also look for help from the Archfiend’s friend Lady Proud in the Department of Diplomacy. She should know more things about the Archfiend that we aren’t aware of.”

“I’ve heard that she gets really morose if you bring up the Archfiend Cram School with her, though.”

“We just need to put everything into convincing her.”

“Let’s have the Magical Girl Management Department search for a magical girl who can erase particular magic.”

“Doesn’t Chief Ragi Something-or-Other hate magical girls, though?”

“We just need to put everything into convincing him.”

“All right, we’ve got a basic framework for our plan. Make sure to report, keep in contact, and consult headquarters frequently.”

As the magical girls’ conversation was heating up, one of them cut in with an “Um.” Everyone looked toward her at once. Styler Mimi had an imploring expression, both hands in front of her like she was grasping at something, her gaze sweeping over the magical girls from right to left. “Exactly where are you referring to as headquarters? You don’t mean here, do you?”

The magical girls turned back in the opposite direction and started discussing personnel configuration.

  Special Strategy Headquarters: One Month Later

The population density and discomfort index had drastically reduced compared to their first meeting, and now the headquarters, a.k.a. Styler Mimi’s house, was a comfortable space—or so one would think. But though there were fewer people, the air was leaden and somber.

There was currently a total of four magical girls in the living room. Styler Mimi, tap-tapping on her upper arm with her index finger, stood in the same position as before; Void Roar Flodite had her right arm hung in a cast as she sat on a rattan chair, looking up at nothing in particular on the ceiling; the Demon Swordmaster Alondia was curled up in the corner of the room in battered and scorched armor with her arms around her sword, which was broken clean in two; and Lake of Fire Flame Flamey stirred restlessly on the sofa, her whole body wrapped in bandages with just about no skin showing.

Nobody said a word. The only sounds were Twin Dragons Panas chopping green onions in the kitchen and Flamey’s bandages rustling.

Styler Mimi heaved a deliberate sigh. “So? Did it go well?”

“Yeah…it was a success,” said Flodite. “She has The Way of the Archfiend now, and she can read it at any time, so I think it’s fair to say that it went well…I think…”

Alondia struck the flat of her blade with her fist. “Can you honestly say that this went well?!”

“I have to, or I won’t be able to handle it!”

The two magical girls stood up, glared at each other, and eventually both averted their eyes at the same time, breathing deep sighs as they sat back down. Flamey mumbled something.

Styler Mimi snorted, making no effort to conceal her irritation and contempt. “Basically, you accomplished your goal, but there were a lot of sacrifices, right?”

“That’s…not wrong, yeah.” Flodite nodded weakly and then looked around. “Amy and Monako aren’t coming? They weren’t even wounded.”

“That’s exactly why they can’t come. You won’t get injured if you run away first thing.”

Alondia and Flodite were both heavily wounded, but it was fair to say that was far better than the magical girls who weren’t able to come.

The IT Department had been busy, but they had readily promised to help.

Since Lady Proud was a member of the Department of Diplomacy, which was basically the territory of the Archfiend Cram School originally, they’d thought that she wouldn’t refuse them, but contrary to their expectations, her reaction had been sour. So then, with the prior information from a member of the Department of Diplomacy that she liked children, all the youngest-looking graduates got together to lean on her and act sweet to make the request, and they somehow got her to agree.

Things went smoothly up to that point. Next was where the problems began.

They made progress with the IT Department and the Department of Diplomacy largely according to plan. So next, the group thronged into the Magical Girl Management Department to put everything into convincing them, and—as they discovered after the fact—this was mistaken as an attack from discontents, and they wound up fighting with the security homunculi.

Beam attacks had flashed and lightning had flown. A homunculus so giant it pierced the heavens had swung a fist and dug into the ground, and the rarely seen Archfiend Cram School fusion skill blasted away a group of hundreds of demons. The battle lasted a few hours, and famous and tough fighters broke their blades and their bones, running out of arrows and spirit as they fell to be snatched away by retrieval drones. But the magical girls didn’t give up until the very end. Their pride as the very strongest group of magical girls continued to support their bodies as they went past their limits.

The magical girls’ drop-out rate went over 50 percent, and aside from the Magical Girl Department building, the area two miles around them was leveled. But even so, the girls never let up in their attack. This generated great damage on both sides, and in the end, the Archfiend Cram School won. They took out the security team and moved on, thinking they could break into the Management Department now. However, the few magical girls who intruded on department grounds then vanished. They’d stepped on a trap and been expelled to a different dimension.

The more experienced fighters quickly understood that the Chief of the Management Department had completed a ritual and chant during the few hours of the fight. When something like that happened, magical girls couldn’t beat a mage.

The order for retreat came, and the magical girls immediately reversed course—running, or flying. That was when Marika Fukuroi, who had not been invited, burst onto the scene. The remaining fighters were beaten to a pulp. They had enough forces that in a straight fight ten of them could have restrained Marika, but not only were their forces halved by then, they had been caught by surprise when they were already exhausted from hours of combat. There was no way they were going to win.

And so the unit was destroyed. Ninety-five percent of them wound up in the hospital, 3 percent were scooped out of the other dimension and then continuously lectured by the Chief of the Management Department, and the remainder were either going around apologizing to all related parties or at the headquarters sighing.

And then, despite the destruction of their main force, the plan proceeded.

They convinced the Archfiend through Lady Proud, and with the cooperation of the chief of the IT Department, they did a study of the Archfiend’s physical constitution. As a result, it became clear that her wings did not emit electromagnetic waves, radiation, poisonous gas, wave motions, energy, prana, or aura—it was ultimately the Archfiend’s individual nature that was the problem. They did a number of tests and learned that damage to the devices was directly linked to errors in operation. So they reduced the device’s function and simplified operation, only to have it destroyed anyway. They strengthened it with magic, but it was still destroyed so thoroughly that even the self-repair function via nanomachines didn’t make it in time, and no methods of calming her down—voluntarily or by force—had any effect at all. The number of terminals destroyed by Archfiend Pam surpassed one thousand.

On the third day of testing, the IT Department Chief snapped. If it was no good no matter what they did, then why not do it like this, they figured—and they printed out the e-book and made it into a booklet, enabling Archfiend Pam to acquire The Way of the Archfiend. It was kind of mistaking the means for the end, but everyone involved was already mentally close to their limits—not just the IT Department Chief—and the Archfiend was satisfied, so they decided this was fine.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.”

Twin Dragons Panas, carrying a steaming bowl of ramen in one hand and a bowl of rice in the other, poked her head out into the living room through the beaded curtain. The scent of ramen broth wafted from the kitchen.

“Um,” said Mimi, “it stinks up the whole house when you make ramen in here, you know.”

“It’ll be fine. The flavoring in this one’s pretty light. Go on, eat before it gets cold.”

Some of the magical girls sighed and some continued to hang their heads as they accepted the ramen, rice bowls, and chopsticks, and they silently began to eat. The only sounds were the slurping of noodles and broth and the blowing on the hot noodles to cool them down. Panas nodded in satisfaction. Having taken on a logistics role, she didn’t go to the front lines; her body and costume were perfect and unmarked. And there was also no sense about her that this weighed on her mind, like, I feel bad for being the only one to be somewhere safe making ramen.

Panas held up the magical phone in her right hand and rapped on it with her left as if she was knocking on a door.

“I just got a message.”

“You did?”

“It’s from Haughty Hierarch Cyphil, who was at a Department of Diplomacy luncheon. Apparently, since The Way of the Archfiend sold well, they’re gonna publish another book. The Archfiend was talking about how she’ll try using a word processor this time, and Cyphil agreed that she should definitely do that—”

Alondia smashed the window and jumped out, Flodite followed without missing a beat, and Styler Mimi covered her head and screamed. Flamey tried to leap out after the other two, but the bandages on her legs made her stumble. She squirmed around on the carpet.

Panas lent a hand to pull her up. “Now then,” Panas said, “it seems that the Archfiend wants a word processor. What are you going to do?”

Flamey shook her head wildly and waved her hands in front of her face.

Panas looked deeply moved. “Flamey…,” she muttered. “You would still go on, even that badly wounded?”

Flamey tried waving her hands even harder, but then she let out a pained shriek and clutched her arm.

“That’s some incredible motivation when you’ve got bone fractures in the triple digits. You’re the paragon of the Archfiend Cram School.”

Panas laid a hand over Flamey’s and lifted them up. Flamey continued moaning in agony, and because of that, nobody heard Mimi whisper, “Please do this somewhere else…”