CHAPTER 4
Circling Emotions
Evening was setting in. Upon receiving word that Kiyoka had returned, Miyo rushed to the entryway.
“Welcome back.”
“I’m home.”
She greeted him with the best smile she could. Kiyoka looked relieved, grinning back broadly and gently placing his hand on Miyo’s head.
However, she couldn’t help being startled by the chill of his palm.
“Kiyoka, your hand is very cold.”
“Oh… Sorry. Does it bother you?”
“No, um, it’s not that.”
Miyo softly wrapped both her hands around Kiyoka’s as he tried to pull it away.
“…I’m worried.”
Kiyoka might not have realized it himself, but he had a very grim look on his face. His body seemed to be chilled to the bone, too, and Miyo wondered just how far he had pushed himself.
“There’s still some time until dinner. Let’s get you to a warm room to relax.”
Kiyoka’s eyes widened as Miyo ardently spoke, making sure that she absolutely got her way.
“…Uncharacteristically pushy, aren’t we?”
“Huh?”
Was she really being that assertive? She did admit, though, that in this instance, she refused to give any ground on the issue.
As she reflected, Miyo then realized she had grabbed Kiyoka’s hand herself.
“Wh-what am I…”
She acted so audaciously without even thinking about it. The self-awareness made her embarrassed, and her cheeks grew hot.
“I-I’m s-sorry!”
It was Miyo’s turn to retract her hands back in a panic. While she knew that Kiyoka wouldn’t get angry at something trivial like this, she still apologized immediately, unable to bear the situation.
To make everything worse, she could hear Kiyoka chuckling, which fanned the heat in her cheeks even further.
“Your hands are nice and warm.”
“Th-thank you.”
“Let’s go. Relaxing in my room, right?”
Kiyoka took Miyo’s hand to pull her along as she remained unable to shake herself from her fluster.
What was she supposed to do? Her heart beat like a drum in her chest.
Every time she’d look at their joined hands and feel his warmth travel through her, an unknown emotion welled up inside her that was more than she could bear. She sensed she was thinking too hard about things she didn’t need to worry about, while also conversely feeling like her thoughts were totally empty.
Trying to escape from her embarrassment and self-consciousness, Miyo spiritedly got to work attending to her fiancé once they were back in his room.
She brought a blanket, brewed warm green tea for him, and added logs to the fireplace.
“Kiyoka, would you like me to draw the bath for you, too?”
“No, that’s fine. Just calm down a bit.”
Her fiancé’s admonishment brought her to a halt. Apparently, she was being too hectic. She wanted to crawl into the nearest hole she could find.
Miyo dejectedly slumped her shoulders and went to sit herself down in the chair opposite Kiyoka.
But being told “Wait,” she stopped and cocked her head.
“Here. Sit over here.”
Kiyoka lined up two chairs right next to each other in front of the fireplace and, sitting in one of them, pointed toward the other.
Although she tried to refuse, thinking she couldn’t possible be so bold, the look in Kiyoka’s eyes told her he was completely serious. They seemed to decisively cut off her objections, as if to say, You don’t think you’re going to defy me, do you?
Unfortunately, Miyo didn’t have the power to go against him.
No, on second thought…
I never once thought this was “unfortunate” at all.
If anything, she was happy…or something close to that. At the very least, she hadn’t the slightest desire to oppose Kiyoka’s request.
Still hesitating, she meekly sat down beside him.
When she did, he spread out the blanket Miyo had grabbed for him. “Come closer,” he told her, wrapping Miyo up completely in the blanket with him.
Their bodies were joined tightly at the side, almost melting together at the point where they touched.
Mere moments after she’d quieted her heart, it frantically started beating again.
“K-Kiyoka.”
“What?”
“Um, well, um.”
“Don’t struggle. Just sit nice and quiet.”
The words sounded like something a kidnapper would say, but Miyo didn’t even have the presence of mind to question them.
“B-but still.”
Why did he want to bring Miyo under the blanket with him, too? Even if she’d wanted to ask him, at that point the pounding of her heart was so loud, it would drown out the answer he gave.
“It’s warmer this way, isn’t it?”
“Th-that’s true…”
She was unable to come up with any other reply, so silence fell over them.
Just sitting there, Miyo couldn’t stop her attention from focusing on Kiyoka’s body beside her. Not because it was unpleasant, of course… If anything, this was because it was the opposite.
She wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that.
Kiyoka casually broke the silence.
“How was it today?”
Miyo obviously knew what Kiyoka’s objective was in asking the question.
How had she spent the day? Had anything happened between her and Fuyu? With how things had played out the day before, obviously the questions would be on his mind.
Just as Miyo was concerned about Kiyoka, so, too, was Kiyoka concerned for Miyo.
“Oh, um, well…”
She had known he was bound to ask, but she hadn’t prepared a good answer.
If she spoke honestly about what had happened, Kiyoka would likely get upset on her behalf again. But this was a problem between Miyo and Fuyu alone.
Still, I don’t want to hide things from him, either.
She had learned well enough that, in moments like these, nothing good came from hiding her feelings. On the other hand, she was conflicted, because she wanted to resolve the situation herself.
In truth, back in Fuyu’s room, she had wanted Tadakiyo to wait a little bit longer before intervening.
That being said, it would have been too late if Fuyu had injured her. If that had happened, her relationship with her mother-in-law would’ve become awkward and unpleasant. Ultimately, Tadakiyo’s timing may have been perfect after all.
Maybe it was selfish that she wanted to resolve things solely through her own efforts, when she didn’t possess any strengths herself.
“Miyo.”
Kiyoka placed his big, firm hand over her own as she sat in his lap.
She was sure that Kiyoka easily saw through her attempt to try hiding things from him. No matter how she tried to deny it, her only option was to be up front with him.
“…Will you listen without getting mad?”
“Depends on what you have to say.”
“Then…I can’t tell you.”
“Started standing up for yourself, huh?”
Kiyoka gave a resigned sigh, sensing Miyo’s firm, unyielding resolve.
“I won’t get mad, so go ahead and tell me.”
“Okay.”
Urged on, Miyo faltered as she began to relate the events following breakfast that morning.
Ultimately, after what happened—when Tadakiyo intervened to mediate things between Fuyu and Miyo—she had been sent back to her room and stayed there quietly.
She wanted to talk to Fuyu one-on-one. While that may have been her wish, once Tadakiyo had stopped them, she couldn’t force the issue. If she displeased her mother-in-law again, it would just cause more trouble for him, too.
But Miyo still had absolutely no intention of giving up now.
While she relayed the full account of what had happened, the air around Kiyoka grew gradually more precarious, and by the time she had finished talking, he looked on the verge of declaring to Miyo that he was going to wring his mother’s neck.
Though the room should’ve warmed up by now, it made her body shiver.
“That woman…,” Kiyoka murmured in a low rumble.
At this rate, he really was going to kill his mother. The picture of the scene, which seemed close to becoming reality, flashed across Miyo’s mind. She vehemently argued in a panic.
“Kiyoka. Um, I wasn’t going to be able to just sit here idly… And Fuyu didn’t ask me to do anything unreasonable, either. Your father also came in to stop her for me, too.”
“That’s not the issue.”
In that case, what was the problem?
“You don’t get it?” Kiyoka responded to Miyo’s confusion, laying his anger bare. “Of course, pushing you around however she pleased is infuriating enough, but… It’s more than that.”
Miyo felt Kiyoka’s hand squeeze down hard on hers.
“She tried to harm your dignity as a human being, out of spite. That’s something I absolutely cannot stand for.”
“Dignity…”
The completely unforeseen reason for his anger brought Miyo even more questions.
As far as she was concerned, she didn’t have any “dignity” in the first place.
Ever since she was born, Miyo had never once thought anything inside her was precious or sacred. Similarly, the thought had never saddened her, either.
She didn’t exactly understand what the “dignity” Kiyoka spoke of really referred to.
“…It’s fine if you don’t really get it. But the fact is, I won’t let it stand.”
Quietly casting his eyes down, Kiyoka looked more pained by the events than Miyo herself. Still, she felt grateful he’d gotten so upset on her behalf.
“It’s exactly like Mother-in-law said; I can’t do anything.”
“That’s not true.”
“No, it is. I’ve learned a number of skills from Sis…and there are some among them that I’ve mastered. But I’m not worth much by myself. I’m sure that…no matter how hard I try from here on out, I’ll never be of much importance.”
Miyo possessed none of the building blocks crucial to a daughter of a noble family. There was a limit to how much she could compensate for with effort alone. The more she learned under Hazuki’s tutelage, the more she came to realize just how ignorant of the world she was, how incompetent she was.
Nevertheless, Miyo wanted to believe there was something, anything, that she could still achieve. Something that would touch another’s heart and change their life forever, like when Kiyoka had decided to choose Miyo once and for all.
“Kiyoka. Thank you for getting angry on my behalf. I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but will you keep watch over me just a little while longer? I want to face Fuyu on my own.”
“How long is ‘a little while’?”
“Until I give up, if possible… Is that okay?”
Miyo had to hold back her smile at Kiyoka’s attitude, reminiscent of a pouting child.
But that peaceful, friendly mood was blown into the wind instantly.
“Will you give up if I say no?”
Kiyoka buried his head in Miyo’s shoulder. She couldn’t see his face at all, but his entire body, from head to toe, was far warmer than it had been a moment ago.
Miyo’s voiced nervously cracked as she answered.
“I-I’m not g-going to give up.”
“…Even if I say that my concern for you is making me unable to focus on my work?”
“Um…I want you to be able to focus on your work.”
Why was it, she wondered? It made her somewhat happy to hear this.
Miyo’s truest feelings were that she always wanted him by her side. Facing Fuyu was scary, and if she could get along by avoiding the situation, she would’ve wanted to. But if she did that, nothing would be solved.
After a little while, Kiyoka heaved a long sigh.
“I lose confidence when you’re around.”
“I’m, um, sorry.”
She couldn’t come up with anything else to say. Kiyoka lifted his head up and smiled at her, despite his troubled, drooping eyes.
“I don’t mind. You should do what you want, how you want.”
“Thank you…!”
Miyo nodded emphatically, and a heartfelt smile spread across her face.
She was sure they’d come to understand each other. Constantly worrying herself over Kiyoka, Fuyu didn’t appear to be a mean person by nature.
Miyo was going to see Fuyu whether she was called to her room or not. That’s what she resolved to do.
It was only Kiyoka and Miyo at dinner that night.
Fuyu claimed she was feeling unwell and didn’t show herself. According to the servants, Tadakiyo was staying by her side.
Watching Miyo innocently sample the Western food–focused meal with curiosity, Kiyoka felt a little relieved.
I think that I was probably scared.
If his mother hurt her, and Miyo closed her heart to the world yet again, then it would ultimately be Kiyoka’s fault for bringing her here after neglecting Fuyu for many years, despite knowing how troublesome she could be.
After the meal was over, he parted ways with Miyo, who said she was going to take a bath.
The mansion’s large bathing area was the real deal. It was fed by an actual hot spring, and the baths were gender segregated. Miyo seemed to have grown quite fond of it.
Kiyoka himself, meanwhile, quickly jotted down the results of his work for the day into a report before getting an impulse out of the blue to head to the cigar room.
The villa’s first floor was equipped with a fairly large cigar room. Both Kiyoka and his sickly father weren’t smokers, however, so it was wholly for guest use.
“There you are. I was waiting for you, Kiyoka.”
“You sure you should be drinking alcohol?”
“Not really, but I thought it’d be nice to share a drink and a heart-to-heart with my son for a change.”
Tadakiyo was sipping from his lone sake cup in the cigar room, casually dressed in his leisure kimono.
Cigars were mainly a male interest, so women didn’t generally come to the room at all.
Kiyoka figured that if Tadakiyo wanted to talk to him, this would be where they did it.
“Please. And just so you know, I haven’t forgiven you.”
Kiyoka sat himself down in the row of chairs, leaving one extra between him and Tadakiyo. When he picked up the extra cup, his father personally poured some sake for him.
“…Miyo isn’t too depressed, is she?” Tadakiyo asked with a melancholic look, showing no particular reaction to his son’s words.
Kiyoka tilted back his cup and slowly swallowed the sake. The local brew he’d bought from the store the day before went down smoothly, with a subtle sweetness.
“She wasn’t depressed… She’s all too accustomed to being hurt like that. To the point where she’s not really sure if she’s been hurt or not.”
“That right? Really did her wrong, then.”
Kiyoka had hated this part of his father for a long time.
Beneath that cheerful smile of his lurked coldhearted cruelty. He never revealed how he truly felt. He’d behave as if he loved his family, but in reality, he didn’t have much interest in them at all.
Though he had voiced his regrets just now, deep down he didn’t feel that way in the slightest.
“It’s always just lip service with you.”
Kiyoka’s childish criticism slipped out without him realizing it. Even though he had long since given up on expecting anything from this father of his.
Tadakiyo’s genial smile looked downright creepy.
“You know, Kiyoka. I really do regret it all. That I neglected the family and the house.”
Saying he was busy was no excuse. Yet Tadakiyo grumbled, still wearing his Noh-mask smile.
…Kiyoka’s father had been born with a weak constitution.
It happened once in a while with Gift-users in families who had inherited a powerful Gift. Their body wouldn’t be able to keep up with the Gift’s power. Even if they were strong enough to live normally without any supernatural powers, their bodies screamed in pain by virtue of their mighty Gift.
Kiyoka also knew that his father had endured much hardship because of this. The Kudou family was peerless. Despite his weak body, he had to protect their position and make sure other families didn’t disrespect them. He tirelessly worked harder than anyone else to fulfill his role.
The same went for his mother. Though she was short tempered and had extravagant spending habits, she’d been an excellent mistress of the house. Besides, her taste for luxury was no obstacle in a family as rich as the Kudous.
Tadakiyo was so busy that he’d had no option but to entrust everything in the house to Fuyu. Kiyoka could understand that, too.
His pent-up feelings naturally spilled over into a sigh.
“…Arguing over the past is just a waste of time.”
Tadakiyo forced a smile as Kiyoka reluctantly cut the topic short.
“That’s true. So let’s talk about something constructive. How about that man you captured; were you able to get anything out of him?”
“He told me that the Nameless Order is really called the Gifted Communion. It’s also highly likely that the man himself was severely brainwashed, or under some sort of powers of suggestion.”
Kiyoka had confined the man he’d captured in the villa’s basement and interrogated him.
To avoid scaring Miyo or the servants, he pretended to come home in the evening, but he had actually been underground in the basement from just after noontime.
The man’s words had been vague and incomprehensible from start to finish.
When asked about his usage of that Gift-like power, he claimed it was from God and asserted that someone like himself couldn’t possibly understand the principles behind such a sacred power.
Then when Kiyoka asked about this mysterious order, the man insisted that they were holy teachings and that anyone who didn’t understand this was a wicked hindrance to the creation of an equal society and human evolution.
He didn’t say anything substantial.
Kiyoka thought that the man might have been deliberately dodging his questions, but even then, his behavior was strange. His emotional oscillations were extremely small. Despite being captured and arrested, he didn’t show the slightest hint of fear or unrest.
“The Gifted Communion, huh? Quite an ominous name for us to hear.”
Since information was shared with all Gift-users regarding the Nameless Order, even someone long removed from active service like Tadakiyo was in the know.
The word Gifted was in the cult’s true name, so it was possible it had some relation to Gift-users in general.
“At any rate, I need to coordinate with the capital. I’ve already sent a familiar off, so there should be some response either tomorrow or the day after.”
Kiyoka was purely on a military mission to investigate the recent happenings nearby. However, now that things had escalated to the point where the government needed to be called in, it would no longer be wise for him to act on his own discretion.
It was a nuisance, but until he had his orders, it seemed like he would need to curb his use of force and concentrate on investigating and keeping watch over the area around the village.
“Hmm. That’s right. Seems clear that the guys wandering around the villa are part of the same group, too.”
Tadakiyo nodded, slowly sipping his sake.
“If push comes to shove, I might…ask you to look after Miyo.”
“Oh, and what do you mean by that?”
Kiyoka glared sharply in response to his father’s teasing question.
He knew Tadakiyo was just playing dumb, but his joke was in poor taste.
“These guys are clearly wary of this house—of our family. There’s no knowing if something will cause them to bare their fangs.”
Considering they were going out of their way to survey the situation here, it was plenty possible. Should that happen, however, Kiyoka wouldn’t be able to respond as freely as he would have liked because he was a public servant.
“To think the day would come when you’d rely on me for something like this.”
“What, is that a problem?”
“Not at all. Just made me think that…you really do love Miyo, don’t you?”
Kiyoka gazed at him, baffled.
For a second, his brain hesitated to actually comprehend what his father had said to him.
Love…?
To say he hadn’t been expecting that was an understatement; Kiyoka was shocked, bewildered, even at Tadakiyo’s suggestion. That was how alien concepts like love and romance were to Kiyoka.
He had never thought deeply about his feelings for Miyo.
Well, I did get the sense I had something like…compassion, or affection, for her.
Unconsciously, he brought his hand up to his mouth and sank into an ocean of memories. Although he sensed that Tadakiyo could perceive the thoughts swimming through his head, Kiyoka wasn’t in a state of mind to pay attention to his father.
He held feelings of love, the kind that formed between a man and a woman, toward Miyo.
It was undoubtedly a shocking truth to arrive at. Still, strangely, it also felt like it was a perfect fit.
The Imperial Palace, the capital.
The information procured from Kiyoka Kudou, the commander of the Special Anti-Grotesquerie Unit who was currently out on a field mission, spread quickly through the government and the military headquarters.
Hence, the related parties were all working in a hurry despite the fact that the sun was low in the sky.
And despite its outwardly tranquil atmosphere, the Imperial Palace was no exception.
Now he’s done it…
Arata Usuba, the successor of the Usuba family, had been called to the imperial residence of Prince Takaihito, representative to the reigning emperor.
Clad in a high-quality dark gray three-piece suit, Usuba had headed here straight from his office, the trading firm operated by his family’s estate.
Treading over the gravel of the walkway, he let out one despondent sigh after another as he headed over to his destination.
Why is it that whenever that man’s involved, he always gets caught up in trouble?
Arata’s feelings toward his cousin’s fiancé, Kiyoka, were complicated.
Thanks to the new information Kiyoka brought regarding the Nameless Order, aka the Gifted Communion, the central government was in utter chaos. This had spurred Takaihito to summon Arata, who still had no clue as to what was going on.
Why, after going out to investigate a simple Grotesquerie sighting, did Kiyoka end up getting involved with a religious order planning to rebel against the emperor? It was utterly incomprehensible.
A servant waiting deferentially received Arata upon arriving at his destination.
“We’ve been waiting for you, Master Arata.”
“Lead the way.”
“As you wish.”
Following behind the aging male servant, Arata was led into the audience chamber in the deepest part of the residence.
“Pardon me. Master Arata has arrived.”
When the servant made his announcement through a paper sliding door, Takaihito called out from the other side, granting them permission to enter.
Arata slowly pulled back the sliding door and quietly entered the room. These movements were natural and automatic, a product of the etiquette that had been drilled into him from a young age as the Usuba family heir.
“Prince Takaihito. Arata Usuba, at your service.”
“Glad to see you, Arata.”
The same beautiful personage as always. Sitting in a dark blue ceremonial court dress tailored from the highest-quality silk, with his otherworldly and beautiful features. No matter how many times Arata laid eyes on the prince, he couldn’t believe he was actually real.
“Prince Takaihito, with the humblest respects—”
“Our time now is precious. We shall save the leisurely greetings for a later date.”
It was rare for Takaihito to hastily move the conversation along, so Arata’s eyes widened in surprise.
Rushing, panic, and similar words all seemed totally foreign to Takaihito. And indeed, they actually were. The fact he had hurried on to the topic at hand signaled the gravity of the situation.
“I shall get straight to the point. Arata, I ask you to make for the Kudou villa posthaste.”
“What.”
“You have an objection?”
No, that wasn’t really the issue.
The august individual in front of him appeared to see through Arata’s bafflement, and an awkward, tepid atmosphere developed between them.
“I understand. Nevertheless, you are the proper person to handle this task. Go, and you shall understand,” Takaihito said, before appending a “probably” to his statement with what appeared to be a smile.
Arata figured that, as long as Kiyoka was there, that would be more than enough fighting strength. Even when accounting for whatever sort of hidden trump card these Gifted Communion people had up their sleeve.
In which case, it was the Usubas’ Gift that was needed here. That was the only explanation Arata could come up with for why he was being sent to Kiyoka.
“Though I did say posthaste a moment ago…I realize the day has grown late. Once you have exchanged information with the Special Anti-Grotesquerie Unit tomorrow, you can set out the following morning. That will do,” Takaihito said.
“An awfully detailed itinerary.”
“Hmm. Speaking truthfully, even I do not yet understand what is going on… However, it is clear that sending you out to see him is the best course of action.”
There were often times when Takaihito’s statements were very abstract. Nevertheless, since he was the wielder of the Divine Revelation, his words were absolute. Arata had no reason to oppose them right now.
It was thanks to Takaihito that the Usubas were beginning to be freed from their plight. A joyful change for both Arata and his family.
Takaihito was a lord worth serving with his heart and soul. That was certain.
“Understand, Arata?”
At Takaihito’s question, Arata deeply bowed his head to the floor.
“Absolutely, Prince Takaihito. As you wish.”
It was then, somewhere in the back of his head, he had a foreboding thought.
That in order for the Usuba family to continue to change, there were people and a past that they would need to confront.
—as well as the results of such confrontation, which would endanger the Usubas’ very survival.
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