Mahou Shoujo Ikusei Keikaku - Volume 9 - Chapter 2

Hot to Tot About Music

Suddenly there came two sounds loud enough to make anyone want to plug their ears. The first was from the impact of a door violently banging open, and the second was the ricochet of the door against the wall.

She knew only one person who would walk in here like this.

“Heeey! It’s your lover, the cutie Tot Pop! Haven’t seen ya in forever!”

Her excitement was equal parts irritating and sickening.

This girl was committed to the punk-rocker aesthetic: dressed in a long-sleeved T-shirt matched with a rough-looking guitar, a skull motif, and a shiny lip piercing. She even had on a thick face of makeup, particularly for a magical girl, as if bragging, “Of course a star should be wearing stage makeup.”

“I know, okay… You don’t have to introduce yourself. I know your name well enough that it bugs me…”

“What’s wrong, Keeky? You seem down. As the senior student here, I’ll listen to your troubles.”

“What do you mean, senior student?”

“Ahhh, sorry. That was a Tot Pop secret, huh? Pretend you didn’t hear it.”

Damn it, she’s as incomprehensible as usual… And so obnoxious…

Keek spun her chair around and openly sighed at Tot Pop, but Tot Pop didn’t flinch; to her, it seemed only natural to just make herself at home. Without asking permission, she pulled up the folding chair that was off to the side and took a seat, leaning her guitar against the steel table.

“Listen,” said Keek. “I’m busy at the moment.”

“No worries, I’m totally free right now.”

“I don’t care. Go off and spend that free time by yourself.”

“Don’t be so mean. Once I’m done with what I came for, I’ll be gone super quick.”

Keek tried to push up her glasses with her right hand, but the sleeve of her white lab coat was too long, so her fingers never emerged from the sleeve. “Give me a break, seriously… You always ramble on and on about one thing or another whenever you open your mouth…”

“I can’t help that. It’s ’cause I have so much fun when I chat with you, Keeky.”

Keek was choked into silence. She cleared her throat a few times to cover it. This was no good. She couldn’t accept Tot Pop’s charm. This was how the girl always got her way.

“Aw, Keeky, your cheeks are all red!”

“Huh? No way—You’re kidding?!”

“Yep, I’m kiddin’! Yaaay, gotcha!”

“You…seriously…aghhh!” Keek jumped to her feet, knocking back her chair, which rolled into the corner, kicking up some dust in its wake.

Shoulders trembling, and actually red-faced this time, Keek glared at Tot Pop. On the other hand, Tot Pop handled being glared at like it was water off a duck’s back; she was totally composed. In fact, she was even smiling.

Seeing her smile like that made Keek weaken. She tried to sit down, but there was no chair.

“Good grief, you’re… You’re seriously just…”

“Seriously just?”

“It’s fine, whatever. What’re you here for?”

“Do you know any important people from the management division?”

“No.”

“Then do you know people who know people?”

“I guess I do know some, but…”

“Introduce me.”

“What?”

“Help me out here, pretty pleeeease!”

Keek did have a few important acquaintances. After all, Keek herself counted as a fairly important person. Still, she’d already given up on getting Top Pop to treat her as such.

She could introduce Tot Pop to someone who knew someone who knew someone high up in the management division. And the division’s top brass hated the more infamous magical girls, didn’t they? In that case, Keek might be able to get one of the higher-ups to rebuke Tot Pop for her. Maybe then Tot Pop would feel a little remorseful about her actions.

“Fine, I’ll tell you. You better be grateful.”

“Thaaaanks! Love ya, Keeky! Smooches!”

“You’re so annoying! Stop that! Don’t get your drool on me!”

The room was all black except for the various multicolored mandala-like magic sigils shining within. In that room sat an old man and a girl facing each other.

The old man was reclining in a leather-upholstered chair, glaring at the girl in intense displeasure. Between his floor-length robe, long white beard, and knobby, overstated staff, all symbols indicated that he was a mage.

The girl had a chunky-looking guitar lying on her lap. Her style was aggressive, with a shirt and pants that made lavish use of studs and belts and a hair decoration in the shape of a bear trap. It seemed more appropriate to call her a musician or guitarist than a magical girl. In contrast to the deep wrinkles in the old man’s brow, she had an excessively broad grin on her face extending from ear to ear, as if something about this was amusing to her.

The old man clicked his tongue like he wanted her to hear it. “I came to this meeting because I heard this was an introduction from Master Osk… I didn’t imagine it would be with a magical girl.”

His voice was low and mumbly. The way he was muttering, it almost felt like he was talking to himself. “I can’t stand you magical girls.”

“Sheesh, there you go again.”

“I’ve been driven into this position all because of you people and the barbarians you’ve created. I would even say I despise your lot…” He didn’t react to the girl’s comment. He was looking more and more like he was talking to himself. “Normally, you wouldn’t even be allowed access to this room. You’re a mere magical girl—grown arrogant, getting the mistaken idea that you’ve become a mage. Just who do you think you are?”

The old man pointed to the room’s entrance with his staff, the tip of which was trembling—not out of fear but with anger and old age. The old man’s voice got lower and lower, becoming increasingly difficult to hear. “Get out. I have nothing more to say to you.”

“Come on, now. I’m sure we’ve got something to talk about.”

The girl put her hands up, smiling all the while, not a trace of fear or anger on her face.

Thirty minutes later…

“So I told them—even if we could temporarily benefit from such improper means, it would damage our trust. And that, I believe, is what the Magical Kingdom should fear most.”

“Whoaaa! That must’ve taken some serious courage, huh?”

“But in the world we live in, it’s not always the righteous who are victorious. They used their position to gradually undermine my allies, and at our final meeting, I was surrounded by only enemies.”

“For real?! That sucks!”

“As a result, I was driven from my leadership position, chased away to the boondocks of the magical-girl management division, and now I have nothing to do with researching enhanced magic…”

“But there’s been some good things, too, huh?”

“What good things could there possibly be?”

“You got to meet cute li’l Tot Pop, didn’t ya?”

“…Hmph, foolishness.” The old man bent over, leaning on his staff. He knew perfectly well that he wasn’t as surly as he sounded. “Which reminds me—why was it you’ve come here?”

“To get you to tell me Magical Daisy’s current address.”

The old man cast a brief spell and gave his staff a little wave. A slip of paper popped out of thin air and fluttered down, and the girl shot her hand out to catch it.

“Her address is written here. Take this.”

“Great!”

“Hmph. Don’t get the wrong idea. I only told you because you went through the proper procedures.”

“Thanks, dude! I owe ya one!”

The girl vanished from the room, and the old man stretched out his back and knees and leaned into his chair.

It was true that she’d gone through the proper procedures. But still, he’d never meant to speak with a magical girl of all people. The old man couldn’t stand them. He looked down on them as the lowest of creatures.

So then why had he continued to talk with her? It had been a completely unnecessary idle conversation. And after having enjoyed his first inconsequential chitchat in a long time, mysteriously, he’d come to figure it was okay to tell her the address. His hatred and discriminatory attitude toward magical girls had faded.

He didn’t think she’d cast any magic on him. So then why had his feelings changed so much in such a short period of time? He didn’t understand it. The old man stroked his beard under the illumination of the magic sigils.

When Kiku Yakumo got back home, there was a magical-girl visitor there.

“Hiya! Nice to meetcha! The good-for-nothin’ magical girl named Tot Pop has arrived!”

“Huh? Um, huh? Wh-what?”

When a hand extended toward her, Kiku absently returned the handshake. She was confused. Of course she was confused. She’d gone to class at the university, then transported a bunch of super-heavy packages of dried food at her part-time factory job, then just barely made it to the public bath right before closing to wash off her sweat before finally transforming into a magical girl to protect the local public order—specifically, pick up garbage around the children’s park.

After coming home completely exhausted, she’d figured now she’d collapse into her futon and sleep, but then for some reason, the door to her shabby apartment had been unlocked. I couldn’t have left without locking it…but then again, do I even have anything in here worth stealing? she wondered, and when she opened the door, sitting on her knees on the tatami rug with her guitar beside her was what looked like a member of some punk band.

Of course this would confuse Kiku.

“Huh? A magical girl? How did you get in here?”

“I got the management division to tell me your address.”

“No, that’s not what I mean. The door was locked, wasn’t it?”

“I talked to the landlady, and she had no problem opening it for me. I didn’t do anything violent, so don’t worry.”

“Don’t worry? Don’t be ridi—”

“So you’re Magical Daisy, right?”

“Oh, yes.”

Kiku closed the door behind her and transformed. In her right hand was her magic rod; at her waist, a flower decoration; and with a skirt that fell ten inches above the knee, the girl who’d once been made into an anime—

“Oooh! It’s really Magical Daisy! That’s crazy! And hey, that rhymes!”

The girl took Daisy’s hand and shook it hard up and down. Daisy smiled softly even though she was aware this girl was letting herself get swept away by her excitement. They said there was a tax for fame. Get made into an anime, and you got fans. If you had a lot of fans, then you’d get that many more weirdos among them, too. Anyway, it should probably be okay to just give her an autograph or take a photo together and then quickly send her home.

“So then, um…Tot Pop, was it? What did you come here for today?”

Tot Pop released Daisy’s hand and then fell prostrate on the tatami. She moved so smoothly that Daisy couldn’t stop her, and despite the girl’s quirky mannerisms, she might actually be pure Japanese. If she wasn’t, then would she be capable of doing such a fine kowtow on the floor?

“Please! I want you to join up with me to start a band!”

“…Huh?”

Still prostrating herself on the floor, Tot Pop lifted her head. There was an imprint from the tatami on her forehead, and her cheeks were flushed. “Just the other day, I was blessed with the opportunity to see the Magical Daisy DVDs.”

“Oh, thanks.”

“The opening theme knocked me out! I couldn’t believe there was such an amazing theme song! A revolutionary anime song! Miracle! Logical! And together with Magical Daisy, its creator, I’ll definitely be able to make a wonderful song! I’m sure of it!”

Magical Daisy put a hand to the back of her head awkwardly and looked down at Tot Pop apologetically. “I wasn’t the one who made the opening theme, though.”

“Huh? For real?”

“Yes, for real.”

“Then I’d like you to introduce me to who did.”

“It’s not like that’s under my discretion… Please try asking the management division one more time.”

“If I go back to the Magical Kingdom to have them look into things again, then I’ll definitely tick that old man off, no doubt about it.”

“Still, I can’t…”

Thirty minutes later…

“And then the deadly Daisy Beam!”

“So cool! You’re the best, Daisy!”

“Oh, but though I call it deadly, I don’t aim it at people, you know!”

“You’re so kind, Daisy! Such a humanitarian! The modern Mother Teresa!”

“And so I somehow resolved the incident.”

“Man, that’s surprising. I never woulda imagined there was secrets like that behind the scenes of episode seventeen of Magical Daisy.”

“It’s not such a big deal I’d call it secrets behind the scenes, though.” Magical Daisy wiped her forehead with the back of her hand. In the tiny apartment, she’d even acted out some events for her story, so she was sweating now. If the neighbors hadn’t been out, they certainly would have been banging on the walls.

With Tot Pop applauding her, Magical Daisy was enveloped by a comfortable sense of exhaustion when she suddenly remembered. “Oh yeah, so why did you come here again, Tot Pop?”

“I want you to tell me who made the opening theme for Magical Daisy.”

Now she remembered having talked about something like that. She’d gotten so into the story, she’d forgotten.

She looked at Tot Pop, sitting properly on her knees on the tatami. Her eyes were sparkling bright under the cheap fluorescent lighting. And it wasn’t just her appearance that was bright—she didn’t seem like a bad person anyway.

If she’s not a bad person, then why not?

Magical Daisy ripped a page out of her university notebook and wrote a number on it. “Please don’t ask them for anything too unreasonable.”

“Whoo! Thanks! You’re the best, Daisy! Love ya!”

The moment Tot Pop got the paper, she dashed out the door like a gale. Daisy closed the door and smiled a little. Palette would surely also be surprised by Tot Pop’s sudden visit. As she went to contact Palette about Tot Pop’s impending arrival, she figured she’d try giving them a call for the first time in a while, too.

“So then why have you come here?”

“Well, uh, I’ve been going around from place to place, and now I’m here,” the magical girl Tot Pop said as she began to count on one hand, sticking out one finger after another. She was probably trying to sound perfectly logical.

“First, at the management division, I asked for Daisy’s address and went to her place. Then I went to see her mascot, Palette, who Daisy introduced me to. But Palette told me the melody had been outsourced to a mascot friend who seemed like he could compose something. And the one it had been outsourced to was a digital fairy mascot named Fav, who I figured had to be some kinda Vocaloid-like songstress-ish thing, but he said no, too. He said he asked a magical girl named Musician of the Forest, Cranberry, to compose the song.”

“And now you’re here.” The girl struck the heel of her boot on the floor. They were in an abandoned building with no one else aside from the two magical girls, so the sound was particularly resonant.

Cranberry could clearly see why Fav had sent this character to her. The digital fairy would manage projects that he liked but would avoid hassles with extreme prejudice.

“So I’m sure Fav told me the one who composed the opening theme of Magical Daisy was Cranberry, Musician of the Forest. He said that although it was made to say that he did it, he just put his name on it, and he made you do all the work.”

Cranberry smirked, and the rose on her shoulder swayed. Golden pollen scattered, then disappeared. “I did indeed undertake such a job.”

“Ohhh! That’s great! So they don’t call you the musician for nothing!”

Looking out the window, Cranberry saw snow dotting the landscape. The tops of the tall cedars were faintly white. The endless woods of cedar would be covered in a blanket of snowfall before long.

She wasn’t fond of noisy guests. There was no one but the two of them in this abandoned building in the middle of the chilly wilderness. Cranberry started to think it would be faster to silence her using the violent methods she was so good at but immediately reconsidered. If this girl had come all the way from the management division, then her disappearance would be rather conspicuous.

In other words, though it was regrettable, there was nothing for it but to have a discussion with her to make her say good-bye.

Although this sort of thing is supposed to be Fav’s job.

Cranberry looked away from the window. Concealing her inner thoughts, never letting her bright smile crumble, she turned back to Tot Pop, slightly daunted by the look on the girl’s face, like her heart was swelling with anticipation.

Thirty minutes later…

“Oh-ho. I didn’t know such magical girls existed.”

“My master’s a scout, so I’ve got lots of stories of weird magical girls.”

“Speaking of which, I once turned a whole family into magical girls.”

“Wow, that’s amazing! How’d that go?”

Another thirty minutes later…

“I was told it would be no overstatement to say she had perfected a sort of long-distance type.”

“But then doesn’t that mean a jack-of-all-trades is even better, in the end?”

“It seems they came to the conclusion that when evaluating based on the assumption that they will operate as a team, you should look at more than just individual capability. My thoughts on the matter differ somewhat, however.”

“So what d’you mean by that, basically?”

One hour later…

“So then in theory, that versatility results in omnipotence.”

“Whaaat? I’m not totally convinced.”

“What part isn’t convincing?”

“I mean, fighting that would be super boring, right?”

“Yes, that’s exactly it. So in short, what we’re seeking—”

“Hold on there, pon.”

It wasn’t that her magical phone had spoken. It was the black-and-white sphere that had emerged from its screen—Fav, the digital fairy. Cranberry had known Fav for a long time, so she could tell if Fav was in a good or bad mood from his synthetic voice. And right now, Fav was in a bad mood.

“What’s wrong, Fav? Is there some kind of problem?” asked Cranberry.

“How long are you going to be chatting, pon?”

“This isn’t something you could designate a particular length to.”

“Yeah, yeah!” Tot Pop agreed. “The more wrapped up in talking you get, the more time you need, right?”

“It really is hopeless when women talk on and on, pon…”

Changing subjects from one thing to the next, since each and every one of those topics had been deeply interesting, Cranberry had gotten lost in the conversation. If the time displayed on her magical phone now was correct, then two hours had passed since their chat began.

Despite that disparagement about women talking on or whatnot, Cranberry was not the type to enjoy small talk. She preferred to get up and move. Yet, without even realizing it, she’d been pulled into this conversation. The girl had led the discussion in a direction pleasing to Cranberry while also being very knowledgeable on the topic herself.

“Then there’s no helping it, is there?” said Cranberry.

“There’s no helping what, pon?”

“Yep, yep. No helping it, no way no how.”

“You be quiet for a minute, pon. Come on, hurry up and get out your magical phone.” The red light flashed, and Fav swiftly completed the data transfer. “Cranberry’s busy, so she can’t be in a band or do musical activities, pon. I’ve transferred to you information about magical girls who seem like they could join you in whatever it is you want to do, so go visit them instead, pon.”

“But I think it’d be nice to make music with Miss Cranberry here.”

“What a pest, pon! I’m telling you to get lost already, pon!”

While watching the two quarreling out of the corner of her eye, Cranberry touched her finger to her chin and tried imagining herself singing and dancing with Tot Pop. She thought that wouldn’t be so bad—which came as a total surprise to her.

When having a secret talk, naturally, people lower their voices. The place was a run-down apartment on the outskirts of S City, and inside were members of an antiestablishment group. They were discussing robbing a bank in order to acquire funds and such, so their voices got even lower and quieter.

“We steal the money, then run immediately.”

“That’s simple and easy to get, huh?”

“Do we use a car?”

“We’re magical girls, so it’d be best to run, right?”

In the small apartment scattered with personal effects, the four magical girls leaned their foreheads close around a small wooden table to converse quietly. These girls were going for the outlaw feel of an antiestablishment faction, but since they were all wearing magical-girl costumes, they didn’t quite nail the execution. Neither did the environment—the slab of squared lumber leaning against the wall and the helmet hanging off it seemed weirdly out of place.

But the one thing fitting with their intended outlaw vibe was the gas masks they all wore. It made it difficult to talk and hard to hear, and the room wasn’t furnished with anything appropriate for a confidential discussion, but an antiestablishment faction would value atmosphere the most.

“We know there’s a connection between that bank and the Magical Kingdom, right?”

“Of course we do. I’ve done all the proper research.”

“It’s nice that this isn’t just about getting us funds, huh?”

“So then about how exactly we’re gonna do this…”

Right when they were about to get deeper into things, the door buzzer rang. All eyes shifted to the monitor on the wall of the room to see a girl standing there. At a glance, she looked like a punk rocker or something with the guitar she was holding.

“…Who’s that?”

“A magical girl, right?”

“Is she someone you guys know?”

“I dunno her.”

“Maybe the Magical Kingdom sent over an investigator…or something?”

“Or an assassin to finish us off.”

All of them went dead silent, gazing at the screen. With no idea that she was suspected of being an assassin or an investigator, the girl on the screen was smiling peacefully.

The girls in gas masks turned to one another.

“Suspicious…”

“Sketchy, huh.”

“Shouldn’t we turn tail, for now?”

“Everyone who agrees—”

Suddenly there came two sounds loud enough to make anyone want to plug their ears. The first was from the impact of a door violently banging open, and the second was the ricochet of the door against the wall from being opened with such violent methods.

Panicking and going into fighting stances, they all faced the girl who stood there, holding up her guitar.

“Hiii! I’m everyone’s friend, the cutie Tot Pop! Let’s make a band together! Hey!”

Thirty minutes later…

Tot Pop, standing on the bed, thrust a fist up in the air, and the four girls in gas masks followed suit.

“We’re gonna make this a success! Bank robbery! Revolution for the Magical Kingdom!”

“Whoo!”

“We’re gonna do this!”

“I’ll follow you anywhere, Boss!”

“Hooray for Tot Pop! Glory to the resistance!”